It doesn't really count as fic writing
because technically it's comment!fic, and it only took me a very short time and is unbeta'ed etc. _minxy_ said, "Write a ficlet entitled or including the words in the subject of some spam sent to you recently."
~940 words, Humor, SG1, no spoilers, early seasons (1-4ish). With a few teensy touch-ups from original comment on minx's lj.
The Small Stuff
----------------
They weren't really worried by the time Sam showed up in the guest house. Radio contact was sporadic at best on Aglana, and she had connected long enough about a half-hour ago to check in, apologize for being late, and inform them she was headed back. There was no indication of danger, and in fact the locals had been more than accommodating, with everything from trade offers, to biology discussions, to the local version of coffee and danishes.
"Strained merra root," Daniel had corrected, downing a second cup. "And it's called a 'fenlo,' not a danish."
Danishes aside, there was always the (sadly less than unlikely) chance that these smiling, good-natured granola folks were about to turn them over to a System Lord, or try to use their minds to power ancient generators, or whatever else evil good-natured granola folks did to pass the time. As Teal'c stood guard over the snack table, Jack drummed his fingers against his thigh and took a step toward a pace.
"She'll be here any minute." Daniel said from the green rocking chair in the corner. His eyes didn't leave the large leather-bound book in his lap.
True to Daniel's word, Carter tromped through the door not a minute later, a muddy mess but still in one piece. Jack silently added another tick to the "Good Guys" column on his mental tally board under "Aglana."
"Oh my god," Sam said, dumping her pack and stretching out. She took a deep breath, and her stomach gave a growl that could be heard across the room. "Is that coffee?"
"Strained--" Daniel started.
"Yes," Jack said. "Have some. Don't ruin your dinner."
Sam knocked the heels of her boots, one after the other, against the slate doorframe, before making a beeline for the snacks. Teal'c had already poured her a cup, and handed it to her with a leaf-wrapped danish. She cursorily wiped her hands off on the front of her vest before accepting the food, and really, it didn't seem to last in the outside world long enough to get any germs, anyway.
"Do you know the kind of people who just never let you get out of a conversation?" Sam said, crumbling the leaf in her hand and tossing it toward what they'd assumed was a trash can.
"Haven't a clue--" Jack started, at the same time Daniel said, "Don't start," and casually flipped a page in his book.
"I mean, Fydori's a nice guy, and they're all excellent biologists," she continued. She looked around and then lowered her voice. "But sometimes it's like dealing with an entire litter of over-eager puppies."
No one had to say Better than the alternative, because they all knew it was true. But one of the good things about dealing with normal, non-life-threatening situations off-world was the chance to complain about the little things. They all seemed to do it, warranted or not, in some cases.
Sam sunk into a rocker by the table and toed her way out of her boots. "It didn't help that Fydori was making moon eyes at me the whole time."
"Moon eyes?" Teal'c asked.
Carter sighed. "Help me out here, Daniel."
"What?" He put a finger on the page to keep his place, and pushed up his glasses.
"Well, you've had plenty of experience with them."
Daniel looked up. "I don't . . . what?"
Sam stopped rocking, planting her socked feet on the floor. "You mean you don't notice when someone has a crush on you? Like, right out of the gate?"
"And you can tell?" Daniel countered.
"We can always tell."
"We?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
Sam shrugged. "It's a girl thing. We can always tell."
"I have indeed found this to be true," Teal'c said, frowning at his danish. As the others watched, he polished the rest of it off in one bite, as if suddenly coming to the conclusion that the poor pastry deserved it.
He looked up to see three pairs of eyes still on him. Without a word, he picked up another danish.
"I was trying to make small talk," Sam continued. "One comment about how pretty the birds were, and he just wouldn't let it go. 'Yes, lovely birds here, you must like birds so I'll list them all, and later I can give you a wildlife tour.'"
"Um--" Daniel said.
"It was like disentangling from a briar patch to get out of the subject. Now he wants me to come by tomorrow to see an oak-crested meter-ampere or something like that."
Daniel was in the middle of a sip of coffee, and he gave a snort and a hurried swallow, rocking swiftly forward. With a move they must have taught at archeology school as an alternative to the "don't drink and rock with manuscripts" track, he managed to spill the rest of the cup's contents everywhere except on the book in his lap.
Sam looked at him in horror. "It's not a bird, is it?"
"No..." Daniel said, trying to contain his laughter. "So um, were you listening when I briefed everyone about metaphor on Aglana?"
"Oh god." Sam put her hands to her forehead. "I hate other cultures."
Jack reached for a danish, but Teal'c had apparently cleaned out the plate while no one was looking. So he settled for pouring the last bit of coffee into his cup, and tossed a pack towel over to Daniel to take care of the spill. Daniel was laughing too hard to offer any advice, so it was up to the colonel's wisdom to handle this latest snag.
"Just... politely decline," he said.
No sweat.
-------------
~940 words, Humor, SG1, no spoilers, early seasons (1-4ish). With a few teensy touch-ups from original comment on minx's lj.
The Small Stuff
----------------
They weren't really worried by the time Sam showed up in the guest house. Radio contact was sporadic at best on Aglana, and she had connected long enough about a half-hour ago to check in, apologize for being late, and inform them she was headed back. There was no indication of danger, and in fact the locals had been more than accommodating, with everything from trade offers, to biology discussions, to the local version of coffee and danishes.
"Strained merra root," Daniel had corrected, downing a second cup. "And it's called a 'fenlo,' not a danish."
Danishes aside, there was always the (sadly less than unlikely) chance that these smiling, good-natured granola folks were about to turn them over to a System Lord, or try to use their minds to power ancient generators, or whatever else evil good-natured granola folks did to pass the time. As Teal'c stood guard over the snack table, Jack drummed his fingers against his thigh and took a step toward a pace.
"She'll be here any minute." Daniel said from the green rocking chair in the corner. His eyes didn't leave the large leather-bound book in his lap.
True to Daniel's word, Carter tromped through the door not a minute later, a muddy mess but still in one piece. Jack silently added another tick to the "Good Guys" column on his mental tally board under "Aglana."
"Oh my god," Sam said, dumping her pack and stretching out. She took a deep breath, and her stomach gave a growl that could be heard across the room. "Is that coffee?"
"Strained--" Daniel started.
"Yes," Jack said. "Have some. Don't ruin your dinner."
Sam knocked the heels of her boots, one after the other, against the slate doorframe, before making a beeline for the snacks. Teal'c had already poured her a cup, and handed it to her with a leaf-wrapped danish. She cursorily wiped her hands off on the front of her vest before accepting the food, and really, it didn't seem to last in the outside world long enough to get any germs, anyway.
"Do you know the kind of people who just never let you get out of a conversation?" Sam said, crumbling the leaf in her hand and tossing it toward what they'd assumed was a trash can.
"Haven't a clue--" Jack started, at the same time Daniel said, "Don't start," and casually flipped a page in his book.
"I mean, Fydori's a nice guy, and they're all excellent biologists," she continued. She looked around and then lowered her voice. "But sometimes it's like dealing with an entire litter of over-eager puppies."
No one had to say Better than the alternative, because they all knew it was true. But one of the good things about dealing with normal, non-life-threatening situations off-world was the chance to complain about the little things. They all seemed to do it, warranted or not, in some cases.
Sam sunk into a rocker by the table and toed her way out of her boots. "It didn't help that Fydori was making moon eyes at me the whole time."
"Moon eyes?" Teal'c asked.
Carter sighed. "Help me out here, Daniel."
"What?" He put a finger on the page to keep his place, and pushed up his glasses.
"Well, you've had plenty of experience with them."
Daniel looked up. "I don't . . . what?"
Sam stopped rocking, planting her socked feet on the floor. "You mean you don't notice when someone has a crush on you? Like, right out of the gate?"
"And you can tell?" Daniel countered.
"We can always tell."
"We?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
Sam shrugged. "It's a girl thing. We can always tell."
"I have indeed found this to be true," Teal'c said, frowning at his danish. As the others watched, he polished the rest of it off in one bite, as if suddenly coming to the conclusion that the poor pastry deserved it.
He looked up to see three pairs of eyes still on him. Without a word, he picked up another danish.
"I was trying to make small talk," Sam continued. "One comment about how pretty the birds were, and he just wouldn't let it go. 'Yes, lovely birds here, you must like birds so I'll list them all, and later I can give you a wildlife tour.'"
"Um--" Daniel said.
"It was like disentangling from a briar patch to get out of the subject. Now he wants me to come by tomorrow to see an oak-crested meter-ampere or something like that."
Daniel was in the middle of a sip of coffee, and he gave a snort and a hurried swallow, rocking swiftly forward. With a move they must have taught at archeology school as an alternative to the "don't drink and rock with manuscripts" track, he managed to spill the rest of the cup's contents everywhere except on the book in his lap.
Sam looked at him in horror. "It's not a bird, is it?"
"No..." Daniel said, trying to contain his laughter. "So um, were you listening when I briefed everyone about metaphor on Aglana?"
"Oh god." Sam put her hands to her forehead. "I hate other cultures."
Jack reached for a danish, but Teal'c had apparently cleaned out the plate while no one was looking. So he settled for pouring the last bit of coffee into his cup, and tossed a pack towel over to Daniel to take care of the spill. Daniel was laughing too hard to offer any advice, so it was up to the colonel's wisdom to handle this latest snag.
"Just... politely decline," he said.
No sweat.
-------------