Death Is Inside The Bones
Title: Death Is Inside The Bones
Series: #4 in Only Death
(#1 - A Hushed Sound, #2 - Drowning Inside Our Hearts, #3 - Going Into Ourselves)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine! Characters you recognize belong to Marvel, and I've incoporated some comic back story into the movieverse.
Notes: References to violence are made but not discussed at any length. Series and story titles from Pablo Neruda's "Nothing But Death." This series follows Ready For The Siege and may refer to events in it, but is probably okay to read without having read the other series first. Any questions about events in this series, just ask. :)
Summary: Helena wants to know what's in store for her, so it's time to visit Avengers Tower to learn more.
"Hello, Natasha."
Natasha Romanoff didn't jump in surprise, but it was only because of her past training in the Red Room. Her hair was vivid red and cut into a short bob with bangs, making her look young and precious. She was casually dressed in jeans and a loose T shirt in a bottle green that matched her eyes. Her feet were bare, toes curling into the loose carpeting of her suite in Avengers Tower. It had been redone since Helena had last been there, less muted tones and whites, a light pastel blue in the sitting room. The carpet was still white, soft and fine, and the furniture remained white leather. Photos were littering the walls now instead of impersonal landscapes or stock photos used to stage homes. They were of all the Avengers, Natasha and her lovers James Barnes and Loki, and even a sketch of her with Yelena Belova when they were both young and relatively innocent. It looked like Steve Rogers' work.
"Helena?" she asked. Her head tilted to the side after a moment. "Or is it Hel now?"
The young princess of Helheim laughed. "Helena still, though I've taken on others. The name would suffice for now."
"How can I help you?"
"Are you so sure that you can?" Helena asked, lips tilting up into an amused smile.
"If I couldn't, you wouldn't be here."
"You assume I meant what I said about not bothering you."
"On that, I think you truly were," Natasha replied evenly.
"I suppose there are things you may help me with," Helena replied. "Shall we sit and discuss them all?"
Nonplussed, Natasha nodded, and padded over to the couch. Helena sat beside her, body tilted to face Natasha. "I need you to tell me what you know of Thanos."
Natasha blinked in surprise. "Why?"
"Do you need to know the particulars?" Helena asked, a bit irritated.
"To make sure I tell you anything useful? Yes. It would waste your time to tell you what you already know. And it's not like I know much. Loki would know more, given that he was actually in Thanos' company for a while."
"Where is he?"
"I think he was planning on sparring with Steve today, and Sif if she felt up to it."
"Why wouldn't she?"
"Well, she's in her first trimester and often gets nauseous," Natasha answered. "It's more of a practical thing, because throwing up during hand to hand or weapons training is annoying."
Helena blinked. "A child. Between an Asgardian and mortal man?" A corner of her mouth ticked up in an almost hopeful smile. Instead of an imperial princess, she now appeared childlike in her eagerness. "When we finish speaking, can I meet her? Can I see the child?"
"We've got a ways to go before it's born..."
"No, no, I could feel the essence of its being. Maybe feel the dreams it has as it sleeps." The smile turned wistful. "My only education thus far has been with the dead. I have more seers and magic practitioners to find to teach me, but I would like to see something of the living as well as the dead."
"What could an unborn child teach you?" Natasha asked in confusion.
Now Helena's smile was beatific and joyful. "How to be. The potential of the universe lies in an unborn child, didn't you know that?"
"I suppose," Natasha replied slowly, still confused. "There are a lot of potentials with the whole process that make me uneasy."
She nodded earnestly. "And I hold to my promise not to force you down that path. But you were going to tell me of Thanos."
"What did you need to know?" Natasha asked.
"Anything. I know he courts Hel and she loathes his touch and every fiber of his being. I know she plans to have me distract him. But I don't know how to do such a thing."
"She told you this?"
Helena waved a hand negligently. "Helaine did, before the dissolution and absorption. Hel will not tell me anything."
Natasha blew out a slow breath. "I think Loki would be better off helping you, considering I have no idea what that even means but it sounds like it must be magic. I don't know much about Thanos. He's been called the mad Titan, apparently, because he courts Hel. He worships death in all its forms, and is perfectly willing to raze entire planets using the Chitauri as foot soldiers to accomplish that. There are powerful stones that he looks for and uses in order to destroy planets, and we're never sure if Earth is going to be next."
Her eyes lit up at the mention of the stones. "Yes. Bring me to Loki. That would show my goodwill and honestly about not manipulating him as Hel would."
"I suppose," Natasha said uncertainly as she stood. "Jarvis," she called out, "let them know we're on our way so they can wind down before we get there."
"Understood, Miss Romanoff," the AI's voice replied. Helena merely smiled at Natasha, pleased, and followed her to the gym on the common floor. Sif was sitting off to the side in casual clothing, which indicated she hadn't fought yet. Natasha headed to her first after nodding at Loki and Steve, still drinking waters and drenched in sweat. Loki's eyes gleamed in satisfaction from having Steve fall at least once during the fight, and his expression turned brooding at the sight of Helena following Natasha.
"Ginger tea?" Natasha asked sympathetically, sitting beside Sif and eyeing her large mug.
Sif nodded. "I am not ailing, just not at my best."
Leaning in close, Helena smiled at her in what was probably meant to be encouraging but came across as vaguely greedy. "May I see?"
Startled, Sif actually leaned back and away from her, eyes swinging to Natasha to ask who Helena was. The goddess took that as consent and leaned close to Sif's belly, a smile on her face as her eyes went glassy and unfocused. "Oh. Such a beautiful lifeline. The threads are so complex, full of such potential and talent. So lucky," she murmured before leaning back and away from Sif. Her eyes focused back on the present reality, and Helena backed away further as her memories slotted back into place. "That's how it should be."
"What are you talking about?" Sif asked, an uncomfortable edge to her tone.
"I'm learning how to use the skills I have," Helena replied. "I've yet to find all the practitioners in Helheim to continue my study, but there are more pressing issues."
"What's more pressing than controlling your magic?" she asked harshly.
"Thanos."
Loki was across the room quickly, jaw clenched tight and eyes bright with fear and anger. "What news have you of the monster? There are no sightings near this realm."
"Mother would wish me to occupy his time so that she doesn't have to bear it," Helena replied in a bland, bored tone. Her expression was just as carefully blank.
"Wow. And I thought I had no context for healthy family relationships," Natasha said in the awkward silence. All eyes swung in her direction, and she shrugged. "What? I don't."
"I think you had best explain from the beginning," Loki told Helena. His eyes swept over her, and he grew visibly disconcerted. "You appear much like Selene Gallio, yet are infused with Hel's magic and something else almost familiar..."
"I have the magic of your former lover and of your daughter," Helena replied evenly, looking at him with clear eyes. "I am not of her flesh, however, so I don't think I could call you Grandfather with any accuracy."
If anything, that made Loki blanch.
"I think Darcy would call this a cookie emergency," Steve said in the silence. "How about we all get some food in the kitchen?"
"Excellent idea," Helena replied, expression brightening. "I have memories of such things but haven't tasted one for myself."
Before anyone else could move, they all seemed to shift from the gym to the kitchen in the blink of an eye. Loki was still deathly pale, but now his eyes were wide with terror. Natasha looked vaguely ill, a hand over her stomach. Sif lost her footing and fell to the floor, Steve narrowly missing catching her.
Helena moved around the kitchen, rapidly going through the pantry and cabinets to hunt down any cookies that might have been stashed away. The other four looked at each other, surprised, and arranged themselves around the table by the time she had returned with a bakery box, three bags of store bought cookies and the tub of cookies and cream ice cream from the freezer. She had an expression on her face of sheer delight, making her seem like a very young child being allowed to eat cookies and candy on Halloween.
Natasha remembered that she was created about a year ago, even if she had an adult's body. "I think we could all use an explanation so we can help you," she said, helping Helena deposit the bags onto the table. "You're about a year old?"
"In your years," Helena replied, opening the bakery box. "But time has no meaning in Helheim, and I have never been an infant. Not a proper one as mortals think of it, not as the little one in Sif's womb is."
"So what's this about Thanos?" Natasha prompted as Helena shoved an entire chocolate chip cookie into her mouth.
The cookie seemed to dissolve instantly so that Helena could reply. "It seems to be the tradition of Helheim that all Helenas will learn how best to operate their own magicks on their own. Hel observes, perhaps - Helaine had planned to do that for Hel, at least - but Hel has no interest in seeing me master my magic. So I have found Helaine to do so." She flicked her eyes at Loki, who was frowning in confusion. "My Helaine is the Hel you knew when young, she who taught you the secret ways of Yggdrasil. There had never needed to be a name for her other than Helena and then Hel, so I have named her Helaine, and she no longer exists in that form."
"I think I have a headache," Steve muttered.
Helena reached across the table, physics distorting so that she could touch his forehead with the tips of her fingers. "Be well, soldier," she murmured, and there was a warmth that spread out from Steve across to the others. "All of you, be well. I am not here to harm you. I have promised Natasha that I would not use her as a pawn as Hel did. I will not use any mortals as pawns. I have my own plans for the future, but I will not involve any of you."
"But you're here-" Loki began.
"Because you know of Thanos. Because Hel will not teach me, Helaine never met him, and she no longer exists as separate. I have need to know of him, so I come here to learn. Then I will continue my studies. Likely by seeking out Karnilla in the Shadowed Lands."
Loki covered his face in his hands. "By the Tree," he muttered.
"You really don't know how to talk with humans," Natasha muttered.
"Why? I'm not human."
"This would go so much easier if you were."
Helena cocked her head to the side as if she was listening to something. "Yes. I can see the point," she said finally. "But I do not plan to interfere with mortal lives."
"It would help you speak with the residents of Helheim," Sif pointed out.
"I... I suppose." Helena frowned, suddenly looking like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes that had realized she hadn't known how to do it after all. "I am not trying to be rude, you understand," she said quietly. She lifted her eyes to Natasha. "You are one of her favorites. And you know many things. Ophelia is annoyed that Yelena still holds love for you, even if it isn't the same as it once was. You are the first one I thought of that might have some knowledge of Thanos. And we've spoken before."
"You're different now," Natasha observed.
"Because I am," Helena replied simply. Her gaze swung toward Loki. "You know of Thanos."
Loki looked as though he had bitten into something sour, and spread his hands helplessly. "What do you wish to know? It's been many mortal years since I last had seen him."
"Tell me what you know," Helena said sharply, power inherent in her voice. "I must know what he is, why his touch repulses Hel so."
Steve and Sif may have made choking sounds, and Loki looked incredulous. Natasha was the only one whose expression remained impassive.
"Stick to the facts," Natasha advised Loki in a bland tone. "Too many distractions right around now, and I don't think we want to explore them."
He nodded and took a deep breath as he eyed Steve and Sif. Deciding that it didn't matter what they knew about that time period, he began to speak.
***
In exchange for Loki's tale, Helena agreed to summon Karnilla to Avengers Tower. Though Sif looked vaguely ill at that, she passed it off as morning sickness and stayed close to Steve. "I have heard of her skill," Loki murmured. "She taught my mother, and my mother taught me. Others had the chance to study with her, but I hadn't really. I didn't realize she died."
"Oh, yes," Helena replied in a blithe tone, sketching a circle on the dining room floor in ordinary iodized salt. "Amora killed her."
Loki was nonplussed by that. "I should ask Wanda to view this. She's my student," Loki added as an explanation to Helena.
"If you wish," Helena replied with a shrug. "Is she here now?"
"No, she and her brother are in the city with Sam Wilson," Loki replied. "She'll be sorry she missed meeting Karnilla."
"I can key the circle to you, so that you could summon her at another time to help you instruct your student."
He blinked in surprise at her. "You would do that?"
"Why not?"
"Because your mother wouldn't."
"She delights in needless cruelty," Helena snapped, her calm and indifferent demeanor cracking, bitterness and anger seeping through.
Then the mask slipped back into place, and she was the odd girl that looked far older and more delicate than she really was.
"Then I thank you," Loki murmured, dipping his head in a respectful manner.
Steve, Sif and Natasha wandered away from the dining room after that, leaving the two to talk of magic and differences in summoning rituals. "I don't like this," Steve intoned.
"Bad things happen when the dead come back," Sif said in a warning tone.
"Yeah," Natasha replied in a droll tone. "Sometimes they come back all wrong."
Sif flushed slightly. "I didn't mean that. Your return was obviously not harmful. I meant, there is a price. There is always a price for working with the dead, and we often don't know what full payment is going to be."
"I believe her when she says that she won't hurt us."
"But will Hel?" Steve asked quietly.
Natasha sighed then. "That, I really don't know."
***
You like them, Helaine murmured with a pleased smile.
"As people, not as tools," Helena said, standing on the edge of Yggdrasil's branch to look out over the galaxy. She smiled at the sight, at the quiet beauty of the stars twinkling in the void.
I do recognize the difference in how you see them, Helaine replied, a smile in her voice. He's different now. Your grandfather.
"What was he like then?"
He was an arrogant boy, so sure he knew everything. He's grown. Now he knows he doesn't, and it's changed him. It tempered the bitterness and rage inside him. Helaine sounded almost wistful. If this version of Loki had been Hel's father, perhaps she would not have been so cruel to you. Perhaps she would be kinder, and an actual mother.
"It doesn't matter now. I have you. Those mortals were interesting. I think I would like visiting them more often. I can see why Hel did, though she pushed and pulled them to get what she wanted. I won't do such a thing."
Don't make promises you can't keep. You don't know that you won't.
Helena sighed at Helaine's reasonable tone. "I don't plan on it. I can promise that much."
Once you're Hel, and the current Hel had been absorbed into you...
"I think when that happens," Helena began slowly, "I will be able to take just her magic and nothing else. Power without soul. What makes her the way she is will be lost, and that will be just as well for the universe. I won't be her, and I won't have her in my mind."
Then summon Karnilla again. Or if she is busy on the mortal plane with Loki, call forth another teacher that would work with you.
"Melampus of Pylos and Väinämöinen, you said." Helena could feel Helaine's assent. "And Hel will summon me soon, to pass along the paramour she despises. I wonder what excuse she will use to do it. I wonder if she expects me to bed him."
What you do is your own choice.
"You didn't despise my grandfather."
No, I did not, Helaine all but purred in satisfaction.
"Would the Titan be a worthy ally?"
He worships death, my dear. All he wants is to court Lady Death in all her glory. He would gift her the universe if she asked for it, with the deaths of thousands of worlds as a bride's gift, if only to woo her.
Helena found herself smiling widely, though she wasn't entirely sure why. But in an instant she was on the tiny satellite where Thanos was sitting on his throne, contemplating which world he would want to conquer next. He bored easily, she could tell, and her sudden appearance in front of him made him sit up and take notice.
"State your business," he boomed, eyes narrowing at her.
She laughed, a bright and cheerful sound. "Oh, Thanos. How pedestrian."
"Who are you?"
"Not any better. I am my mother's daughter."
He rose from his throne, possibly intending to intimidate her. But she giggled and shook her head. "No, no, no. This is not how you get someone to speak with you. No wonder my mother has no interest in you."
That brought him up short, just as she knew it would. "Your mother," he echoed.
"Queen Hel of Helheim. She's not very interested in you at all. I was wondering why, and wanted to see the man that would be my stepfather."
Thanos frowned at her. "I have children enough."
"None of your flesh and blood." Just as she wasn't of Hel's flesh and blood either, just of her magic and will. Helena shrugged. "Hel would not wish to bear you children anyway. She loathes being touched in any way."
"I touch her all the time."
"And then she scours herself clean with fire and magic." Helaine had been quite up front on that detail, and had thought it sad. "I think she hopes to pawn you off to me."
Perhaps Helena should have spared a thought for Thanos' feelings before putting the truth out there so baldly. He could tell she wasn't lying, and started to roar with fury.
"You are not my lady love," Thanos snarled.
"No, I am not. I'm a child. That's rather sick, don't you think?"
"I do not defile children," he roared.
No, he simply rips them apart, kills their families, and has them become trained assassins to kill in his name, Helaine scoffed. Not defiling their innocence at all.
Helena knew better than to laugh, even though she sorely wanted to. Instead, she nodded at Thanos with a grave expression. "I think she seeks to harm us."
"You are her daughter."
"She finds me lacking. She has no interest in you in a romantic sense. There must be something she wanted from you." His jaw clenched, telling her that yes, they had discussed something. She held up a hand. "You don't have to tell me. I don't care what it is." He would let it slip sooner or later, and she could possibly get it for herself before Hel could. And once she did, Thanos would never believe that Hel hadn't stolen it.
"I would have burned the entire galaxy in her name," Thanos murmured.
"Ultimately, that doesn't impress her."
He roared in disappointment and began to pace in an agitated manner across his asteroid. Helena didn't move or blink, but rocks around her crumbled and fell. She could see a gauntlet on his throne, golden and with empty sockets on the top for six stones. The gauntlet itself radiated a certain power, and she was sure that it had to be the item that Hel was looking for. She was greedy for power, and this likely was an object able to harness it.
"What would impress her?" Thanos asked finally, his voice sounding small and almost pathetic.
"If I knew, maybe I could get her to care for me, too," Helena replied gently. "It's a clawing feeling, isn't it?" He stared at her, entire body tight with tension. She pushed on, stepping closer, gaze locked to his. "An emptiness inside, like something is missing. Like if only I could do something worthy enough, maybe she could love me. Maybe she could want me. If I was worth her time, if I was good enough..."
"But it's never good enough, is it?"
"I'm not sure it is."
Thanos let out a sigh, a discontent sound. Closer to the throne, Helena could feel the tenor of the gauntlet's magical signature. She could find it again no matter where or when in space it was, and she would be able to track down the stones that fit into the sockets.
"I don't see my lady as a mother."
Helena gave him a mirthless smile. "She isn't much of one. I'm alone most of the time."
"I think of myself as a good father. Perhaps you would like to meet my children," he offered, extending a hand to her.
She hesitated visibly, then took it. "I could use a friend."
He nodded at her. "A friend," he acknowledged.
Soon enough, she would have the gauntlet, and then the stones. Once she had trained with Karnilla, Melampus of Pylos and Väinämöinen, then Hel would meet her fate.
It almost made Helena smile, just thinking about it.
The End
Series: #4 in Only Death
(#1 - A Hushed Sound, #2 - Drowning Inside Our Hearts, #3 - Going Into Ourselves)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine! Characters you recognize belong to Marvel, and I've incoporated some comic back story into the movieverse.
Notes: References to violence are made but not discussed at any length. Series and story titles from Pablo Neruda's "Nothing But Death." This series follows Ready For The Siege and may refer to events in it, but is probably okay to read without having read the other series first. Any questions about events in this series, just ask. :)
Summary: Helena wants to know what's in store for her, so it's time to visit Avengers Tower to learn more.
"Hello, Natasha."
Natasha Romanoff didn't jump in surprise, but it was only because of her past training in the Red Room. Her hair was vivid red and cut into a short bob with bangs, making her look young and precious. She was casually dressed in jeans and a loose T shirt in a bottle green that matched her eyes. Her feet were bare, toes curling into the loose carpeting of her suite in Avengers Tower. It had been redone since Helena had last been there, less muted tones and whites, a light pastel blue in the sitting room. The carpet was still white, soft and fine, and the furniture remained white leather. Photos were littering the walls now instead of impersonal landscapes or stock photos used to stage homes. They were of all the Avengers, Natasha and her lovers James Barnes and Loki, and even a sketch of her with Yelena Belova when they were both young and relatively innocent. It looked like Steve Rogers' work.
"Helena?" she asked. Her head tilted to the side after a moment. "Or is it Hel now?"
The young princess of Helheim laughed. "Helena still, though I've taken on others. The name would suffice for now."
"How can I help you?"
"Are you so sure that you can?" Helena asked, lips tilting up into an amused smile.
"If I couldn't, you wouldn't be here."
"You assume I meant what I said about not bothering you."
"On that, I think you truly were," Natasha replied evenly.
"I suppose there are things you may help me with," Helena replied. "Shall we sit and discuss them all?"
Nonplussed, Natasha nodded, and padded over to the couch. Helena sat beside her, body tilted to face Natasha. "I need you to tell me what you know of Thanos."
Natasha blinked in surprise. "Why?"
"Do you need to know the particulars?" Helena asked, a bit irritated.
"To make sure I tell you anything useful? Yes. It would waste your time to tell you what you already know. And it's not like I know much. Loki would know more, given that he was actually in Thanos' company for a while."
"Where is he?"
"I think he was planning on sparring with Steve today, and Sif if she felt up to it."
"Why wouldn't she?"
"Well, she's in her first trimester and often gets nauseous," Natasha answered. "It's more of a practical thing, because throwing up during hand to hand or weapons training is annoying."
Helena blinked. "A child. Between an Asgardian and mortal man?" A corner of her mouth ticked up in an almost hopeful smile. Instead of an imperial princess, she now appeared childlike in her eagerness. "When we finish speaking, can I meet her? Can I see the child?"
"We've got a ways to go before it's born..."
"No, no, I could feel the essence of its being. Maybe feel the dreams it has as it sleeps." The smile turned wistful. "My only education thus far has been with the dead. I have more seers and magic practitioners to find to teach me, but I would like to see something of the living as well as the dead."
"What could an unborn child teach you?" Natasha asked in confusion.
Now Helena's smile was beatific and joyful. "How to be. The potential of the universe lies in an unborn child, didn't you know that?"
"I suppose," Natasha replied slowly, still confused. "There are a lot of potentials with the whole process that make me uneasy."
She nodded earnestly. "And I hold to my promise not to force you down that path. But you were going to tell me of Thanos."
"What did you need to know?" Natasha asked.
"Anything. I know he courts Hel and she loathes his touch and every fiber of his being. I know she plans to have me distract him. But I don't know how to do such a thing."
"She told you this?"
Helena waved a hand negligently. "Helaine did, before the dissolution and absorption. Hel will not tell me anything."
Natasha blew out a slow breath. "I think Loki would be better off helping you, considering I have no idea what that even means but it sounds like it must be magic. I don't know much about Thanos. He's been called the mad Titan, apparently, because he courts Hel. He worships death in all its forms, and is perfectly willing to raze entire planets using the Chitauri as foot soldiers to accomplish that. There are powerful stones that he looks for and uses in order to destroy planets, and we're never sure if Earth is going to be next."
Her eyes lit up at the mention of the stones. "Yes. Bring me to Loki. That would show my goodwill and honestly about not manipulating him as Hel would."
"I suppose," Natasha said uncertainly as she stood. "Jarvis," she called out, "let them know we're on our way so they can wind down before we get there."
"Understood, Miss Romanoff," the AI's voice replied. Helena merely smiled at Natasha, pleased, and followed her to the gym on the common floor. Sif was sitting off to the side in casual clothing, which indicated she hadn't fought yet. Natasha headed to her first after nodding at Loki and Steve, still drinking waters and drenched in sweat. Loki's eyes gleamed in satisfaction from having Steve fall at least once during the fight, and his expression turned brooding at the sight of Helena following Natasha.
"Ginger tea?" Natasha asked sympathetically, sitting beside Sif and eyeing her large mug.
Sif nodded. "I am not ailing, just not at my best."
Leaning in close, Helena smiled at her in what was probably meant to be encouraging but came across as vaguely greedy. "May I see?"
Startled, Sif actually leaned back and away from her, eyes swinging to Natasha to ask who Helena was. The goddess took that as consent and leaned close to Sif's belly, a smile on her face as her eyes went glassy and unfocused. "Oh. Such a beautiful lifeline. The threads are so complex, full of such potential and talent. So lucky," she murmured before leaning back and away from Sif. Her eyes focused back on the present reality, and Helena backed away further as her memories slotted back into place. "That's how it should be."
"What are you talking about?" Sif asked, an uncomfortable edge to her tone.
"I'm learning how to use the skills I have," Helena replied. "I've yet to find all the practitioners in Helheim to continue my study, but there are more pressing issues."
"What's more pressing than controlling your magic?" she asked harshly.
"Thanos."
Loki was across the room quickly, jaw clenched tight and eyes bright with fear and anger. "What news have you of the monster? There are no sightings near this realm."
"Mother would wish me to occupy his time so that she doesn't have to bear it," Helena replied in a bland, bored tone. Her expression was just as carefully blank.
"Wow. And I thought I had no context for healthy family relationships," Natasha said in the awkward silence. All eyes swung in her direction, and she shrugged. "What? I don't."
"I think you had best explain from the beginning," Loki told Helena. His eyes swept over her, and he grew visibly disconcerted. "You appear much like Selene Gallio, yet are infused with Hel's magic and something else almost familiar..."
"I have the magic of your former lover and of your daughter," Helena replied evenly, looking at him with clear eyes. "I am not of her flesh, however, so I don't think I could call you Grandfather with any accuracy."
If anything, that made Loki blanch.
"I think Darcy would call this a cookie emergency," Steve said in the silence. "How about we all get some food in the kitchen?"
"Excellent idea," Helena replied, expression brightening. "I have memories of such things but haven't tasted one for myself."
Before anyone else could move, they all seemed to shift from the gym to the kitchen in the blink of an eye. Loki was still deathly pale, but now his eyes were wide with terror. Natasha looked vaguely ill, a hand over her stomach. Sif lost her footing and fell to the floor, Steve narrowly missing catching her.
Helena moved around the kitchen, rapidly going through the pantry and cabinets to hunt down any cookies that might have been stashed away. The other four looked at each other, surprised, and arranged themselves around the table by the time she had returned with a bakery box, three bags of store bought cookies and the tub of cookies and cream ice cream from the freezer. She had an expression on her face of sheer delight, making her seem like a very young child being allowed to eat cookies and candy on Halloween.
Natasha remembered that she was created about a year ago, even if she had an adult's body. "I think we could all use an explanation so we can help you," she said, helping Helena deposit the bags onto the table. "You're about a year old?"
"In your years," Helena replied, opening the bakery box. "But time has no meaning in Helheim, and I have never been an infant. Not a proper one as mortals think of it, not as the little one in Sif's womb is."
"So what's this about Thanos?" Natasha prompted as Helena shoved an entire chocolate chip cookie into her mouth.
The cookie seemed to dissolve instantly so that Helena could reply. "It seems to be the tradition of Helheim that all Helenas will learn how best to operate their own magicks on their own. Hel observes, perhaps - Helaine had planned to do that for Hel, at least - but Hel has no interest in seeing me master my magic. So I have found Helaine to do so." She flicked her eyes at Loki, who was frowning in confusion. "My Helaine is the Hel you knew when young, she who taught you the secret ways of Yggdrasil. There had never needed to be a name for her other than Helena and then Hel, so I have named her Helaine, and she no longer exists in that form."
"I think I have a headache," Steve muttered.
Helena reached across the table, physics distorting so that she could touch his forehead with the tips of her fingers. "Be well, soldier," she murmured, and there was a warmth that spread out from Steve across to the others. "All of you, be well. I am not here to harm you. I have promised Natasha that I would not use her as a pawn as Hel did. I will not use any mortals as pawns. I have my own plans for the future, but I will not involve any of you."
"But you're here-" Loki began.
"Because you know of Thanos. Because Hel will not teach me, Helaine never met him, and she no longer exists as separate. I have need to know of him, so I come here to learn. Then I will continue my studies. Likely by seeking out Karnilla in the Shadowed Lands."
Loki covered his face in his hands. "By the Tree," he muttered.
"You really don't know how to talk with humans," Natasha muttered.
"Why? I'm not human."
"This would go so much easier if you were."
Helena cocked her head to the side as if she was listening to something. "Yes. I can see the point," she said finally. "But I do not plan to interfere with mortal lives."
"It would help you speak with the residents of Helheim," Sif pointed out.
"I... I suppose." Helena frowned, suddenly looking like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes that had realized she hadn't known how to do it after all. "I am not trying to be rude, you understand," she said quietly. She lifted her eyes to Natasha. "You are one of her favorites. And you know many things. Ophelia is annoyed that Yelena still holds love for you, even if it isn't the same as it once was. You are the first one I thought of that might have some knowledge of Thanos. And we've spoken before."
"You're different now," Natasha observed.
"Because I am," Helena replied simply. Her gaze swung toward Loki. "You know of Thanos."
Loki looked as though he had bitten into something sour, and spread his hands helplessly. "What do you wish to know? It's been many mortal years since I last had seen him."
"Tell me what you know," Helena said sharply, power inherent in her voice. "I must know what he is, why his touch repulses Hel so."
Steve and Sif may have made choking sounds, and Loki looked incredulous. Natasha was the only one whose expression remained impassive.
"Stick to the facts," Natasha advised Loki in a bland tone. "Too many distractions right around now, and I don't think we want to explore them."
He nodded and took a deep breath as he eyed Steve and Sif. Deciding that it didn't matter what they knew about that time period, he began to speak.
***
In exchange for Loki's tale, Helena agreed to summon Karnilla to Avengers Tower. Though Sif looked vaguely ill at that, she passed it off as morning sickness and stayed close to Steve. "I have heard of her skill," Loki murmured. "She taught my mother, and my mother taught me. Others had the chance to study with her, but I hadn't really. I didn't realize she died."
"Oh, yes," Helena replied in a blithe tone, sketching a circle on the dining room floor in ordinary iodized salt. "Amora killed her."
Loki was nonplussed by that. "I should ask Wanda to view this. She's my student," Loki added as an explanation to Helena.
"If you wish," Helena replied with a shrug. "Is she here now?"
"No, she and her brother are in the city with Sam Wilson," Loki replied. "She'll be sorry she missed meeting Karnilla."
"I can key the circle to you, so that you could summon her at another time to help you instruct your student."
He blinked in surprise at her. "You would do that?"
"Why not?"
"Because your mother wouldn't."
"She delights in needless cruelty," Helena snapped, her calm and indifferent demeanor cracking, bitterness and anger seeping through.
Then the mask slipped back into place, and she was the odd girl that looked far older and more delicate than she really was.
"Then I thank you," Loki murmured, dipping his head in a respectful manner.
Steve, Sif and Natasha wandered away from the dining room after that, leaving the two to talk of magic and differences in summoning rituals. "I don't like this," Steve intoned.
"Bad things happen when the dead come back," Sif said in a warning tone.
"Yeah," Natasha replied in a droll tone. "Sometimes they come back all wrong."
Sif flushed slightly. "I didn't mean that. Your return was obviously not harmful. I meant, there is a price. There is always a price for working with the dead, and we often don't know what full payment is going to be."
"I believe her when she says that she won't hurt us."
"But will Hel?" Steve asked quietly.
Natasha sighed then. "That, I really don't know."
***
You like them, Helaine murmured with a pleased smile.
"As people, not as tools," Helena said, standing on the edge of Yggdrasil's branch to look out over the galaxy. She smiled at the sight, at the quiet beauty of the stars twinkling in the void.
I do recognize the difference in how you see them, Helaine replied, a smile in her voice. He's different now. Your grandfather.
"What was he like then?"
He was an arrogant boy, so sure he knew everything. He's grown. Now he knows he doesn't, and it's changed him. It tempered the bitterness and rage inside him. Helaine sounded almost wistful. If this version of Loki had been Hel's father, perhaps she would not have been so cruel to you. Perhaps she would be kinder, and an actual mother.
"It doesn't matter now. I have you. Those mortals were interesting. I think I would like visiting them more often. I can see why Hel did, though she pushed and pulled them to get what she wanted. I won't do such a thing."
Don't make promises you can't keep. You don't know that you won't.
Helena sighed at Helaine's reasonable tone. "I don't plan on it. I can promise that much."
Once you're Hel, and the current Hel had been absorbed into you...
"I think when that happens," Helena began slowly, "I will be able to take just her magic and nothing else. Power without soul. What makes her the way she is will be lost, and that will be just as well for the universe. I won't be her, and I won't have her in my mind."
Then summon Karnilla again. Or if she is busy on the mortal plane with Loki, call forth another teacher that would work with you.
"Melampus of Pylos and Väinämöinen, you said." Helena could feel Helaine's assent. "And Hel will summon me soon, to pass along the paramour she despises. I wonder what excuse she will use to do it. I wonder if she expects me to bed him."
What you do is your own choice.
"You didn't despise my grandfather."
No, I did not, Helaine all but purred in satisfaction.
"Would the Titan be a worthy ally?"
He worships death, my dear. All he wants is to court Lady Death in all her glory. He would gift her the universe if she asked for it, with the deaths of thousands of worlds as a bride's gift, if only to woo her.
Helena found herself smiling widely, though she wasn't entirely sure why. But in an instant she was on the tiny satellite where Thanos was sitting on his throne, contemplating which world he would want to conquer next. He bored easily, she could tell, and her sudden appearance in front of him made him sit up and take notice.
"State your business," he boomed, eyes narrowing at her.
She laughed, a bright and cheerful sound. "Oh, Thanos. How pedestrian."
"Who are you?"
"Not any better. I am my mother's daughter."
He rose from his throne, possibly intending to intimidate her. But she giggled and shook her head. "No, no, no. This is not how you get someone to speak with you. No wonder my mother has no interest in you."
That brought him up short, just as she knew it would. "Your mother," he echoed.
"Queen Hel of Helheim. She's not very interested in you at all. I was wondering why, and wanted to see the man that would be my stepfather."
Thanos frowned at her. "I have children enough."
"None of your flesh and blood." Just as she wasn't of Hel's flesh and blood either, just of her magic and will. Helena shrugged. "Hel would not wish to bear you children anyway. She loathes being touched in any way."
"I touch her all the time."
"And then she scours herself clean with fire and magic." Helaine had been quite up front on that detail, and had thought it sad. "I think she hopes to pawn you off to me."
Perhaps Helena should have spared a thought for Thanos' feelings before putting the truth out there so baldly. He could tell she wasn't lying, and started to roar with fury.
"You are not my lady love," Thanos snarled.
"No, I am not. I'm a child. That's rather sick, don't you think?"
"I do not defile children," he roared.
No, he simply rips them apart, kills their families, and has them become trained assassins to kill in his name, Helaine scoffed. Not defiling their innocence at all.
Helena knew better than to laugh, even though she sorely wanted to. Instead, she nodded at Thanos with a grave expression. "I think she seeks to harm us."
"You are her daughter."
"She finds me lacking. She has no interest in you in a romantic sense. There must be something she wanted from you." His jaw clenched, telling her that yes, they had discussed something. She held up a hand. "You don't have to tell me. I don't care what it is." He would let it slip sooner or later, and she could possibly get it for herself before Hel could. And once she did, Thanos would never believe that Hel hadn't stolen it.
"I would have burned the entire galaxy in her name," Thanos murmured.
"Ultimately, that doesn't impress her."
He roared in disappointment and began to pace in an agitated manner across his asteroid. Helena didn't move or blink, but rocks around her crumbled and fell. She could see a gauntlet on his throne, golden and with empty sockets on the top for six stones. The gauntlet itself radiated a certain power, and she was sure that it had to be the item that Hel was looking for. She was greedy for power, and this likely was an object able to harness it.
"What would impress her?" Thanos asked finally, his voice sounding small and almost pathetic.
"If I knew, maybe I could get her to care for me, too," Helena replied gently. "It's a clawing feeling, isn't it?" He stared at her, entire body tight with tension. She pushed on, stepping closer, gaze locked to his. "An emptiness inside, like something is missing. Like if only I could do something worthy enough, maybe she could love me. Maybe she could want me. If I was worth her time, if I was good enough..."
"But it's never good enough, is it?"
"I'm not sure it is."
Thanos let out a sigh, a discontent sound. Closer to the throne, Helena could feel the tenor of the gauntlet's magical signature. She could find it again no matter where or when in space it was, and she would be able to track down the stones that fit into the sockets.
"I don't see my lady as a mother."
Helena gave him a mirthless smile. "She isn't much of one. I'm alone most of the time."
"I think of myself as a good father. Perhaps you would like to meet my children," he offered, extending a hand to her.
She hesitated visibly, then took it. "I could use a friend."
He nodded at her. "A friend," he acknowledged.
Soon enough, she would have the gauntlet, and then the stones. Once she had trained with Karnilla, Melampus of Pylos and Väinämöinen, then Hel would meet her fate.
It almost made Helena smile, just thinking about it.
The End