Misery Inspires, 2/2. Loki/Natasha
Title: Misery Inspires
Series: #3 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'm starting to like playing around in the Marvel movieverse. Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations as well.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Mentions knife fighting and blood from the prior story.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Everyone assumed that Loki was after Jane and her research. Everyone assumed that travel between worlds without the Bifrost was too difficult.
Everyone was wrong.
Previous chapter: One - Can the bridges go elsewhere?
Two - "Keep Her Safe."
Jane sighed as her stomach rumbled. At first, she had protested leaving the lab and the half-finished layout of the mechanism that should be able to create the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Now, it was painfully obvious that she had missed both breakfast and lunch. "I miss Darcy. Why couldn't they just create a job for her so she can still help me? I forget about all these regular things like eating and sleeping." She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked over at Clint, who was her SHIELD escort for the day. "Don't you think you could pull some strings and get her hired?"
"I'm pretty sure my word doesn't count for much," he said, leading her out of Stark Tower. "It might just get circular-filed."
Snorting, she shook her head. "If they think I'm important enough to hide in some nondescript corner of the world to do some research, then I should be able to rate a personal assistant to make sure I actually survive long enough to finish this project."
Clint chuckled and walked toward the armored car that would take them to a SHIELD-approved restaurant. Normally Bruce would have made something for her eat in a relatively clean corner of the lab, but he was out of the tower at the moment. Fandral had mentioned that he found her dedication impressive, and Clint had understood that to mean Jane had buried herself in her work. Not having much else to do, he had taken it upon himself to extract the scientist to get her fed and let her air out her brain. He had thought it was odd that Natasha was nowhere around, but if Loki had the annoying tendency of showing up wherever she did, it was possibly a good stance for the assassin to take.
He didn't know what was going on with the two of them. Natasha was alternately terrified and assured that she had some kind of hold over Loki. She wouldn't ask Clint for help if she could avoid it; she was stubbornly self reliant and overly protective of him. He knew she didn't want to trigger any flashbacks, but Clint would deal with those if they came without complaint. It was part of the price for the work that he did, and it wouldn't be the first time he had to deal with the fallout of trauma. Then again, perhaps Natasha didn't want to involve him because his mind had been unmade. He had never asked about the details of the Red Room's behavioral program, though he knew it involved brainwashing and personality overlays. Natasha had been declared free of triggers and buried code words by several SHIELD experts, but Clint couldn't help but wonder if she was as unaffected by it as she pretended to be. Sometimes he could forget aspects of her history, but at other times they were all too salient and difficult to ignore.
Jane enjoyed the hole in the wall establishment that was one of Clint's favorites. They talked about random things, and she told him a little about what she had seen in Asgard during her visit months before. It sounded like some kind of archaic fantasy land, which must have been quite the thing to see. His archery skill would have been greatly appreciated there.
It was toward the end of dinner where Clint felt his hackles rise. He didn't know what it was, but something had him suddenly on alert. He trusted that instinct; it was the same one that had him reacting to the Tesseract before the portal opened.
"Hey, let's get you back to the lab," he told Jane with a smile during a natural pause in their conversation. "I'm sure now that you've had a break and some actual food, you can figure out whatever it is that you're missing."
"I won't bore you with the details," Jane teased, rising as he threw some money down on the table. There was the sensation of being watched, but there was no one obvious in the restaurant staring at them. The sensation persisted, and the only person who likely had interest in what Jane was doing could become invisible with a spell. Clint's bow was still in the tower, as it was fairly conspicuous on the street when he was supposed to be a civilian. He didn't even have a service weapon with him. Smiling at Jane, Clint suppressed the urge to swear.
Natasha was outside the restaurant, leaning against the wall. She didn't quite look at Clint, her expression impassive. "Hurry back," she said softly. He noticed that one hand was clenched into a fist, and there was tension in her spine. It didn't quite look right, but he wasn't about to question her with Jane walking back to the armored car.
Natasha didn't respond to his lofted eyebrow, which wasn't like her at all. The sense of wrongness down his spine intensified, and Clint wanted to grab Natasha and shake her. Damn that stoic silence. Sometimes that made it more difficult to figure out what was going on.
"Don't let him get her," she said, voice sharper now. Jane was in the process of opening the side door to the car, and she turned to look at Clint and Natasha in confusion. Clint waved at her to indicate she should sit inside, and that he would be right there. "She's the important one right now, you know that."
The cadence in her voice was off. Her stance wasn't exactly the same, but it was close. "Loki."
Natasha's lips compressed into a thin line. Another expression that didn't seem to sit on her face just right, though he couldn't have pointed to anything in particular that told him that. His chest felt tight, as if he was being tugged in too many different directions.
"Keep her safe," she said, nodding toward Jane.
There were no problems getting Jane to Stark Tower. Clint couldn't reach Natasha on her cell phone, and no one at SHIELD knew where she was. She wasn't currently on any assignments, as she had handed off the Hydra search to junior agents. She should have been readily available for contact. She never avoided Clint when he needed to talk to her, never.
What kind of game was Loki playing?
***
Natasha had no idea what Clint was talking about when he approached her about the cryptic comments. "I was meeting with Fury in the Dead Room," she told him, eyebrow raised. The Dead Room blocked all telecommunications signals, and it had been built with the hopes that the same shielding could work on magic or telepathic powers. "He wanted to know about my progress with Loki."
Clint let out a slow, steady breath. "He's playing us," he said after a moment. He summarized what had happened the day before, and Natasha remained silent, processing what he was saying. "Tash?" he asked, voice soft. "I know you're you. I know it, but there were times when he came pretty damn close."
"Have you told Fury?"
"My meeting with him is this afternoon."
"Good. I got new information about a Hydra lab yesterday afternoon."
"From Loki."
Nodding, Natasha remained silent. Clint starting pacing with jerky steps, and she resisted the urge to grab him. He needed to work through his thoughts, and she had to trust that he would back off if it triggered any flashbacks of Loki's mind control. "Where is it?" Clint asked finally.
"Bern."
Clint didn't stop his pacing, turning over thoughts in his mind. Natasha didn't rush him, and thought about how Loki had been waiting for her when she left the helicarrier. Her invisible scars had ached terribly, and the one visible scar he had given her gave her a jolt of pleasure when she approached him. He had been charming and reasonable-sounding, aggrieved at the thought that Hydra was recruiting agents by invoking his name. "The filthy creatures have nothing to do with me," he had said, sounding irritated. "If I build up a following, I can command better minds than those." At the time, she had remained silent and had taken the information to look into.
"He warned me to look after Jane and sends you far away from New York. I don't like it."
"The rest of you are concentrated here," she replied, referring to the Avengers and the Asgardians. "We all have a job to do, and it'll get done."
"He's isolating you. Why?"
I already have visited those I care to.
Could there be some other purpose in mind other than manipulating them or making them into fools? Could Loki actually be trying to help them?
"I'm not sure," Natasha told him after a moment. She wasn't willing to raise the possibility of a helpful Loki just yet. It could be wishful thinking. Her job would be easier then, and if Loki was genuine she wouldn't have to constantly be on guard.
"The Hydra agents think Loki will lead them toward global dominance," Clint continued. "It's a recruiting tactic, at least. The preliminary report indicates that they're developing Level Two technology." He smiled grimly at Natasha's blink of surprise. "I may have looked into it, even without the proper clearance level."
"May have," Natasha echoed, lips quirking slightly.
"They still don't check the air vents very well," he said with a careless shrug.
Natasha snickered. "Their own fault, then. They should have expected that."
Clint's expression sobered. "Level Two, Tash. And if Loki's involved at all..."
"I'll find out."
"Do you think you can manipulate it out of him?" he asked, curious.
"He may hold me in high enough regard to answer."
Crossing his arms, Clint frowned. "That's an answer that sounds like him."
She briefly thought of her scars, which she hadn't shown anyone. Was Loki working his way into her mind? Or was it more that she was learning to think the way he did?
"I'll do what it takes to find out."
He sighed at her determined expression. "That's what I'm afraid of."
***
Determined to have the upper hand for a change, Natasha laid out Loki's appearances on a map and looked for a pattern. They all seemed to center around midtown Manhattan. While that could be explained away by Stark Tower or her choice of safe house, it could also be that Loki had his own base of operations in the area. That would be a perfect way to keep watch over their movements and track what Jane was doing. The moment her lab equipment was moved out of Stark Tower, he would know and pounce.
She started walking throughout the entire area, trying to see it from Loki's point of view. Midtown was teeming with mortals walking to and fro, scurrying about to get on with their lives and their usual daily concerns. The flow of the crowds conferred anonymity, which he would like right now. Dressed in a suit and without any obvious magic at work, he could blend in and appear like any other professional from a distance. Most of Midtown consisted of businesses, office buildings, tourist attractions and the occasional park. Locals lived in the upper stories of the high rises, but living in a small apartment didn't seem Loki's style. He would want something grand, spacious and imposing. It would have to reflect his personality, and the average apartment in Manhattan wouldn't cut it.
Natasha got herself a Starbucks latte and sat down across the street at a table outside of Bryant Park. There were no good places to hide in Midtown, which is why she had went a little farther afield for her own safe house. Loki might like Soho or TriBeCa perhaps, but it wouldn't be very convenient to track Stark Tower.
She sipped and thought about what she knew and what she thought she knew about Loki. There was a larger plan at work, that was for certain. No one wanted the Einstein-Rosen bridge to fall into his hands, which seemed to be his objective. It would be an easy way to move from place to place, world to world. Loki could invade Asgard if he truly wanted to. Sif and the Warriors Three were on Midgard to help protect Jane and the developing bridge, but the rest of Asgard was on high alert for an invasion.
For the moment, Loki seemed almost too helpful, drawing her away from Jane and Stark Tower. He either saw her as useless to protect Jane or had something different in mind waiting for her. Eyes dropping to her wrists, Natasha turned over their fight in her mind. He had referred to their sparring as play, and the sex had been a different kind of play. Loki had certainly enjoyed that, though it wasn't quite the same as physical desire that he had in mind. Sex might play a role in it, but his plans involved her in an entirely different way.
Natasha finished her latte and headed for the Upper West Side. Lincoln Center seemed to be more in keeping with Loki's sensibilities. Higher end restaurants, theater, art and more dramatic options for living areas. The neighborhood wasn't that far away, so tracking spells were a possibility. It could be how he kept finding her even when she thought she was alone.
As Natasha crossed into Columbus Circle, she thought she got a flash of ink-black hair and a tailored suit out of the corner of her eye. The hair or suit alone wouldn't have made her stop and turn, but her L-shaped scar throbbed. She turned and saw Loki striding toward the entrance to Central Park, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of the suit jacket. That had been the motion had caught her eye.
Following him at a distance, she took note of what he looked at, trying to piece together what mattered to him. It was getting close to lunch hour, and there were tourists and families milling about near the park. Loki avoided the horse drawn carriages and headed straight into the park, directly going for the large boulders that had been left behind when the Ice Age glaciers had receded millennia ago. Natasha could see two college students sitting on the one that was nearest to the Columbus Circle entrance of the Park, Fordham University's insignia clearly visible on their sweatshirts. One had a text in his lap, the other looked bored. Both took one look at Loki as he approached and hastily scrambled off of the boulder.
The startled look on Loki's face when Natasha clambered up after him was priceless.
"You truly are a spider, are you not?" he asked, voice level.
"It's peaceful here," she replied, not bothering to answer his question.
"This is my place to sit, little spider," Loki said, lip curling in distaste. "Go elsewhere."
"Like Bern?" she couldn't help but ask.
"It's elsewhere."
"So are many other places."
Loki fell silent, but Natasha could tolerate this. She sat beside him, taking in the spring weather. It was still chilly, but the sun was out and the temperatures were already starting to rise. Soon the usual NYC humidity and heat would begin. As an ice giant, would Loki be discomfited with that? Or did his Asgardian appearance mean that he wasn't as intolerant to heat as she supposed that he was?
He broke first, nodding at the crowds heading deeper into Central Park. "These mortals, they have no idea what damage I could do to them."
No, they didn't. Natasha's job was to make sure they never would.
Holding his palm flat in front of him, Loki pursed his lips. A small sphere began to materialize, hovering an inch above his skin. "I could take this energy, destroy these buildings, tear up the trees, hurl the boulders into the crowds. I could."
Natasha reached for the sphere, but he abruptly closed his hand into a fist, dissipating it. "You could," she agreed. "But you won't."
"Are you that sure?"
"You wouldn't be here sitting and talking with me."
The L-shaped scar tugged at her, but Natasha couldn't tell why. Loki's lips stretched into a slight smile, and she couldn't interpret his expression at all. "There is so much you don't know, little spider," Loki said, voice low and sounding seductive. "So much I could show you..." His fingers trailed down the length of one arm, and now his expression looked hopeful. It was the look of someone that wanted her romantic interest, wishing she felt the same.
Leaning in close, Natasha's lips hovered two inches from his. "Then show me."
Loki chuckled. "Not just yet. There's still much to do here."
"Leave Jane alone."
"She's not your concern, is she?" Loki taunted.
"No. You've been giving me locations to find Hydra." She shifted her position slightly so that her arms no longer propped her up on the boulder. Natasha laid her hand on his knee. "For your benefit, of course."
"If they were not your concern, what would you be doing?" he asked, curious.
"Other missions."
"Did you want more than that?"
"There was never any point," she admitted, shrugging with one shoulder. She kept her hand on his knee, her body still turned toward his. "It was always about my very particular skill set. That was what I knew."
She had been so young when the Red Room got her, and any girlish dreams had been excised ruthlessly within months of her arrival. Natasha couldn't remember anything other than the drive to succeed, to best the other girls in the program, to be the one they picked first for ops. When the programming failed and she realized what the ops actually were, she had fallen back on what she knew best. She hadn't been ordinary, and without the programming didn't know how to pretend to be. As a mercenary, coming across SHIELD's radar, there hadn't been time to dream of anything different. It was only when Clint asked what she really wanted that she even started thinking she could balance the scales in some way.
"And sometimes, all you know is useless," Loki murmured, his hand falling over hers on his knee. "All you have is misery left in your wake."
"What are your regrets, then?" Natasha asked.
Loki chuckled. "Oh, there are far too many, little spider. Far too many." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. "You cannot win this game."
"It's not a game."
"It always is. That's one truth I can give you."
Natasha watched as he withdrew from the boulder. "You're not surprised I found you today," she called as he hit the ground.
"I would be most disappointed if you didn't find me." Loki gave her an almost manic grin, all sharp teeth and glittering eyes. "Enjoy Bern. They lack imagination, the lot of them, and I would rather they didn't use my name in vain."
"You don't like their brand of worship?" she asked, a teasing lilt to her voice.
Loki smirked. "There is no worship for others in Hydra. If they did wish to serve me, then we would not be speaking of them right now."
That sounded like the Loki she knew. "Where are you going now?"
"Lunch. I'd invite you, but I'm certain you have prior commitments to attend to. I would not keep you from your comrades now."
That implied that he would at some point, that he had plans for her.
Somehow, Natasha was certain she wouldn't like them at all.
***
Against Clint's wishes, Natasha went to Bern. She worked her way into the ranks and determined the location of several other weapons development labs across Europe. It was irritating how often they name dropped Loki, and the scar on her abdomen seemed to twist and burn. She took pleasure in ripping apart the labs and destroying the command structure, letting SHIELD techs look at the weapons. It was indeed similar to Level Two technology that SHIELD had been developing. Natasha wasn't blind to the levels of duplicity inherent in any government agency, but she hadn't been quite so disillusioned as Steve Rogers had been when he discovered it. She mostly chalked it up to not having a high enough clearance level.
She felt more like herself when she returned to New York from Bern. Clint was glad she had returned intact, with no further Loki sightings. Fury was having him oversee a marksmanship class for some junior agents, as the usual instructor was on sick leave. "Hey, check in on Jane for me today, will you?" he asked. "I'll be babysitting the juniors and hoping they don't shoot each other out of spite."
"No, you're hoping they will," she corrected with a smirk. "Then no one will ever have you take over the class again."
"They'll ask you if I can't," Clint replied, laughing outright at her disgruntled look.
Thor was as effusive as always when Natasha arrived at Stark Tower. He was sitting with the Warriors Three watching children's television while Sif and Jane went shopping. "A Girl's Day, my lady love called it. She had been feeling tired and somewhat confined, so Sif suggested another break from her calculations. It was most fortuitous that SHIELD saw fit to send another bodyguard for Jane when Hawkeye could not accompany them. I understand my brother had made some remarks that were not seemly," Thor continued, not noticing the brief flash of uncertainty in Natasha's expression.
No one else had been assigned to Jane Foster. Her lab, yes. Everyday outings, no. There were eyes and ears on the ground, mostly in the form of new agents and trainees getting their stakeout experience, but no one up close and accompanying her anywhere.
Fear coiled in her gut even as she smiled at Thor and his friends. There was no need to worry them if she was wrong, and it was pleasant to have the four of them around.
Ultimately, Jane returned with Sif and another raven-haired woman. The presumed agent had straight dark hair falling to shoulder length, pale white skin and vivid green eyes. Her teeth were sharp as she smiled at Jane and assisted with carrying shopping bags, and her eyes darted everywhere. That befitted a bodyguard, and Sif did the same thing. The presumed agent's entire expression lit up when she saw Natasha standing there with Thor and the Warriors Three. "Ah. There you are."
A shiver rolled down Natasha's spine and her wrists twinged something fierce in sympathy. It occurred to her that perhaps Clint felt a similar twinge in his chest whenever magic or Loki was involved, though it was difficult to tell. He often kept his bow strap slung across his chest, and he never let that go if he could help it.
The woman moved the way Natasha did, with sinuous but spare motions and with intense focus. Somehow, Natasha suspected that she would wield a knife rather well, and have a keen sense of how to use a pistol or the Widow's Bites. Dammit, Loki had been studying her like a lab specimen.
"Agent Laura of Arbitell, it is as you have said," Sif told the raven-haired woman. "SHIELD is set to protect the Lady Foster as she proceeds in her studies."
Laura smiled and handed the bags over to Jane, who thanked her absently. "Well," she said, voice melodious and calming, "I'm sure with as much stress as Dr. Foster has been under lately, it was good to go out for a bit." She gave Natasha a conspiratorial wink. "Lunch at the mall and some dress suits for when she makes a formal announcement about her work. From what I understand, it's Nobel Prize worthy."
Damn, Loki was good. He almost sounded like one of the junior agents that Clint was currently babysitting. Had he set that in motion?
Natasha gave them all a polite smile. "I'm sure it is. I'd be more worried about godlike beings harming her because of who she associates with."
Laura frowned slightly. "Why would you assume that?"
"We're mortal and very breakable," Natasha returned flatly. Any agent at SHIELD sent to work with Jane would have known that. "Do you know how many died in the Battle of New York?"
"Well, no..."
"Where are you based?" Natasha asked, voice a tad sharp. Sif looked at her in reproach, and Thor was visibly confused by her response.
"The Carrier, of course."
"Which section?" Natasha pressed.
A small tic at the corner of Laura's mouth. It almost seemed like a small smile, but Natasha couldn't be sure. Her heart was pounding harder than she would have liked, and she could recall Loki's weight above her and his magic working beneath her skin. Would Loki pull on invisible magic strings and move her like a marionette, making and unmaking her with reckless abandon?
The thought terrified her. Her control had been hard won, and she intended to keep it.
"You don't trust me, do you?" Laura asked, that melodious voice sounding a little sad.
"If you were truly stationed on the Carrier, you could snap those answers immediately. No hedging, no doubts. Everyone knows about the devastation that day, and why we have to remain on alert for it. There's no telling what Loki plans for this realm, and we don't mean to let him have it." Her eyes bored into Loki's, and she wondered if he even cared about what had happened. He hadn't seemed to care about anything at the time, and when he was bound and magically gagged with some sort of tech from Asgard he certainly didn't like any of them. If anything, he had seemed resentful at getting caught.
"Good to keep in mind," Laura murmured, extending palms up in a placating gesture.
Natasha paused. "You don't have an answer for me, do you, Loki?"
Laura's smile was fully Loki's. "How did you recognize me?"
"You lied, but you don't know enough to really flesh out the lie for those that know what we're talking about."
Sif immediately moved to push a confused Jane behind her. Thor shot to his feet and looked ready to summon Mjolnir, and the Warriors Three were about to raise their own weapons. "What's going on?" Jane asked, voice rising in irritation and fear. Apparently, she had been getting along with Laura pretty well while shopping.
Before anything else could happen, Loki dropped the glamour covering him. He was still in ordinary human clothing, his hair long and straight. The feminine cut of the suit didn't sit right on his spindly masculine form, but no one seemed to notice that detail. No scepter was in sight, but Natasha had to presume that he was carrying it. She couldn't afford to think he was defenseless. His eyes were on Natasha only, and that same razor sharp smile was still on his face. It was disconcerting.
"You try so hard, little spider. It's amusing to watch you dance."
"Is that part of the game?" she asked, eyebrow raised and voice remaining even. "A crazed tyrant looking for people to twist to his aims?" He still smiled at her as if he could guess that her heart beat triple time, that she was actually nervous around him, if only because he was utterly batshit crazy by any definition that she could use.
There was a manic glint in his eyes. It had to be a trap, some sign that she had missed so that she had fallen for whatever play he had in mind. This wasn't the first time she had to work from a defenseless position, but the other times she had at least known what the rules were. Loki kept changing them on the fly.
Of course, that was possibly the point. Plot and counterplot, doubling back to the beginning to start over again. Every other move was a feint, testing her ability to keep up.
It all fell into place as he grabbed her. This was just like being back in the Red Room.
As she twisted in his grasp, reality shimmered around them. Natasha could hear the others' shouts, but it was warped and subdued somehow, as if she was hearing them through a tunnel. Loki laughed, a crazed edge to it, and she saw the world twist into convoluted shapes around them. "You don't need her technology," Natasha accused him, eyes narrowing to slits. "You can make portals any time you like." It didn't even look like Loki was expending as much energy as Thor had said it should.
Loki laughed harder. "But they can't," he chortled, pulling her even closer and stepping between, further into the twisting ether around them. "They can't, they can't, and I won't let them have it easy. You should understand that much by now."
Rage could be a weapon. It could also blind and harm its wielder. One of the first lessons of the Red Room, hard won and used often.
Natasha's nerves fell away in an instant, and she merely stared at Loki as he laughed. If she treated him like one of her old instructors, she could survive this. They had worked hard to forge her into a weapon, to create someone of subtlety and deadly accuracy. As much as she had been trying to plan around him, she had been reacting. Even the difficult missions with SHIELD hadn't taxed her too much, and she had grown soft and weak with all of their easy tasks.
She grasped his throat, startling him as he strode through the twisting mass of tangled reality around them. "Where are you taking me?" There was no point in asking why; she likely wouldn't get a straight answer anyway. If she knew where, perhaps she could prepare herself in some way, ensure that her mind or body wouldn't shatter.
He grinned and simply gathered a fistful of her hair and pulled. She refused to let go, and if anything squeezed tighter. She doubted he could withstand a tracheal compression for very long; Jotun and Asgardians still had to breathe sometime. "I'm taking you where you belong," he rasped loudly, lips still pulled back in a rictus grin.
And then he stepped through reality, to a place she didn't recognize at all. The walls were glittering ice, the furniture elaborately wrought in silver or platinum, furs and throw rugs everywhere. Taper candles and a roaring fire threw off light, and there were shelves with leather bound books, scrolls and ornate boxes. A table to the side held ink pots and quills, rolled scrolls and parchment, more stacks of books.
Loki had brought her to his hideaway. His home.
Numb, Natasha let go of him and looked around in stunned confusion. When she looked back at him, he watched her as if she was a caged animal. Perhaps he saw her that way. There was no point in attacking him; the portal behind him was closed, and she saw no other exit. She could only come and go at his whim.
The manic grin was back, and his eyes glittered in that crazed, desperate way she was coming to associate with him. She had somehow fucked up one of his plans, but he was willing to make do and change them as he went. Loki sketched a slight, mocking bow, and she inclined her head toward him. It couldn't hurt to play along.
"Welcome home, little spider."
The End
Series: #3 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'm starting to like playing around in the Marvel movieverse. Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations as well.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Mentions knife fighting and blood from the prior story.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Everyone assumed that Loki was after Jane and her research. Everyone assumed that travel between worlds without the Bifrost was too difficult.
Everyone was wrong.
Previous chapter: One - Can the bridges go elsewhere?
Two - "Keep Her Safe."
Jane sighed as her stomach rumbled. At first, she had protested leaving the lab and the half-finished layout of the mechanism that should be able to create the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Now, it was painfully obvious that she had missed both breakfast and lunch. "I miss Darcy. Why couldn't they just create a job for her so she can still help me? I forget about all these regular things like eating and sleeping." She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked over at Clint, who was her SHIELD escort for the day. "Don't you think you could pull some strings and get her hired?"
"I'm pretty sure my word doesn't count for much," he said, leading her out of Stark Tower. "It might just get circular-filed."
Snorting, she shook her head. "If they think I'm important enough to hide in some nondescript corner of the world to do some research, then I should be able to rate a personal assistant to make sure I actually survive long enough to finish this project."
Clint chuckled and walked toward the armored car that would take them to a SHIELD-approved restaurant. Normally Bruce would have made something for her eat in a relatively clean corner of the lab, but he was out of the tower at the moment. Fandral had mentioned that he found her dedication impressive, and Clint had understood that to mean Jane had buried herself in her work. Not having much else to do, he had taken it upon himself to extract the scientist to get her fed and let her air out her brain. He had thought it was odd that Natasha was nowhere around, but if Loki had the annoying tendency of showing up wherever she did, it was possibly a good stance for the assassin to take.
He didn't know what was going on with the two of them. Natasha was alternately terrified and assured that she had some kind of hold over Loki. She wouldn't ask Clint for help if she could avoid it; she was stubbornly self reliant and overly protective of him. He knew she didn't want to trigger any flashbacks, but Clint would deal with those if they came without complaint. It was part of the price for the work that he did, and it wouldn't be the first time he had to deal with the fallout of trauma. Then again, perhaps Natasha didn't want to involve him because his mind had been unmade. He had never asked about the details of the Red Room's behavioral program, though he knew it involved brainwashing and personality overlays. Natasha had been declared free of triggers and buried code words by several SHIELD experts, but Clint couldn't help but wonder if she was as unaffected by it as she pretended to be. Sometimes he could forget aspects of her history, but at other times they were all too salient and difficult to ignore.
Jane enjoyed the hole in the wall establishment that was one of Clint's favorites. They talked about random things, and she told him a little about what she had seen in Asgard during her visit months before. It sounded like some kind of archaic fantasy land, which must have been quite the thing to see. His archery skill would have been greatly appreciated there.
It was toward the end of dinner where Clint felt his hackles rise. He didn't know what it was, but something had him suddenly on alert. He trusted that instinct; it was the same one that had him reacting to the Tesseract before the portal opened.
"Hey, let's get you back to the lab," he told Jane with a smile during a natural pause in their conversation. "I'm sure now that you've had a break and some actual food, you can figure out whatever it is that you're missing."
"I won't bore you with the details," Jane teased, rising as he threw some money down on the table. There was the sensation of being watched, but there was no one obvious in the restaurant staring at them. The sensation persisted, and the only person who likely had interest in what Jane was doing could become invisible with a spell. Clint's bow was still in the tower, as it was fairly conspicuous on the street when he was supposed to be a civilian. He didn't even have a service weapon with him. Smiling at Jane, Clint suppressed the urge to swear.
Natasha was outside the restaurant, leaning against the wall. She didn't quite look at Clint, her expression impassive. "Hurry back," she said softly. He noticed that one hand was clenched into a fist, and there was tension in her spine. It didn't quite look right, but he wasn't about to question her with Jane walking back to the armored car.
Natasha didn't respond to his lofted eyebrow, which wasn't like her at all. The sense of wrongness down his spine intensified, and Clint wanted to grab Natasha and shake her. Damn that stoic silence. Sometimes that made it more difficult to figure out what was going on.
"Don't let him get her," she said, voice sharper now. Jane was in the process of opening the side door to the car, and she turned to look at Clint and Natasha in confusion. Clint waved at her to indicate she should sit inside, and that he would be right there. "She's the important one right now, you know that."
The cadence in her voice was off. Her stance wasn't exactly the same, but it was close. "Loki."
Natasha's lips compressed into a thin line. Another expression that didn't seem to sit on her face just right, though he couldn't have pointed to anything in particular that told him that. His chest felt tight, as if he was being tugged in too many different directions.
"Keep her safe," she said, nodding toward Jane.
There were no problems getting Jane to Stark Tower. Clint couldn't reach Natasha on her cell phone, and no one at SHIELD knew where she was. She wasn't currently on any assignments, as she had handed off the Hydra search to junior agents. She should have been readily available for contact. She never avoided Clint when he needed to talk to her, never.
What kind of game was Loki playing?
***
Natasha had no idea what Clint was talking about when he approached her about the cryptic comments. "I was meeting with Fury in the Dead Room," she told him, eyebrow raised. The Dead Room blocked all telecommunications signals, and it had been built with the hopes that the same shielding could work on magic or telepathic powers. "He wanted to know about my progress with Loki."
Clint let out a slow, steady breath. "He's playing us," he said after a moment. He summarized what had happened the day before, and Natasha remained silent, processing what he was saying. "Tash?" he asked, voice soft. "I know you're you. I know it, but there were times when he came pretty damn close."
"Have you told Fury?"
"My meeting with him is this afternoon."
"Good. I got new information about a Hydra lab yesterday afternoon."
"From Loki."
Nodding, Natasha remained silent. Clint starting pacing with jerky steps, and she resisted the urge to grab him. He needed to work through his thoughts, and she had to trust that he would back off if it triggered any flashbacks of Loki's mind control. "Where is it?" Clint asked finally.
"Bern."
Clint didn't stop his pacing, turning over thoughts in his mind. Natasha didn't rush him, and thought about how Loki had been waiting for her when she left the helicarrier. Her invisible scars had ached terribly, and the one visible scar he had given her gave her a jolt of pleasure when she approached him. He had been charming and reasonable-sounding, aggrieved at the thought that Hydra was recruiting agents by invoking his name. "The filthy creatures have nothing to do with me," he had said, sounding irritated. "If I build up a following, I can command better minds than those." At the time, she had remained silent and had taken the information to look into.
"He warned me to look after Jane and sends you far away from New York. I don't like it."
"The rest of you are concentrated here," she replied, referring to the Avengers and the Asgardians. "We all have a job to do, and it'll get done."
"He's isolating you. Why?"
I already have visited those I care to.
Could there be some other purpose in mind other than manipulating them or making them into fools? Could Loki actually be trying to help them?
"I'm not sure," Natasha told him after a moment. She wasn't willing to raise the possibility of a helpful Loki just yet. It could be wishful thinking. Her job would be easier then, and if Loki was genuine she wouldn't have to constantly be on guard.
"The Hydra agents think Loki will lead them toward global dominance," Clint continued. "It's a recruiting tactic, at least. The preliminary report indicates that they're developing Level Two technology." He smiled grimly at Natasha's blink of surprise. "I may have looked into it, even without the proper clearance level."
"May have," Natasha echoed, lips quirking slightly.
"They still don't check the air vents very well," he said with a careless shrug.
Natasha snickered. "Their own fault, then. They should have expected that."
Clint's expression sobered. "Level Two, Tash. And if Loki's involved at all..."
"I'll find out."
"Do you think you can manipulate it out of him?" he asked, curious.
"He may hold me in high enough regard to answer."
Crossing his arms, Clint frowned. "That's an answer that sounds like him."
She briefly thought of her scars, which she hadn't shown anyone. Was Loki working his way into her mind? Or was it more that she was learning to think the way he did?
"I'll do what it takes to find out."
He sighed at her determined expression. "That's what I'm afraid of."
***
Determined to have the upper hand for a change, Natasha laid out Loki's appearances on a map and looked for a pattern. They all seemed to center around midtown Manhattan. While that could be explained away by Stark Tower or her choice of safe house, it could also be that Loki had his own base of operations in the area. That would be a perfect way to keep watch over their movements and track what Jane was doing. The moment her lab equipment was moved out of Stark Tower, he would know and pounce.
She started walking throughout the entire area, trying to see it from Loki's point of view. Midtown was teeming with mortals walking to and fro, scurrying about to get on with their lives and their usual daily concerns. The flow of the crowds conferred anonymity, which he would like right now. Dressed in a suit and without any obvious magic at work, he could blend in and appear like any other professional from a distance. Most of Midtown consisted of businesses, office buildings, tourist attractions and the occasional park. Locals lived in the upper stories of the high rises, but living in a small apartment didn't seem Loki's style. He would want something grand, spacious and imposing. It would have to reflect his personality, and the average apartment in Manhattan wouldn't cut it.
Natasha got herself a Starbucks latte and sat down across the street at a table outside of Bryant Park. There were no good places to hide in Midtown, which is why she had went a little farther afield for her own safe house. Loki might like Soho or TriBeCa perhaps, but it wouldn't be very convenient to track Stark Tower.
She sipped and thought about what she knew and what she thought she knew about Loki. There was a larger plan at work, that was for certain. No one wanted the Einstein-Rosen bridge to fall into his hands, which seemed to be his objective. It would be an easy way to move from place to place, world to world. Loki could invade Asgard if he truly wanted to. Sif and the Warriors Three were on Midgard to help protect Jane and the developing bridge, but the rest of Asgard was on high alert for an invasion.
For the moment, Loki seemed almost too helpful, drawing her away from Jane and Stark Tower. He either saw her as useless to protect Jane or had something different in mind waiting for her. Eyes dropping to her wrists, Natasha turned over their fight in her mind. He had referred to their sparring as play, and the sex had been a different kind of play. Loki had certainly enjoyed that, though it wasn't quite the same as physical desire that he had in mind. Sex might play a role in it, but his plans involved her in an entirely different way.
Natasha finished her latte and headed for the Upper West Side. Lincoln Center seemed to be more in keeping with Loki's sensibilities. Higher end restaurants, theater, art and more dramatic options for living areas. The neighborhood wasn't that far away, so tracking spells were a possibility. It could be how he kept finding her even when she thought she was alone.
As Natasha crossed into Columbus Circle, she thought she got a flash of ink-black hair and a tailored suit out of the corner of her eye. The hair or suit alone wouldn't have made her stop and turn, but her L-shaped scar throbbed. She turned and saw Loki striding toward the entrance to Central Park, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of the suit jacket. That had been the motion had caught her eye.
Following him at a distance, she took note of what he looked at, trying to piece together what mattered to him. It was getting close to lunch hour, and there were tourists and families milling about near the park. Loki avoided the horse drawn carriages and headed straight into the park, directly going for the large boulders that had been left behind when the Ice Age glaciers had receded millennia ago. Natasha could see two college students sitting on the one that was nearest to the Columbus Circle entrance of the Park, Fordham University's insignia clearly visible on their sweatshirts. One had a text in his lap, the other looked bored. Both took one look at Loki as he approached and hastily scrambled off of the boulder.
The startled look on Loki's face when Natasha clambered up after him was priceless.
"You truly are a spider, are you not?" he asked, voice level.
"It's peaceful here," she replied, not bothering to answer his question.
"This is my place to sit, little spider," Loki said, lip curling in distaste. "Go elsewhere."
"Like Bern?" she couldn't help but ask.
"It's elsewhere."
"So are many other places."
Loki fell silent, but Natasha could tolerate this. She sat beside him, taking in the spring weather. It was still chilly, but the sun was out and the temperatures were already starting to rise. Soon the usual NYC humidity and heat would begin. As an ice giant, would Loki be discomfited with that? Or did his Asgardian appearance mean that he wasn't as intolerant to heat as she supposed that he was?
He broke first, nodding at the crowds heading deeper into Central Park. "These mortals, they have no idea what damage I could do to them."
No, they didn't. Natasha's job was to make sure they never would.
Holding his palm flat in front of him, Loki pursed his lips. A small sphere began to materialize, hovering an inch above his skin. "I could take this energy, destroy these buildings, tear up the trees, hurl the boulders into the crowds. I could."
Natasha reached for the sphere, but he abruptly closed his hand into a fist, dissipating it. "You could," she agreed. "But you won't."
"Are you that sure?"
"You wouldn't be here sitting and talking with me."
The L-shaped scar tugged at her, but Natasha couldn't tell why. Loki's lips stretched into a slight smile, and she couldn't interpret his expression at all. "There is so much you don't know, little spider," Loki said, voice low and sounding seductive. "So much I could show you..." His fingers trailed down the length of one arm, and now his expression looked hopeful. It was the look of someone that wanted her romantic interest, wishing she felt the same.
Leaning in close, Natasha's lips hovered two inches from his. "Then show me."
Loki chuckled. "Not just yet. There's still much to do here."
"Leave Jane alone."
"She's not your concern, is she?" Loki taunted.
"No. You've been giving me locations to find Hydra." She shifted her position slightly so that her arms no longer propped her up on the boulder. Natasha laid her hand on his knee. "For your benefit, of course."
"If they were not your concern, what would you be doing?" he asked, curious.
"Other missions."
"Did you want more than that?"
"There was never any point," she admitted, shrugging with one shoulder. She kept her hand on his knee, her body still turned toward his. "It was always about my very particular skill set. That was what I knew."
She had been so young when the Red Room got her, and any girlish dreams had been excised ruthlessly within months of her arrival. Natasha couldn't remember anything other than the drive to succeed, to best the other girls in the program, to be the one they picked first for ops. When the programming failed and she realized what the ops actually were, she had fallen back on what she knew best. She hadn't been ordinary, and without the programming didn't know how to pretend to be. As a mercenary, coming across SHIELD's radar, there hadn't been time to dream of anything different. It was only when Clint asked what she really wanted that she even started thinking she could balance the scales in some way.
"And sometimes, all you know is useless," Loki murmured, his hand falling over hers on his knee. "All you have is misery left in your wake."
"What are your regrets, then?" Natasha asked.
Loki chuckled. "Oh, there are far too many, little spider. Far too many." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. "You cannot win this game."
"It's not a game."
"It always is. That's one truth I can give you."
Natasha watched as he withdrew from the boulder. "You're not surprised I found you today," she called as he hit the ground.
"I would be most disappointed if you didn't find me." Loki gave her an almost manic grin, all sharp teeth and glittering eyes. "Enjoy Bern. They lack imagination, the lot of them, and I would rather they didn't use my name in vain."
"You don't like their brand of worship?" she asked, a teasing lilt to her voice.
Loki smirked. "There is no worship for others in Hydra. If they did wish to serve me, then we would not be speaking of them right now."
That sounded like the Loki she knew. "Where are you going now?"
"Lunch. I'd invite you, but I'm certain you have prior commitments to attend to. I would not keep you from your comrades now."
That implied that he would at some point, that he had plans for her.
Somehow, Natasha was certain she wouldn't like them at all.
***
Against Clint's wishes, Natasha went to Bern. She worked her way into the ranks and determined the location of several other weapons development labs across Europe. It was irritating how often they name dropped Loki, and the scar on her abdomen seemed to twist and burn. She took pleasure in ripping apart the labs and destroying the command structure, letting SHIELD techs look at the weapons. It was indeed similar to Level Two technology that SHIELD had been developing. Natasha wasn't blind to the levels of duplicity inherent in any government agency, but she hadn't been quite so disillusioned as Steve Rogers had been when he discovered it. She mostly chalked it up to not having a high enough clearance level.
She felt more like herself when she returned to New York from Bern. Clint was glad she had returned intact, with no further Loki sightings. Fury was having him oversee a marksmanship class for some junior agents, as the usual instructor was on sick leave. "Hey, check in on Jane for me today, will you?" he asked. "I'll be babysitting the juniors and hoping they don't shoot each other out of spite."
"No, you're hoping they will," she corrected with a smirk. "Then no one will ever have you take over the class again."
"They'll ask you if I can't," Clint replied, laughing outright at her disgruntled look.
Thor was as effusive as always when Natasha arrived at Stark Tower. He was sitting with the Warriors Three watching children's television while Sif and Jane went shopping. "A Girl's Day, my lady love called it. She had been feeling tired and somewhat confined, so Sif suggested another break from her calculations. It was most fortuitous that SHIELD saw fit to send another bodyguard for Jane when Hawkeye could not accompany them. I understand my brother had made some remarks that were not seemly," Thor continued, not noticing the brief flash of uncertainty in Natasha's expression.
No one else had been assigned to Jane Foster. Her lab, yes. Everyday outings, no. There were eyes and ears on the ground, mostly in the form of new agents and trainees getting their stakeout experience, but no one up close and accompanying her anywhere.
Fear coiled in her gut even as she smiled at Thor and his friends. There was no need to worry them if she was wrong, and it was pleasant to have the four of them around.
Ultimately, Jane returned with Sif and another raven-haired woman. The presumed agent had straight dark hair falling to shoulder length, pale white skin and vivid green eyes. Her teeth were sharp as she smiled at Jane and assisted with carrying shopping bags, and her eyes darted everywhere. That befitted a bodyguard, and Sif did the same thing. The presumed agent's entire expression lit up when she saw Natasha standing there with Thor and the Warriors Three. "Ah. There you are."
A shiver rolled down Natasha's spine and her wrists twinged something fierce in sympathy. It occurred to her that perhaps Clint felt a similar twinge in his chest whenever magic or Loki was involved, though it was difficult to tell. He often kept his bow strap slung across his chest, and he never let that go if he could help it.
The woman moved the way Natasha did, with sinuous but spare motions and with intense focus. Somehow, Natasha suspected that she would wield a knife rather well, and have a keen sense of how to use a pistol or the Widow's Bites. Dammit, Loki had been studying her like a lab specimen.
"Agent Laura of Arbitell, it is as you have said," Sif told the raven-haired woman. "SHIELD is set to protect the Lady Foster as she proceeds in her studies."
Laura smiled and handed the bags over to Jane, who thanked her absently. "Well," she said, voice melodious and calming, "I'm sure with as much stress as Dr. Foster has been under lately, it was good to go out for a bit." She gave Natasha a conspiratorial wink. "Lunch at the mall and some dress suits for when she makes a formal announcement about her work. From what I understand, it's Nobel Prize worthy."
Damn, Loki was good. He almost sounded like one of the junior agents that Clint was currently babysitting. Had he set that in motion?
Natasha gave them all a polite smile. "I'm sure it is. I'd be more worried about godlike beings harming her because of who she associates with."
Laura frowned slightly. "Why would you assume that?"
"We're mortal and very breakable," Natasha returned flatly. Any agent at SHIELD sent to work with Jane would have known that. "Do you know how many died in the Battle of New York?"
"Well, no..."
"Where are you based?" Natasha asked, voice a tad sharp. Sif looked at her in reproach, and Thor was visibly confused by her response.
"The Carrier, of course."
"Which section?" Natasha pressed.
A small tic at the corner of Laura's mouth. It almost seemed like a small smile, but Natasha couldn't be sure. Her heart was pounding harder than she would have liked, and she could recall Loki's weight above her and his magic working beneath her skin. Would Loki pull on invisible magic strings and move her like a marionette, making and unmaking her with reckless abandon?
The thought terrified her. Her control had been hard won, and she intended to keep it.
"You don't trust me, do you?" Laura asked, that melodious voice sounding a little sad.
"If you were truly stationed on the Carrier, you could snap those answers immediately. No hedging, no doubts. Everyone knows about the devastation that day, and why we have to remain on alert for it. There's no telling what Loki plans for this realm, and we don't mean to let him have it." Her eyes bored into Loki's, and she wondered if he even cared about what had happened. He hadn't seemed to care about anything at the time, and when he was bound and magically gagged with some sort of tech from Asgard he certainly didn't like any of them. If anything, he had seemed resentful at getting caught.
"Good to keep in mind," Laura murmured, extending palms up in a placating gesture.
Natasha paused. "You don't have an answer for me, do you, Loki?"
Laura's smile was fully Loki's. "How did you recognize me?"
"You lied, but you don't know enough to really flesh out the lie for those that know what we're talking about."
Sif immediately moved to push a confused Jane behind her. Thor shot to his feet and looked ready to summon Mjolnir, and the Warriors Three were about to raise their own weapons. "What's going on?" Jane asked, voice rising in irritation and fear. Apparently, she had been getting along with Laura pretty well while shopping.
Before anything else could happen, Loki dropped the glamour covering him. He was still in ordinary human clothing, his hair long and straight. The feminine cut of the suit didn't sit right on his spindly masculine form, but no one seemed to notice that detail. No scepter was in sight, but Natasha had to presume that he was carrying it. She couldn't afford to think he was defenseless. His eyes were on Natasha only, and that same razor sharp smile was still on his face. It was disconcerting.
"You try so hard, little spider. It's amusing to watch you dance."
"Is that part of the game?" she asked, eyebrow raised and voice remaining even. "A crazed tyrant looking for people to twist to his aims?" He still smiled at her as if he could guess that her heart beat triple time, that she was actually nervous around him, if only because he was utterly batshit crazy by any definition that she could use.
There was a manic glint in his eyes. It had to be a trap, some sign that she had missed so that she had fallen for whatever play he had in mind. This wasn't the first time she had to work from a defenseless position, but the other times she had at least known what the rules were. Loki kept changing them on the fly.
Of course, that was possibly the point. Plot and counterplot, doubling back to the beginning to start over again. Every other move was a feint, testing her ability to keep up.
It all fell into place as he grabbed her. This was just like being back in the Red Room.
As she twisted in his grasp, reality shimmered around them. Natasha could hear the others' shouts, but it was warped and subdued somehow, as if she was hearing them through a tunnel. Loki laughed, a crazed edge to it, and she saw the world twist into convoluted shapes around them. "You don't need her technology," Natasha accused him, eyes narrowing to slits. "You can make portals any time you like." It didn't even look like Loki was expending as much energy as Thor had said it should.
Loki laughed harder. "But they can't," he chortled, pulling her even closer and stepping between, further into the twisting ether around them. "They can't, they can't, and I won't let them have it easy. You should understand that much by now."
Rage could be a weapon. It could also blind and harm its wielder. One of the first lessons of the Red Room, hard won and used often.
Natasha's nerves fell away in an instant, and she merely stared at Loki as he laughed. If she treated him like one of her old instructors, she could survive this. They had worked hard to forge her into a weapon, to create someone of subtlety and deadly accuracy. As much as she had been trying to plan around him, she had been reacting. Even the difficult missions with SHIELD hadn't taxed her too much, and she had grown soft and weak with all of their easy tasks.
She grasped his throat, startling him as he strode through the twisting mass of tangled reality around them. "Where are you taking me?" There was no point in asking why; she likely wouldn't get a straight answer anyway. If she knew where, perhaps she could prepare herself in some way, ensure that her mind or body wouldn't shatter.
He grinned and simply gathered a fistful of her hair and pulled. She refused to let go, and if anything squeezed tighter. She doubted he could withstand a tracheal compression for very long; Jotun and Asgardians still had to breathe sometime. "I'm taking you where you belong," he rasped loudly, lips still pulled back in a rictus grin.
And then he stepped through reality, to a place she didn't recognize at all. The walls were glittering ice, the furniture elaborately wrought in silver or platinum, furs and throw rugs everywhere. Taper candles and a roaring fire threw off light, and there were shelves with leather bound books, scrolls and ornate boxes. A table to the side held ink pots and quills, rolled scrolls and parchment, more stacks of books.
Loki had brought her to his hideaway. His home.
Numb, Natasha let go of him and looked around in stunned confusion. When she looked back at him, he watched her as if she was a caged animal. Perhaps he saw her that way. There was no point in attacking him; the portal behind him was closed, and she saw no other exit. She could only come and go at his whim.
The manic grin was back, and his eyes glittered in that crazed, desperate way she was coming to associate with him. She had somehow fucked up one of his plans, but he was willing to make do and change them as he went. Loki sketched a slight, mocking bow, and she inclined her head toward him. It couldn't hurt to play along.
"Welcome home, little spider."
The End