Misery Inspires, 1/2. Loki/Natasha
Title: Misery Inspires
Series: #3 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'm starting to like playing around in the Marvel movieverse. Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations as well.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Mentions knife fighting and blood from the prior story.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Everyone assumed that Loki was after Jane and her research. Everyone assumed that travel between worlds without the Bifrost was too difficult.
Everyone was wrong.
One - "Can the bridges go elsewhere?"
It wasn't much of a surprise for Natasha when the Avengers were reassembled and Jane Foster was present at the briefing. The Warriors Three were also there, and Natasha could see why Loki assumed Jane wasn't comfortable with Sif. Sif sat stiffly at attention beside her comrades, eyes alert for any possible dangers. She didn't look at Jane, and Jane was too busy talking about the Einstein-Rosen bridge with Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. She was animated in her speech, and didn't seem to notice anything else. Thor was obviously proud of her, nearly beaming as she tried to explain in simpler terms that she was close to completing her bridge. That would allow better and more frequent travel between the realms, which would far less dangerous than the costly magic portals Thor presently had to use.
"Can the bridges go elsewhere?" Clint asked, frowning slightly. He was no doubt remembering his time under Loki's thrall, the Tesseract opening a portal somewhere else, allowing the Chitauri to pour through.
Jane frowned, visibly thinking rapidly. "I suppose. I mean, I have my experiments set right now to the Bifrost, linking the two. It doesn't use coordinates, exactly, it's not that precise, more like a wormhole, if that makes sense." Clint nodded and Natasha just watched her very closely, mind whirring with possible reasons why Loki would be interested in Jane. "But if refined enough, I'm sure inputting different parameters can act as a coordinate system. The bridge could theoretically open anywhere you wanted it to. It just needs to be powered and directed somewhere."
Magic portals took energy and willpower to open and close, and travel wasn't instantaneous, either. Thor described seeing portals that functioned almost like pathways through nightmarish realms, warping reality to create and close them. The Warriors Three were suspiciously silent and Fandral looked rather green at the discussion of the portals. Natasha wondered what had happened to him, if creatures wandered the paths between worlds.
"Shortcuts, I would assume," Jane said after a moment, not particularly squeamish at the thought. She was a scientist, after all. Her first instinct was to categorize and study everything unknown, and the paths along Yggdrasil were definitely unknown. "I've discussed it with Lady Frigga while I was in Asgard, swapping magic and science terminology." Her pure joy at the discussion shone through. "She calls her magic seidr, and it took a bit for us to find something equivalent. Quantum theory is the closest I can come, I think."
Natasha tuned out the excited talk from Banner and Stark, watching them all closely. It could be done, she thought. Clint was on the right track, as he usually was. Most underestimated his intellectual capabilities, and he liked it that way, but the distance he had to situations allowed him the ability to take leaps in logic.
Magic was complicated and could cost too much for any single sorcerer. Jane's bridge, however, could take people anywhere in Yggdrasil, if not beyond.
Clint caught her thoughtful look. "What is it?"
"This is an obvious target," she replied. Her voice must have carried, because Sif looked straight at her and the Warriors Three looked curiously in her direction. It wasn't discomfort but honest concern and an appreciation for what she was saying. Sif wasn't too proud to take a mortal's advice, and the Warriors Three didn't seem the type either.
"Well, this is what we've been working toward, but there are some problems with this that I haven't quite worked out yet," Jane said, pointing at a complicated equation that Natasha didn't even bother to glance at. Theoretical astrophysics wasn't exactly her forte, and Jane didn't really feel the need to translate theory into English. "Assuming we can get a stable enough energy source to help stabilize the harmonics-"
"This is a portal that can be directed anywhere, with little to no effort on your part," Natasha interrupted, seeing that Jane didn't understand her point. "It can be used to travel without difficulty. It can be made as large or as small as you need it to be. Anything like that can be weaponized, or used to bring an army to any location."
The room fell utterly silent, and Jane looked at her in horror. It obviously wasn't her intent, and she hadn't thought of the ways her research could be corrupted.
Sif leaned in and touched Jane's arm in silent support. "Of course we do not believe you have such ill intentions to our realm. You are a friend to Asgard."
Interesting. Loki really had no idea how their relationship actually was. Sif took her duties as protector seriously, but she wasn't distant because she didn't find Jane a friend. Similarly, Jane didn't dismiss Sif out of fear, but out of devotion to her studies. This made Natasha wonder at Loki's perceptions and motives. Was he really so out of touch? Or was he so pessimistic that he ascribed sinister motives to everyone?
That got Stark talking about biometric recognition to activate the bridge technology, pass codes and perhaps installing an AI to cover the computational work needed to direct the ends of the wormholes. Natasha tuned all of that out and looked at Clint with a neutral expression. "How long until the tech is stolen?" she asked.
He snorted softly. "Bet you it's less than six months."
She nodded with a small smile. "Twenty says it's between six months to a year."
"You're on."
***
Natasha had initially been alone at the gym, moving through her workout with her hair pulled out of her eyes and clothes dripping with sweat. It had started with a routine similar to what she had once done as a ballerina to limber up, with moves to stretch and lengthen muscles as well as warm up. Then came the cardio, strength training and muy thai boxing, which was that particular day's workout. She could spend over two hours doing this if not on assignment somewhere, and her hunt for Hydra agents was currently at a standstill. For now, she still wanted to avoid being on Jane Foster's security detail. Something in her gut twisted at the thought of having to fight Loki again, of having him twist and carve into her flesh.
The scar in question seemed to twinge in sympathy for the thought. Pushing that sensation out of her mind, Natasha began punching the air again.
Loki seemed to shimmer into existence just in front of her extended fist.
Pulling back a little, she leveled a stare at him. He had promised to see her again, and now here he was. Dressed as a mortal businessman, he was out of place in the gym. His hair was slicked back, and he had an elegant green striped tie at his throat. If she hadn't known better, she would have said that his eyes traveled over her body appreciatively. "Why are you here?" she asked when he made no move to speak.
"Would you strike me?"
"Are you giving me a reason to?"
His lips pulled back into a smile. "Oh, I easily could. But not now." He walked around her in a slow circle. Natasha remained where she was, only turning her head slightly to track his motions as he walked. "Your searches have still yielded nothing."
"Did you get rid of the one I was looking for?"
Loki's lips curled back into a deadly smile. "Why would I help you? Those mortals mean nothing, are nothing. They're simply tools to be used and discarded when no longer needed."
Something cold and hard coiled in the pit of Natasha's stomach, and her wrists ached painfully, though she didn't outwardly react. It could have been the pull of the scar on her abdomen and the invisible ones on her wrists, some part of Loki left behind and calling to him. His eyes flicked to her hands, still curled into fists, no change in his expression. "Would you like to spar?" she asked as challenge. His smile widened, so she boldly asked "Interested in hand to hand this time?"
"Of a sort," he hedged.
Natasha didn't rise to the bait, waiting. After a minute or two, her heart rate was down and stable, the sweat cooling on her skin. She wouldn't crack first.
Loki didn't mind the silence or her cool stare. He finally opened the suit jacket and removed a slip of paper. He extended it out to her between two of his slim fingers, spiky writing clearly visible on it. "There are no wards to activate, no malicious spells," he said quietly when she didn't immediately move. "But you were looking for this."
"Why give me this?" she asked, retrieving the slip of paper. Fury would be pleased knowing Loki was freely giving her information. That slotted nicely into his agenda. Of course, she didn't trust Loki at all, and didn't assume that Fury did.
"Perhaps we can be of mutual benefit," Loki purred.
All right, that she could believe. "How so?" she asked cautiously, still not looking at the slip's contents. Getting the information would have to come with a price, and she wasn't willing to pay it until she knew what she was getting into.
"I have my wants. You have yours."
You need to make his plans align with ours.
Natasha raised an eyebrow. "So what are yours, if you believe you know mine?"
"You're seeking these men. Here's where one of their headquarters are currently located. I'm sure you'll check on its validity first." His smile was all teeth, and Natasha thought of a shark coming in for the kill once it scented blood in the water. She thought of the way his knife had dug under her skin, the way his tongue curled around his blade to lick up her blood. "I haven't given you cause to trust me, I know."
"What is it that you want?"
"What creature can truly know what it wants? Recognition is a good start."
She flicked a glance at the paper in her hands. "Odessa, Texas. That's arbitrary."
"I gather that was the point," Loki returned.
Conceding the point, Natasha gave him a nod. A chill rolled down her spine, though she attributed it to her cooling skin. "Is recognition so important?"
Something burned in his eyes, and Natasha squelched the urge to step back from him. Loki came in too close for her liking, and the prickle in her scars intensified. "Sometimes it is only the little things that matter, is it not?" He ran a finger along the edge of her lower lip, eyes traveling along the curve of her mouth. "We do what needs must, and deal with the consequences if we have to."
Why was he saying "we?" Did he truly include her in this plan of his? She thought of the dread she had felt when Fury called her their Loki expert. Surely Thor would have said he understood his adopted brother, but she knew that anything he said would be suspect. Few likely understood Loki and his desires.
"Would you like to visit Thor?" she asked, voice even. That would be a form of recognition. She hadn't asked him what exactly it was that he wanted, going for the why of it instead. Sometimes that was more important to know, if only to make him more predictable. She already knew that he thought of humans as unimportant playthings, subject to his whims. If she could learn what those whims were...
"No." Loki's expression shut down and he seemed to recoil without moving.
"Some would think he was rather generous. He still cares for you as a brother."
"He is not my brother," Loki snarled in an undertone. "He cares for his own glory, being hailed as a hero even when he lacks understanding of what is proper." It was such a change from the quiet "I don't like what follows" when he had allowed himself to be captured at Stuttgart and brought to the helicarrier. Natasha hadn't seen his expression then, but this right now was not feigned. Whatever happened between them, he truly believed what he was saying. She made a mental note to ask Thor about it.
"Who would you like to see, then?"
"I already have visited those I care to."
He stepped back before Natasha could take a breath and vanished. It had to be an invisibility spell of some kind, but it was still impressive as hell.
Natasha headed to the showers. Let him look if he wanted to, he had seen her naked already. She was less concerned about nudity than appearing to cater to his whims. He might be a god as far as mortals were concerned, but she didn't have to give him more power than he already had.
***
While SHIELD's junior agents looked into Odessa, Natasha arranged to meet with Thor. He had a suite at Stark's tower, and was talking about the beauty of Pop Tarts and pancakes with Clint Barton. Natasha couldn't help but smirk at them both as she came in, seeing their feet up on the coffee table and a Disney movie on that they weren't even really watching. Times like this, they seemed more like overgrown boys than the potentially dangerous men that they were.
"Lady Natasha," Thor greeted with smile. Clint simply nodded. "You requested a conference to discuss something of potential import."
"It might not be," she said, shrugging as she sat down on an armchair to the side of the coffee table. She looked over at Clint. "You don't have to leave."
"The Little Mermaid can wait," Clint replied, hitting pause on the remote. "We kind of got side tracked with the collection of all her stuff."
Natasha allowed herself a smile. "I can see that, yes." She turned to Thor. "You know I was requested to deal with Loki."
"Your Director did not ask me for help. I believe my brother would not find it welcoming," he admitted with a sigh. "But I would still help as I can, Lady. I wish him peace, in whatever form that may be," he told her earnestly.
"He finds me, wherever I happen to be at the time, and starts to spar. It could be physically, it could be verbally."
"He could find you a challenge."
"Somehow I doubt that," she replied dryly, "but thank you for the vote of confidence. When I mentioned you this last time, he got very angry. Downright furious, in fact, and said all you cared for was glory and that you had a poor understanding of propriety."
"He said that?" Clint asked in surprise.
"Just about," Natasha replied. She looked at Thor, who appeared stricken. "Something happened between the two of you," she guessed, her voice soft and surprisingly gentle. "Fury wants me to bring Loki into the fold, have him work for SHIELD if possible. Is it?"
"He still is angered over imagined slights," Thor said, shaking his head. "We fought together, we played together. We were raised as brothers, and it was what I believed him to be. Our friends believed it to be so, and none truly thought ill of him until he usurped our father's place."
Natasha zeroed in on the phrase "imagined slights." That would be the key. Just because Thor didn't understand Loki's point of view didn't mean nothing happened. "Did he ever mention particular things to you? Events from before the time Odin fell into the Odinsleep?"
Thor shook his head, lost in thought. "We fought, we played childish games as brothers do. He was far more skilled in letters and the seidr, and I was champion on the field. Differences in our expertise, perhaps, but no less important."
"Did you always feel that way?"
His silence spoke volumes.
"And when Odin fell asleep?" Natasha asked gently.
"I was already exiled," Thor said slowly, looking at a point just past Natasha's ear. It was painful for him, and Natasha had to tell herself that this was necessary. She wasn't putting him through this for no reason. She wasn't delighting in his misery, but the scar on her abdomen seemed to pulse in pleasure.
"Natasha," Clint said after a moment, uncomfortable with Thor's wounded silence.
"Hold, friend," Thor murmured, shaking his head. "I am well. The Lady wishes to understand my brother's imaginings, the better to work with him." At her nod, he gave her a grimace of a smile. "I grieved, believing myself unworthy. He appeared to me, telling me of the Odinsleep, that I was not to return home. I had lost the respect of friends and family, I had no place. I was outcast, lost to time and place. It was not true, and my friends sought to correct the mistake. Even after the Allfather woke, when Loki's deeds were brought to light, he continued to lie. Rather than return to Asgard, he chose to fall and be lost to us."
Natasha's gut tightened with his words, but her expression remained neutral. "What if he feels that way now?"
"I offer kinship!" Thor exclaimed, surprised. "I did not steal his birthright or dishonor him as he may claim. I call him brother and I wish it were still so!"
"I understand that," she said slowly, clearly. Natasha reached forward and touched the back of Thor's hand. "But you said he imagined that he was wronged. What if he felt unworthy all this time? What if he still feels that way now?"
"I would correct this misunderstanding," Thor declared earnestly, eyes nearly lighting up at the thought. "We could be brothers once more."
She rather doubted that, but kept silent for a moment. "He wants some kind of recognition," she began slowly. "He told me that much. Rather than rushing in, this might be something best worked on slowly. Gain his trust."
Thor seemed to understand that, nodding. "The Chitauri are unknown to Asgard, so when he had fallen from the Bifrost, he could have run afoul of those creatures."
"There was something else there," Clint said abruptly. Both Natasha and Thor turned to look at him. "I couldn't see it, but it looked like sometimes he was talking with someone. He never looked right afterward, like he was in pain. I couldn't question it at the time."
Natasha had never heard of that before, but she hadn't wanted to pry before he was ready to discuss it. That wasn't their way. Rolling the information around in her head, she thought carefully about the way he had interacted with her so far. "He likes to be in control, and he had been stripped of much of that. Loki wasn't the older brother growing up, and he wasn't as good as you in armed combat. If Asgard is anything like the Norse eddas, his gifts with magic wouldn't have been appreciated. He would have felt unvalued, with no control or power."
Though he looked like he wanted to contest that assessment, Thor didn't. He nodded slowly after a moment. Clint mouthed Norse eddas? at her, but didn't interrupt.
"The recognition he wants might not be from you, Thor. He may want it someday, I don't know, but right now, you probably remind him of what he's lost."
"I offer friendship..." Thor protested.
"He may not be ready to take it."
Clint looked at Natasha closely. "Are you offering, then?"
"I have Fury's orders."
Not the same thing, and they both knew it. Thor chose to interpret it that way, and he looked at her with a broad, confident smile. "Your heart is kind and wondrous. It will show him the error of his ways, I am sure."
Looking vaguely ill, Clint looked away. You have heart, Loki had said before enslaving his mind and twisting him. Occasionally, he still had nightmares, though Natasha didn't know all of the details. She assumed it was of attacking the helicarrier or finding the mercenaries to work for Loki. He still carried far too much guilt for that, though he likely would never accept absolution of that grief.
"I can only do my best," Natasha told Thor gently. "We'll have to wait and see."
***
"So is it Hydra or Loki that's your focus now?" Clint asked as they walked toward a SHIELD gym. He had his collapsible compound bow in hand, and she had knives. Most junior agents scurried to get out of their way.
"I have both orders," she replied, voice neutral. "Apparently it's not a mutually exclusive task."
"There's also protecting Foster," he remarked as they entered the range portion of the gym. "I know you didn't want to be on that detail."
"Loki thought I'd be there. That's reason enough for me not to be."
"Oh?" he asked, curious as he snapped the bow open.
She inspected the case full of knives that she had brought with her. "He's bested me twice now. I won't be able to protect Dr. Foster. Not physically, anyway." Natasha pursed her lips and looked up at him. It was on the tip of her tongue to say He marked me, but the syllables refused to form at all.
"It's not like you to be afraid."
"It's not fear, it's being realistic. Someone like a god goes up against a mortal..." She shrugged slightly and looked at the edge of her blade critically. "Better that other godlike beings are there if he does show up."
"You're piecing together a dossier," Clint guessed, reaching into his quiver for an arrow.
"I need to know what he wants in order to bring him in."
They didn't discuss the fact that he had brought her in that way. He had tracked her for months before approaching her. Clint had seen the exhaustion in her eyes, the droop in her stance. He had seen someone worth saving even if she didn't believe herself worthy of it, and she had worked to prove him right. It was a debt she likely could never fully repay, but that wouldn't stop her from trying.
Clint fired off a few arrows and she practiced her precision knife throwing. They worked in companionable silence in neighboring aisles of the range. It was quieter than the pistol range, at least. Walking over to collect the ammunition to start again, he looked over at her. "Not everyone can be redeemed," he murmured slowly. His blunt fingers rubbed the edge of one arrowhead, his gaze distant. "I know Fury wants you to try, and that you'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Loki is crazy, Tash. Even you can't predict him." He paused, then put the arrow away before looking at her. "Before, when he had control over me... What I remember is garbled and faded now. He doesn't think the way we do."
"I would imagine few do," she replied with a sardonic twist to her lips.
As she had hoped, he laughed a little. "I guess not," he agreed. He collected the last few arrows and gave her a knife she hadn't retrieved yet. "Magic takes a lot out of him. He had looked sick at the time to start with, so that hadn't helped the situation. But it was stressful, made him an even edgier, crazy bastard. I remember being worried about him, thinking it would break him apart and destroy what was left of his mind."
Natasha's gaze sharpened. "What was left of his mind?" she echoed.
"I never got the details. But he had the same look in his eyes as traumatized field agents. You know how that is."
Yes, she did. That could explain so much of what had happened. Falling off of a broken Bifrost, getting involved with the Chitauri, being physically ill and still trying to put on the façade for everyone that he was in control and invincible...
"He wants recognition," Natasha murmured as they walked back to the start. "I never asked what kind it was that he was looking for."
"He wanted to be a king," Clint replied. "Is there any other kind for him?"
She looked at the point of her blade and down the length of the range. Throwing it, the knife hit the bull's eye and was buried to the hilt. "I suppose not."
"Careful, Tash," he said softly. "Don't lose yourself bringing him in."
Natasha looked at him, her own gaze softening. There was too much unsaid between them, too much she would never be able to articulate. "Not if I have you with me."
Clint flashed her a wild, reckless grin as he shot off his own bull's eye. "Always."
***
Natasha found Jane and Sif in Stark Tower. She couldn't quite bring herself to think of it as Avengers Tower yet, as much as Stark said he intended to create areas that each member of the team could call home. Bruce Banner was there, working in one of the labs that Stark had generously provided him, and Jane had come to consult with him regarding radiation patterns in her bridge that she couldn't quite get right. The two apparently had conversed in advanced scientific terms for hours before Natasha had arrived, because Sif looked ready to hit something out of boredom.
"Perhaps you and I could talk," Natasha said to Sif, her voice pitched low enough not to carry over to the two scientists.
Sif sat at attention, and now diverted her gaze toward Natasha. She carried herself as if the civilian clothing she wore was armor, defeating its purpose to help her blend in. Tall and with sleek black hair, Sif was very obviously there to watch over Jane's safety. Jane seemed largely oblivious to that fact, poring over complicated equations and discussing variables with Bruce. Prior to meeting Thor in the desert outside of Puente Antiguo, Jane hadn't had to consider sheer strength and combat skills in people she knew. She still wasn't very good at it, overlooking Natasha's entrance completely. The redhead had come on a social call, so she was in a simple shirt and jeans.
"The Director of SHIELD is considering having Loki do consulting work." Sif immediately lost interest in Jane and stared at Natasha incredulously. "You know him."
"Of the lies his silver tongue drips into the ears of those willing to believe them," she corrected, scorn readily evident in her voice. Narrowing her eyes at Natasha, she seemed to weigh her next words carefully. "Once, I might have named him friend. But his pride and foul desires for power destroyed any such feeling that might have existed. He is a creature that will twist any good intent your director may have for such an association."
"Can his powers be bound?"
That surprised Sif. "Using his magic against him? Or for your cause?"
"Is it possible? I've been reading Norse eddas in the hopes of understanding the culture a bit more, but it's likely been corrupted over time."
"I have not heard these tales of which you speak."
"They're stories of Norse gods, the troubles and trials they've undergone, and some mention Loki." Natasha paused. "In those tales, he has children."
Sif let out a short, huffing breath that might have been an amused snort. "He did not sire any offspring. The tales are wrong."
"Was there ever a giantess he was involved with? Or someone commissioned to build a wall around Asgard?"
Now she laughed a little. "Perhaps all tales begin with a grain of truth. Those ruling Helheim certainly claim him as kin, and Hel is said to resemble him." She looked at Natasha appraisingly. "There is caution in you. The Man of Iron would not tread so carefully. He had goaded Loki, tried to match wits. The others went to battle."
"I used his misperceptions about me against him once. I doubt I'll be able to do that again."
"He is a sly one," she agreed, looking back at Jane when she made a startled noise. It was simply in response to Bruce pointing out an error in the work she had been doing, leading to furious scribbling and more intense astrophysics jargon.
"What can you tell me about who he used to be?"
Now Sif sighed, keeping her eyes on Jane. "We were little more than children. Petty squabbles, callow dreams, insults not meant to harm. I unmanned him, he cut my hair. There were taunts about his magicks, and Thor generously offered to share his spoils. It was not malicious in intent, but Thor tells me Loki deems it so."
"I believe he does."
"I had never considered before that he might have been inspired by misery, that he would have held such hurt." Her voice was quiet, pained. "Too much has passed since then, and it cannot be undone or repaired."
"You don't think so?" Natasha asked Sif gently, curious. "What if it could be?"
She shook her head and kept her gaze fixed on Jane. "His heart has been hardened through misery and his own misfortune. If he cannot see as others do, cannot let go of these harms he believes we inflicted, he will not reconcile. He will not return to Asgard unless it is to burn it to ashes and dance on our graves." She turned to Natasha, expression pained. "It is his way. He is a proud, vain creature. As we all are, in our way. Loki will not admit fault in himself, will not see a different path than the one he has set himself on. So now we are adversaries, and I will slay him if I must, even if it pains me to do so."
"Would you stop us if I convince him to join SHIELD?"
Sif gave Natasha a sad smile. "If you could perform this feat, it would be miraculous indeed."
***
"You've been quite curious about me," Loki said as he slid into a seat beside Natasha at an outdoor café. She and Clint had been sitting there in silence, each nursing a latte and enjoying the summer evening. It was a rare spate of rest, especially considering that the junior agents had taken the Odessa Hydra base apart and were analyzing its contents. Likely more locations would be found soon, and Natasha would be on the move. Clint was working with Stark to watch over Jane as she reconstructed the Bifrost.
Interstellar travel would be a draw for Loki and could be weaponized. Technology like that could not be allowed to fall into the wrong hands.
Clint tensed immediately at the sound of Loki's voice, but the trickster was looking intently at Natasha. "Little spider," he purred, "Whatever are you looking for?"
"Something that might help you get proper recognition."
He stilled, head tilted to the side as he contemplated her. "So you are holding up your end of the bargain, then." He reached out and traced a finger along the inside of her wrist, right along the seam he had knitted back together. "Interesting."
"If an apology was ever offered for past grievances," Natasha began, using her other hand to lift her latte to her lips, "would you accept it?" Her tone was casual, pretending Loki's presence didn't bother her.
Loki snatched his hand away from hers as if burned. "You will get no such thing."
"Isn't that recognition?" she asked.
He shot to his feet, visibly disturbed. "This is not the purpose, little spider. Careful whose webs you seek to unravel." Loki watched her drink calmly for a moment, then slid his eyes toward Clint. He took in their postures, the way they had been watching passersby quietly, the evening heat not so oppressive. "Do you remember?" he asked Clint, eyeing him closely. "Can you recall the threads that bound you to me, the control I held over you?" Loki leaned in, a crazed look in his eyes.
Natasha put a hand to Loki's chest and pushed gently. He actually followed the movement and sank back into his seat. "There are other options," she said mildly, as if Clint wasn't sitting with every muscle taut and ready to spring.
"Oh? Do tell."
"There are occasionally practitioners of magic on Earth-"
"Childish pranks," Loki scoffed, leaning back in his seat arrogantly. "It's not true magic."
"-and your expertise would be greatly respected and valued."
Loki remained silent as Clint glared at him and Natasha sipped her latte. "I would think you have more need of me than I of you."
"What good is an expert if there is no one there to recognize it?" she returned. "This is a separate realm from Asgard. Their rules don't apply here."
A slow, sinister smile stretched across his lips. "Indeed, they do not."
"I remember," Clint said abruptly, his eyes fixed on Loki. "And I remember the threads that bound you," he added, voice hard. "Is someone out there still pulling on them?"
Loki's expression contorted into rage, but Natasha merely put down her cup. "Perhaps there are other benefits to offer you, then," she said.
"You are not so powerful," Loki sneered at her.
"Not alone."
He stood, the sneer still stretched across his lips. His entire body seemed to thrum with tension, and he struck an almost aggressive pose. "You are nothing. You have nothing."
"I'm sure the Chitauri enjoyed the nuclear missiles," Clint replied, a hard edge to his voice.
"Their master worships death," Loki replied. "You cannot escape his notice now."
"Stay here long enough, he'll find you, too."
Loki made a frustrated sound and left as abruptly as he came, not looking backward. Clint waited a beat until he was calm enough to face Natasha. "Fury made a mistake with this."
"Too late to be undone," she murmured gently, reaching out to him across the table. Though Clint didn't know about them, his fingers found the invisible line across her wrist where Loki's knife and sealing spells had been. She shivered at the contact, meeting his eyes. "I know what will happen if I fail with this. Loki will remain untethered and will practically have free rein to do what he likes. The Council will pin the blame on me."
"Screw the Council. I'm worried about you."
Natasha pushed away any fears she might have had about herself. That didn't matter as much to her, as long as Clint remained safe and she still had the trust of those in SHIELD command. She didn't know what Loki had planned, but it couldn't be good.
Creatures that worshipped death generally didn't fear it.
***
***
Series: #3 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'm starting to like playing around in the Marvel movieverse. Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations as well.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Mentions knife fighting and blood from the prior story.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Everyone assumed that Loki was after Jane and her research. Everyone assumed that travel between worlds without the Bifrost was too difficult.
Everyone was wrong.
One - "Can the bridges go elsewhere?"
It wasn't much of a surprise for Natasha when the Avengers were reassembled and Jane Foster was present at the briefing. The Warriors Three were also there, and Natasha could see why Loki assumed Jane wasn't comfortable with Sif. Sif sat stiffly at attention beside her comrades, eyes alert for any possible dangers. She didn't look at Jane, and Jane was too busy talking about the Einstein-Rosen bridge with Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. She was animated in her speech, and didn't seem to notice anything else. Thor was obviously proud of her, nearly beaming as she tried to explain in simpler terms that she was close to completing her bridge. That would allow better and more frequent travel between the realms, which would far less dangerous than the costly magic portals Thor presently had to use.
"Can the bridges go elsewhere?" Clint asked, frowning slightly. He was no doubt remembering his time under Loki's thrall, the Tesseract opening a portal somewhere else, allowing the Chitauri to pour through.
Jane frowned, visibly thinking rapidly. "I suppose. I mean, I have my experiments set right now to the Bifrost, linking the two. It doesn't use coordinates, exactly, it's not that precise, more like a wormhole, if that makes sense." Clint nodded and Natasha just watched her very closely, mind whirring with possible reasons why Loki would be interested in Jane. "But if refined enough, I'm sure inputting different parameters can act as a coordinate system. The bridge could theoretically open anywhere you wanted it to. It just needs to be powered and directed somewhere."
Magic portals took energy and willpower to open and close, and travel wasn't instantaneous, either. Thor described seeing portals that functioned almost like pathways through nightmarish realms, warping reality to create and close them. The Warriors Three were suspiciously silent and Fandral looked rather green at the discussion of the portals. Natasha wondered what had happened to him, if creatures wandered the paths between worlds.
"Shortcuts, I would assume," Jane said after a moment, not particularly squeamish at the thought. She was a scientist, after all. Her first instinct was to categorize and study everything unknown, and the paths along Yggdrasil were definitely unknown. "I've discussed it with Lady Frigga while I was in Asgard, swapping magic and science terminology." Her pure joy at the discussion shone through. "She calls her magic seidr, and it took a bit for us to find something equivalent. Quantum theory is the closest I can come, I think."
Natasha tuned out the excited talk from Banner and Stark, watching them all closely. It could be done, she thought. Clint was on the right track, as he usually was. Most underestimated his intellectual capabilities, and he liked it that way, but the distance he had to situations allowed him the ability to take leaps in logic.
Magic was complicated and could cost too much for any single sorcerer. Jane's bridge, however, could take people anywhere in Yggdrasil, if not beyond.
Clint caught her thoughtful look. "What is it?"
"This is an obvious target," she replied. Her voice must have carried, because Sif looked straight at her and the Warriors Three looked curiously in her direction. It wasn't discomfort but honest concern and an appreciation for what she was saying. Sif wasn't too proud to take a mortal's advice, and the Warriors Three didn't seem the type either.
"Well, this is what we've been working toward, but there are some problems with this that I haven't quite worked out yet," Jane said, pointing at a complicated equation that Natasha didn't even bother to glance at. Theoretical astrophysics wasn't exactly her forte, and Jane didn't really feel the need to translate theory into English. "Assuming we can get a stable enough energy source to help stabilize the harmonics-"
"This is a portal that can be directed anywhere, with little to no effort on your part," Natasha interrupted, seeing that Jane didn't understand her point. "It can be used to travel without difficulty. It can be made as large or as small as you need it to be. Anything like that can be weaponized, or used to bring an army to any location."
The room fell utterly silent, and Jane looked at her in horror. It obviously wasn't her intent, and she hadn't thought of the ways her research could be corrupted.
Sif leaned in and touched Jane's arm in silent support. "Of course we do not believe you have such ill intentions to our realm. You are a friend to Asgard."
Interesting. Loki really had no idea how their relationship actually was. Sif took her duties as protector seriously, but she wasn't distant because she didn't find Jane a friend. Similarly, Jane didn't dismiss Sif out of fear, but out of devotion to her studies. This made Natasha wonder at Loki's perceptions and motives. Was he really so out of touch? Or was he so pessimistic that he ascribed sinister motives to everyone?
That got Stark talking about biometric recognition to activate the bridge technology, pass codes and perhaps installing an AI to cover the computational work needed to direct the ends of the wormholes. Natasha tuned all of that out and looked at Clint with a neutral expression. "How long until the tech is stolen?" she asked.
He snorted softly. "Bet you it's less than six months."
She nodded with a small smile. "Twenty says it's between six months to a year."
"You're on."
***
Natasha had initially been alone at the gym, moving through her workout with her hair pulled out of her eyes and clothes dripping with sweat. It had started with a routine similar to what she had once done as a ballerina to limber up, with moves to stretch and lengthen muscles as well as warm up. Then came the cardio, strength training and muy thai boxing, which was that particular day's workout. She could spend over two hours doing this if not on assignment somewhere, and her hunt for Hydra agents was currently at a standstill. For now, she still wanted to avoid being on Jane Foster's security detail. Something in her gut twisted at the thought of having to fight Loki again, of having him twist and carve into her flesh.
The scar in question seemed to twinge in sympathy for the thought. Pushing that sensation out of her mind, Natasha began punching the air again.
Loki seemed to shimmer into existence just in front of her extended fist.
Pulling back a little, she leveled a stare at him. He had promised to see her again, and now here he was. Dressed as a mortal businessman, he was out of place in the gym. His hair was slicked back, and he had an elegant green striped tie at his throat. If she hadn't known better, she would have said that his eyes traveled over her body appreciatively. "Why are you here?" she asked when he made no move to speak.
"Would you strike me?"
"Are you giving me a reason to?"
His lips pulled back into a smile. "Oh, I easily could. But not now." He walked around her in a slow circle. Natasha remained where she was, only turning her head slightly to track his motions as he walked. "Your searches have still yielded nothing."
"Did you get rid of the one I was looking for?"
Loki's lips curled back into a deadly smile. "Why would I help you? Those mortals mean nothing, are nothing. They're simply tools to be used and discarded when no longer needed."
Something cold and hard coiled in the pit of Natasha's stomach, and her wrists ached painfully, though she didn't outwardly react. It could have been the pull of the scar on her abdomen and the invisible ones on her wrists, some part of Loki left behind and calling to him. His eyes flicked to her hands, still curled into fists, no change in his expression. "Would you like to spar?" she asked as challenge. His smile widened, so she boldly asked "Interested in hand to hand this time?"
"Of a sort," he hedged.
Natasha didn't rise to the bait, waiting. After a minute or two, her heart rate was down and stable, the sweat cooling on her skin. She wouldn't crack first.
Loki didn't mind the silence or her cool stare. He finally opened the suit jacket and removed a slip of paper. He extended it out to her between two of his slim fingers, spiky writing clearly visible on it. "There are no wards to activate, no malicious spells," he said quietly when she didn't immediately move. "But you were looking for this."
"Why give me this?" she asked, retrieving the slip of paper. Fury would be pleased knowing Loki was freely giving her information. That slotted nicely into his agenda. Of course, she didn't trust Loki at all, and didn't assume that Fury did.
"Perhaps we can be of mutual benefit," Loki purred.
All right, that she could believe. "How so?" she asked cautiously, still not looking at the slip's contents. Getting the information would have to come with a price, and she wasn't willing to pay it until she knew what she was getting into.
"I have my wants. You have yours."
You need to make his plans align with ours.
Natasha raised an eyebrow. "So what are yours, if you believe you know mine?"
"You're seeking these men. Here's where one of their headquarters are currently located. I'm sure you'll check on its validity first." His smile was all teeth, and Natasha thought of a shark coming in for the kill once it scented blood in the water. She thought of the way his knife had dug under her skin, the way his tongue curled around his blade to lick up her blood. "I haven't given you cause to trust me, I know."
"What is it that you want?"
"What creature can truly know what it wants? Recognition is a good start."
She flicked a glance at the paper in her hands. "Odessa, Texas. That's arbitrary."
"I gather that was the point," Loki returned.
Conceding the point, Natasha gave him a nod. A chill rolled down her spine, though she attributed it to her cooling skin. "Is recognition so important?"
Something burned in his eyes, and Natasha squelched the urge to step back from him. Loki came in too close for her liking, and the prickle in her scars intensified. "Sometimes it is only the little things that matter, is it not?" He ran a finger along the edge of her lower lip, eyes traveling along the curve of her mouth. "We do what needs must, and deal with the consequences if we have to."
Why was he saying "we?" Did he truly include her in this plan of his? She thought of the dread she had felt when Fury called her their Loki expert. Surely Thor would have said he understood his adopted brother, but she knew that anything he said would be suspect. Few likely understood Loki and his desires.
"Would you like to visit Thor?" she asked, voice even. That would be a form of recognition. She hadn't asked him what exactly it was that he wanted, going for the why of it instead. Sometimes that was more important to know, if only to make him more predictable. She already knew that he thought of humans as unimportant playthings, subject to his whims. If she could learn what those whims were...
"No." Loki's expression shut down and he seemed to recoil without moving.
"Some would think he was rather generous. He still cares for you as a brother."
"He is not my brother," Loki snarled in an undertone. "He cares for his own glory, being hailed as a hero even when he lacks understanding of what is proper." It was such a change from the quiet "I don't like what follows" when he had allowed himself to be captured at Stuttgart and brought to the helicarrier. Natasha hadn't seen his expression then, but this right now was not feigned. Whatever happened between them, he truly believed what he was saying. She made a mental note to ask Thor about it.
"Who would you like to see, then?"
"I already have visited those I care to."
He stepped back before Natasha could take a breath and vanished. It had to be an invisibility spell of some kind, but it was still impressive as hell.
Natasha headed to the showers. Let him look if he wanted to, he had seen her naked already. She was less concerned about nudity than appearing to cater to his whims. He might be a god as far as mortals were concerned, but she didn't have to give him more power than he already had.
***
While SHIELD's junior agents looked into Odessa, Natasha arranged to meet with Thor. He had a suite at Stark's tower, and was talking about the beauty of Pop Tarts and pancakes with Clint Barton. Natasha couldn't help but smirk at them both as she came in, seeing their feet up on the coffee table and a Disney movie on that they weren't even really watching. Times like this, they seemed more like overgrown boys than the potentially dangerous men that they were.
"Lady Natasha," Thor greeted with smile. Clint simply nodded. "You requested a conference to discuss something of potential import."
"It might not be," she said, shrugging as she sat down on an armchair to the side of the coffee table. She looked over at Clint. "You don't have to leave."
"The Little Mermaid can wait," Clint replied, hitting pause on the remote. "We kind of got side tracked with the collection of all her stuff."
Natasha allowed herself a smile. "I can see that, yes." She turned to Thor. "You know I was requested to deal with Loki."
"Your Director did not ask me for help. I believe my brother would not find it welcoming," he admitted with a sigh. "But I would still help as I can, Lady. I wish him peace, in whatever form that may be," he told her earnestly.
"He finds me, wherever I happen to be at the time, and starts to spar. It could be physically, it could be verbally."
"He could find you a challenge."
"Somehow I doubt that," she replied dryly, "but thank you for the vote of confidence. When I mentioned you this last time, he got very angry. Downright furious, in fact, and said all you cared for was glory and that you had a poor understanding of propriety."
"He said that?" Clint asked in surprise.
"Just about," Natasha replied. She looked at Thor, who appeared stricken. "Something happened between the two of you," she guessed, her voice soft and surprisingly gentle. "Fury wants me to bring Loki into the fold, have him work for SHIELD if possible. Is it?"
"He still is angered over imagined slights," Thor said, shaking his head. "We fought together, we played together. We were raised as brothers, and it was what I believed him to be. Our friends believed it to be so, and none truly thought ill of him until he usurped our father's place."
Natasha zeroed in on the phrase "imagined slights." That would be the key. Just because Thor didn't understand Loki's point of view didn't mean nothing happened. "Did he ever mention particular things to you? Events from before the time Odin fell into the Odinsleep?"
Thor shook his head, lost in thought. "We fought, we played childish games as brothers do. He was far more skilled in letters and the seidr, and I was champion on the field. Differences in our expertise, perhaps, but no less important."
"Did you always feel that way?"
His silence spoke volumes.
"And when Odin fell asleep?" Natasha asked gently.
"I was already exiled," Thor said slowly, looking at a point just past Natasha's ear. It was painful for him, and Natasha had to tell herself that this was necessary. She wasn't putting him through this for no reason. She wasn't delighting in his misery, but the scar on her abdomen seemed to pulse in pleasure.
"Natasha," Clint said after a moment, uncomfortable with Thor's wounded silence.
"Hold, friend," Thor murmured, shaking his head. "I am well. The Lady wishes to understand my brother's imaginings, the better to work with him." At her nod, he gave her a grimace of a smile. "I grieved, believing myself unworthy. He appeared to me, telling me of the Odinsleep, that I was not to return home. I had lost the respect of friends and family, I had no place. I was outcast, lost to time and place. It was not true, and my friends sought to correct the mistake. Even after the Allfather woke, when Loki's deeds were brought to light, he continued to lie. Rather than return to Asgard, he chose to fall and be lost to us."
Natasha's gut tightened with his words, but her expression remained neutral. "What if he feels that way now?"
"I offer kinship!" Thor exclaimed, surprised. "I did not steal his birthright or dishonor him as he may claim. I call him brother and I wish it were still so!"
"I understand that," she said slowly, clearly. Natasha reached forward and touched the back of Thor's hand. "But you said he imagined that he was wronged. What if he felt unworthy all this time? What if he still feels that way now?"
"I would correct this misunderstanding," Thor declared earnestly, eyes nearly lighting up at the thought. "We could be brothers once more."
She rather doubted that, but kept silent for a moment. "He wants some kind of recognition," she began slowly. "He told me that much. Rather than rushing in, this might be something best worked on slowly. Gain his trust."
Thor seemed to understand that, nodding. "The Chitauri are unknown to Asgard, so when he had fallen from the Bifrost, he could have run afoul of those creatures."
"There was something else there," Clint said abruptly. Both Natasha and Thor turned to look at him. "I couldn't see it, but it looked like sometimes he was talking with someone. He never looked right afterward, like he was in pain. I couldn't question it at the time."
Natasha had never heard of that before, but she hadn't wanted to pry before he was ready to discuss it. That wasn't their way. Rolling the information around in her head, she thought carefully about the way he had interacted with her so far. "He likes to be in control, and he had been stripped of much of that. Loki wasn't the older brother growing up, and he wasn't as good as you in armed combat. If Asgard is anything like the Norse eddas, his gifts with magic wouldn't have been appreciated. He would have felt unvalued, with no control or power."
Though he looked like he wanted to contest that assessment, Thor didn't. He nodded slowly after a moment. Clint mouthed Norse eddas? at her, but didn't interrupt.
"The recognition he wants might not be from you, Thor. He may want it someday, I don't know, but right now, you probably remind him of what he's lost."
"I offer friendship..." Thor protested.
"He may not be ready to take it."
Clint looked at Natasha closely. "Are you offering, then?"
"I have Fury's orders."
Not the same thing, and they both knew it. Thor chose to interpret it that way, and he looked at her with a broad, confident smile. "Your heart is kind and wondrous. It will show him the error of his ways, I am sure."
Looking vaguely ill, Clint looked away. You have heart, Loki had said before enslaving his mind and twisting him. Occasionally, he still had nightmares, though Natasha didn't know all of the details. She assumed it was of attacking the helicarrier or finding the mercenaries to work for Loki. He still carried far too much guilt for that, though he likely would never accept absolution of that grief.
"I can only do my best," Natasha told Thor gently. "We'll have to wait and see."
***
"So is it Hydra or Loki that's your focus now?" Clint asked as they walked toward a SHIELD gym. He had his collapsible compound bow in hand, and she had knives. Most junior agents scurried to get out of their way.
"I have both orders," she replied, voice neutral. "Apparently it's not a mutually exclusive task."
"There's also protecting Foster," he remarked as they entered the range portion of the gym. "I know you didn't want to be on that detail."
"Loki thought I'd be there. That's reason enough for me not to be."
"Oh?" he asked, curious as he snapped the bow open.
She inspected the case full of knives that she had brought with her. "He's bested me twice now. I won't be able to protect Dr. Foster. Not physically, anyway." Natasha pursed her lips and looked up at him. It was on the tip of her tongue to say He marked me, but the syllables refused to form at all.
"It's not like you to be afraid."
"It's not fear, it's being realistic. Someone like a god goes up against a mortal..." She shrugged slightly and looked at the edge of her blade critically. "Better that other godlike beings are there if he does show up."
"You're piecing together a dossier," Clint guessed, reaching into his quiver for an arrow.
"I need to know what he wants in order to bring him in."
They didn't discuss the fact that he had brought her in that way. He had tracked her for months before approaching her. Clint had seen the exhaustion in her eyes, the droop in her stance. He had seen someone worth saving even if she didn't believe herself worthy of it, and she had worked to prove him right. It was a debt she likely could never fully repay, but that wouldn't stop her from trying.
Clint fired off a few arrows and she practiced her precision knife throwing. They worked in companionable silence in neighboring aisles of the range. It was quieter than the pistol range, at least. Walking over to collect the ammunition to start again, he looked over at her. "Not everyone can be redeemed," he murmured slowly. His blunt fingers rubbed the edge of one arrowhead, his gaze distant. "I know Fury wants you to try, and that you'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Loki is crazy, Tash. Even you can't predict him." He paused, then put the arrow away before looking at her. "Before, when he had control over me... What I remember is garbled and faded now. He doesn't think the way we do."
"I would imagine few do," she replied with a sardonic twist to her lips.
As she had hoped, he laughed a little. "I guess not," he agreed. He collected the last few arrows and gave her a knife she hadn't retrieved yet. "Magic takes a lot out of him. He had looked sick at the time to start with, so that hadn't helped the situation. But it was stressful, made him an even edgier, crazy bastard. I remember being worried about him, thinking it would break him apart and destroy what was left of his mind."
Natasha's gaze sharpened. "What was left of his mind?" she echoed.
"I never got the details. But he had the same look in his eyes as traumatized field agents. You know how that is."
Yes, she did. That could explain so much of what had happened. Falling off of a broken Bifrost, getting involved with the Chitauri, being physically ill and still trying to put on the façade for everyone that he was in control and invincible...
"He wants recognition," Natasha murmured as they walked back to the start. "I never asked what kind it was that he was looking for."
"He wanted to be a king," Clint replied. "Is there any other kind for him?"
She looked at the point of her blade and down the length of the range. Throwing it, the knife hit the bull's eye and was buried to the hilt. "I suppose not."
"Careful, Tash," he said softly. "Don't lose yourself bringing him in."
Natasha looked at him, her own gaze softening. There was too much unsaid between them, too much she would never be able to articulate. "Not if I have you with me."
Clint flashed her a wild, reckless grin as he shot off his own bull's eye. "Always."
***
Natasha found Jane and Sif in Stark Tower. She couldn't quite bring herself to think of it as Avengers Tower yet, as much as Stark said he intended to create areas that each member of the team could call home. Bruce Banner was there, working in one of the labs that Stark had generously provided him, and Jane had come to consult with him regarding radiation patterns in her bridge that she couldn't quite get right. The two apparently had conversed in advanced scientific terms for hours before Natasha had arrived, because Sif looked ready to hit something out of boredom.
"Perhaps you and I could talk," Natasha said to Sif, her voice pitched low enough not to carry over to the two scientists.
Sif sat at attention, and now diverted her gaze toward Natasha. She carried herself as if the civilian clothing she wore was armor, defeating its purpose to help her blend in. Tall and with sleek black hair, Sif was very obviously there to watch over Jane's safety. Jane seemed largely oblivious to that fact, poring over complicated equations and discussing variables with Bruce. Prior to meeting Thor in the desert outside of Puente Antiguo, Jane hadn't had to consider sheer strength and combat skills in people she knew. She still wasn't very good at it, overlooking Natasha's entrance completely. The redhead had come on a social call, so she was in a simple shirt and jeans.
"The Director of SHIELD is considering having Loki do consulting work." Sif immediately lost interest in Jane and stared at Natasha incredulously. "You know him."
"Of the lies his silver tongue drips into the ears of those willing to believe them," she corrected, scorn readily evident in her voice. Narrowing her eyes at Natasha, she seemed to weigh her next words carefully. "Once, I might have named him friend. But his pride and foul desires for power destroyed any such feeling that might have existed. He is a creature that will twist any good intent your director may have for such an association."
"Can his powers be bound?"
That surprised Sif. "Using his magic against him? Or for your cause?"
"Is it possible? I've been reading Norse eddas in the hopes of understanding the culture a bit more, but it's likely been corrupted over time."
"I have not heard these tales of which you speak."
"They're stories of Norse gods, the troubles and trials they've undergone, and some mention Loki." Natasha paused. "In those tales, he has children."
Sif let out a short, huffing breath that might have been an amused snort. "He did not sire any offspring. The tales are wrong."
"Was there ever a giantess he was involved with? Or someone commissioned to build a wall around Asgard?"
Now she laughed a little. "Perhaps all tales begin with a grain of truth. Those ruling Helheim certainly claim him as kin, and Hel is said to resemble him." She looked at Natasha appraisingly. "There is caution in you. The Man of Iron would not tread so carefully. He had goaded Loki, tried to match wits. The others went to battle."
"I used his misperceptions about me against him once. I doubt I'll be able to do that again."
"He is a sly one," she agreed, looking back at Jane when she made a startled noise. It was simply in response to Bruce pointing out an error in the work she had been doing, leading to furious scribbling and more intense astrophysics jargon.
"What can you tell me about who he used to be?"
Now Sif sighed, keeping her eyes on Jane. "We were little more than children. Petty squabbles, callow dreams, insults not meant to harm. I unmanned him, he cut my hair. There were taunts about his magicks, and Thor generously offered to share his spoils. It was not malicious in intent, but Thor tells me Loki deems it so."
"I believe he does."
"I had never considered before that he might have been inspired by misery, that he would have held such hurt." Her voice was quiet, pained. "Too much has passed since then, and it cannot be undone or repaired."
"You don't think so?" Natasha asked Sif gently, curious. "What if it could be?"
She shook her head and kept her gaze fixed on Jane. "His heart has been hardened through misery and his own misfortune. If he cannot see as others do, cannot let go of these harms he believes we inflicted, he will not reconcile. He will not return to Asgard unless it is to burn it to ashes and dance on our graves." She turned to Natasha, expression pained. "It is his way. He is a proud, vain creature. As we all are, in our way. Loki will not admit fault in himself, will not see a different path than the one he has set himself on. So now we are adversaries, and I will slay him if I must, even if it pains me to do so."
"Would you stop us if I convince him to join SHIELD?"
Sif gave Natasha a sad smile. "If you could perform this feat, it would be miraculous indeed."
***
"You've been quite curious about me," Loki said as he slid into a seat beside Natasha at an outdoor café. She and Clint had been sitting there in silence, each nursing a latte and enjoying the summer evening. It was a rare spate of rest, especially considering that the junior agents had taken the Odessa Hydra base apart and were analyzing its contents. Likely more locations would be found soon, and Natasha would be on the move. Clint was working with Stark to watch over Jane as she reconstructed the Bifrost.
Interstellar travel would be a draw for Loki and could be weaponized. Technology like that could not be allowed to fall into the wrong hands.
Clint tensed immediately at the sound of Loki's voice, but the trickster was looking intently at Natasha. "Little spider," he purred, "Whatever are you looking for?"
"Something that might help you get proper recognition."
He stilled, head tilted to the side as he contemplated her. "So you are holding up your end of the bargain, then." He reached out and traced a finger along the inside of her wrist, right along the seam he had knitted back together. "Interesting."
"If an apology was ever offered for past grievances," Natasha began, using her other hand to lift her latte to her lips, "would you accept it?" Her tone was casual, pretending Loki's presence didn't bother her.
Loki snatched his hand away from hers as if burned. "You will get no such thing."
"Isn't that recognition?" she asked.
He shot to his feet, visibly disturbed. "This is not the purpose, little spider. Careful whose webs you seek to unravel." Loki watched her drink calmly for a moment, then slid his eyes toward Clint. He took in their postures, the way they had been watching passersby quietly, the evening heat not so oppressive. "Do you remember?" he asked Clint, eyeing him closely. "Can you recall the threads that bound you to me, the control I held over you?" Loki leaned in, a crazed look in his eyes.
Natasha put a hand to Loki's chest and pushed gently. He actually followed the movement and sank back into his seat. "There are other options," she said mildly, as if Clint wasn't sitting with every muscle taut and ready to spring.
"Oh? Do tell."
"There are occasionally practitioners of magic on Earth-"
"Childish pranks," Loki scoffed, leaning back in his seat arrogantly. "It's not true magic."
"-and your expertise would be greatly respected and valued."
Loki remained silent as Clint glared at him and Natasha sipped her latte. "I would think you have more need of me than I of you."
"What good is an expert if there is no one there to recognize it?" she returned. "This is a separate realm from Asgard. Their rules don't apply here."
A slow, sinister smile stretched across his lips. "Indeed, they do not."
"I remember," Clint said abruptly, his eyes fixed on Loki. "And I remember the threads that bound you," he added, voice hard. "Is someone out there still pulling on them?"
Loki's expression contorted into rage, but Natasha merely put down her cup. "Perhaps there are other benefits to offer you, then," she said.
"You are not so powerful," Loki sneered at her.
"Not alone."
He stood, the sneer still stretched across his lips. His entire body seemed to thrum with tension, and he struck an almost aggressive pose. "You are nothing. You have nothing."
"I'm sure the Chitauri enjoyed the nuclear missiles," Clint replied, a hard edge to his voice.
"Their master worships death," Loki replied. "You cannot escape his notice now."
"Stay here long enough, he'll find you, too."
Loki made a frustrated sound and left as abruptly as he came, not looking backward. Clint waited a beat until he was calm enough to face Natasha. "Fury made a mistake with this."
"Too late to be undone," she murmured gently, reaching out to him across the table. Though Clint didn't know about them, his fingers found the invisible line across her wrist where Loki's knife and sealing spells had been. She shivered at the contact, meeting his eyes. "I know what will happen if I fail with this. Loki will remain untethered and will practically have free rein to do what he likes. The Council will pin the blame on me."
"Screw the Council. I'm worried about you."
Natasha pushed away any fears she might have had about herself. That didn't matter as much to her, as long as Clint remained safe and she still had the trust of those in SHIELD command. She didn't know what Loki had planned, but it couldn't be good.
Creatures that worshipped death generally didn't fear it.
***
***