Song of the Nightingale, 5/8. NC-17.
Title: Song of the Nightingale
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17 for mentions of violence and eventually graphic sex. (That will be marked when I get there.) Read the Warnings, people!
Pairing: Katie Bell/Marcus Flint.
Disclaimer: They originally belonged to JKR. I nicked her toys without permission. I sincerely doubt she'd like what I'm doing with them anyway.
Spoilers/Warnings: This is post-DH (minus the Epilogue of Doom) AU. As in, somehow during the Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort didn't die. I start off with a bang, sometimes vaguely or not so vaguely referencing past physical and sexual violence. This is not a happy place to be in, and it's dark as all hell. Fits the "rape recovery" box on my
hc_bingo card.
Summary: Voldemort won the Battle of Hogwarts, and the Wizarding World was transformed into the world of his vision. Six years later, Potions Master Marcus Flint purchased a group of Mudbloods for experimentation. This was not supposed to be a difficult occurrence.
Prior chapters:
One - Bought And Sold
Two - Moving Through Nightmares
Three - Discovering A Loophole
Four - Experimentation
I mentioned there was porn eventually... This is the chapter where it starts.
Tired and listing through the halls, Katie sank down to the floor near a bedroom on the third floor. She was allowed to go outside, as the torc had been the thing limiting where she was allowed to go. But she didn't know where anything was anymore. The thought of stepping outside of the house, of seeing the whole wide world outside of this house, was almost enough to trigger a panic attack. She knew how things worked inside the house. For all that he said her blood status was different, her role in the house hadn't changed. She was the housekeeper and the test subject. She was wrung dry of tears, her throat scraped raw by screaming from the pain of organ regeneration.
She could smell smoke, and moved to look out of the window. Black smoke was rising from the outbuilding; another muggleborn witch or wizard dead from the experiments. She supposed she was lucky she wasn't one of them.
Marcus found her in the early evening, still leaning against the window and looking toward the outbuilding. "So you know I lost another one today," he murmured from the doorway.
"How difficult for you," she replied, her tongue thick and bulky in her mouth.
Obviously displeased, Marcus nearly growled at her. "We're going for a walk."
He lifted her easily and guided her out of the room as if he was a gallant and she was a mademoiselle. He caught her when she stumbled on the threshold to the back porch, and didn't say anything when he helped her down to the grassy yard separating his home from the outbuilding. It seemed impossibly far, but they crossed the distance in little time at all. He didn't say anything, his face a stony mask. Katie wondered what he was thinking, then decided she didn't need to know.
Marcus was thinking that she needed to know what he actually did. Her situation was different and had been from the start. If things had been the way they usually were, she would have been placed in the outbuilding along with the others, exposed to diseases and testing new potion variants. Because of her situation, she was subject to much more painful tests than the others. He watched her face carefully as they walked through the observation hall. He had purchased another set of muggleborns, so that there were ten people. Each had their own little room, and there was a common room. Upon leaving their little bedrooms, a bubblehead charm was automatically placed over their heads and sterilization charms were set on their hands and clothing. That limited the cross contamination from one room to the next, as each subject was infected with something different. Katie's eyes were large, but her expression was unreadable as she watched them play cards together or read books quietly next to the window. It wasn't some kind of awful place, even if there was the risk of death.
She was still quiet when he brought her back out into the yard. "This isn't what you thought it was, is it?" he asked in a low tone.
"I suppose not."
Marcus stopped and cupped her face in his hand, his thumb near her mouth. Her eyes were wide and almost frightened, and she seemed poised to run. "Can't I kiss my wife?" he asked in an almost mocking tone. He had asked for this, he knew. After what she had been through, there was no way this would be easy. But he vaguely remembered her from school when he had looked through the dossier, the brunette spitfire that had taken the abuse on the pitch and kept coming back for more, as if to prove that the game shouldn't be different just because she was a girl. He had admired that spirit even as it was a pain in the ass to plan strategies against. Sometimes that spirit almost shone through; whatever Ruisart Nott had done, he hadn't completely destroyed her.
Katie's lips trembled and she backed up a half step. Marcus followed her, his face a careful blank mask. It wouldn't do to have his frustration show. He knew where she was coming from, after all. She had only known pain so far, and no one had shown her an ounce of kindness. At best, Marcus had been utterly indifferent. That was better than hatred, perhaps, but only just.
Marcus leaned down, lips hovering in front of hers for a fraction before pressing them against hers. She made a soft frightened noise, her hands fisted at her sides. Marcus kept one hand cupping her face and slid the other about her waist. His touch was light, and she could easily run from him if he overwhelmed her. But he kept the kiss shallow, only the press of lips gently against hers. They were soft and dry, the bottom lip with cracks in places. Marcus pulled back slightly and ran his thumb against that lower lip, seeing her blink back tears. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, his voice as gentle as he knew how.
"You said this wasn't why you wanted me," Katie whimpered. "You said..."
"Things change, don't they?"
"You weren't supposed to do this," she said, her voice cracking. "I can't... You can't..."
Marcus tightened his hand on her hip a fraction, and her voice shattered. She took a great shuddering breath, and suddenly Marcus wanted to kill Ruisart Nott, damn the consequences. "We're going back inside now."
She was relieved, but he didn't intend to let her simply go back and play housekeeper. Marcus led her up to his bedroom, and she painfully pale and skittish. "This isn't a good idea," Katie said, shaking her head. "I should go. I should get dinner ready..."
He was standing in front of the shut door to his bedroom, making no move to let her leave. "Stay. Take off your clothes," he told her. He realized after the fact that he probably should have said something different. She reacted as if slapped, jerking backward and nearly tripping over her own stockinged feet. He opened his mouth to say something else, maybe even to apologize for how that sounded, but she reached for the hem of the robe with shaking fingers.
Katie stripped down to the skin, shoulders hunched and head bowed. After a moment's hesitation, she laid down on the bed and spread her legs wide as she stared up at the ceiling. Maybe if she cooperated, it wouldn't hurt as much and it would be over quickly. Her lips trembled when she heard his growl, and she tried to spread her legs wider. She turned her face to the side and let her eyes fall shut to keep from sobbing.
The bed dipped as Marcus sat beside her. He laid a hand on the valley between her breasts. Her heart was beating at a rapid pace, and he could almost see her pulse leap in her throat. "I have never forced a woman in my life," he said in a low voice. "I have no intention of forcing you against your will," he began slowly, withdrawing his hand. "I can make you want this."
"Arrogant, aren't you?" she choked out, then bit her lip in fear.
"Sit up," Marcus sighed. Confused, she did so. "This isn't how I meant this to happen."
Katie swallowed nervously, but it felt like a lump had formed in her throat and her chest was tight. "Then what did you mean to happen?"
"I'll bed you, of course," he said, brushing her hair from her shoulders. "It would be more pleasant for us both if we could agree on that."
"I don't... I don't want to," Katie said in a small voice. "Please don't make me."
Marcus looked into her eyes. "He hurt you very much, didn't he?" She nodded, biting her lip. "I'm not him. I want you to understand that."
"I can't not remember," she whispered. "It's always there."
"I don't think it's right to take your memories of that away, though I almost wish I could," Marcus admitted. He touched the curve of her cheek gently, startling her. "If I do that, you lose your family. You lose a part of who you are."
"I thought you said I was a Lestrange," Katie said almost bitterly.
"So you are. And you're a Flint now," Marcus said easily, sliding his hand down to the point where her neck met her shoulders. She shivered at the contact, but she wasn't pushing him away. "Lie back. I'll take care of you." She was shaking her head, her lips trembling. "Katie," he murmured, and she looked at him with a plaintive expression. "I'll take care of you." She bit her lip and nodded when he tucked her hair behind an ear.
Katie allowed him to reposition her diagonally on the bed, her head on his pillow. She clutched at it with a tight grip, taking deep, shuddering breaths. She was drowning in the scent of him as he moved to lie on his stomach, his hands at her hips and his mouth hovering just over the juncture of her thighs. Even when he raised her knees, his touch was nothing like what she'd felt before, and Nott certainly hadn't done this.
Marcus had liked going down on girls in the past, and he knew this would be a better way to start with Katie. Her legs trembled, and her breathing hitched when his mouth descended over her. He licked her folds carefully, patiently, tracing her from the outside in. His fingers ghosted over the insides of her thighs, setting them to trembling. He was patient, licking at her gently for some time before even approaching her clit. She was frightened, too much an innocent. It was rather like dealing with a skittish virgin, he realized, and that helped him figure out what he needed to do with her. She needed to be taught that not all touch was horrible or painful.
He worked his tongue over her folds, inside her dry sheath, then up and around her clit. She let out a shuddering breath, and Marcus took that as a good sign. He continued patiently, laving at her in gentle circles. When she started to make a whining noise deep within her throat, he smiled and slipped a fingertip inside her. She was starting to grow damp, and Marcus kept at his same slow pace. Her breaths grew harsh, and her back arched up off the bed. "Let me hear you," he said, his breath ghosting over the damp flesh. "I need to know what works for you."
Katie let out a soft whimper as he slid his finger further inside her. To her surprise, he had been so very gentle, and was drawing her response out bit by bit. One hand still held his pillow tight, but her other moved to grasp the coverlet in her fist. Her entire body was tightening, and all she could do was feel as he moved his finger inside of her and his lips gently tugged on her clit. She let out a low moan when he sucked on it, tongue swirling around it in lazy circles, then back to licking stripes against it.
It was almost like a game. He could make her breath shatter with one kind of line across her clit, could make her groan with another. She was starting to tighten around his finger, and he kept sliding it in and out of her at a steady rhythm. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head, her back arched up, and Marcus smiled against her mound. She might not have believed him, but he was determined to prove to her that sex with him could be pleasurable.
Even after she came with a soft cry, he kept licking at her. He crooked his finger inside her, making her gasp and her thighs tremble. The pleasure shot through her, and Marcus kept licking and sucking at her swollen clit. She moaned, writhing beneath his lips, grasping at the coverlet. Marcus slid another finger into her, finding her wet and ready. Her body might have been ready, but he didn't think her mind was ready just yet. She came again, her body clamping down tight around his fingers. He kissed his way up, adjusting his position and moving her leg out of his way. Katie whimpered as he moved his fingers inside of her at a steady rhythm, his thumb grazing her clit. Marcus licked his way up her torso, then moved to take a breast into his mouth. Katie gasped, arching into his mouth. He moved her hand from the coverlet to his shoulder, silently giving her permission to touch him. He wanted her to touch him. He wanted her to feel him, to move beneath him, to eventually crave his touch. He rolled his tongue over her nipple, feeling it rise to a peak between his lips. She came again, and still he moved over her, not yet ready to stop. This was an elaborate kind of preparation, but he didn't want to sink inside of her until she was given over to him completely. Otherwise, he wasn't sure if he would trigger a memory of her past abuse.
Katie sank her nails into his shoulder, crying out in pleasure at the next orgasm. Marcus moved his mouth to her other breast, shifting his position again. He was hovering over more of her body now, but her head was still thrown back and her legs were splayed wide for him. She panted, head lolling on the pillow, her dark hair spread in a halo around her head. Adrian thought this was a mistake, but suddenly Marcus couldn't help but think that this fit somehow, that this was exactly the way things should be.
The next time she came, Marcus removed his mouth and fingers from her body. She made an incoherent mewl of protest, but he was stripping the clothes from his body. He was rock hard and aching for her, and held her hands above her head as he drove into her with a single thrust. She moaned at the feel of him, and he used one hand to tilt her hips for better access. She arched up against him, head lolling, and Marcus seized her mouth with his. Her lips were slack, and he slid his tongue between them to stroke hers. She gasped, mouth opening wide, and he lazily explored her mouth even as he pumped himself deeply into her, feeling as though he was sliding home.
He came in a rush, feeling her tighten around him as she was closing in on another orgasm. A few more thrusts and she shuddered, gasping for breath and moaning with the release.
It didn't seem to occur to her right away how thoroughly he covered her, that she was pinned to the bed beneath his weight. Marcus could almost see the exact moment she realized it, as her eyes widened a fraction and her breath hitched in her chest. He rolled off of her then, before she could even whimper, and simply lay on the bed next to her. Katie blinked in surprise, then looked over at him in confusion. "Is that...?"
"Is that what?" he asked, propping his head up on an elbow to look at her.
"Is that what it's supposed to be like?" she asked in a small voice. Marcus merely nodded, and he watched her expression shutter.
Katie curled up on her side, her back facing Marcus. She felt so small and vulnerable then, almost used. He pulled her close, her back tight against his front, and she resisted the urge to cry. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be in love with her husband. She was supposed to have married someone that loved her. She was supposed to have a wonderful life and a wonderful family, and magic was only supposed to augment that life.
Marcus stroked her arm gently, feeling her gradually grow more relaxed in his embrace. "You'll stay with me now," he murmured, feeling the need to say it aloud. "You are my wife, after all."
Her heart felt small and shriveled, and his words brought her no comfort at all. He didn't realize it, couldn't possibly. He thought he was doing the right thing, she knew. He thought this was the way it was supposed to be. He didn't know any better.
But she did, and she felt the loss keenly, mourning the life she would never have.
***
Katie woke early, hyperventilating after waking from a nightmare she couldn't remember. Marcus was still asleep, an arm and leg tossed carelessly over her sprawled form. He seemed content in his sleep, and Katie slipped out from underneath his arm. She was sticky and felt stretched out in places. She wasn't entirely comfortable using Marcus' attached bathroom, but she wasn't about to run about the house starkers. She bowed her head beneath the shower spray, taking deep breaths. All right. He wasn't terrible, not completely, and wasn't nasty to her. But she still felt helpless, still felt like a pawn tossed about between these Death Eaters.
"You couldn't sleep?"
Katie whirled around and saw Marcus' head peeking about the shower curtain. He was sleepy-looking, rubbing at his eyes and then looking at her. "I don't sleep well," Katie said. She was tempted to look away from his open expression, but if she kept eye contact, at least he wasn't gawking at her.
"Oh. I'll join you."
Before Katie could protest, Marcus ducked behind the shower curtain with her. She tried to back away and leave, but he slid a hand around her waist. It was a slow slide, his open palm gliding across the skin and his fingers curling around her hipbone. His other hand slid up from the rise of her breast to her shoulder, and he leaned in to kiss her, the water falling across his broad back. Katie grasped his arms, intending to push him back. But her head tilted back and their mouths met. It was strange for Katie, to be standing there with his hands on her and not feel any panic, to have his tongue trace her lips and not want to bite down on it. She opened her mouth under his, and he made a soft satisfied noise as he deepened the kiss.
Dear God, what am I doing? she thought suddenly, breaking the kiss to breathe. Marcus slid his hands around her, simply holding her, a content humming sound deep in throat. "I don't usually sleep well either," he said in a quiet voice. "Last night I slept very well."
"How lovely for you," Katie murmured, not sure what to say.
He laughed and leaned back to start washing his hair. "We'll get you settled in here today." He didn't say anything when she nodded and ducked out of the shower. By the time he got out, she was dried off and dressed in the same gray robe from the day before. Marcus pulled a face as his eyes raked over it. "We'll need to get a seamstress to build a proper wardrobe for you. I've put it off far too long."
"There's no point, is there?" Katie asked. "I can't exactly scrub floors in a ball gown."
Marcus frowned, but let the point go. "I suppose not."
She tried to go through her usual daily routine, but Marcus was starting to find her throughout the day. His gaze was uncomfortable; she kept having the feeling that he was thinking of peeling the robe back and sinking himself inside her. She kept up with the housekeeping. If she did the work well, if there was nothing to find fault with, there would be no reason for things to change. Oh, he said things were different now that she was legally a Halfblood, but even the sex was part of the experimentation on her. His only intention was to get her pregnant, to see if her newly grown womb could sustain a pregnancy until birth. This didn't guarantee her a permanent position in the household, really. Women died in childbirth all the time. It wouldn't take much to kill her once the child was born. But if she was useful, if she had a place in the household beside bed warmer, she would likely survive the birth. Katie had to believe in that.
With his gaze heavy on her, Katie couldn't help but think about the way his hands had felt on her neck and back, firm and strong against her body. He hadn't forced her, hadn't hurt her. The spells had hurt, the tests had been uncomfortable, and she hated the situation she had been in when she met him. But he hadn't actually harmed her, and his touch against her skin had been clinical at worst, protective at best. It was maddening, and she couldn't figure it out.
"Enough of that," Marcus said after watching her a few hours. It was almost time to prepare lunch, and he pressed his fingers over her lips to forestall her saying so. "Come with me."
Katie stopped breathing when she realized he was taking her to his bedroom. He stripped down to the skin and then flopped onto his bed. She stared at him dumbly, wondering if she could gracefully exit and run out of the house. He patted the bed beside him, and Katie could feel the blood drain from her face. "I should go."
"Don't be silly. Come here."
She took steps forward numbly. He hadn't forced her yet, she reminded herself. He didn't look ready to force her now. "This isn't a good idea," she whispered.
Marcus grasped her wrist and pulled her to the bed next to him. "You're my wife," he said in a low tone. "Of course it's a good idea."
Chest tight, Katie watched helplessly as he pulled the robe up over her legs, baring them to his view. He looked up at her face after a moment and stopped. "You really are frightened of this, aren't you?" he asked in wonder, as if he hadn't believed it before. Katie nodded, fingers twisting in her lap uncertainly. "Come on, let's get this off of you. I have an idea."
Drab gray robe tossed aside, Katie felt too exposed and helpless. But Marcus flopped onto his back again. "This time, you take charge. You touch me." Marcus laughed at her startled expression. "This is different, isn't it? This shouldn't remind you of anything."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked in a quiet voice. I'm nothing to you. Not that long ago, I was less than nothing.
Marcus slid his fingertips along the edge of her thigh, looking at her appreciatively. "We should get along well, shouldn't we?" he asked in a quiet tone. "I take the vows seriously."
"We never actually said them," Katie pointed out.
He took her hand, realizing he hadn't yet bothered to even give her a ring. "I promise to protect you, to watch over you and to keep you safe."
There was nothing about fidelity or honor, but Katie merely nodded. She couldn't expect more. "I can't promise the same."
"I don't ask for that." Marcus tugged on her hand. "Come on. You touch me. There must be something you've wanted to touch."
"Not particularly." She looked up and saw his aggrieved expression and couldn't help but laugh. She then clapped her hands over her mouth, but Marcus smiled as well. She hesitantly placed her fingers over the center of his chest. "You touch me here a lot." She slid her hand up to his neck, her fingers brushing the side of it. "Or here."
Marcus placed his own hand on the rise of her breast, sliding it up to cup the base of her throat. "The skin here was untouched. That's what I compare the rest to." He slid his fingers along the column of her throat, feeling her swallow. "And this is a sign of trust, isn't it? You trust I won't harm you. You're safe with me."
"I don't think you'd deliberately hurt me," Katie murmured, shifting her position almost uncomfortably. His words were too close to the truth; she didn't think he would whip, beat or rape her, but she was constantly afraid that he might change.
He let out a hiss of breath when her hand brushed across his lower abdomen. "Keep doing that," he said in a guttural tone. He slid his hand from her neck to her face as the blush rose along her cheeks. "Just explore a bit. Maybe that will get you over your fear."
"I don't think it's that simple," Katie replied tartly.
"Maybe," he began slowly. "But it has to start somewhere, doesn't it?"
Hesitantly, Katie slid her hand a little lower. His cock was slowly rising into her palm, and she locked eyes with his. He nodded encouragingly and sighed when she grasped it. She moved her hand over him slowly at first, watching his face carefully. "Is this all right?" she asked after a moment. She felt like an utter idiot. "Or do I need it like you did yesterday? With your mouth?"
"Merlin, yes," he groaned, tilting his hips up into her hand. He moved his own hand along her hip, nudging her thighs apart. Katie adjusted her stance, her hand tightening on him for a moment as his fingers traced her inner thigh. "Like that. I like it like that." He looked at her, gaze heavy with lust and longing as he watched her shiver. She was growing wet, slick with her building arousal. "This is good," he murmured, tracing her folds with his fingertips. She inhaled sharply when his fingers brushed against her clit, her movement erratic over his cock. He gestured with his other hand for her to lean down, and when she did so, he pulled her in for a kiss. Her mouth was open already, and Marcus slid his tongue along the inside of her lips, touching her teeth and tongue. It was almost a dance, movement and retreat, tease and follow, something that only made every touch along his skin fever bright.
Katie shuddered when she came, startled and clamping down hard around his fingers inside of her. Her hand was tighter around his cock, almost painfully so. He pulled on her hips, urging her to straddle his waist. "You take control here," he groaned. She looked at him with wide eyes, appearing so fucking innocent. He guided himself to her entrance, then thrust upward into her in one hard stroke. She gasped at the sudden fullness, shifting her legs around his body. "Yes," he groaned, tilting his hips to thrust even more deeply into her. Katie leaned forward, her hands on his shoulders, and he grasped her hips to help her keep balance. The pace was fast and hard, the new angle allowing him to sink in deeper and harder into her.
Katie moaned, feeling heat spreading in her belly, an urgency building within her. It was almost heartbreaking, that she could feel this without feeling anything for him, that she was going through the motions of love without having it. But then he rolled his hips beneath her, his hands almost painfully tight on her hips, quickening his pace. She was teetering on the edge of coming again, a desperate tightness wanting to burst out of her. She was so exquisitely sensitive, more than she had realized, more than he knew, and she threw her head back as she gasped for air. On impulse, Marcus craned his neck upward to catch a nipple between his lips, tugging gently. It was enough to send her reeling, and she came with a cry. She was tight around him, clamped even tighter, her body starting to milk him. Groaning, Marcus came, moving his hands to her back to support her.
But she collapsed gracelessly on top of him, panting, her eyes closed as she struggled for breath. She shivered as his hands roamed across her back, as she felt his cock twitch inside of her. What could she say about herself now? She could have left. She could have walked away, and he wouldn't have stopped her.
Maybe that was why she didn't. He gave her the option to leave, to stop if she grew too uncomfortable. He wanted her to feel pleasure in this, wanted her to crave his touch. It should be pleasant, he had said, and she had to suppress the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out of her. Of course sex was supposed to be pleasant. It hadn't been for her in the past, but that hadn't been sex. Therein lay the difference.
Marcus cradled the back of her head with his hands, stroking the nape of her neck gently. He could almost feel the wheels turning inside of her head, and he couldn't even begin to guess at what it meant. She didn't turn from him, at least. She stayed where she was, her face tucked against his neck. "Doing okay?" he asked. She nodded, and he stroked her back. "Stay here with me today. I've taken the day off. No research today."
"Okay," Katie murmured against his throat. She felt tired and lazy, her eyes sliding shut. She would be indispensable. She would do whatever needed to be done. She would be needed, and that would keep her alive, even if her soul felt empty and hollow.
***
***
On To Chapter Six
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17 for mentions of violence and eventually graphic sex. (That will be marked when I get there.) Read the Warnings, people!
Pairing: Katie Bell/Marcus Flint.
Disclaimer: They originally belonged to JKR. I nicked her toys without permission. I sincerely doubt she'd like what I'm doing with them anyway.
Spoilers/Warnings: This is post-DH (minus the Epilogue of Doom) AU. As in, somehow during the Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort didn't die. I start off with a bang, sometimes vaguely or not so vaguely referencing past physical and sexual violence. This is not a happy place to be in, and it's dark as all hell. Fits the "rape recovery" box on my
hc_bingo card.
Summary: Voldemort won the Battle of Hogwarts, and the Wizarding World was transformed into the world of his vision. Six years later, Potions Master Marcus Flint purchased a group of Mudbloods for experimentation. This was not supposed to be a difficult occurrence.
Prior chapters:
One - Bought And Sold
Two - Moving Through Nightmares
Three - Discovering A Loophole
Four - Experimentation
I mentioned there was porn eventually... This is the chapter where it starts.
Tired and listing through the halls, Katie sank down to the floor near a bedroom on the third floor. She was allowed to go outside, as the torc had been the thing limiting where she was allowed to go. But she didn't know where anything was anymore. The thought of stepping outside of the house, of seeing the whole wide world outside of this house, was almost enough to trigger a panic attack. She knew how things worked inside the house. For all that he said her blood status was different, her role in the house hadn't changed. She was the housekeeper and the test subject. She was wrung dry of tears, her throat scraped raw by screaming from the pain of organ regeneration.
She could smell smoke, and moved to look out of the window. Black smoke was rising from the outbuilding; another muggleborn witch or wizard dead from the experiments. She supposed she was lucky she wasn't one of them.
Marcus found her in the early evening, still leaning against the window and looking toward the outbuilding. "So you know I lost another one today," he murmured from the doorway.
"How difficult for you," she replied, her tongue thick and bulky in her mouth.
Obviously displeased, Marcus nearly growled at her. "We're going for a walk."
He lifted her easily and guided her out of the room as if he was a gallant and she was a mademoiselle. He caught her when she stumbled on the threshold to the back porch, and didn't say anything when he helped her down to the grassy yard separating his home from the outbuilding. It seemed impossibly far, but they crossed the distance in little time at all. He didn't say anything, his face a stony mask. Katie wondered what he was thinking, then decided she didn't need to know.
Marcus was thinking that she needed to know what he actually did. Her situation was different and had been from the start. If things had been the way they usually were, she would have been placed in the outbuilding along with the others, exposed to diseases and testing new potion variants. Because of her situation, she was subject to much more painful tests than the others. He watched her face carefully as they walked through the observation hall. He had purchased another set of muggleborns, so that there were ten people. Each had their own little room, and there was a common room. Upon leaving their little bedrooms, a bubblehead charm was automatically placed over their heads and sterilization charms were set on their hands and clothing. That limited the cross contamination from one room to the next, as each subject was infected with something different. Katie's eyes were large, but her expression was unreadable as she watched them play cards together or read books quietly next to the window. It wasn't some kind of awful place, even if there was the risk of death.
She was still quiet when he brought her back out into the yard. "This isn't what you thought it was, is it?" he asked in a low tone.
"I suppose not."
Marcus stopped and cupped her face in his hand, his thumb near her mouth. Her eyes were wide and almost frightened, and she seemed poised to run. "Can't I kiss my wife?" he asked in an almost mocking tone. He had asked for this, he knew. After what she had been through, there was no way this would be easy. But he vaguely remembered her from school when he had looked through the dossier, the brunette spitfire that had taken the abuse on the pitch and kept coming back for more, as if to prove that the game shouldn't be different just because she was a girl. He had admired that spirit even as it was a pain in the ass to plan strategies against. Sometimes that spirit almost shone through; whatever Ruisart Nott had done, he hadn't completely destroyed her.
Katie's lips trembled and she backed up a half step. Marcus followed her, his face a careful blank mask. It wouldn't do to have his frustration show. He knew where she was coming from, after all. She had only known pain so far, and no one had shown her an ounce of kindness. At best, Marcus had been utterly indifferent. That was better than hatred, perhaps, but only just.
Marcus leaned down, lips hovering in front of hers for a fraction before pressing them against hers. She made a soft frightened noise, her hands fisted at her sides. Marcus kept one hand cupping her face and slid the other about her waist. His touch was light, and she could easily run from him if he overwhelmed her. But he kept the kiss shallow, only the press of lips gently against hers. They were soft and dry, the bottom lip with cracks in places. Marcus pulled back slightly and ran his thumb against that lower lip, seeing her blink back tears. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, his voice as gentle as he knew how.
"You said this wasn't why you wanted me," Katie whimpered. "You said..."
"Things change, don't they?"
"You weren't supposed to do this," she said, her voice cracking. "I can't... You can't..."
Marcus tightened his hand on her hip a fraction, and her voice shattered. She took a great shuddering breath, and suddenly Marcus wanted to kill Ruisart Nott, damn the consequences. "We're going back inside now."
She was relieved, but he didn't intend to let her simply go back and play housekeeper. Marcus led her up to his bedroom, and she painfully pale and skittish. "This isn't a good idea," Katie said, shaking her head. "I should go. I should get dinner ready..."
He was standing in front of the shut door to his bedroom, making no move to let her leave. "Stay. Take off your clothes," he told her. He realized after the fact that he probably should have said something different. She reacted as if slapped, jerking backward and nearly tripping over her own stockinged feet. He opened his mouth to say something else, maybe even to apologize for how that sounded, but she reached for the hem of the robe with shaking fingers.
Katie stripped down to the skin, shoulders hunched and head bowed. After a moment's hesitation, she laid down on the bed and spread her legs wide as she stared up at the ceiling. Maybe if she cooperated, it wouldn't hurt as much and it would be over quickly. Her lips trembled when she heard his growl, and she tried to spread her legs wider. She turned her face to the side and let her eyes fall shut to keep from sobbing.
The bed dipped as Marcus sat beside her. He laid a hand on the valley between her breasts. Her heart was beating at a rapid pace, and he could almost see her pulse leap in her throat. "I have never forced a woman in my life," he said in a low voice. "I have no intention of forcing you against your will," he began slowly, withdrawing his hand. "I can make you want this."
"Arrogant, aren't you?" she choked out, then bit her lip in fear.
"Sit up," Marcus sighed. Confused, she did so. "This isn't how I meant this to happen."
Katie swallowed nervously, but it felt like a lump had formed in her throat and her chest was tight. "Then what did you mean to happen?"
"I'll bed you, of course," he said, brushing her hair from her shoulders. "It would be more pleasant for us both if we could agree on that."
"I don't... I don't want to," Katie said in a small voice. "Please don't make me."
Marcus looked into her eyes. "He hurt you very much, didn't he?" She nodded, biting her lip. "I'm not him. I want you to understand that."
"I can't not remember," she whispered. "It's always there."
"I don't think it's right to take your memories of that away, though I almost wish I could," Marcus admitted. He touched the curve of her cheek gently, startling her. "If I do that, you lose your family. You lose a part of who you are."
"I thought you said I was a Lestrange," Katie said almost bitterly.
"So you are. And you're a Flint now," Marcus said easily, sliding his hand down to the point where her neck met her shoulders. She shivered at the contact, but she wasn't pushing him away. "Lie back. I'll take care of you." She was shaking her head, her lips trembling. "Katie," he murmured, and she looked at him with a plaintive expression. "I'll take care of you." She bit her lip and nodded when he tucked her hair behind an ear.
Katie allowed him to reposition her diagonally on the bed, her head on his pillow. She clutched at it with a tight grip, taking deep, shuddering breaths. She was drowning in the scent of him as he moved to lie on his stomach, his hands at her hips and his mouth hovering just over the juncture of her thighs. Even when he raised her knees, his touch was nothing like what she'd felt before, and Nott certainly hadn't done this.
Marcus had liked going down on girls in the past, and he knew this would be a better way to start with Katie. Her legs trembled, and her breathing hitched when his mouth descended over her. He licked her folds carefully, patiently, tracing her from the outside in. His fingers ghosted over the insides of her thighs, setting them to trembling. He was patient, licking at her gently for some time before even approaching her clit. She was frightened, too much an innocent. It was rather like dealing with a skittish virgin, he realized, and that helped him figure out what he needed to do with her. She needed to be taught that not all touch was horrible or painful.
He worked his tongue over her folds, inside her dry sheath, then up and around her clit. She let out a shuddering breath, and Marcus took that as a good sign. He continued patiently, laving at her in gentle circles. When she started to make a whining noise deep within her throat, he smiled and slipped a fingertip inside her. She was starting to grow damp, and Marcus kept at his same slow pace. Her breaths grew harsh, and her back arched up off the bed. "Let me hear you," he said, his breath ghosting over the damp flesh. "I need to know what works for you."
Katie let out a soft whimper as he slid his finger further inside her. To her surprise, he had been so very gentle, and was drawing her response out bit by bit. One hand still held his pillow tight, but her other moved to grasp the coverlet in her fist. Her entire body was tightening, and all she could do was feel as he moved his finger inside of her and his lips gently tugged on her clit. She let out a low moan when he sucked on it, tongue swirling around it in lazy circles, then back to licking stripes against it.
It was almost like a game. He could make her breath shatter with one kind of line across her clit, could make her groan with another. She was starting to tighten around his finger, and he kept sliding it in and out of her at a steady rhythm. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head, her back arched up, and Marcus smiled against her mound. She might not have believed him, but he was determined to prove to her that sex with him could be pleasurable.
Even after she came with a soft cry, he kept licking at her. He crooked his finger inside her, making her gasp and her thighs tremble. The pleasure shot through her, and Marcus kept licking and sucking at her swollen clit. She moaned, writhing beneath his lips, grasping at the coverlet. Marcus slid another finger into her, finding her wet and ready. Her body might have been ready, but he didn't think her mind was ready just yet. She came again, her body clamping down tight around his fingers. He kissed his way up, adjusting his position and moving her leg out of his way. Katie whimpered as he moved his fingers inside of her at a steady rhythm, his thumb grazing her clit. Marcus licked his way up her torso, then moved to take a breast into his mouth. Katie gasped, arching into his mouth. He moved her hand from the coverlet to his shoulder, silently giving her permission to touch him. He wanted her to touch him. He wanted her to feel him, to move beneath him, to eventually crave his touch. He rolled his tongue over her nipple, feeling it rise to a peak between his lips. She came again, and still he moved over her, not yet ready to stop. This was an elaborate kind of preparation, but he didn't want to sink inside of her until she was given over to him completely. Otherwise, he wasn't sure if he would trigger a memory of her past abuse.
Katie sank her nails into his shoulder, crying out in pleasure at the next orgasm. Marcus moved his mouth to her other breast, shifting his position again. He was hovering over more of her body now, but her head was still thrown back and her legs were splayed wide for him. She panted, head lolling on the pillow, her dark hair spread in a halo around her head. Adrian thought this was a mistake, but suddenly Marcus couldn't help but think that this fit somehow, that this was exactly the way things should be.
The next time she came, Marcus removed his mouth and fingers from her body. She made an incoherent mewl of protest, but he was stripping the clothes from his body. He was rock hard and aching for her, and held her hands above her head as he drove into her with a single thrust. She moaned at the feel of him, and he used one hand to tilt her hips for better access. She arched up against him, head lolling, and Marcus seized her mouth with his. Her lips were slack, and he slid his tongue between them to stroke hers. She gasped, mouth opening wide, and he lazily explored her mouth even as he pumped himself deeply into her, feeling as though he was sliding home.
He came in a rush, feeling her tighten around him as she was closing in on another orgasm. A few more thrusts and she shuddered, gasping for breath and moaning with the release.
It didn't seem to occur to her right away how thoroughly he covered her, that she was pinned to the bed beneath his weight. Marcus could almost see the exact moment she realized it, as her eyes widened a fraction and her breath hitched in her chest. He rolled off of her then, before she could even whimper, and simply lay on the bed next to her. Katie blinked in surprise, then looked over at him in confusion. "Is that...?"
"Is that what?" he asked, propping his head up on an elbow to look at her.
"Is that what it's supposed to be like?" she asked in a small voice. Marcus merely nodded, and he watched her expression shutter.
Katie curled up on her side, her back facing Marcus. She felt so small and vulnerable then, almost used. He pulled her close, her back tight against his front, and she resisted the urge to cry. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be in love with her husband. She was supposed to have married someone that loved her. She was supposed to have a wonderful life and a wonderful family, and magic was only supposed to augment that life.
Marcus stroked her arm gently, feeling her gradually grow more relaxed in his embrace. "You'll stay with me now," he murmured, feeling the need to say it aloud. "You are my wife, after all."
Her heart felt small and shriveled, and his words brought her no comfort at all. He didn't realize it, couldn't possibly. He thought he was doing the right thing, she knew. He thought this was the way it was supposed to be. He didn't know any better.
But she did, and she felt the loss keenly, mourning the life she would never have.
***
Katie woke early, hyperventilating after waking from a nightmare she couldn't remember. Marcus was still asleep, an arm and leg tossed carelessly over her sprawled form. He seemed content in his sleep, and Katie slipped out from underneath his arm. She was sticky and felt stretched out in places. She wasn't entirely comfortable using Marcus' attached bathroom, but she wasn't about to run about the house starkers. She bowed her head beneath the shower spray, taking deep breaths. All right. He wasn't terrible, not completely, and wasn't nasty to her. But she still felt helpless, still felt like a pawn tossed about between these Death Eaters.
"You couldn't sleep?"
Katie whirled around and saw Marcus' head peeking about the shower curtain. He was sleepy-looking, rubbing at his eyes and then looking at her. "I don't sleep well," Katie said. She was tempted to look away from his open expression, but if she kept eye contact, at least he wasn't gawking at her.
"Oh. I'll join you."
Before Katie could protest, Marcus ducked behind the shower curtain with her. She tried to back away and leave, but he slid a hand around her waist. It was a slow slide, his open palm gliding across the skin and his fingers curling around her hipbone. His other hand slid up from the rise of her breast to her shoulder, and he leaned in to kiss her, the water falling across his broad back. Katie grasped his arms, intending to push him back. But her head tilted back and their mouths met. It was strange for Katie, to be standing there with his hands on her and not feel any panic, to have his tongue trace her lips and not want to bite down on it. She opened her mouth under his, and he made a soft satisfied noise as he deepened the kiss.
Dear God, what am I doing? she thought suddenly, breaking the kiss to breathe. Marcus slid his hands around her, simply holding her, a content humming sound deep in throat. "I don't usually sleep well either," he said in a quiet voice. "Last night I slept very well."
"How lovely for you," Katie murmured, not sure what to say.
He laughed and leaned back to start washing his hair. "We'll get you settled in here today." He didn't say anything when she nodded and ducked out of the shower. By the time he got out, she was dried off and dressed in the same gray robe from the day before. Marcus pulled a face as his eyes raked over it. "We'll need to get a seamstress to build a proper wardrobe for you. I've put it off far too long."
"There's no point, is there?" Katie asked. "I can't exactly scrub floors in a ball gown."
Marcus frowned, but let the point go. "I suppose not."
She tried to go through her usual daily routine, but Marcus was starting to find her throughout the day. His gaze was uncomfortable; she kept having the feeling that he was thinking of peeling the robe back and sinking himself inside her. She kept up with the housekeeping. If she did the work well, if there was nothing to find fault with, there would be no reason for things to change. Oh, he said things were different now that she was legally a Halfblood, but even the sex was part of the experimentation on her. His only intention was to get her pregnant, to see if her newly grown womb could sustain a pregnancy until birth. This didn't guarantee her a permanent position in the household, really. Women died in childbirth all the time. It wouldn't take much to kill her once the child was born. But if she was useful, if she had a place in the household beside bed warmer, she would likely survive the birth. Katie had to believe in that.
With his gaze heavy on her, Katie couldn't help but think about the way his hands had felt on her neck and back, firm and strong against her body. He hadn't forced her, hadn't hurt her. The spells had hurt, the tests had been uncomfortable, and she hated the situation she had been in when she met him. But he hadn't actually harmed her, and his touch against her skin had been clinical at worst, protective at best. It was maddening, and she couldn't figure it out.
"Enough of that," Marcus said after watching her a few hours. It was almost time to prepare lunch, and he pressed his fingers over her lips to forestall her saying so. "Come with me."
Katie stopped breathing when she realized he was taking her to his bedroom. He stripped down to the skin and then flopped onto his bed. She stared at him dumbly, wondering if she could gracefully exit and run out of the house. He patted the bed beside him, and Katie could feel the blood drain from her face. "I should go."
"Don't be silly. Come here."
She took steps forward numbly. He hadn't forced her yet, she reminded herself. He didn't look ready to force her now. "This isn't a good idea," she whispered.
Marcus grasped her wrist and pulled her to the bed next to him. "You're my wife," he said in a low tone. "Of course it's a good idea."
Chest tight, Katie watched helplessly as he pulled the robe up over her legs, baring them to his view. He looked up at her face after a moment and stopped. "You really are frightened of this, aren't you?" he asked in wonder, as if he hadn't believed it before. Katie nodded, fingers twisting in her lap uncertainly. "Come on, let's get this off of you. I have an idea."
Drab gray robe tossed aside, Katie felt too exposed and helpless. But Marcus flopped onto his back again. "This time, you take charge. You touch me." Marcus laughed at her startled expression. "This is different, isn't it? This shouldn't remind you of anything."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked in a quiet voice. I'm nothing to you. Not that long ago, I was less than nothing.
Marcus slid his fingertips along the edge of her thigh, looking at her appreciatively. "We should get along well, shouldn't we?" he asked in a quiet tone. "I take the vows seriously."
"We never actually said them," Katie pointed out.
He took her hand, realizing he hadn't yet bothered to even give her a ring. "I promise to protect you, to watch over you and to keep you safe."
There was nothing about fidelity or honor, but Katie merely nodded. She couldn't expect more. "I can't promise the same."
"I don't ask for that." Marcus tugged on her hand. "Come on. You touch me. There must be something you've wanted to touch."
"Not particularly." She looked up and saw his aggrieved expression and couldn't help but laugh. She then clapped her hands over her mouth, but Marcus smiled as well. She hesitantly placed her fingers over the center of his chest. "You touch me here a lot." She slid her hand up to his neck, her fingers brushing the side of it. "Or here."
Marcus placed his own hand on the rise of her breast, sliding it up to cup the base of her throat. "The skin here was untouched. That's what I compare the rest to." He slid his fingers along the column of her throat, feeling her swallow. "And this is a sign of trust, isn't it? You trust I won't harm you. You're safe with me."
"I don't think you'd deliberately hurt me," Katie murmured, shifting her position almost uncomfortably. His words were too close to the truth; she didn't think he would whip, beat or rape her, but she was constantly afraid that he might change.
He let out a hiss of breath when her hand brushed across his lower abdomen. "Keep doing that," he said in a guttural tone. He slid his hand from her neck to her face as the blush rose along her cheeks. "Just explore a bit. Maybe that will get you over your fear."
"I don't think it's that simple," Katie replied tartly.
"Maybe," he began slowly. "But it has to start somewhere, doesn't it?"
Hesitantly, Katie slid her hand a little lower. His cock was slowly rising into her palm, and she locked eyes with his. He nodded encouragingly and sighed when she grasped it. She moved her hand over him slowly at first, watching his face carefully. "Is this all right?" she asked after a moment. She felt like an utter idiot. "Or do I need it like you did yesterday? With your mouth?"
"Merlin, yes," he groaned, tilting his hips up into her hand. He moved his own hand along her hip, nudging her thighs apart. Katie adjusted her stance, her hand tightening on him for a moment as his fingers traced her inner thigh. "Like that. I like it like that." He looked at her, gaze heavy with lust and longing as he watched her shiver. She was growing wet, slick with her building arousal. "This is good," he murmured, tracing her folds with his fingertips. She inhaled sharply when his fingers brushed against her clit, her movement erratic over his cock. He gestured with his other hand for her to lean down, and when she did so, he pulled her in for a kiss. Her mouth was open already, and Marcus slid his tongue along the inside of her lips, touching her teeth and tongue. It was almost a dance, movement and retreat, tease and follow, something that only made every touch along his skin fever bright.
Katie shuddered when she came, startled and clamping down hard around his fingers inside of her. Her hand was tighter around his cock, almost painfully so. He pulled on her hips, urging her to straddle his waist. "You take control here," he groaned. She looked at him with wide eyes, appearing so fucking innocent. He guided himself to her entrance, then thrust upward into her in one hard stroke. She gasped at the sudden fullness, shifting her legs around his body. "Yes," he groaned, tilting his hips to thrust even more deeply into her. Katie leaned forward, her hands on his shoulders, and he grasped her hips to help her keep balance. The pace was fast and hard, the new angle allowing him to sink in deeper and harder into her.
Katie moaned, feeling heat spreading in her belly, an urgency building within her. It was almost heartbreaking, that she could feel this without feeling anything for him, that she was going through the motions of love without having it. But then he rolled his hips beneath her, his hands almost painfully tight on her hips, quickening his pace. She was teetering on the edge of coming again, a desperate tightness wanting to burst out of her. She was so exquisitely sensitive, more than she had realized, more than he knew, and she threw her head back as she gasped for air. On impulse, Marcus craned his neck upward to catch a nipple between his lips, tugging gently. It was enough to send her reeling, and she came with a cry. She was tight around him, clamped even tighter, her body starting to milk him. Groaning, Marcus came, moving his hands to her back to support her.
But she collapsed gracelessly on top of him, panting, her eyes closed as she struggled for breath. She shivered as his hands roamed across her back, as she felt his cock twitch inside of her. What could she say about herself now? She could have left. She could have walked away, and he wouldn't have stopped her.
Maybe that was why she didn't. He gave her the option to leave, to stop if she grew too uncomfortable. He wanted her to feel pleasure in this, wanted her to crave his touch. It should be pleasant, he had said, and she had to suppress the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out of her. Of course sex was supposed to be pleasant. It hadn't been for her in the past, but that hadn't been sex. Therein lay the difference.
Marcus cradled the back of her head with his hands, stroking the nape of her neck gently. He could almost feel the wheels turning inside of her head, and he couldn't even begin to guess at what it meant. She didn't turn from him, at least. She stayed where she was, her face tucked against his neck. "Doing okay?" he asked. She nodded, and he stroked her back. "Stay here with me today. I've taken the day off. No research today."
"Okay," Katie murmured against his throat. She felt tired and lazy, her eyes sliding shut. She would be indispensable. She would do whatever needed to be done. She would be needed, and that would keep her alive, even if her soul felt empty and hollow.
***
***
On To Chapter Six