Have more fic!
Title: The Life We Lead
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: R for language
Pairing: Cassie/Nick
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, there wouldn't be such a monstrous age gap.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Written for the "monophobia (fear of being alone)" box on my
hc_bingo card. Copious thanks to
mynuet who held my hand as I cleaned this up.
Summary: She belonged in a more normal world. She belonged with real houses and real people and a real future. Staying with him would do nothing good for her. He would have to drive her away, even if it killed him.
Division knew where they were the instant they planned something. That was the way of it; Watchers saw things other Watchers saw, and the images became crystal clear the instant a course of action was decided on. That was what made Nick so good at what he did. He was able to plan a few steps ahead in any direction, and his Mover skills were so below anyone's radar that no one realized he was coming until they were already there and planting the bombs. Most of Division's hold in Hong Kong was cleared by the time Cassie turned seventeen. They wound up having to bargain the R-16 syringe for Cassie's mother. Kira was the only Special that survived its treatment, and other sources of the compound had been blown up. Division was only too eager to get the R-16 syringe, and far too confident that they could retrieve Elizabeth any time they chose.
Part of Nick wondered why it took them so long to do it. With their skills and contacts, Division could have been wiped out of Hong Kong within a year of their elaborate three card monte scheme. Cassie didn't need to hang around him, didn't need to have her youth wasted running from an organization only too willing to enslave her and her mother. She was young, and he should have been able to let her go. He should have pushed her to have a normal life, to go to high school and the prom and whatever else. She should do clubs and talk about boys and have slumber parties with friends her own age, worry about makeup and what color to streak into her hair. She shouldn't have had to worry about how many bullets they had left, or if Nick's go-with-the-flow was good enough to let them escape Division's Watchers. He was selfishly hanging onto her, making her stay with him when she had better places to be. She was young, the entire world at her beck and call. Surely she must See that. Surely she knew. Nick tried sending her away during his Division jobs, but she knew where he was all the time. And just when it all headed south, there she was with a gun and a quirky smile. "Stupid. You should've looked at my sketchbook first."
But if he didn't have Cassie, who would he have? He'd been a loner for so long that he didn't know how to strike up a conversation with ordinary people anymore. He could hustle or be hustled, he could crack stupid jokes that Cassie would laugh at. Well, maybe Pinky would, too. But Pinky wasn't fussy, and the Shadow counted most of the expatriate Specials in Hong Kong as friends.
Their life for the past five years consisted of an interchangeable string of motel rooms, back alleys and greasy food. They moved from one job to another, a grift here and a scam there to keep them afloat. Cassie's mother was free, but she had a master plan in mind, and she wanted nothing less than the utter destruction of Division. Cassie never complained when her mother left them, though Nick knew that it killed her inside. Maybe that was why he didn't push her away. Maybe he knew there really wasn't anywhere else for her to go.
They were working a job for Chen, scamming nearly a half million dollars from one of the local triads. Nick was supposed to have everything lined up perfectly so that they would have the money and the bait, but everything went south before Cassie could even blink. She had a steady hand on the gun, firing shots without even thinking. Nick's Moving was still uneven, and all they had afterward was the money. Chen wanted everything, and he would take it out of them.
They stumbled into their dingy motel room afterward. "Dammit, you know how much that score was worth. How could you fuck this up for us?" he yelled.
"I didn't screw anything up," Cassie protested, hands on her hips. "I'm the one that kept you from getting killed!"
"I would've been fine!" Nick yelled. "I can handle things on my own! I've been running cons since before you were even fucking born!"
"You're not that old, moron," Cassie sniped, thumping him in the chest.
Maybe not, but he was older than her. She was still a child, right? He had no right to keep her by his side, when she should be doing normal things like every other eighteen year old on the planet. She was never going to leave, and it would kill him if she did. But suddenly he realized that the only way she would have a normal life would be if he made her leave. "You're supposed to be a professional, Cassie. You're supposed to be good. Fucking that up cost me my reputation!"
"You screwed that up on your own, Nick. You're the one that couldn't trust the images I drew for you."
"How can I when I don't know what you're drawing half of the time? You can't draw. You can't See it the way it happens all the time. You'll never be the Watcher your mother was."
Nick knew it was a low blow, knew he'd rather carve his own heart out than hurt her this way. But she had to leave him, no matter what the cost. Even if it broke him.
Cassie's lips pressed into a thin line. "You can't talk. You're not the Mover your father was."
"I haven't trained. What's your excuse?"
"I See whatever has to be Seen. My mother Sees infinity, and she can't deal with real people anymore. I at least can still talk."
"That doesn't help if it's only nonsense out of your mouth."
Cassie gave him a hard shove. She'd never been one to back down when he was talking bullshit, and this was definitely one of those times. "Look, asshole, that was your fuckup today. You're the one that will have to go to Chen and tell him you lost his dope. Not me."
"See? Not any help at all."
"I didn't screw anything up!" Cassie shouted at him.
"Get the hell out of here! You just fuck everything up," Nick shouted back at her. "I don't need you! Get lost!"
Cassie kicked him in the shin. "You're an idiot!" she shouted at him. She grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the motel room as he hopped up and down cursing. She slammed the door behind her.
It had such a final sound to it.
At first he thought she would come right back. They've argued before, and she'd stormed off in a huff, only to return in a haze of alcohol with a brand new set of sketches for him to puzzle over. As much as he wanted to push her away, as much as it would hurt the both of them, he didn't think it would happen.
Only, she didn't return in an hour. Or three. Or ten.
Chen was angry, threatening to kick his ass six ways to Sunday. Nick just stared at him, jaw set, not caring anymore. Chen was all sound and fury, no force behind the words. His men knew that Nick took the jobs that they didn't want to do, so there was really no point in trying to kill him. He took the jobs no one else wanted and somehow managed to make things work out more often than not.
Cassie still didn't return the next day. Or the next.
Everything felt empty and dull without her. Nick sat down heavily on his bed, refusing to even look at the one she used. He was alone, just the thing he had been hoping for. Cassie would find herself a better life. She could pick up and go anywhere, be anyone, do anything. This was just the thing he had wanted. But he couldn't bring himself to leave that dingy room, couldn't touch the things on her side of the room. What if she came back? What if he really hadn't done anything but piss her off?
He had to believe that this was for the best. She was eighteen, and she deserved better. She belonged with real houses and real people and a real future. Staying with him would do nothing good for her.
Nick pulled off his clothes and flopped backward, clad only in his boxers. Fuck. He was an idiot. He loved her, but he couldn't say anything. Somehow it had happened over their years together, but he had been careful never to let her know. That was fucking creepy and did nothing but make him feel like a dirty old man. It wasn't as if he hadn't fucked other girls in the past five years, but they meant nothing more than a physical release. Once he even had to close his eyes and imagine it was Cassie in order to finish.
He must have dozed off. The click of the door opening woke him, but the room was pitch dark. He didn't even care if it was Division to take him.
Cassie sat on the bed beside him after lighting a single lamp in the room. She smelled like cheap vodka and cranberry juice. "You are such an idiot."
"Get out," Nick said, voice rough with sleep. "You left. I got rid of you. You don't belong here anymore."
She crawled into the bed beside him. "I got drunk tonight. I thought the visions must have been wrong somehow. This wasn't the way it was supposed to end up." Nick pushed her away and she pouted. "I know how this ends. I've Seen it, and today is not how it ends."
"You need to get out of here."
She launched herself at him instead, her mouth on his and her hands on his arms to keep him from pushing her away. "I don't leave," she said against his mouth. "I don't ever leave you."
Something crumbled inside of Nick. It must have been his resolve. Still... "No, you have to go."
"I can't," she said against his mouth. "I love you."
"Oh, thank God," he groaned, and then kissed her back. She deserved better, but he tried to make her leave.
"I'm not leaving you," Cassie murmured as he bent his head to kiss her neck. She ran her hands down his back, feeling the muscles move and shift beneath her fingertips. "I want to be here with you," she whispered. "This is where I belong."
"You deserve better. A chance at a real life," he said against her neck. "You'll only get that far away from me."
"If I leave you, they get me. Sooner or later, someone comes for me. Someone comes for you. I See it happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop that. Together we can beat them. Together we win. This where we're supposed to be."
"You don't know what you're saying..."
"I've Seen it," Cassie repeated, voice firm. She had always been more mature than her years. "I know what I'm talking about. I know how this ends." She moved to straddle him on the bed. "I appreciate the thought, but that normal crap is overrated."
"This isn't good for you," Nick protested, a last ditch effort.
Cassie grinned and ran her hands over his chest. "You'll have to come with me, then. No more grifting. A real life, a real job, no more scams or bit parts in other peoples' schemes."
"That's all we're known for in Hong Kong," Nick said, running his hands along her hips. Funny how comfortable that felt, like his hands belonged there.
"Who said we have to stay in Hong Kong? We could go anywhere. Anywhere at all."
"And what did you See, then?" Nick asked, lips quirked into a small smile.
Cassie pulled off her shirt. She had one of those little bras on, the kind that exposed a lot of skin. Nick liked that kind a lot. Straddling him also hiked up the skirt she was wearing, exposing a lot of thigh to his touch. "I Saw a few places. It's a big world out there. How's your Spanish?" she asked.
"Better than my Chinese."
"You don't know any Mandarin."
"Exactly."
Cassie laughed. "I've been studying Spanish and Portuguese. Very similar, but some words are a bit different." She leaned forward and pulled Nick's hands up to cover her breasts. "Te amo."
"I know that much," Nick murmured, giving her breasts a gentle squeeze. "I love you, too."
"So why do this? Why do we argue so much, then? I hate it."
Nick rolled the ball of his thumb over her nipple. "I figured I'm no good for you."
"And how are you defining good?" she asked, her breath fracturing over her words. "I've Seen how this ends. How our future is."
"You mentioned that." He kept his hands in motion, and Moved their clothing out of the way. "And?"
Cassie laughed and moved her hands along his arms encouragingly. "I think it'll be more fun to feel this than to See it." She rolled her hips above his. "Don't you think so?"
This was more than Nick had ever hoped would happen, even in his dreams. "Let me show you." He pulled her down for a possessive kiss. "If you're not leaving, then I have lots to show you."
Her laughter was like a gift. He would have to make sure she truly didn't leave him, then.
End.