When The World Ends. D/G, K/M. 3/11. R.
Title: When The World Ends
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: R. OMG, I didn't actually write smut...
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Katie Bell/Marcus Flint.
Disclaimer: The characters here do not originally belong to me, but to JKR, Raincoast, Scholastic and their teams of lawyers. This version of the characters is all mine, though.
Spoilers/Warnings: This takes place during DH (minus the Epilogue of Doom). Also, this fits "undercover: having to participate in illegal / hurtful activity" prompt on my
hc_bingo card.
Summary: Ginny is tired of being pushed into the background as if nothing she endured counted for anything. It turns out, Katie feels the same way. They plan on making a difference in the war, even if no one takes them seriously.
Prior chapters:
One - Shadows On Our Own
Two - Forming Alliances
You have sliced your numbness open
with the blades of your own eyes.
From your years of watching
you have grown the pupils of a cat, to see
in the dark. And these eyes are
your blessing. They will always know the poison
from the jewels that are both embedded
in your flesh.
They will always know the darkness
that is one of your names by now,
but not the one you answer to.
Barbara Kingsolver, "Remember the Moon Survives"
The training session was brutal, and Katie bit back every curse and cry she wanted to let loose. Any whining would be looked down upon, and it would be used against her. She could no right in the program, and she was always wrong. Stepanov might have been her supervisor, but he was definitely not doing her any extra favors. It was unsettling to feel his eyes on her during their meetings every month, and she was constantly searching herself for any poor behavior that would make him want to throw her out of the program.
She was just so angry all the time. Everything set her off, all the whispers and snide remarks and sidelong glances in the hallways. They were trying so hard to wind her up, and it felt like it was working on the inside. It didn't matter if she had been through worse, if she had come back from the brink of death. This hurt and it wouldn't stop until she was done with all of her training. It couldn't come soon enough, as far as she was concerned.
Katie went to the owlery attached to the training building. Few of the other Cadets bothered with it, so it was always a quiet place for her to think and calm down. Sometimes she wrote letters to her parents. She could be candid with them in ways she could never be with Alicia or Angelina or the Weasley twins. Angelina was in the Auror program and doing well, even with the current climate. Alicia was flying on Falmouth Falcons' reserve team and dating everyone in sight, looking fabulously happy. The twins were getting on with the shop and helping the Order. Some of her other friends from school had fallen away from her when she had become too focused in her remaining seventh year. Or she had fallen away from them, she wasn't sure which. But the friendships hadn't withstood the strain, and she certainly hadn't made any friends in the law enforcement training program.
She could tell her parents about these things. They expected her to, and would have been worried if she didn't confide in them. Her mother especially wanted to know these things. They were both lower level Ministry employees, but the family was comfortable and firmly middle class in their little wizarding village. Katie could close her eyes and remember her little house, the park nearby and the silly children she had been friends with before she had gone to Hogwarts. She'd known some of the older children in the village, and had always tried to play against them. Marcus Flint was four years older and twice as mean as any boy her age, but he had always been fair in the village. He hadn't been the kind to simply pull on her ponytail or make fun of her just because he could. On the quidditch pitch was a different story, but that she understood and expected.
The other Cadets were different, though. They went out of their way to make her miserable, to try and trip her up so that she would fail out. Every time she didn't only seemed to make them more determined to best her. Katie kept pushing herself, but it never seemed to be good enough. She would never let them see her cry, the bloody wankers. She never let on how much it hurt to be in this position, how much she wished to have even one friend out of the lot.
It was only October. She had until the end of December, and then the program was done. Katie was leaning toward taking the optional extra six month program before formally enrolling in the Artifact Investigation program. It would give her a stronger background as well as show her commitment to the job. The Artifact Investigation program was a very small one, only ten people maximum allowed to enroll. Most of the time, it had six. Katie thought perhaps she would be one of those, but wanted to be absolutely certain.
The usual owl that took her letters to her mum lighted onto her shoulder. Katie smiled and retreated to her usual corner of the owlery to compose a letter to her mum. She was meeting with Ginny and Draco soon enough, and it wouldn't help to be seen glowering at them as if she hated the idea of mentoring them.
***
"You want to be an Auror?" Draco asked, curious as they waited for Katie to arrive by floo in one of the faculty conference rooms.
Ginny traced the wood grain in the table they were sitting at. "Something like that. My brother's a Curse Breaker. I was thinking of being a Rune Hunter."
Draco didn't laugh at her the way she expected him to. He looked thoughtful instead. "It's probably... interesting?" he offered finally. "What do they even do?"
"They're the experts in runes and runic derivations on things. So think of wards and advanced level potions needing enchantments on them. That's what I want to do."
"No offense, Weasley, but I wouldn't want you anywhere near my family's wards."
Ginny snickered. "Too afraid I'd add something in there to turn your hair blue?"
"I was thinking of your reputation," Draco returned smoothly. "It would look bad for you if you couldn't figure them out."
Ginny's response was cut off by the roar of the fire turning green and Katie appearing through the flames. She dusted off her Cadet robes and looked at her two protégées. "You both seem to be doing fairly well," she said by way of greeting.
"Still alive, for all that counts," Ginny said in response.
"I have top marks now," Draco told Katie.
It was odd, to know that he was the one that had ruined her seventh year when she didn't. She wasn't exactly friendly with him, but she didn't look at him with the fear and loathing that she probably would have had otherwise. Draco almost wanted to tell her, to ask if she could forgive him for nearly destroying her. But she hadn't been the target of that locket, and she had been nothing more than an innocent bystander. Collateral damage, his father had said. His father hadn't even cared that Katie was a Pureblood from an old wizarding village in the north, that her parents were neutral in the war. Narcissa had been shocked by the turn of events, but Draco could hear her unspoken thoughts: Better her than you.
Katie pulled up a chair in front of them and put down her satchel. "All right. Have you gotten a chance to look at that extra reading I gave you last time?"
The standard promotional pamphlets had been what she had started with, as well as answering any questions they had based on that. Their next meeting had been full of recommendations for classes and some extra readings for Defense Against the Dark Arts, especially since they were no longer covering defense at school.
They went through what they had read, and it turned into a fairly lively discussion regarding defensive and offensive strategies. Draco had a tendency toward strong defense, Ginny was so focused on offense that sometimes she didn't defend herself properly. "This turned out to be a really good balance, then," Katie told them with a grin. "The two of you make a solid team if you take everything into account."
Ginny blinked and looked at Draco as if she had never seen him before. Considering she had only thought of him as a reasonable alternative of all the potential Death Eaters, he had turned out to be a better sort of bloke than she had ever given him credit for. "I suppose you're right," she said cautiously.
"I'd have to ask the Headmaster if I'm allowed to do spellwork with you and not just theory," Katie mused. "I think it would be nice to actually see how the dueling would work."
Ginny looked down at the table darkly. "It probably won't be a good idea. There's enough dueling and spellwork at the moment."
Katie frowned at Ginny. "What are you talking about?"
"We told you that it's just the Dark Arts now," Ginny began, her tongue feeling thick and heavy in her mouth. She didn't want to admit how many times she'd been cursed or hexed by her fellow classmates, how alone she felt as one of the few sixth year Gryffindors left.
"We're supposed to practice the curses on each other," Draco supplied when Ginny didn't continue speaking. "There are more Gryffindor seventh years than sixth years right now."
The irrational anger that had plagued Katie for months flared, and for a moment she thought that even Draco could see the curse scars she carried. But the moment passed, and she had control of her anger again. "I see." She pursed her lips, looking for all the world as if she was just vaguely annoyed at something. Not enough milk for her coffee, perhaps. "Well, then. I'll have to teach you a few spells to protect yourselves."
"Look, it's not-" Draco began. He wasn't the one on the receiving end of most curses.
But Katie had already stood up, her wand in hand. "The first thing you should know is a simple pain blocking spell. It takes the edge off of the worst spells, even Cruciatus."
Both teens goggled at her. "How do you know that?" Ginny asked.
"It's part of our training. We cast the spell on ourselves and an instructor puts us under. Another instructor monitors us to be sure we don't get hurt by the exercise." She looked at their shock and merely shrugged. "Sometimes the only way to find out if you can do something is to just do it and see what happens."
Draco accepted that explanation, but Ginny still looked horrified. "But..."
"They'd have to withstand torture, Weasley," Draco told her flatly. "So would you, if you manage to join up." Draco didn't mention his own future; he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with it, and he already knew more than enough about torture already.
"Well, this takes the edge off, and it depends on how well you manage to cast it," Katie told them, looking at them both closely. "I'm not telling you to go casting Unforgiveables at each other, but I'm sure it will at least come in handy."
She taught them the spell, which felt as though it coated their nerve endings in cool jelly. Katie didn't mention that even a partially numbed Cruciatus hurt like hell, or that she was the only one in her class still able to stand up after their instructors cast the curse on them. She had felt worse with the cursed necklace, so she was able to put it into perspective. The pain from Cruciatus was as much mental as physical; while the body was under excruciating pain, the mind could worsen that even further simply by believing in it. Katie had gone into the class knowing she tolerated more pain than the instructors could imagine, so it hadn't affected her as badly as the others. The other Cadets hated her for it, for staggering about but still standing. If it had been a real duel, she would have been able to cast something back at her attacker. The others would have continued to suffer until their attackers felt like stopping.
"I'll see you next month, then," Katie said at the close of their meeting. "Unless you want to meet up sooner than that? I wouldn't want to give you too much extra work."
"Maybe two weeks?" Ginny suggested. "You could teach us some more useful spells like this."
Katie waited until Draco nodded as well. "All right, then. Two weeks, same time as this." She smiled, though both teens could tell that it was nothing like her previous smiles used to be.
Ginny pulled Katie aside before she could go through the floo. She glared at Draco, indicating that he should at least turn around to give them a semblance of privacy. Rolling his eyes, he did as she asked. He missed the parchment that Ginny slipped into Katie's pocket. "Is there anything for nightmares?" she asked, knowing full well that Draco was listening.
"Which ones are these?"
"From... Well, from a while ago," Ginny murmured. "I don't want a draught. They don't do much but suppress them, so that the nightmares are even worse or more frequent once I stop. But they've come more often since school started."
Katie frowned at Ginny. She could tell this was more than just a ruse for whatever Ginny really wanted to know. "I'm no head healer..." she began, spreading her arms out helplessly. She had a hard enough time dealing with her own nightmares.
"Yeah, I know, but... What do you do with yours? How do you stop them?"
Katie rubbed at her face, seeing the silver cracks beneath her skin that she couldn't feel. "I don't, Ginny," she said, weariness seeping into her voice. "I just keep going, that's all."
"How can you keep going, though?" Ginny asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Draco turned around to stare at them in wonder, not sure what to say. He wasn't meant to hear this, but he had never thought there might be effects past the obvious ones.
Katie swept Ginny up into a tight hug. "You'll keep going because you have a goal in mind. You have to keep moving, that's all. Some days are better than others, but you'll keep moving. Mind, it's tough and no one will ever understand how badly it hurts sometimes, but you will be able to do it. I know that for a fact."
Ginny pulled away and discreetly wiped at her eyes. "Thanks. Maybe I just needed to hear that."
Nodding, Katie smiled gently at her. "It helps to know there's at least one person willing to listen when the time comes. Do you need me to stay a bit?"
"I..." She turned and caught Draco's expression, the way his lips parted in surprise and shock. "It isn't a good time now, I suppose."
"I'll head to Hogsmeade on your next weekend, then. I'll meet up with you and we'll talk over lunch, then."
"They're going to start canceling Hogsmeade weekends soon," Draco blurted suddenly. He didn't want to dash Ginny's hopes, but she had to know the truth. "Unless you've a pass or with someone that has a pass. They're going to start that just before hols, probably."
Ginny's shoulders slumped. "Well, there's some time, then."
"You'll make it work," Katie told her, giving her hand a squeeze of support. She wanted to tell Ginny that it got better with time. But Ginny had her interaction with a cursed object years ago and still had nightmares, so that would be a lie. The only thing Katie knew how to do at this point was fight, and that was the most advice she could give. Fight and fight and fight, and even when knocked down, fight some more. It was the only way she was able to battle her way out of St. Mungo's and back into school, then graduate on time and now do well in the law enforcement program. It was the only thing that helped ease the sick feelings her nightmares left her with.
Ginny watched her leave with a sigh. She was startled by Draco touching her arm gently, by the look of compassion on his face. She hadn't thought he was capable of it.
"Come on," he told her in a soft voice. "You'd better be heading back to the tower. You don't want to be caught out after hours again. There's only so much help I can give you."
"Why are you helping me?" she asked, her voice just as soft and hushed.
Because you're a friend of Myrtle's. Because I like trading insults with you. Because you don't treat me like a pariah or an utter failure. Because you're pretty. Because I actually almost like you. Any or all of the sentiments would have applied, but Draco couldn't say a single one of them. He merely shrugged and gestured for her to exit the conference room.
"You have to be doing this for a reason," Ginny insisted.
"Perhaps," Draco replied, sidestepping the question. "But I wouldn't tell you what it was, now would I?"
She accepted that, and they walked in silence to Gryffindor Tower. It was a comfortable silence, though, and Ginny wondered when she started thinking of Draco Malfoy as someone she could be comfortable around, especially after what his father had done to her. But he was courteous to her most of the time now, though they still had their verbal sparring matches.
If she didn't know any better, Ginny would have called Draco Malfoy a friend.
***
"Tell me about the nightmares," Draco asked Ginny. It was three weeks after she had mentioned them to Katie. They sometimes talked after hours, meeting up in a classroom that Draco suggested. It was an area Filch generally didn't frequent, and the other Death Eaters in the castle didn't bother with that particular area of the castle.
Ginny remembered the time she had mentioned them; she had pushed a letter into Katie's pocket, sharing information about the Death Eaters at the school, what classes were like and what kinds of things were said in the halls. Ginny had hoped it would be useful for the Order, that something could be done about it. Katie had sent her an owl a week later thanking her for information, though nothing could be done about it at all. Ginny supposed that she should be thankful Katie at least tried on her behalf.
Draco tolerated her silence. It wasn't an easy thing to talk about, and she had only mentioned it once. He had been reluctant to bring up the topic at all, but she had seemed to be more and more withdrawn as the term dragged on. It could be all the detentions she had gotten, all the times she and her little friends had tried to use the Room of Requirement to meet. Draco knew about the meetings, but hadn't said a word. He didn't exactly know why.
"Look, it's not a big deal," she began, shrugging at him.
"It was enough of a big deal to tell Bell," Draco pointed out. "Enough that you didn't want me hearing about it even though I wasn't that far away."
Ginny didn't deny that; though bringing up the nightmares had been something of a ruse at the time, they did exist and they did bother her. She remained silent for a while, rubbing the inside of her right wrist absently.
"I'm a friend, aren't I?" Draco asked quietly.
She looked up, startled. "What?"
"We talk sometimes. Spend time together... You spend as much time with me as you do Longbottom and the rest of that lot. We might say a lot of shite, but we don't actually hex each other to death. Nowadays, that's as close to friendship as anyone gets."
Ginny felt so sad for him, that friendship was measured by how little someone hurt him. "I suppose," she murmured. She quirked her lips into a smile. "That doesn't mean I want to discuss any nightmares with you. Or anyone else."
"Point," he allowed. "But they bother you. I can tell."
It should have bothered her that he could. She frowned at him to cover her confusion. "What do you mean, you can tell?"
"You're always tired in the morning, and you're distracted late in the evening, like you're trying to avoid sleep. You aren't rested, and sometimes your insults fall short of the mark." Draco leaned back and took in her appearance. "You're not even pushing me away very hard right now, are you? If you really wanted me to back off, you'd be walking out of that door."
That was true enough. Yet something in her wanted to stay. There was a certain amount of peace that came from talking to Draco, from sitting next to him and not having him expect anything at all from her. She could be whoever she was, whatever she wanted to be, and it didn't matter to him. He accepted her at face value and didn't ridicule her for wanting to join the law enforcement program, for wanting to be someone other than a pawn in an elaborate game or merely the girl walking in Harry Potter's shadow.
"I've had them since my first year," Ginny said quietly. She was looking at the chalkboard, not at him, and Draco moved closer to her. She spoke so faintly, any noise would have muffled the sound of her words. "I did a lot of awful things while possessed."
Draco didn't know all of the particulars of that time period, but he knew the gist of it. "So what are they about?"
Ginny looked at him, eyes wide and hopeless. "In my dreams I still know Parselmouth, and I still control the basilisk. I like it."
He grasped her hand and she startled at the contact. Draco didn't know why he was doing any of this exactly. His mind kept circling back to the fact that she was Myrtle's friend, that she wasn't as horrible as he thought she was, and that he felt guilty enough for his role in how terrible things were at school for everyone. "Let's go," he said brusquely, pulling her to her feet.
"Where are we going?" she asked, starting to grow frightened. His gaze was intense on her, and though he hadn't done anything untoward yet, she was almost afraid that he was breaking under the pressure the other Death Eaters were putting on him. Would this be the time he finally caved and started torturing people?
But they were at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
She pulled away from him, backing up against the bathroom wall. "Look, we'll just forget this whole thing," she offered. "We don't need to talk about it anymore..."
Draco was beside her, pulling her inside so that she faced the serpentine sinks. "I saw you that day Myrtle kicked you out. I didn't believe my eyes, but I knew it was you. Open it up."
Ginny shook her head. "This is stupid..."
"You need to see it," Draco told her, voice soft. "You need to see it for what it is, to know that it's there and it's not something you dreamed up. You need to see it and know it's over."
She looked at him then, really looked, and the sense of being hunted fell away. He wasn't as bad as the Carrows or Snape or any of the other Death Eaters visiting the castle that liked to send curses her way. The red hair gave her away every time, and it was a target she couldn't easily hide. Draco wasn't treating her that way, for whatever reason, and she did trust him. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why.
Ginny stood in front of the tap and began to speak, a soft susurrus as the Parselmouth words began to form. Open.
Draco was startled when the sink opened, even though he knew it should have. Ginny slid down the opening and waited for Draco to follow her before closing the sink up after them. She lit her wand and waited for Draco to do the same. "There's a whole network of tunnels beneath the castle and inside the walls. I explored a lot of the area a while ago, but I don't know the whole system. Just a few of the hallways in this wing, really."
"So you could probably get away from a lot more of the punishments than you do."
"Maybe," Ginny told him quietly. "I'd be leaving the others behind, though."
"Unless you brought them with you," Draco pointed out. He didn't know why he was advocating this at all, though the thought of Ginny under Crucio bothered him.
"I'd have to explain this, show people..." She looked at Draco and her lips curled in something resembling a smile. "No, I don't think so. What's happening is horrible enough, and they don't need to know what else is in the dark, do they?"
"What do you think is in the dark, then?" Draco asked, curious.
"More monsters," Ginny said quietly. "More Death Eaters and pain and horrible things. I know it's real, even if they don't yet."
Draco didn't have the heart to tell her how bad it would get, that there were plans for coercing parents using their children, that the children themselves were sometimes targets. Some of the Death Eaters visiting his parents were actively looking for likely Order members out of the children and torturing them before they could join up. He suspected that some of Ginny's punishments and attacks were in the same vein.
Ginny led him through the tunnels, her breath growing more erratic as they went. She was afraid, he realized, and he reached out to grasp her hand tightly. She looked at him uncertainly, a vulnerable expression on her face. Draco felt a swift possessive and protective urge rise in him, and he couldn't have explained why she suddenly mattered to him. This was more than caring because she was Myrtle's friend, too. This was more than realizing she was a capable witch in her own right that had a wicked sense of humor.
"I'm here with you," he murmured, looking at her rising panic. "I'll help."
"I'm only going back because you're here," she said, her voice breaking. "Sometimes I'm afraid he's still there, waiting in the dark." Sometimes I still hear him, she wanted to say, but no one knew about that, really.
Harry had never asked her about it, and suddenly Ginny hated him for that. He could easily forget about everyone's pain, and Ginny would always remember.
Draco slid his hand along her arm, until he touched her shoulder. Her eyes were wide, watching him, and he moved closer. He was close enough to see every freckle on her face, the flutter of her lips and the way her eyelashes curled. "If he's there," Draco began slowly, not knowing precisely who this "he" should have been, "he'll have to get through me first."
"Thank you," Ginny whispered, grasping hold of his arm tightly.
Together they walked through the tunnels. Ginny pointed out the claw marks, the scrapes where basilisk scales had banged into the walls. Draco was a calming presence beside her, and she found herself telling him things about her first year, that damned diary and how alone she had been. Draco didn't laugh, and kept asking questions. He listened, and he seemed to understand what she had felt.
And then he told her about repairing the Vanishing Cabinet, knowing that everyone expected him to fail. His parents had been threatened, and he knew his life would be forfeit as well. He hadn't been able to kill anyone, hadn't been able to cross that line. But Snape had on his behalf, because his mother had known he wouldn't be able to kill. Draco had been an angry boy with petty schoolboy rivalries, but he wasn't a killer. Crabbe and Goyle had started to pull away from him, or perhaps he had been more shirty with them than normal.
They stepped into the large open space that had once held the basilisk. Ginny's hand tightened on Draco's arm, and they stood there staring at the shadows. Draco created an illumination ball the way Katie had taught them, and let it hang suspended in the air. It lit up the cavern, and the stone face across the area stared at them.
"Salazar Slytherin, I suppose," Draco guessed. Ginny nodded. "Ugly bloke, wasn't he?"
Startled, Ginny began to laugh. "Yeah, he was, wasn't he?"
Draco slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She didn't protest, and it only just occurred to him that perhaps she should have. But it was nice that she didn't. He could smell her shampoo and the subtle perfume she wore, could feel the way her body molded against his. It was comfortable and soothing, though he couldn't have said why. They were in a cold, damp cavern that had once housed a basilisk. This was the place of her nightmares, the place where she had nearly died.
He kissed her forehead. Ginny tilted her face up, contemplating his face. Draco looked at her, almost expectant, waiting for her to say something. She knew that he would say something supportive. Or be sarcastic if she was feeling sorry for herself, making her laugh. She hadn't been expecting this from him, but this was exactly what she needed. After a moment, she leaned in and kissed his mouth.
It wasn't exactly spectacular, as far as kisses went. Not that she really had many toe-curling ones at this point, but she knew this one wasn't it. The kiss was gentle pressure and chapped lips, noses bumping and eyes wide open. But it held the promise of more, of so much more, and Ginny couldn't help but smile as she pulled back. Draco seemed stunned.
"I think I can do better than that, yeah?" she asked him teasingly. Before he could answer her, she leaned in again to kiss him.
This kiss was soft and tentative, but deepened as Draco's hands wound through her hair. Her cold hands rested on his shoulders, pulling him even closer. Her mouth opened beneath his, and his tongue slipped inside to taste her. His arms moved down, holding her close, and Ginny felt safe for the first time all year.
Ginny ended the kiss first, drawing back for breath. Her emotions were simmering close to the surface. Draco could suddenly read her easily, as if her thoughts were his own. She needed someone to accept her as she was; she was flawed and shattered, but had somehow pieced herself back together in to this hopeful and strong girl that no one else could see. Draco cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead lightly.
"This is just a cave now," Draco began, lips quirking into a smile. "With a really ugly statue sitting in it. Wanna break it?"
Ginny laughed. "I would love to."
Casting Reducto had never felt so good.
***
***
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: R. OMG, I didn't actually write smut...
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Katie Bell/Marcus Flint.
Disclaimer: The characters here do not originally belong to me, but to JKR, Raincoast, Scholastic and their teams of lawyers. This version of the characters is all mine, though.
Spoilers/Warnings: This takes place during DH (minus the Epilogue of Doom). Also, this fits "undercover: having to participate in illegal / hurtful activity" prompt on my
hc_bingo card.
Summary: Ginny is tired of being pushed into the background as if nothing she endured counted for anything. It turns out, Katie feels the same way. They plan on making a difference in the war, even if no one takes them seriously.
Prior chapters:
One - Shadows On Our Own
Two - Forming Alliances
You have sliced your numbness open
with the blades of your own eyes.
From your years of watching
you have grown the pupils of a cat, to see
in the dark. And these eyes are
your blessing. They will always know the poison
from the jewels that are both embedded
in your flesh.
They will always know the darkness
that is one of your names by now,
but not the one you answer to.
Barbara Kingsolver, "Remember the Moon Survives"
The training session was brutal, and Katie bit back every curse and cry she wanted to let loose. Any whining would be looked down upon, and it would be used against her. She could no right in the program, and she was always wrong. Stepanov might have been her supervisor, but he was definitely not doing her any extra favors. It was unsettling to feel his eyes on her during their meetings every month, and she was constantly searching herself for any poor behavior that would make him want to throw her out of the program.
She was just so angry all the time. Everything set her off, all the whispers and snide remarks and sidelong glances in the hallways. They were trying so hard to wind her up, and it felt like it was working on the inside. It didn't matter if she had been through worse, if she had come back from the brink of death. This hurt and it wouldn't stop until she was done with all of her training. It couldn't come soon enough, as far as she was concerned.
Katie went to the owlery attached to the training building. Few of the other Cadets bothered with it, so it was always a quiet place for her to think and calm down. Sometimes she wrote letters to her parents. She could be candid with them in ways she could never be with Alicia or Angelina or the Weasley twins. Angelina was in the Auror program and doing well, even with the current climate. Alicia was flying on Falmouth Falcons' reserve team and dating everyone in sight, looking fabulously happy. The twins were getting on with the shop and helping the Order. Some of her other friends from school had fallen away from her when she had become too focused in her remaining seventh year. Or she had fallen away from them, she wasn't sure which. But the friendships hadn't withstood the strain, and she certainly hadn't made any friends in the law enforcement training program.
She could tell her parents about these things. They expected her to, and would have been worried if she didn't confide in them. Her mother especially wanted to know these things. They were both lower level Ministry employees, but the family was comfortable and firmly middle class in their little wizarding village. Katie could close her eyes and remember her little house, the park nearby and the silly children she had been friends with before she had gone to Hogwarts. She'd known some of the older children in the village, and had always tried to play against them. Marcus Flint was four years older and twice as mean as any boy her age, but he had always been fair in the village. He hadn't been the kind to simply pull on her ponytail or make fun of her just because he could. On the quidditch pitch was a different story, but that she understood and expected.
The other Cadets were different, though. They went out of their way to make her miserable, to try and trip her up so that she would fail out. Every time she didn't only seemed to make them more determined to best her. Katie kept pushing herself, but it never seemed to be good enough. She would never let them see her cry, the bloody wankers. She never let on how much it hurt to be in this position, how much she wished to have even one friend out of the lot.
It was only October. She had until the end of December, and then the program was done. Katie was leaning toward taking the optional extra six month program before formally enrolling in the Artifact Investigation program. It would give her a stronger background as well as show her commitment to the job. The Artifact Investigation program was a very small one, only ten people maximum allowed to enroll. Most of the time, it had six. Katie thought perhaps she would be one of those, but wanted to be absolutely certain.
The usual owl that took her letters to her mum lighted onto her shoulder. Katie smiled and retreated to her usual corner of the owlery to compose a letter to her mum. She was meeting with Ginny and Draco soon enough, and it wouldn't help to be seen glowering at them as if she hated the idea of mentoring them.
***
"You want to be an Auror?" Draco asked, curious as they waited for Katie to arrive by floo in one of the faculty conference rooms.
Ginny traced the wood grain in the table they were sitting at. "Something like that. My brother's a Curse Breaker. I was thinking of being a Rune Hunter."
Draco didn't laugh at her the way she expected him to. He looked thoughtful instead. "It's probably... interesting?" he offered finally. "What do they even do?"
"They're the experts in runes and runic derivations on things. So think of wards and advanced level potions needing enchantments on them. That's what I want to do."
"No offense, Weasley, but I wouldn't want you anywhere near my family's wards."
Ginny snickered. "Too afraid I'd add something in there to turn your hair blue?"
"I was thinking of your reputation," Draco returned smoothly. "It would look bad for you if you couldn't figure them out."
Ginny's response was cut off by the roar of the fire turning green and Katie appearing through the flames. She dusted off her Cadet robes and looked at her two protégées. "You both seem to be doing fairly well," she said by way of greeting.
"Still alive, for all that counts," Ginny said in response.
"I have top marks now," Draco told Katie.
It was odd, to know that he was the one that had ruined her seventh year when she didn't. She wasn't exactly friendly with him, but she didn't look at him with the fear and loathing that she probably would have had otherwise. Draco almost wanted to tell her, to ask if she could forgive him for nearly destroying her. But she hadn't been the target of that locket, and she had been nothing more than an innocent bystander. Collateral damage, his father had said. His father hadn't even cared that Katie was a Pureblood from an old wizarding village in the north, that her parents were neutral in the war. Narcissa had been shocked by the turn of events, but Draco could hear her unspoken thoughts: Better her than you.
Katie pulled up a chair in front of them and put down her satchel. "All right. Have you gotten a chance to look at that extra reading I gave you last time?"
The standard promotional pamphlets had been what she had started with, as well as answering any questions they had based on that. Their next meeting had been full of recommendations for classes and some extra readings for Defense Against the Dark Arts, especially since they were no longer covering defense at school.
They went through what they had read, and it turned into a fairly lively discussion regarding defensive and offensive strategies. Draco had a tendency toward strong defense, Ginny was so focused on offense that sometimes she didn't defend herself properly. "This turned out to be a really good balance, then," Katie told them with a grin. "The two of you make a solid team if you take everything into account."
Ginny blinked and looked at Draco as if she had never seen him before. Considering she had only thought of him as a reasonable alternative of all the potential Death Eaters, he had turned out to be a better sort of bloke than she had ever given him credit for. "I suppose you're right," she said cautiously.
"I'd have to ask the Headmaster if I'm allowed to do spellwork with you and not just theory," Katie mused. "I think it would be nice to actually see how the dueling would work."
Ginny looked down at the table darkly. "It probably won't be a good idea. There's enough dueling and spellwork at the moment."
Katie frowned at Ginny. "What are you talking about?"
"We told you that it's just the Dark Arts now," Ginny began, her tongue feeling thick and heavy in her mouth. She didn't want to admit how many times she'd been cursed or hexed by her fellow classmates, how alone she felt as one of the few sixth year Gryffindors left.
"We're supposed to practice the curses on each other," Draco supplied when Ginny didn't continue speaking. "There are more Gryffindor seventh years than sixth years right now."
The irrational anger that had plagued Katie for months flared, and for a moment she thought that even Draco could see the curse scars she carried. But the moment passed, and she had control of her anger again. "I see." She pursed her lips, looking for all the world as if she was just vaguely annoyed at something. Not enough milk for her coffee, perhaps. "Well, then. I'll have to teach you a few spells to protect yourselves."
"Look, it's not-" Draco began. He wasn't the one on the receiving end of most curses.
But Katie had already stood up, her wand in hand. "The first thing you should know is a simple pain blocking spell. It takes the edge off of the worst spells, even Cruciatus."
Both teens goggled at her. "How do you know that?" Ginny asked.
"It's part of our training. We cast the spell on ourselves and an instructor puts us under. Another instructor monitors us to be sure we don't get hurt by the exercise." She looked at their shock and merely shrugged. "Sometimes the only way to find out if you can do something is to just do it and see what happens."
Draco accepted that explanation, but Ginny still looked horrified. "But..."
"They'd have to withstand torture, Weasley," Draco told her flatly. "So would you, if you manage to join up." Draco didn't mention his own future; he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with it, and he already knew more than enough about torture already.
"Well, this takes the edge off, and it depends on how well you manage to cast it," Katie told them, looking at them both closely. "I'm not telling you to go casting Unforgiveables at each other, but I'm sure it will at least come in handy."
She taught them the spell, which felt as though it coated their nerve endings in cool jelly. Katie didn't mention that even a partially numbed Cruciatus hurt like hell, or that she was the only one in her class still able to stand up after their instructors cast the curse on them. She had felt worse with the cursed necklace, so she was able to put it into perspective. The pain from Cruciatus was as much mental as physical; while the body was under excruciating pain, the mind could worsen that even further simply by believing in it. Katie had gone into the class knowing she tolerated more pain than the instructors could imagine, so it hadn't affected her as badly as the others. The other Cadets hated her for it, for staggering about but still standing. If it had been a real duel, she would have been able to cast something back at her attacker. The others would have continued to suffer until their attackers felt like stopping.
"I'll see you next month, then," Katie said at the close of their meeting. "Unless you want to meet up sooner than that? I wouldn't want to give you too much extra work."
"Maybe two weeks?" Ginny suggested. "You could teach us some more useful spells like this."
Katie waited until Draco nodded as well. "All right, then. Two weeks, same time as this." She smiled, though both teens could tell that it was nothing like her previous smiles used to be.
Ginny pulled Katie aside before she could go through the floo. She glared at Draco, indicating that he should at least turn around to give them a semblance of privacy. Rolling his eyes, he did as she asked. He missed the parchment that Ginny slipped into Katie's pocket. "Is there anything for nightmares?" she asked, knowing full well that Draco was listening.
"Which ones are these?"
"From... Well, from a while ago," Ginny murmured. "I don't want a draught. They don't do much but suppress them, so that the nightmares are even worse or more frequent once I stop. But they've come more often since school started."
Katie frowned at Ginny. She could tell this was more than just a ruse for whatever Ginny really wanted to know. "I'm no head healer..." she began, spreading her arms out helplessly. She had a hard enough time dealing with her own nightmares.
"Yeah, I know, but... What do you do with yours? How do you stop them?"
Katie rubbed at her face, seeing the silver cracks beneath her skin that she couldn't feel. "I don't, Ginny," she said, weariness seeping into her voice. "I just keep going, that's all."
"How can you keep going, though?" Ginny asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Draco turned around to stare at them in wonder, not sure what to say. He wasn't meant to hear this, but he had never thought there might be effects past the obvious ones.
Katie swept Ginny up into a tight hug. "You'll keep going because you have a goal in mind. You have to keep moving, that's all. Some days are better than others, but you'll keep moving. Mind, it's tough and no one will ever understand how badly it hurts sometimes, but you will be able to do it. I know that for a fact."
Ginny pulled away and discreetly wiped at her eyes. "Thanks. Maybe I just needed to hear that."
Nodding, Katie smiled gently at her. "It helps to know there's at least one person willing to listen when the time comes. Do you need me to stay a bit?"
"I..." She turned and caught Draco's expression, the way his lips parted in surprise and shock. "It isn't a good time now, I suppose."
"I'll head to Hogsmeade on your next weekend, then. I'll meet up with you and we'll talk over lunch, then."
"They're going to start canceling Hogsmeade weekends soon," Draco blurted suddenly. He didn't want to dash Ginny's hopes, but she had to know the truth. "Unless you've a pass or with someone that has a pass. They're going to start that just before hols, probably."
Ginny's shoulders slumped. "Well, there's some time, then."
"You'll make it work," Katie told her, giving her hand a squeeze of support. She wanted to tell Ginny that it got better with time. But Ginny had her interaction with a cursed object years ago and still had nightmares, so that would be a lie. The only thing Katie knew how to do at this point was fight, and that was the most advice she could give. Fight and fight and fight, and even when knocked down, fight some more. It was the only way she was able to battle her way out of St. Mungo's and back into school, then graduate on time and now do well in the law enforcement program. It was the only thing that helped ease the sick feelings her nightmares left her with.
Ginny watched her leave with a sigh. She was startled by Draco touching her arm gently, by the look of compassion on his face. She hadn't thought he was capable of it.
"Come on," he told her in a soft voice. "You'd better be heading back to the tower. You don't want to be caught out after hours again. There's only so much help I can give you."
"Why are you helping me?" she asked, her voice just as soft and hushed.
Because you're a friend of Myrtle's. Because I like trading insults with you. Because you don't treat me like a pariah or an utter failure. Because you're pretty. Because I actually almost like you. Any or all of the sentiments would have applied, but Draco couldn't say a single one of them. He merely shrugged and gestured for her to exit the conference room.
"You have to be doing this for a reason," Ginny insisted.
"Perhaps," Draco replied, sidestepping the question. "But I wouldn't tell you what it was, now would I?"
She accepted that, and they walked in silence to Gryffindor Tower. It was a comfortable silence, though, and Ginny wondered when she started thinking of Draco Malfoy as someone she could be comfortable around, especially after what his father had done to her. But he was courteous to her most of the time now, though they still had their verbal sparring matches.
If she didn't know any better, Ginny would have called Draco Malfoy a friend.
***
"Tell me about the nightmares," Draco asked Ginny. It was three weeks after she had mentioned them to Katie. They sometimes talked after hours, meeting up in a classroom that Draco suggested. It was an area Filch generally didn't frequent, and the other Death Eaters in the castle didn't bother with that particular area of the castle.
Ginny remembered the time she had mentioned them; she had pushed a letter into Katie's pocket, sharing information about the Death Eaters at the school, what classes were like and what kinds of things were said in the halls. Ginny had hoped it would be useful for the Order, that something could be done about it. Katie had sent her an owl a week later thanking her for information, though nothing could be done about it at all. Ginny supposed that she should be thankful Katie at least tried on her behalf.
Draco tolerated her silence. It wasn't an easy thing to talk about, and she had only mentioned it once. He had been reluctant to bring up the topic at all, but she had seemed to be more and more withdrawn as the term dragged on. It could be all the detentions she had gotten, all the times she and her little friends had tried to use the Room of Requirement to meet. Draco knew about the meetings, but hadn't said a word. He didn't exactly know why.
"Look, it's not a big deal," she began, shrugging at him.
"It was enough of a big deal to tell Bell," Draco pointed out. "Enough that you didn't want me hearing about it even though I wasn't that far away."
Ginny didn't deny that; though bringing up the nightmares had been something of a ruse at the time, they did exist and they did bother her. She remained silent for a while, rubbing the inside of her right wrist absently.
"I'm a friend, aren't I?" Draco asked quietly.
She looked up, startled. "What?"
"We talk sometimes. Spend time together... You spend as much time with me as you do Longbottom and the rest of that lot. We might say a lot of shite, but we don't actually hex each other to death. Nowadays, that's as close to friendship as anyone gets."
Ginny felt so sad for him, that friendship was measured by how little someone hurt him. "I suppose," she murmured. She quirked her lips into a smile. "That doesn't mean I want to discuss any nightmares with you. Or anyone else."
"Point," he allowed. "But they bother you. I can tell."
It should have bothered her that he could. She frowned at him to cover her confusion. "What do you mean, you can tell?"
"You're always tired in the morning, and you're distracted late in the evening, like you're trying to avoid sleep. You aren't rested, and sometimes your insults fall short of the mark." Draco leaned back and took in her appearance. "You're not even pushing me away very hard right now, are you? If you really wanted me to back off, you'd be walking out of that door."
That was true enough. Yet something in her wanted to stay. There was a certain amount of peace that came from talking to Draco, from sitting next to him and not having him expect anything at all from her. She could be whoever she was, whatever she wanted to be, and it didn't matter to him. He accepted her at face value and didn't ridicule her for wanting to join the law enforcement program, for wanting to be someone other than a pawn in an elaborate game or merely the girl walking in Harry Potter's shadow.
"I've had them since my first year," Ginny said quietly. She was looking at the chalkboard, not at him, and Draco moved closer to her. She spoke so faintly, any noise would have muffled the sound of her words. "I did a lot of awful things while possessed."
Draco didn't know all of the particulars of that time period, but he knew the gist of it. "So what are they about?"
Ginny looked at him, eyes wide and hopeless. "In my dreams I still know Parselmouth, and I still control the basilisk. I like it."
He grasped her hand and she startled at the contact. Draco didn't know why he was doing any of this exactly. His mind kept circling back to the fact that she was Myrtle's friend, that she wasn't as horrible as he thought she was, and that he felt guilty enough for his role in how terrible things were at school for everyone. "Let's go," he said brusquely, pulling her to her feet.
"Where are we going?" she asked, starting to grow frightened. His gaze was intense on her, and though he hadn't done anything untoward yet, she was almost afraid that he was breaking under the pressure the other Death Eaters were putting on him. Would this be the time he finally caved and started torturing people?
But they were at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
She pulled away from him, backing up against the bathroom wall. "Look, we'll just forget this whole thing," she offered. "We don't need to talk about it anymore..."
Draco was beside her, pulling her inside so that she faced the serpentine sinks. "I saw you that day Myrtle kicked you out. I didn't believe my eyes, but I knew it was you. Open it up."
Ginny shook her head. "This is stupid..."
"You need to see it," Draco told her, voice soft. "You need to see it for what it is, to know that it's there and it's not something you dreamed up. You need to see it and know it's over."
She looked at him then, really looked, and the sense of being hunted fell away. He wasn't as bad as the Carrows or Snape or any of the other Death Eaters visiting the castle that liked to send curses her way. The red hair gave her away every time, and it was a target she couldn't easily hide. Draco wasn't treating her that way, for whatever reason, and she did trust him. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why.
Ginny stood in front of the tap and began to speak, a soft susurrus as the Parselmouth words began to form. Open.
Draco was startled when the sink opened, even though he knew it should have. Ginny slid down the opening and waited for Draco to follow her before closing the sink up after them. She lit her wand and waited for Draco to do the same. "There's a whole network of tunnels beneath the castle and inside the walls. I explored a lot of the area a while ago, but I don't know the whole system. Just a few of the hallways in this wing, really."
"So you could probably get away from a lot more of the punishments than you do."
"Maybe," Ginny told him quietly. "I'd be leaving the others behind, though."
"Unless you brought them with you," Draco pointed out. He didn't know why he was advocating this at all, though the thought of Ginny under Crucio bothered him.
"I'd have to explain this, show people..." She looked at Draco and her lips curled in something resembling a smile. "No, I don't think so. What's happening is horrible enough, and they don't need to know what else is in the dark, do they?"
"What do you think is in the dark, then?" Draco asked, curious.
"More monsters," Ginny said quietly. "More Death Eaters and pain and horrible things. I know it's real, even if they don't yet."
Draco didn't have the heart to tell her how bad it would get, that there were plans for coercing parents using their children, that the children themselves were sometimes targets. Some of the Death Eaters visiting his parents were actively looking for likely Order members out of the children and torturing them before they could join up. He suspected that some of Ginny's punishments and attacks were in the same vein.
Ginny led him through the tunnels, her breath growing more erratic as they went. She was afraid, he realized, and he reached out to grasp her hand tightly. She looked at him uncertainly, a vulnerable expression on her face. Draco felt a swift possessive and protective urge rise in him, and he couldn't have explained why she suddenly mattered to him. This was more than caring because she was Myrtle's friend, too. This was more than realizing she was a capable witch in her own right that had a wicked sense of humor.
"I'm here with you," he murmured, looking at her rising panic. "I'll help."
"I'm only going back because you're here," she said, her voice breaking. "Sometimes I'm afraid he's still there, waiting in the dark." Sometimes I still hear him, she wanted to say, but no one knew about that, really.
Harry had never asked her about it, and suddenly Ginny hated him for that. He could easily forget about everyone's pain, and Ginny would always remember.
Draco slid his hand along her arm, until he touched her shoulder. Her eyes were wide, watching him, and he moved closer. He was close enough to see every freckle on her face, the flutter of her lips and the way her eyelashes curled. "If he's there," Draco began slowly, not knowing precisely who this "he" should have been, "he'll have to get through me first."
"Thank you," Ginny whispered, grasping hold of his arm tightly.
Together they walked through the tunnels. Ginny pointed out the claw marks, the scrapes where basilisk scales had banged into the walls. Draco was a calming presence beside her, and she found herself telling him things about her first year, that damned diary and how alone she had been. Draco didn't laugh, and kept asking questions. He listened, and he seemed to understand what she had felt.
And then he told her about repairing the Vanishing Cabinet, knowing that everyone expected him to fail. His parents had been threatened, and he knew his life would be forfeit as well. He hadn't been able to kill anyone, hadn't been able to cross that line. But Snape had on his behalf, because his mother had known he wouldn't be able to kill. Draco had been an angry boy with petty schoolboy rivalries, but he wasn't a killer. Crabbe and Goyle had started to pull away from him, or perhaps he had been more shirty with them than normal.
They stepped into the large open space that had once held the basilisk. Ginny's hand tightened on Draco's arm, and they stood there staring at the shadows. Draco created an illumination ball the way Katie had taught them, and let it hang suspended in the air. It lit up the cavern, and the stone face across the area stared at them.
"Salazar Slytherin, I suppose," Draco guessed. Ginny nodded. "Ugly bloke, wasn't he?"
Startled, Ginny began to laugh. "Yeah, he was, wasn't he?"
Draco slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She didn't protest, and it only just occurred to him that perhaps she should have. But it was nice that she didn't. He could smell her shampoo and the subtle perfume she wore, could feel the way her body molded against his. It was comfortable and soothing, though he couldn't have said why. They were in a cold, damp cavern that had once housed a basilisk. This was the place of her nightmares, the place where she had nearly died.
He kissed her forehead. Ginny tilted her face up, contemplating his face. Draco looked at her, almost expectant, waiting for her to say something. She knew that he would say something supportive. Or be sarcastic if she was feeling sorry for herself, making her laugh. She hadn't been expecting this from him, but this was exactly what she needed. After a moment, she leaned in and kissed his mouth.
It wasn't exactly spectacular, as far as kisses went. Not that she really had many toe-curling ones at this point, but she knew this one wasn't it. The kiss was gentle pressure and chapped lips, noses bumping and eyes wide open. But it held the promise of more, of so much more, and Ginny couldn't help but smile as she pulled back. Draco seemed stunned.
"I think I can do better than that, yeah?" she asked him teasingly. Before he could answer her, she leaned in again to kiss him.
This kiss was soft and tentative, but deepened as Draco's hands wound through her hair. Her cold hands rested on his shoulders, pulling him even closer. Her mouth opened beneath his, and his tongue slipped inside to taste her. His arms moved down, holding her close, and Ginny felt safe for the first time all year.
Ginny ended the kiss first, drawing back for breath. Her emotions were simmering close to the surface. Draco could suddenly read her easily, as if her thoughts were his own. She needed someone to accept her as she was; she was flawed and shattered, but had somehow pieced herself back together in to this hopeful and strong girl that no one else could see. Draco cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead lightly.
"This is just a cave now," Draco began, lips quirking into a smile. "With a really ugly statue sitting in it. Wanna break it?"
Ginny laughed. "I would love to."
Casting Reducto had never felt so good.
***
***