Chapter 1 [Choi Siwon]

[eunjo_yesung]

Title: Destiny
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Siwon/OC
Summary: Siwon is the typical of a perfect young man he have everything and Hana is a young woman who feel that everybody doesn’t want her. They both suffer from the thing that called ‘LOVE’. They met in a inappropriate way, leaving a bad first impression for both of them.’ Will they find

Comments

[hana_yo]

It's your 1st fanfiction? I think it's a really good start. I enjoyed reading it and I'm curious how it'll continue. Your descriptions were good and I liked your way of writing in general. =)
I hope it's okay if I leave some critique as well.. >.<
I read your profile and English is not your 1st language - as I predicted. Maybe you can try to find someone who betas your writing? You often forgot little words like articles or... what are they called in English... particles (?) as well as the “s” in the 3rd person on verbs or mixed up the tenses in general. I'm neither a native speaker, but those things struck me eye. (Please don't be mad. >-<)

I hope you're going to continue ^^

PS: As I said above I read your introduction and the point about f(x) and their closest SuJu-member. I slightly disagree with Victoria and Kyu. I guess she's way closer with Zhou Mi ^3^

[eunjo_yesung]

Wow, thank you so much for reading this crappy story. hehehe.
Yes, I appreciate your advice and I'm actually in the middle of finding someone who actually want to beta-ed my fic.
once again, Thank you for reading! :)))

PS: Hahaha, I don't really expect that anyone will read my introduction. Oh well.
Victoria and Zhoumi really are close, but She said it on a few radio shows before that the 'Kyu-Line' are the people whom she really close with at SMEnt

[hana_yo]

You are welcome ^^
It's good to hear you're searching for someone to beta them, because it would really improve the enjoyment while reading.

Sometimes read the instruction, because I hope for hits that the person can speak my mother tongue xD
Ahhh, okay. I honestly never heard a radioshow or something alike with her =)

[ext_1171761]

hello ^^ i think u have a good start for the story. but like the first comment have said, i think your fic ought to be beta'd due to the number of grammatical errors.
I hope u dont take this very bad. I appreciate it that you shared your fic with us; as I said, you have a good plot in hand.

[eunjo_yesung]

Hey There, thanks before for reading :))) and give your advice for me.
Yes, I notice that. I'm in the mid for searching someone who's kind enough to beta-ed my fic.