"what does this mean?" i asked, mimicking his movements. "it's the physical manifestation of how you feel inside," he replied. we continued to dance together under the moonlight while i, trying so hard not to be shy, allowed myself to smile.

i loved the ride home in yr bakkie...sitting on top of darrell, my arm swimming through the air watching the cerulean waves crash on the beach beside us. i looked through the back window with squinted eyes, hair swirling around my face, the sun rising and lighting windsheilds of the cars behind us. we sang together,

celebrate we will ( Read more... )

i could tame all the tigers in your bloodstream
can you lay all my ghosts in their graves?
but what you couldn't find in books
(and you've broken every spine)
is that i'll make,
i'll make you mine
yeah, i'll make,
i'll make you mine
'cause i love you so, tonight
and i promise that i will send my fears away
i'll make you mine.

-rm

"the only girls worth talking to are the ones that drink beer."

i haven't gotten much sleep since. we found ourselves standing in a circle in the parking lot, 5 strangers trying to negotiate a cab. these boys asked if wisconsin was by the ocean and if new york was in california, us laughing hysterically. we took the lift up and ran down the hall balcony and into his place, shared a bit of durban poison out the ( Read more... )

i still think of that first time. you were worried i'd get lost with drunk percy and his almost empty lighter on the long walk home. instead i waited, and we walked together barefoot in the mud. i held onto toby laughing and you held out the torch in front of us, kicking at my legs. i sat down next to you and buried my face in your shoulder when ( Read more... )

when i asked you what one thing you would take away from that place was, you said, "to want nothing." i think we'll rise again together to the same sun [to the same rooster crowing and flies buzzing around our faces and the ocean against the rocks and the children laughing in the river and the women speaking "molo sisi" and all of our questions and ( Read more... )

you tore me right apart, peeled away my skin, layer by layer. we are so clumsy, stumbling over all that which wasn't said between us. and you asked me why we never say what we really want, why i wouldn't rub or hold the torch. its not that i didn't want to, its that i wasn't sure how you'd put me back together.

South African Airways Flight #204 04 January 2006 departing New York (JFK) arriving Johannesburg (JNB)
South African Airways Flight #203 21 June 2006 departing Johannesburg (JNB) arriving New York (JFK)

i woke up burnt out, from smoking too much and drinking too much and wanting you too much. but we were all being so loud and laughing so hard. and now this place smells like an ashtray and there's too many empties and i'm jittery from the coffee but still, you just can't turn me on and off.