I have said too much unto a heart of stone and laid mine honour too unchary out.
[Monday, 26 April, early evening]
[Day 330]
[Tavern of Hell, Verdi’s apartment]
Forgot Sunday was the day Ri took off, or I’d have made more plans to be scarce yesterday. As it was we sort of danced around each other. I cooked, and she went out to shop but didn’t come back with anything,and it was just awkward as hell. Ended up going over to the ‘Boy early and fiddling the alarm system and the hinges and anything else I could find until Miao made me sit down and have some tea with her. Didn’t exactly tell her what was wrong, but I think she guessed something was up.
Woke up this morning dreading my own night off, which I don’t think has ever happened before. Managed to doze on the couch until noon, and then Verite decided that she needed to do things in her room. Couldn’t think of anything left to cook, either, and though the day’s nice enough I’m sick of taking walks. For once I found myself wishing for some work to do outside, splitting rails or hauling brush. Something hard. Because anything’s easier than being in a space with someone just barely tolerating you.
Get thinking on hard things, then, and Arkady, and Iago, and Verdi. One I’ve not seen lately and one wouldn’t have me and one…one is lovely and lithe and strong enough to move me where she wants and hold me there, and smile all while she’s doing it. There’s a twist of something in me that eases when I think of that, and I gather up my courage and go ask Ri if she’d mind.
She says no, why would she, and I think she means it, so I make myself ask she minds if I spend the night at the Tavern, if Verdi wants me. She says I can stay if I want to, and then she goes out in the shop, though I know she’s nothing to do out there. So I have my shower, scalding hot and short, and find my nice jeans and a clean shirt and walk down to the Tavern with my hair still a bit wet.
Thomas is at the bar when I go in, and he pours me a shot of brandy for my nerves, and we flirt a little, quietly, though I think he’s doing it more for the game of it than anything else. He doesn’t seem surprised when I ask after Verdi, and tells me she’s in her apartment and I should go on up. I don’t want the man, but I do like him, and so I tip him and climb the stairs, my hands shaking a little because the liquor hasn’t quite kicked in. I steady myself to knock, and then I lean against the wall just outside, wishing I’d let her know I was coming, or brought something for a gift.
[OPEN to Verdandi]
CLOSED
[Day 330]
[Tavern of Hell, Verdi’s apartment]
Forgot Sunday was the day Ri took off, or I’d have made more plans to be scarce yesterday. As it was we sort of danced around each other. I cooked, and she went out to shop but didn’t come back with anything,and it was just awkward as hell. Ended up going over to the ‘Boy early and fiddling the alarm system and the hinges and anything else I could find until Miao made me sit down and have some tea with her. Didn’t exactly tell her what was wrong, but I think she guessed something was up.
Woke up this morning dreading my own night off, which I don’t think has ever happened before. Managed to doze on the couch until noon, and then Verite decided that she needed to do things in her room. Couldn’t think of anything left to cook, either, and though the day’s nice enough I’m sick of taking walks. For once I found myself wishing for some work to do outside, splitting rails or hauling brush. Something hard. Because anything’s easier than being in a space with someone just barely tolerating you.
Get thinking on hard things, then, and Arkady, and Iago, and Verdi. One I’ve not seen lately and one wouldn’t have me and one…one is lovely and lithe and strong enough to move me where she wants and hold me there, and smile all while she’s doing it. There’s a twist of something in me that eases when I think of that, and I gather up my courage and go ask Ri if she’d mind.
She says no, why would she, and I think she means it, so I make myself ask she minds if I spend the night at the Tavern, if Verdi wants me. She says I can stay if I want to, and then she goes out in the shop, though I know she’s nothing to do out there. So I have my shower, scalding hot and short, and find my nice jeans and a clean shirt and walk down to the Tavern with my hair still a bit wet.
Thomas is at the bar when I go in, and he pours me a shot of brandy for my nerves, and we flirt a little, quietly, though I think he’s doing it more for the game of it than anything else. He doesn’t seem surprised when I ask after Verdi, and tells me she’s in her apartment and I should go on up. I don’t want the man, but I do like him, and so I tip him and climb the stairs, my hands shaking a little because the liquor hasn’t quite kicked in. I steady myself to knock, and then I lean against the wall just outside, wishing I’d let her know I was coming, or brought something for a gift.
[OPEN to Verdandi]
CLOSED