Fic Post
All the fandom activity of late has got the creative juices flowing, alas those juices are spiked. Horatio/Archie, implied Archie/Wellard, rated G (just).
I stand in front of Pellew and try to remain impassive, to concentrate on the uncomfortable heat instead of any other reason to be uneasy. I have been summoned and I can surmise why. Pellew is shaking his head as he addresses me; he is still wearing the same expression of disbelief that he has worn since the Renown arrived in Kingston with her mad captain and her skittish lieutenants. We had feared a court martial but in the bright light of Kingston such a fear seemed foolish. No one could lay eyes on Sawyer and believe him a sound witness, he was currently ‘resting’ in the comfort of a locked room and his fall into the hold was thought no more of.
Pellew uses the most delicate phrasing he can think of, “There were signs of…activity. Did you find him careless in general?”
I pause for a moment, to consider my conscience more than my words for I have rehearsed this in my mind throughout the morning, “We suspected he was addicted to laudanum, Sir. That would no doubt have dulled his wits. There were so many other problems to contend with though…” Not a word is a lie so I attempt to quite the voice inside me that accuses me of defaming the dead and of failure in my duty of care.
Pellew merely closes his eyes, “Good God, how you managed to accomplish anything on that ship, Mr. Hornblower…”
I nod in reply, tacitly accepting the compliment for it is more expedient than arguing the point, I remind him though, “I was not alone, Sir.”
Pellew does not reply directly, his thoughts seemingly still focused on the matter at hand, “Propriety demands there be an investigation of course, but I see little point. Who would have noticed one particular dockside whore when we’re over run with them here? Still, poor little bugger, a slit throat is a high price to pay for a pox ridden tumble.”
I feel the muscles in my jaw and neck tighten but I says nothing for fear I would betray myself, Pellew seems to have said all he has to say on the matter and his expression cheers, “Now, Mr. Hornblower, about that Spanish ship you managed to capture...”
~
I cannot feel excitement as I make my way back to the room; only relief that I am being rewarded and therefore cannot be suspected. For one panicked moment it occurs to me that it may an elaborate trap that is being laid, but I dismiss the notion almost at once. I am not in one of Archie’s plays, this is reality.
It is Archie I turn my thoughts to; at least I have good news to share, the news of my promotion and therefore his elevation to first lieutenant. When I enter our room he is standing at the table with a basin of water that is overflowing with soap foam, I stare at it and wonder exactly how much soap Archie has used and if there’s any left. I am still looking at the soapy water splashing over the sides when Archie informs me, “I can’t get it all out from under my nails.”
I do not need to ask what it is Archie cannot remove. I lift my eyes from the basin to see the beginning of panic on Archie’s face and cross the room to gestures for his hands. His hands are raw from scrubbing, but that is the only cause of any redness to them. I can’t see so much as a speck of blood.
“There’s nothing there, Archie, your hands are clean.”
Archie looks at me in disbelief before looking back down at his own hands; he glances up at me again before muttering, “Out damned spot” and examining his hands once more. I lift his hands to my lips and kiss them, it’s a gesture of distraction that elicits a brief smile before Archie remembers and asks sharply, “What did Pellew want?”
I could tell Archie of my promotion but I know that is not what he is asking, “They’ve found the body.” I do not tell him they think it was a whore; it is what we hoped they would assume. The panic returns to Archie’s face, his eyes widen and he inhales a breath as if it may be his last. It passes in an instant though and he hisses, “I don’t regret it, he threatened you, I’d do it again.”
I nod at that, but I say nothing. I would have happily wrung the boy’s neck there and then, when he came to us with his ultimatum. If Wellard had only left Archie out of it, I would have done anything he asked. Wellard did not want money; or anything else that I could possibly have given him, he had wanted Archie. I had seen Wellard looking at Archie but I had thought little of it, I had thought Wellard’s admiration akin to that of a puppy’s. I should have known better.
Wellard had seen me push Sawyer though and threatened to tell all, his silence could only be bought, Wellard claimed, with Archie’s body. I had been half way across the room to twist the boy’s neck until I heard the satisfaction of a snap when Archie had agreed while grabbing my arm to haul me back.
Once Wellard had departed, back to his laudanum and his filthy thoughts no doubt, I had been sure that Archie had only said it to get rid of him. I had been horrified by Archie’s plan; I could not ask him to do that for me. Archie had insisted that it had to be done, that it was the only way to be free of the threat and it was the only way to minimise the sound of a struggle. I did not ask how far Archie had gone with the ruse, it was not my business, as he had told me himself, Archie’s body was his own to do with as he wished. I would not demean him by acting as if I had more say over it than he did; as others had done.
My train of thought is broken when Archie suddenly grabs the front of my coat to insist, “I would never let anyone hurt you, or threaten you, never. I had to do it.”
I tilt my head at that, again having no answer to give him, and so bring my lips to his, Archie responds eagerly, moving his hands up from the front of my coat to my hair. This is the only way I can think to calm him, to reassure him that whatever comes next we will face it together. I slide my hands under his shirt and feel the warmth of his skin. He is still warm while others lie cold and it makes it worth it. Archie pulls away from me suddenly.
“I didn’t think it would bother me…I’ve killed men before, he was my enemy, wasn’t he?”
He is looking at me for reassurance, words that I do not have. This is my fault, my responsibility for if I had not pushed Sawyer…but I know he will become angry if I say this. It is only one what if amongst many at any rate, what if the I had not pushed Sawyer, what if the laudanum had not warped Wellard’s mind and affection, what if that bullet had hit Archie’s chest instead of merely grazing his back, it would be him lying dead now and I would wish to join him. He wants me to tell him that we did the right thing, but I cannot do so for I still see Sawyer falling when I close my eyes. There is something I can say though.
“Pellew had other news; I have been given a ship, Archie.”
“A ship?” He sounds confused at the news, wary, and in truth it is not the reaction I had hoped for. I nod though and try to inject my voice with enthusiasm, “Our own ship, Archie, as we always planned.” Our own ship; where the Sawyers and the Simpsons of the world couldn’t touch us. We would be safe then; together.
The ramifications of the news appear to sink in and Archie smiles before leaning forward to kiss me once more.
I stand in front of Pellew and try to remain impassive, to concentrate on the uncomfortable heat instead of any other reason to be uneasy. I have been summoned and I can surmise why. Pellew is shaking his head as he addresses me; he is still wearing the same expression of disbelief that he has worn since the Renown arrived in Kingston with her mad captain and her skittish lieutenants. We had feared a court martial but in the bright light of Kingston such a fear seemed foolish. No one could lay eyes on Sawyer and believe him a sound witness, he was currently ‘resting’ in the comfort of a locked room and his fall into the hold was thought no more of.
Pellew uses the most delicate phrasing he can think of, “There were signs of…activity. Did you find him careless in general?”
I pause for a moment, to consider my conscience more than my words for I have rehearsed this in my mind throughout the morning, “We suspected he was addicted to laudanum, Sir. That would no doubt have dulled his wits. There were so many other problems to contend with though…” Not a word is a lie so I attempt to quite the voice inside me that accuses me of defaming the dead and of failure in my duty of care.
Pellew merely closes his eyes, “Good God, how you managed to accomplish anything on that ship, Mr. Hornblower…”
I nod in reply, tacitly accepting the compliment for it is more expedient than arguing the point, I remind him though, “I was not alone, Sir.”
Pellew does not reply directly, his thoughts seemingly still focused on the matter at hand, “Propriety demands there be an investigation of course, but I see little point. Who would have noticed one particular dockside whore when we’re over run with them here? Still, poor little bugger, a slit throat is a high price to pay for a pox ridden tumble.”
I feel the muscles in my jaw and neck tighten but I says nothing for fear I would betray myself, Pellew seems to have said all he has to say on the matter and his expression cheers, “Now, Mr. Hornblower, about that Spanish ship you managed to capture...”
~
I cannot feel excitement as I make my way back to the room; only relief that I am being rewarded and therefore cannot be suspected. For one panicked moment it occurs to me that it may an elaborate trap that is being laid, but I dismiss the notion almost at once. I am not in one of Archie’s plays, this is reality.
It is Archie I turn my thoughts to; at least I have good news to share, the news of my promotion and therefore his elevation to first lieutenant. When I enter our room he is standing at the table with a basin of water that is overflowing with soap foam, I stare at it and wonder exactly how much soap Archie has used and if there’s any left. I am still looking at the soapy water splashing over the sides when Archie informs me, “I can’t get it all out from under my nails.”
I do not need to ask what it is Archie cannot remove. I lift my eyes from the basin to see the beginning of panic on Archie’s face and cross the room to gestures for his hands. His hands are raw from scrubbing, but that is the only cause of any redness to them. I can’t see so much as a speck of blood.
“There’s nothing there, Archie, your hands are clean.”
Archie looks at me in disbelief before looking back down at his own hands; he glances up at me again before muttering, “Out damned spot” and examining his hands once more. I lift his hands to my lips and kiss them, it’s a gesture of distraction that elicits a brief smile before Archie remembers and asks sharply, “What did Pellew want?”
I could tell Archie of my promotion but I know that is not what he is asking, “They’ve found the body.” I do not tell him they think it was a whore; it is what we hoped they would assume. The panic returns to Archie’s face, his eyes widen and he inhales a breath as if it may be his last. It passes in an instant though and he hisses, “I don’t regret it, he threatened you, I’d do it again.”
I nod at that, but I say nothing. I would have happily wrung the boy’s neck there and then, when he came to us with his ultimatum. If Wellard had only left Archie out of it, I would have done anything he asked. Wellard did not want money; or anything else that I could possibly have given him, he had wanted Archie. I had seen Wellard looking at Archie but I had thought little of it, I had thought Wellard’s admiration akin to that of a puppy’s. I should have known better.
Wellard had seen me push Sawyer though and threatened to tell all, his silence could only be bought, Wellard claimed, with Archie’s body. I had been half way across the room to twist the boy’s neck until I heard the satisfaction of a snap when Archie had agreed while grabbing my arm to haul me back.
Once Wellard had departed, back to his laudanum and his filthy thoughts no doubt, I had been sure that Archie had only said it to get rid of him. I had been horrified by Archie’s plan; I could not ask him to do that for me. Archie had insisted that it had to be done, that it was the only way to be free of the threat and it was the only way to minimise the sound of a struggle. I did not ask how far Archie had gone with the ruse, it was not my business, as he had told me himself, Archie’s body was his own to do with as he wished. I would not demean him by acting as if I had more say over it than he did; as others had done.
My train of thought is broken when Archie suddenly grabs the front of my coat to insist, “I would never let anyone hurt you, or threaten you, never. I had to do it.”
I tilt my head at that, again having no answer to give him, and so bring my lips to his, Archie responds eagerly, moving his hands up from the front of my coat to my hair. This is the only way I can think to calm him, to reassure him that whatever comes next we will face it together. I slide my hands under his shirt and feel the warmth of his skin. He is still warm while others lie cold and it makes it worth it. Archie pulls away from me suddenly.
“I didn’t think it would bother me…I’ve killed men before, he was my enemy, wasn’t he?”
He is looking at me for reassurance, words that I do not have. This is my fault, my responsibility for if I had not pushed Sawyer…but I know he will become angry if I say this. It is only one what if amongst many at any rate, what if the I had not pushed Sawyer, what if the laudanum had not warped Wellard’s mind and affection, what if that bullet had hit Archie’s chest instead of merely grazing his back, it would be him lying dead now and I would wish to join him. He wants me to tell him that we did the right thing, but I cannot do so for I still see Sawyer falling when I close my eyes. There is something I can say though.
“Pellew had other news; I have been given a ship, Archie.”
“A ship?” He sounds confused at the news, wary, and in truth it is not the reaction I had hoped for. I nod though and try to inject my voice with enthusiasm, “Our own ship, Archie, as we always planned.” Our own ship; where the Sawyers and the Simpsons of the world couldn’t touch us. We would be safe then; together.
The ramifications of the news appear to sink in and Archie smiles before leaning forward to kiss me once more.