Myshuno! 2012 Prompt: “When Britain Really Ruled The Waves!” (299 words)
The prompt for this story was “When Britain Really Ruled The Waves!,” submitted by joandsarah77. This story fits into Episode 1.3 of 100 Days of Awesome.
Rating: All audiences
Background
The song used as the prompt, “When Britain really ruled the waves,” describes how the House of Lords has contributed to Britain’s glory - by doing nothing at all! It is sung by a peer who admits that he greatly admires brains, and often wishes he had some himself. It seemed a perfect sequel to one of last year’s prompts, and has been written accordingly.
You may want to check out this video of the song in question. Although the orchestra is only sometimes in tune, the soloist is one of the best I’ve ever heard, and that includes on professional recordings.
Dramatis Personae
Allyn Tsvirkunov, adopted, aged about nine.
Descartes (Littledragon) Tsvirkunov, her grandfather, made of Awesome.
Setting
The living room.
ALLYN: Grampa, can I interview you for school? We’re supposed to ask someone in our family about their job.
DESCARTES: Sure, kiddo.
ALLYN: Okay, great! So you’re a Space Pirate, right? So that means you wear an eye patch and a fancy coat, right?
DESCARTES: No, you’ve seen the outfit. Blue-and-red spacesuit and awesome tricorn pirate hat. When we’re out in space, I add a big clear bubble helmet over the hat.
ALLYN: Oh, okay. So you’re in a big pirate ship in a bubble too?
DESCARTES: No, it’s a regular space ship. But we fly a pirate flag.
ALLYN: The Jolly Roger?
DESCARTES: A solid red flag. It’s more historically accurate.
ALLYN: Okay. (writes) What do you do on the ship?
DESCARTES: I’m the captain.
ALLYN: So you steer?
DESCARTES: No, that’s the helmsman.
ALLYN: Navigate?
DESCARTES: No, that’s the navigator.
ALLYN: Run engineering?
DESCARTES: I don’t understand that stuff.
ALLYN: Analyze things? Work in sick bay?
DESCARTES: I’m not a scholar like your grandma, kiddo.
ALLYN: Swab the deck?
DESCARTES: That’s why we have deck hands.
ALLYN: The galley?
DESCARTES: And that’s why we have a cook.
ALLYN: Make decisions? Maintain discipline? Keep the log?
DESCARTES: Meh, I leave all that to the first mate.
ALLYN: Sign stuff?
DESCARTES: Nah, we’re completely paperless. Very modern.
ALLYN: So what do you do, Grampa?
DESCARTES: Oh, nothing in particular. Mostly, I rock the hat. But you have to admit: I do that very well! (notices Allyn’s face) What’s wrong?
ALLYN: I just don’t know what to write, Grampa.
DESCARTES: Why write anything? I’ll give you an 8x10 glossy headshot of me totally rocking the hat.
ALLYN (dubiously): Signed?
DESCARTES: Well, how else are you going to get an A-plus?
ALLYN: (hugging Descartes enthusiastically) Thanks, Grampa! You’re the best!
Rating: All audiences
Background
The song used as the prompt, “When Britain really ruled the waves,” describes how the House of Lords has contributed to Britain’s glory - by doing nothing at all! It is sung by a peer who admits that he greatly admires brains, and often wishes he had some himself. It seemed a perfect sequel to one of last year’s prompts, and has been written accordingly.
You may want to check out this video of the song in question. Although the orchestra is only sometimes in tune, the soloist is one of the best I’ve ever heard, and that includes on professional recordings.
Dramatis Personae
Allyn Tsvirkunov, adopted, aged about nine.
Descartes (Littledragon) Tsvirkunov, her grandfather, made of Awesome.
Setting
The living room.
ALLYN: Grampa, can I interview you for school? We’re supposed to ask someone in our family about their job.
DESCARTES: Sure, kiddo.
ALLYN: Okay, great! So you’re a Space Pirate, right? So that means you wear an eye patch and a fancy coat, right?
DESCARTES: No, you’ve seen the outfit. Blue-and-red spacesuit and awesome tricorn pirate hat. When we’re out in space, I add a big clear bubble helmet over the hat.
ALLYN: Oh, okay. So you’re in a big pirate ship in a bubble too?
DESCARTES: No, it’s a regular space ship. But we fly a pirate flag.
ALLYN: The Jolly Roger?
DESCARTES: A solid red flag. It’s more historically accurate.
ALLYN: Okay. (writes) What do you do on the ship?
DESCARTES: I’m the captain.
ALLYN: So you steer?
DESCARTES: No, that’s the helmsman.
ALLYN: Navigate?
DESCARTES: No, that’s the navigator.
ALLYN: Run engineering?
DESCARTES: I don’t understand that stuff.
ALLYN: Analyze things? Work in sick bay?
DESCARTES: I’m not a scholar like your grandma, kiddo.
ALLYN: Swab the deck?
DESCARTES: That’s why we have deck hands.
ALLYN: The galley?
DESCARTES: And that’s why we have a cook.
ALLYN: Make decisions? Maintain discipline? Keep the log?
DESCARTES: Meh, I leave all that to the first mate.
ALLYN: Sign stuff?
DESCARTES: Nah, we’re completely paperless. Very modern.
ALLYN: So what do you do, Grampa?
DESCARTES: Oh, nothing in particular. Mostly, I rock the hat. But you have to admit: I do that very well! (notices Allyn’s face) What’s wrong?
ALLYN: I just don’t know what to write, Grampa.
DESCARTES: Why write anything? I’ll give you an 8x10 glossy headshot of me totally rocking the hat.
ALLYN (dubiously): Signed?
DESCARTES: Well, how else are you going to get an A-plus?
ALLYN: (hugging Descartes enthusiastically) Thanks, Grampa! You’re the best!