Cliche Bingo - Mutation/Physical Transformation

Jul 15, 2009 01:09

Title: The Invisible Job
Cliche: Mutation/Physical Transformation
Fandom: Leverage
Characters: Parker et al
Rating: All ages
Summary: The day Parker vanished was exciting.

*********************

The day Parker vanished was exciting. True, sometimes on a job she went ahead and vanished anyway, just to mess with the team's heads.

"Where the hell did Parker go?"

"How the hell does she do that?"

Yeah, that was pretty fun.

But this time she vanished for real. Like, I-can't-see-my-own-hands real. Probably should have listened to Hardison and not touched that wooden orb thing, even though its stand had been disconnected from the security mainframe and she'd fuzzed the lasers and really, there was no reason she couldn't just pick it up if she wanted.

"Parker!" Hardison's voice hissed in her ear. He was panicking, she could tell. He sounded like that a lot when they worked a job together.

"Hang on," she whispered, setting the orb back in place and grabbing the bracelet she'd actually come for. Up the rope and out, over the roof and down the tree to the ground next to the perimeter fence. Two minutes, no problems.

Except for the vanishing thing. But she wasn't sure that was a problem. Maybe now Sophie would stop making her talk to people. Talking to people was Sophie's job.

She decided to drop down beside Hardison silently, just to mess with his head some more.

"Hardison!" she whispered.

He yelped like a little girl. "Woman, do not…where the hell are you?" He spun around, touching his earpiece. "It sounded like sworn you were right here."

"We good?" muttered Eliot, striding up to the fence. "The guard rotation is full of holes, but best not take any chances. Where's Parker?"

"Right here," she said. Both men jumped.

"Hilarious, Parker," Eliot grumbled. He sounded like that a lot when they worked a job together. "Get out here where we can see you."

She laughed, ignoring the way they both winced. "That's funny," she said. There was some shouting in the background. Maybe she'd laughed a bit too loud. "Oops! Over the fence."

She took a running jump and shimmied the rest of the way up the rope ladder that hung from the top of the fence, not waiting to see if Hardison and Eliot followed.

"C'mon!" she said, and ten seconds later Hardison was over the fence, Eliot close behind.

"I ain't playin' with you, Parker," Hardison said, stalking past her like she wasn't even there. "I don't know where you are, but you do not do that in the middle of a job."

"I'm right here," she said, and he turned around. Eliot did too. "See?"

"Seriously?" Eliot shook his head and started for the van. "Where ever you are, come out now, or I am leaving you behind on this godforsaken road."

"Sheesh." Some people had no sense of humour. Striding past them, she reached the van first and slid open the side door.

Hardison froze and Eliot almost bumped into him. "What just happened?"

"Drive now, talk later," Eliot said, rounding the front of the van and sliding in behind the wheel.

Good idea. It still sounded like guards out there. She scrambled into the back of the van. "Hardison, get *in* here."

"Not without you," he said firmly.

"Oh, for crying out loud…" She took hold of his sweater and hauled him in. He really did yelp like a little girl. Or a puppy. Sliding the door shut, she said "Go!" and Eliot took off, driving them to safety.

"Parker!" Hardison looked around, still panicked, then peered out the back window. "We left Parker!"

"No you didn't!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm right here, see?" She paused. "Oh, right, you can't see."

Hardison was shaking his head, still looking back the way they'd come.

Okay, she could do this. Sophie had spent an afternoon coaching her. Sympathetic hand on shoulder. "It's okay," she said in that weird sing-song voice Sophie said she should use. Carefully, she put a hand on Hardison's shoulder. "See? I'm right here."

Hardison shrieked and backed up against the far side of the van.

Big baby.

******

Of course, it wasn't much better when they got back to Nate's. Hardison had calmed down-kind of-but Eliot wouldn't go anywhere near her. Which was weird, when she thought about it, because it wasn't like he could see where she was standing.

Sophie looked worried. Nate was frowning. "Freelancing, Parker?"

"No! I got it. See?" She waved the bracelet at them, but of course she couldn't see it, or her hand, and neither could they.

"What did you touch, Parker?"

She ignored him. If they couldn't see the bracelet, the con wouldn’t work. Nate should be thinking about that. What if she let go of it?

She laid the bracelet on the table and took her fingers away. Poof! There it was. "See?" she said.

That was enough to get Nate back on the job. "Okay. Parker, we'll deal with you later. Sophie, we're up." Sophie followed him out, still looking worried.

"Change her back," Eliot hissed at Hardison. "She's even creepier than usual."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" Hardison demanded. "This ain't that military light refraction gear, 'cause I've seen that, I've hacked that…"

"Use…" Eliot waved his hands. "One of those gadgets. The phone thingie-"

"Do I look like Tuvok to you?" Hardison put his hands on his hips. "Do I have pointy ears? Hell no. I got metal detectors and wifi hacks. I even got gummy frogs that fool a fingerprint scanner. But I ain't got nothing to change an invisible white girl back into a…a…a-"

Time to set them straight. "I don't want to change back," she said firmly. "This is fun."

Eliot backed even further away from her.

Hardison looked shocked at first, but then tilted his head to the side. "Oh."

She grinned. "Yeah."

"The greatest thief in the world, and she's actually invisible?" Hardison started to grin too. "You gonna be a legend, baby!"

She tossed her head. "Already am."

Hardison laughed. "High five, girl, go on!" He held up his palm and she slapped it.

Eliot shuddered. "You know you disappeared for a second there when she touched you?"

"What?" Hardison stopped laughing.

"Really?" She poked his shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Nothing," said Eliot.

She thought for a second. Maybe it only worked skin-to-skin. She covered his hand with hers.

Eliot swore.

Yup, that worked. She took her hand away and saw Hardison grinning. "That's awesome," he said.

Eliot pointed at them. "Weird. The both of you."

They spent the next forty-five minutes creeping out Eliot, until Nate and Sophie got back and made them stop.

******

Nate was still grumpy, though, and called a team meeting.

"I don't want to change back." She crossed her arms and glared at them all, not that any of them could see.

"Parker, you can't stay like this for ever," Sophie cajoled. "Think about it."

"Why not?" she asked. " I can walk right in to places. Shadow the security guards. Oooh! Learn their security protocols by looking over their shoulders!"

"Parker-"

Nate interrupted. "Parker, think about picking a lock, or rewiring a security system. You won't even be able to see your hands!"

She frowned. "I don't need to see my hands."

"For that kind of delicate-"

"They're *my* hands. I already know what they're doing."

Nate blinked. "Oh."

Sophie, Eliot, and Hardison were all saying "Oh," too. "Never thought of that," Sophie admitted. "But it makes sense…"

"Not helping," Nate growled.

"Sorry," said Sophie.

"I'm not changing back," said Parker. She was starting to sound like a broken record, but for smart people, they were being kind of dumb.

"Yes," Nate said firmly. "You are. Hardison?"

Hardison shrugged. "Don't look at me, man, I've never seen anything like it."

"You're going to do some research"

"The illicit kind?" Hardison started to grin, probably because he was about to hack something. "I'm on it." He turned to her. "We should run some tests, too-see if you're invisible to infrared, that sort of thing."

She hadn't thought about that, but there was no reason to admit it. It would be useful to find out, so she went with Hardison to run the tests.

In the end, though, it just wore off. No warning, right in the middle of an argument with Hardison about how exactly she was going to fool a biometrics scanner if it couldn't see whatever fake thumbprint or retina-imprinted contact lens she was holding when suddenly…poof. She was back.

Hardison yelped again, though not as loud as he had in the van. "You're back."

She frowned. "I never left."

That was disappointing. Still, Sophie came around and gave her a hug, and Nate nodded his approval, like she'd had any control over it anyway, and Hardison grinned, and Eliot grunted and said, "Don't come near me ever again."

So things went pretty much back to normal.

END

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