A definition

Jun 08, 2010 13:15

"I'm sorry": a phrase ( Read more... )

prettymeboy, narcissism

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Comments 10

catsidhe June 8 2010, 03:21:21 UTC
Then there's always the big one: “I'm sorry you feel that way.”

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Oh yes erudito June 8 2010, 03:27:26 UTC
That is such a gem of false empathy, isn't it?

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Re: Oh yes doushkasmum June 8 2010, 04:12:51 UTC
It can also be a kinder way of saying "suck it up, Sunshine" to people who are bewailing the unfairness of the universe, or to people who think you are responsible for their problem.

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Re: Oh yes erudito June 8 2010, 04:26:37 UTC
Context is everything!

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omnot June 8 2010, 04:35:36 UTC
And then there is the genuine "I am sorry for your loss" which is intensely heartfelt, not intended to alleviate the discomfort of the person saying it (even if it might, a bit).

Perhaps it translates as "I feel sad for you" in the most sincere and loving way that term can be used.

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Bones erudito June 8 2010, 04:49:33 UTC
Booth uses it a lot in Bones in the context of talking to someone dealing with the death of a loved one. It is a statement of regretful empathy in that context.

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Re: Bones omnot June 8 2010, 04:59:03 UTC
Yes. Your three definitions appear to pertain to apologies, but there are uses of the word "sorry" which do not imply wrongdoing on anyone's part.

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Re: Bones erudito June 8 2010, 05:49:10 UTC
True: it was only the context of apologies I was considering. But empathetic regret does extend further than that.

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findalexh June 8 2010, 09:26:53 UTC
I've always liked;

"I'm sorry"

"Yes, you are. (a sorry excuse for a human being)"

Frequently people don't realise I'm insulting them.

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quatrefoil June 8 2010, 13:38:42 UTC
And there's a subset of 3 which means something to the effect of 'I've now said the expected thing and you have to forgive me. Meanwhile I'll keep up the behaviour that upset you in the first place'. Also under the heading of narcissism.

And, as I think I've said before, there's a meaning which is 'I feel genuine sorrow that you are hurt, without necessarily believing that I caused the hurt'.

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