Command me fic #8 - SPN - Blood Ties

[erinrua]

REPOST! - This is for almightyspaz who prompted me with: Okay, I command you to write a Supernatural fic that involves... Elizabeth Bathory. This necessitated me getting in touch with my inner Sam and doing actual research, lol, but I hope this works! Thanks, luv!

Title: Blood Ties
Author: ErinRua
Rating: PG
Length: @ 3600 words
Spoilers: Season 3-ish

Comments

[zanne68]

And???!!?!?! You can't just stop in the middle like that! ;) I'm especially intrigued by Sam's sudden attacks of fury coming and going. I want to know more about that, and if it's tied into what they're investigating at all. "Dean Quixote" is a fantastic phrase; it's a perfect description of Dean's attitude toward his job.

California might have whiskey, women, and gold, but Iowa has soybeans and corn

As an Iowan, I am tickled that you made it sound like soybeans and corn is better than whiskey, women, and gold. Hee! Boy, did you get the Methodist church women down pat. I have been to that rummage sale in the church basement, with such pointless items as calendar prints of faded panda bears. I love that Dean had to be dragged to the rummage sale, but once there, he found brownies and shirts and got all mother hen with Sam, holding the shirt up for size.

More please? :D

[erinrua]

... Oh, dear. :-s

As lovely and exhuberant as your comments are, they tell me I missed my mark. The intent here was to have this be "the demon that got away," and for Dean to close the case worrying if this was the sort of thing he had to fear coming back as, from Hell. I see I wasn't clear about the demon's escape, at least. Poo

[ruby_jelly]

I've already left my initial response in a comment, then was cruising other comments. Initially I thought: "Don't end!" followed by "Ouch!" So, if I might say, I think you did hit your mark, (at least for me) with Dean concerned about his future evolution into a demon. (see my comment below

[erinrua]

LOL, not a style of writing I'll likely repeat, but once I got started with this one, I just ... rolled with it. *g*

Meanwhile - ah-HA! Specific remarks! *glomphs you* I really should have sent this one to beta, before posting. *is chagrinned* So I'm gonna see if I can sneak up and to a bit more editing before anybody else finds this, lol. Thank you so much for pointing out the "bzuh?" bits.

Heh, and yes, the clothing bothered me, too, and if this were a lighter piece, I might have had Dean grumping about losing them *and* their four dollars, too. ;-) Thank you for your waffle! I love them with butter and syrup, and now I can go tinker on fic a bit more. *hugs you just for being awesome* :-)

P.S.
Any further remarks you may have will be most welcome! :-)

[ruby_jelly]

This rolled along at a great pace, the exposition didn't slow it down. Interesting case, but I really loved your ending! Turn the purpose of the whole piece on it's ear in just a sentence. Well done.

"his stomach is stronger than Dean's sick sense of humor". Great indication of both character's and their interaction. Thank you.

[erinrua]

Thank you, Ruby! This thing accidentally ended up being something of an experiment in style and story, so I'm glad it came together for you. The ending just sort of wrote itself! :-) Thanks for reading and for the lovely feedback.

[girlfan1979]

This is really good - I love Sam's internal voice here, and Dean's final observation is perfect for where they were, mentally, emotionally, at that point in the series.

Excellent work.

[erinrua]

Thank you, luv! :-) I did a little bit of polishing up on this fic today, too, should you ever get the urge to revisit it. Mainly in the latter parts, where I wanted to be sure I kept hold of Sam's POV. :-) Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm glad you came over to read. *g*

[iamstealthyone]

Nicely done. I like how it builds from not only Sam’s angst over Dean’s impending death and descent into hell to Dean’s angst over the same situation. Dean never wants to become the thing they hunt.

*hugs both boys*

Favorite lines:

Sometimes Sam could just kill Dean. Throttle him until something besides bullcrap squeezed out. But as quick as the thought surfaces, it sinks, fading down, down into darkness, leaving Sam soft and empty inside.

Oh, Sam.

Sparky had not been fed for several days - probably because his mistress was preoccupied with dissecting three homeless girls in the cellar.

Eew! I like how you use such a matter-of-fact tone here. It nicely underlies the horror of the situation.

Deep-toned, soothing, the big brother voice. Sam doesn't bother looking up. If he did, he would just want something bigger to break or smash.

*hugs poor Sam*

Sam sprawls all over the passenger seat and steams in his frustration like an oyster in hot butter.

Good analogy.

The door sucks open to the sharp scent of rain on dry pavement

[erinrua]

I want to take this feedback home with me, pet it, feed it, and name it Muffy. *G* Thank you SO much for sharing so many of your favorite bits! Some of them were my favs, too, so it makes my muses purr to know you liked them, too. :-)

Also, I went back today to try and edit it more better, as I was not satisfied with the last couple "acts" of the story. I wanted to be sure I kept good hold of Sam, where he's coming from, so ... yeah. Someone take my fingers off the keyboard, lol! But I think it's even better, now. :-) Thank you, thank you for taking the time to make such deliciously detailed remarks. *Hugs you*

[iamstealthyone]

I want to take this feedback home with me, pet it, feed it, and name it Muffy.

*g* You're welcome for the feedback, and thanks for the story.

Someone take my fingers off the keyboard, lol!

Yeah, sometimes it's hard to stop tinkering with stuff. I've had that happen many a time. :)

[roguebitch]

I really liked this -- I don't have any detailed feedback, but I thought the writing style really evoked the whole "nation of two" that Dean and Sam have going. And of course, I love the idea of Dean Quixote!

[erinrua]

Nation of two - Oh, I love that phrase! I'm going to see if my brain can retain that. :-) Detailed or not, your feedback made me smile, so thank you very much for reading! *smish!* :-)

Heh, and of course Dean Quixote. *g*