My weekend restlessness has begun at noon today. I have my gym date tomorrow, and I'm gonna try to hang out with Anthony tonight but I still wish I had more structure to help me through Saturday and Sunday. I am in the midst of a love/hate battle with my phone. It's starting to feel like a tether. A glitchy, rarely the thing I want- ball and chain ( Read more... )

Oh the literal shit I dealt with today...Let me recognize the patience,determination, and compassion I possess for a moment and strive to gain more as I move forward.

Today I have dealt with shit (literally) with a level of grace and professionalism that is unmatched in most. I got home and unwound. I took a bubble bath. I laugh, I cried. I got an unexpected phone call...I stumbled my way through making chili. It's simmering now as I sit on my couch, drink a 8pumpkin beer, smoke a butt, type this out, and watch ( Read more... )

All hope is not lost
a good friend reached out to me
feels nice to be liked

Patience- I need more
Irritation- I need less
Peaceful sleep please come to me

Day wasn't too bad
Wish I could be less doubting
tomorrow...maybe

This morning I awoke after another tear evoking dream. I guess it's good to get the tears over with at the beginning of my day. I don't cry because I am defeated. I cry to keep on going.

Life will keep going on, until one day it won't. I have about sixty more years left in me I better brace myself ( Read more... )

I am NOT dying or infertile AND I get to take MA out three times AND I am boozing it up this weekend. Not too bad.

The past few days have felt hard. I am anxiously awaiting my test results. I feel like I have no one to confide in. I feel lonely and I feel like the sadness will not be going away any time soon. Mostly I feel that this is all my fault. I made the life choices that caused the cell abnormalities. I decided to delete my Facebook. I am bad company ( Read more... )