Reposting fic
Title: Our Father part 2
Pairing: Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes, Cody/Randy
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Follows right after Our Father. Ted has to make a choice between the two men in his life. And can Cody manage to even stay away from Randy?
Disclaimer: All rights belong to the WWE
Warnings: Strong religious content! And perhaps a lot of sacriligious goings on...
Word Count: 8718
Feedback: Would be lovely
A/N: I was looking ALL OVER for this fic in my LJ to re-read before starting part 3 and couldn't find it. WEIRD. Cuz I never delete things. So, yeah, this is just a re-post of the fic. Skip if you've read before.
Also, here's the first part, Our Father
“Where did you want me to sleep?” Cody asked in a quiet tone once he and Ted arrived back at Ted’s place.
“You can stay on the couch,” Ted answered him.
“Will things be awkward between us now?” Cody took a seat on the couch and looked up at Ted.
Ted sat down, as well, giving Cody a small smile. “I hope not. This is totally new to me, though. I don’t know… I’m not sure how to deal with it.”
“You just have to roll with it. You wanted it, Teddy, remember that. We both did.”
There was no way he could deny that. He wanted his best friend, had wanted him for as long as he could remember… That was one of the reasons he was driven to become a priest. He needed to quell his desires, and he always had such strong desires for his younger friend. His younger male friend, at that. So what better way than to deny the body of all its wants than to become a priest?
Well, ok, that wasn’t the only reason. He truly had felt as though he was called to do this, like he was hand picked to spread God’s word. Ever since he was young, he enjoyed going to church, enjoyed listening to the Father give his service. This was a job that only a select few would want to have, what with the strict rules and guidelines, which would ultimately be judged by none other than the Big Man himself, God.
After a pause to gather his thoughts, Ted finally replied, “I may have wanted it, but I shouldn’t have let you… do anything. I know better. This is more than just my job that we’re talking about. I put my entire being on the line.”
“And did God strike you down for getting your dick sucked by a dude?”
Ted ran his hands through his hair in pure frustration. “Dammit, Cody, this isn’t the time to joke!”
“Woah there, bud. It’s ok, man, I’ve yet to get sucked down into the eternal circle of hellfire and brimstone for givin’ it to a guy.”
“Would you, for once in your life, not talk about your dick and your affinity for men? Please?”
“Sorry,” Cody acquiesced.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m just not myself right now.” Ted looked at his friend and gave him a small smile. “I’m going to pray.” Ted placed a hand on Cody’s lap as he pushed himself up and off the couch.
“Wait, Teddy,” Cody said, grabbing onto Ted’s wrist. “What about… Was this only a one time thing?” He stood up, making sure to stand close, getting in Ted’s personal space.
“I…”
“Will you let me kiss you again?” he whispered.
Silence. Ted knew he should back the fuck up, get himself out of this now before he got himself in too deep, to the point where he could no longer crawl out. Instead he stood there, feeling Cody’s breath on his face and reading the question in his eyes. Watching as those ice blue eyes fell shut as the face came closer and pressed lips to lips.
Why was it that it felt so right, but was so fucking wrong? Their bodies were the perfect fit for one another, just like their personalities. What a fucker that God fella was. He put Cody and Teddy on the earth together, had them grow up together as best friends, best friends who could easily be the most perfect couple on all of His green earth, then threw a wrench into it all when He showed Teddy that his true path was with Him. It just wasn’t fucking fair! His entire body wanted, no needed to be with Cody, but his mind was screaming at him to STOP! Stop it all now! His heart was supposed to belong with God. His body was supposed to belong with God. His soul was supposed to belong with God. God and Cody were not supposed to be synonymous with one another. Cody was not supposed to be greater than God. So why was he? SHIT!
Ted pulled back out of the kiss, dropping his hands to the side, the hands that had previously been inside Cody’s jean pockets. “Please, Cody, give me some space. Just… Let me pray.”
“For your soul?” Cody asked with a bite in his voice.
“For an answer,” Ted replied. He turned away and walked into his room, closing the door behind him.
Cody sighed and sat down on the couch, flipping on the TV where he absently stared at it, not exactly watching reruns of Planet Earth. Fuck.
Teddy held his rosary in his hand, going through bead after bead of “Hail Mary full of grace…” When he completed his string of Hail Mary’s, he still had no answer, and his knees were killing him. He nearly turned to the Lord’s Prayer, but that had become Cody’s prayer. Ok, so that was out. He turned his head to the side, spotting his trusty Bible. Maybe a passage from his Book would help him find an answer. As long as he avoided Leviticus, right?
He wound up doing another string of Hail Mary’s instead.
Cody wound up falling asleep in front of the TV after sitting there mindlessly for a couple hours. Before going to bed himself, Ted went out to the other room to get a glass of water, his mental excuse for checking on Cody. When he saw that Cody had fallen asleep, he switched off the TV and the light before heading back into his own room.
The next morning, Ted woke up, still with a guilty conscience. It’s not like he did anything terrible… Except he truly did hold lust in his heart. Although, at this point, after carrying the feeling around for so long, even though it had been buried within him for so long, could it really be called lust? Well, it’s not like loving a man was any less of a sin…
He headed out to the main room to pour himself some cereal. He noticed Cody was still sleeping. Looking down at the younger man, he couldn’t help but feel that twinge of guilt as he felt arousal stirring. Cody looked so peaceful, so innocent, so sweet. How could Ted have resisted him for this long?
“I know you’re staring,” Cody muttered sleepily.
“Sorry…” Ted muttered, turning away to start rummaging for a bowl.
“It’s ok. I know you want me.”
Ted really had no idea what to say. Yeah, he really did want him.
“Please don’t tell me you’re still feeling bad about what we did yesterday.” Cody sat up and rubbed his eyes before standing up to join Ted by the counter.
“Cereal?”
“Fuck, you do!”
“I… It’s new to me, Cody. It’s all new. Incase you forgot, this isn’t supposed to be something I know at all. I’m supposed to be celibate.”
“I know, I know. It just sucks, though… I’ve wanted you for so long, and finally got a taste…”
“I know the feeling…”
“Will there still be anything between us? I told you last night that I would stop sleeping around as long as I knew that I had you. I need to know, Teddy, do I still have you?”
“You always have me.”
Cody grabbed Teddy’s shoulders and spun him so they were facing one another. “Kiss me. Before you pour yourself that bowl of cereal, all I want you to do is kiss me.”
“Don’t do this to me.”
“So, it’s ok when someone else initiates it, but not you?”
“I never said that… Cody, I don’t fucking know what I’m going through right now.”
“Kiss me now, think about it later.” Just one little kiss was all Cody was asking for. He wanted anything he could get at this point. Shit, he’d take a kiss on the cheek.
Ted closed his eyes and leaned forward, placing a kiss right on Cody’s lips. His nerves were so shot, he was shaking. “Can I have my cereal now?”
“Yeah,” Cody answered with a smile.
It was only about an hour later when Cody told Ted he had to get to the airport soon. Couldn’t miss Raw that night, after all. Cody gave Ted another kiss before he left Ted’s apartment when the cab he called arrived. “Don’t forget to watch me tonight.”
“I told you already, I watch for Brett.”
“Dude, I know Brett is your excuse to watch my sexy ass parading around in spandex with other half naked men.”
“Like Randy…” Ted muttered.
Cody’s head shot up. Had he heard that right? “What did you just say?”
“I said like Randy. Half naked men like Randy that you used to fuck.” This time Cody’s eyes began to wander, as though Ted said something he disagreed with. “Wait, do you and Randy still…?”
“Yeah, ok, we do. We’ve been fucking for years. We’re each other’s go to guys when it’s a lousy night at the bar.”
“Guess I should have known… Cody, are you done with him, too? Because I can’t give you everything that you need… And I shouldn’t even be giving you this much. I want you to be happy.”
“I told you I was done with that.” He could do it, give up the sex with random strangers… and Randy… knowing that he had some part of Teddy. He hoped. “I’ll see you later, Teddy,” Cody told him.
“Bye.”
Cody kissed Ted a final time before leaving for the airport.
It wasn’t long after Cody left before Ted found himself in his car. Where he was going, he didn’t know, but he had to find a church where he wouldn’t be recognized. He couldn’t risk confessing his sins to someone in his own church. So what if everything was supposed to stay confidential, there’s no way he could live with himself if he told another priest that he would be living with that he had some form of sexual relations with his best friend.
He drove for at least two hours before he saw a St. Thomas church in a small town. He pulled into the dirt parking lot in front and walked through the front doors. It was policy to wear the white collar, the dog collar as Cody so fondly referred to it as, but this time he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t risk someone seeing him, knowing a priest was confessing to these things.
No one would be in the confessional at this time, but he figured a priest would come out at some point. For the time being, he sat down in a pew before dropping the bar for them to kneel on. He had no idea just how long he was kneeling and praying, but eventually a Father walked in.
Ted stood as soon as he saw him. “I need to make a confession.”
“Of course.” The Father looked at him, observing. “You look familiar.”
“Umm, I guess I just have one of those faces.”
The other priest just shrugged and took them to the confessional. Ted’s mind flashed to the last time he was in a confessional booth, and damn, it had been nice.
Once they were both settled, Ted began, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
“And when was your last confession?”
“Yesterday,” Ted answered.
Undoubtedly, the priest was taken aback. “Yesterday? Well, you move fast.” He joked. “Tell me, what are you confessing?”
“I had lust in my heart, and I acted on it. With my best friend. Cody.”
It wasn’t often he had confessions of lust come through his door. Someone was generally quite familiar with the words of God when they come in confessing to lust. “You weren’t forced into it?”
“No, Father. He came to visit me and I had no idea he was coming. He talks non-stop about his antics, and he winds up telling me in confession…” Ted stopped instantly when he let that slip. Shit. This was not good.
“In confession?”
“I won’t tell you that part, as I’m sure you can figure out what he told me, and, well… confessions are meant to be kept confidential.”
“You could be stripped of your priesthood.”
“That’s why I came to confess.”
“Did you break your vow of celibacy?”
“No. He doesn’t know that I’m doing this, that I’m confessing. It would break his heart to know that I’m here. He doesn’t believe that what he’s doing is a sin, or that what we did together was a sin.”
“I noticed you only said the lust you felt was the sin. Do you not believe that homosexuality is a sin, as well?”
“He’s been my best friend since I was a kid, and told me that he was gay when he was 16. There’s no way that I could think homosexuality was a sin, not when I see him and know that he’s no worse off a person simply because he likes men.”
“Do you feel guilty?”
“I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, because, while I’ve never told anyone this before, I’ve wanted him for so long. I told him when I was 18 that I wanted to join the clergy, and if I were to be honest, my desire for him was one of the reasons I joined. I had to learn how to control myself. As for feeling guilty about what we did yesterday… I think I feel worse about where it happened more so than what we did.”
Curiosity had gotten the better of the other priest. Really, it was no secret that they enjoyed listening to other’s deepest and darkest secrets. They wanted to milk it for everything it was worth. “And where did this… incident… happen, exactly?”
“Umm, I’m not sure if that’s supposed to stay confidential, as well.”
“No.”
“Yeah…”
“Do you feel better now that you’ve told all this to me?”
“I think I feel worse,” Ted admitted.
“Did you want me to absolve you still?”
“I don’t think so.”
“One of these days, you’ll have to choose between God and your Cody fella.”
“I can’t leave the clergy. I was meant to do this. I know I was; this is my calling.”
“You can’t continue harbouring lustful feelings for another man. The longer you keep this going, the harder it will be for you to focus on your life as a Father.”
“It was nice talking to you,” Ted said, cutting the other man off before he could go on any longer about Ted having to make a choice between the two men he loved most in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night during the show, Randy cut a promo absolutely ripping into Cody. They were really starting to set up their feud, the one that would end with Cody winning the title from Randy. “What makes you so much as think you’re even in my league? Because we were in a little group together? Well, The Legacy is a thing of the past, and it was a privilege you never lived up to. Now you can’t even defeat the second rate talent they have running around here chasing after your Intercontinental title,” he said in reference to Cody’s match the previous week where he lost to the current top contender for his own belt, “and you expect to beat me tonight in hopes of becoming number one contender?” Randy hoisted his title up higher on his shoulder as it slipped down slightly from the slick t-shirt. “You best take a good look at this belt now, because this is the closest you will ever get to it.”
They didn’t see each other at all before the match went down, but Cody had seen the look of intensity in Randy’s eyes. He knew that look. That was the look that said “I fucking want you right now.”
When they finally did meet in the ring, Cody was amazed the entire place didn’t erupt in a blaze from their evident sexual tension. Cody watched as Randy slowly walked down the ramp, his slick chest gleaming under the lights, his thighs… well, what was there to even say about Randy’s thighs apart from that they’re pure perfection? Those tattooed arms looked amazing on him, and Cody didn’t even like tattoos. Fuck, he had to get Randy and his flawless body out of his mind. He was with Teddy now.
But the longer their match went on, the more overtly sexual the two became. The first near fall consisted of Randy lying his back on Cody’s chest, while his left arm hooked a leg and his right arm slipped under Cody’s neck, cupping it, and oh so lightly stroking it. “What the fuck are you doing?” Cody muttered once they were standing up again.
“Having fun.”
Near fall after near fall went by, a touch here, a stroke there. One time Cody felt his hand graze over Randy’s cock, which instantly reacted to his touch, as he went for the pin. Simple holds oozed with sex, mere skin on skin contact was enough to get those two going.
Finally came the RKO. Or, rather, the blocked attempt at an RKO. Cody managed to set up the Cross Rhodes and drop Randy, but his cover left nothing to the imagination as he lay flush over Randy’s body, one of Randy’s legs thrown awkwardly to the side, and Cody made sure to grind himself against the body beneath him. The pinning position was nothing new for Cody, he had used it on many opponents before, but he didn’t have those sexual undertones with anyone. And no one else ever raised their hips up to get that extra bit of contact.
As soon as the ref’s hand hit the mat that third time, Cody stood from the pin to get his hand raised in victory. He stared down at Randy, whose eyes were boring straight through him. Fuck.
Ted was in his apartment, sitting on his couch watching wrestling. His brother won his match, and he was absolutely thrilled for him. The show went on, matches and backstage segments passed. Randy came up on the screen, talking smack about Cody, and all he could think about was Cody telling him that those two had fucked before, and how Randy’s words were laced with sex. It wasn’t long after that that they were getting announced for the match, and he smiled without even realizing it as soon as he saw Cody the first time.
The match got underway, and Ted didn’t know if it was him, now that he had this knowledge of Cody and Randy’s past together, but it seemed as though every move they were making was some bizarre sex show. No, it couldn’t just be him. It couldn’t be.
Ted captured his head in his hands as he continued to watch. Cody said that he wouldn’t be doing anything with Randy anymore. It was a show, it was all for show. That’s it, that’s all it was. Because Cody told him that he meant the world to him, Randy had just been convenient and easy… But did he see that right? Did Cody just graze Randy’s dick intentionally?
At the pin, Ted’s mouth dropped. Jaw meet floor, floor meet jaw. Cody was… He… They practically put on a porno out there for the entire goddamn world to see. Teddy took a deep breath and said aloud, “It’s just a show.”
Backstage, a few minutes later, after another match, a camera was following Cody through the halls where he ran into Randy entering his locker room. “Hey, Champ,” Cody began. “That was a great match we had out there, wasn’t it?”
Randy steeled his jaw, clenching his teeth as Cody spoke and he said nothing in reply.
“Now what’s that you were saying earlier? If I remember correctly it was something about me not being in your league. Isn’t that what it was?”
The jaw muscle continued to twitch as Randy’s eyes stared right at Cody.
“Let me try and figure that one out. Ok, so, I’m not in your league, never have been, according to you, and yet I beat you tonight to become number one contender for that nice lookin’ belt of yours.” Cody reached his hand out and ran his fingers down the metal surface, staring right at Randy, wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue out of pure instinct. His eyes flickered briefly to the belt before going right back to Randy. “Something doesn’t add up.”
Randy finally breaks the silence, “Tonight was nothing but a fluke. You and I both know that when the match counts for something, you won’t man up. Why don’t you try back in a couple years?”
Cody paused. He knew what he was supposed to say, but all he could think of was when Randy said that to him all those years ago before they fucked for the first time.
Randy was having the same thought. He remembered telling Cody to come back to him when he was older… So he figured this was just what Cody was thinking. “You come to your senses and agree with me?” he covered.
“No, I don’t think so. I look forward to kicking your ass again in a couple weeks,” he finished with a smirk.
Looking at that smirk, god, Randy wanted to smack it off his face… And then kiss it better. But that would have to wait for those fucking cameras to turn the fuck off.
Once the cameras were turned off and the camera men had left, Cody and Randy stood alone in the hallway. Randy was already in Cody’s personal space, but he leaned in even closer as he said, ever so bluntly, “Let’s fuck.”
Shit. Cody really had brought it on himself, though. All his actions out in the ring and, well, just now screamed sex. “I dunno… I’m not really up to it right now…”
“Bullshit. From the look of things, you’re up for it.” Randy moved in closer, dropping a hand to Cody’s dick.
Cody took a step back leaving a very confused and angry looking Randy. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore,” he threw out there.
Randy glared and opened the door to his dressing room, pulling Cody in behind him and slamming the door shut. “Why the fuck not? Did Saint Theodore have some choice words for you regarding your sexual orientation?” he snipped back.
“No.” Actually, Teddy was behind him 100% when it came to his sexual orientation. And maybe one of these days Teddy would be behind him literally. “But you’re married. And Sam’s pregnant with your second.”
Quirking an eyebrow, Randy responded, “In case you forgot, I was married last week. Sam was also pregnant last month. And the month before that. And a couple of years ago she was pregnant for the first time, yet that never stopped you. So, what’s stopping you now?”
“I…”
Randy captured Cody’s mouth in a kiss, instantly snaking his tongue out into Cody’s mouth. Cody responded to the kiss, but only briefly. He broke it off and pushed on Randy’s shoulders before taking a step back himself.
“What the fuck?! Did you forget that for years you begged me for this? Since you were fourteen years old, Cody, we’ve been doing this, and never once did you object to it; not when I had girlfriends and started dating Sam, when you had your boyfriends in high school, or whatever the fuck it was… We fucked the day before my wedding, we fucked when I told you Sam was pregnant… Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t fuck now, because I want you. I want to feel you inside me.”
“Well, maybe it’s time that I got past that… Like, you said, it’s been years. Maybe it’s time we both moved on. Don’t you ever feel bad for your family with you fucking around like this?”
“Since when did you become so concerned for my family? What’s with you, Cody?”
Could he tell Randy what was actually going on? How could he possibly say “Oh, well, the real reason I don’t want to sleep with you today is because I’m with Teddy. I mean, I ground against him in a confessional booth and sucked him off, but that’s it. We can’t do anything else, and I’ll probably never get laid ever again, but I finally got Teddy, just a little bit of him, and I love him more than you’ll ever know,” to someone like Randy, who had seemingly never felt an ounce of love for someone other than himself in his life.
So instead he put on his smirk and kissed Randy. “Just pushing your buttons… I like getting you riled up.”
Randy’s hands were all over Cody, up his back, down his trunks, over his neck; anywhere and everywhere was fair game. Cody was the same way. He was touching Randy all over his torso, up his neck, finally settling on the back of his head. Their tongues clashed in a battle of dominance, and neither one would back down, only adding to the sheer sexual tension.
“Hotel. Right fucking now,” Randy growled.
His senses didn’t return to him during the frenzied drive back to the hotel. Goddamn, there was nothing like Randy’s touch. They both knew each other so well; they knew how to drive each other up the fucking wall. Some parts of Cody’s lust-rattled brain were screaming at him to stop. But those were very small parts of his brain, obviously, because he wasn’t stopping. As Randy drove, Cody rushed to release Randy from his confines.
Randy reached down and slid the chair back another notch, giving Cody some extra room. Cody opened his mouth wide, taking Randy’s dick into his mouth, straight to the back of his throat, all in one go. He suctioned his mouth in around Randy, learning every line and vein over again. After a few small draws up, Cody picked up the pace, bobbing his head up and down as Randy’s hips jerk up and his foot presses down on the gas.
Cody’s head continued its up and down path while Randy fought to keep his eyes on the road. One of Cody’s hands was resting on Randy’s leg while the other had a strong hold on his hip. Randy had his left hand on the steering wheel and his right was firmly planted on Cody’s head; he eased up when Cody raised his head, but he all but forced Cody’s head back down onto him.
He was on the edge for the last leg of the car trip, which hadn’t lasted as long as it normally would have considering the speeds at which they were traveling. Still, Cody knew exactly the right time to slow down or back off completely to keep Randy going for as long as he wanted. And Cody apparently wanted it to continue in the hotel room.
Randy hadn’t even shut off the car’s engine before Cody was off of him and saying, “Out of the fucking car now.”
They didn’t even bother with their bags; that only ate up their precious time.
‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ Cody’s brain screamed at him. ‘What the fuck is taking you so long?!’ the rest of his lust crazed body was shouting.
The two of them rushed back to their room. Yeah, they still roomed together even though they were both big names, there was just something nice about staying with someone, especially when you enjoyed their company. And the sex was good. And with those two, the sex was always good, beyond good, amazing, mind blowing… Intense.
It was no different that night. They locked lips once again in the elevator and once behind the closed door of their room, instantly began stripping off their clothing. Neither one cared where it landed, because all they wanted in that moment was the other.
“Still wanna feel me inside you?” Cody asked as he stepped out of the sweats he threw on before running into Randy backstage.
“Yesssss,” Randy hissed, crawling up the bed until his head hit the pillows.
Cody met him up there, claiming Randy’s mouth with his own. He reached to the side table and opened the drawer, pulling out the lube he knew Randy would put there.
Sitting back on the balls of his feet, Cody opened it and squirted some into his hand.
“Goddamn, hurry up. I need you now,” Randy pleaded. He had been wanting this since their match together. The pin fall was what solidified it for him, with Cody practically telling him that he wanted to fuck him.
Cody slid a single finger inside of Randy, but it’s not long before Randy’s saying, “Fuck that, want you.”
Giving a nod, Cody rolled over a second time and grabbed a condom from the same drawer. He knew Randy’s body, and knew that he can take it like that, so unprepared. And the tighter ring of muscle feels so good around Cody’s dick. He rolled on the condom before picking up Randy’s legs and hoisting them over his ever broadening shoulders.
Randy already had his eyes screwed shut, awaiting the painful entrance. He didn’t scream or cry as Cody pushed forward, he simply bit on his hand. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t care, though, knowing that the pleasure that was soon to come would be payment enough for the coppery taste of his own blood.
As the minutes went by, the pain abated and was replaced by sheer pleasure. The feel of Cody’s dick inside him was always enough to get him going, since he didn’t let it happen too often. But, fuck if Cody didn’t feel amazing. They never lost a beat, those two.
Randy was shouting obscenities left and right, telling Cody to fuck him harder, that he felt so fucking good; anything that came to his mind he said.
Cody didn’t say a whole lot. Especially after he nearly slipped. “Oh, fuuuuck, T,” he began, nearly moaning out Ted’s name in the heat of the moment. He instantly covered by saying, “too good, Randy, fuck, you feel too good around me. No one feels like you do.”
After the sex, the pair took showers and flipped on the TV as they sat in bed together. “So, how was your visit with Saint Teddy?”
“Do you have to call him that?”
Randy smirked and continued, “What, are you saying he’s not a saint?”
“Not at all…” Cody answered. He sighed, knowing at that moment that it was a bad idea to tell Teddy about his feelings. Even though Ted told him that he knew, it didn’t matter. Ted should be a saint. He shouldn’t be… shouldn’t be corrupting him like he was. “Shit!”
Randy raised his eyebrow at Cody’s sudden expletive. “What’s up?”
Cody’s head dropped back against the wooden headboard and he let out a long, frustrated sigh. “I’m fucked, Randy…” He rolled his head in Randy’s direction, looking him right in the eye. “I fucked up.”
“How?”
“Everything. I told Teddy everything. Told him that I’ve had a crush on him since forever. He said that he knew.”
Randy was really interested now. He didn’t think Cody would ever spill the beans to Ted. “He knew?”
“Yeah…”
“And then what?”
Cody rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, not sure how much he should tell Randy. Fuck it, he always told Randy everything. “I sucked him off in the confessional.”
Randy laughed. God, what kind of bullshit did Cody try to feed him? Teddy wouldn’t let Cody suck him off anywhere, much less in a church confessional. “Come on, man, what really happened?”
“What makes you think I wasn’t telling you what really happened?”
“There’s no fucking way Saint Theodore would let you blow him, especially not in his precious church. Come on, tell me what happened once you told Teddy that you’ve wanted to fuck him since you were a teenager.”
“That WAS what happened!” Cody shouted at him. “He told me that he knew, and felt the same fucking way. Then I told him to let me into his side of the confessional, and when he did, I kissed him. I kissed him and then I blew him and… Oh, it felt so good. But I fucked up… I told him that… I said I wouldn’t sleep around, I told him this morning that I wouldn’t sleep with you.”
“Why did you, then? What ever happened to just say no?”
“I DID say no!”
“Well, how come when I asked you what was with you, you didn’t just tell me what happened?! How come you waited until after we had sex to say anything about it?”
“Fuck, I don’t know… This morning when I left from Teddy’s he asked if I was still messing around with you, and I told him the truth. He asked if I was done with you because he couldn’t give me everything that I needed, and I told him that he was all I needed. And now here we are. Look at me! I can’t even go a day without going back on my word to him!”
“He’s got a point, though, doesn’t he? He can’t give you everything you need,” Randy said, scooting closer and resting a hand on Cody’s bare leg.
“I shouldn’t need to have my dick in someone’s ass to be happy with them.”
“You’ve been fucking around with guys since you were fourteen, I don’t think it’d be that easy to change your oh so sinful ways overnight. Besides, he doesn’t have to know about this.”
“He doesn’t? Really, Randy, you think I’m not gonna tell him about this? Do you know how much it took for him to tell me his true feelings?”
“What is there for you to say to him, Cody? Sorry, bud, but I fucked Randy last night after our match. Oh, and I’m sorry if you saw that match, too, because we were practically fucking during that.”
“It’s a start. Do I really have such little control over myself? Just look at Ted… If I hadn’t said anything to him, he would have continued to live his celibate life, totally content with everything he had going.”
“You shouldn’t put everything into stock with Teddy.”
“But I want to. I want Teddy.”
“You can’t just be content in having Teddy as your best friend? You need more from him, too? What, is it true love, the man you’ve always been waiting for?”
“Shit, Randy, you know I’ve always wanted him! I don’t know if it’s love or what the fuck it actually is, but I can’t tell you how good it feels knowing that he thinks the same way about me.”
“Right, because he’s been having sexual fantasies about you since you were fourteen. I’m sure that’s just what it is…”
“Just because he never would have acted on them doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. God, I’m such a fuck up. I just ruined Ted’s life.”
“And that’s why you don’t tell him,” Randy reasoned.
“But it’s not just the sex with you, it’s everything. It’s my telling him that I wanted him that really fucked him over. What was I thinking?! I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. How did I ever think that saying something to him would be beneficial for either one of us? I royally fucked him over, and I just gave up sex… Maybe I should tell him to forget we ever did anything.”
“Here’s an idea: Teddy leaves the ministry.”
“He can’t, Randy. He already told me that he was chosen as a priest.”
“You know that’s bullshit. Don’t tell me otherwise. Bull fuckin’ shit. He expects you to give up your life for him, yet he won’t give up God for you, and he supposedly cares about you? What the fuck kind of relationship can you two even have?!”
“I don’t know, Randy, but we can at least try.”
“Yeah, well, you’re doing a damn fine job of trying, aren’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up, man, I know I fucked everything up, there’s no need to rub it in my face again and again.”
“I also like how you’re really trying to get away from me and my corrupting ways,” Randy said as he found himself leaning against Cody’s shoulder.
“Shit…” Cody sighed. He liked the feel of Randy leaning against him. Randy was the only person he ever sat with after and talked to. Randy was the only person he would snuggle up to or let snuggle up to him. Randy was the only person he would actually fall asleep with and wake up next to in the morning. After that first time when Cody instantly kicked Randy out of his bed, he had been waiting for a time when they could actually stay together, and once Cody was in OVW, moving his way up to the WWE, he knew he’d finally have that chance.
And now, Cody realized, he wouldn’t have that with anyone. He couldn’t just… Just give up Randy like that simply because somewhere Ted was waiting for him, because even when he did get back to Ted, they couldn’t do this. Sure, they could kiss and sleep in the same bed (if Ted would even agree to that), but that was it. He couldn’t even be guaranteed that he’d have someone to wake up with. Cody and Randy always came back to each other.
Randy sat up and wrapped an arm around Cody, pulling him in close. “You gotta figure this one out for yourself, man. I know you’ve always had a thing for Saint Teddy, but I don’t see how this is good for either of you. Don’t give me that look; I know you’re thinking the same thing I am. But you’ll go crazy if you have to go for God knows how long without sex, and just think of the kind of trouble Ted could get into if you two get found out. Do you want to be the one responsible for getting him kicked out of the church?”
“No. God no, I don’t want him to get into shit because of me. Fuck me… Don’t even go there,” Cody said before Randy could make any kind of comment.
“So, what are you gonna do about it?”
“I guess I have to talk to him again…”
“Because talking to him worked out so well the first time.”
“Just shut up. It’s not like you’re any better.”
“How’s that?”
“Umm, well, there’s the fact that you’re married,” Cody pointed out. “I don’t understand why you got married in the first place if you were just gonna screw around behind her back?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought she might help me change my ways.”
“Sam’s a nice woman, you know that. You shouldn’t do this to her.”
“You’re not exactly an innocent party in all of this.”
“I get that. Trust me, I get that. But maybe it’s time we both just grew the fuck up.”
Not another word was spoken that night between the two men. Shit, Randy was 30 years old with one kid and another on the way, and he was still fucking around with men and women alike while his wife sat at home, loving him and caring for their children. And Cody, well, he knew he’d never get married, but how long could he keep it up? How long could he keep up this lifestyle? How much longer would it be before it wasn’t even about companionship, but solely about sex? Had he already passed that point?
The next morning, they didn’t bring up their discussion from last night. They just knew they had a lot to think about.
Cody picked up his phone and dialed in Ted’s number.
“Hey, Cody,” Ted answered.
“Hey. What are you doing Wednesday?” Cody asked before Ted could say anything else.
“Moving my belongings into the rectory. Why?”
“Well, I figured since we were moving east on the tour and I have Wednesday off…”
“Are you coming to visit again? Twice in one week? To what do I owe this honour?”
“Just wanted to see you again is all.”
“Did you have anything you need to tell me?”
“If there is, it’ll be better said face to face.”
“Is it bad?”
“Did you watch the match last night?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye,” Cody said, hanging up so Ted couldn’t reply.
“Bye,” Ted muttered into the dial tone. What was it Cody had to tell him? Was he hurt? Did something go wrong during the match? Was it something about Randy? God, why couldn’t he have said something over the phone, relieve him of some stress?
The entire next day, Cody was thinking about what he was going to say to Ted. But even though they each had their minds on other things, Cody and Randy couldn’t help but be drawn towards each other. Cody tried to fight the urge to close in on Randy when he came out to interrupt Randy’s match, but he couldn’t control himself. Each step only intensified the feelings between them.
Cody was soon at ringside, keeping his eyes on Randy the entire time. Randy constantly glanced over his shoulder, making eye contact each time. Behind the ref’s back, Cody pulled the rope down, sending Randy to the floor, which caught the ref’s attention. Unable to make any moves, they continued their stare down. And then Cody smirked as he stepped away from the prone body.
He stayed at ringside through the whole match in which Randy won, arm raised high, after an RKO on John Morrison. Cody raised an eyebrow and backed away, never taking his eyes off of Randy.
Backstage after the untelevised match, the two found themselves face to face once again. “I’m going to talk to Teddy tomorrow,” Cody informed him.
“That’s nice.”
They both wanted it; there was no way to deny the underlying sexual tension between them. So, neither of them were at all surprised when they found themselves in the locker room, Cody spun around towards the wall, trunks pulled down just enough to expose his ass, with Randy pounding into him.
“It’s never gonna end between us, is it?” Cody asked as he sat on a bench once he had his trunks pulled up. “As much as we want it to stop, we don’t want to end it even more.”
“Is that what you’re gonna tell Teddy?”
“Shit, I don’t know. I really don’t know, man. I can’t keep doing this with you, though, that I do know. It’s so fucked up, this entire situation.”
“And that’s why you should have just kept on doing exactly what you were doing.”
“Doesn’t a life of sex with stranger after stranger, me and your wife get tiring after a while?”
“Hasn’t yet. Look, you just said yourself that you don’t see this ending between us, so why not tell that to Ted?”
“Because I want something with him.”
“But you can’t have anything with him!” Randy fired back. “You know something is gonna happen to fuck up what you have going on with Teddy, whatever the fuck that is.”
“I don’t want to fuck up his life.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Cody had off and he finally had his chance to see Ted. Just like he promised, Ted had started moving his things into the rectory with the other priests. However, as soon as he saw Cody walking up from the parking lot to the church, he headed outside.
Cody had a small, sad smile on his face as he saw Ted emerging from the church. “Hey,” he said in greeting.
“Hey. Long time, no see. What’s going on?” Ted cut right to the chase. He knew something had to be up for Cody to come over and see him like this.
“Is anyone else around right now?”
Ted turned a wary eye to Cody. Why should it matter if someone else was around? “You’re not going to… do anything… are you?”
“I had sex with Randy.”
“What?”
“Monday night after the match me and Randy fucked.” Cody took a breath during Ted’s stunned silence and continued, “Last night, as well. Things got pretty heated between us and it just… It just happened. I felt like shit after, though.”
After, now that was an interesting word. Felt like shit after the sex. “Ok, so you felt bad after. How about during?”
“What?” Cody asked, not expecting that from Ted.
“I asked how you felt during the sex. Not after, not before, but during.”
“It was great, I’m not gonna lie to you. But I almost said your name,” Cody told him as his voice dropped to a whisper.
Ted grabbed hold of Cody’s shoulder and walked him away from the church where one of his colleagues could potentially hear what was being discussed, and these were strictly private matters. “Are you serious?”
“Yes! Damn, Teddy, I’m so fucking confused, and I’m so sorry.”
“God forgives you.”
Cody was slightly taken aback by the comment. God forgives him? Why would Teddy jump straight to God? “Good for Him. But what about you?”
“Look around, Cody; it’s my job to forgive.”
“No, I’m not asking if Father Theodore Marvin DiBiase, Jr. can forgive me, I’m asking if you, Teddy, can forgive me.”
“Forgive you for sleeping with someone who can actually give you everything you want and need? I can,” Ted answered him. He was completely honest in his answer, as well. He did forgive Cody, because, really, what had Cody done wrong? Wasn’t he the strange one, after all? He was willingly denying his body of its wants and needs to fulfill his duties to God, the Big Man in the Sky, a being who may or may not actually exist.
“But I told you that same morning that I was done…”
“People do worse things. Besides, the more I look at us, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past couple days, the more I know that nothing can happen between us. We both know it. I can’t risk my livelihood for something that’s not a guarantee. Look, Cody, I told you last time that I really did want you, but I don’t want to be just another notch on your belt.”
“Shit, Teddy, you could never be just another meaningless, nameless fuck. You’re not just another conquest.”
“But you have to know where I’m coming from, right?”
“Oh, I do. And I can’t help but think about what would happen to you if someone found out what happened. Then I know that it was my fault because I was a fucking dumbass who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”
“No, don’t say that. You’re not the type to keep your feelings bottled up inside you, especially strong ones, at least, if you feel it anything like I do, they’re strong feelings.”
“Shit, Ted, you just said that we had to stop this, and now you’re telling me that you have these feelings for me; I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”
“Something’s gonna give. How would you feel if I told you that I went to confession the day you left?”
“You mean you wound up going after all?”
“Don’t you see, Cody, this is how it’ll end up every. Single. Time. I’ll run to confession, you’ll run to Randy. I think we should recognize that what happened was a one time thing.”
“But you said you wanted-”
“I do. Which is why it can’t ever happen again.” Ted had already decided. He had had time to think about what they did together, and knew that at this point in time, having just been ordained, he couldn’t test the waters. He wanted to say fuck the rules, fuck the priesthood, fuck God, all so he could fuck Cody, but he knew that he’d never be able to. He’d never be able to live with himself and the guilt that he had betrayed his word to God. He had known that eventually he would have to decide between God and Cody. Of course, with Cody away, it made the choosing God thing a hell of a lot easier. But God it had to be.
“Why can’t it happen again? You told me that you were ok with this, that you wouldn’t object to doing things again just days ago.”
“I wouldn’t, and therein lies the problem. You know that I care about you more than anyone else in this world; I hope you know that.”
“But even then-”
“Even then I can’t give up my life. What would I do, Cody? I’d be an excommunicated priest who got kicked out of the clergy because I was in a relationship with another man. Then what would I do? I couldn’t continue living here, not where people’s views are so conservative. I’m not trained in anything else; I’ve dedicated my life to this. This,” Ted said, gesturing around to his surroundings, ending by pointing directly at the rectory and church, “is my life.”
“I’ll never be able to get past what we did two days ago. Won’t be forgetting that moment any time soon, considering I’ve wanted that to happen for years.”
“And I don’t want you to. I don’t want to forget, either. I want to take that memory with me everywhere I go, so I know just what I lost.”
“Knowing what you lost still isn’t enough to make you want this to happen between us?”
Ted dropped his gaze to the ground, kicking a rock with his shoe. He glanced back up, a sad, somber look on his face, as he looks into Cody’s eyes. Leaning forward, Ted places a kiss on Cody’s unexpecting lips. It was just a light touch, but it conveyed a lot. When he pulled back, he couldn’t fight it, and he pulled Cody into a hug. With his mouth right next to Cody’s ear, he whispered, “I love you.”
Cody could say nothing in reply. He honestly had no idea what to do. He didn’t know if he just lost his best friend for good or if, maybe, they could still have a real more than friendship, but certainly not just sex relationship further down the road.
“Don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me this easily,” Ted said as he pulled apart from the hug. “I expect you to keep on being yourself, ok?”
“Ok.” He placed his hands on Ted’s shoulders and found himself leaning in towards Ted’s ear as he whispered, “You don’t know how bad I wanna sin with you right now.”
“Good to know you haven’t lost that Cody Runnels sense of tact.”
“Never.”
“Just like you’ll never lose me. Got that?”
Cody gave Ted a small smile and replied, “Got it.”
With that, Ted turned back towards the rectory and began his walk to his new home. He heard footsteps following to catch up to him and when he turned to the side he was face to face with Cody once again. “Yeah?”
“Just thought I’d ask if my best friend would like some help moving. I am the IC champ, ya know, I think I can help with some of that heavy lifting.”
Ted gave him a true, bright smile. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot. Plus you still have to get my couch. Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t ever have sex on it. Unless it’s with me,” Ted threw out there.
“Got it. Never have sex on the couch.”
“And I’m tellin’ ya, if you come to me confessing that you did have sex on the couch, there will be no forgiveness thrown your way.”
“Yes, Father,” Cody replied, bumping into Ted’s shoulder as they continued their walk, a sense of understanding between the pair that now was just not the right time for them, but each had a glimmer of hope that perhaps someday, they would have their chance.
Pairing: Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes, Cody/Randy
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Follows right after Our Father. Ted has to make a choice between the two men in his life. And can Cody manage to even stay away from Randy?
Disclaimer: All rights belong to the WWE
Warnings: Strong religious content! And perhaps a lot of sacriligious goings on...
Word Count: 8718
Feedback: Would be lovely
A/N: I was looking ALL OVER for this fic in my LJ to re-read before starting part 3 and couldn't find it. WEIRD. Cuz I never delete things. So, yeah, this is just a re-post of the fic. Skip if you've read before.
Also, here's the first part, Our Father
“Where did you want me to sleep?” Cody asked in a quiet tone once he and Ted arrived back at Ted’s place.
“You can stay on the couch,” Ted answered him.
“Will things be awkward between us now?” Cody took a seat on the couch and looked up at Ted.
Ted sat down, as well, giving Cody a small smile. “I hope not. This is totally new to me, though. I don’t know… I’m not sure how to deal with it.”
“You just have to roll with it. You wanted it, Teddy, remember that. We both did.”
There was no way he could deny that. He wanted his best friend, had wanted him for as long as he could remember… That was one of the reasons he was driven to become a priest. He needed to quell his desires, and he always had such strong desires for his younger friend. His younger male friend, at that. So what better way than to deny the body of all its wants than to become a priest?
Well, ok, that wasn’t the only reason. He truly had felt as though he was called to do this, like he was hand picked to spread God’s word. Ever since he was young, he enjoyed going to church, enjoyed listening to the Father give his service. This was a job that only a select few would want to have, what with the strict rules and guidelines, which would ultimately be judged by none other than the Big Man himself, God.
After a pause to gather his thoughts, Ted finally replied, “I may have wanted it, but I shouldn’t have let you… do anything. I know better. This is more than just my job that we’re talking about. I put my entire being on the line.”
“And did God strike you down for getting your dick sucked by a dude?”
Ted ran his hands through his hair in pure frustration. “Dammit, Cody, this isn’t the time to joke!”
“Woah there, bud. It’s ok, man, I’ve yet to get sucked down into the eternal circle of hellfire and brimstone for givin’ it to a guy.”
“Would you, for once in your life, not talk about your dick and your affinity for men? Please?”
“Sorry,” Cody acquiesced.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m just not myself right now.” Ted looked at his friend and gave him a small smile. “I’m going to pray.” Ted placed a hand on Cody’s lap as he pushed himself up and off the couch.
“Wait, Teddy,” Cody said, grabbing onto Ted’s wrist. “What about… Was this only a one time thing?” He stood up, making sure to stand close, getting in Ted’s personal space.
“I…”
“Will you let me kiss you again?” he whispered.
Silence. Ted knew he should back the fuck up, get himself out of this now before he got himself in too deep, to the point where he could no longer crawl out. Instead he stood there, feeling Cody’s breath on his face and reading the question in his eyes. Watching as those ice blue eyes fell shut as the face came closer and pressed lips to lips.
Why was it that it felt so right, but was so fucking wrong? Their bodies were the perfect fit for one another, just like their personalities. What a fucker that God fella was. He put Cody and Teddy on the earth together, had them grow up together as best friends, best friends who could easily be the most perfect couple on all of His green earth, then threw a wrench into it all when He showed Teddy that his true path was with Him. It just wasn’t fucking fair! His entire body wanted, no needed to be with Cody, but his mind was screaming at him to STOP! Stop it all now! His heart was supposed to belong with God. His body was supposed to belong with God. His soul was supposed to belong with God. God and Cody were not supposed to be synonymous with one another. Cody was not supposed to be greater than God. So why was he? SHIT!
Ted pulled back out of the kiss, dropping his hands to the side, the hands that had previously been inside Cody’s jean pockets. “Please, Cody, give me some space. Just… Let me pray.”
“For your soul?” Cody asked with a bite in his voice.
“For an answer,” Ted replied. He turned away and walked into his room, closing the door behind him.
Cody sighed and sat down on the couch, flipping on the TV where he absently stared at it, not exactly watching reruns of Planet Earth. Fuck.
Teddy held his rosary in his hand, going through bead after bead of “Hail Mary full of grace…” When he completed his string of Hail Mary’s, he still had no answer, and his knees were killing him. He nearly turned to the Lord’s Prayer, but that had become Cody’s prayer. Ok, so that was out. He turned his head to the side, spotting his trusty Bible. Maybe a passage from his Book would help him find an answer. As long as he avoided Leviticus, right?
He wound up doing another string of Hail Mary’s instead.
Cody wound up falling asleep in front of the TV after sitting there mindlessly for a couple hours. Before going to bed himself, Ted went out to the other room to get a glass of water, his mental excuse for checking on Cody. When he saw that Cody had fallen asleep, he switched off the TV and the light before heading back into his own room.
The next morning, Ted woke up, still with a guilty conscience. It’s not like he did anything terrible… Except he truly did hold lust in his heart. Although, at this point, after carrying the feeling around for so long, even though it had been buried within him for so long, could it really be called lust? Well, it’s not like loving a man was any less of a sin…
He headed out to the main room to pour himself some cereal. He noticed Cody was still sleeping. Looking down at the younger man, he couldn’t help but feel that twinge of guilt as he felt arousal stirring. Cody looked so peaceful, so innocent, so sweet. How could Ted have resisted him for this long?
“I know you’re staring,” Cody muttered sleepily.
“Sorry…” Ted muttered, turning away to start rummaging for a bowl.
“It’s ok. I know you want me.”
Ted really had no idea what to say. Yeah, he really did want him.
“Please don’t tell me you’re still feeling bad about what we did yesterday.” Cody sat up and rubbed his eyes before standing up to join Ted by the counter.
“Cereal?”
“Fuck, you do!”
“I… It’s new to me, Cody. It’s all new. Incase you forgot, this isn’t supposed to be something I know at all. I’m supposed to be celibate.”
“I know, I know. It just sucks, though… I’ve wanted you for so long, and finally got a taste…”
“I know the feeling…”
“Will there still be anything between us? I told you last night that I would stop sleeping around as long as I knew that I had you. I need to know, Teddy, do I still have you?”
“You always have me.”
Cody grabbed Teddy’s shoulders and spun him so they were facing one another. “Kiss me. Before you pour yourself that bowl of cereal, all I want you to do is kiss me.”
“Don’t do this to me.”
“So, it’s ok when someone else initiates it, but not you?”
“I never said that… Cody, I don’t fucking know what I’m going through right now.”
“Kiss me now, think about it later.” Just one little kiss was all Cody was asking for. He wanted anything he could get at this point. Shit, he’d take a kiss on the cheek.
Ted closed his eyes and leaned forward, placing a kiss right on Cody’s lips. His nerves were so shot, he was shaking. “Can I have my cereal now?”
“Yeah,” Cody answered with a smile.
It was only about an hour later when Cody told Ted he had to get to the airport soon. Couldn’t miss Raw that night, after all. Cody gave Ted another kiss before he left Ted’s apartment when the cab he called arrived. “Don’t forget to watch me tonight.”
“I told you already, I watch for Brett.”
“Dude, I know Brett is your excuse to watch my sexy ass parading around in spandex with other half naked men.”
“Like Randy…” Ted muttered.
Cody’s head shot up. Had he heard that right? “What did you just say?”
“I said like Randy. Half naked men like Randy that you used to fuck.” This time Cody’s eyes began to wander, as though Ted said something he disagreed with. “Wait, do you and Randy still…?”
“Yeah, ok, we do. We’ve been fucking for years. We’re each other’s go to guys when it’s a lousy night at the bar.”
“Guess I should have known… Cody, are you done with him, too? Because I can’t give you everything that you need… And I shouldn’t even be giving you this much. I want you to be happy.”
“I told you I was done with that.” He could do it, give up the sex with random strangers… and Randy… knowing that he had some part of Teddy. He hoped. “I’ll see you later, Teddy,” Cody told him.
“Bye.”
Cody kissed Ted a final time before leaving for the airport.
It wasn’t long after Cody left before Ted found himself in his car. Where he was going, he didn’t know, but he had to find a church where he wouldn’t be recognized. He couldn’t risk confessing his sins to someone in his own church. So what if everything was supposed to stay confidential, there’s no way he could live with himself if he told another priest that he would be living with that he had some form of sexual relations with his best friend.
He drove for at least two hours before he saw a St. Thomas church in a small town. He pulled into the dirt parking lot in front and walked through the front doors. It was policy to wear the white collar, the dog collar as Cody so fondly referred to it as, but this time he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t risk someone seeing him, knowing a priest was confessing to these things.
No one would be in the confessional at this time, but he figured a priest would come out at some point. For the time being, he sat down in a pew before dropping the bar for them to kneel on. He had no idea just how long he was kneeling and praying, but eventually a Father walked in.
Ted stood as soon as he saw him. “I need to make a confession.”
“Of course.” The Father looked at him, observing. “You look familiar.”
“Umm, I guess I just have one of those faces.”
The other priest just shrugged and took them to the confessional. Ted’s mind flashed to the last time he was in a confessional booth, and damn, it had been nice.
Once they were both settled, Ted began, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
“And when was your last confession?”
“Yesterday,” Ted answered.
Undoubtedly, the priest was taken aback. “Yesterday? Well, you move fast.” He joked. “Tell me, what are you confessing?”
“I had lust in my heart, and I acted on it. With my best friend. Cody.”
It wasn’t often he had confessions of lust come through his door. Someone was generally quite familiar with the words of God when they come in confessing to lust. “You weren’t forced into it?”
“No, Father. He came to visit me and I had no idea he was coming. He talks non-stop about his antics, and he winds up telling me in confession…” Ted stopped instantly when he let that slip. Shit. This was not good.
“In confession?”
“I won’t tell you that part, as I’m sure you can figure out what he told me, and, well… confessions are meant to be kept confidential.”
“You could be stripped of your priesthood.”
“That’s why I came to confess.”
“Did you break your vow of celibacy?”
“No. He doesn’t know that I’m doing this, that I’m confessing. It would break his heart to know that I’m here. He doesn’t believe that what he’s doing is a sin, or that what we did together was a sin.”
“I noticed you only said the lust you felt was the sin. Do you not believe that homosexuality is a sin, as well?”
“He’s been my best friend since I was a kid, and told me that he was gay when he was 16. There’s no way that I could think homosexuality was a sin, not when I see him and know that he’s no worse off a person simply because he likes men.”
“Do you feel guilty?”
“I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, because, while I’ve never told anyone this before, I’ve wanted him for so long. I told him when I was 18 that I wanted to join the clergy, and if I were to be honest, my desire for him was one of the reasons I joined. I had to learn how to control myself. As for feeling guilty about what we did yesterday… I think I feel worse about where it happened more so than what we did.”
Curiosity had gotten the better of the other priest. Really, it was no secret that they enjoyed listening to other’s deepest and darkest secrets. They wanted to milk it for everything it was worth. “And where did this… incident… happen, exactly?”
“Umm, I’m not sure if that’s supposed to stay confidential, as well.”
“No.”
“Yeah…”
“Do you feel better now that you’ve told all this to me?”
“I think I feel worse,” Ted admitted.
“Did you want me to absolve you still?”
“I don’t think so.”
“One of these days, you’ll have to choose between God and your Cody fella.”
“I can’t leave the clergy. I was meant to do this. I know I was; this is my calling.”
“You can’t continue harbouring lustful feelings for another man. The longer you keep this going, the harder it will be for you to focus on your life as a Father.”
“It was nice talking to you,” Ted said, cutting the other man off before he could go on any longer about Ted having to make a choice between the two men he loved most in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night during the show, Randy cut a promo absolutely ripping into Cody. They were really starting to set up their feud, the one that would end with Cody winning the title from Randy. “What makes you so much as think you’re even in my league? Because we were in a little group together? Well, The Legacy is a thing of the past, and it was a privilege you never lived up to. Now you can’t even defeat the second rate talent they have running around here chasing after your Intercontinental title,” he said in reference to Cody’s match the previous week where he lost to the current top contender for his own belt, “and you expect to beat me tonight in hopes of becoming number one contender?” Randy hoisted his title up higher on his shoulder as it slipped down slightly from the slick t-shirt. “You best take a good look at this belt now, because this is the closest you will ever get to it.”
They didn’t see each other at all before the match went down, but Cody had seen the look of intensity in Randy’s eyes. He knew that look. That was the look that said “I fucking want you right now.”
When they finally did meet in the ring, Cody was amazed the entire place didn’t erupt in a blaze from their evident sexual tension. Cody watched as Randy slowly walked down the ramp, his slick chest gleaming under the lights, his thighs… well, what was there to even say about Randy’s thighs apart from that they’re pure perfection? Those tattooed arms looked amazing on him, and Cody didn’t even like tattoos. Fuck, he had to get Randy and his flawless body out of his mind. He was with Teddy now.
But the longer their match went on, the more overtly sexual the two became. The first near fall consisted of Randy lying his back on Cody’s chest, while his left arm hooked a leg and his right arm slipped under Cody’s neck, cupping it, and oh so lightly stroking it. “What the fuck are you doing?” Cody muttered once they were standing up again.
“Having fun.”
Near fall after near fall went by, a touch here, a stroke there. One time Cody felt his hand graze over Randy’s cock, which instantly reacted to his touch, as he went for the pin. Simple holds oozed with sex, mere skin on skin contact was enough to get those two going.
Finally came the RKO. Or, rather, the blocked attempt at an RKO. Cody managed to set up the Cross Rhodes and drop Randy, but his cover left nothing to the imagination as he lay flush over Randy’s body, one of Randy’s legs thrown awkwardly to the side, and Cody made sure to grind himself against the body beneath him. The pinning position was nothing new for Cody, he had used it on many opponents before, but he didn’t have those sexual undertones with anyone. And no one else ever raised their hips up to get that extra bit of contact.
As soon as the ref’s hand hit the mat that third time, Cody stood from the pin to get his hand raised in victory. He stared down at Randy, whose eyes were boring straight through him. Fuck.
Ted was in his apartment, sitting on his couch watching wrestling. His brother won his match, and he was absolutely thrilled for him. The show went on, matches and backstage segments passed. Randy came up on the screen, talking smack about Cody, and all he could think about was Cody telling him that those two had fucked before, and how Randy’s words were laced with sex. It wasn’t long after that that they were getting announced for the match, and he smiled without even realizing it as soon as he saw Cody the first time.
The match got underway, and Ted didn’t know if it was him, now that he had this knowledge of Cody and Randy’s past together, but it seemed as though every move they were making was some bizarre sex show. No, it couldn’t just be him. It couldn’t be.
Ted captured his head in his hands as he continued to watch. Cody said that he wouldn’t be doing anything with Randy anymore. It was a show, it was all for show. That’s it, that’s all it was. Because Cody told him that he meant the world to him, Randy had just been convenient and easy… But did he see that right? Did Cody just graze Randy’s dick intentionally?
At the pin, Ted’s mouth dropped. Jaw meet floor, floor meet jaw. Cody was… He… They practically put on a porno out there for the entire goddamn world to see. Teddy took a deep breath and said aloud, “It’s just a show.”
Backstage, a few minutes later, after another match, a camera was following Cody through the halls where he ran into Randy entering his locker room. “Hey, Champ,” Cody began. “That was a great match we had out there, wasn’t it?”
Randy steeled his jaw, clenching his teeth as Cody spoke and he said nothing in reply.
“Now what’s that you were saying earlier? If I remember correctly it was something about me not being in your league. Isn’t that what it was?”
The jaw muscle continued to twitch as Randy’s eyes stared right at Cody.
“Let me try and figure that one out. Ok, so, I’m not in your league, never have been, according to you, and yet I beat you tonight to become number one contender for that nice lookin’ belt of yours.” Cody reached his hand out and ran his fingers down the metal surface, staring right at Randy, wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue out of pure instinct. His eyes flickered briefly to the belt before going right back to Randy. “Something doesn’t add up.”
Randy finally breaks the silence, “Tonight was nothing but a fluke. You and I both know that when the match counts for something, you won’t man up. Why don’t you try back in a couple years?”
Cody paused. He knew what he was supposed to say, but all he could think of was when Randy said that to him all those years ago before they fucked for the first time.
Randy was having the same thought. He remembered telling Cody to come back to him when he was older… So he figured this was just what Cody was thinking. “You come to your senses and agree with me?” he covered.
“No, I don’t think so. I look forward to kicking your ass again in a couple weeks,” he finished with a smirk.
Looking at that smirk, god, Randy wanted to smack it off his face… And then kiss it better. But that would have to wait for those fucking cameras to turn the fuck off.
Once the cameras were turned off and the camera men had left, Cody and Randy stood alone in the hallway. Randy was already in Cody’s personal space, but he leaned in even closer as he said, ever so bluntly, “Let’s fuck.”
Shit. Cody really had brought it on himself, though. All his actions out in the ring and, well, just now screamed sex. “I dunno… I’m not really up to it right now…”
“Bullshit. From the look of things, you’re up for it.” Randy moved in closer, dropping a hand to Cody’s dick.
Cody took a step back leaving a very confused and angry looking Randy. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore,” he threw out there.
Randy glared and opened the door to his dressing room, pulling Cody in behind him and slamming the door shut. “Why the fuck not? Did Saint Theodore have some choice words for you regarding your sexual orientation?” he snipped back.
“No.” Actually, Teddy was behind him 100% when it came to his sexual orientation. And maybe one of these days Teddy would be behind him literally. “But you’re married. And Sam’s pregnant with your second.”
Quirking an eyebrow, Randy responded, “In case you forgot, I was married last week. Sam was also pregnant last month. And the month before that. And a couple of years ago she was pregnant for the first time, yet that never stopped you. So, what’s stopping you now?”
“I…”
Randy captured Cody’s mouth in a kiss, instantly snaking his tongue out into Cody’s mouth. Cody responded to the kiss, but only briefly. He broke it off and pushed on Randy’s shoulders before taking a step back himself.
“What the fuck?! Did you forget that for years you begged me for this? Since you were fourteen years old, Cody, we’ve been doing this, and never once did you object to it; not when I had girlfriends and started dating Sam, when you had your boyfriends in high school, or whatever the fuck it was… We fucked the day before my wedding, we fucked when I told you Sam was pregnant… Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t fuck now, because I want you. I want to feel you inside me.”
“Well, maybe it’s time that I got past that… Like, you said, it’s been years. Maybe it’s time we both moved on. Don’t you ever feel bad for your family with you fucking around like this?”
“Since when did you become so concerned for my family? What’s with you, Cody?”
Could he tell Randy what was actually going on? How could he possibly say “Oh, well, the real reason I don’t want to sleep with you today is because I’m with Teddy. I mean, I ground against him in a confessional booth and sucked him off, but that’s it. We can’t do anything else, and I’ll probably never get laid ever again, but I finally got Teddy, just a little bit of him, and I love him more than you’ll ever know,” to someone like Randy, who had seemingly never felt an ounce of love for someone other than himself in his life.
So instead he put on his smirk and kissed Randy. “Just pushing your buttons… I like getting you riled up.”
Randy’s hands were all over Cody, up his back, down his trunks, over his neck; anywhere and everywhere was fair game. Cody was the same way. He was touching Randy all over his torso, up his neck, finally settling on the back of his head. Their tongues clashed in a battle of dominance, and neither one would back down, only adding to the sheer sexual tension.
“Hotel. Right fucking now,” Randy growled.
His senses didn’t return to him during the frenzied drive back to the hotel. Goddamn, there was nothing like Randy’s touch. They both knew each other so well; they knew how to drive each other up the fucking wall. Some parts of Cody’s lust-rattled brain were screaming at him to stop. But those were very small parts of his brain, obviously, because he wasn’t stopping. As Randy drove, Cody rushed to release Randy from his confines.
Randy reached down and slid the chair back another notch, giving Cody some extra room. Cody opened his mouth wide, taking Randy’s dick into his mouth, straight to the back of his throat, all in one go. He suctioned his mouth in around Randy, learning every line and vein over again. After a few small draws up, Cody picked up the pace, bobbing his head up and down as Randy’s hips jerk up and his foot presses down on the gas.
Cody’s head continued its up and down path while Randy fought to keep his eyes on the road. One of Cody’s hands was resting on Randy’s leg while the other had a strong hold on his hip. Randy had his left hand on the steering wheel and his right was firmly planted on Cody’s head; he eased up when Cody raised his head, but he all but forced Cody’s head back down onto him.
He was on the edge for the last leg of the car trip, which hadn’t lasted as long as it normally would have considering the speeds at which they were traveling. Still, Cody knew exactly the right time to slow down or back off completely to keep Randy going for as long as he wanted. And Cody apparently wanted it to continue in the hotel room.
Randy hadn’t even shut off the car’s engine before Cody was off of him and saying, “Out of the fucking car now.”
They didn’t even bother with their bags; that only ate up their precious time.
‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ Cody’s brain screamed at him. ‘What the fuck is taking you so long?!’ the rest of his lust crazed body was shouting.
The two of them rushed back to their room. Yeah, they still roomed together even though they were both big names, there was just something nice about staying with someone, especially when you enjoyed their company. And the sex was good. And with those two, the sex was always good, beyond good, amazing, mind blowing… Intense.
It was no different that night. They locked lips once again in the elevator and once behind the closed door of their room, instantly began stripping off their clothing. Neither one cared where it landed, because all they wanted in that moment was the other.
“Still wanna feel me inside you?” Cody asked as he stepped out of the sweats he threw on before running into Randy backstage.
“Yesssss,” Randy hissed, crawling up the bed until his head hit the pillows.
Cody met him up there, claiming Randy’s mouth with his own. He reached to the side table and opened the drawer, pulling out the lube he knew Randy would put there.
Sitting back on the balls of his feet, Cody opened it and squirted some into his hand.
“Goddamn, hurry up. I need you now,” Randy pleaded. He had been wanting this since their match together. The pin fall was what solidified it for him, with Cody practically telling him that he wanted to fuck him.
Cody slid a single finger inside of Randy, but it’s not long before Randy’s saying, “Fuck that, want you.”
Giving a nod, Cody rolled over a second time and grabbed a condom from the same drawer. He knew Randy’s body, and knew that he can take it like that, so unprepared. And the tighter ring of muscle feels so good around Cody’s dick. He rolled on the condom before picking up Randy’s legs and hoisting them over his ever broadening shoulders.
Randy already had his eyes screwed shut, awaiting the painful entrance. He didn’t scream or cry as Cody pushed forward, he simply bit on his hand. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t care, though, knowing that the pleasure that was soon to come would be payment enough for the coppery taste of his own blood.
As the minutes went by, the pain abated and was replaced by sheer pleasure. The feel of Cody’s dick inside him was always enough to get him going, since he didn’t let it happen too often. But, fuck if Cody didn’t feel amazing. They never lost a beat, those two.
Randy was shouting obscenities left and right, telling Cody to fuck him harder, that he felt so fucking good; anything that came to his mind he said.
Cody didn’t say a whole lot. Especially after he nearly slipped. “Oh, fuuuuck, T,” he began, nearly moaning out Ted’s name in the heat of the moment. He instantly covered by saying, “too good, Randy, fuck, you feel too good around me. No one feels like you do.”
After the sex, the pair took showers and flipped on the TV as they sat in bed together. “So, how was your visit with Saint Teddy?”
“Do you have to call him that?”
Randy smirked and continued, “What, are you saying he’s not a saint?”
“Not at all…” Cody answered. He sighed, knowing at that moment that it was a bad idea to tell Teddy about his feelings. Even though Ted told him that he knew, it didn’t matter. Ted should be a saint. He shouldn’t be… shouldn’t be corrupting him like he was. “Shit!”
Randy raised his eyebrow at Cody’s sudden expletive. “What’s up?”
Cody’s head dropped back against the wooden headboard and he let out a long, frustrated sigh. “I’m fucked, Randy…” He rolled his head in Randy’s direction, looking him right in the eye. “I fucked up.”
“How?”
“Everything. I told Teddy everything. Told him that I’ve had a crush on him since forever. He said that he knew.”
Randy was really interested now. He didn’t think Cody would ever spill the beans to Ted. “He knew?”
“Yeah…”
“And then what?”
Cody rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, not sure how much he should tell Randy. Fuck it, he always told Randy everything. “I sucked him off in the confessional.”
Randy laughed. God, what kind of bullshit did Cody try to feed him? Teddy wouldn’t let Cody suck him off anywhere, much less in a church confessional. “Come on, man, what really happened?”
“What makes you think I wasn’t telling you what really happened?”
“There’s no fucking way Saint Theodore would let you blow him, especially not in his precious church. Come on, tell me what happened once you told Teddy that you’ve wanted to fuck him since you were a teenager.”
“That WAS what happened!” Cody shouted at him. “He told me that he knew, and felt the same fucking way. Then I told him to let me into his side of the confessional, and when he did, I kissed him. I kissed him and then I blew him and… Oh, it felt so good. But I fucked up… I told him that… I said I wouldn’t sleep around, I told him this morning that I wouldn’t sleep with you.”
“Why did you, then? What ever happened to just say no?”
“I DID say no!”
“Well, how come when I asked you what was with you, you didn’t just tell me what happened?! How come you waited until after we had sex to say anything about it?”
“Fuck, I don’t know… This morning when I left from Teddy’s he asked if I was still messing around with you, and I told him the truth. He asked if I was done with you because he couldn’t give me everything that I needed, and I told him that he was all I needed. And now here we are. Look at me! I can’t even go a day without going back on my word to him!”
“He’s got a point, though, doesn’t he? He can’t give you everything you need,” Randy said, scooting closer and resting a hand on Cody’s bare leg.
“I shouldn’t need to have my dick in someone’s ass to be happy with them.”
“You’ve been fucking around with guys since you were fourteen, I don’t think it’d be that easy to change your oh so sinful ways overnight. Besides, he doesn’t have to know about this.”
“He doesn’t? Really, Randy, you think I’m not gonna tell him about this? Do you know how much it took for him to tell me his true feelings?”
“What is there for you to say to him, Cody? Sorry, bud, but I fucked Randy last night after our match. Oh, and I’m sorry if you saw that match, too, because we were practically fucking during that.”
“It’s a start. Do I really have such little control over myself? Just look at Ted… If I hadn’t said anything to him, he would have continued to live his celibate life, totally content with everything he had going.”
“You shouldn’t put everything into stock with Teddy.”
“But I want to. I want Teddy.”
“You can’t just be content in having Teddy as your best friend? You need more from him, too? What, is it true love, the man you’ve always been waiting for?”
“Shit, Randy, you know I’ve always wanted him! I don’t know if it’s love or what the fuck it actually is, but I can’t tell you how good it feels knowing that he thinks the same way about me.”
“Right, because he’s been having sexual fantasies about you since you were fourteen. I’m sure that’s just what it is…”
“Just because he never would have acted on them doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. God, I’m such a fuck up. I just ruined Ted’s life.”
“And that’s why you don’t tell him,” Randy reasoned.
“But it’s not just the sex with you, it’s everything. It’s my telling him that I wanted him that really fucked him over. What was I thinking?! I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. How did I ever think that saying something to him would be beneficial for either one of us? I royally fucked him over, and I just gave up sex… Maybe I should tell him to forget we ever did anything.”
“Here’s an idea: Teddy leaves the ministry.”
“He can’t, Randy. He already told me that he was chosen as a priest.”
“You know that’s bullshit. Don’t tell me otherwise. Bull fuckin’ shit. He expects you to give up your life for him, yet he won’t give up God for you, and he supposedly cares about you? What the fuck kind of relationship can you two even have?!”
“I don’t know, Randy, but we can at least try.”
“Yeah, well, you’re doing a damn fine job of trying, aren’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up, man, I know I fucked everything up, there’s no need to rub it in my face again and again.”
“I also like how you’re really trying to get away from me and my corrupting ways,” Randy said as he found himself leaning against Cody’s shoulder.
“Shit…” Cody sighed. He liked the feel of Randy leaning against him. Randy was the only person he ever sat with after and talked to. Randy was the only person he would snuggle up to or let snuggle up to him. Randy was the only person he would actually fall asleep with and wake up next to in the morning. After that first time when Cody instantly kicked Randy out of his bed, he had been waiting for a time when they could actually stay together, and once Cody was in OVW, moving his way up to the WWE, he knew he’d finally have that chance.
And now, Cody realized, he wouldn’t have that with anyone. He couldn’t just… Just give up Randy like that simply because somewhere Ted was waiting for him, because even when he did get back to Ted, they couldn’t do this. Sure, they could kiss and sleep in the same bed (if Ted would even agree to that), but that was it. He couldn’t even be guaranteed that he’d have someone to wake up with. Cody and Randy always came back to each other.
Randy sat up and wrapped an arm around Cody, pulling him in close. “You gotta figure this one out for yourself, man. I know you’ve always had a thing for Saint Teddy, but I don’t see how this is good for either of you. Don’t give me that look; I know you’re thinking the same thing I am. But you’ll go crazy if you have to go for God knows how long without sex, and just think of the kind of trouble Ted could get into if you two get found out. Do you want to be the one responsible for getting him kicked out of the church?”
“No. God no, I don’t want him to get into shit because of me. Fuck me… Don’t even go there,” Cody said before Randy could make any kind of comment.
“So, what are you gonna do about it?”
“I guess I have to talk to him again…”
“Because talking to him worked out so well the first time.”
“Just shut up. It’s not like you’re any better.”
“How’s that?”
“Umm, well, there’s the fact that you’re married,” Cody pointed out. “I don’t understand why you got married in the first place if you were just gonna screw around behind her back?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought she might help me change my ways.”
“Sam’s a nice woman, you know that. You shouldn’t do this to her.”
“You’re not exactly an innocent party in all of this.”
“I get that. Trust me, I get that. But maybe it’s time we both just grew the fuck up.”
Not another word was spoken that night between the two men. Shit, Randy was 30 years old with one kid and another on the way, and he was still fucking around with men and women alike while his wife sat at home, loving him and caring for their children. And Cody, well, he knew he’d never get married, but how long could he keep it up? How long could he keep up this lifestyle? How much longer would it be before it wasn’t even about companionship, but solely about sex? Had he already passed that point?
The next morning, they didn’t bring up their discussion from last night. They just knew they had a lot to think about.
Cody picked up his phone and dialed in Ted’s number.
“Hey, Cody,” Ted answered.
“Hey. What are you doing Wednesday?” Cody asked before Ted could say anything else.
“Moving my belongings into the rectory. Why?”
“Well, I figured since we were moving east on the tour and I have Wednesday off…”
“Are you coming to visit again? Twice in one week? To what do I owe this honour?”
“Just wanted to see you again is all.”
“Did you have anything you need to tell me?”
“If there is, it’ll be better said face to face.”
“Is it bad?”
“Did you watch the match last night?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye,” Cody said, hanging up so Ted couldn’t reply.
“Bye,” Ted muttered into the dial tone. What was it Cody had to tell him? Was he hurt? Did something go wrong during the match? Was it something about Randy? God, why couldn’t he have said something over the phone, relieve him of some stress?
The entire next day, Cody was thinking about what he was going to say to Ted. But even though they each had their minds on other things, Cody and Randy couldn’t help but be drawn towards each other. Cody tried to fight the urge to close in on Randy when he came out to interrupt Randy’s match, but he couldn’t control himself. Each step only intensified the feelings between them.
Cody was soon at ringside, keeping his eyes on Randy the entire time. Randy constantly glanced over his shoulder, making eye contact each time. Behind the ref’s back, Cody pulled the rope down, sending Randy to the floor, which caught the ref’s attention. Unable to make any moves, they continued their stare down. And then Cody smirked as he stepped away from the prone body.
He stayed at ringside through the whole match in which Randy won, arm raised high, after an RKO on John Morrison. Cody raised an eyebrow and backed away, never taking his eyes off of Randy.
Backstage after the untelevised match, the two found themselves face to face once again. “I’m going to talk to Teddy tomorrow,” Cody informed him.
“That’s nice.”
They both wanted it; there was no way to deny the underlying sexual tension between them. So, neither of them were at all surprised when they found themselves in the locker room, Cody spun around towards the wall, trunks pulled down just enough to expose his ass, with Randy pounding into him.
“It’s never gonna end between us, is it?” Cody asked as he sat on a bench once he had his trunks pulled up. “As much as we want it to stop, we don’t want to end it even more.”
“Is that what you’re gonna tell Teddy?”
“Shit, I don’t know. I really don’t know, man. I can’t keep doing this with you, though, that I do know. It’s so fucked up, this entire situation.”
“And that’s why you should have just kept on doing exactly what you were doing.”
“Doesn’t a life of sex with stranger after stranger, me and your wife get tiring after a while?”
“Hasn’t yet. Look, you just said yourself that you don’t see this ending between us, so why not tell that to Ted?”
“Because I want something with him.”
“But you can’t have anything with him!” Randy fired back. “You know something is gonna happen to fuck up what you have going on with Teddy, whatever the fuck that is.”
“I don’t want to fuck up his life.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Cody had off and he finally had his chance to see Ted. Just like he promised, Ted had started moving his things into the rectory with the other priests. However, as soon as he saw Cody walking up from the parking lot to the church, he headed outside.
Cody had a small, sad smile on his face as he saw Ted emerging from the church. “Hey,” he said in greeting.
“Hey. Long time, no see. What’s going on?” Ted cut right to the chase. He knew something had to be up for Cody to come over and see him like this.
“Is anyone else around right now?”
Ted turned a wary eye to Cody. Why should it matter if someone else was around? “You’re not going to… do anything… are you?”
“I had sex with Randy.”
“What?”
“Monday night after the match me and Randy fucked.” Cody took a breath during Ted’s stunned silence and continued, “Last night, as well. Things got pretty heated between us and it just… It just happened. I felt like shit after, though.”
After, now that was an interesting word. Felt like shit after the sex. “Ok, so you felt bad after. How about during?”
“What?” Cody asked, not expecting that from Ted.
“I asked how you felt during the sex. Not after, not before, but during.”
“It was great, I’m not gonna lie to you. But I almost said your name,” Cody told him as his voice dropped to a whisper.
Ted grabbed hold of Cody’s shoulder and walked him away from the church where one of his colleagues could potentially hear what was being discussed, and these were strictly private matters. “Are you serious?”
“Yes! Damn, Teddy, I’m so fucking confused, and I’m so sorry.”
“God forgives you.”
Cody was slightly taken aback by the comment. God forgives him? Why would Teddy jump straight to God? “Good for Him. But what about you?”
“Look around, Cody; it’s my job to forgive.”
“No, I’m not asking if Father Theodore Marvin DiBiase, Jr. can forgive me, I’m asking if you, Teddy, can forgive me.”
“Forgive you for sleeping with someone who can actually give you everything you want and need? I can,” Ted answered him. He was completely honest in his answer, as well. He did forgive Cody, because, really, what had Cody done wrong? Wasn’t he the strange one, after all? He was willingly denying his body of its wants and needs to fulfill his duties to God, the Big Man in the Sky, a being who may or may not actually exist.
“But I told you that same morning that I was done…”
“People do worse things. Besides, the more I look at us, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past couple days, the more I know that nothing can happen between us. We both know it. I can’t risk my livelihood for something that’s not a guarantee. Look, Cody, I told you last time that I really did want you, but I don’t want to be just another notch on your belt.”
“Shit, Teddy, you could never be just another meaningless, nameless fuck. You’re not just another conquest.”
“But you have to know where I’m coming from, right?”
“Oh, I do. And I can’t help but think about what would happen to you if someone found out what happened. Then I know that it was my fault because I was a fucking dumbass who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”
“No, don’t say that. You’re not the type to keep your feelings bottled up inside you, especially strong ones, at least, if you feel it anything like I do, they’re strong feelings.”
“Shit, Ted, you just said that we had to stop this, and now you’re telling me that you have these feelings for me; I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”
“Something’s gonna give. How would you feel if I told you that I went to confession the day you left?”
“You mean you wound up going after all?”
“Don’t you see, Cody, this is how it’ll end up every. Single. Time. I’ll run to confession, you’ll run to Randy. I think we should recognize that what happened was a one time thing.”
“But you said you wanted-”
“I do. Which is why it can’t ever happen again.” Ted had already decided. He had had time to think about what they did together, and knew that at this point in time, having just been ordained, he couldn’t test the waters. He wanted to say fuck the rules, fuck the priesthood, fuck God, all so he could fuck Cody, but he knew that he’d never be able to. He’d never be able to live with himself and the guilt that he had betrayed his word to God. He had known that eventually he would have to decide between God and Cody. Of course, with Cody away, it made the choosing God thing a hell of a lot easier. But God it had to be.
“Why can’t it happen again? You told me that you were ok with this, that you wouldn’t object to doing things again just days ago.”
“I wouldn’t, and therein lies the problem. You know that I care about you more than anyone else in this world; I hope you know that.”
“But even then-”
“Even then I can’t give up my life. What would I do, Cody? I’d be an excommunicated priest who got kicked out of the clergy because I was in a relationship with another man. Then what would I do? I couldn’t continue living here, not where people’s views are so conservative. I’m not trained in anything else; I’ve dedicated my life to this. This,” Ted said, gesturing around to his surroundings, ending by pointing directly at the rectory and church, “is my life.”
“I’ll never be able to get past what we did two days ago. Won’t be forgetting that moment any time soon, considering I’ve wanted that to happen for years.”
“And I don’t want you to. I don’t want to forget, either. I want to take that memory with me everywhere I go, so I know just what I lost.”
“Knowing what you lost still isn’t enough to make you want this to happen between us?”
Ted dropped his gaze to the ground, kicking a rock with his shoe. He glanced back up, a sad, somber look on his face, as he looks into Cody’s eyes. Leaning forward, Ted places a kiss on Cody’s unexpecting lips. It was just a light touch, but it conveyed a lot. When he pulled back, he couldn’t fight it, and he pulled Cody into a hug. With his mouth right next to Cody’s ear, he whispered, “I love you.”
Cody could say nothing in reply. He honestly had no idea what to do. He didn’t know if he just lost his best friend for good or if, maybe, they could still have a real more than friendship, but certainly not just sex relationship further down the road.
“Don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me this easily,” Ted said as he pulled apart from the hug. “I expect you to keep on being yourself, ok?”
“Ok.” He placed his hands on Ted’s shoulders and found himself leaning in towards Ted’s ear as he whispered, “You don’t know how bad I wanna sin with you right now.”
“Good to know you haven’t lost that Cody Runnels sense of tact.”
“Never.”
“Just like you’ll never lose me. Got that?”
Cody gave Ted a small smile and replied, “Got it.”
With that, Ted turned back towards the rectory and began his walk to his new home. He heard footsteps following to catch up to him and when he turned to the side he was face to face with Cody once again. “Yeah?”
“Just thought I’d ask if my best friend would like some help moving. I am the IC champ, ya know, I think I can help with some of that heavy lifting.”
Ted gave him a true, bright smile. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot. Plus you still have to get my couch. Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t ever have sex on it. Unless it’s with me,” Ted threw out there.
“Got it. Never have sex on the couch.”
“And I’m tellin’ ya, if you come to me confessing that you did have sex on the couch, there will be no forgiveness thrown your way.”
“Yes, Father,” Cody replied, bumping into Ted’s shoulder as they continued their walk, a sense of understanding between the pair that now was just not the right time for them, but each had a glimmer of hope that perhaps someday, they would have their chance.