Holy shit, Oz fic is DONE!!!!!
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS, this fic is mah longest fic ever! The word count? 15116. WHAT THE FUCK?! I really hope that it's quality AND quantitiy, ya know? But, yeah... Ok, I really hope I was able to get it good and angsty, but I dunno... I mean, I know I want angst, but I dunno if I was able to portray it... Oh, and a big thanks to alex_royale for a line in here. She knows the one. :D Ok, here's the fic... In two effing parts...
Also, a link to Chapter 2
The day was just like every other day in Oswald State Correctional Facility (Level 4); the inmates were woken up, counted, sent to breakfast, brought to their work assignment, fed lunch, then escorted back into Emerald City where the rest of their day (and night) was monitored by correctional officers. However, there was one slight difference: it was a shipment day.
John was in the corner under the stairs talking to his business partner Chucky Pancamo. “You worked out where the tits are comin’ in?” John asked.
“Everything’s settled.”
“Good. You ain’t heard nothin’ comin’ from any of the hacks, right? No talk of a raid, or some shit like that? Cuz that’s the last fuckin thing we need, especially on the day we’re gettin’ the shit in.”
“I know. But don’t worry, we’ll be good with this one. You know, I seen you talkin’ to that little fag-”
“Cody,” John corrected him.
“Ok, talkin’ to Cody, whatever. But he used to deal, right? You been talkin’ business with him, or have you just been lettin’ him suck your dick?” Chucky asked, sticking his chin out as he tilted his head back slightly.
“Fuck you, I don’t need him suckin’ my dick. And I may have discussed a little business with him, askin’ him about how he worked the clubs and shit, but I never brought up a possible partnership with us.” John heard footsteps approaching and instantly changed the subject, not knowing if it was a fellow inmate or a CO. “Yeah, I miss my girl back home,” he lied, first about the fact that he had a girl back home, and second, the fact that even if he did have one, he certainly wouldn’t be missing her. Not now that he had Randy.
“I know what you mean,” Chucky continued with the story, “my wife hasn’t been visitin’ here as much.”
“Hey, boys,” Officer Murphy said as he rounded the corner. This stairwell was the most unguarded area in all of Em City. In raids and even just regular daily patrols, officers and drug dogs found traces of drugs of all sort on the floor and on any other flat surface back there. “What brings you two back here, of all places?” he asked them with a raise of his eyebrow.
“Just talkin’ about our girls back home,” John told him.
“I thought you were single, Cena.”
“Just cuz I never put a rock on some chick’s finger don’t mean I ain’t got a girl, officer. Besides, Murph, who was ever limiting it to one?” John added with a wink.
“You’re quite the joker, aren’t you, Cena?”
“I do what I can. Someone’s gotta keep the morale up in this shit hole, am I right?” John asked, walking past Sean Murphy, patting him on the back of the shoulder as he passed.
Randy was sitting at a table playing checkers with Ryan O’Reily, waiting for John to finish his conversation with Chucky. Randy squinted at the man sitting at him across the table when he got yet another king. “You’re cheating, O’Reily,” Randy declared.
“Prove it,” Ryan said, his cocky confidence shining through his statement. “You’ve been watching me the whole time, haven’t you? How could I, of all people, be cheating?”
“Fuck, you just proved it yourself. You, of all people, would cheat their way through anything.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Orton. Shit, you’re just like me, you sneaky bastard.”
Randy smirked at Ryan’s words and the fact that he was able to jump a chain of Ryan’s pieces to get himself a king. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He turned his head when he felt a familiar hand clasp his shoulder. John pulled up a chair, flipped it around and once again straddled it as he watched the checker game progress. “Hey, John.”
“Hey. O’Reily cheatin’ again?” he asked when he saw Randy’s red checkers far out numbered by Ryan’s black ones.
“How come everyone just assumes that I’m cheating?”
“Probably because you are,” Tobias said as he walked past the table.
“Hey, fuck you, Beecher,” Ryan shouted back to him, his head following the other man’s path. He turned his attention back to the board and looked it over. He was able to jump Randy’s only king, wiping him off the board. “I win.”
“There’s no way you shoulda won that, you asshole.”
“Hey, all that matters is that I got the W, right? Doesn’t matter how I got it,” Ryan said with a smirk. As if he didn’t say everything with a smirk.
“Bastard.”
“Maybe you should try playing with Rebadow or Busmalis next time. Or Hill. At least if you lost as miserably to them as you did to me, you’d know you just suck. No cheating required.” Ryan stood up from the table and told them, “Goodbye, my friends, I gotta go find my brother before he gets himself into trouble.”
That brother he was talking about was Cyril, his younger brother. Several years back he became mentally handicapped during a fight at a funeral home. Ryan blamed himself for the events, since he was the one that was fucking that guy’s girlfriend, and it was him that that guy was after, Cyril was just there in his defense. If anyone should have gotten hurt in that fight, it was him. So now he had to do everything in his power to protect his little brother, his little brother that would forever have the mental capacity of a seven year old.
Randy and John waved and said, “See ya,” as he left.
“I really do suck at checkers, don’t I?” Randy said, examining the board, which was filled with nearly all of Ryan’s pieces while none of his were left.
“Yeah… You really do. It’s just not your thing. Which is why I love playing you in it,” John joked.
“You know what? You’re an asshole, too. So, what where you talking to Chucky about?”
“The weather,” John answered, the sarcasm obvious. John stood up and began walking to his pod, and Randy followed, leaving the board set up as they left it.
“So, he take care of the tits?”
“Yup, at least that’s what he tells me.” John kicked off his shoes and climbed up to his bed where he promptly laid down. “You got people comin’ up to you yet?”
“Yeah, shit,” Randy said as he moved in close to stand against John’s bed, “got people comin’ up to me all the time. They’re itchin’ for the next shipment, man. I don’t know if all this waiting is good or bad for business.” Randy glanced around and, when he didn’t see anyone outside, placed a gentle hand on John’s shoulder.
“Who the fuck else are they gonna go to? O’Reily? Nah, he sells tits on the side, but it’s not enough. The spicks? They ain’t been in the game since before you got here. And don’t even get me started on what a joke the Homeboys have become. They used to be legit competition, too. And, Randy, that’s all we got. When we have the tits, we sell ‘em, and we’re in high demand at all times.”
“So, what the fuck was the issue with the last shipment?” Randy asked, as he hadn’t been clued into this part of the operation. He and John were close, and he and John knew a lot about each other, but John never once told him how the tits were getting into Oz, and Randy figured it’d be that way for the rest of his stay in the prison.
“Guy on the other end didn’t come through.” John smirked when he said, “The new guy shouldn’t cause as many problems…”
Randy thought he knew where that was going, but he had to ask, “You got a new guy?”
John answered, the same sick smile on his face, “Well, the old guy can’t do dick when he’s at the bottom of the Hudson River, now can he?”
“You whacked a guy cuz he didn’t come through on a drug deal?”
“Randy, we have a business to run here. We can’t have all these glitches in the system. Besides, if we let this guy off for completely fucking us up, it’d send a bad message to everyone else working with us on the outside and the inside.”
Randy’s hand snaked up from John’s shoulder to his neck and finally rested on the top of his head, his fingers moving back and forth slightly. “I guess I better not fuck up, then.”
“Guess not. But, uh… I think you’d be pretty safe,” John told him, his voice terribly quiet. “Unless, of course, you fuck up royally.”
Randy couldn’t help but give a small smile at the words John had just spoken. The fact that he had some guy whacked for missing a delivery made John’s words even more special. “Alright, I can try.” He looked down at John, and despite their banter and their joking, his eyes grew sad. He wanted to do nothing more than bend his head down and kiss this man that had become his lover, but there was no way he could do it, not in the light of their cell when anyone could walk by. Sure there were rumours circulating that they were fucking each other, and while they were obviously true, each man denied everything, as they both had a reputation to uphold around the place. He mouthed the words, “Wanna kiss you,” to John, whose smile grew on his face, bringing out his dimples.
John didn’t smile like that often, since the dimples weren’t really his thing. But he couldn’t help himself most of the time when he was around Randy. Somehow, Randy always got him to smile. He knew just what to say and the right time to say it. “Me too,” John mouthed back. Sighing, knowing they couldn’t do anything about that, he sat up, breaking out of Randy’s touch. “Anyway,” John said, going back to business mode, “Chucky said something interesting…”
“What did Chucky say that was oh so interesting?”
“Cody.”
Randy shook his head, “I thought we talked about that? Didn’t we decide to not bring him into this?”
“I know, I know, but he’s got mad experience. The only reason he even got caught was because there was a bust in the club he was working that night.”
“McManus and Glynn know we’re around him all the time. And they know that you have something to do with the drug trade in this place. And let’s not forget that they know damn well just why Cody’s in here in the first place. John, look, we can’t go approaching him to do this. The kid doesn’t have that much time in here, not compared to us. He still has a chance to get out and have a life.”
“When did you become a motivational speaker?”
“Since I became the poster child for Sister Pete’s sessions. She believes that, with a few more meetings, we’ll have cracked through the surface of my anger issues.” Randy shrugged as John shook his head and chuckled. Sister Peter-Marie Raimundo was the prison’s resident nun and psychiatrist, and she was well respected amongst the inmates. She was always one to look on the bright side of things, always looking for hope in that hopeless cause. “But, in all seriousness, I really don’t know about approaching Cody to join in with us. It just seems too risky.”
“What if he approaches us?”
“Why would he do that?”
“Maybe he wants to make some extra green. So, if he comes to us, what do we say? That we have nothing to do with the drug trade? He’d know that’s a load of shit. Didn’t he say he went to work for his brother because he needed work after his dad got locked up? Whatever happened to get him in here, think about it dude, he’d be a big help. Not that you’re not great, but he’s been out there, man.”
“And if he says no?” Randy asked.
“Then it’s no big deal.”
Randy raised an eyebrow at his lover. “Are you sure it’d be no big deal? Fuck, if you went up to him about this, he’d probably be scared shitless to say no to you. Look, you already said yourself that you have the operation in Em City, do you really need to drag more people into it.”
“Alright, alright,” John gave in. “We’ll wait to see if Cody comes to us. If he does, well, we’ll accept him with open arms. If he doesn’t, we’ll drop the subject. Ok?”
“That’s all I’m askin,” Randy told him.
They stayed in their pod, talking about nothing special, each man longing to touch or hold the other, but resisting with everything they had. A while had gone by when there was a knock on the door frame. There stood a grinning Chucky. “We got it,” was all he said.
John grinned back. “Good. Let me know when the boys cut it, ok? That way we can… distribute the goods…”
“Done,” he said before he walked off to pass the news along.
“Shit, is all this trouble really worth it?” Randy asked him.
“It is,” John answered. “We have something to hold over everyone. We have this… this pride, this group pride that this brings us. No one can take that from us. We’ve destroyed the competition, even with the troubles we’ve had within our own circle, we still held strong. Not to mention the cash that it brings in.”
Randy had to admit that the cash was nice. The more he sold, the more he made, and he was the best salesman they had, Italian or not. He nodded. “Alright, I see where you’re coming from.”
Upstairs in his pod sat Ted, thumbing through his Bible. It had been a week since he had sex with Cody that first time. And even though he told Cody that he would like to do it again, he had avoided Cody for the better part of that week. Guilt ate at his being for the sins he committed until he finally couldn’t take it any more. He set his book down on his pillow and left his pod. He headed to the guard station where he said, “I need to see Father Mukada.”
The officer browsed the list to make sure the Father was free, and he then shook his head signaling that it was ok for Ted to go.
Ted walked down the stairs and he could feel Cody’s confused eyes on him. He gave him a look in return and bit his pouty lower lip before turning away. He continued out of the unit, with one thought on his mind.
As he approached the Chaplin, he thought back to last Sunday, the very day after he lost his virginity to a man. He sat at the service and it was at that moment that the guilt washed over him. When it was time for communion, he couldn’t go. He went to the service in the first place because it was what he did every Sunday; it was a habit. But never in his life had he felt so guilty about something. While he did feel awful about killing that woman, he felt even worse about the sex. Because he liked it.
He walked inside and saw Father Ray Mukada at his desk. “Hi, Theodore,” the Father greeted him.
He took a deep breath before he said, “I need to make a confession. Please, Father, it’s been eating at me for a week. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Right now?”
Ted’s eyes pleaded with him. “Please.”
“Alright,” Ray said as he stood up to close the door. He pulled up two chairs in front of his desk, backs against each other. He gestured for Ted to sit, and when both men were seated, he said, “You may begin whenever you’re ready.”
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I had lust in my heart. For a man.”
“Did you act upon this lust?”
Ted choked back a sob when he answered, “Yes. Yes, I did.”
“With another inmate?” Ray asked, knowing that the answer had to be yes for the man to be having such a strong reaction.
Ted nodded, even though Ray couldn’t see it. He then whispered, “Yes. Please, forgive me. I don’t know what came over me. I… The Lord says that homosexuality is wrong, and I tried to fight it, but I wasn’t strong enough. Please help me, because as much as I don’t want these feelings, I can’t help but want to do it again.”
“Ted,” Ray began, turning his head around, “it’s not wrong if it’s love.”
The young man was stunned by Ray’s words. He was expecting to be shamed, be told he had to fight the strong feelings he was having, anything but that. He turned his head and saw Father Mukada looking at him. “What?”
“I’ve been working in this prison for a long time. I know what goes on between some of the inmates. I know that I’m supposed to believe that homosexuality is wrong, but I don’t think that. Some men in here only care about sex, and that’s what I think is wrong, be it with a man or a woman. But in some cases… Well, sometimes very real feelings come from it. Sometimes those feelings that develop in here between inmates are deeper than any relationship you would have had on the outside.”
“My entire life I grew up taking each word of the Bible to mean exactly what it says. Why is it here that my feelings came to the forefront? I tried for weeks to resist him, but my resolve weakened with every passing day. I feel like I disgraced-”
“Don’t say that. Ted, you did nothing wrong.” Ray truly believed that, as well. He knew that Ted wasn’t the type of person to run around sticking his dick into anything with legs, unlike some of the people in this prison. From the few conversations that he had with the young man, he knew that he was too religious to do anything out of the blue. He knew that Ted had true feelings for the man he was with, whether he wanted them or not. “Sometimes you just can’t question what the Lord has planned for you.”
“Are you trying to tell me that God sent me here to find the love of my life?” Ted asked, his southern drawl becoming stronger as he grew more confused and upset.
“Stranger things have happened.”
“No… No, dammit! You can’t tell me that I killed a woman because God wanted me to come to realize that I’m gay!”
“Sometimes it takes a tragic event for you to come to this realization in the first place. One life-altering event leads to another,” Father Mukada explained.
“Was this His way of punishing me? Have I been gay all along?” Ted wondered.
“No, no Ted. God wouldn’t make you harm another innocent human being to punish you personally. Don’t you ever think that your drunken mistake was punishment from God for liking men sexually. He doesn’t work that way.”
Ted was pacing around, trying to work out just what was happening to him. He had come here wanting to be forgiven, yet Father Mukada was telling him he had nothing to be forgiven about, because he couldn’t help who he was. He was completely confused. “Are you telling me that it’s ok to want Cody?” he asked, but then realized he let the name of the man of his attractions slip. “Oh, God… Father, you can’t tell anyone.” His eyes were wide with the fear that his confession would get out and people would learn about him and Cody. “Please,” he begged.
“This is an official confession. Nothing you say here can leave this room. I promise. This conversation is between you, me and God. That’s it.”
“Father…” Ted sighed, unsure if he should continue.
“Yes?”
His voice fell quiet as he finished his question, “You think it’s ok for me to love another man?”
Ray placed a hand on the shaken and confused man’s shoulder. “I think it’s ok for you to love. You can’t choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes things just happen. And, Ted, from what I know of you, if you let anything happen in the first place, male or female, then, yes, it’s ok.”
Relief seemed to wash over Ted at that moment. He confessed and… and it was good. It was as if he realized then that God loved all, and that he could still have his relationship with Him because He did care and He created him this way, and that was the way it was meant to be. “Thank you, Father,” Ted said, a smile gracing his lips for the first time in days.
“You’re welcome.”
And with that, Ted left the Chaplin and returned to Em City a new man, a man who finally felt relief and at peace with himself. He entered the unit and spotted Cody leaning against the door frame of John and Randy’s pod.
“Come on, guys, you have to tell me about that. Look, you keep talking about what John did to you then you skirt around the subject.”
John looked to Randy, who shrugged. “You’re a huge help. Alright, we’ll tell…” He let his sentence trail off when he saw who was now standing behind Cody. He jerked his head that way and Cody turned around.
“Hi, Ted,” he said. He didn’t know what Ted was up to. They had such a nice moment together, such an amazing moment, a week ago, and since then, Ted avoided him like the plague. He figured Ted was still in shock, but he still felt hurt at the way Ted normally passed him by without looking.
“Hey, Cody. Hey guys… I’m so sorry, Cody. Please, you have to know that I… I… I’m just really sorry. But, um… I would like to… I want to… Can I join you guys?” he asked, not knowing how to say something to Cody about his feelings.
“Sure,” John answered, happy to have Ted back with them. “We were just telling Cody here about our time in the gym together. See, on his birthday, I gave him a hand job in the shower. I told him that he better not tell anyone-”
“And I didn’t, just for the record,” Randy interjected.
“Anyway, Beecher-”
“He just knew. He said he could tell. It freaked me the fuck out,” Randy admitted.
“And so did Rebadow. He told me that God told him. He has these sporadic conversations with God, I guess. Well, I was convinced Randy told Beecher. For whatever reason… So, I made a deal with a CO to make sure that I could be alone in the gym with Randy for a little while. We shouted at each other… For the first time in my life, I was confused. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had my arm against him, choking him out. And then I kissed him.”
“I pushed him away. I was pissed at him.”
“Then I pulled a shank on him and held him up against the barrier with that shank against his neck. I told him that killing him would send me to death row, and that it could be my blessing.”
“I dared him to do it, too.”
“And then… Then I kissed him again.”
“This time I returned it.”
“And then I fucked him while he was leaning on the bench press bar,” John recalled, that day etched in his memory forever.
“There you have it. Now you know… A little bit of our history together…”
Cody kept looking back and forth between the two men. He had no idea what to expect from that story, but he never thought it would involve John trying to kill Randy. “Shit,” was about all Cody could manage to say at that point. “He just told me that all fags would burn in hell and then we fucked in a storage closet… What do you think, Teddy, our story have anything on theirs?”
Ted snapped out of his daze, still surprised at the ease in which Cody began speaking to him once more. “Nope… Hey, Cody, do you think we could… talk?”
“Yeah, I think that’d be good. Later guys,” Cody said with a wave as he followed Ted out of the pod. “Where to?”
“My pod?” Ted suggested.
“Lead the way.”
Ted took him upstairs to his pod. “Coushaine just got paroled, I mean, I’m sure you heard that, I think everyone in this place heard about that…” Ted said when they entered the empty pod. “Ok… I guess I should say something. Well, I… This morning I went to confession.”
Cody quirked an eyebrow at that statement. “What do you mean you went to confession?”
“Exactly what it sounds like… I-”
“Are you saying you felt guilty about what we did? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you feel dirty and regret that we did anything in the first place?! Fuck you, Ted! I thought you were over that fucking SHIT!” Cody’s anger instantly got the best of him. Normally he was able to control it, but when Ted said those words to him, it stung.
Ted bowed his head and answered, “Please, Cody, let me explain. Sit down and just listen to me. Please, that’s all I ask.”
Cody sighed and took a seat on the bed. “Alright, I’ll listen.”
Ted leaned back against the sink and his he looked around the room as he began. “I thought that after we… Well, I thought that I could handle it. But I was wrong. For this past week it’s been eating me up from the inside. Cody, I grew up my entire life thinking one way and one way only; I can’t just change everything overnight. Trust me, I really tried. I did. When we left that room, I wanted nothing more than to do it again and again, because it felt so good, so right being there with you. But the rest of the day, the more time I spent away from you, the more I couldn’t believe I actually did what I did.
“You have to know that I never meant to treat you like shit. But I did, because I wasn’t strong enough to get over it. That’s why I had to go to confession today. I couldn’t carry this around with me anymore. It was just getting to be too much. I wanted to be forgiven for what I had done, for the sins I had partaken in.
“I told Father Mukada that I acted upon the lust in my heart for you, with you, and… And what he said to me, well… He…” Ted looked down to Cody who was looking up at him with his big, blue eyes. “He said that, if those feelings were real, then the act we committed wasn’t a sin, but actually an act… of love.”
A smile grew on Cody’s face at Ted’s words and he stood up and closed the distance between them. His hand reached out and took Ted’s and he ran his thumb over the knuckles. He didn’t break the eye contact he had made since he was on the bed. “Ted, do you really mean that?” Cody could hardly believe the words that Ted had been saying. Love? Father Mukada had actually told Ted that?
“He said to me that he knew because of my faith that I wouldn’t act out of lust… That I wasn’t one to make a decision without something real behind it…”
“Teddy, what do you think? Do you think it was real?” He searched Ted’s eyes, wanting to find an answer.
“I…” He began to smile as he thought about what was being asked. “Yeah.”
Cody couldn’t stop his grinning. “Good, because I’ve never had to try so hard to get into anyone’s pants.” Ted’s face dropped, but before he could say anything, Cody started up again. “Don’t be a little shit, because after what you said to me on day two and I still wanted you? You know there had to be something there. It is true, though, I’ve never had to hold off for so long to get laid, Mr. Hard to Get.”
“This seems so unreal… Cody, we’re in prison. Is it normal to, to fall in love with someone in prison?”
“Fuck if I know…” Cody glanced around outside and didn’t see anyone looking their way. He leaned in and placed a light kiss on Ted’s lips. “Shit, one week is too long to go without you,” he whispered.
“Tell me, please, before we do anything else, just tell me how you feel.”
“You want me to tell you that, somehow, amazingly, you got me to fall in love with you? Teddy, you’re the first person I’ve ever had actual feelings for. We’ve only known each other a short while, and maybe it’s the close quarters or the knowing that we’ll be with each other in here for years to come, but fuck, I love you,” Cody said to him, amazed with the words that were coming out of his mouth, mostly because they were all true. He had fallen for Teddy, all differences aside.
“So, Cody…” Ted started, looking out of his pod, “what are we supposed to do now?”
“If this were anywhere else, we’d probably run to each other’s arms and fall to the bed in a passionate kiss, then make sweet love. But, yeah, that won’t work out so well.”
“John and Randy got to move in with each other…”
“Why, Ted, are you suggesting we try and move in together? So soon?”
Ted shrugged and blushed at his own suggestion. “Well, I guess we could always go back to the, umm, library if you don’t wanna…”
“How about this: we go to the library,” Cody accentuated library with air quotes, “for a while, then we see what we can do about getting a pod together, ok?”
“Sounds real romantic.”
“I do what I can.”
The following day, Tim McManus found himself in Warden Leo Glynn’s office discussing a new potential inmate to Emerald City. “Tim,” Leo began, “I’d like to bring him into Em City.”
Tim looked over the man’s file and gave Leo a concerned look. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s got history with Orton, fuck, Leo, you remember what happened the last time we brought someone into Em City who had a past with another inmate.”
“O’Reily and Ortolani.”
“Yeah, and incase you forgot, Ortolani ended up set on fucking FIRE! ALIVE!”
“O’Reiley wasn’t the one who-”
“So what, he might not have been the one that lit the match, but he was the one that set the whole fucking thing in motion. You know it, Leo. It can only end badly for everyone if you put this guy in my unit,” Tim stated.
“Well, that’s too bad, because you’re getting him.”
Tim grumbled, but knew there was nothing he could say to overturn Leo’s word. “Fine. I wanted to run the idea by you to see if I could mix up my unit more. You know, try and get more interaction between the groups. It worked really well with Cena and Orton, and Beecher and Schibetta are getting along as well as Schibetta can get along with anyone, and while that’s not saying much, it’s something.”
“It’s your unit,” Leo said.
“So, you’re telling me that if I want to move a gay and a Christian in together, that’ll be fine?”
“As long as there are no riots and no one ends up dead, I don’t give a fuck what you do in your unit. Just use your common sense in this move, ok? No Aryans with Muslims, right?”
“Do you think I’m that much of a dumbass? No, I’ve been watching people, and Leo, there are bonds forming between them.”
“So, are you saying that your brain child is living up to all its expectations?”
“With a little more time, I think it will be.”
“Are you sure it’s smart to let them grow closer? If there are two strong people from groups together, think of the damage it could cause in the long run.”
“But, Leo, think of what could happen if things work out. Just think about it.” A far off look overcame Tim’s face when he spoke of his dream prison. To many people, his obsession seemed like an odd one: the perfect prison, but this had become Tim’s life. His marriage failed, he couldn’t hold down a relationship with anyone, and it was all because of the work he poured into Emerald City.
“Alright, I admit that it could be a real good thing. But you know as well as anyone that shit can get out of control if you don’t watch them. I’m sure you remember getting shot in the riot.”
“That’s a fuckin hard thing to forget. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”
“Ok. You can go now. Oh, your new inmate will be arriving later today.”
“Thanks, Leo.”
“You’re welcome.”
Tim walked out of the office and down towards Em City. He stopped in his office and looked over his files, trying to figure out which inmates to move in together. It was time for change around here. And he had to do what he could in keeping Orton away from the new inmate. He made his arrangements and scrawled them out on a piece of paper which he attached to his clipboard.
He headed out to the guard station where he stood along the balcony. “Everybody!” he shouted, getting people’s attention. They all began to shuffle around closer to him, since when McManus spoke, as much as you didn’t want to, you listened. “Alright, I’ve decided to make some changes with your pod assignments! After seeing how well things have been working out between different groups, as shown by Orton and Cena-”
“That’s because they’re fucking!” one of the bikers yelled, resulting in a round of laughter.
“Shut the fuck up,” John said, a threatening look in his eyes.
“Fuck you, Cena!” Jaz Hoyt said to him.
“Everyone, be fucking quiet!” McManus shouted, causing the ruckus to quiet down. “Alright, I’ve been observing all of you, and have decided it’s time to shake things up. Since Coushaine just got paroled, that leaves DiBiase’s pod open, so I’ve decided to move Runnels in there.” Cody looked next to him where Ted was standing, his mouth gaping. Neither of them could believe what they were hearing. Tim McManus was actually putting them together in a pod without them asking first? It was like their wish had come true, and McManus didn’t even know it. “And moving in with Jones is Meaney.”
“Sucks for you, buddy, moving in with a fag,” Ryan said to fellow Irish inmate Liam Meaney.
“I’m also moving Guerra in with Tidd and Redding in with Morales. We’ll see how things work out with this, and if all goes well, you can expect more changes in the next few weeks. You can all grab your things and move rooms now. And I also need Cena and Orton to come to my office.” And with that, he left and turned back towards his office.
“Holy shit,” Cody muttered as he and Ted walked over to his pod to begin gathering his scarce belongings. “I wasn’t expecting that one…” They entered the pod, soon joined by Henry. “Have fun with Liam,” Cody said, earning nothing but a glare from Henry. “Sorry.” He began pulling the sheets off of his bed, which he bunched up and tucked into his arm.
“Want some help?” Ted offered. “It’s the least I can do for my new roomie,” he added with a grin.
Grinning back, Cody picked up his laundry bag, half filled with his dirty clothes, and shoved it into Ted’s arms. “Thanks, man, you’re a real pal.”
“You suck.”
“That I do, my friend, that I do.”
Ted just about dropped the laundry bag right there. “I didn’t mean… Not like… I mean…”
“You’re so cute when you’re all flustered,” Cody told him. “Don’t you think so, Henry?”
“I think he’s cute flustered or not.”
The blush rose even further on Ted’s face, and it was now a deep shade of red. “Alright, we’ll back off the teasing, ok Teddy?” Ted didn’t say anything, but the blush remained on his face. Cody looked around and figured he had everything he came in with, which wasn’t much. “Ok, well, later Henry.”
“Before you go, think I could ask you something? Alone,” he added looking right at Ted.
“Sure,” Cody answered, also looking over to Ted.
“Alright, I’ll go bring this upstairs, I guess…”
“Yeah, I’ll be right there. Thanks again.” They watched Ted leave and then Cody turned back, his hands on his hips and eyebrow raised. “What?”
“Why is McManus moving you in with him? I know you two have been talking, but he’s a Christian. Is he trying to convert you?” Henry asked, rolling his eyes at the absurdity of the thought of anyone trying to change someone from being gay.
“Fuck no. Last time he even tried suggesting something like that he ended up getting a right hook in the fuckin’ face. I guess we just get along well, is all… Really well,” he said with a grin.
“Cody, you don’t have a crush on him, do you? He’s a Bible thumper, you don’t have a chance.”
Cody grabbed his sheets and piled on the rest of his few belongings and walked backwards out of the pod, still grinning at Henry. “I guess you just don’t know him as well as I do.” He then turned around and headed up the stairs to his new pod. Ted stood there holding the door open for him and he dumped the pile of things onto his bed, which was, he noted, the top bunk. “Oh, you’re letting me take the top?”
“Didn’t feel like changing my things around. Besides, you’ve been in here longer…”
“By, what? A week?”
“Yeah, well, it works, right?”
“It does.” Cody looked around, unsure of what to do with his other things while he made up his bed. “Umm, do you mind if I put my shit down there for a bit?”
“Go for it.”
Cody separated all his things from his sheets and he began to make his bed. He could feel Ted’s eyes on him the whole time, and it made him feel good knowing that it was him having that affect on Ted. “Alright, all done. I guess I should put all my things away…”
“Guess so…”
Instead Cody climbed up into the top bunk and laid himself down, resting his head on the pillow. “There’s time to do that before lights out… Right now I want to bask in the new environment.”
“Yeah, welcome to the marvelous 2nd floor of Oswald.”
“What a view… I wonder what McManus wanted to see John and Randy for. Maybe it had something to do with that comment Jaz made about them fucking.”
Ted shrugged. “I dunno. You don’t think he’s moving one of them to a different unit, do you? I thought I heard something about John being in charge of the drug operation here.”
“Yeah, he is. Just don’t tell McManus you know that, ok? Cuz while I’m sure McManus knows what’s going on, all he needs is a little bit of proof and he’ll have a raid…” Cody shook his head as the memories of the raid he was caught in all came back to him.
“Hey, man, don’t worry about it,” Ted told him, moving in closer. He brought a hand up to Cody’s head and let his fingers tangle in his hair.
“Teddy, could you hand me that photo album?” Cody asked as he sat up. Ted’s hand slid from Cody’s hair to his shoulder and over his back as Cody moved. He then stepped back and glanced over Cody’s small pile of belongings before he handed him the album that his mother brought in for him on the second day of his imprisonment. Cody shifted so his legs were now hanging over the side of the bed. He pat the spot next to him, asking Ted to join him. “I know you’ve seen my dad and brother, but I want you to see the rest of my family.”
Ted grinned and hopped up on the bed, leaning in to Cody’s body as they browsed the pictures that flooded Cody with memories and introduced Ted to a whole new side of his new pod mate.
Chapter 3 part 2
Also, a link to Chapter 2
The day was just like every other day in Oswald State Correctional Facility (Level 4); the inmates were woken up, counted, sent to breakfast, brought to their work assignment, fed lunch, then escorted back into Emerald City where the rest of their day (and night) was monitored by correctional officers. However, there was one slight difference: it was a shipment day.
John was in the corner under the stairs talking to his business partner Chucky Pancamo. “You worked out where the tits are comin’ in?” John asked.
“Everything’s settled.”
“Good. You ain’t heard nothin’ comin’ from any of the hacks, right? No talk of a raid, or some shit like that? Cuz that’s the last fuckin thing we need, especially on the day we’re gettin’ the shit in.”
“I know. But don’t worry, we’ll be good with this one. You know, I seen you talkin’ to that little fag-”
“Cody,” John corrected him.
“Ok, talkin’ to Cody, whatever. But he used to deal, right? You been talkin’ business with him, or have you just been lettin’ him suck your dick?” Chucky asked, sticking his chin out as he tilted his head back slightly.
“Fuck you, I don’t need him suckin’ my dick. And I may have discussed a little business with him, askin’ him about how he worked the clubs and shit, but I never brought up a possible partnership with us.” John heard footsteps approaching and instantly changed the subject, not knowing if it was a fellow inmate or a CO. “Yeah, I miss my girl back home,” he lied, first about the fact that he had a girl back home, and second, the fact that even if he did have one, he certainly wouldn’t be missing her. Not now that he had Randy.
“I know what you mean,” Chucky continued with the story, “my wife hasn’t been visitin’ here as much.”
“Hey, boys,” Officer Murphy said as he rounded the corner. This stairwell was the most unguarded area in all of Em City. In raids and even just regular daily patrols, officers and drug dogs found traces of drugs of all sort on the floor and on any other flat surface back there. “What brings you two back here, of all places?” he asked them with a raise of his eyebrow.
“Just talkin’ about our girls back home,” John told him.
“I thought you were single, Cena.”
“Just cuz I never put a rock on some chick’s finger don’t mean I ain’t got a girl, officer. Besides, Murph, who was ever limiting it to one?” John added with a wink.
“You’re quite the joker, aren’t you, Cena?”
“I do what I can. Someone’s gotta keep the morale up in this shit hole, am I right?” John asked, walking past Sean Murphy, patting him on the back of the shoulder as he passed.
Randy was sitting at a table playing checkers with Ryan O’Reily, waiting for John to finish his conversation with Chucky. Randy squinted at the man sitting at him across the table when he got yet another king. “You’re cheating, O’Reily,” Randy declared.
“Prove it,” Ryan said, his cocky confidence shining through his statement. “You’ve been watching me the whole time, haven’t you? How could I, of all people, be cheating?”
“Fuck, you just proved it yourself. You, of all people, would cheat their way through anything.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Orton. Shit, you’re just like me, you sneaky bastard.”
Randy smirked at Ryan’s words and the fact that he was able to jump a chain of Ryan’s pieces to get himself a king. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He turned his head when he felt a familiar hand clasp his shoulder. John pulled up a chair, flipped it around and once again straddled it as he watched the checker game progress. “Hey, John.”
“Hey. O’Reily cheatin’ again?” he asked when he saw Randy’s red checkers far out numbered by Ryan’s black ones.
“How come everyone just assumes that I’m cheating?”
“Probably because you are,” Tobias said as he walked past the table.
“Hey, fuck you, Beecher,” Ryan shouted back to him, his head following the other man’s path. He turned his attention back to the board and looked it over. He was able to jump Randy’s only king, wiping him off the board. “I win.”
“There’s no way you shoulda won that, you asshole.”
“Hey, all that matters is that I got the W, right? Doesn’t matter how I got it,” Ryan said with a smirk. As if he didn’t say everything with a smirk.
“Bastard.”
“Maybe you should try playing with Rebadow or Busmalis next time. Or Hill. At least if you lost as miserably to them as you did to me, you’d know you just suck. No cheating required.” Ryan stood up from the table and told them, “Goodbye, my friends, I gotta go find my brother before he gets himself into trouble.”
That brother he was talking about was Cyril, his younger brother. Several years back he became mentally handicapped during a fight at a funeral home. Ryan blamed himself for the events, since he was the one that was fucking that guy’s girlfriend, and it was him that that guy was after, Cyril was just there in his defense. If anyone should have gotten hurt in that fight, it was him. So now he had to do everything in his power to protect his little brother, his little brother that would forever have the mental capacity of a seven year old.
Randy and John waved and said, “See ya,” as he left.
“I really do suck at checkers, don’t I?” Randy said, examining the board, which was filled with nearly all of Ryan’s pieces while none of his were left.
“Yeah… You really do. It’s just not your thing. Which is why I love playing you in it,” John joked.
“You know what? You’re an asshole, too. So, what where you talking to Chucky about?”
“The weather,” John answered, the sarcasm obvious. John stood up and began walking to his pod, and Randy followed, leaving the board set up as they left it.
“So, he take care of the tits?”
“Yup, at least that’s what he tells me.” John kicked off his shoes and climbed up to his bed where he promptly laid down. “You got people comin’ up to you yet?”
“Yeah, shit,” Randy said as he moved in close to stand against John’s bed, “got people comin’ up to me all the time. They’re itchin’ for the next shipment, man. I don’t know if all this waiting is good or bad for business.” Randy glanced around and, when he didn’t see anyone outside, placed a gentle hand on John’s shoulder.
“Who the fuck else are they gonna go to? O’Reily? Nah, he sells tits on the side, but it’s not enough. The spicks? They ain’t been in the game since before you got here. And don’t even get me started on what a joke the Homeboys have become. They used to be legit competition, too. And, Randy, that’s all we got. When we have the tits, we sell ‘em, and we’re in high demand at all times.”
“So, what the fuck was the issue with the last shipment?” Randy asked, as he hadn’t been clued into this part of the operation. He and John were close, and he and John knew a lot about each other, but John never once told him how the tits were getting into Oz, and Randy figured it’d be that way for the rest of his stay in the prison.
“Guy on the other end didn’t come through.” John smirked when he said, “The new guy shouldn’t cause as many problems…”
Randy thought he knew where that was going, but he had to ask, “You got a new guy?”
John answered, the same sick smile on his face, “Well, the old guy can’t do dick when he’s at the bottom of the Hudson River, now can he?”
“You whacked a guy cuz he didn’t come through on a drug deal?”
“Randy, we have a business to run here. We can’t have all these glitches in the system. Besides, if we let this guy off for completely fucking us up, it’d send a bad message to everyone else working with us on the outside and the inside.”
Randy’s hand snaked up from John’s shoulder to his neck and finally rested on the top of his head, his fingers moving back and forth slightly. “I guess I better not fuck up, then.”
“Guess not. But, uh… I think you’d be pretty safe,” John told him, his voice terribly quiet. “Unless, of course, you fuck up royally.”
Randy couldn’t help but give a small smile at the words John had just spoken. The fact that he had some guy whacked for missing a delivery made John’s words even more special. “Alright, I can try.” He looked down at John, and despite their banter and their joking, his eyes grew sad. He wanted to do nothing more than bend his head down and kiss this man that had become his lover, but there was no way he could do it, not in the light of their cell when anyone could walk by. Sure there were rumours circulating that they were fucking each other, and while they were obviously true, each man denied everything, as they both had a reputation to uphold around the place. He mouthed the words, “Wanna kiss you,” to John, whose smile grew on his face, bringing out his dimples.
John didn’t smile like that often, since the dimples weren’t really his thing. But he couldn’t help himself most of the time when he was around Randy. Somehow, Randy always got him to smile. He knew just what to say and the right time to say it. “Me too,” John mouthed back. Sighing, knowing they couldn’t do anything about that, he sat up, breaking out of Randy’s touch. “Anyway,” John said, going back to business mode, “Chucky said something interesting…”
“What did Chucky say that was oh so interesting?”
“Cody.”
Randy shook his head, “I thought we talked about that? Didn’t we decide to not bring him into this?”
“I know, I know, but he’s got mad experience. The only reason he even got caught was because there was a bust in the club he was working that night.”
“McManus and Glynn know we’re around him all the time. And they know that you have something to do with the drug trade in this place. And let’s not forget that they know damn well just why Cody’s in here in the first place. John, look, we can’t go approaching him to do this. The kid doesn’t have that much time in here, not compared to us. He still has a chance to get out and have a life.”
“When did you become a motivational speaker?”
“Since I became the poster child for Sister Pete’s sessions. She believes that, with a few more meetings, we’ll have cracked through the surface of my anger issues.” Randy shrugged as John shook his head and chuckled. Sister Peter-Marie Raimundo was the prison’s resident nun and psychiatrist, and she was well respected amongst the inmates. She was always one to look on the bright side of things, always looking for hope in that hopeless cause. “But, in all seriousness, I really don’t know about approaching Cody to join in with us. It just seems too risky.”
“What if he approaches us?”
“Why would he do that?”
“Maybe he wants to make some extra green. So, if he comes to us, what do we say? That we have nothing to do with the drug trade? He’d know that’s a load of shit. Didn’t he say he went to work for his brother because he needed work after his dad got locked up? Whatever happened to get him in here, think about it dude, he’d be a big help. Not that you’re not great, but he’s been out there, man.”
“And if he says no?” Randy asked.
“Then it’s no big deal.”
Randy raised an eyebrow at his lover. “Are you sure it’d be no big deal? Fuck, if you went up to him about this, he’d probably be scared shitless to say no to you. Look, you already said yourself that you have the operation in Em City, do you really need to drag more people into it.”
“Alright, alright,” John gave in. “We’ll wait to see if Cody comes to us. If he does, well, we’ll accept him with open arms. If he doesn’t, we’ll drop the subject. Ok?”
“That’s all I’m askin,” Randy told him.
They stayed in their pod, talking about nothing special, each man longing to touch or hold the other, but resisting with everything they had. A while had gone by when there was a knock on the door frame. There stood a grinning Chucky. “We got it,” was all he said.
John grinned back. “Good. Let me know when the boys cut it, ok? That way we can… distribute the goods…”
“Done,” he said before he walked off to pass the news along.
“Shit, is all this trouble really worth it?” Randy asked him.
“It is,” John answered. “We have something to hold over everyone. We have this… this pride, this group pride that this brings us. No one can take that from us. We’ve destroyed the competition, even with the troubles we’ve had within our own circle, we still held strong. Not to mention the cash that it brings in.”
Randy had to admit that the cash was nice. The more he sold, the more he made, and he was the best salesman they had, Italian or not. He nodded. “Alright, I see where you’re coming from.”
Upstairs in his pod sat Ted, thumbing through his Bible. It had been a week since he had sex with Cody that first time. And even though he told Cody that he would like to do it again, he had avoided Cody for the better part of that week. Guilt ate at his being for the sins he committed until he finally couldn’t take it any more. He set his book down on his pillow and left his pod. He headed to the guard station where he said, “I need to see Father Mukada.”
The officer browsed the list to make sure the Father was free, and he then shook his head signaling that it was ok for Ted to go.
Ted walked down the stairs and he could feel Cody’s confused eyes on him. He gave him a look in return and bit his pouty lower lip before turning away. He continued out of the unit, with one thought on his mind.
As he approached the Chaplin, he thought back to last Sunday, the very day after he lost his virginity to a man. He sat at the service and it was at that moment that the guilt washed over him. When it was time for communion, he couldn’t go. He went to the service in the first place because it was what he did every Sunday; it was a habit. But never in his life had he felt so guilty about something. While he did feel awful about killing that woman, he felt even worse about the sex. Because he liked it.
He walked inside and saw Father Ray Mukada at his desk. “Hi, Theodore,” the Father greeted him.
He took a deep breath before he said, “I need to make a confession. Please, Father, it’s been eating at me for a week. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Right now?”
Ted’s eyes pleaded with him. “Please.”
“Alright,” Ray said as he stood up to close the door. He pulled up two chairs in front of his desk, backs against each other. He gestured for Ted to sit, and when both men were seated, he said, “You may begin whenever you’re ready.”
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I had lust in my heart. For a man.”
“Did you act upon this lust?”
Ted choked back a sob when he answered, “Yes. Yes, I did.”
“With another inmate?” Ray asked, knowing that the answer had to be yes for the man to be having such a strong reaction.
Ted nodded, even though Ray couldn’t see it. He then whispered, “Yes. Please, forgive me. I don’t know what came over me. I… The Lord says that homosexuality is wrong, and I tried to fight it, but I wasn’t strong enough. Please help me, because as much as I don’t want these feelings, I can’t help but want to do it again.”
“Ted,” Ray began, turning his head around, “it’s not wrong if it’s love.”
The young man was stunned by Ray’s words. He was expecting to be shamed, be told he had to fight the strong feelings he was having, anything but that. He turned his head and saw Father Mukada looking at him. “What?”
“I’ve been working in this prison for a long time. I know what goes on between some of the inmates. I know that I’m supposed to believe that homosexuality is wrong, but I don’t think that. Some men in here only care about sex, and that’s what I think is wrong, be it with a man or a woman. But in some cases… Well, sometimes very real feelings come from it. Sometimes those feelings that develop in here between inmates are deeper than any relationship you would have had on the outside.”
“My entire life I grew up taking each word of the Bible to mean exactly what it says. Why is it here that my feelings came to the forefront? I tried for weeks to resist him, but my resolve weakened with every passing day. I feel like I disgraced-”
“Don’t say that. Ted, you did nothing wrong.” Ray truly believed that, as well. He knew that Ted wasn’t the type of person to run around sticking his dick into anything with legs, unlike some of the people in this prison. From the few conversations that he had with the young man, he knew that he was too religious to do anything out of the blue. He knew that Ted had true feelings for the man he was with, whether he wanted them or not. “Sometimes you just can’t question what the Lord has planned for you.”
“Are you trying to tell me that God sent me here to find the love of my life?” Ted asked, his southern drawl becoming stronger as he grew more confused and upset.
“Stranger things have happened.”
“No… No, dammit! You can’t tell me that I killed a woman because God wanted me to come to realize that I’m gay!”
“Sometimes it takes a tragic event for you to come to this realization in the first place. One life-altering event leads to another,” Father Mukada explained.
“Was this His way of punishing me? Have I been gay all along?” Ted wondered.
“No, no Ted. God wouldn’t make you harm another innocent human being to punish you personally. Don’t you ever think that your drunken mistake was punishment from God for liking men sexually. He doesn’t work that way.”
Ted was pacing around, trying to work out just what was happening to him. He had come here wanting to be forgiven, yet Father Mukada was telling him he had nothing to be forgiven about, because he couldn’t help who he was. He was completely confused. “Are you telling me that it’s ok to want Cody?” he asked, but then realized he let the name of the man of his attractions slip. “Oh, God… Father, you can’t tell anyone.” His eyes were wide with the fear that his confession would get out and people would learn about him and Cody. “Please,” he begged.
“This is an official confession. Nothing you say here can leave this room. I promise. This conversation is between you, me and God. That’s it.”
“Father…” Ted sighed, unsure if he should continue.
“Yes?”
His voice fell quiet as he finished his question, “You think it’s ok for me to love another man?”
Ray placed a hand on the shaken and confused man’s shoulder. “I think it’s ok for you to love. You can’t choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes things just happen. And, Ted, from what I know of you, if you let anything happen in the first place, male or female, then, yes, it’s ok.”
Relief seemed to wash over Ted at that moment. He confessed and… and it was good. It was as if he realized then that God loved all, and that he could still have his relationship with Him because He did care and He created him this way, and that was the way it was meant to be. “Thank you, Father,” Ted said, a smile gracing his lips for the first time in days.
“You’re welcome.”
And with that, Ted left the Chaplin and returned to Em City a new man, a man who finally felt relief and at peace with himself. He entered the unit and spotted Cody leaning against the door frame of John and Randy’s pod.
“Come on, guys, you have to tell me about that. Look, you keep talking about what John did to you then you skirt around the subject.”
John looked to Randy, who shrugged. “You’re a huge help. Alright, we’ll tell…” He let his sentence trail off when he saw who was now standing behind Cody. He jerked his head that way and Cody turned around.
“Hi, Ted,” he said. He didn’t know what Ted was up to. They had such a nice moment together, such an amazing moment, a week ago, and since then, Ted avoided him like the plague. He figured Ted was still in shock, but he still felt hurt at the way Ted normally passed him by without looking.
“Hey, Cody. Hey guys… I’m so sorry, Cody. Please, you have to know that I… I… I’m just really sorry. But, um… I would like to… I want to… Can I join you guys?” he asked, not knowing how to say something to Cody about his feelings.
“Sure,” John answered, happy to have Ted back with them. “We were just telling Cody here about our time in the gym together. See, on his birthday, I gave him a hand job in the shower. I told him that he better not tell anyone-”
“And I didn’t, just for the record,” Randy interjected.
“Anyway, Beecher-”
“He just knew. He said he could tell. It freaked me the fuck out,” Randy admitted.
“And so did Rebadow. He told me that God told him. He has these sporadic conversations with God, I guess. Well, I was convinced Randy told Beecher. For whatever reason… So, I made a deal with a CO to make sure that I could be alone in the gym with Randy for a little while. We shouted at each other… For the first time in my life, I was confused. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had my arm against him, choking him out. And then I kissed him.”
“I pushed him away. I was pissed at him.”
“Then I pulled a shank on him and held him up against the barrier with that shank against his neck. I told him that killing him would send me to death row, and that it could be my blessing.”
“I dared him to do it, too.”
“And then… Then I kissed him again.”
“This time I returned it.”
“And then I fucked him while he was leaning on the bench press bar,” John recalled, that day etched in his memory forever.
“There you have it. Now you know… A little bit of our history together…”
Cody kept looking back and forth between the two men. He had no idea what to expect from that story, but he never thought it would involve John trying to kill Randy. “Shit,” was about all Cody could manage to say at that point. “He just told me that all fags would burn in hell and then we fucked in a storage closet… What do you think, Teddy, our story have anything on theirs?”
Ted snapped out of his daze, still surprised at the ease in which Cody began speaking to him once more. “Nope… Hey, Cody, do you think we could… talk?”
“Yeah, I think that’d be good. Later guys,” Cody said with a wave as he followed Ted out of the pod. “Where to?”
“My pod?” Ted suggested.
“Lead the way.”
Ted took him upstairs to his pod. “Coushaine just got paroled, I mean, I’m sure you heard that, I think everyone in this place heard about that…” Ted said when they entered the empty pod. “Ok… I guess I should say something. Well, I… This morning I went to confession.”
Cody quirked an eyebrow at that statement. “What do you mean you went to confession?”
“Exactly what it sounds like… I-”
“Are you saying you felt guilty about what we did? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you feel dirty and regret that we did anything in the first place?! Fuck you, Ted! I thought you were over that fucking SHIT!” Cody’s anger instantly got the best of him. Normally he was able to control it, but when Ted said those words to him, it stung.
Ted bowed his head and answered, “Please, Cody, let me explain. Sit down and just listen to me. Please, that’s all I ask.”
Cody sighed and took a seat on the bed. “Alright, I’ll listen.”
Ted leaned back against the sink and his he looked around the room as he began. “I thought that after we… Well, I thought that I could handle it. But I was wrong. For this past week it’s been eating me up from the inside. Cody, I grew up my entire life thinking one way and one way only; I can’t just change everything overnight. Trust me, I really tried. I did. When we left that room, I wanted nothing more than to do it again and again, because it felt so good, so right being there with you. But the rest of the day, the more time I spent away from you, the more I couldn’t believe I actually did what I did.
“You have to know that I never meant to treat you like shit. But I did, because I wasn’t strong enough to get over it. That’s why I had to go to confession today. I couldn’t carry this around with me anymore. It was just getting to be too much. I wanted to be forgiven for what I had done, for the sins I had partaken in.
“I told Father Mukada that I acted upon the lust in my heart for you, with you, and… And what he said to me, well… He…” Ted looked down to Cody who was looking up at him with his big, blue eyes. “He said that, if those feelings were real, then the act we committed wasn’t a sin, but actually an act… of love.”
A smile grew on Cody’s face at Ted’s words and he stood up and closed the distance between them. His hand reached out and took Ted’s and he ran his thumb over the knuckles. He didn’t break the eye contact he had made since he was on the bed. “Ted, do you really mean that?” Cody could hardly believe the words that Ted had been saying. Love? Father Mukada had actually told Ted that?
“He said to me that he knew because of my faith that I wouldn’t act out of lust… That I wasn’t one to make a decision without something real behind it…”
“Teddy, what do you think? Do you think it was real?” He searched Ted’s eyes, wanting to find an answer.
“I…” He began to smile as he thought about what was being asked. “Yeah.”
Cody couldn’t stop his grinning. “Good, because I’ve never had to try so hard to get into anyone’s pants.” Ted’s face dropped, but before he could say anything, Cody started up again. “Don’t be a little shit, because after what you said to me on day two and I still wanted you? You know there had to be something there. It is true, though, I’ve never had to hold off for so long to get laid, Mr. Hard to Get.”
“This seems so unreal… Cody, we’re in prison. Is it normal to, to fall in love with someone in prison?”
“Fuck if I know…” Cody glanced around outside and didn’t see anyone looking their way. He leaned in and placed a light kiss on Ted’s lips. “Shit, one week is too long to go without you,” he whispered.
“Tell me, please, before we do anything else, just tell me how you feel.”
“You want me to tell you that, somehow, amazingly, you got me to fall in love with you? Teddy, you’re the first person I’ve ever had actual feelings for. We’ve only known each other a short while, and maybe it’s the close quarters or the knowing that we’ll be with each other in here for years to come, but fuck, I love you,” Cody said to him, amazed with the words that were coming out of his mouth, mostly because they were all true. He had fallen for Teddy, all differences aside.
“So, Cody…” Ted started, looking out of his pod, “what are we supposed to do now?”
“If this were anywhere else, we’d probably run to each other’s arms and fall to the bed in a passionate kiss, then make sweet love. But, yeah, that won’t work out so well.”
“John and Randy got to move in with each other…”
“Why, Ted, are you suggesting we try and move in together? So soon?”
Ted shrugged and blushed at his own suggestion. “Well, I guess we could always go back to the, umm, library if you don’t wanna…”
“How about this: we go to the library,” Cody accentuated library with air quotes, “for a while, then we see what we can do about getting a pod together, ok?”
“Sounds real romantic.”
“I do what I can.”
The following day, Tim McManus found himself in Warden Leo Glynn’s office discussing a new potential inmate to Emerald City. “Tim,” Leo began, “I’d like to bring him into Em City.”
Tim looked over the man’s file and gave Leo a concerned look. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s got history with Orton, fuck, Leo, you remember what happened the last time we brought someone into Em City who had a past with another inmate.”
“O’Reily and Ortolani.”
“Yeah, and incase you forgot, Ortolani ended up set on fucking FIRE! ALIVE!”
“O’Reiley wasn’t the one who-”
“So what, he might not have been the one that lit the match, but he was the one that set the whole fucking thing in motion. You know it, Leo. It can only end badly for everyone if you put this guy in my unit,” Tim stated.
“Well, that’s too bad, because you’re getting him.”
Tim grumbled, but knew there was nothing he could say to overturn Leo’s word. “Fine. I wanted to run the idea by you to see if I could mix up my unit more. You know, try and get more interaction between the groups. It worked really well with Cena and Orton, and Beecher and Schibetta are getting along as well as Schibetta can get along with anyone, and while that’s not saying much, it’s something.”
“It’s your unit,” Leo said.
“So, you’re telling me that if I want to move a gay and a Christian in together, that’ll be fine?”
“As long as there are no riots and no one ends up dead, I don’t give a fuck what you do in your unit. Just use your common sense in this move, ok? No Aryans with Muslims, right?”
“Do you think I’m that much of a dumbass? No, I’ve been watching people, and Leo, there are bonds forming between them.”
“So, are you saying that your brain child is living up to all its expectations?”
“With a little more time, I think it will be.”
“Are you sure it’s smart to let them grow closer? If there are two strong people from groups together, think of the damage it could cause in the long run.”
“But, Leo, think of what could happen if things work out. Just think about it.” A far off look overcame Tim’s face when he spoke of his dream prison. To many people, his obsession seemed like an odd one: the perfect prison, but this had become Tim’s life. His marriage failed, he couldn’t hold down a relationship with anyone, and it was all because of the work he poured into Emerald City.
“Alright, I admit that it could be a real good thing. But you know as well as anyone that shit can get out of control if you don’t watch them. I’m sure you remember getting shot in the riot.”
“That’s a fuckin hard thing to forget. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”
“Ok. You can go now. Oh, your new inmate will be arriving later today.”
“Thanks, Leo.”
“You’re welcome.”
Tim walked out of the office and down towards Em City. He stopped in his office and looked over his files, trying to figure out which inmates to move in together. It was time for change around here. And he had to do what he could in keeping Orton away from the new inmate. He made his arrangements and scrawled them out on a piece of paper which he attached to his clipboard.
He headed out to the guard station where he stood along the balcony. “Everybody!” he shouted, getting people’s attention. They all began to shuffle around closer to him, since when McManus spoke, as much as you didn’t want to, you listened. “Alright, I’ve decided to make some changes with your pod assignments! After seeing how well things have been working out between different groups, as shown by Orton and Cena-”
“That’s because they’re fucking!” one of the bikers yelled, resulting in a round of laughter.
“Shut the fuck up,” John said, a threatening look in his eyes.
“Fuck you, Cena!” Jaz Hoyt said to him.
“Everyone, be fucking quiet!” McManus shouted, causing the ruckus to quiet down. “Alright, I’ve been observing all of you, and have decided it’s time to shake things up. Since Coushaine just got paroled, that leaves DiBiase’s pod open, so I’ve decided to move Runnels in there.” Cody looked next to him where Ted was standing, his mouth gaping. Neither of them could believe what they were hearing. Tim McManus was actually putting them together in a pod without them asking first? It was like their wish had come true, and McManus didn’t even know it. “And moving in with Jones is Meaney.”
“Sucks for you, buddy, moving in with a fag,” Ryan said to fellow Irish inmate Liam Meaney.
“I’m also moving Guerra in with Tidd and Redding in with Morales. We’ll see how things work out with this, and if all goes well, you can expect more changes in the next few weeks. You can all grab your things and move rooms now. And I also need Cena and Orton to come to my office.” And with that, he left and turned back towards his office.
“Holy shit,” Cody muttered as he and Ted walked over to his pod to begin gathering his scarce belongings. “I wasn’t expecting that one…” They entered the pod, soon joined by Henry. “Have fun with Liam,” Cody said, earning nothing but a glare from Henry. “Sorry.” He began pulling the sheets off of his bed, which he bunched up and tucked into his arm.
“Want some help?” Ted offered. “It’s the least I can do for my new roomie,” he added with a grin.
Grinning back, Cody picked up his laundry bag, half filled with his dirty clothes, and shoved it into Ted’s arms. “Thanks, man, you’re a real pal.”
“You suck.”
“That I do, my friend, that I do.”
Ted just about dropped the laundry bag right there. “I didn’t mean… Not like… I mean…”
“You’re so cute when you’re all flustered,” Cody told him. “Don’t you think so, Henry?”
“I think he’s cute flustered or not.”
The blush rose even further on Ted’s face, and it was now a deep shade of red. “Alright, we’ll back off the teasing, ok Teddy?” Ted didn’t say anything, but the blush remained on his face. Cody looked around and figured he had everything he came in with, which wasn’t much. “Ok, well, later Henry.”
“Before you go, think I could ask you something? Alone,” he added looking right at Ted.
“Sure,” Cody answered, also looking over to Ted.
“Alright, I’ll go bring this upstairs, I guess…”
“Yeah, I’ll be right there. Thanks again.” They watched Ted leave and then Cody turned back, his hands on his hips and eyebrow raised. “What?”
“Why is McManus moving you in with him? I know you two have been talking, but he’s a Christian. Is he trying to convert you?” Henry asked, rolling his eyes at the absurdity of the thought of anyone trying to change someone from being gay.
“Fuck no. Last time he even tried suggesting something like that he ended up getting a right hook in the fuckin’ face. I guess we just get along well, is all… Really well,” he said with a grin.
“Cody, you don’t have a crush on him, do you? He’s a Bible thumper, you don’t have a chance.”
Cody grabbed his sheets and piled on the rest of his few belongings and walked backwards out of the pod, still grinning at Henry. “I guess you just don’t know him as well as I do.” He then turned around and headed up the stairs to his new pod. Ted stood there holding the door open for him and he dumped the pile of things onto his bed, which was, he noted, the top bunk. “Oh, you’re letting me take the top?”
“Didn’t feel like changing my things around. Besides, you’ve been in here longer…”
“By, what? A week?”
“Yeah, well, it works, right?”
“It does.” Cody looked around, unsure of what to do with his other things while he made up his bed. “Umm, do you mind if I put my shit down there for a bit?”
“Go for it.”
Cody separated all his things from his sheets and he began to make his bed. He could feel Ted’s eyes on him the whole time, and it made him feel good knowing that it was him having that affect on Ted. “Alright, all done. I guess I should put all my things away…”
“Guess so…”
Instead Cody climbed up into the top bunk and laid himself down, resting his head on the pillow. “There’s time to do that before lights out… Right now I want to bask in the new environment.”
“Yeah, welcome to the marvelous 2nd floor of Oswald.”
“What a view… I wonder what McManus wanted to see John and Randy for. Maybe it had something to do with that comment Jaz made about them fucking.”
Ted shrugged. “I dunno. You don’t think he’s moving one of them to a different unit, do you? I thought I heard something about John being in charge of the drug operation here.”
“Yeah, he is. Just don’t tell McManus you know that, ok? Cuz while I’m sure McManus knows what’s going on, all he needs is a little bit of proof and he’ll have a raid…” Cody shook his head as the memories of the raid he was caught in all came back to him.
“Hey, man, don’t worry about it,” Ted told him, moving in closer. He brought a hand up to Cody’s head and let his fingers tangle in his hair.
“Teddy, could you hand me that photo album?” Cody asked as he sat up. Ted’s hand slid from Cody’s hair to his shoulder and over his back as Cody moved. He then stepped back and glanced over Cody’s small pile of belongings before he handed him the album that his mother brought in for him on the second day of his imprisonment. Cody shifted so his legs were now hanging over the side of the bed. He pat the spot next to him, asking Ted to join him. “I know you’ve seen my dad and brother, but I want you to see the rest of my family.”
Ted grinned and hopped up on the bed, leaning in to Cody’s body as they browsed the pictures that flooded Cody with memories and introduced Ted to a whole new side of his new pod mate.
Chapter 3 part 2