if i didn't care
if i didn't care
hades/maria, persephone (percy jackson); pg
~1,700 words
Persephone looked between the two and she wanted to scream at him, demand from him why he wasn’t going to her, why he was just watching her and as she saw Maria in the sunlight, eyes shining and not one trace of regret etched onto her face, she looked back at Hades and saw that he was carrying both of their regrets.
notes: a big thank you to one of my partners in crime in the pjo-verse, saturninepen for reading this over. my very first pjo fic! have many more planned out, hopefully.
The throne room was symbolic, Hades enjoyed it for his own feeling of self-importance but it wasn’t a place he spent casual time in. He was a busy god, constantly stomping around the Underworld and doing the job that had been bestowed upon him by pure chance. He had come to deal with it better than expected over the years, looking at it as nothing more than a job, becoming virtually numb to it. He knew what he represented to most people, what his believed mythological status meant to most ignorant mortals now, but he had gotten better at not letting that knowledge affect how he did his job. Still, there were the days he would come back distracted. Not aggravated, as he would come back other days, but distracted with a hollow look in his endless eyes and when he was not looking, Persephone would watch him.
She’d see him in the throne room, the haughtiness mysteriously absent and sitting on his throne, something that could not be taken away from him. Over the years, despite herself, she had come to understand this man more than he understood himself sometimes. At first when she began to implore him, to feel sympathy for him, she hated herself for it because all she wanted to feel for the god who had kidnapped her and made her queen of the Underworld against her will was unrelenting loathing. For a while it had worked well and then she saw the loneliness he lived with and that had changed everything. She would find him sitting as he did now, one hand covering his face and holding his head up, elbow resting on the throne, his body positioned with his guard down, taking a moment in what he thought was privacy.
One day she had had enough of that distracted look and what she thought was red rimming his eyes and decided to follow him. He was a strong and powerful man, emotions such as those did not come easily to him, she knew, and she was determined, not as his queen but as his wife, to find out the cause. Unfortunately, today would not be that day. He paid his visit to the Fields of Asphodel, took care of whatever business he had to, and returned to the palace, with no distracted look, just the same scowl that usually accompanied his charming personality.
It was frustrating but Persephone refused to give up. She needed to know what was doing this to him because he was a stubborn, guarded man and it couldn’t have just been anything, could not have been something as simple as a misjudgment of a soul’s existence, there was more to it. She continued to follow him, each time coming up disappointingly empty handed until finally he made the new stop in his regular walk of his realm. The last place she had expected him to visit was Elysium, with its sunlight and star-filled skies and smell of flowers and baked goods, but that’s where she followed him into, brows furrowed and a heavy worry suddenly weighing on her shoulders.
When Maria had died, Persephone had not even thought of the possibility of Hades continuing to see her, despite the fact that she would now be forever in his realm. She was a bitter name on Persephone’s tongue and a sensitive subject between them. It was the one facet of him she refused to understand. When she had found out what he had wanted to do - to bring Maria down to the Underworld and build a golden palace just for her, damned what his wife may have thought - she was furious. Mortal lovers were nothing new for the gods but Persephone’s understanding of Maria was that she was much more than a lover though she had never wanted to find out what she had been (or perhaps still was) to Hades instead. She had a feeling she would find out today.
Keeping her eyes trained on Hades, she watched him slink behind a tree, as if he were hiding, and she hid herself too, trying to ascertain what he could have possibly been doing. She looked around Elysium until she saw it - or rather, her. The Italian woman who had such a hold on Hades’ heart even these years later and it was jealousy, not just bitter resentment that claimed Persephone. She wished she could say she didn’t care, let him have that heartbreak he shouldered and not care one bit but she did and that was the worst of all. She looked between the two and she wanted to scream at him, demand from him why he wasn’t going to her, why he was just watching her and as she saw Maria in the sunlight, eyes shining and not one trace of regret etched onto her face, she looked back at Hades and saw that he was carrying both of their regrets.
Persephone started but stopped when Maria looked up suddenly and found that shadow of darkness that stood out so in Elysium. Time seemed to slow as Hades began to move slowly towards Maria until they were in front of each other and he reached out, cupping her cheek and she leaned into him, turning her face into his palm and at this scene, Persephone did not know whether to be livid or feel sympathy (though sympathy for who, she didn’t know). She moved forward, stealing silently behind a tree so she was in a close enough proximity where she could hear them.
“Don’t, my love. You say that every time you are here. It does you no good.”
“But - ” He was silenced by a finger upon his lips and he looked down into deliberate eyes and not even the Lord of the Dead could defy them.
The Italian woman Persephone had come to detest so much over the years held only pain in her eyes and she could tell it was not for herself, but for Persephone’s husband. It frustrated Persephone, that Maria was not angry with Hades for what he had turned her life into and that she still obviously had so much love for him. She could not place why she was so frustrated, whether it was because Maria possessed his heart in a way that she never would or that she was beginning to see the man Maria had fallen in love with and would never be able to completely have him.
“Why do you do this to yourself? You are torturing yourself by coming here again and again.” When Hades started, she shook her head and placed either of her hands on his chest. “Of course I love seeing you, but not when you are in as much pain as you are. Where is that strong man I fell in love with? All you do is brood now, so much darkness.”
He sighed and brushed the hair from her face, the pad of his thumb tracing her cheekbone and lips and jawline, knowing them all so well. “Times are not as they once were.”
Pursing her lips, it was clear she was unsatisfied with his oversimplified answer but she knew not to push him. “What year is it?”
“1954.”
She sucked in a sharp breath of air and tears suddenly welled in her eyes. “Bianca and Nico will be grown now, my little boy so tall and handsome like his father and Bianca…she always did take after you most, with that stubborn personality of hers.” Her lips tightened into a smile.
He cleared his throat and nodded stiltedly. “Yes.” He croaked, his steely composure remaining for her.
“You were so worried but I knew you would take care of them. Your imbecile of a brother could never harm them, not with you around.” The strength of her words made a flash of guilt cross Hades’ face but it was gone in an instant.
“Yes, well, Zeus has always had his head in the clouds. And he’s always underestimated me.”
She made a tsk sound with her tongue and smiled coyly at him. “Mm, but you and your sister, you are still close, sì?”
“Which sister? Hestia?” At her nod, he allowed a small smile for a moment and nodded back to her. “We always have been. It’s just…difficult not being able to see her as I once did.”
Persephone remembered the days when Hades could see his little sister (or rather, he called her his little sister but she was technically older than him) more often and she had noticed a difference in his demeanor the less and less that he saw her. It had always been remarkable to her, their friendship, the way Hestia understood him, probably better than anyone, and that had been one of the first catalysts to make Persephone start looking at him in a different light.
Maria nodded to the god and reached a hand up, running the pad of her thumb along the corner of his lips before delicately taking his chin in her hand. “You are a good man, Hades.” When his eyes glanced away, she pressed the pads of her fingers into his skin. “Do not look away from me. You are, and anyone who says otherwise is just as much of an imbecile as your brother.”
He looked back at her and swallowed with difficulty. Persephone knew there was much that Maria did not know. It gave her a twisted sense of pride that she did, however. Still, when Hades leaned down to kiss Maria, Persephone found herself in a conflict of wills. She desperately wanted to look away, to never realize that he would never kiss her in such a way, but she could not tear her eyes away. The god and the deceased were in such a profound embrace, the latter’s fingers wrapped tightly around the god’s robes, and Persephone did not need to see more. She had seen enough.
When Hades returned to the palace, Persephone spotted the distracted look on his face once again and she wanted to believe she could understand his grievance but she could not. She realized with a pang of guilt that she never would.
hades/maria, persephone (percy jackson); pg
~1,700 words
Persephone looked between the two and she wanted to scream at him, demand from him why he wasn’t going to her, why he was just watching her and as she saw Maria in the sunlight, eyes shining and not one trace of regret etched onto her face, she looked back at Hades and saw that he was carrying both of their regrets.
notes: a big thank you to one of my partners in crime in the pjo-verse, saturninepen for reading this over. my very first pjo fic! have many more planned out, hopefully.
The throne room was symbolic, Hades enjoyed it for his own feeling of self-importance but it wasn’t a place he spent casual time in. He was a busy god, constantly stomping around the Underworld and doing the job that had been bestowed upon him by pure chance. He had come to deal with it better than expected over the years, looking at it as nothing more than a job, becoming virtually numb to it. He knew what he represented to most people, what his believed mythological status meant to most ignorant mortals now, but he had gotten better at not letting that knowledge affect how he did his job. Still, there were the days he would come back distracted. Not aggravated, as he would come back other days, but distracted with a hollow look in his endless eyes and when he was not looking, Persephone would watch him.
She’d see him in the throne room, the haughtiness mysteriously absent and sitting on his throne, something that could not be taken away from him. Over the years, despite herself, she had come to understand this man more than he understood himself sometimes. At first when she began to implore him, to feel sympathy for him, she hated herself for it because all she wanted to feel for the god who had kidnapped her and made her queen of the Underworld against her will was unrelenting loathing. For a while it had worked well and then she saw the loneliness he lived with and that had changed everything. She would find him sitting as he did now, one hand covering his face and holding his head up, elbow resting on the throne, his body positioned with his guard down, taking a moment in what he thought was privacy.
One day she had had enough of that distracted look and what she thought was red rimming his eyes and decided to follow him. He was a strong and powerful man, emotions such as those did not come easily to him, she knew, and she was determined, not as his queen but as his wife, to find out the cause. Unfortunately, today would not be that day. He paid his visit to the Fields of Asphodel, took care of whatever business he had to, and returned to the palace, with no distracted look, just the same scowl that usually accompanied his charming personality.
It was frustrating but Persephone refused to give up. She needed to know what was doing this to him because he was a stubborn, guarded man and it couldn’t have just been anything, could not have been something as simple as a misjudgment of a soul’s existence, there was more to it. She continued to follow him, each time coming up disappointingly empty handed until finally he made the new stop in his regular walk of his realm. The last place she had expected him to visit was Elysium, with its sunlight and star-filled skies and smell of flowers and baked goods, but that’s where she followed him into, brows furrowed and a heavy worry suddenly weighing on her shoulders.
When Maria had died, Persephone had not even thought of the possibility of Hades continuing to see her, despite the fact that she would now be forever in his realm. She was a bitter name on Persephone’s tongue and a sensitive subject between them. It was the one facet of him she refused to understand. When she had found out what he had wanted to do - to bring Maria down to the Underworld and build a golden palace just for her, damned what his wife may have thought - she was furious. Mortal lovers were nothing new for the gods but Persephone’s understanding of Maria was that she was much more than a lover though she had never wanted to find out what she had been (or perhaps still was) to Hades instead. She had a feeling she would find out today.
Keeping her eyes trained on Hades, she watched him slink behind a tree, as if he were hiding, and she hid herself too, trying to ascertain what he could have possibly been doing. She looked around Elysium until she saw it - or rather, her. The Italian woman who had such a hold on Hades’ heart even these years later and it was jealousy, not just bitter resentment that claimed Persephone. She wished she could say she didn’t care, let him have that heartbreak he shouldered and not care one bit but she did and that was the worst of all. She looked between the two and she wanted to scream at him, demand from him why he wasn’t going to her, why he was just watching her and as she saw Maria in the sunlight, eyes shining and not one trace of regret etched onto her face, she looked back at Hades and saw that he was carrying both of their regrets.
Persephone started but stopped when Maria looked up suddenly and found that shadow of darkness that stood out so in Elysium. Time seemed to slow as Hades began to move slowly towards Maria until they were in front of each other and he reached out, cupping her cheek and she leaned into him, turning her face into his palm and at this scene, Persephone did not know whether to be livid or feel sympathy (though sympathy for who, she didn’t know). She moved forward, stealing silently behind a tree so she was in a close enough proximity where she could hear them.
“Don’t, my love. You say that every time you are here. It does you no good.”
“But - ” He was silenced by a finger upon his lips and he looked down into deliberate eyes and not even the Lord of the Dead could defy them.
The Italian woman Persephone had come to detest so much over the years held only pain in her eyes and she could tell it was not for herself, but for Persephone’s husband. It frustrated Persephone, that Maria was not angry with Hades for what he had turned her life into and that she still obviously had so much love for him. She could not place why she was so frustrated, whether it was because Maria possessed his heart in a way that she never would or that she was beginning to see the man Maria had fallen in love with and would never be able to completely have him.
“Why do you do this to yourself? You are torturing yourself by coming here again and again.” When Hades started, she shook her head and placed either of her hands on his chest. “Of course I love seeing you, but not when you are in as much pain as you are. Where is that strong man I fell in love with? All you do is brood now, so much darkness.”
He sighed and brushed the hair from her face, the pad of his thumb tracing her cheekbone and lips and jawline, knowing them all so well. “Times are not as they once were.”
Pursing her lips, it was clear she was unsatisfied with his oversimplified answer but she knew not to push him. “What year is it?”
“1954.”
She sucked in a sharp breath of air and tears suddenly welled in her eyes. “Bianca and Nico will be grown now, my little boy so tall and handsome like his father and Bianca…she always did take after you most, with that stubborn personality of hers.” Her lips tightened into a smile.
He cleared his throat and nodded stiltedly. “Yes.” He croaked, his steely composure remaining for her.
“You were so worried but I knew you would take care of them. Your imbecile of a brother could never harm them, not with you around.” The strength of her words made a flash of guilt cross Hades’ face but it was gone in an instant.
“Yes, well, Zeus has always had his head in the clouds. And he’s always underestimated me.”
She made a tsk sound with her tongue and smiled coyly at him. “Mm, but you and your sister, you are still close, sì?”
“Which sister? Hestia?” At her nod, he allowed a small smile for a moment and nodded back to her. “We always have been. It’s just…difficult not being able to see her as I once did.”
Persephone remembered the days when Hades could see his little sister (or rather, he called her his little sister but she was technically older than him) more often and she had noticed a difference in his demeanor the less and less that he saw her. It had always been remarkable to her, their friendship, the way Hestia understood him, probably better than anyone, and that had been one of the first catalysts to make Persephone start looking at him in a different light.
Maria nodded to the god and reached a hand up, running the pad of her thumb along the corner of his lips before delicately taking his chin in her hand. “You are a good man, Hades.” When his eyes glanced away, she pressed the pads of her fingers into his skin. “Do not look away from me. You are, and anyone who says otherwise is just as much of an imbecile as your brother.”
He looked back at her and swallowed with difficulty. Persephone knew there was much that Maria did not know. It gave her a twisted sense of pride that she did, however. Still, when Hades leaned down to kiss Maria, Persephone found herself in a conflict of wills. She desperately wanted to look away, to never realize that he would never kiss her in such a way, but she could not tear her eyes away. The god and the deceased were in such a profound embrace, the latter’s fingers wrapped tightly around the god’s robes, and Persephone did not need to see more. She had seen enough.
When Hades returned to the palace, Persephone spotted the distracted look on his face once again and she wanted to believe she could understand his grievance but she could not. She realized with a pang of guilt that she never would.