The truth behind the smile
The truth behind the smile
Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
Part: 9 of 25
50 years after the execution
"O no!" cried Rangiku as she ran through Seireitai with Gin the stuffed silver fox, "I am going to be late for my lesson with Yama-jii. I know, I'll cut across the fifth squad training grounds. I am sure they won't mind and that's a short-cut to Yama-jii's house."
Rangiku didn't come to the fifth squad grounds all that often. She had no friends in the division, her father was not particularly close to Captain Abarai and she got the distinct feeling some of the shinigami didn't really like her. Although she couldn't imagine why. Maybe they were just weird. Pre-occupied with her thoughts she didn't notice the two shinigami that were lounging casually around the training grounds. "Well look there, if it isn't that traitor's spawn," said one of them to the other.
Rangiku, however, did not become aware of them until she found one of them blocking her path while the other snatched her doll from her arms, "Hey! What's the meaning of this! Give Gin back this instant!"
"Gin!" exclaimed the shinigami holding the doll, "She isn't even ashamed of it. She actually named her doll after him," he said, mostly addressing his companion.
Rangiku was a little confused but then it dawned on her that the shinigami were probably referring to her mother's friendship with Ichimaru Gin, "I'll have you know, there is nothing wrong with my mom naming her dolls after her friend or for me keeping that name. Now give Gin back or else!"
"Or else what?" demanded the other shinigami, "You are going to run to your 'daddy', are you. You little shit!"
Rangiku narrowed her eyes, "I don't need to bother daddy about dealing with trash like you two," pointing two fingers at the shinigami holding Gin she said, "Bakudō no. 1 Sail," Gin dropped from his hands as they shot behind him locked together. Before Gin hit the ground Rangiku caught him.
"Why you little..." the other shinigami moved towards her.
Calmly Rangiku turned towards him and said, "Bakudō no. 9 Geki," immediate a flash of red light engulfed the shinigami and he was completely paralyzed, "Who the hell do you take me for!" demanded Rangiku, "I am Kyoraku Rangiku, don't mess with me."
The paralyzed Shinigami couldn't speak but his friends started laughing and said, "O I know who you are. I know who you are clearly better then you do. Your the spawn of that..." suddenly he found his head in the hook of Wabisuke.
"Are you sure you want to finish that sentence?" asked Kira calmly.
"Ca..captain Kira..." whispered the Shinigami.
"What was he about to say?" demanded Rangiku.
"Nothing of any importance," Kira assured her, "Now what are you doing here?" he wondered.
"Oh! I was running late for my kendo lesson with Yama-jii. I have to go, see you later Captain Kira!" she called as she dashed off. Having not yet mastered Shunpo, she was forced to run the conventional way. As she ran, she wondered briefly what the shinigami was about to say but then decided that he was probably going to make some comment about her mother in regards to Ichimaru Gin. Given how the two shinigamis had reacted upon hearing the name of her doll, it was the most logical conclusion. She supposed that after the three traitors had been found out, most of their old friends probably disowned them. Maybe her mother didn't and some shinigami, specially those of the squads three, five and nine would still resent those who stood by the traitors.
"Yes, your mother never gave up on Ichimaru," Yama-jii told her when she reached his house to find that he and her brother had already started the lesson, "While she always put the Gotei 13 first, she never disowned him. But it is nothing to be resentful about and certainly nothing anyone should be bringing up with you. I shall be discussing this incident with Captain Abarai," he assured her.
"I wouldn't worry about that," she said cheerfully, "I am sure Captain Kira marched those men right into Captain Abarai's office and had them sorted out."
"Yes, Yama-jii," Shunsui agreed, "Captain Kira isn't the type to let things like this slide. Neither is Captain Abarai. Those men will regret ever bothering Rangiku before this day is out."
"Hmm... I am certain you are right," agreed Yama-jii, "But I will still be making sure the appropriate punishment has been doled out. But enough of this, come children, it is time we continued the lesson."
"It's Hinamori, they would never have dared do something like this if they didn't think she would throw her support behind them," said Renji to Kira after he had finished dealing with the two shinigami, "Time is making her remember 'Captain Aizen' more fondly. She definitely has issues with me being her captain. I think she resents the fact that out of the three of us, four if you count Hisagi-san, she was the only one who hasn't achieved bankai. I think she resents having to become the subordinate of a classmate. I mean, first she had to watch Hitsugaya become Captain despite joining the ranks of the Shinigami after her and then me, you, Hisagi-san all achieved bankai and became captains and she... well she's been left behind."
"I don't see how any of this has anything to do with Aizen or Rangiku-chan for that matter," said Kira.
"Well, she was happy while Aizen was her captain. He made her feel as if she could achieve anything. Plus I don't think she ever fully accepted that Aizen was the master mind and not Ichimaru Gin," explained Renji, "She certainly hates those kids and isn't shy about saying so either."
"What!" cried Kira, "I have never heard her say anything."
"She's not stupid and she doesn't go saying it in front of everybody," said Renji, "But there is a small group of shinigami, about five or six of them, to whom those two definitely belong. Most of them joined the squad with Aizen and still don't believe he was what he was. Hinamori has fallen in with them and even though she was there, even though she fought in the winter war, she isn't averse to sitting with them and fondly reminiscing about Aizen. It would be totally harmless if it wasn't making her forget the real Aizen."
He found her in her office, dutifully completing the mountain of paperwork associated with running a messenger squad, "Kira-kun!" she cried as he entered the office, but then catching her mistake, "I mean Captain Kira."
"Have I ever stopped you from calling me Kira-kun, Hinamori-kun?" wondered Kira.
"O no, but it's not right that I call you Kira-kun anymore," she said, looking a bit sad, "What brings you here?"
"I had to talk to Abarai-kun about two of your squad members who I caught assaulting Rangiku-chan," he explained.
"Assaulting Rangiku-chan!" exclaimed Hinamori, "Is she ok?"
"She's fine. Even at such a young age she is much stronger then they are."
"Another child genius, how nice!" she said, although she clearly hadn't intended it the bitterness was evident in her tone.
Kira regarded her for awhile before saying, "So it is true."
"What's true?" wondered Hinamori, feeling as if he was sprinting ahead in a word game that she did not know the rules to.
"You don't like those children, but why? What have they done to you?"
At first it looked as if she wouldn't answer but then, "They exist."
"What does that suppose to mean?"
"Exactly what I said," yelled Hinamori, unable to keep her temper in check, "They killed my captain in the field of battle. He didn't get a year to make peace with everyone. He didn't get a year to leave behind a piece of him. Even his zanpakuto was destroyed. I have nothing! Nothing left of him."
"You have the scare he gave you," Kira pointed out.
For a moment Hinamori looked like she was about to attack Kira but she brought her emotion under control, "What do you want from me, Captain Kira?"
"I would like to know why you of all people are still pining for Aizen Souske," stated Kira.
"Me! What about you! You are still pining for that traitorous snake!" screamed Hinamori, "You can still love and miss your captain but I am not allowed to love and miss mine! How is that fair?"
"I don't miss an illusion," said Kira frankly, "You don't love or miss the real Aizen. You loved and you now miss the Aizen that was an illusion. The kind captain, the caring man who always had a word praise for everyone. The real Aizen was neither kind nor caring. He was manipulative, a megalomaniac and a sociopath."
"That makes him different from Ichimaru how?" demanded Hinamori.
"I never said he was different from Captain Ichimaru, but Captain Ichimaru never pretended that he was not a manipulative sadist," said Kira, "I still miss my captain despite his flaws. Not because I am compulsively over looking them. You... you have managed transfer all that was wrong with yours on to mine and let your heart grow fond again for a man that never existed, except as an illusion that was as cunningly crafted as anything his zanpakuto could have conjured."
"And what of it!" she demanded, "You have all left me, you have all forgotten me. You all have your own lives and I am..." tears welled up in her eyes, "Hitsugaya-kun was never the same after Rangiku-san's death. Especially when it was followed so soon by Granny's death. Even now there is a distance between us that I can't bridge. You... you found time to hang out with Abarai-kun, with Hisagi-san but not with me. After awhile Abarai-kun got busy and then one day, after I ran this squad for ten years without a captain, Abarai-kun just walks in as Captain Abarai! I know he has bankai but I have been a vice-captain longer then him! I had been acting captain of this squad for ten years! But suddenly none of that mattered. All that mattered was that the chances of me achieving bankai was next to nil."
"Abarai-kun earned his captaincy," replied Kira quietly, "You are not incapable of achieving bankai. You just didn't want to because deep down inside you didn't want anyone to take Aizen's place, least of all you and now that Abarai-kun is the captain of this squad, you no longer have a reason to achieve bankai. This all goes back to your delusions concerning Aizen."
Hinamori closed her eyes and let her tears flow freely, "I know I am deluding myself. All I have to do is look in the mirror while getting dressed and I know what the real Captain Aizen was. But..." she covered her face with her hands and kept crying, "When everybody has moved on and I find myself stuck exactly where I was fifty years ago... I can't help but thinking what would life have been like if Captain Aizen was still around. But he's not around but he is," there was so much venom in her voice that it shocked Kira, "I won't lie to you. I can't stand that boy. I look at him and all I see is Captain Ichimaru. I hated him, even before he was revealed as a traitor I hated him and couldn't understand how you could be so devoted to him. I couldn't understand why Captain Aizen still sometimes accidentally said 'Gin' when issuing orders," she admitted.
"It's not fair," whispered Hinamori, "it's not fair that, that snake got to spawn and that no one seems to care that those to kids are his spawn. They all love them. Every single one of them. Rangiku-chan I can understand. She looks just like Rangiku-san so it's only natural Hitsugaya-kun and Hisagi-san would like her so much. But what about that boy! He looks exactly like Ichimaru but no one seems to care! Yamamoto-sama can't stop praising him and treats him as if he really is Captain Kyoraku's son and..."
"He is Captain Kyoraku's son," Kira said firmly, "No one is pretending on that score. Being a father is lot more then just about blood," a hard edged slipped into Kira's voice as he continued, "I came here tonight hoping that Abarai-kun was wrong about you. But I see now that he wasn't. So I'll tell you this Vice-captain Hinamori, control your friends and yourself. I do not care if you and them spend your days idolizing Aizen but if your venoms ever touch those children again, you will lose your heads to Wabisuke."
"Kira-kun! Why?"
"You were right about me avoiding you. At least, I was actively avoiding you straight after the execution because out of everybody you were the only person who was happy about Captain Ichimaru's execution. This included Soifon and Yamamoto-san, by the end even they were sorry that Captain had to die. If only because by killing him they would be adding two orphans to the world. But you... I couldn't do it, Hinamori-kun. I couldn't be around someone who couldn't, who wouldn't forgive my captain. Especially when I had let go of all my bitterness and resentment towards Aizen. And after tonight," Kira looked sad, "I don't think I know you any more, Vice-captain Hinamori. Because the Hinamori Momo that I thought I knew would never say such bitter words about a child, any child, let alone the children of the woman who used to call her friend."
Hinamori looked away, "You are right. I am no longer the Hinamori Momo that I once was. I don't know when I changed but I did. I can't say that I like the person that I am now, but I think it might be too late to change back."
Kira opened his mouth to say something, anything but no words came out. There seemed to be such an huge gulf between them. After standing and staring at her for a little while longer, Kira turned and left. As he walked back to the third squad barracks he remembered the time he drew a blade against Hinamori in the defense of his captain. He realized that he was willing to do it again if he needed to, but this time his blade would be drawn in defense of his captains children. Both of whom he loved as deeply and as devotedly as he had his captain.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
Part: 9 of 25
50 years after the execution
"O no!" cried Rangiku as she ran through Seireitai with Gin the stuffed silver fox, "I am going to be late for my lesson with Yama-jii. I know, I'll cut across the fifth squad training grounds. I am sure they won't mind and that's a short-cut to Yama-jii's house."
Rangiku didn't come to the fifth squad grounds all that often. She had no friends in the division, her father was not particularly close to Captain Abarai and she got the distinct feeling some of the shinigami didn't really like her. Although she couldn't imagine why. Maybe they were just weird. Pre-occupied with her thoughts she didn't notice the two shinigami that were lounging casually around the training grounds. "Well look there, if it isn't that traitor's spawn," said one of them to the other.
Rangiku, however, did not become aware of them until she found one of them blocking her path while the other snatched her doll from her arms, "Hey! What's the meaning of this! Give Gin back this instant!"
"Gin!" exclaimed the shinigami holding the doll, "She isn't even ashamed of it. She actually named her doll after him," he said, mostly addressing his companion.
Rangiku was a little confused but then it dawned on her that the shinigami were probably referring to her mother's friendship with Ichimaru Gin, "I'll have you know, there is nothing wrong with my mom naming her dolls after her friend or for me keeping that name. Now give Gin back or else!"
"Or else what?" demanded the other shinigami, "You are going to run to your 'daddy', are you. You little shit!"
Rangiku narrowed her eyes, "I don't need to bother daddy about dealing with trash like you two," pointing two fingers at the shinigami holding Gin she said, "Bakudō no. 1 Sail," Gin dropped from his hands as they shot behind him locked together. Before Gin hit the ground Rangiku caught him.
"Why you little..." the other shinigami moved towards her.
Calmly Rangiku turned towards him and said, "Bakudō no. 9 Geki," immediate a flash of red light engulfed the shinigami and he was completely paralyzed, "Who the hell do you take me for!" demanded Rangiku, "I am Kyoraku Rangiku, don't mess with me."
The paralyzed Shinigami couldn't speak but his friends started laughing and said, "O I know who you are. I know who you are clearly better then you do. Your the spawn of that..." suddenly he found his head in the hook of Wabisuke.
"Are you sure you want to finish that sentence?" asked Kira calmly.
"Ca..captain Kira..." whispered the Shinigami.
"What was he about to say?" demanded Rangiku.
"Nothing of any importance," Kira assured her, "Now what are you doing here?" he wondered.
"Oh! I was running late for my kendo lesson with Yama-jii. I have to go, see you later Captain Kira!" she called as she dashed off. Having not yet mastered Shunpo, she was forced to run the conventional way. As she ran, she wondered briefly what the shinigami was about to say but then decided that he was probably going to make some comment about her mother in regards to Ichimaru Gin. Given how the two shinigamis had reacted upon hearing the name of her doll, it was the most logical conclusion. She supposed that after the three traitors had been found out, most of their old friends probably disowned them. Maybe her mother didn't and some shinigami, specially those of the squads three, five and nine would still resent those who stood by the traitors.
"Yes, your mother never gave up on Ichimaru," Yama-jii told her when she reached his house to find that he and her brother had already started the lesson, "While she always put the Gotei 13 first, she never disowned him. But it is nothing to be resentful about and certainly nothing anyone should be bringing up with you. I shall be discussing this incident with Captain Abarai," he assured her.
"I wouldn't worry about that," she said cheerfully, "I am sure Captain Kira marched those men right into Captain Abarai's office and had them sorted out."
"Yes, Yama-jii," Shunsui agreed, "Captain Kira isn't the type to let things like this slide. Neither is Captain Abarai. Those men will regret ever bothering Rangiku before this day is out."
"Hmm... I am certain you are right," agreed Yama-jii, "But I will still be making sure the appropriate punishment has been doled out. But enough of this, come children, it is time we continued the lesson."
"It's Hinamori, they would never have dared do something like this if they didn't think she would throw her support behind them," said Renji to Kira after he had finished dealing with the two shinigami, "Time is making her remember 'Captain Aizen' more fondly. She definitely has issues with me being her captain. I think she resents the fact that out of the three of us, four if you count Hisagi-san, she was the only one who hasn't achieved bankai. I think she resents having to become the subordinate of a classmate. I mean, first she had to watch Hitsugaya become Captain despite joining the ranks of the Shinigami after her and then me, you, Hisagi-san all achieved bankai and became captains and she... well she's been left behind."
"I don't see how any of this has anything to do with Aizen or Rangiku-chan for that matter," said Kira.
"Well, she was happy while Aizen was her captain. He made her feel as if she could achieve anything. Plus I don't think she ever fully accepted that Aizen was the master mind and not Ichimaru Gin," explained Renji, "She certainly hates those kids and isn't shy about saying so either."
"What!" cried Kira, "I have never heard her say anything."
"She's not stupid and she doesn't go saying it in front of everybody," said Renji, "But there is a small group of shinigami, about five or six of them, to whom those two definitely belong. Most of them joined the squad with Aizen and still don't believe he was what he was. Hinamori has fallen in with them and even though she was there, even though she fought in the winter war, she isn't averse to sitting with them and fondly reminiscing about Aizen. It would be totally harmless if it wasn't making her forget the real Aizen."
He found her in her office, dutifully completing the mountain of paperwork associated with running a messenger squad, "Kira-kun!" she cried as he entered the office, but then catching her mistake, "I mean Captain Kira."
"Have I ever stopped you from calling me Kira-kun, Hinamori-kun?" wondered Kira.
"O no, but it's not right that I call you Kira-kun anymore," she said, looking a bit sad, "What brings you here?"
"I had to talk to Abarai-kun about two of your squad members who I caught assaulting Rangiku-chan," he explained.
"Assaulting Rangiku-chan!" exclaimed Hinamori, "Is she ok?"
"She's fine. Even at such a young age she is much stronger then they are."
"Another child genius, how nice!" she said, although she clearly hadn't intended it the bitterness was evident in her tone.
Kira regarded her for awhile before saying, "So it is true."
"What's true?" wondered Hinamori, feeling as if he was sprinting ahead in a word game that she did not know the rules to.
"You don't like those children, but why? What have they done to you?"
At first it looked as if she wouldn't answer but then, "They exist."
"What does that suppose to mean?"
"Exactly what I said," yelled Hinamori, unable to keep her temper in check, "They killed my captain in the field of battle. He didn't get a year to make peace with everyone. He didn't get a year to leave behind a piece of him. Even his zanpakuto was destroyed. I have nothing! Nothing left of him."
"You have the scare he gave you," Kira pointed out.
For a moment Hinamori looked like she was about to attack Kira but she brought her emotion under control, "What do you want from me, Captain Kira?"
"I would like to know why you of all people are still pining for Aizen Souske," stated Kira.
"Me! What about you! You are still pining for that traitorous snake!" screamed Hinamori, "You can still love and miss your captain but I am not allowed to love and miss mine! How is that fair?"
"I don't miss an illusion," said Kira frankly, "You don't love or miss the real Aizen. You loved and you now miss the Aizen that was an illusion. The kind captain, the caring man who always had a word praise for everyone. The real Aizen was neither kind nor caring. He was manipulative, a megalomaniac and a sociopath."
"That makes him different from Ichimaru how?" demanded Hinamori.
"I never said he was different from Captain Ichimaru, but Captain Ichimaru never pretended that he was not a manipulative sadist," said Kira, "I still miss my captain despite his flaws. Not because I am compulsively over looking them. You... you have managed transfer all that was wrong with yours on to mine and let your heart grow fond again for a man that never existed, except as an illusion that was as cunningly crafted as anything his zanpakuto could have conjured."
"And what of it!" she demanded, "You have all left me, you have all forgotten me. You all have your own lives and I am..." tears welled up in her eyes, "Hitsugaya-kun was never the same after Rangiku-san's death. Especially when it was followed so soon by Granny's death. Even now there is a distance between us that I can't bridge. You... you found time to hang out with Abarai-kun, with Hisagi-san but not with me. After awhile Abarai-kun got busy and then one day, after I ran this squad for ten years without a captain, Abarai-kun just walks in as Captain Abarai! I know he has bankai but I have been a vice-captain longer then him! I had been acting captain of this squad for ten years! But suddenly none of that mattered. All that mattered was that the chances of me achieving bankai was next to nil."
"Abarai-kun earned his captaincy," replied Kira quietly, "You are not incapable of achieving bankai. You just didn't want to because deep down inside you didn't want anyone to take Aizen's place, least of all you and now that Abarai-kun is the captain of this squad, you no longer have a reason to achieve bankai. This all goes back to your delusions concerning Aizen."
Hinamori closed her eyes and let her tears flow freely, "I know I am deluding myself. All I have to do is look in the mirror while getting dressed and I know what the real Captain Aizen was. But..." she covered her face with her hands and kept crying, "When everybody has moved on and I find myself stuck exactly where I was fifty years ago... I can't help but thinking what would life have been like if Captain Aizen was still around. But he's not around but he is," there was so much venom in her voice that it shocked Kira, "I won't lie to you. I can't stand that boy. I look at him and all I see is Captain Ichimaru. I hated him, even before he was revealed as a traitor I hated him and couldn't understand how you could be so devoted to him. I couldn't understand why Captain Aizen still sometimes accidentally said 'Gin' when issuing orders," she admitted.
"It's not fair," whispered Hinamori, "it's not fair that, that snake got to spawn and that no one seems to care that those to kids are his spawn. They all love them. Every single one of them. Rangiku-chan I can understand. She looks just like Rangiku-san so it's only natural Hitsugaya-kun and Hisagi-san would like her so much. But what about that boy! He looks exactly like Ichimaru but no one seems to care! Yamamoto-sama can't stop praising him and treats him as if he really is Captain Kyoraku's son and..."
"He is Captain Kyoraku's son," Kira said firmly, "No one is pretending on that score. Being a father is lot more then just about blood," a hard edged slipped into Kira's voice as he continued, "I came here tonight hoping that Abarai-kun was wrong about you. But I see now that he wasn't. So I'll tell you this Vice-captain Hinamori, control your friends and yourself. I do not care if you and them spend your days idolizing Aizen but if your venoms ever touch those children again, you will lose your heads to Wabisuke."
"Kira-kun! Why?"
"You were right about me avoiding you. At least, I was actively avoiding you straight after the execution because out of everybody you were the only person who was happy about Captain Ichimaru's execution. This included Soifon and Yamamoto-san, by the end even they were sorry that Captain had to die. If only because by killing him they would be adding two orphans to the world. But you... I couldn't do it, Hinamori-kun. I couldn't be around someone who couldn't, who wouldn't forgive my captain. Especially when I had let go of all my bitterness and resentment towards Aizen. And after tonight," Kira looked sad, "I don't think I know you any more, Vice-captain Hinamori. Because the Hinamori Momo that I thought I knew would never say such bitter words about a child, any child, let alone the children of the woman who used to call her friend."
Hinamori looked away, "You are right. I am no longer the Hinamori Momo that I once was. I don't know when I changed but I did. I can't say that I like the person that I am now, but I think it might be too late to change back."
Kira opened his mouth to say something, anything but no words came out. There seemed to be such an huge gulf between them. After standing and staring at her for a little while longer, Kira turned and left. As he walked back to the third squad barracks he remembered the time he drew a blade against Hinamori in the defense of his captain. He realized that he was willing to do it again if he needed to, but this time his blade would be drawn in defense of his captains children. Both of whom he loved as deeply and as devotedly as he had his captain.