Erasure: retrograde inversion
Title: retrograde inversion
Original text(s) erased: The Devil, You, and Me
Erased by: chibifrieza
Original text by: xenoamorist
Fandom (of original text): Supernatural
Fandom (of erasure): Supernatural (?)
Notes: I had grand plans for doing a graphic version but was miserably sick all week, so that didn't happen. I'd like to say I might do it eventually, but considering I'm no longer on holiday, I probably won't have time. Also, uh, this is kind of... the reverse of the original. But it was so much fun. :D I hope the title is allowed? I forgot it needed one and then realised I don't know the etiquette for erasure titles.
________________
Not happy,
he straightens up
come
you say
your brother won't welcome you
shakes his head,
don't speak.
words in his throat,
a pressing need-
music, the scent of cold air, the sound of metal
moonlight eyes observing memories
You can have one more;
two or three anyway.
you don't want to leave.
He smiles, eyes anywhere else
And then you break.
"Yeah."
prepare for an hour
pretending and calling it done
he
disappointed
doesn't bother
anxiety makes him freeze
trembling-
probably won't
probably hasn't
probably both
Neither
remember darkness, another whisper
you learned the last smile
drops hard
the highest is not unreasonable
but sometimes
you want to burn out.
the light spreads over his whole body
only once he's sure,
a single focus
standing in the door.
❧
after,
he finds you
better than you have been
amazing
you should've let his eyes
unsteady
learn without worry
But it'll all be clear in just a little bit
You're not that devil
malicious, twisted
up against the wall
stronger than ever;
he,
gasping for air,
finally says
"Come on."
free breath centers him
dragging his eyes up
not going to just throw away everything
He puts his gaze here,
eyes almost tangible,
and a faint smile watches him
heart pounding,
he pulls
nips at tongue and lips
one last glance before going to bed.
The next morning,
breath; a growl,
telling you
last night was seriously-
sighs
you think you can hear it as lips curl
into a grin
Original text(s) erased: The Devil, You, and Me
Erased by: chibifrieza
Original text by: xenoamorist
Fandom (of original text): Supernatural
Fandom (of erasure): Supernatural (?)
Notes: I had grand plans for doing a graphic version but was miserably sick all week, so that didn't happen. I'd like to say I might do it eventually, but considering I'm no longer on holiday, I probably won't have time. Also, uh, this is kind of... the reverse of the original. But it was so much fun. :D I hope the title is allowed? I forgot it needed one and then realised I don't know the etiquette for erasure titles.
________________
Not happy,
he straightens up
come
you say
your brother won't welcome you
shakes his head,
don't speak.
words in his throat,
a pressing need-
music, the scent of cold air, the sound of metal
moonlight eyes observing memories
You can have one more;
two or three anyway.
you don't want to leave.
He smiles, eyes anywhere else
And then you break.
"Yeah."
prepare for an hour
pretending and calling it done
he
disappointed
doesn't bother
anxiety makes him freeze
trembling-
probably won't
probably hasn't
probably both
Neither
remember darkness, another whisper
you learned the last smile
drops hard
the highest is not unreasonable
but sometimes
you want to burn out.
the light spreads over his whole body
only once he's sure,
a single focus
standing in the door.
❧
after,
he finds you
better than you have been
amazing
you should've let his eyes
unsteady
learn without worry
But it'll all be clear in just a little bit
You're not that devil
malicious, twisted
up against the wall
stronger than ever;
he,
gasping for air,
finally says
"Come on."
free breath centers him
dragging his eyes up
not going to just throw away everything
He puts his gaze here,
eyes almost tangible,
and a faint smile watches him
heart pounding,
he pulls
nips at tongue and lips
one last glance before going to bed.
The next morning,
breath; a growl,
telling you
last night was seriously-
sighs
you think you can hear it as lips curl
into a grin