Update: Ocular Squamous Cell Carcinoma
My horse does have it :(
Here are my options:
1. Surgery to have the cancer frozen/removed. This can cost up to $3000 including everything. There is a 75% chance that the cancer will come back and metastasize to his brain or nasal passages.
2. Have the eye removed. This can cost up to $5000 including everything. There is a long recovery period and he will need training to deal with his vision loss. There is a chance he may not be rideable.
3. There is a cancer cream that I can put on the cancer in his eye. This cream essentially eats away the cancer. I have to wear gloves to apply it because it is caustic. Do I want to put something caustic into my horse's eye? The vet said it would be painful for Cooper. Again, there is a high chance that the cancer would come back and metastasize to his brain or nasal passages.
4. Do nothing. Wait for the cancer to get worse/painful and put him to sleep quietly in his pasture. I don't think that will take very long, this cancer seems quite aggressive. This is the option my regular vet and the eye specialist are both recommending when considering his vast medical history.
Option one and two are not going to be possible. I am not financially able to pay for either surgery. The eye specialist that does the surgery is not very flexible with payment options. She wants it all up front and I can't do that.
I'm not comfortable with option three. I don't want to cause him any pain and I know this is going to hurt like hell and possibly damage his eye in the process.
My regular vet says Coops is not in any pain right now. The other side of the coin is his lameness. He has been lame off and on since I've owned him. He has been on pasture rest all of last year recovering from an old ligament injury. The vet said he may not be sound ever again. I've been fighting so hard for him to get better. I've been doing everything I possibly can and then this...
I guess I know what I have to do; I was just hoping that I would never have to make these kinds of decisions. He's my first horse and we've gone through a lot together. I've learned so much from him and I just want to make sure that I am making the right decision for him. Thank you for all of the advice you gave me in my last post. It was nice to hear other experiences.
02/10/10 Edited to add: I started to reply to everybody individually (using my other journal, sorry for the confusion) but I didn't think a bunch of lame "thank you's" was good enough. Sometimes even when you know you are making the right decision you still feel like a terrible person. I feel a sense of guilt and sadness because Cooper can't tell me how he feels and I have to make the decisions for him. I keep thinking "what if I had done something different, would I still be in this situation?" I know that's silly because its cancer and it's not something I could have prevented. I just wanted to let you know that all of your kind words and personal stories have been really comforting to read and have helped me immensely. Thanks guys!