there's no one here to save
it's hard for me to relate to someone who makes a choice, but isn't happy with his/her choice. being happy with your choice is also a choice. with that said, if you choose to be unhappy with your choice, well, i guess you'll just be unhappy
just so we're clear, dude? i didn't ask. people don't live in a world where your standards are the gold standards. and this is definitely you being a judgey dick.
i don't understand this all-or-nothing mentality that people seem to have about emotions. so if i'm homesick, i must be miserable all the time. and the remedy is to just decide that, well, fuck that noise, i'm going to be happy now! is it so inconceivable that you can simultaneously know that you've made a good, smart, well-informed decision and that you're glad of the outcome, but that there are still periods you feel miserable as fuck because you are thirty thousand miles from home and every single person who loves and understands you, in a foreign culture that you frankly are learning more and more that you really don't care for, surrounded by people you feel pretty much the same way about?
anyone who acts as though personal happiness must be maintained no matter the cost, that it's an easy choice when it comes to weighing what you want against how it'll affect everyone around you, clearly has no idea about my culture and my world. or me, as a person, because i've been here before, i've made these decisions, and i've already learnt that decisions based solely on self-interest are the quickest way to most isolating kind of misery.
maybe it's no big thing to you that you've sunk 60 grand into a year of grad school, and that you could waltz back home with all that debt on your shoulders and shrug and say, "well, that sucked, so i'm done. moving on!" maybe the idea of that is still, to you, a legitimate choice. maybe you don't wake up thinking jesus christ i'm almost thirty and i'm still nowhere close to being able to support my parents the way i want to. kudos to you for putting yourself first! i hope you make yourself very happy. but i won't even try to relate to that because it's such a bizarre concept, making yourself as your guiding compass to all your life decisions. you may think of it as being "tied down with a family", but that's all i've ever wanted, and that's always going to be the biggest part of my decision making process. personal happiness has always been a distant second place.
so i'm gonna keep trucking on, through the worst of the homesickness and the misery, knowing that there's a bigger purpose to all of this, and that the little victories i win everyday are enough to keep me going, even if i'm not prancing around with confetti and ponies all of the time.
that said--i don't begrudge you the way you choose to live your life, so kindly take your fucking nose out of my fucking business and stop judging the way i live mine.
just so we're clear, dude? i didn't ask. people don't live in a world where your standards are the gold standards. and this is definitely you being a judgey dick.
i don't understand this all-or-nothing mentality that people seem to have about emotions. so if i'm homesick, i must be miserable all the time. and the remedy is to just decide that, well, fuck that noise, i'm going to be happy now! is it so inconceivable that you can simultaneously know that you've made a good, smart, well-informed decision and that you're glad of the outcome, but that there are still periods you feel miserable as fuck because you are thirty thousand miles from home and every single person who loves and understands you, in a foreign culture that you frankly are learning more and more that you really don't care for, surrounded by people you feel pretty much the same way about?
anyone who acts as though personal happiness must be maintained no matter the cost, that it's an easy choice when it comes to weighing what you want against how it'll affect everyone around you, clearly has no idea about my culture and my world. or me, as a person, because i've been here before, i've made these decisions, and i've already learnt that decisions based solely on self-interest are the quickest way to most isolating kind of misery.
maybe it's no big thing to you that you've sunk 60 grand into a year of grad school, and that you could waltz back home with all that debt on your shoulders and shrug and say, "well, that sucked, so i'm done. moving on!" maybe the idea of that is still, to you, a legitimate choice. maybe you don't wake up thinking jesus christ i'm almost thirty and i'm still nowhere close to being able to support my parents the way i want to. kudos to you for putting yourself first! i hope you make yourself very happy. but i won't even try to relate to that because it's such a bizarre concept, making yourself as your guiding compass to all your life decisions. you may think of it as being "tied down with a family", but that's all i've ever wanted, and that's always going to be the biggest part of my decision making process. personal happiness has always been a distant second place.
so i'm gonna keep trucking on, through the worst of the homesickness and the misery, knowing that there's a bigger purpose to all of this, and that the little victories i win everyday are enough to keep me going, even if i'm not prancing around with confetti and ponies all of the time.
that said--i don't begrudge you the way you choose to live your life, so kindly take your fucking nose out of my fucking business and stop judging the way i live mine.