Fuck

[epicallytired]

I heard from unemployment. I've exhausted my benefits. so even though my boss wouldn't have fought it... because i used up my unemployment last time, and haven't worked enough hours since then to you know.. have paid anythign back inot the system, i'm back where i was twomonths ago... only with less hope because once again I wasn't enough

Comments

[mdlaw]

Honey, I think you need to get some real help right now. I don't know where you are, but you need to talk to someone in person. I'm sure you're not a monster, but we all could use some help in the people skills area from time to time. I know I could. Please, talk to someone who can help. Unless you're a serial killer or pedophile, you don't need to beat yourself up like that. m

[epicallytired]

thought i'd just mention that i'm not a serial killer, unless you count time, i kill a lot of time...

but i had a debate with a friend once over the semantics of that.

if you're killing time, are you a serial killer or a mass murderer?

[mdlaw]

Well, I suppose if you do it all at once all the time you're a mass murderer, but if you do it intermittently for short periods of time than you a serial killer. Of course, if you do it by vegging out for periods of time than you're psychotic. (that would be me) m

[epicallytired]

see, and that is the question.

if i take a flexaril vicodin cocktail and kill a whole day... that's mass murder.

if i play diner dash fifteen times and write porn... i think that's serial killing of time minute by minute.

so i guess i'm a bit of both... but only where time is concerned, i'm very nice to puppies and i rarely run over small children with my grocery cart (although i will clip them in the shoulder if they won't get out of the fucking way)

[netlagd]

so sorry to hear that
I know that you were working hard
contact me off line if you want to whine privately

[_alicesprings]

I agree with m. Call someone who can offer you some good professional advice, which I unfortunately, cannot.

I won't give you any of the blah blah stuff, all I can say is that you contribute something that makes me very happy. Your talents as a writer make me and a lot of other people very happy, and even if your job situation is for shit at the moment, you're definitely not useless or worthless. I think very highly of you, and I hope you don't give up. I'm thinking of you, take care of yourself xoxox

[epicallytired]

i'm fine.

[_alicesprings]

I'm glad.

[happier_bunny]

Well, I'm gonna tell ya anyway that losing that job didn't have anything to do with whether or not you're "enough". While I know that professionally and financially you're at the end of your rope, but I didn't get the impression you were all ga-ga over that job anyway....so fuck 'em.

Now, allow yourself to wallow for a few more days cuz that's part of the process, you and I both know that. Then, if you want help, I'll try to see if you've got any grounds to appeal your unemployment determination. If not, something'll give, it has to!

[epicallytired]

i said i'm fine.

[happier_bunny]

Well, I hope that icon isn't an indication of your definition of "fine"....{{{hugs}}}

[epicallytired]

it's an icon. i'll change it, since it's bugging people.

Okay ...............Vampy

[callie89]

That fucking icon is scaring me. You're scaring me. I know that everything is for shit right now but I can only repeat what alicesprings said, you are definitely not useless or worthless. You bring so much joy to so many of us with your writing. I can't repeat this enough.

But.........what you're feeling now I think is beyond anything that your cyberfriends can help you with. I mean all the love fest letters that we write to you aren't going to do it this time. You need to talk to someone who can offer professional help.

You can do this.....you have to do this for yourself. Please....

Re: Okay ...............Vampy

[epicallytired]

sorry, i'll change the icon. it amused me. but if it's freaking you out i'll lose it.

but i am fine. this isn't a cry for help, or anything. i just hate that i have no fucking clue how i'm going to put gas in my car, or buy food that won't make me sick. i'll figure it out.

ETA... i found the icon online, it's probably a digital manip anyway, and it's not like a picture i took.

Re: Okay ...............Vampy

[callie89]

Okay...........Callie had a freak out. I am sorry for that. But I read a very honest and painful journal entry and then see I see a icon of cutting, it only natural to alarmed at least with my line of work. You say you're okay and you are nothing but blunt and honest, so okay.....I will lay off.

;-)

Re: Okay ...............Vampy

[epicallytired]

i'm not mad or upset callie, i'm just fine. The icon is a hell of a lot better than the real thing (which i do. not. do. anymore, not since i was a kid