brigits_flame: Dinnertime

[ephemeralbreath]

Title: Dinnertime
Word Count: 525
Warnings: The topic was thought of while watching MTV and singing The Beatles. Warning enough? I think so.
Notes: This was written for the June contest atbrigits_flame; the topic is "Oil and Vinegar."

Comments

[amused4ever]

Ahahahaha. MTV. ;P

I liked it! Especially the last line. And the paragraph describing the dressing mixing and the stain. And this comment font is so small that I can barely read what I'm typing. :v

[ephemeralbreath]

xD Yeah... It was one of those "coming out" things... And it was late at night! Yes. Blame the sleeplessness!

:D Yayyyy I'm glad you did. Haha yey metaphor. Didja notice, the oil is the family and the vinegar the protagonist? I started it that way, but thought that saying it outright would make it feel too much like I was holding your hand. =X

I know! I wish I could change it, but it's an LJ premade layout, and I don't think you can mess with those...

[amused4ever]

HEY LOOK KELLY I'M FINALLY REPLYING LOOKIT 8DDD

...YES, I DID NOTICE THAT. :DDD The whole oil=family, vinegar=protagonist, I was mainly complimenting that when I mentioned "describing mixing the dressing and the stain", because while your adjectives and transitive verbs were lovely, I picked up on the symbolism/metaphor. You introduced it just enough to make the reader aware it was there, but they had to work and deciding what was what--so I'm glad you didn't say it outright, that would've sounded stupid. xP

And I'm getting used to it, so don't sweat it. I was just REEEAAALLLYYY tired when I first commented, because that was one of the days I'd stayed up and hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. D:

[ephemeralbreath]

! I THOUGHT YOU READING IT LAST NIGHT AT MY HOUSE WAS YOU REPLYING! xD

:D I'm glad you did! I was way too excited about that haha. Yeah, I know... I have a bad tendency to want to hold readers' hands, but I'm getting better!

Awww. Yeah, I don't think it's THAT bad, but I guess I'm kind of used to reading funkay font.

[ephemeralbreath]

:D I'm glad you liked it! I wish I knew how to change it, or even if it's possible to. D:

[cedarwolfsinger]

Good work. The tension is very real...interesting that the oil is the family and the vinegar the main character.

[ephemeralbreath]

Thank you for reading!

[merthin]

That was really touching. The stain and the admission so wonderfully linked, both immutable, both irreversible. This was really nicely done. :-)

[ephemeralbreath]

Thank you; I'm glad you liked it!

[libra_dragon]

This was really good. I enjoyed reading it.

[ephemeralbreath]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.