(no subject)
Will I ever manage to post an entry within at least 8 hours after writing it?
Sarah-at-the-bar gave me the pants, because apparently they don't fit her---which means I'm not as skinny as I thought I was. Grr. However, I learned that she only weighs 5 pounds more than I. I think it's my childbearing hips---but she's had three children, while I have had none...hmm---and the boobs. Speaking of Sarah-at-the-bar, she wants me to babysit her kids sometimes. Apparently I will not have to entertain them, as they will entertain me. Dude, at $10/hour, I don't give a fuck.
Charles hit me on the butt today with a plastic Tupperware container. It hurt like a bitch---felt like a wet towel snap. I don't understand.
The good news---sort of---is that it took me three weeks to break a glass. Coming from the loser who injured herself on the very first fucking day of field school last summer, this is definitely a new record. I drop things at work all the time, but they never break. I was beginning to think I possessed some sort of lucky charm, but apparently not.
We're having a luau in a few weeks. I kid you not. Also, we'll be serving jungle juice. Again, I kid you not. Marcella and I are pushing for grass skirts and coconut bras; Mark requested a coconut codpiece.
Also, the other day Melanie and I asked Justin if we could start wearing miniskirts and tight shirts. We wanted to be the Hooters of Hiwan but...no.
Anyway, I'd forgotten that my roommate from UNC had a Myspace; I checked out her profile and sure enough, she's one of THOSE people with 700 "Myspace" pictures. You know the ones I mean. This is odd because she is one of the last people on Earth I expected to go all Myspace on me. She used to be into not doing all the stupid things everyone else does, but apparently = nope. I always thought she was too "into" certain things, too staunchly "non-emo" and "non-scenster" and "non-non-Christian" and "non-mainstream music" and...well, it's hard to describe. She drove me nuts sometimes, all because of this characteristic that I can't seem to explain properly. It was all about the "non", though. Hmm...it was like she was trying so hard to not be mainstream in anything that she ended up being just like everyone else who tries hard to not be mainstream and ends up the exact opposite of the nonconformity for which they claimed to be striving. Run-on sentence much?
Hey Boner! Wanna get some CHS kids together for a little drinky drinky? Um, I was totally going to call you today---I actually have it written on my palm---but, did not, for various mystifying reasons, unknown to even myself. Speaking of writing things on your palm, it did not occur to me that writing on my palm wasn't such a good idea until I poured my first glass of water and realized that my left hand is my grab-the-glass hand and customers can, oddly enough, see my palm through glass.
I've become so talented at booking cheap plane fares online that my mother has delegated to me my little sister's flights to and from school. Boo-yah. Um, yeah. The little rat didn't give me enough information, though, so I can't do it until she gets home or answers her g.d. phone.
That's my new phrase, btw: g.d. Charles used it tonight and, I like it. Also, we had a titty war. I won---clearly.
Speaking of Charles, last night after work he and Sam and John and I went over to Sam's house to shoot some pool. Before we started, Sam and John went outside to partake in a little oregano---if you know what I mean. From then on our teams were divided into stoned and non-stoned. Non-stoned lost, though; not one ball did I sink except for the cue ball when I was going for the 8 at the end. I might as well have been stoned. Poor Charles; why does he even let me on his team?
Also, John gave me this article to read; it was a Rolling Stone magazine piece on Syd Barrett. It's pretty sweet. I copied it and intend to paste it into my journal, because I am lame like that.
Speaking of work, I'M NOT WORKING TOMORROW. This is weird. What will I do with myself? Tonight was a sucky money night, though. Grr.
Ok, I've been trying to post this thing for FOREVER---ok, well, maybe not forever; we'll say about 24 hours or so---and seem to be forever distracted. Most of the time it was either work, sleep, or buuah---not necessarily in that order---but tonight it was my sisters with their cheesy sci-fi movies and plane tickets. Oh, yeah, t3h sister came home. We spent an hour wrestling with dates and times; she couldn't seem to figure out exactly when she had to be back, and the layover times were sucking, and, well, yeah. But it's done now. Boo-yah.
I was totally going to say something else. Oh yeah! I don't think I've mentioned the water contest. See, part of my job is trying to upsell on water; we offer Pellegrino and Fiji water as well as tap. Guess what we want people to pick? Anyway, this month Justin is having a contest to see who can sell the most water. P and F are one point each. I, by virtue of working every single day since the 1st, am up to 27---I think---already. Nobody else was in town this week, so I got a huge head start. Also, I've perfected the art of getting people to buy fancy water. I have tricks up my sleeve like you wouldn't believe. whoffleck, want to make that last accidentally-rhymed sentence into a rap for me?
Oh, yeah, the prize for the contest is movie passes. But at this point, I don't really care about the passes; it's a matter of pride. I just want to win for the sake of winning. I'm averaging 5.4/night, and I'm proud. Tyler and Anna will have to get their butts in gear if they want to beat me.
My sister doesn't believe that Tom's mango cheesecake is the best cheesecake in the world. On Tuesday I will prove it to her when we stop by the restaurant to get some. Also, we will confound my co-workers and they will say "this one looks exactly like you, but the other one...wtfuck?!?"
GEEZ. Go to bed already.
Ok.
Sarah-at-the-bar gave me the pants, because apparently they don't fit her---which means I'm not as skinny as I thought I was. Grr. However, I learned that she only weighs 5 pounds more than I. I think it's my childbearing hips---but she's had three children, while I have had none...hmm---and the boobs. Speaking of Sarah-at-the-bar, she wants me to babysit her kids sometimes. Apparently I will not have to entertain them, as they will entertain me. Dude, at $10/hour, I don't give a fuck.
Charles hit me on the butt today with a plastic Tupperware container. It hurt like a bitch---felt like a wet towel snap. I don't understand.
The good news---sort of---is that it took me three weeks to break a glass. Coming from the loser who injured herself on the very first fucking day of field school last summer, this is definitely a new record. I drop things at work all the time, but they never break. I was beginning to think I possessed some sort of lucky charm, but apparently not.
We're having a luau in a few weeks. I kid you not. Also, we'll be serving jungle juice. Again, I kid you not. Marcella and I are pushing for grass skirts and coconut bras; Mark requested a coconut codpiece.
Also, the other day Melanie and I asked Justin if we could start wearing miniskirts and tight shirts. We wanted to be the Hooters of Hiwan but...no.
Anyway, I'd forgotten that my roommate from UNC had a Myspace; I checked out her profile and sure enough, she's one of THOSE people with 700 "Myspace" pictures. You know the ones I mean. This is odd because she is one of the last people on Earth I expected to go all Myspace on me. She used to be into not doing all the stupid things everyone else does, but apparently = nope. I always thought she was too "into" certain things, too staunchly "non-emo" and "non-scenster" and "non-non-Christian" and "non-mainstream music" and...well, it's hard to describe. She drove me nuts sometimes, all because of this characteristic that I can't seem to explain properly. It was all about the "non", though. Hmm...it was like she was trying so hard to not be mainstream in anything that she ended up being just like everyone else who tries hard to not be mainstream and ends up the exact opposite of the nonconformity for which they claimed to be striving. Run-on sentence much?
Hey Boner! Wanna get some CHS kids together for a little drinky drinky? Um, I was totally going to call you today---I actually have it written on my palm---but, did not, for various mystifying reasons, unknown to even myself. Speaking of writing things on your palm, it did not occur to me that writing on my palm wasn't such a good idea until I poured my first glass of water and realized that my left hand is my grab-the-glass hand and customers can, oddly enough, see my palm through glass.
I've become so talented at booking cheap plane fares online that my mother has delegated to me my little sister's flights to and from school. Boo-yah. Um, yeah. The little rat didn't give me enough information, though, so I can't do it until she gets home or answers her g.d. phone.
That's my new phrase, btw: g.d. Charles used it tonight and, I like it. Also, we had a titty war. I won---clearly.
Speaking of Charles, last night after work he and Sam and John and I went over to Sam's house to shoot some pool. Before we started, Sam and John went outside to partake in a little oregano---if you know what I mean. From then on our teams were divided into stoned and non-stoned. Non-stoned lost, though; not one ball did I sink except for the cue ball when I was going for the 8 at the end. I might as well have been stoned. Poor Charles; why does he even let me on his team?
Also, John gave me this article to read; it was a Rolling Stone magazine piece on Syd Barrett. It's pretty sweet. I copied it and intend to paste it into my journal, because I am lame like that.
Speaking of work, I'M NOT WORKING TOMORROW. This is weird. What will I do with myself? Tonight was a sucky money night, though. Grr.
Ok, I've been trying to post this thing for FOREVER---ok, well, maybe not forever; we'll say about 24 hours or so---and seem to be forever distracted. Most of the time it was either work, sleep, or buuah---not necessarily in that order---but tonight it was my sisters with their cheesy sci-fi movies and plane tickets. Oh, yeah, t3h sister came home. We spent an hour wrestling with dates and times; she couldn't seem to figure out exactly when she had to be back, and the layover times were sucking, and, well, yeah. But it's done now. Boo-yah.
I was totally going to say something else. Oh yeah! I don't think I've mentioned the water contest. See, part of my job is trying to upsell on water; we offer Pellegrino and Fiji water as well as tap. Guess what we want people to pick? Anyway, this month Justin is having a contest to see who can sell the most water. P and F are one point each. I, by virtue of working every single day since the 1st, am up to 27---I think---already. Nobody else was in town this week, so I got a huge head start. Also, I've perfected the art of getting people to buy fancy water. I have tricks up my sleeve like you wouldn't believe. whoffleck, want to make that last accidentally-rhymed sentence into a rap for me?
Oh, yeah, the prize for the contest is movie passes. But at this point, I don't really care about the passes; it's a matter of pride. I just want to win for the sake of winning. I'm averaging 5.4/night, and I'm proud. Tyler and Anna will have to get their butts in gear if they want to beat me.
My sister doesn't believe that Tom's mango cheesecake is the best cheesecake in the world. On Tuesday I will prove it to her when we stop by the restaurant to get some. Also, we will confound my co-workers and they will say "this one looks exactly like you, but the other one...wtfuck?!?"
GEEZ. Go to bed already.
Ok.