hc_bingo fic: runaways
Title: The Other Side of Tomorrow
Fandom: DBSK
Pairing: YooSu main, YunJae, JaeChun, Jae/others, one-sided MinHo
Prompt: Runaways
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6069
Summary: Yoochun’s lost himself and doesn’t know where to look. Somehow, he doesn’t think finding himself again will be as easy as finding his glasses. On the way, he gets some help from a fellow commitment-phobe and his friends.
AN: Written, as the subject and tag say, for hc_bingo. Masterpost with game card is here.
AN2: No relation whatsoever to the book or movie of the same name. The title just stuck.
Yoochun was fairly certain he was going crazy. Or maybe he was haunted, but he'd only suggested that once, and Junsu had laughed so hard he'd fallen off the couch. Who, he'd wheezed once he could almost breathe again, would want to spend an afterlife with someone as boring as Yoochun?
But the fact remained that he was being followed. By a pair of really creepy children who tended to stare at him balefully whenever he was in the same room as Junsu. Not all the time, no, or even every day, but often enough that it was really starting to get to him. He'd taken to trying to ignore them, but how long could one ignore something like that? Junsu obviously couldn't see them, because the first time they'd appeared, when Yoochun had jumped and screamed (in a manly fashion, of course, and not at all like a prepubescent girl, no matter what Junsu said), Junsu had teased him for a week about seeing a mouse.
By the time the little bastards started watching him and Junsu having sex, he'd had it. He couldn't take it anymore. Maybe Junsu was the haunted one. Well, fine. If the undead anklebiters wanted him, they could have him. Not like Yoochun had any claim over him, right? Right.
He'd only met Junsu six months ago, after all. And sure they'd hit it off right away, and sure they'd spent more time on their third date making out than watching the movie, and yeah, okay, so maybe he'd been thrilled when Junsu mentioned needing a new roommate a month ago. (You could have the other bedroom for a studio, he'd said. Not like we'll need it.) That didn't mean anything. Not even if he'd never felt as strongly about anyone before. Nope. Not a thing.
He turned around, decision made, and jumped despite himself, pressing a hand to his chest. Little bastards were there again, between him and the bedroom. Maybe... maybe he'd just pack later, then.
~
Somehow, later became much later became maybe eventually became six MORE months later and Junsu talking about getting a house and the kids, now decked in a depressingly monochrome set of wedding clothes, were nearly constant companions.
He wondered if it was possible to kill ghosts again.
It wasn't that he didn't want to move in with Junsu and go shopping for furniture and buy each other 'promise' rings (You watch too many girly dramas, he'd told Junsu. Junsu hit him.), it was just that he'd never even thought of doing any of those things before, and frankly... those things were kind of terrifying. How could a person stay a 'him' when he became part of a 'they'?
Yoochun found himself asking that question more and more. And the more he asked the question, the more irritable he got with Junsu, and the more often he caught sight of the ghosts. After one night too many of staring up at the ceiling, Junsu snuggled up to him, purring softly in his sleep and drooling on Yoochun's shoulder, he gave up. Ghosts or no ghosts, he couldn't take this anymore. A better man would actually wait until the morning and talk about things, but... well, Yoochun never claimed to be a good person.
He didn't bother with packing. Either he'd come back for his stuff or Junsu could burn him in effigy with it, and really, at this point, he wouldn't blame him. He grabbed his wallet, hesitated over his phone before leaving it, and hesitated again at the door. He swore under his breath, glaring over his shoulder at the ghosts watching him from the end of the hallway. Fine.
He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off the entry table.
Lost myself. Gone to check the lost and found at the airport and maybe farther.
Don't wait up.
He didn’t bother signing it.
~~
He didn’t make it to the airport. Or, he did, but only as far as the lounge outside security. He sat, nursing a drink and thinking. The ghosts stared at him from a corner. No one else noticed them.
He’d always hated that song, the one about “how many roads must a man walk down,” largely because he’d never understood why radio stations had to play outdated American music when there was perfectly good modern stuff rotting away on the indie stations. Now it kept playing in his head, over and over, every round sounding more and more like two pre-teens with a vendetta against anything with ears. Hatred didn’t even describe his feelings adequately anymore. It was loathing, pure, unadulterated loathing...
He growled, mentally threatening to listen to nothing but Gregorian Chants for the rest of his life if they started in on showtunes.
That shut them up. Fucking undead anklebiters.
A fresh glass thunked to the bar directly in his line of sight. He automatically followed the impeccably manicured nails to the disgustingly buff arms to the face of the most beautiful man Yoochun had ever seen, and apparently also the bartender.
Beautiful smirked at him, like he was used to most of his customers staring a bit. “Consider that one on me. You look like you could use it.”
Yoochun blinked. At him, then at the drink. “You aren’t... the other guy?”
“Donghae? Naw, his shift is done. You’ve been there a while.” At least he wasn’t that drunk yet. “My name’s Jaejoong. You waiting on someone?”
Yoochun looked around, surprised when he noticed that, yes, the rest of the bar was empty enough that the bartender was probably bored. Jaejoong. Jaejoong was probably bored. It had been mildly full when he’d come in, but apparently the after-midnight crowd at the airport was mostly tired pilots and... well, lonely drunks like him. Not a huge selection. “Oh, uh, me. No. I’m... just here. I guess.”
Jaejoong raised an eyebrow like that wasn’t exactly the standard response. “Right. Well, if you tell me your name, I’ll tell you when my shift gets off, and you can be?”
Yoochun blinked, wondering if he’d actually just been hit on. He must have taken too long about it because Jaejoong suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Wait. You’re straight, aren’t you. Shit, I’m sorry. I-”
“No! No, I mean...” Yoochun cleared his throat, wondering what ever possessed him to answer so fervently. “No, I’m just.. coming off of... something.” Right. “I’m Yoochun.” This was such a bad idea.
Jaejoong looked like he wasn’t sure which part of that to comment on, but then he stuck with the safest bit. “Nice to meet you, Yoochun. I’m done at two, tonight.”
It was a date.
~~
It didn’t turn out to be a date so much as a lot of groping as soon as they were in the door to Jaejoong’s apartment. Yoochun’s brain had given up about five shots before his liver had, so it was easy to imagine Junsu’s shoulders and Junsu’s hips and Junsu’s mouth instead of Jaejoong’s. At least until Jaejoong moaned and pulled Yoochun against him.
He broke away, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Jaejoong eyed him, much more sober than Yoochun. “Can’t can’t or can’t won’t?”
Did it really matter? “Both, I guess? I’m sorry. I should-”
“You don’t have anyplace to go, do you? So stay here. You can sleep on the couch.”
Yoochun knew he was staring, but his very drunken brain didn’t care that it was rude. Even when he’d been in the practice of regular one-night stands, none of them had ever offered to let him stay on their couch.
Jaejoong fidgeted. “What? You don’t, do you?”
“Um... no?”
“Then stay. I’ll get you a pair of sweats to sleep in and some blankets. You can buy me breakfast in the morning to make up for it.” Jaejoong left to do exactly that, leaving Yoochun to stare after him, still confused. Maybe things would make more sense in the morning when he was more sober.
~
Things did not make more sense in the morning, even mostly sober. Part of that may have been caused by the unfortunate way in which he was woken up.
“For God’s sake, hyung, we had a deal!”
Yoochun shot bolt upright at the shout, then flopped back down like a dying fish, hands clutching his head.
“HYUNG!”
Wouldn’t somebody think of his poor head and make it stop?!
He vaguely heard a few stumbling steps and a door creaking open. “You’re Buddhist, Changmin. Stop swearing by people you don’t believe in.”
The angry voice got even angrier, somehow. “Stop being pedantic. We had a deal, and you broke it.”
There was a pause and a yawn and then someone was nudging his feet out of the way to sit on the couch. He whimpered.
“This is Yoochun. He doesn’t count.”
He slitted his eyes open to find that the beautiful bartender apparently had an equally stunning... roommate? Lover? ...Thing? Maybe he was still a little drunk.
The stunning owner of the angry voice didn’t seem to share Jaejoong’s opinion on the matter. “You brought someone home, hyung. While I was home. Asleep. In my bed. Innocent as new-fallen snow-”
Jaejoong snorted. “You’ve never been innocent and you know it, Mr. Pornography.”
His cheeks flamed scarlet as he glanced at Yoochun but otherwise he ignored Jaejoong’s interjection. “And completely unsuspecting that I might wake up to find some random guy sleeping on our couch. Deal. We had one. That you stabbed in the back and left to die in a gutter.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes, finally looking at Yoochun. “Sorry. Changmin’s a little over-dramatic in the mornings. You can buy him breakfast, too, and make up for crashing on the couch.”
Was Yoochun supposed to have an answer for that? “Okay?”
The offer of breakfast somehow actually seemed to work. Changmin glared and stomped back into what Yoochun assumed was his room, and Jaejoong draped himself across his half of the couch. “Really, don’t mind Changmin. I did promise I wouldn’t bring any more guys over to have sex when he was home, but we didn’t have sex, so technically, I’m still right.”
Yoochun wasn’t sure how he knew, but at that moment, he was positive he never wanted to make any deals with Jaejoong.
~
Yoochun had no idea anyone could ever eat so much. He might have actually had to protest buying Changmin breakfast if he’d known.
He’d also caught sight of the children standing in the road as they walked to the restaurant. They looked sadder than usual. He looked away as a car drove through them.
They’d no sooner settled into a booth in the restaurant and gotten their food than Jaejoong started watching him closely. “What are you running from, anyway?”
Changmin pretended to studiously ignore them in favor of his rice.
Yoochun gaped. “Who says I’m running from anything?”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “I talk to a lot of people in my job, okay? Very few of them show up at an airport bar just to get drunk if they aren’t running away from something. Are you a murderer? Did you rob a bank?”
Changmin was forced to give up his impartiality when he choked on a noodle. “Hyung! You didn’t think to ask that BEFORE you brought him home?”
Jaejoong shrugged, completely unabashed and seemingly uncaring of Yoochun’s trapped stare. “What? He was drunk. I wasn’t going to get anything good out of him when he was floppy, and he’s hot.”
Changmin sighed and something flashed over his expression too quickly for Yoochun to catch. “Hyung...”
Jaejoong bristled. “Don’t start. It’s my apartment, too, and I didn’t sleep with him, so you can just take your self-righteous bullshit and shove it.” He stood up with a huff. “I’m going shopping. I need new boots. Don’t kick him out until I get home.”
He flounced off. Yoochun had thought he’d seen some good flounces in his life, Junsu was a master of them, but that... that was a flounce. He turned guiltily to Changmin, opening his mouth to ask for an explanation or to apologize or maybe a little of both, but Changmin stopped him with a shake of his head. “Don’t bother. It’s not your fault, and since I can’t kick you out, I’d rather you didn’t say anything stupid that made me want to.”
He paused and looked Yoochun over critically. “I don’t think you could murder anyone, anyway.”
“...Thanks?” Was that an insult?
“You’re welcome. Are you going to eat that last waffle?”
~
Jaejoong didn’t come back that night. Changmin said he probably just went straight to work after spending an afternoon on something called ‘retail therapy.’ Changmin spent the afternoon on kicking Yoochun’s ass at Mario Kart.
There was something decidedly off about this household, Yoochun decided around the third round of ass-kicking. Maybe they were just roommates, but they didn’t fight like roommates. And Changmin had only been upset that Yoochun existed, not that Jaejoong was going to sleep with him, so they weren’t lovers.
His character went flying off the track into oblivion. Maybe he should ponder these things later.
~
Changmin was on his way to bed when the questions finally started bothering Yoochun too much. He followed to stand awkwardly in the doorway to Changmin’s room. It was nice, much better furnished than the rest of the apartment, and surprisingly tasteful. He didn’t know why it was surprising. Maybe he just thought anyone who was that good at Mario Kart shouldn’t have a room that looked like it came straight out of ‘Home and Garden.’
Changmin raised an eyebrow, obviously about to close his door in Yoochun’s face if he didn’t say something soon. Yoochun definitely didn’t feel like having a door closed in his face. “I know you’re kind of the wrong person to ask, but-”
“Because he’s hopeless.”
Yoochun blinked. “What?”
“Because Jaejoong is hopeless.” Changmin was giving him a look like he was completely stupid not to have noticed it himself already. “You were going to ask why you’re here or something like that, right? Because Jaejoong is completely and utterly hopeless when it comes to sob stories. Even if you never told him you have one. He can just tell. Like a dog.”
Yoochun automatically looked over his shoulder to find the kids, as always, watching him like cockroaches. He turned back to find Changmin watching him oddly. Right. “But he-”
“No, he didn’t know anything about you. He just knows. I said that, so listen if you’re going to start asking questions.” He hadn’t asked any questions yet, Yoochun thought rebelliously. “He thinks he can fix everybody. He likes to try. I like him to be happy. So as long as you don’t ruin the chances of the latter, I don’t care if you stick around. Okay?”
Was he supposed to say something now? “Okay?”
Changmin frowned. “You’re not even trying.”
No. No, he wasn’t. Yoochun wondered if Changmin knew how right he was.
~
One week into crashing on their couch, Jaejoong had an announcement. “Yunho,” he said grandly, “is coming home tomorrow, and we’re going to meet him. Although I don’t know why he wants to see you, too, Changmin. You’re lame.”
Changmin, who’d torn Jaejoong’s heart out in Mortal Kombat three times before dinner, snorted into his noodles. Yoochun, on the other hand, just looked between the two of them. Obviously, this name was supposed to mean something, but he hadn’t the faintest idea what.
Thanks to Jaejoong working nights and Changmin working whenever his class schedule would allow, he’d gotten to spend a surprising amount of time with one or both of them over the last week. He’d called his agent after two days and lied about losing his phone to get around why he hadn’t called for nearly a week. He didn’t have any pressing deadlines and asked the man to refrain from getting him any new ones for a little while. Mental health reasons, he said. Long vacation. It wasn’t exactly a lie. But that left him with nothing better to do than play video games and talk to whichever of the two was around.
Changmin, he’d found, was ruthless and mean and cared more deeply about the people in his life, specifically Jaejoong, than he’d ever admit. He also had a venomous wit that sometimes hit a little too close to home. Jaejoong was almost the exact opposite. He was warm and friendly and a little motherly and sometimes... promiscuous, although Yoochun could probably use a stronger word. Jaejoong was easy to fall in love with.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t, just a little.
But one thing he hadn’t learned about was any person named Yunho. “Who’s he?”He suddenly found himself on the receiving end of two incredulous stares. “What? It’s an honest question. I’ve only lived here for a week!”
This time they looked at each other. Eventually, Jaejoong shrugged a little. Changmin shook his head, but it was fond. Mostly. “Yunho-hyung went to school with Jaejoong-hyung. They were best friends.” There was a hesitation before ‘best friends’ but Yoochun wasn’t sure what to make of it. “He’s been gone on a business trip to Japan for the better part of a month.”
“And he refuses to let me run up a huge phone bill calling him when he’s out of the country. Stupid son of a CEO. Anyway. I think I might make his favorite lunch tomorrow.”
Jaejoong nattered on about everything and nothing, Yunho’s favorite foods, what time they had to meet him, what he liked to watch on TV, his favorite games that even Changmin couldn’t beat him at, and eventually Yoochun just sort of tuned it out. It may have only been a week, but he couldn’t wait to meet the person who could make Jaejoong act like that.
~
There was a small park just outside the airport that they’d agreed to meet at. Changmin had refused to deal with the crowds in the airport itself, no matter how much Jaejoong pouted and wanted to meet Yunho coming straight out of Customs. While they stood around waiting, Yoochun felt more and more like a third wheel. He figured it was probably part of Jaejoong ‘fixing’ him or whatever, but he really didn’t know why he’d been invited along. Or, less invited and more kidnapped.
A tiny figure became visible, crossing the street and entering the park, dragging more luggage than was probably healthy. As the figure got closer, it resolved into a strikingly handsome man around their age, and tall, probably at least as tall as Changmin, who was already freakishly tall.
“Yunho!” Jaejoong’s face lit up as he dashed across the park. Obviously this was who they were meeting. Now, Yoochun suddenly felt like a homewrecker.
Jaejoong hugged Yunho and kissed his cheek and started leading him over to them, chattering excitedly. That was when Yoochun noticed something odd. He turned away to check, and no, his undead anklebiters were right where they had been, now back in street clothes, although the girl still held her bouquet.
But following Yunho and Jaejoong were a pair of depressed-looking swans. One had a bow tie and top hat. No one else seemed to notice them. Especially not Jaejoong. If he’d noticed anything but Yunho’s eyes, Yoochun would have been shocked.
One of the swans hissed at the children. The girl threw her bouquet at it. Yoochun realized he was being talked to and hadn’t heard a word of it.
He jerked back to the conversation to find Jaejoong staring at him oddly and Changmin shaking his head. He wondered, sometimes, what Changmin thought of him. He was very good at keeping his counsel to himself. “What’d I miss?”
Jaejoong huffed the largest sigh Yoochun had ever heard. “Only everything. Good job. Aaaaaaanyway. Again. Yoochun, this is Yunho.”
Somehow, that came out sounding like ‘Yoochun, keep your paws off.’ He wondered if Jaejoong realized he did that, then thought no, probably not. “Right. I... haven’t heard all that much about you, actually, but it’s mostly been good.”
Yunho had kind of an amazing smile. Maybe Jaejoong’s ‘paws off’ message was more necessary than he’d thought. “Mostly?”
He shrugged. “Well, you know. Changmin.”
Yunho had kind of an amazing laugh, too. Not as amazing as Junsu’s, but-
Yoochun cut that thought off before he got distracted again. The ghosts, who had perked up for a minute, went back to sulking.
Yunho’s amazing laugh made his eyes sparkle. Yoochun could also see why Jaejoong had such a hard time looking away. “Right. You shouldn’t believe anything Changmin says about anyone.”
“Yah, hyung...”
“He’s a grinch, you see. We had him tested once.” He ducked away from Changmin’s fist, putting Jaejoong between them to use as a human shield. It backfired when Jaejoong just punched them both.
Yoochun laughed at Yunho’s pout of ultimate sorry. He no longer felt like he was a homewrecker or a third wheel, at least. Now if he could just stop thinking about how much better this could be if someone wasn’t missing...
~
Yunho, Yoochun quickly decided, was either the world’s most deliberately charismatic person, or the most genuine. He thought it was the latter. Either way, he’d have happily followed him to the ends of earth after only knowing him for two days.
Plus, he could beat Changmin at Mario Kart.
Then again, part of that could be Jaejoong distracting Changmin on Yunho’s behalf. Sometimes he wondered if Changmin didn’t have just a little bit of a crush on Jaejoong, too, all appearances to the contrary.
“Minniiiiiiiiiiiiiie~” Changmin gritted his teeth, apparently determined to ignore Jaejoong and win this round. Even Yoochun knew that was a doomed endeavor. “Changmiiiiiiiiiiiiin-aaaaaaaaaah!” Yoochun snickered, waiting for what was surely coming as Jaejoong loomed over the couch behind Changmin, hands on his hips and dusty with flour. Finally, he poked Changmin, hard, in the back of the head. “Changmin!”
Changmin’s head bounced forward and his car drove off the course, allowing Yunho to pass him yet again. “Damn it, Jaejoong!”
Yoochun knew that wouldn’t work, either. Jaejoong just met it with a steady pout that tried to not give in to Yunho’s addictive laughter and focus on being mad at Changmin. “I make you your favorite cookies to go with Yunho’s favorite fudge and you just ignore me?” The pout grew as he got into character. “I don’t love you anymore. I’m feeding all your cookies to Yoochun.”
Yoochun whooped in ultimate triumph and promptly got tackled.
~
Two and a half weeks into crashing on their couch, Yoochun found himself home alone with Changmin. Jaejoong and Yunho were off on one of their seemingly common not-dates. “Why does he live with you and not Yunho? Wouldn’t it save on gas?”
Changmin looked at him like he was the world’s biggest idiot, but Yoochun just stared back with his puppy eyes of ‘I only just met you people!’ Changmin gave in first. “They’re kind of complicated. They’re completely soppy in love, yes, but Jaejoong-hyung has never been... good at relationships.”
Yoochun raised an eyebrow and promptly died in the video game. He put his controller down, more interested in the conversation than in dying for the hundredth time. Changmin needed to play against Junsu. The game would be epic if they didn’t kill each other in the process. “He seems pretty good at them right now.”
Changmin waved his comment off, switching to single player mode. “This doesn’t count.”
Right. Why did he ever expect Changmin to explain things on a level mere mortals could understand? “Why doesn’t this count?”
Changmin ignored him until he finished the level. Then he sat his controller down and leaned back, arms crossed. “Because right now, he can pretend it’s just a fling, still, and he’s just happy to see Yunho-hyung. It’s like this whenever he comes back from a long trip, or when they haven’t been together in a long time, or when Jaejoong-hyung is really drunk.”
He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, and Yoochun waited for him to continue. “I think he just likes punishing himself by being happy. Maybe for being happy. I know it doesn’t make sense, but you’d have to spend a lot more time around him than just a couple weeks to see it.”
Yoochun thought of those two depressed swans and thought maybe he already had.
~
A few days later, Yoochun got his first real taste of exactly what Changmin had meant about Jaejoong not being good at relationships.
The day before, Yunho had come to dinner and everything seemed fine until Yunho mentioned something cute his nephew had done or maybe cousin or honestly, Yoochun hadn’t been paying that close attention. He’d been too busy fighting a fork war with Changmin over the last dumpling. Yoochun won, but only because Changmin immediately stopped paying attention to him when Jaejoong abruptly stood and started clearing the table.
He had to get to work, he’d said, but they should come meet him at a club after his shift since none of them had work or class in the morning.
They’d agreed and Jaejoong had left and Yoochun had tried not to notice that Yunho’s smile had gone suspiciously brittle around the edges. It wasn’t his place.
Just like it also wasn’t his place to comment when they got to the club to find Jaejoong sitting in one man’s lap at the bar and talking animatedly with another.
“Hyung, maybe...” Had he ever heard Changmin sound that anxious before? He doubted it. Not that he had a large amount of experience, but anxiety just didn’t strike him as a very Changmin-ish emotion.
Yunho fixed them both with a very determined smile. “No, it’s fine. He wanted us to come out and meet him, didn’t he? Let’s go get drinks. Maybe we can get him to notice us for a while.”
The drinks turned out to be a success, but the noticing not so much. Except, it was obvious he had noticed them, with the tiny glances he kept sending their way. He just refused to acknowledge them, which became the bigger problem.
After an hour of Jaejoong deliberately not-ignoring them and Yunho sighing into his drink, Changmin had finally had enough. “Hyung, I want to go home.”
“Fine, here’s-”
“No.”
Yoochun perked up at the hard note in Changmin’s voice. Even Yunho seemed to actually start paying attention. “I thought you said-”
If anything, Changmin only frowned harder. “No, I’m not going home by myself and you’re not giving me your keys. We’re all three going home right now, and you’re going to stop torturing yourself by watching Jaejoong be an idiot.” He stood, expression expectant. He was not taking no for an answer.
Yoochun just watched Yunho, who eventually looked back at him with a weary smile and a shrug. “Guess he gets to be right once in a while.”
Changmin just snorted. “I’m always right. You’re all just usually too busy being stupid to notice.”
Yoochun was the only one who noticed the way Jaejoong watched them all the way out the door.
~
Jaejoong came home the next morning to change his clothes. He smelled like alcohol and sex. A quick shower and new outfit later, he was back out the door, saying he was going to spend the day at Yunho’s.
Changmin spent the day looking annoyed, which was a slight improvement over straight out pissed off, Yoochun decided. He mostly spent the day confused.
There was being bad at relationships, and then there was... whatever was going on with Yunho and Jaejoong. Not that he was one to talk, maybe, but he’d never slept around on Junsu. He just... refused to commit to not sleeping around. Like keeping his options open.
He sighed. How was that really so different if he kept stringing Junsu along, either way?
Changmin sat on his legs when he didn’t move them off the couch in time, starting up his game of choice for the week. “It wouldn’t be so annoying if Jaejoong would just stick with one or the other. If he wants to sleep around, fine, but why does he have to break hyung’s heart to do it?”
That was a very good question and not one Yoochun had been expecting to hear from Changmin. When Changmin had mentioned it briefly before, Yoochun had thought he’d been exaggerating. But he always knew Changmin was seriously upset when he started dropping the honorifics. It happened a surprising amount of the time around Jaejoong. “How long have they been doing this?”
“The whole love pogo stick thing?” Changmin took out a soldier with a headshot so precise Yoochun winced. “As long as I’ve known them. I told you they went to high school together. I don’t know exactly how long they knew each other before that, cause Jaejoong likes to pretend nothing existed before he was pretty.” He snorted. Another headshot. “Then Yunho-hyung went off to college and Jaejoong... didn’t. I don’t know why. He’s smart enough for it, even if he likes to act like he isn’t.”
Changmin shook his head, pausing the game to look at Yoochun. “He likes to play this stupid, pretty-boy act because he thinks it makes him more attractive or something. But sometimes I really wonder if he’s not actually an idiot.”
That was descriptive but useless. Yoochun knew about Jaejoong as well as anyone could after living with someone for only a couple of weeks. That still didn’t explain why Changmin was so upset.
“I actually met Yunho-hyung first. In college. He was in his last year, and we met at this little cafe, and I thought...” He blushed lightly, looking as embarrassed as Yoochun had seen him yet. Maybe there was more to this than just an annoyed and protective friend? “Anyway, then a couple weeks later I met Jaejoong. He was visiting because he broke his hand punching some guy in the face for trying to corner him in a bathroom. Since he couldn’t pour drinks with a broken hand, he took some time off and came to see Yunho-hyung.”
Another heartfelt sigh, and Yoochun almost felt sorry for the kid. “You’ve seen those two together. There’s no chance for anyone else.” Scratch that, Yoochun did feel sorry for him. “Not with hyung, anyway.” The anger came back, and Yoochun was amazingly surprised to find he actually preferred it. “Jaejoong probably slept with half the college before he went back to work.”
Yoochun didn’t know what to say or even if he was supposed to say anything, but apparently he didn’t have to. Changmin had found a silent audience, for the first time in who knew how long, and he was running with it. “And it’s the same thing every time. He goes back, and then breaks hyung’s heart, and then goes back again. I love Jaejoong, because he’s not a bad person, he’s just so stupid and why can’t he see what he’s wasting?”
“...Maybe he does see it?” Yoochun held up his hands in surrender, because Changmin sitting on his legs meant he couldn’t get away from that look. “I’m not saying he’s right! I’m just saying I understand. Love is pretty scary sometimes.”
Changmin huffed, turned off his game without even saving, and stomped into his room, leaving Yoochun alone on the couch with aching legs and more to think about than he could remember. The children looked at him sadly from their corner then winked out of sight.
~
Two days later, Jaejoong finally arrived back at the apartment with Yunho in tow and invited them all along to a club. He’d be going with them, this time. Changmin begged off, claiming a headache, and Yoochun almost wanted to as well, but Jaejoong just looked so pathetically sad at Changmin’s refusal that he couldn’t bring himself to add to it.
Instead, he found himself sitting in a booth with Yunho, watching the mass of dancers writhe and twist to the sounds of electronica and the flash of a strobe light. It wouldn’t have been Yoochun’s first choice, but Jaejoong was in his element, eyes bright and wild whenever he came back to their table to check in between songs. Yunho even seemed to be enjoying it, watching Jaejoong from his place at the table and smiling whenever Jaejoong turned back toward them.
Yoochun tried to pretend not to notice whenever the smile fell when Jaejoong danced too close to someone else. Or multiple someone elses.
As the night wore on, though, and the glasses piled up, most of them Jaejoong’s, it got harder. Yoochun watched Jaejoong on the dance floor, currently pressed up against a girl with another man all but glued to his back, then turned to watch Yunho watching Jaejoong. The look in his eyes was fond and sad and patient and... “How do you do it?”
Yunho smiled at him curiously. “Do what?”
“Wait for him?” He knew looks like that. Junsu wore them, when he felt especially sappy. Yunho’s was just sadder than usual. Yoochun had never realized what they meant before.
Yunho shook his head slightly. “I don’t know what you mean.” But his eyes drifted back to Jaejoong. Like two magnets. Or swans.
“Yes, you do.” He propped his chin in his hand, studying Yunho in the dim light. “He’s the only person in the world to you, and you’re...”
“And I’m not.” Yunho shrugged. “I’m not stupid or blind or anything else Changmin might have told you, Yoochun-ah. I’m just...” He chuckled. “Kind of hopeless, I guess. I know he’s going to leave every time, but that doesn’t make me any less happy when he comes home.”
Something tickled at the back of Yoochun’s mind, but he couldn’t pin it down. “Why?”
And Yunho smiled at him like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I love him.”
~
He thought long and hard about what Yunho had said and what he hadn’t. Changmin just gave him knowing looks or sometimes annoyed ones and Jaejoong barely noticed him at all, once again too tied up in Yunho to remember the world existed. Watching Yunho with Jaejoong, and watching Yunho watching Jaejoong gave him plenty more to think about, too.
Mostly, he thought about whether Junsu would be as patient as Yunho. Eventually he realized he already had been.
He also realized he hadn’t seen the creepy ghost kids in days. Not since that talk with Yunho at the club.
It was time to go home.
~
Saying his goodbyes had been quick enough. Jaejoong told him goodbye, Changmin said good riddance, and Yunho only good luck. He was going to miss all three of them, but they’d written down their phone numbers and made him promise to call. Jaejoong said something about knowing where to find him if he didn’t. Yoochun tried not to think about that too much, because Jaejoong was weird enough to hunt him down if he had to.
A too-short cab ride later, Yoochun found himself on the sidewalk in front his building, almost too scared to go in. He walked slowly up the steps to the house, realizing that while he’d somehow managed not to lose his house keys in the last month he also had no way of knowing if Junsu had changed the locks just to screw with him if he tried to come back. Only one way to find out, though.
His key turned in the lock like he’d never left.
The house was quiet and dark. Junsu obviously wasn’t home yet. Yoochun flipped on the entry hall light, looking around carefully just in case. Still no kids. He almost missed the note on the table, laying exactly where his had been. It was being held down by Yoochun’s cell phone.
Lost my Yoochun. Hoping he’ll wander home soon. If he returns before I do, tell him to make sure his ass stays put this time.
P.S. And a call once in a while wouldn't hurt. Ass.
P.P.S. Jaejoong says hi.
This entry was originally posted at http://envious-muses.dreamwidth.org/12394.html.
Fandom: DBSK
Pairing: YooSu main, YunJae, JaeChun, Jae/others, one-sided MinHo
Prompt: Runaways
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6069
Summary: Yoochun’s lost himself and doesn’t know where to look. Somehow, he doesn’t think finding himself again will be as easy as finding his glasses. On the way, he gets some help from a fellow commitment-phobe and his friends.
AN: Written, as the subject and tag say, for hc_bingo. Masterpost with game card is here.
AN2: No relation whatsoever to the book or movie of the same name. The title just stuck.
Yoochun was fairly certain he was going crazy. Or maybe he was haunted, but he'd only suggested that once, and Junsu had laughed so hard he'd fallen off the couch. Who, he'd wheezed once he could almost breathe again, would want to spend an afterlife with someone as boring as Yoochun?
But the fact remained that he was being followed. By a pair of really creepy children who tended to stare at him balefully whenever he was in the same room as Junsu. Not all the time, no, or even every day, but often enough that it was really starting to get to him. He'd taken to trying to ignore them, but how long could one ignore something like that? Junsu obviously couldn't see them, because the first time they'd appeared, when Yoochun had jumped and screamed (in a manly fashion, of course, and not at all like a prepubescent girl, no matter what Junsu said), Junsu had teased him for a week about seeing a mouse.
By the time the little bastards started watching him and Junsu having sex, he'd had it. He couldn't take it anymore. Maybe Junsu was the haunted one. Well, fine. If the undead anklebiters wanted him, they could have him. Not like Yoochun had any claim over him, right? Right.
He'd only met Junsu six months ago, after all. And sure they'd hit it off right away, and sure they'd spent more time on their third date making out than watching the movie, and yeah, okay, so maybe he'd been thrilled when Junsu mentioned needing a new roommate a month ago. (You could have the other bedroom for a studio, he'd said. Not like we'll need it.) That didn't mean anything. Not even if he'd never felt as strongly about anyone before. Nope. Not a thing.
He turned around, decision made, and jumped despite himself, pressing a hand to his chest. Little bastards were there again, between him and the bedroom. Maybe... maybe he'd just pack later, then.
~
Somehow, later became much later became maybe eventually became six MORE months later and Junsu talking about getting a house and the kids, now decked in a depressingly monochrome set of wedding clothes, were nearly constant companions.
He wondered if it was possible to kill ghosts again.
It wasn't that he didn't want to move in with Junsu and go shopping for furniture and buy each other 'promise' rings (You watch too many girly dramas, he'd told Junsu. Junsu hit him.), it was just that he'd never even thought of doing any of those things before, and frankly... those things were kind of terrifying. How could a person stay a 'him' when he became part of a 'they'?
Yoochun found himself asking that question more and more. And the more he asked the question, the more irritable he got with Junsu, and the more often he caught sight of the ghosts. After one night too many of staring up at the ceiling, Junsu snuggled up to him, purring softly in his sleep and drooling on Yoochun's shoulder, he gave up. Ghosts or no ghosts, he couldn't take this anymore. A better man would actually wait until the morning and talk about things, but... well, Yoochun never claimed to be a good person.
He didn't bother with packing. Either he'd come back for his stuff or Junsu could burn him in effigy with it, and really, at this point, he wouldn't blame him. He grabbed his wallet, hesitated over his phone before leaving it, and hesitated again at the door. He swore under his breath, glaring over his shoulder at the ghosts watching him from the end of the hallway. Fine.
He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off the entry table.
Lost myself. Gone to check the lost and found at the airport and maybe farther.
Don't wait up.
He didn’t bother signing it.
~~
He didn’t make it to the airport. Or, he did, but only as far as the lounge outside security. He sat, nursing a drink and thinking. The ghosts stared at him from a corner. No one else noticed them.
He’d always hated that song, the one about “how many roads must a man walk down,” largely because he’d never understood why radio stations had to play outdated American music when there was perfectly good modern stuff rotting away on the indie stations. Now it kept playing in his head, over and over, every round sounding more and more like two pre-teens with a vendetta against anything with ears. Hatred didn’t even describe his feelings adequately anymore. It was loathing, pure, unadulterated loathing...
He growled, mentally threatening to listen to nothing but Gregorian Chants for the rest of his life if they started in on showtunes.
That shut them up. Fucking undead anklebiters.
A fresh glass thunked to the bar directly in his line of sight. He automatically followed the impeccably manicured nails to the disgustingly buff arms to the face of the most beautiful man Yoochun had ever seen, and apparently also the bartender.
Beautiful smirked at him, like he was used to most of his customers staring a bit. “Consider that one on me. You look like you could use it.”
Yoochun blinked. At him, then at the drink. “You aren’t... the other guy?”
“Donghae? Naw, his shift is done. You’ve been there a while.” At least he wasn’t that drunk yet. “My name’s Jaejoong. You waiting on someone?”
Yoochun looked around, surprised when he noticed that, yes, the rest of the bar was empty enough that the bartender was probably bored. Jaejoong. Jaejoong was probably bored. It had been mildly full when he’d come in, but apparently the after-midnight crowd at the airport was mostly tired pilots and... well, lonely drunks like him. Not a huge selection. “Oh, uh, me. No. I’m... just here. I guess.”
Jaejoong raised an eyebrow like that wasn’t exactly the standard response. “Right. Well, if you tell me your name, I’ll tell you when my shift gets off, and you can be?”
Yoochun blinked, wondering if he’d actually just been hit on. He must have taken too long about it because Jaejoong suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Wait. You’re straight, aren’t you. Shit, I’m sorry. I-”
“No! No, I mean...” Yoochun cleared his throat, wondering what ever possessed him to answer so fervently. “No, I’m just.. coming off of... something.” Right. “I’m Yoochun.” This was such a bad idea.
Jaejoong looked like he wasn’t sure which part of that to comment on, but then he stuck with the safest bit. “Nice to meet you, Yoochun. I’m done at two, tonight.”
It was a date.
~~
It didn’t turn out to be a date so much as a lot of groping as soon as they were in the door to Jaejoong’s apartment. Yoochun’s brain had given up about five shots before his liver had, so it was easy to imagine Junsu’s shoulders and Junsu’s hips and Junsu’s mouth instead of Jaejoong’s. At least until Jaejoong moaned and pulled Yoochun against him.
He broke away, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Jaejoong eyed him, much more sober than Yoochun. “Can’t can’t or can’t won’t?”
Did it really matter? “Both, I guess? I’m sorry. I should-”
“You don’t have anyplace to go, do you? So stay here. You can sleep on the couch.”
Yoochun knew he was staring, but his very drunken brain didn’t care that it was rude. Even when he’d been in the practice of regular one-night stands, none of them had ever offered to let him stay on their couch.
Jaejoong fidgeted. “What? You don’t, do you?”
“Um... no?”
“Then stay. I’ll get you a pair of sweats to sleep in and some blankets. You can buy me breakfast in the morning to make up for it.” Jaejoong left to do exactly that, leaving Yoochun to stare after him, still confused. Maybe things would make more sense in the morning when he was more sober.
~
Things did not make more sense in the morning, even mostly sober. Part of that may have been caused by the unfortunate way in which he was woken up.
“For God’s sake, hyung, we had a deal!”
Yoochun shot bolt upright at the shout, then flopped back down like a dying fish, hands clutching his head.
“HYUNG!”
Wouldn’t somebody think of his poor head and make it stop?!
He vaguely heard a few stumbling steps and a door creaking open. “You’re Buddhist, Changmin. Stop swearing by people you don’t believe in.”
The angry voice got even angrier, somehow. “Stop being pedantic. We had a deal, and you broke it.”
There was a pause and a yawn and then someone was nudging his feet out of the way to sit on the couch. He whimpered.
“This is Yoochun. He doesn’t count.”
He slitted his eyes open to find that the beautiful bartender apparently had an equally stunning... roommate? Lover? ...Thing? Maybe he was still a little drunk.
The stunning owner of the angry voice didn’t seem to share Jaejoong’s opinion on the matter. “You brought someone home, hyung. While I was home. Asleep. In my bed. Innocent as new-fallen snow-”
Jaejoong snorted. “You’ve never been innocent and you know it, Mr. Pornography.”
His cheeks flamed scarlet as he glanced at Yoochun but otherwise he ignored Jaejoong’s interjection. “And completely unsuspecting that I might wake up to find some random guy sleeping on our couch. Deal. We had one. That you stabbed in the back and left to die in a gutter.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes, finally looking at Yoochun. “Sorry. Changmin’s a little over-dramatic in the mornings. You can buy him breakfast, too, and make up for crashing on the couch.”
Was Yoochun supposed to have an answer for that? “Okay?”
The offer of breakfast somehow actually seemed to work. Changmin glared and stomped back into what Yoochun assumed was his room, and Jaejoong draped himself across his half of the couch. “Really, don’t mind Changmin. I did promise I wouldn’t bring any more guys over to have sex when he was home, but we didn’t have sex, so technically, I’m still right.”
Yoochun wasn’t sure how he knew, but at that moment, he was positive he never wanted to make any deals with Jaejoong.
~
Yoochun had no idea anyone could ever eat so much. He might have actually had to protest buying Changmin breakfast if he’d known.
He’d also caught sight of the children standing in the road as they walked to the restaurant. They looked sadder than usual. He looked away as a car drove through them.
They’d no sooner settled into a booth in the restaurant and gotten their food than Jaejoong started watching him closely. “What are you running from, anyway?”
Changmin pretended to studiously ignore them in favor of his rice.
Yoochun gaped. “Who says I’m running from anything?”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “I talk to a lot of people in my job, okay? Very few of them show up at an airport bar just to get drunk if they aren’t running away from something. Are you a murderer? Did you rob a bank?”
Changmin was forced to give up his impartiality when he choked on a noodle. “Hyung! You didn’t think to ask that BEFORE you brought him home?”
Jaejoong shrugged, completely unabashed and seemingly uncaring of Yoochun’s trapped stare. “What? He was drunk. I wasn’t going to get anything good out of him when he was floppy, and he’s hot.”
Changmin sighed and something flashed over his expression too quickly for Yoochun to catch. “Hyung...”
Jaejoong bristled. “Don’t start. It’s my apartment, too, and I didn’t sleep with him, so you can just take your self-righteous bullshit and shove it.” He stood up with a huff. “I’m going shopping. I need new boots. Don’t kick him out until I get home.”
He flounced off. Yoochun had thought he’d seen some good flounces in his life, Junsu was a master of them, but that... that was a flounce. He turned guiltily to Changmin, opening his mouth to ask for an explanation or to apologize or maybe a little of both, but Changmin stopped him with a shake of his head. “Don’t bother. It’s not your fault, and since I can’t kick you out, I’d rather you didn’t say anything stupid that made me want to.”
He paused and looked Yoochun over critically. “I don’t think you could murder anyone, anyway.”
“...Thanks?” Was that an insult?
“You’re welcome. Are you going to eat that last waffle?”
~
Jaejoong didn’t come back that night. Changmin said he probably just went straight to work after spending an afternoon on something called ‘retail therapy.’ Changmin spent the afternoon on kicking Yoochun’s ass at Mario Kart.
There was something decidedly off about this household, Yoochun decided around the third round of ass-kicking. Maybe they were just roommates, but they didn’t fight like roommates. And Changmin had only been upset that Yoochun existed, not that Jaejoong was going to sleep with him, so they weren’t lovers.
His character went flying off the track into oblivion. Maybe he should ponder these things later.
~
Changmin was on his way to bed when the questions finally started bothering Yoochun too much. He followed to stand awkwardly in the doorway to Changmin’s room. It was nice, much better furnished than the rest of the apartment, and surprisingly tasteful. He didn’t know why it was surprising. Maybe he just thought anyone who was that good at Mario Kart shouldn’t have a room that looked like it came straight out of ‘Home and Garden.’
Changmin raised an eyebrow, obviously about to close his door in Yoochun’s face if he didn’t say something soon. Yoochun definitely didn’t feel like having a door closed in his face. “I know you’re kind of the wrong person to ask, but-”
“Because he’s hopeless.”
Yoochun blinked. “What?”
“Because Jaejoong is hopeless.” Changmin was giving him a look like he was completely stupid not to have noticed it himself already. “You were going to ask why you’re here or something like that, right? Because Jaejoong is completely and utterly hopeless when it comes to sob stories. Even if you never told him you have one. He can just tell. Like a dog.”
Yoochun automatically looked over his shoulder to find the kids, as always, watching him like cockroaches. He turned back to find Changmin watching him oddly. Right. “But he-”
“No, he didn’t know anything about you. He just knows. I said that, so listen if you’re going to start asking questions.” He hadn’t asked any questions yet, Yoochun thought rebelliously. “He thinks he can fix everybody. He likes to try. I like him to be happy. So as long as you don’t ruin the chances of the latter, I don’t care if you stick around. Okay?”
Was he supposed to say something now? “Okay?”
Changmin frowned. “You’re not even trying.”
No. No, he wasn’t. Yoochun wondered if Changmin knew how right he was.
~
One week into crashing on their couch, Jaejoong had an announcement. “Yunho,” he said grandly, “is coming home tomorrow, and we’re going to meet him. Although I don’t know why he wants to see you, too, Changmin. You’re lame.”
Changmin, who’d torn Jaejoong’s heart out in Mortal Kombat three times before dinner, snorted into his noodles. Yoochun, on the other hand, just looked between the two of them. Obviously, this name was supposed to mean something, but he hadn’t the faintest idea what.
Thanks to Jaejoong working nights and Changmin working whenever his class schedule would allow, he’d gotten to spend a surprising amount of time with one or both of them over the last week. He’d called his agent after two days and lied about losing his phone to get around why he hadn’t called for nearly a week. He didn’t have any pressing deadlines and asked the man to refrain from getting him any new ones for a little while. Mental health reasons, he said. Long vacation. It wasn’t exactly a lie. But that left him with nothing better to do than play video games and talk to whichever of the two was around.
Changmin, he’d found, was ruthless and mean and cared more deeply about the people in his life, specifically Jaejoong, than he’d ever admit. He also had a venomous wit that sometimes hit a little too close to home. Jaejoong was almost the exact opposite. He was warm and friendly and a little motherly and sometimes... promiscuous, although Yoochun could probably use a stronger word. Jaejoong was easy to fall in love with.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t, just a little.
But one thing he hadn’t learned about was any person named Yunho. “Who’s he?”He suddenly found himself on the receiving end of two incredulous stares. “What? It’s an honest question. I’ve only lived here for a week!”
This time they looked at each other. Eventually, Jaejoong shrugged a little. Changmin shook his head, but it was fond. Mostly. “Yunho-hyung went to school with Jaejoong-hyung. They were best friends.” There was a hesitation before ‘best friends’ but Yoochun wasn’t sure what to make of it. “He’s been gone on a business trip to Japan for the better part of a month.”
“And he refuses to let me run up a huge phone bill calling him when he’s out of the country. Stupid son of a CEO. Anyway. I think I might make his favorite lunch tomorrow.”
Jaejoong nattered on about everything and nothing, Yunho’s favorite foods, what time they had to meet him, what he liked to watch on TV, his favorite games that even Changmin couldn’t beat him at, and eventually Yoochun just sort of tuned it out. It may have only been a week, but he couldn’t wait to meet the person who could make Jaejoong act like that.
~
There was a small park just outside the airport that they’d agreed to meet at. Changmin had refused to deal with the crowds in the airport itself, no matter how much Jaejoong pouted and wanted to meet Yunho coming straight out of Customs. While they stood around waiting, Yoochun felt more and more like a third wheel. He figured it was probably part of Jaejoong ‘fixing’ him or whatever, but he really didn’t know why he’d been invited along. Or, less invited and more kidnapped.
A tiny figure became visible, crossing the street and entering the park, dragging more luggage than was probably healthy. As the figure got closer, it resolved into a strikingly handsome man around their age, and tall, probably at least as tall as Changmin, who was already freakishly tall.
“Yunho!” Jaejoong’s face lit up as he dashed across the park. Obviously this was who they were meeting. Now, Yoochun suddenly felt like a homewrecker.
Jaejoong hugged Yunho and kissed his cheek and started leading him over to them, chattering excitedly. That was when Yoochun noticed something odd. He turned away to check, and no, his undead anklebiters were right where they had been, now back in street clothes, although the girl still held her bouquet.
But following Yunho and Jaejoong were a pair of depressed-looking swans. One had a bow tie and top hat. No one else seemed to notice them. Especially not Jaejoong. If he’d noticed anything but Yunho’s eyes, Yoochun would have been shocked.
One of the swans hissed at the children. The girl threw her bouquet at it. Yoochun realized he was being talked to and hadn’t heard a word of it.
He jerked back to the conversation to find Jaejoong staring at him oddly and Changmin shaking his head. He wondered, sometimes, what Changmin thought of him. He was very good at keeping his counsel to himself. “What’d I miss?”
Jaejoong huffed the largest sigh Yoochun had ever heard. “Only everything. Good job. Aaaaaaanyway. Again. Yoochun, this is Yunho.”
Somehow, that came out sounding like ‘Yoochun, keep your paws off.’ He wondered if Jaejoong realized he did that, then thought no, probably not. “Right. I... haven’t heard all that much about you, actually, but it’s mostly been good.”
Yunho had kind of an amazing smile. Maybe Jaejoong’s ‘paws off’ message was more necessary than he’d thought. “Mostly?”
He shrugged. “Well, you know. Changmin.”
Yunho had kind of an amazing laugh, too. Not as amazing as Junsu’s, but-
Yoochun cut that thought off before he got distracted again. The ghosts, who had perked up for a minute, went back to sulking.
Yunho’s amazing laugh made his eyes sparkle. Yoochun could also see why Jaejoong had such a hard time looking away. “Right. You shouldn’t believe anything Changmin says about anyone.”
“Yah, hyung...”
“He’s a grinch, you see. We had him tested once.” He ducked away from Changmin’s fist, putting Jaejoong between them to use as a human shield. It backfired when Jaejoong just punched them both.
Yoochun laughed at Yunho’s pout of ultimate sorry. He no longer felt like he was a homewrecker or a third wheel, at least. Now if he could just stop thinking about how much better this could be if someone wasn’t missing...
~
Yunho, Yoochun quickly decided, was either the world’s most deliberately charismatic person, or the most genuine. He thought it was the latter. Either way, he’d have happily followed him to the ends of earth after only knowing him for two days.
Plus, he could beat Changmin at Mario Kart.
Then again, part of that could be Jaejoong distracting Changmin on Yunho’s behalf. Sometimes he wondered if Changmin didn’t have just a little bit of a crush on Jaejoong, too, all appearances to the contrary.
“Minniiiiiiiiiiiiiie~” Changmin gritted his teeth, apparently determined to ignore Jaejoong and win this round. Even Yoochun knew that was a doomed endeavor. “Changmiiiiiiiiiiiiin-aaaaaaaaaah!” Yoochun snickered, waiting for what was surely coming as Jaejoong loomed over the couch behind Changmin, hands on his hips and dusty with flour. Finally, he poked Changmin, hard, in the back of the head. “Changmin!”
Changmin’s head bounced forward and his car drove off the course, allowing Yunho to pass him yet again. “Damn it, Jaejoong!”
Yoochun knew that wouldn’t work, either. Jaejoong just met it with a steady pout that tried to not give in to Yunho’s addictive laughter and focus on being mad at Changmin. “I make you your favorite cookies to go with Yunho’s favorite fudge and you just ignore me?” The pout grew as he got into character. “I don’t love you anymore. I’m feeding all your cookies to Yoochun.”
Yoochun whooped in ultimate triumph and promptly got tackled.
~
Two and a half weeks into crashing on their couch, Yoochun found himself home alone with Changmin. Jaejoong and Yunho were off on one of their seemingly common not-dates. “Why does he live with you and not Yunho? Wouldn’t it save on gas?”
Changmin looked at him like he was the world’s biggest idiot, but Yoochun just stared back with his puppy eyes of ‘I only just met you people!’ Changmin gave in first. “They’re kind of complicated. They’re completely soppy in love, yes, but Jaejoong-hyung has never been... good at relationships.”
Yoochun raised an eyebrow and promptly died in the video game. He put his controller down, more interested in the conversation than in dying for the hundredth time. Changmin needed to play against Junsu. The game would be epic if they didn’t kill each other in the process. “He seems pretty good at them right now.”
Changmin waved his comment off, switching to single player mode. “This doesn’t count.”
Right. Why did he ever expect Changmin to explain things on a level mere mortals could understand? “Why doesn’t this count?”
Changmin ignored him until he finished the level. Then he sat his controller down and leaned back, arms crossed. “Because right now, he can pretend it’s just a fling, still, and he’s just happy to see Yunho-hyung. It’s like this whenever he comes back from a long trip, or when they haven’t been together in a long time, or when Jaejoong-hyung is really drunk.”
He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, and Yoochun waited for him to continue. “I think he just likes punishing himself by being happy. Maybe for being happy. I know it doesn’t make sense, but you’d have to spend a lot more time around him than just a couple weeks to see it.”
Yoochun thought of those two depressed swans and thought maybe he already had.
~
A few days later, Yoochun got his first real taste of exactly what Changmin had meant about Jaejoong not being good at relationships.
The day before, Yunho had come to dinner and everything seemed fine until Yunho mentioned something cute his nephew had done or maybe cousin or honestly, Yoochun hadn’t been paying that close attention. He’d been too busy fighting a fork war with Changmin over the last dumpling. Yoochun won, but only because Changmin immediately stopped paying attention to him when Jaejoong abruptly stood and started clearing the table.
He had to get to work, he’d said, but they should come meet him at a club after his shift since none of them had work or class in the morning.
They’d agreed and Jaejoong had left and Yoochun had tried not to notice that Yunho’s smile had gone suspiciously brittle around the edges. It wasn’t his place.
Just like it also wasn’t his place to comment when they got to the club to find Jaejoong sitting in one man’s lap at the bar and talking animatedly with another.
“Hyung, maybe...” Had he ever heard Changmin sound that anxious before? He doubted it. Not that he had a large amount of experience, but anxiety just didn’t strike him as a very Changmin-ish emotion.
Yunho fixed them both with a very determined smile. “No, it’s fine. He wanted us to come out and meet him, didn’t he? Let’s go get drinks. Maybe we can get him to notice us for a while.”
The drinks turned out to be a success, but the noticing not so much. Except, it was obvious he had noticed them, with the tiny glances he kept sending their way. He just refused to acknowledge them, which became the bigger problem.
After an hour of Jaejoong deliberately not-ignoring them and Yunho sighing into his drink, Changmin had finally had enough. “Hyung, I want to go home.”
“Fine, here’s-”
“No.”
Yoochun perked up at the hard note in Changmin’s voice. Even Yunho seemed to actually start paying attention. “I thought you said-”
If anything, Changmin only frowned harder. “No, I’m not going home by myself and you’re not giving me your keys. We’re all three going home right now, and you’re going to stop torturing yourself by watching Jaejoong be an idiot.” He stood, expression expectant. He was not taking no for an answer.
Yoochun just watched Yunho, who eventually looked back at him with a weary smile and a shrug. “Guess he gets to be right once in a while.”
Changmin just snorted. “I’m always right. You’re all just usually too busy being stupid to notice.”
Yoochun was the only one who noticed the way Jaejoong watched them all the way out the door.
~
Jaejoong came home the next morning to change his clothes. He smelled like alcohol and sex. A quick shower and new outfit later, he was back out the door, saying he was going to spend the day at Yunho’s.
Changmin spent the day looking annoyed, which was a slight improvement over straight out pissed off, Yoochun decided. He mostly spent the day confused.
There was being bad at relationships, and then there was... whatever was going on with Yunho and Jaejoong. Not that he was one to talk, maybe, but he’d never slept around on Junsu. He just... refused to commit to not sleeping around. Like keeping his options open.
He sighed. How was that really so different if he kept stringing Junsu along, either way?
Changmin sat on his legs when he didn’t move them off the couch in time, starting up his game of choice for the week. “It wouldn’t be so annoying if Jaejoong would just stick with one or the other. If he wants to sleep around, fine, but why does he have to break hyung’s heart to do it?”
That was a very good question and not one Yoochun had been expecting to hear from Changmin. When Changmin had mentioned it briefly before, Yoochun had thought he’d been exaggerating. But he always knew Changmin was seriously upset when he started dropping the honorifics. It happened a surprising amount of the time around Jaejoong. “How long have they been doing this?”
“The whole love pogo stick thing?” Changmin took out a soldier with a headshot so precise Yoochun winced. “As long as I’ve known them. I told you they went to high school together. I don’t know exactly how long they knew each other before that, cause Jaejoong likes to pretend nothing existed before he was pretty.” He snorted. Another headshot. “Then Yunho-hyung went off to college and Jaejoong... didn’t. I don’t know why. He’s smart enough for it, even if he likes to act like he isn’t.”
Changmin shook his head, pausing the game to look at Yoochun. “He likes to play this stupid, pretty-boy act because he thinks it makes him more attractive or something. But sometimes I really wonder if he’s not actually an idiot.”
That was descriptive but useless. Yoochun knew about Jaejoong as well as anyone could after living with someone for only a couple of weeks. That still didn’t explain why Changmin was so upset.
“I actually met Yunho-hyung first. In college. He was in his last year, and we met at this little cafe, and I thought...” He blushed lightly, looking as embarrassed as Yoochun had seen him yet. Maybe there was more to this than just an annoyed and protective friend? “Anyway, then a couple weeks later I met Jaejoong. He was visiting because he broke his hand punching some guy in the face for trying to corner him in a bathroom. Since he couldn’t pour drinks with a broken hand, he took some time off and came to see Yunho-hyung.”
Another heartfelt sigh, and Yoochun almost felt sorry for the kid. “You’ve seen those two together. There’s no chance for anyone else.” Scratch that, Yoochun did feel sorry for him. “Not with hyung, anyway.” The anger came back, and Yoochun was amazingly surprised to find he actually preferred it. “Jaejoong probably slept with half the college before he went back to work.”
Yoochun didn’t know what to say or even if he was supposed to say anything, but apparently he didn’t have to. Changmin had found a silent audience, for the first time in who knew how long, and he was running with it. “And it’s the same thing every time. He goes back, and then breaks hyung’s heart, and then goes back again. I love Jaejoong, because he’s not a bad person, he’s just so stupid and why can’t he see what he’s wasting?”
“...Maybe he does see it?” Yoochun held up his hands in surrender, because Changmin sitting on his legs meant he couldn’t get away from that look. “I’m not saying he’s right! I’m just saying I understand. Love is pretty scary sometimes.”
Changmin huffed, turned off his game without even saving, and stomped into his room, leaving Yoochun alone on the couch with aching legs and more to think about than he could remember. The children looked at him sadly from their corner then winked out of sight.
~
Two days later, Jaejoong finally arrived back at the apartment with Yunho in tow and invited them all along to a club. He’d be going with them, this time. Changmin begged off, claiming a headache, and Yoochun almost wanted to as well, but Jaejoong just looked so pathetically sad at Changmin’s refusal that he couldn’t bring himself to add to it.
Instead, he found himself sitting in a booth with Yunho, watching the mass of dancers writhe and twist to the sounds of electronica and the flash of a strobe light. It wouldn’t have been Yoochun’s first choice, but Jaejoong was in his element, eyes bright and wild whenever he came back to their table to check in between songs. Yunho even seemed to be enjoying it, watching Jaejoong from his place at the table and smiling whenever Jaejoong turned back toward them.
Yoochun tried to pretend not to notice whenever the smile fell when Jaejoong danced too close to someone else. Or multiple someone elses.
As the night wore on, though, and the glasses piled up, most of them Jaejoong’s, it got harder. Yoochun watched Jaejoong on the dance floor, currently pressed up against a girl with another man all but glued to his back, then turned to watch Yunho watching Jaejoong. The look in his eyes was fond and sad and patient and... “How do you do it?”
Yunho smiled at him curiously. “Do what?”
“Wait for him?” He knew looks like that. Junsu wore them, when he felt especially sappy. Yunho’s was just sadder than usual. Yoochun had never realized what they meant before.
Yunho shook his head slightly. “I don’t know what you mean.” But his eyes drifted back to Jaejoong. Like two magnets. Or swans.
“Yes, you do.” He propped his chin in his hand, studying Yunho in the dim light. “He’s the only person in the world to you, and you’re...”
“And I’m not.” Yunho shrugged. “I’m not stupid or blind or anything else Changmin might have told you, Yoochun-ah. I’m just...” He chuckled. “Kind of hopeless, I guess. I know he’s going to leave every time, but that doesn’t make me any less happy when he comes home.”
Something tickled at the back of Yoochun’s mind, but he couldn’t pin it down. “Why?”
And Yunho smiled at him like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I love him.”
~
He thought long and hard about what Yunho had said and what he hadn’t. Changmin just gave him knowing looks or sometimes annoyed ones and Jaejoong barely noticed him at all, once again too tied up in Yunho to remember the world existed. Watching Yunho with Jaejoong, and watching Yunho watching Jaejoong gave him plenty more to think about, too.
Mostly, he thought about whether Junsu would be as patient as Yunho. Eventually he realized he already had been.
He also realized he hadn’t seen the creepy ghost kids in days. Not since that talk with Yunho at the club.
It was time to go home.
~
Saying his goodbyes had been quick enough. Jaejoong told him goodbye, Changmin said good riddance, and Yunho only good luck. He was going to miss all three of them, but they’d written down their phone numbers and made him promise to call. Jaejoong said something about knowing where to find him if he didn’t. Yoochun tried not to think about that too much, because Jaejoong was weird enough to hunt him down if he had to.
A too-short cab ride later, Yoochun found himself on the sidewalk in front his building, almost too scared to go in. He walked slowly up the steps to the house, realizing that while he’d somehow managed not to lose his house keys in the last month he also had no way of knowing if Junsu had changed the locks just to screw with him if he tried to come back. Only one way to find out, though.
His key turned in the lock like he’d never left.
The house was quiet and dark. Junsu obviously wasn’t home yet. Yoochun flipped on the entry hall light, looking around carefully just in case. Still no kids. He almost missed the note on the table, laying exactly where his had been. It was being held down by Yoochun’s cell phone.
Lost my Yoochun. Hoping he’ll wander home soon. If he returns before I do, tell him to make sure his ass stays put this time.
P.S. And a call once in a while wouldn't hurt. Ass.
P.P.S. Jaejoong says hi.
This entry was originally posted at http://envious-muses.dreamwidth.org/12394.html.