Fic: Wild West, Motherfucker
Title: Wild West, Motherfucker
Fandoms: Death Proof/Firefly
Pairing: gen
Rating: R (language & violence)
Word Count: 540
Written for: razycrandomgirl for whedonland's giftgiving challenge
A/N: Pre-series for Firefly, totes AU for Death Proof.
They lose track of Zoë somewhere on Sihnon.
Kim is about to shit a brick herself, but she’s got to hold it together, or Abernathy will come undone, too.
“No fuckin’ way. We’re not leaving without her.” Now, a pissed off Abernathy -- that is something Kim knows how to deal with.
“Abby, she knows we have a deadline with the buyer on Greenleaf. More than likely, she’ll meet us there. And if we don’t show up, someone else will jump our claim.”
“Fuck the deal,” Abby says viciously.
“Ok, yeah, sure, let me put that at the top of the list,” Kim replies. “Fuck the deal. And, hey, while we’re at it, also: fuck the clothes on your back, fuck the food in your mouth, fuck the ammo in your weapon, and fuck the fucking fuel we fucking float around on!”
Abby’s voice is tight when she responds. “If I didn’t love you so much, you’d have a fucking bloody nose right now.”
Kim chooses to take it as a sign of acquiescence. “We’ll be fine, and so will she. Besides, you know if we hang around here looking for her, bitch will be cooling her heels on Greenleaf, just waiting for us to show up so she can chew our asses out for not pushing the deal through.”
“Yeah, she would.” A small smile flickers faintly on Abernathy’s face.
Kim hates to say it, the words shredding her throat raw as they rise up, but their timeline doesn’t allow for any wiggle room, so -- “Let’s move.”
“Give me the bag, and nobody here has to get hurt.” The big guy has Abernathy by the throat.
“Oh, somebody’s getting hurt, all right.” Kim cocks her gun.
He growls deep in his throat, pushes his gun a little further into Abby’s ribs. “I stole it first.”
“I stole it better,” Kim replies. Abby coughs. “We stole it better,” Kim corrects.
His brow furrows, like he doesn’t understand why they’re not cowering in fear. “Jayne Cobb has never been bested by a ruttin’ woman in his life, and I ain’t plannin’ on startin’ now.”
“Jayne is a girl’s name,” Kim says.
“Jayne ain’t a girl!” He’s getting a little pissed off now, jerking Abernathy hard enough that she’s having trouble keeping her balance.
“Yeah, I had noticed that.” Kim leers at him. Then she fires her gun.
He hits the dirt, and Abby crouches over him.
“Aw, Kim, you didn’t have to shoot him! He wasn’t really going to hurt me,” Abby admonishes.
“I know. That’s why I only shot him in the arm,” Kim replies. “In a few weeks, he’ll have forgotten this ever happened, and he’ll be back to messing with people he shouldn’t be messing with.”
Abby sighs and stands up, brushing dust from her hands.
“Hey, guys!!!” Zoë has appeared from somewhere within one of the local establishments and is jogging toward them, waving her arms wildly. “I heard a gunshot, and figured you’d finally gotten your lazy asses here!”
Kim and Abby exchange a look.
“What’d I miss?” Zoë barely spares a glance at the man who’s pushing himself up off the ground, giving Kim a fierce hug before sweeping Abernathy off her feet.
Fandoms: Death Proof/Firefly
Pairing: gen
Rating: R (language & violence)
Word Count: 540
Written for: razycrandomgirl for whedonland's giftgiving challenge
A/N: Pre-series for Firefly, totes AU for Death Proof.
They lose track of Zoë somewhere on Sihnon.
Kim is about to shit a brick herself, but she’s got to hold it together, or Abernathy will come undone, too.
“No fuckin’ way. We’re not leaving without her.” Now, a pissed off Abernathy -- that is something Kim knows how to deal with.
“Abby, she knows we have a deadline with the buyer on Greenleaf. More than likely, she’ll meet us there. And if we don’t show up, someone else will jump our claim.”
“Fuck the deal,” Abby says viciously.
“Ok, yeah, sure, let me put that at the top of the list,” Kim replies. “Fuck the deal. And, hey, while we’re at it, also: fuck the clothes on your back, fuck the food in your mouth, fuck the ammo in your weapon, and fuck the fucking fuel we fucking float around on!”
Abby’s voice is tight when she responds. “If I didn’t love you so much, you’d have a fucking bloody nose right now.”
Kim chooses to take it as a sign of acquiescence. “We’ll be fine, and so will she. Besides, you know if we hang around here looking for her, bitch will be cooling her heels on Greenleaf, just waiting for us to show up so she can chew our asses out for not pushing the deal through.”
“Yeah, she would.” A small smile flickers faintly on Abernathy’s face.
Kim hates to say it, the words shredding her throat raw as they rise up, but their timeline doesn’t allow for any wiggle room, so -- “Let’s move.”
“Give me the bag, and nobody here has to get hurt.” The big guy has Abernathy by the throat.
“Oh, somebody’s getting hurt, all right.” Kim cocks her gun.
He growls deep in his throat, pushes his gun a little further into Abby’s ribs. “I stole it first.”
“I stole it better,” Kim replies. Abby coughs. “We stole it better,” Kim corrects.
His brow furrows, like he doesn’t understand why they’re not cowering in fear. “Jayne Cobb has never been bested by a ruttin’ woman in his life, and I ain’t plannin’ on startin’ now.”
“Jayne is a girl’s name,” Kim says.
“Jayne ain’t a girl!” He’s getting a little pissed off now, jerking Abernathy hard enough that she’s having trouble keeping her balance.
“Yeah, I had noticed that.” Kim leers at him. Then she fires her gun.
He hits the dirt, and Abby crouches over him.
“Aw, Kim, you didn’t have to shoot him! He wasn’t really going to hurt me,” Abby admonishes.
“I know. That’s why I only shot him in the arm,” Kim replies. “In a few weeks, he’ll have forgotten this ever happened, and he’ll be back to messing with people he shouldn’t be messing with.”
Abby sighs and stands up, brushing dust from her hands.
“Hey, guys!!!” Zoë has appeared from somewhere within one of the local establishments and is jogging toward them, waving her arms wildly. “I heard a gunshot, and figured you’d finally gotten your lazy asses here!”
Kim and Abby exchange a look.
“What’d I miss?” Zoë barely spares a glance at the man who’s pushing himself up off the ground, giving Kim a fierce hug before sweeping Abernathy off her feet.