Story: What We Call Normal Part I
If there was ever an appropriate time to get contemplative right after sex, it was on an anniversary. So Daniel lay sprawled out, tangled up with his lover, and considered the significance of their anniversary.
One year. A year since SG-1 got back from fishing in Minnesota and Daniel was supposed to thank Jack for the ride and vacation and get out of his truck, but had kissed him instead. A year since they went back to his apartment and had a frank conversation, which had then led to a relationship.
It hadn’t always been easy. Daniel may have spent eight years basically ignoring his bisexuality (a consequence of working for the Air Force), but Jack was a career Air Force officer. That meant Jack had spent his entire adult life completely repressing any suspicion that he might not be completely straight. It also meant that they had to be careful to the point of paranoia.
“Daniel?” asked Jack in a voice that meant he’d been thinking too.
“Yes?”
Jack looked right at him the way that always made Daniel feel like Jack could see into his very soul. “What would you say if I retired?”
That he had not seen coming, and he said the first thing that sprung to mind. “I’d say you’d get bored quickly.”
“True,” conceded Jack, “but I managed the first time.”
“Any particular reason you’re thinking about retirement?”
“Rank hath its privileges. It also hath too much paperwork.”
“Really.” He wasn’t convinced, despite Jack’s dislike of paperwork.
“Working at SGC isn’t as much fun when you hardly ever get to go through the gate.”
“So you’ve told me.”
Jack fidgeted with a corner of his pillow. “Plus you could move in.”
He’d suspected their relationship had something to do with it, but he was somehow still surprised. “You want me to move in?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be an activist or anything. I’m just sick of skulking around. So I got to thinking, why am I doing all this skulking? To push paper and deal with politicians? Not a good trade.”
“You want to retire because of me?” He was awed and humbled and oh, so in love with Jack.
“When you say it that way, it makes me sound selfless.”
“It’s not?” asked Daniel, still absorbing the information. It seemed more than a little surreal that Jack would give up SGC for him. Daniel had never asked or expected that of him. SGC was his life, and to give that up… for once, words failed Daniel.
“I could grope you in the movie theater.”
“Maybe.” He’d never been a fan, but if Jack was going to retire he might rethink the idea.
“It wouldn’t feel like a stealth mission on a Goa’uld mothership every time we go out on a date.”
That would be great, of course, but he didn’t want to be hasty. “But Jack -”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
“Alright, I won’t.”
“It’s my decision, but…”
A year ago Daniel might have pressed, but he knew better now. If Jack started the conversation, he’d finish it, but it had to be on his own time.
“… it’s not just about me.”
“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” Suddenly, he hoped it wasn’t possible to somehow go through a quantum mirror without actually having one.
“That depends. If you think I’m asking if you’ll reconsider dragging me to that pottery shards exhibit, no. Good guess though.”
“Jack.”
“Daniel.”
“You don’t need my permission to retire.” Jack nodded just a tiny bit, but that wasn’t all he needed to hear. “And you certainly don’t need to retire on my account. But if that’s what you decide, once it’s official, I’ll head over to the post office.”
“Post office?”
“For a change of address form.”
Jack’s smile exploded out like the event horizon of the stargate, full of energy and potential.
*****
While he waited for the phone call that he knew was coming as soon as Hammond got his email, Jack was trying not to worry. True, he was perfectly within his rights to resign his command and retire. And he had no obligation to tell the Air Force why he was retiring. But he was still afraid it could all go terribly wrong.
Things weren’t all bad. He was finally convinced that Rosnik was a good guy and worthy of being on SG-1. It helped that, while given no choice over having a Russian on SG-1, Jack and Carter had been allowed to have final say on which Russian. Ba’al had been forced to keep a low profile. Desertion among his ranks was really cramping his galaxy-conquering plans, especially when a Jaffa rebellion destroyed his little supersoldier factory. It had been some six weeks since any SG personnel had been taken hostage, which was probably a record. And he was happy with Daniel; happier than he had been since Charlie died. Now all he had to do was manage a nice, quiet transition to civilian life.
It was time to stop living in fear of being found out and retirement was the only way to do that. He knew that what he and Daniel had was real. He’d pretty much known from the beginning that there was no doubting Daniel’s commitment. The first few months had been rough, but that was Jack’s fault. Daniel had been willing to get involved with a confused, repressed Air Force general over fifty. He’d been nothing put patient and understanding as Jack had come to terms with this redefinition of his sexuality, when he needed to wonder how he could’ve not know for so long, when he got a little freaked out, and when he didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Jack was still repressed, but he was no longer confused and this time he knew exactly what he was doing.
He was waiting for a phone call, but the ring still startled him. “O’Neill.”
“Jack, are you serious?”
And thus it began. “Yes.”
“The President isn’t happy. Your friendships with our allies are invaluable connections, and nobody has your experience.”
“Nice to know I’m appreciated, but it doesn’t change my mind.”
“I don’t suppose there’s anything we can do to change your mind?”
Repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was not on the table, so the answer was, “No.”
“Can I ask why?”
“Personal reasons. It’s just time.”
“We can’t stop you from resigning your command, Jack, and you’ve certainly earned your retirement. But it’s going to be a problem getting a qualified candidate to run the SGC on short notice.”
What SGC needed, Jack gave. “I can hang around longer if you need. But when the day comes, I’m retired. Civilian.”
Hammond sounded confused and yet hopeful. “You’ll do that?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re not in a rush to leave SGC. Just the Air Force.” Hammond paused, thinking. “We’ve had a civilian in charge before. What do you think, Jack?”
“I haven’t finished thinking.” He did wonder how that would go over with the President, the Joint Chiefs, and everyone who would like to command SGC, which amounted to at least half the generals in the Air Force.
“One of the biggest reasons the Russians haven’t asked for more say at SGC is because of your experience. If you leave, we lose that. SGC needs you.”
“I’m trying to figure out the catch.”
“No catch. The President said any way to keep you is fine by him.”
Again, any way but allowing him to stay in the Air Force and not hide his relationship. But Jack wasn’t going there. Besides the career implications, it wasn’t his battle. He was a soldier. He didn’t want to be a poster child and, worse yet, pull the SGC into a heated political debate. Once he retired, he was safe. No career to ruin, pension coming, and he and Daniel could finally go to that upscale romantic restaurant that Daniel pretended he didn’t care about. If Jack could have that and stay at the SGC, well, that was having his cake and eating it too. Plus Daniel could stop feeling guilty about staying on SG-1 while Jack left because of their relationship, which he did even after a long attempt to convince him otherwise.
“I will need something to do after I retire,” he said to Hammond, hardly believing his good fortune.
*****
Jack liked plans. Therefore they had sat down and come up with a careful plan of how to tell Sam and Teal’c without actually telling them anything that could put Jack, or for that matter Sam, in a compromising position. Sam was there, so as soon as Teal’c got to Daniel’s office they were ready.
Daniel wasn’t really worried, since Sam and Teal’c already knew that he was bisexual and didn’t mind. In fact, he’d boldly announced that he was a Kinsey 4. They had learned his lack of gender preference not long before he got together with Jack, when an allergic reaction to offworld fruit had him acting very drunk. The hazy memory still made him cringe, not because he minded his friends knowing, but because he’d made a complete fool out of himself at a party in SG-1’s honor. But Jack wasn’t out to anyone else in the universe, and despite Daniel’s reassurances was not looking forward to the experience.
“Daniel Jackson. You have something you wish to speak about?”
“Shut the door, would you, Teal’c?”
Once the door was shut, Jack spoke up. He didn’t look nervous, although Daniel knew better. “I’m retiring from the Air Force,” he said. Short and to the point, the only way he could start.
“Sir?” asked Sam.
“Two weeks from Friday is my last day.”
“That is most unfortunate,” declared Teal’c solemnly.
“Ah, you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m sticking around as a civilian. No eyeing my office, kids.” Both Jack and Daniel were pleased beyond measure at that unexpected development. In fact, Jack had even said something nice about the Russians. Daniel had stopped feeling guilty that Jack was giving up SGC for their relationship.
Sam was shocked, but regained her composure enough to get out, “May I ask why, sir?”
“Actually, no.”
She tried to hide it, but she was confused and hurt. It was time for Daniel to make sense of things. “I have some news too.”
They were all looking at him, Sam still confused and wounded, Teal’c as though he was contemplating the possibility of a foothold situation, and Jack… Jack was trying to urge Daniel on and shore up his own best stoic defenses at the same time.
“I’m moving. Moving in with someone, actually.” He swallowed, trying not to stare at Jack and instead focusing on the bookshelf.
Teal’c looked ready to call for quarantine and medical exams, which spurred Daniel on. “I’m hoping that in a couple of weeks, you’ll come have dinner with us. Once he’s officially retired… from the Air Force.”
He inhaled, waiting. Jack was only looking at him and Daniel gave up trying not to stare back.
“Are you implying that -”
“Teal’c, don’t,” implored Sam.
Apparently, Teal’c hadn’t quite understood the careful line they were walking by not actually telling, just providing enough information that made their relationship obvious. Teal’c tended to think in black and white, and loopholes through vague wording weren’t his strongest point. “I -” he began.
Sam broke in again. “I’ll explain, I promise.” Daniel didn’t envy her that job.
“Very well,” ceded Teal’c. “I will hold you to that promise.”
Sam’s gaze altered between Jack and Daniel for a moment before she said, “Congratulations, Daniel. I’d love to meet him.”
Teal’c had evidently grasped the basics of what they were doing, dancing around the truth, because he wasted no time in adding, “As would I.”
“Me three,” quipped Jack.
Daniel smiled. “Great. That’s really great. I’ll get back to you with the details, okay?”
Sam and Teal’c were like family to them. The four of them plus Cassandra had spent the last Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and that spoke volumes. He himself, of course, had no other family; Jack had an aunt he talked to sometimes but rarely saw and a few cousins with whom he wasn’t especially close. So by telling Sam and Teal’c, they had just told the people who mattered most to them.
Sam turned to Jack. “With all due respect, sir, I’m glad you’ll still be with us, but does this mean more work for me?”
Jack grinned tentatively. “Maybe a little. You and Colonel Warren are gonna be responsible for anything I can’t do. Which isn’t as much as I’d hoped. Although I think inspections might be coming up.”
“You know where to find me.” Sam smiled, then said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to brief Teal’c on a few Air Force regulations.”
“Indeed. Should you require assistance moving, Daniel Jackson, I offer my services.”
Sam echoed, “Me too.”
“Thanks, guys.”
Their Jaffa friend nodded and followed Sam out the door. Once they were alone Daniel would’ve loved to have kissed Jack, but he couldn’t. Not on base. Never on base.
“That went well,” said Jack.
“Yes, it did.” The weight of their relief was beginning to oppress him, so he added, “Funny thing is, you didn’t offer to help me move.”
*****
When Carter knocked, Jack didn’t hesitate to let her in. “Good morning, Carter.”
“Good morning, sir. Do you have a minute?” She looked tenser than usual.
“I’m sure I can delay the excitement of my budget report.” He’d take anything over a budget report, actually.
She shut the door. “This is a little awkward, sir, but I thought you should know. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why you’re leaving the Air Force. It’s come to my attention that the most popular opinion is… well, is me, sir.”
Ah. That explained her tension. “Yes, slightly awkward.” Because there had been a time when he and Carter could’ve had something, like in those alternate realities. Their time had passed. As Teal’c said, the reality they inhabited was the only one that mattered.
“I just, um, thought you should be aware.”
“I’m sorry for dragging you into it.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault, sir.”
There was an uncomfortable pause while both of them tried to figure out how to lay the past to rest for good. Jack cared for Carter - he always would - but he wasn’t in love with her. Carter and Teal’c were family in every way but blood, but they weren’t Daniel.
“You only have thirty-eight minutes to go through the gate,” blurted out Carter.
“Ye-es,” said Jack, not seeing the connection.
“Time, sir. While it passes, things change. If you don’t take your chance, it might pass.”
Now he understood. “Absolutely right, Carter. And I’m sure Dr. Hallowell would agree.”
Her jaw almost dropped, but she caught it in time. “How did you know?”
“For the past month, two of SGC’s most devoted lab-dwellers have suddenly started keeping something that almost resembles normal hours. It’s my job to notice these things.” Jack was happy for her. Hallowell refused to be intimidated by her towering reputation (it probably helped that he was a biologist and not a physicist), he was a civilian so there was no chain-of-command conflict, and it was plain to see that Carter had been notably chipper the last few weeks.
Smiling, Carter said, “Excellent powers of observation, sir. We aren’t at an announcing stage yet.”
“Why thank you.” He paused a moment, then added, “Are we good?”
“We’re good.”
“Great.”
“I’ll let you get back to that budget report, General.”
He scowled at the offending document. “Sure you don’t have any new theories about the universe, wormhole physics, the inner workings of ZPMs, that sort of thing?”
*****
Jack had expected that an hour or so before it was time to leave, a crisis or three would crop up, but none did. No teams came in hot, no nuke the size of the moon detected around Jupiter, not even a political mess that somehow involved him. It was 1710 Friday evening, and time to go home. He was retired from the Air Force.
Daniel was waiting for him in the parking lot. Most of the shift had already left so nobody was around, but Jack wasn’t quite sure he was up for kissing Daniel while they were still technically on base, even in celebration. Daniel seemed to understand, because he grabbed Jack’s hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go.
Carter and Teal’c were headed their way. After some discussion, Jack and Daniel had agreed on how they wanted to spend their first ‘not-hiding’ evening. The romantic restaurant could wait another twenty-four hours. They wanted to relax and visit with their friends.
“Daniel,” said Carter playfully, “I’m sure I’ve met this boyfriend of yours before.”
“Have you had his family recipe for barbequed chicken?”
“No.”
“You’re going to tonight,” Jack informed her and Teal’c. He was only a passable cook generally, but he was good with a barbecue. For the occasion, they were having chicken and steak. “Let’s head over to my house.” A second later, he amended, “Our house.”
Daniel practically glowed. He was a linguist, and words mattered to him. Jack wasn’t always good with them, but he had his moments.
Jack asked, “So, you’re okay with this?”
Teal’c looked offended that he’d even been asked. “Why would I have any reason to object to your shared happiness?”
Carter shrugged. “I was surprised, but I’ve had two weeks to realize that I should’ve seen it coming.”
He nodded, relieved.
“We’ll follow you over, sir.”
“Carter, you can drop the sir.” This was about friendship now. And friends could use last names all they wanted, but not ‘sir.’
“Right. I’m parked this way, Teal’c.”
Daniel unlocked his own door, musing, “You know, we could carpool.”
“We could.” People would notice them coming in together all the time, eventually, and he wasn’t entirely sure about that. It was true that he didn’t want to hide their relationship, but he didn’t want to advertise it - and everyone knew old habits die hard.
Daniel, wisely, didn’t push the issue. “I’ll see you at… home.”
That Jack really, really liked the sound of.
*****
Sam and Teal’c showed up a few minutes behind them, with a cake. “To celebrate,” she explained.
“Thanks.” Daniel took it into the kitchen. “Anyone want a drink?”
“Yes,” said Jack, which meant a beer of course. “Beer. I’m going to fire up the grill.”
“Sam, Teal’c? Beer, wine, cream soda?”
“Cream soda,” replied Teal’c. He had recently discovered the beverage and immediately developed a taste for it. They’d bought a bottle just for him.
“Wine’s great, thanks. I’ll help.” Sam trailed him into the kitchen and found the cream soda. “I think ‘sir’ is going to be coming out of my mouth for a while.”
“Well, he won’t mind on base, but Jack knows how it is.” After all, it had taken him months to drop the ‘sir’ with General Hammond and ‘George’ still came rarely.
Sam nodded. “Old habits and all that.”
“Exactly.”
On the porch, Jack was showing Teal’c the finer points of grilling technique. When they all had their drinks, Sam said, “A toast.” She raised her wine glass. “To new beginnings and old friends.”
Jack lifted up his beer. “I’ll drink to that.”
The sound they made clinking glasses was multifaceted with different glasses: Teal’c’s regular drinking glass, Jack’s bottle, Sam and Daniel’s wine glasses, all hitting together.
“How long have you been in a relationship?” asked Teal’c.
“Just over a year,” supplied Daniel.
“You’re happy.” Sam didn’t ask; she stated it. “Congratulations. Rather belated, but… Air Force.”
“Yeah. Air Force. Oh, the old employer.”
Jack’s past tense was quickly corrected by Teal’c observing, “Are you not still in the employ of the Air Force?”
“But with less rules.” Jack glanced over at him, and Daniel’s heart warmed to see the affection.
“I really had no idea you two were together,” said Sam, leaning against the railing.
Teal’c echoed, “Nor did I.”
“That was the goal.” Daniel sat, reveling in the simple pleasure of talking openly with his partner and closest friends.
“Mission accomplished.” Jack left the grill to achieve just the right temperature and moved a chair closer to Daniel’s.
“We wanted to tell you, but we didn’t want to burden you with keeping our secret.” It was important to Daniel that they knew that.
Sam nodded. “At first I wished you’d trusted me enough to tell me. But Teal’c pointed out that you were just trying to protect us. Well, mostly me.”
“Which was honorable, though not entirely necessary,” added Teal’c.
“Honestly, Daniel,” Sam said, “I did sort of wonder if you… but I never guessed it was mutual, you know?”
“It took me long enough to figure out that it was mutual,” he said. It certainly had, and even then he wasn’t sure whether he was hoping or guessing when he gave Jack that first, crazy kiss.
Sam smiled at them, a soft and warm smile of happiness on their behalf. “It’s okay if it’s none of my business, but how out are you planning to be?”
Jack answered, “Door open, still in closet.”
Either Sam had filled Teal’c in on terminology or he’d been on Google again, because he was following the conversation easily. Then the Jaffa surprised everyone by announcing, “There are multiple female airmen who will be most disappointed if they learn this news. I overheard their discussion on the topic of your desirability, Daniel Jackson.”
“He’s spoken for,” said Jack.
“That is now evident.”
“So when’s moving day?” asked Sam.
“I’ve got through the end of the month, but a lot of my stuff’s already packed up.” He was looking forward to officially moving, even if there were going to be complications working out the display of some of his artifacts.
Jack added, “Or here.”
It was almost too good to be true. There they were, being open. Not saccharine or all over each other, but just themselves. And yet Monday morning they were both going back to SGC. This was almost as if the galaxy was paying them back for their best efforts at saving it.
*****
They’d been forced to cancel their dinner plans when, Saturday morning, SG-2 managed to get themselves magnetized. Magnetized! That was a new one. Having four large magnets walk through the stargate had screwed with some of the base systems, as if figuring out how to demagnetize humans wasn’t enough to deal with. It was late Tuesday before Jack left the base.
This was why he didn’t have a dog.
Carter had been dead on her feet. When he told her to take Wednesday off, he realized that he was hardly in better shape, what with the base being vulnerable while systems were haywire and all. So he’d given himself Wednesday off as well. Sometimes, it was good to be in charge.
Therefore it was Thursday before Jack had a normal day as the civilian Director of Stargate Command. He decided it was time for another of his rounds, just to learn what was going on. It felt weird, strolling around the base in slacks and a button-down shirt. He needed to buy more of this civilian clothing, actually. Almost all of his clothing was casual. He’d have preferred BDUs like Daniel and Teal’c, but apparently as director that was out. Or so he’d been told.
Neatly hidden underneath his shirt he still wore his dog tags. Only Daniel knew that. They could serve vital identification purposes if needed, after all.
As usual, making the rounds was educational. He learned that the biological sciences folks hadn’t quite forgiven his refusal to let them bring an alien parrot back to Earth, the Marines were starting to get bored so it was time to schedule a couple of offworld training exercises, the results of the latest geological survey were scientifically fascinating but completely without practical application, and the base had switched to a different brand of ketchup. Much to the delight of the medical staff, their new MRI machine had arrived. Carter was happily poking around in the half a fried ZPM that SG-11 had found and the civilian physicists were trying to figure out how to share their newly-tweaked understanding of subspace with the outside world without saying anything classified. SGC personnel were racing Area 51 to develop something similar to a zat, Teal’c was reading political manifestos and documents for ideas that might help stabilize the situation among the Free Jaffa but had so far found little of use, and there was widespread support for setting up some nice uninhabited world - or possibly even a friendly inhabited one - as a vacation spot for SGC personnel, although the support mostly came from the unattached who took solo vacations.
Finally, having been informed that all four of Daniel’s linguists agreed that fluency in Ancient was a lost cause, he sauntered into Daniel’s office.
“Remember that paper I submitted?” asked his boyfriend excitedly.
Jack thought for a minute. “The one about patterns in multiple ancient languages?” He hadn’t really made it through the whole article, but it mattered to Daniel so he at least read the conclusion, which was always the important part anyway.
Daniel gave him a happy smile. “It was accepted.”
“Hey, that’s great. Glad to hear it.” He very much liked the idea of more people appreciating just how smart Daniel was, though how Daniel found the time to write that article he didn’t know. Of course the Air Force had gone over the article with a fine-toothed comb before concluding that, while off-world experiences may have inspired Daniel’s theory, they were not mentioned or even hinted at.
“It’s only a minor journal, but after my last reception in academia and then disappearing, this is good.”
“About time those guys learned to appreciate you.”
“We’ll see how it’s received. Usually you put what college you’re at, so I think the panel was surprised to see my affiliation as ‘US Air Force consultant.’” Jack knew next to nothing about linguistic journals, but he could see how the Air Force association would be rare. “In the meantime, moving weekend is coming up. Teal’c and Sam are showing up at 9 Saturday morning. I’m bringing coffee and donuts.”
Jack’s reply was cut off by a knock on the open door. “Come in,” called Daniel.
Captain Evans walked in and held out a report. “Here’s my report on the evidence of habitation during our mineral survey of P1X-994, Dr. Jackson.” Out of habit, he nodded to Jack with a deferential, “General. Director. Sir.”
Daniel had been looking forward to that report, so Jack just nodded and said, “I’ll leave you to your fun.”
On his way out, he realized how terribly he would have missed his rounds and once again found himself in the unfamiliar position of being grateful for pushy Russians.
*****
They were enjoying a quiet and altogether typical domestic evening. Jack was in his recliner with Newsweek and Daniel was on the couch reading, or rather trying to read, his book on a major archaeological expedition that uncovered new Aztec sites. The anthology of essays covered all kinds of fascinating topics, but Daniel was distracted by his own thoughts.
Finally he decided to give up on the Aztec sites. “Jack?”
“Hmm?”
“I just want you to know” - Jack put Newsweek on his lap on hearing that - “you’re free to tell anyone you want or need to about us.” That ought to have been a good thing, so Daniel didn’t quite understand Jack’s slightly pained look as he nodded. “What?” he asked.
Jack quickly said, “Nothing.”
“Liar.”
His partner fidgeted with the magazine cover for a minute while Daniel waited to be told what was going on. “It’s good, Daniel. I’m just not quite ready to say the same.”
Well, that made sense. In fact, he hadn’t expected Jack to be ready, since he was still in charge of a military base. “That’s fine. The people who I really wanted to know already do. I’m happy for other people to know, but I don’t need them too. Although we should probably tell Cassandra soon.”
Jack looked somewhat reassured. “If you change your mind…”
“I know.”
“Okay.”
Hopefully his other comment went over a little easier. “Also, how do you feel about ‘cariad’?”
“That depends. What is it?”
“It’s Welsh for ‘beloved’ or ‘darling.’ I’ve always liked it.” He’d picked up a decent amount of Welsh Gaelic during the semester he spent as an exchange student in London, where he’d had a Welsh roommate. Cariad had a great sound to it, somehow speaking to how love went back beyond human memory. He didn’t really like pet names but he did like endearments, if they weren’t ridiculously sappy.
Jack didn’t say anything in reply, but he did get out of his recliner and sit on the couch. Daniel suspected that this was the lead-in to a polite denial, so he was quite surprised when Jack kissed him.
“I’d like that,” whispered Jack right by his ear, and the tickle spread to Daniel’s spine. “Teach me.”
“Cariad.”
“Cariad,” echoed Jack. It was slightly hesitant and awkward pronunciation and yet, because Jack was saying it, meaning it, and learning the new word because Daniel liked it, Daniel decided he’d never heard a more perfect word of Welsh.
*****
“You know how jokes aren’t as funny if you have to explain them?” Jack asked Carter while they headed out for another set of boxes.
“Sure.”
“I wonder if it’s the same for Jaffa jokes.”
“I’m afraid to ask.” She grabbed a box labeled Egypt - 1993. “But Daniel is Teal’c’s best chance of anyone getting his jokes.”
This was true, and for the past ten minutes Daniel had been giving it his best effort. Only Daniel would quiz someone about the format of his culture’s jokes while maneuvering a bookcase inside.
“There’s a pool on why you retired,” Carter informed him.
“Oh?”
“I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to find out about it.”
He had no trouble believing that. “What’s the smart money on?”
“The favorites are me and ability to swear at the Pentagon.”
“Swearing at the Pentagon. I hadn’t thought of that.” Actually, it still wasn’t a great idea, tempting as it sometimes was.
“Don’t give me credit for inspiring you.”
Jack took the Greece - 1992 box. At least they were done hauling books. Daniel had a ton of books and the boxes had been heavy. He was going to feel this in his arms the next morning, Jack was sure of it. To his surprise, there were only two boxes left. “I can see the back of my truck cab,” he told Carter.
“Great.”
It was great, alright. This was the end of Daniel’s stuff that needed to be moved. The spare bedroom was, from now on, going to double as Daniel’s study. Mainly because there was nowhere else to fit all of his books and notes. It didn’t hurt that it gave him a place to put most of his strange decorations, either. Jack had sportingly agreed to put a few in other rooms because he wanted it to be home for Daniel, too. He still had his medals and his pictures of Charlie; there was room for some of Daniel’s things too, even if they were ugly.
“It refers to an ambush that I believe you would describe as ‘infamous,’” Teal’c was telling Daniel as they passed. “This ambush occurred several centuries ago.”
“What happened?” Daniel may not have gotten the jokes, but he and Teal’c both seemed to be enjoying the conversation.
Carter put her box down in the living room and then looked at the clock. “That didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I told Eddie I couldn’t have dinner until eight.”
“Good, then you have time for ice cream.”
“I definitely have time for ice cream,” she said, following him into the kitchen.
“You know where the bowls are.”
Jack was getting out the Haagen-Dazs when Daniel and Teal’c came in with the last of the boxes. “That’s everything,” declared Daniel.
All of Daniel’s things had been relocated and they’d left their keys to his apartment behind. It was real, now - they lived together. Jack felt a surge of emotion that he didn’t quite know how to express. After a minute of just looking at Daniel, he ventured, “Dulce de leche, cariad?”
Dulce de leche was Daniel’s favorite flavor of Haagen-Dazs, but that couldn’t be the reason for his megawatt-smile, so Jack figured he understood.
*****
It was a Tuesday when they finally made it to Santelli’s, so the restaurant wasn’t particularly crowded. Daniel had wanted to take Jack there for a long time; Santelli’s made the best Italian around and had a great, intimate atmosphere. The dining room was filled with two-person tables, underlining the fact that this was first and foremost a date restaurant.
Jack had taken the seat which gave him the best vantage point to see the entrance. He always did that and Daniel wasn’t bothered by it, at least not any more. The habit was so deeply ingrained that Jack did it automatically, wherever he was. Teal’c did the same thing.
Daniel was happy to see that his lover was relatively relaxed. For the first year of their relationship, any date was weighed down by the fact that Jack’s career - the entirety of his life’s work - could be brought down if anyone from the military learned they were together. Jack even looked a bit younger, with that fear no longer hanging overhead. It reminded Daniel once again how much Jack had cared for him, even in the beginning, to take such a huge risk.
“What do you think of getting a flat-screen TV?” asked Jack while they waited for their desserts. “The prices have come down, and the one I’ve - we’ve - got is getting old.” Not as old as the one from Daniel’s apartment, which had stopped working six months before he moved in with Jack but only made it to the dump during the move.
He really didn’t watch a lot of TV, but did enjoy curling up on the couch with Jack to watch movies. “Sounds good.”
“Here you are, gentlemen,” announced their waitress, cutting off further discussion of a new television. “One tiramisu and one amaretto cheesecake.”
“Thanks,” said Jack at the same time Daniel replied, “Thank you.”
“Enjoy your desserts.”
Jack looked at his cheesecake for a few moments longer than a quick, ‘looking over my dessert’ sort of gaze. Daniel stopped, a forkful of tiramisu halfway between the plate and his mouth. “What is it, Jack?”
“Thank you,” said Jack, the words full of emotion. “It couldn’t have been easy, hiding and… everything.”
He put his laden fork down and grabbed Jack’s hands. “It wasn’t easy for you, either.”
“But I had to. You didn’t.”
“I had you.” He squeezed Jack’s hands a bit. “I never doubted that it was worth it.”
Jack’s gaze was tender as he said, “I don’t tell you as much as I should: I love you.”
He’d never needed to hear it constantly. Once it had been said, he knew. And Jack showed him through actions, his preferred method of communication. What Jack did was always much more important than what he said.
“I love you,” he replied, “and I don’t need to hear it constantly to know anyway.”
They slipped their hands apart reluctantly, getting back to dessert. Daniel was a huge tiramisu fan, and Santelli’s was excellent. “How’s the cheesecake?”
“Great.” Jack took another forkful, but this time held it out. “Want a taste?”
He let Jack feed him a bite, savoring not just the cheesecake but their open togetherness.
...continued: ent-alter-ego.livejournal.com/6820.html
One year. A year since SG-1 got back from fishing in Minnesota and Daniel was supposed to thank Jack for the ride and vacation and get out of his truck, but had kissed him instead. A year since they went back to his apartment and had a frank conversation, which had then led to a relationship.
It hadn’t always been easy. Daniel may have spent eight years basically ignoring his bisexuality (a consequence of working for the Air Force), but Jack was a career Air Force officer. That meant Jack had spent his entire adult life completely repressing any suspicion that he might not be completely straight. It also meant that they had to be careful to the point of paranoia.
“Daniel?” asked Jack in a voice that meant he’d been thinking too.
“Yes?”
Jack looked right at him the way that always made Daniel feel like Jack could see into his very soul. “What would you say if I retired?”
That he had not seen coming, and he said the first thing that sprung to mind. “I’d say you’d get bored quickly.”
“True,” conceded Jack, “but I managed the first time.”
“Any particular reason you’re thinking about retirement?”
“Rank hath its privileges. It also hath too much paperwork.”
“Really.” He wasn’t convinced, despite Jack’s dislike of paperwork.
“Working at SGC isn’t as much fun when you hardly ever get to go through the gate.”
“So you’ve told me.”
Jack fidgeted with a corner of his pillow. “Plus you could move in.”
He’d suspected their relationship had something to do with it, but he was somehow still surprised. “You want me to move in?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be an activist or anything. I’m just sick of skulking around. So I got to thinking, why am I doing all this skulking? To push paper and deal with politicians? Not a good trade.”
“You want to retire because of me?” He was awed and humbled and oh, so in love with Jack.
“When you say it that way, it makes me sound selfless.”
“It’s not?” asked Daniel, still absorbing the information. It seemed more than a little surreal that Jack would give up SGC for him. Daniel had never asked or expected that of him. SGC was his life, and to give that up… for once, words failed Daniel.
“I could grope you in the movie theater.”
“Maybe.” He’d never been a fan, but if Jack was going to retire he might rethink the idea.
“It wouldn’t feel like a stealth mission on a Goa’uld mothership every time we go out on a date.”
That would be great, of course, but he didn’t want to be hasty. “But Jack -”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
“Alright, I won’t.”
“It’s my decision, but…”
A year ago Daniel might have pressed, but he knew better now. If Jack started the conversation, he’d finish it, but it had to be on his own time.
“… it’s not just about me.”
“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” Suddenly, he hoped it wasn’t possible to somehow go through a quantum mirror without actually having one.
“That depends. If you think I’m asking if you’ll reconsider dragging me to that pottery shards exhibit, no. Good guess though.”
“Jack.”
“Daniel.”
“You don’t need my permission to retire.” Jack nodded just a tiny bit, but that wasn’t all he needed to hear. “And you certainly don’t need to retire on my account. But if that’s what you decide, once it’s official, I’ll head over to the post office.”
“Post office?”
“For a change of address form.”
Jack’s smile exploded out like the event horizon of the stargate, full of energy and potential.
*****
While he waited for the phone call that he knew was coming as soon as Hammond got his email, Jack was trying not to worry. True, he was perfectly within his rights to resign his command and retire. And he had no obligation to tell the Air Force why he was retiring. But he was still afraid it could all go terribly wrong.
Things weren’t all bad. He was finally convinced that Rosnik was a good guy and worthy of being on SG-1. It helped that, while given no choice over having a Russian on SG-1, Jack and Carter had been allowed to have final say on which Russian. Ba’al had been forced to keep a low profile. Desertion among his ranks was really cramping his galaxy-conquering plans, especially when a Jaffa rebellion destroyed his little supersoldier factory. It had been some six weeks since any SG personnel had been taken hostage, which was probably a record. And he was happy with Daniel; happier than he had been since Charlie died. Now all he had to do was manage a nice, quiet transition to civilian life.
It was time to stop living in fear of being found out and retirement was the only way to do that. He knew that what he and Daniel had was real. He’d pretty much known from the beginning that there was no doubting Daniel’s commitment. The first few months had been rough, but that was Jack’s fault. Daniel had been willing to get involved with a confused, repressed Air Force general over fifty. He’d been nothing put patient and understanding as Jack had come to terms with this redefinition of his sexuality, when he needed to wonder how he could’ve not know for so long, when he got a little freaked out, and when he didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Jack was still repressed, but he was no longer confused and this time he knew exactly what he was doing.
He was waiting for a phone call, but the ring still startled him. “O’Neill.”
“Jack, are you serious?”
And thus it began. “Yes.”
“The President isn’t happy. Your friendships with our allies are invaluable connections, and nobody has your experience.”
“Nice to know I’m appreciated, but it doesn’t change my mind.”
“I don’t suppose there’s anything we can do to change your mind?”
Repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was not on the table, so the answer was, “No.”
“Can I ask why?”
“Personal reasons. It’s just time.”
“We can’t stop you from resigning your command, Jack, and you’ve certainly earned your retirement. But it’s going to be a problem getting a qualified candidate to run the SGC on short notice.”
What SGC needed, Jack gave. “I can hang around longer if you need. But when the day comes, I’m retired. Civilian.”
Hammond sounded confused and yet hopeful. “You’ll do that?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re not in a rush to leave SGC. Just the Air Force.” Hammond paused, thinking. “We’ve had a civilian in charge before. What do you think, Jack?”
“I haven’t finished thinking.” He did wonder how that would go over with the President, the Joint Chiefs, and everyone who would like to command SGC, which amounted to at least half the generals in the Air Force.
“One of the biggest reasons the Russians haven’t asked for more say at SGC is because of your experience. If you leave, we lose that. SGC needs you.”
“I’m trying to figure out the catch.”
“No catch. The President said any way to keep you is fine by him.”
Again, any way but allowing him to stay in the Air Force and not hide his relationship. But Jack wasn’t going there. Besides the career implications, it wasn’t his battle. He was a soldier. He didn’t want to be a poster child and, worse yet, pull the SGC into a heated political debate. Once he retired, he was safe. No career to ruin, pension coming, and he and Daniel could finally go to that upscale romantic restaurant that Daniel pretended he didn’t care about. If Jack could have that and stay at the SGC, well, that was having his cake and eating it too. Plus Daniel could stop feeling guilty about staying on SG-1 while Jack left because of their relationship, which he did even after a long attempt to convince him otherwise.
“I will need something to do after I retire,” he said to Hammond, hardly believing his good fortune.
*****
Jack liked plans. Therefore they had sat down and come up with a careful plan of how to tell Sam and Teal’c without actually telling them anything that could put Jack, or for that matter Sam, in a compromising position. Sam was there, so as soon as Teal’c got to Daniel’s office they were ready.
Daniel wasn’t really worried, since Sam and Teal’c already knew that he was bisexual and didn’t mind. In fact, he’d boldly announced that he was a Kinsey 4. They had learned his lack of gender preference not long before he got together with Jack, when an allergic reaction to offworld fruit had him acting very drunk. The hazy memory still made him cringe, not because he minded his friends knowing, but because he’d made a complete fool out of himself at a party in SG-1’s honor. But Jack wasn’t out to anyone else in the universe, and despite Daniel’s reassurances was not looking forward to the experience.
“Daniel Jackson. You have something you wish to speak about?”
“Shut the door, would you, Teal’c?”
Once the door was shut, Jack spoke up. He didn’t look nervous, although Daniel knew better. “I’m retiring from the Air Force,” he said. Short and to the point, the only way he could start.
“Sir?” asked Sam.
“Two weeks from Friday is my last day.”
“That is most unfortunate,” declared Teal’c solemnly.
“Ah, you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m sticking around as a civilian. No eyeing my office, kids.” Both Jack and Daniel were pleased beyond measure at that unexpected development. In fact, Jack had even said something nice about the Russians. Daniel had stopped feeling guilty that Jack was giving up SGC for their relationship.
Sam was shocked, but regained her composure enough to get out, “May I ask why, sir?”
“Actually, no.”
She tried to hide it, but she was confused and hurt. It was time for Daniel to make sense of things. “I have some news too.”
They were all looking at him, Sam still confused and wounded, Teal’c as though he was contemplating the possibility of a foothold situation, and Jack… Jack was trying to urge Daniel on and shore up his own best stoic defenses at the same time.
“I’m moving. Moving in with someone, actually.” He swallowed, trying not to stare at Jack and instead focusing on the bookshelf.
Teal’c looked ready to call for quarantine and medical exams, which spurred Daniel on. “I’m hoping that in a couple of weeks, you’ll come have dinner with us. Once he’s officially retired… from the Air Force.”
He inhaled, waiting. Jack was only looking at him and Daniel gave up trying not to stare back.
“Are you implying that -”
“Teal’c, don’t,” implored Sam.
Apparently, Teal’c hadn’t quite understood the careful line they were walking by not actually telling, just providing enough information that made their relationship obvious. Teal’c tended to think in black and white, and loopholes through vague wording weren’t his strongest point. “I -” he began.
Sam broke in again. “I’ll explain, I promise.” Daniel didn’t envy her that job.
“Very well,” ceded Teal’c. “I will hold you to that promise.”
Sam’s gaze altered between Jack and Daniel for a moment before she said, “Congratulations, Daniel. I’d love to meet him.”
Teal’c had evidently grasped the basics of what they were doing, dancing around the truth, because he wasted no time in adding, “As would I.”
“Me three,” quipped Jack.
Daniel smiled. “Great. That’s really great. I’ll get back to you with the details, okay?”
Sam and Teal’c were like family to them. The four of them plus Cassandra had spent the last Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and that spoke volumes. He himself, of course, had no other family; Jack had an aunt he talked to sometimes but rarely saw and a few cousins with whom he wasn’t especially close. So by telling Sam and Teal’c, they had just told the people who mattered most to them.
Sam turned to Jack. “With all due respect, sir, I’m glad you’ll still be with us, but does this mean more work for me?”
Jack grinned tentatively. “Maybe a little. You and Colonel Warren are gonna be responsible for anything I can’t do. Which isn’t as much as I’d hoped. Although I think inspections might be coming up.”
“You know where to find me.” Sam smiled, then said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to brief Teal’c on a few Air Force regulations.”
“Indeed. Should you require assistance moving, Daniel Jackson, I offer my services.”
Sam echoed, “Me too.”
“Thanks, guys.”
Their Jaffa friend nodded and followed Sam out the door. Once they were alone Daniel would’ve loved to have kissed Jack, but he couldn’t. Not on base. Never on base.
“That went well,” said Jack.
“Yes, it did.” The weight of their relief was beginning to oppress him, so he added, “Funny thing is, you didn’t offer to help me move.”
*****
When Carter knocked, Jack didn’t hesitate to let her in. “Good morning, Carter.”
“Good morning, sir. Do you have a minute?” She looked tenser than usual.
“I’m sure I can delay the excitement of my budget report.” He’d take anything over a budget report, actually.
She shut the door. “This is a little awkward, sir, but I thought you should know. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why you’re leaving the Air Force. It’s come to my attention that the most popular opinion is… well, is me, sir.”
Ah. That explained her tension. “Yes, slightly awkward.” Because there had been a time when he and Carter could’ve had something, like in those alternate realities. Their time had passed. As Teal’c said, the reality they inhabited was the only one that mattered.
“I just, um, thought you should be aware.”
“I’m sorry for dragging you into it.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault, sir.”
There was an uncomfortable pause while both of them tried to figure out how to lay the past to rest for good. Jack cared for Carter - he always would - but he wasn’t in love with her. Carter and Teal’c were family in every way but blood, but they weren’t Daniel.
“You only have thirty-eight minutes to go through the gate,” blurted out Carter.
“Ye-es,” said Jack, not seeing the connection.
“Time, sir. While it passes, things change. If you don’t take your chance, it might pass.”
Now he understood. “Absolutely right, Carter. And I’m sure Dr. Hallowell would agree.”
Her jaw almost dropped, but she caught it in time. “How did you know?”
“For the past month, two of SGC’s most devoted lab-dwellers have suddenly started keeping something that almost resembles normal hours. It’s my job to notice these things.” Jack was happy for her. Hallowell refused to be intimidated by her towering reputation (it probably helped that he was a biologist and not a physicist), he was a civilian so there was no chain-of-command conflict, and it was plain to see that Carter had been notably chipper the last few weeks.
Smiling, Carter said, “Excellent powers of observation, sir. We aren’t at an announcing stage yet.”
“Why thank you.” He paused a moment, then added, “Are we good?”
“We’re good.”
“Great.”
“I’ll let you get back to that budget report, General.”
He scowled at the offending document. “Sure you don’t have any new theories about the universe, wormhole physics, the inner workings of ZPMs, that sort of thing?”
*****
Jack had expected that an hour or so before it was time to leave, a crisis or three would crop up, but none did. No teams came in hot, no nuke the size of the moon detected around Jupiter, not even a political mess that somehow involved him. It was 1710 Friday evening, and time to go home. He was retired from the Air Force.
Daniel was waiting for him in the parking lot. Most of the shift had already left so nobody was around, but Jack wasn’t quite sure he was up for kissing Daniel while they were still technically on base, even in celebration. Daniel seemed to understand, because he grabbed Jack’s hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go.
Carter and Teal’c were headed their way. After some discussion, Jack and Daniel had agreed on how they wanted to spend their first ‘not-hiding’ evening. The romantic restaurant could wait another twenty-four hours. They wanted to relax and visit with their friends.
“Daniel,” said Carter playfully, “I’m sure I’ve met this boyfriend of yours before.”
“Have you had his family recipe for barbequed chicken?”
“No.”
“You’re going to tonight,” Jack informed her and Teal’c. He was only a passable cook generally, but he was good with a barbecue. For the occasion, they were having chicken and steak. “Let’s head over to my house.” A second later, he amended, “Our house.”
Daniel practically glowed. He was a linguist, and words mattered to him. Jack wasn’t always good with them, but he had his moments.
Jack asked, “So, you’re okay with this?”
Teal’c looked offended that he’d even been asked. “Why would I have any reason to object to your shared happiness?”
Carter shrugged. “I was surprised, but I’ve had two weeks to realize that I should’ve seen it coming.”
He nodded, relieved.
“We’ll follow you over, sir.”
“Carter, you can drop the sir.” This was about friendship now. And friends could use last names all they wanted, but not ‘sir.’
“Right. I’m parked this way, Teal’c.”
Daniel unlocked his own door, musing, “You know, we could carpool.”
“We could.” People would notice them coming in together all the time, eventually, and he wasn’t entirely sure about that. It was true that he didn’t want to hide their relationship, but he didn’t want to advertise it - and everyone knew old habits die hard.
Daniel, wisely, didn’t push the issue. “I’ll see you at… home.”
That Jack really, really liked the sound of.
*****
Sam and Teal’c showed up a few minutes behind them, with a cake. “To celebrate,” she explained.
“Thanks.” Daniel took it into the kitchen. “Anyone want a drink?”
“Yes,” said Jack, which meant a beer of course. “Beer. I’m going to fire up the grill.”
“Sam, Teal’c? Beer, wine, cream soda?”
“Cream soda,” replied Teal’c. He had recently discovered the beverage and immediately developed a taste for it. They’d bought a bottle just for him.
“Wine’s great, thanks. I’ll help.” Sam trailed him into the kitchen and found the cream soda. “I think ‘sir’ is going to be coming out of my mouth for a while.”
“Well, he won’t mind on base, but Jack knows how it is.” After all, it had taken him months to drop the ‘sir’ with General Hammond and ‘George’ still came rarely.
Sam nodded. “Old habits and all that.”
“Exactly.”
On the porch, Jack was showing Teal’c the finer points of grilling technique. When they all had their drinks, Sam said, “A toast.” She raised her wine glass. “To new beginnings and old friends.”
Jack lifted up his beer. “I’ll drink to that.”
The sound they made clinking glasses was multifaceted with different glasses: Teal’c’s regular drinking glass, Jack’s bottle, Sam and Daniel’s wine glasses, all hitting together.
“How long have you been in a relationship?” asked Teal’c.
“Just over a year,” supplied Daniel.
“You’re happy.” Sam didn’t ask; she stated it. “Congratulations. Rather belated, but… Air Force.”
“Yeah. Air Force. Oh, the old employer.”
Jack’s past tense was quickly corrected by Teal’c observing, “Are you not still in the employ of the Air Force?”
“But with less rules.” Jack glanced over at him, and Daniel’s heart warmed to see the affection.
“I really had no idea you two were together,” said Sam, leaning against the railing.
Teal’c echoed, “Nor did I.”
“That was the goal.” Daniel sat, reveling in the simple pleasure of talking openly with his partner and closest friends.
“Mission accomplished.” Jack left the grill to achieve just the right temperature and moved a chair closer to Daniel’s.
“We wanted to tell you, but we didn’t want to burden you with keeping our secret.” It was important to Daniel that they knew that.
Sam nodded. “At first I wished you’d trusted me enough to tell me. But Teal’c pointed out that you were just trying to protect us. Well, mostly me.”
“Which was honorable, though not entirely necessary,” added Teal’c.
“Honestly, Daniel,” Sam said, “I did sort of wonder if you… but I never guessed it was mutual, you know?”
“It took me long enough to figure out that it was mutual,” he said. It certainly had, and even then he wasn’t sure whether he was hoping or guessing when he gave Jack that first, crazy kiss.
Sam smiled at them, a soft and warm smile of happiness on their behalf. “It’s okay if it’s none of my business, but how out are you planning to be?”
Jack answered, “Door open, still in closet.”
Either Sam had filled Teal’c in on terminology or he’d been on Google again, because he was following the conversation easily. Then the Jaffa surprised everyone by announcing, “There are multiple female airmen who will be most disappointed if they learn this news. I overheard their discussion on the topic of your desirability, Daniel Jackson.”
“He’s spoken for,” said Jack.
“That is now evident.”
“So when’s moving day?” asked Sam.
“I’ve got through the end of the month, but a lot of my stuff’s already packed up.” He was looking forward to officially moving, even if there were going to be complications working out the display of some of his artifacts.
Jack added, “Or here.”
It was almost too good to be true. There they were, being open. Not saccharine or all over each other, but just themselves. And yet Monday morning they were both going back to SGC. This was almost as if the galaxy was paying them back for their best efforts at saving it.
*****
They’d been forced to cancel their dinner plans when, Saturday morning, SG-2 managed to get themselves magnetized. Magnetized! That was a new one. Having four large magnets walk through the stargate had screwed with some of the base systems, as if figuring out how to demagnetize humans wasn’t enough to deal with. It was late Tuesday before Jack left the base.
This was why he didn’t have a dog.
Carter had been dead on her feet. When he told her to take Wednesday off, he realized that he was hardly in better shape, what with the base being vulnerable while systems were haywire and all. So he’d given himself Wednesday off as well. Sometimes, it was good to be in charge.
Therefore it was Thursday before Jack had a normal day as the civilian Director of Stargate Command. He decided it was time for another of his rounds, just to learn what was going on. It felt weird, strolling around the base in slacks and a button-down shirt. He needed to buy more of this civilian clothing, actually. Almost all of his clothing was casual. He’d have preferred BDUs like Daniel and Teal’c, but apparently as director that was out. Or so he’d been told.
Neatly hidden underneath his shirt he still wore his dog tags. Only Daniel knew that. They could serve vital identification purposes if needed, after all.
As usual, making the rounds was educational. He learned that the biological sciences folks hadn’t quite forgiven his refusal to let them bring an alien parrot back to Earth, the Marines were starting to get bored so it was time to schedule a couple of offworld training exercises, the results of the latest geological survey were scientifically fascinating but completely without practical application, and the base had switched to a different brand of ketchup. Much to the delight of the medical staff, their new MRI machine had arrived. Carter was happily poking around in the half a fried ZPM that SG-11 had found and the civilian physicists were trying to figure out how to share their newly-tweaked understanding of subspace with the outside world without saying anything classified. SGC personnel were racing Area 51 to develop something similar to a zat, Teal’c was reading political manifestos and documents for ideas that might help stabilize the situation among the Free Jaffa but had so far found little of use, and there was widespread support for setting up some nice uninhabited world - or possibly even a friendly inhabited one - as a vacation spot for SGC personnel, although the support mostly came from the unattached who took solo vacations.
Finally, having been informed that all four of Daniel’s linguists agreed that fluency in Ancient was a lost cause, he sauntered into Daniel’s office.
“Remember that paper I submitted?” asked his boyfriend excitedly.
Jack thought for a minute. “The one about patterns in multiple ancient languages?” He hadn’t really made it through the whole article, but it mattered to Daniel so he at least read the conclusion, which was always the important part anyway.
Daniel gave him a happy smile. “It was accepted.”
“Hey, that’s great. Glad to hear it.” He very much liked the idea of more people appreciating just how smart Daniel was, though how Daniel found the time to write that article he didn’t know. Of course the Air Force had gone over the article with a fine-toothed comb before concluding that, while off-world experiences may have inspired Daniel’s theory, they were not mentioned or even hinted at.
“It’s only a minor journal, but after my last reception in academia and then disappearing, this is good.”
“About time those guys learned to appreciate you.”
“We’ll see how it’s received. Usually you put what college you’re at, so I think the panel was surprised to see my affiliation as ‘US Air Force consultant.’” Jack knew next to nothing about linguistic journals, but he could see how the Air Force association would be rare. “In the meantime, moving weekend is coming up. Teal’c and Sam are showing up at 9 Saturday morning. I’m bringing coffee and donuts.”
Jack’s reply was cut off by a knock on the open door. “Come in,” called Daniel.
Captain Evans walked in and held out a report. “Here’s my report on the evidence of habitation during our mineral survey of P1X-994, Dr. Jackson.” Out of habit, he nodded to Jack with a deferential, “General. Director. Sir.”
Daniel had been looking forward to that report, so Jack just nodded and said, “I’ll leave you to your fun.”
On his way out, he realized how terribly he would have missed his rounds and once again found himself in the unfamiliar position of being grateful for pushy Russians.
*****
They were enjoying a quiet and altogether typical domestic evening. Jack was in his recliner with Newsweek and Daniel was on the couch reading, or rather trying to read, his book on a major archaeological expedition that uncovered new Aztec sites. The anthology of essays covered all kinds of fascinating topics, but Daniel was distracted by his own thoughts.
Finally he decided to give up on the Aztec sites. “Jack?”
“Hmm?”
“I just want you to know” - Jack put Newsweek on his lap on hearing that - “you’re free to tell anyone you want or need to about us.” That ought to have been a good thing, so Daniel didn’t quite understand Jack’s slightly pained look as he nodded. “What?” he asked.
Jack quickly said, “Nothing.”
“Liar.”
His partner fidgeted with the magazine cover for a minute while Daniel waited to be told what was going on. “It’s good, Daniel. I’m just not quite ready to say the same.”
Well, that made sense. In fact, he hadn’t expected Jack to be ready, since he was still in charge of a military base. “That’s fine. The people who I really wanted to know already do. I’m happy for other people to know, but I don’t need them too. Although we should probably tell Cassandra soon.”
Jack looked somewhat reassured. “If you change your mind…”
“I know.”
“Okay.”
Hopefully his other comment went over a little easier. “Also, how do you feel about ‘cariad’?”
“That depends. What is it?”
“It’s Welsh for ‘beloved’ or ‘darling.’ I’ve always liked it.” He’d picked up a decent amount of Welsh Gaelic during the semester he spent as an exchange student in London, where he’d had a Welsh roommate. Cariad had a great sound to it, somehow speaking to how love went back beyond human memory. He didn’t really like pet names but he did like endearments, if they weren’t ridiculously sappy.
Jack didn’t say anything in reply, but he did get out of his recliner and sit on the couch. Daniel suspected that this was the lead-in to a polite denial, so he was quite surprised when Jack kissed him.
“I’d like that,” whispered Jack right by his ear, and the tickle spread to Daniel’s spine. “Teach me.”
“Cariad.”
“Cariad,” echoed Jack. It was slightly hesitant and awkward pronunciation and yet, because Jack was saying it, meaning it, and learning the new word because Daniel liked it, Daniel decided he’d never heard a more perfect word of Welsh.
*****
“You know how jokes aren’t as funny if you have to explain them?” Jack asked Carter while they headed out for another set of boxes.
“Sure.”
“I wonder if it’s the same for Jaffa jokes.”
“I’m afraid to ask.” She grabbed a box labeled Egypt - 1993. “But Daniel is Teal’c’s best chance of anyone getting his jokes.”
This was true, and for the past ten minutes Daniel had been giving it his best effort. Only Daniel would quiz someone about the format of his culture’s jokes while maneuvering a bookcase inside.
“There’s a pool on why you retired,” Carter informed him.
“Oh?”
“I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to find out about it.”
He had no trouble believing that. “What’s the smart money on?”
“The favorites are me and ability to swear at the Pentagon.”
“Swearing at the Pentagon. I hadn’t thought of that.” Actually, it still wasn’t a great idea, tempting as it sometimes was.
“Don’t give me credit for inspiring you.”
Jack took the Greece - 1992 box. At least they were done hauling books. Daniel had a ton of books and the boxes had been heavy. He was going to feel this in his arms the next morning, Jack was sure of it. To his surprise, there were only two boxes left. “I can see the back of my truck cab,” he told Carter.
“Great.”
It was great, alright. This was the end of Daniel’s stuff that needed to be moved. The spare bedroom was, from now on, going to double as Daniel’s study. Mainly because there was nowhere else to fit all of his books and notes. It didn’t hurt that it gave him a place to put most of his strange decorations, either. Jack had sportingly agreed to put a few in other rooms because he wanted it to be home for Daniel, too. He still had his medals and his pictures of Charlie; there was room for some of Daniel’s things too, even if they were ugly.
“It refers to an ambush that I believe you would describe as ‘infamous,’” Teal’c was telling Daniel as they passed. “This ambush occurred several centuries ago.”
“What happened?” Daniel may not have gotten the jokes, but he and Teal’c both seemed to be enjoying the conversation.
Carter put her box down in the living room and then looked at the clock. “That didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I told Eddie I couldn’t have dinner until eight.”
“Good, then you have time for ice cream.”
“I definitely have time for ice cream,” she said, following him into the kitchen.
“You know where the bowls are.”
Jack was getting out the Haagen-Dazs when Daniel and Teal’c came in with the last of the boxes. “That’s everything,” declared Daniel.
All of Daniel’s things had been relocated and they’d left their keys to his apartment behind. It was real, now - they lived together. Jack felt a surge of emotion that he didn’t quite know how to express. After a minute of just looking at Daniel, he ventured, “Dulce de leche, cariad?”
Dulce de leche was Daniel’s favorite flavor of Haagen-Dazs, but that couldn’t be the reason for his megawatt-smile, so Jack figured he understood.
*****
It was a Tuesday when they finally made it to Santelli’s, so the restaurant wasn’t particularly crowded. Daniel had wanted to take Jack there for a long time; Santelli’s made the best Italian around and had a great, intimate atmosphere. The dining room was filled with two-person tables, underlining the fact that this was first and foremost a date restaurant.
Jack had taken the seat which gave him the best vantage point to see the entrance. He always did that and Daniel wasn’t bothered by it, at least not any more. The habit was so deeply ingrained that Jack did it automatically, wherever he was. Teal’c did the same thing.
Daniel was happy to see that his lover was relatively relaxed. For the first year of their relationship, any date was weighed down by the fact that Jack’s career - the entirety of his life’s work - could be brought down if anyone from the military learned they were together. Jack even looked a bit younger, with that fear no longer hanging overhead. It reminded Daniel once again how much Jack had cared for him, even in the beginning, to take such a huge risk.
“What do you think of getting a flat-screen TV?” asked Jack while they waited for their desserts. “The prices have come down, and the one I’ve - we’ve - got is getting old.” Not as old as the one from Daniel’s apartment, which had stopped working six months before he moved in with Jack but only made it to the dump during the move.
He really didn’t watch a lot of TV, but did enjoy curling up on the couch with Jack to watch movies. “Sounds good.”
“Here you are, gentlemen,” announced their waitress, cutting off further discussion of a new television. “One tiramisu and one amaretto cheesecake.”
“Thanks,” said Jack at the same time Daniel replied, “Thank you.”
“Enjoy your desserts.”
Jack looked at his cheesecake for a few moments longer than a quick, ‘looking over my dessert’ sort of gaze. Daniel stopped, a forkful of tiramisu halfway between the plate and his mouth. “What is it, Jack?”
“Thank you,” said Jack, the words full of emotion. “It couldn’t have been easy, hiding and… everything.”
He put his laden fork down and grabbed Jack’s hands. “It wasn’t easy for you, either.”
“But I had to. You didn’t.”
“I had you.” He squeezed Jack’s hands a bit. “I never doubted that it was worth it.”
Jack’s gaze was tender as he said, “I don’t tell you as much as I should: I love you.”
He’d never needed to hear it constantly. Once it had been said, he knew. And Jack showed him through actions, his preferred method of communication. What Jack did was always much more important than what he said.
“I love you,” he replied, “and I don’t need to hear it constantly to know anyway.”
They slipped their hands apart reluctantly, getting back to dessert. Daniel was a huge tiramisu fan, and Santelli’s was excellent. “How’s the cheesecake?”
“Great.” Jack took another forkful, but this time held it out. “Want a taste?”
He let Jack feed him a bite, savoring not just the cheesecake but their open togetherness.
...continued: ent-alter-ego.livejournal.com/6820.html