By The Time You Read This (5/8)
Title: By The Time You Read This
Author: enochiansigils and not_from_stars
Artist: weaselett
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart, James Lester, Jenny Lewis, Danny Quinn,
Rating/Category: PG-13
Summary: Abby had thought that after they came back from the anomaly, that the three of them could make a go of a relationship together. However, when Stephen and Becker fall into a pattern of doing nothing but fighting, it leads her to believe that they don't even care about her any longer. She leaves them a letter to say goodbye and disappears. Now, Stephen and Becker have to find a way to heal their old hurts between them in order to find Abby and convince her that they want to make a life together.
Warnings: This is a sequel to our casestory fic, From Where We're Standing, but can also be a stand alone story.
Words: 33,849
Notes: Written for au_bigbang 2011. Thank you very much to weaselett for the wonderful art that she made for us! We've loved writing this story and have very much enjoyed taking part in the challenge this year.
Three months.
Three months, one week, three days and sixteen hours.
That's how long it had been since she walked out on her entire life.
Abby's hands curled around the cup of tea she was supposedly drinking. In fact, she had been drinking this same cup of tea for the past hour since the security escort Lester insisted upon had left the flat. She wasn't quite sure why Lester had insisted on her having a security escort everywhere, but right now she was thankful for it. The visits and escorts from them had helped her keep a little bit in touch with the people at the ARC. She didn't dare contact any of them directly, but the security team helped her keep apprised of what was going on in her absence.
There were things that it hurt so badly to know, but it was also information that the team felt she needed to have access to. She felt guilty that they were currently forced to divide their loyalties between her and their captain, but every time she tried to apologize for it, she was firmly corrected. It wasn't like he had asked any of them where she was. Until he actually asked and they had to lie, then there were no loyalties being divided.
She wasn't really sure how she felt about it being so easy for Becker's team to hide things right in front of him.
Tonight after work, she had been picked up at the back entrance to the zoo and escorted home as was the usual routine. The two men with her checked the flat over to make sure it was safe for the night and left -- after making her promise once again that she would call the team if anything happened.
She hadn't said anything, but tonight their actions made her miss Becker and Stephen more than usual. She didn't know if it was because of her hormones or if it was just because they weren't here with her. She had known that being apart from them was going to be hard as hell, but she hadn't realized how much it was going to continue to hurt.
It didn't help that the security guys told her that Becker rarely smiled these days, or that Stephen had been to the ARC more than once to talk to people about her. The way it was sounding, her boys had become shadows of their former selves.
Her boys.
It didn't matter that she was no longer with them, she would always think of them as being hers -- even if that wasn't what had ended up happening.
Sighing, she turned towards the kitchen to pour out the now cold tea. She was at the sink when she first felt it. There was a small twinge against her stomach. She went still, moving her hand over the location and it happened again.
The baby was moving.
The tears that started sliding down her cheeks were a combination of wonder at the feeling, and sorrow that Stephen and Hilary were missing it.
Becker had been thinking about it a lot over the past few weeks, more than was probably normal. He couldn't stay at the ARC any longer. His performance was suffering -- noticeable only to him, maybe, but noticeable nonetheless -- and every step he took came with an ache that made his heart hurt. Not seeing Abby made it all pointless.
Which was why he was sitting on the couch with his laptop, working on a letter he'd never imagined he'd ever turn in.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed between when he'd started and when Stephen came home; all he knew was that he'd been working a while by the time he heard the door open. "We need to talk," he called over his shoulder.
Stephen came into the room when Becker said that. He had noticed the other man working on something and hadn't wanted to bother him. Now, though, he dropped to the sofa next to him.
"You have that look on your face," Stephen said quietly.
"What look?" Becker asked, half listening and half looking at the computer screen.
"That look that says you're thinking about doing something that you're going to regret someday."
"I can't imagine regretting it," Becker said with a negative shake of his head as he looked at Stephen. "I can't imagine regretting resigning."
Stephen stared at him. "What did you just say?"
"I'm resigning," Becker said again.
"No. Hilary, no." Stephen was shaking his head. "Why? You're good at what you do and you're the best the ARC has."
"I have to, Stephen. I can't do it. I can't work someplace she used to work."
"She'd die if she knew you resigned because of her, you know that." He reached out to touch his arm. "If it wasn't for you, she would have died before, Hilary."
"It's not because of her, it's because of me," Becker said. "I'm not... reacting to things the same, not responding the same. I'm slower. Hesitant."
"No. I've seen you. You haven't slowed down or hesitated at all. You're just more brusque with your men and the team. You're not reacting mentally the same or responding emotionally the same, but physically, you're still the best."
"I can't do it anymore, Stephen," he said, his voice breaking. "I can't be there and know I won't be seeing her when I come around a corner anymore."
"Oh Hil," Stephen put his arm around his boyfriend. "Hil, we're going to get her back you'll have her back at the ARC again."
"What if she doesn't want to come back?" The tears were coming now, slowly but still there. "What if we've hurt her too badly?"
"We can fix the hurt we caused her, Hilary. You know we can. She loves us, not matter how things are right now. This is Abby, our Abby. The woman that wanted to look out for us and keep us safe. We will find her because she won't assume otherwise."
"I'm scared that she's going to change her mind," he whispered, his voice tight. "That's she's going to decide it's not worth the pain we've caused her."
"That's not going to happen. We're every much a part of her as she is of us."
"I know," Becker said quietly. "Doesn't stop me from being scared, though."
"We both are, and I know that wherever she is, she's just as scared as we are," Stephen said quietly, one hand stroking Becker's hair.
"I'm still resigning," Becker said softly, the tears slowing. "Because even if I haven't started reacting differently... I can't be there anymore."
"I'll back you up with whatever you decide to do, love, but I really don't think you should do this," Stephen said, leaning his head against Becker's. "I know it hurts and I know it's hard... but I also know you. You will worry about the others if you're not there. You won't trust anyone else but you to keep them safe." He paused. "Ok, maybe not Quinn, but Cutter, Connor and Sarah? You won't trust anyone else because they're family." He took a breath. "And you know it would kill Abby if you left because of her."
"It's not because of her, it's because of me." Becker sighed and pulled back. "I can't react the way I need to inside to do this job as well as I have to do it."
It made Stephen hurt that Becker was giving up something that was so much a part of him. He didn't think it was the right decision for the other man, but he would stick by him. "Like I said, I'll back you up with whatever you decide to do... as long as it's not moving away from us." Because no. Just no.
"I'd never leave you," Becker said softly. "I love you too much. I need you too much."
"That's good to know because I'd hunt you down and bring you back."
"I love you, you know that?"
"I know and I love you."
Becker turned his attention back to his laptop and saved the document before closing it and shutting the computer down. "I'm going to talk to Lester in the morning."
"Do you need or want me to come with you?"
Becker thought about it for a moment. "No. I want you here, so if it goes badly I can at least look forward to coming home to you."
"Avoid punching Danny out and it won't go badly."
"I'll do my best."
The next day found Becker in a much more nervous state, tapping the envelope against one hand nervously as he poked his head into Lester's office. "Do you have a moment?"
Lester raised an eyebrow and gestured him in. "I believe that I can spare one or two."
"That's all I'll need, sir," Becker said, walking in and holding the envelope out.
Lester eyed the envelope like it was something poisonous, but finally took it. "And what would this be?"
"My resignation."
"Would you like to repeat that in a tone that doesn't make me think you're a bigger idiot than I expected?"
"It's my resignation, sir." No, still going to make Lester think he's an idiot.
"I see." He leaned back, tapping the envelope against one hand. "Why?"
"I'm not an effective leader anymore."
"That is the most idiotic thing I think I have ever heard you say," Lester commented dryly. "And I've seen and heard a great deal of idiocy here."
"My response times are too slow, for one thing," Becker said. "I don't react to anything like I should, for another."
Lester shook his head. "Try again. I do read the reports that are submitted to me, after all."
"I can't do it anymore, sir. I can't work someplace she used to work. She haunts this place and I can't take it anymore. Because sometimes it feels like she's here, but she's not. She never is. And I can't take thinking for a split second that I'm going to see her in one of the labs or down the hall or in the locker room and then not seeing her." His voice was shaking despite his best efforts.
Lester stared at him for a long moment. "So am I to understand that you've given up, then, Captain Becker? You've decided you're never going to see her again so you are throwing away everything you've worked for and running away."
"No! It's just.... I can't deal with the pain when I'm reminded of her every single second of the day. I can't figure anything out. I can't figure out how to get her back when I'm too busy fighting the pain of missing her."
"I see." Lester looked at him for a long moment and then he tore the envelope in half without opening it. Then he tore the halves in half again. "I didn't accept her resignation, what makes you think that I'm going to accept yours?"
Becker just stared at him. "What am I supposed to do, then?" And yes, that was his voice cracking.
"You will not resign your job or your commission. I don't relish having to try to explain to my team why their Captain retreated to a cave with his tail tucked firmly between his legs." He dropped the torn up envelope in the garbage can. "You will take a leave of absence if you truly feel that you cannot be here at the moment."
"That's not what I want to do, though." There wasn't a terribly strong tone in his voice as he said it.
"But that's what you're going to do," Lester continued. "Abby try to resign and her paperwork ended up in the same place as yours. You will go home and you will eat something substantial and then you will get a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow you will go over everything you have already done to find her and you will make sure you haven't overlooked anything." Lester's voice was almost gentle. "If, in a week, you are no closer to finding her than you are now, you and Hart will report to my office at eight a.m. and we will discuss the next steps you'll be taking."
Becker took a moment -- and a deep breath -- to pull himself back together. "If we aren't any closer to finding her in a week, I think my next move is going to be a leave. But you're right. For tonight, I'm going home and talking this over with Stephen and getting a decent night's sleep. Worrying is for tomorrow."
"I usually am right."
"If you were anyone else right now, sir, I'd be telling you to bite me." Becker quirked a grin. "But since you're you... I'll just say thank you."
"You're welcome. Now get out of my office and don't try anything this stupid again."
Becker let himself back into his flat an hour or so later, laughing softly to himself. Had he really been that stupid? Yes. Yes, he had.
Stephen looked up from the sofa when he came in. "How did it go?" His voice was cautious.
"Well, he didn't let me resign," Becker said, sitting next to Stephen.
"What?" Stephen was confused.
"He tore my resignation up and tossed it in the trash," Becker replied. "Told me to go home, eat, get some sleep, go over everything we've got in the morning. And in a week if we don't have anything more, you and I are going to meet with him and figure out from there where we go."
"He refused to let you resign?" Stephen was still confused. "Why did he do that?"
"I don't know," Becker said. "He said he didn't want to have to tell his team that I'd run with my tail between my legs."
Stephen winced and then frowned. "That's not what you're doing at all. He has no right to judge you like that."
"I don't think he meant it. Not the way it sounds, anyway. I think he was mostly just trying to shock some sense into me. Because he said that if I really feel like I can't be there, then I can just take a leave of absence."
"So he's being a controlling bastard again," Stephen muttered.
Becker touched Stephen's arm gently. "Down, Stephen. Don't be upset."
"He has no right to try to manipulate you, Hil."
"I think in his own way, he's trying to look out for me."
Stephen muttered something unflattering.
Becker snorted. "Be nice, you. And what's the matter? You're the one who didn't want me to quit, anyway."
"I know, but I still would have supported your decision."
"That... that means the world to me, Stephen. But I'll try it Lester's way. I'll give it another week, then we'll meet with him and see how it goes from there."
He sighed. "I should be happy that he didn't let you walk away."
"You just don't like seeing me hurt or pushed around. You never did."
Stephen nodded. "That's very true." He looked at Becker. "So what are we going to do?"
"We're going to take tonight and regroup and tomorrow we're going to start going over everything we know. Because maybe we'll find a clue somewhere that we've missed. Study Abby's habits."
"That sounds like a really good plan. There must be something that we aren't seeing. Because I know she wouldn't have left without some clue. I know she wants us to find her."
"We just have to figure out what that clue is," Becker said. "And damn it, we're going to figure it out. We have to get our Abby back."
Stephen squeezed his hand. "We will, Hil. You know we will. She's been away long enough and it's time we brought her back home where she belongs."
Their best efforts were for nothing, though, which was why a week later at eight in the morning found them in Lester's office.
Becker hadn't been looking forward to this meeting by any stretch of the imagination because he was going to have to tell Lester that he was taking a leave after all, and that was going to go over only slightly better than his attempt to resign.
Lester sighed when the two of them walked into his office, although he didn't let them see it. He couldn't believe the two of them were here and hadn't located Abby yet. He had all but told Becker where to go ... and yet here they were.
"Nothing, then?" It wasn't really a question.
"Nothing," Becker said quietly. "All we managed to come up with was that she'd have gone back to somewhere comfortable. If not the exact place, then somewhere similar. But we don't know what that is or where."
Lester closed the desk drawer he had been looking into quietly and stared at them for a long moment. He wanted to call them every kind of idiot that he could manage, but he knew that it wouldn't do any good right now.
"She could be working as a vet somewhere or with a security team. Lord knows she picked up enough skills to do so in the last few years no matter what rules we have in place."
"I'm going to be going on leave, sir. The others can easily look into Abby's whereabouts, operating on that assumption," Becker said.
Lester did not roll his eyes. He was too good for that, but he wanted to. He had just pretty much told Captain Becker the answer to where Abby was and he still was clueless. Instead, he gave him a small nod.
"All right. I'll submit you for two weeks and then we can re-evaluate the situation if we need to."
"Two weeks will be fine." Because he couldn't stay away any longer than that. The ARC was his life, even more so without Abby. "I just need time to get my head on straight." Because he was no good to anybody in the shape he was in.
Lester nodded. "I'm not going to disagree with that assessment." He turned the key on the drawer. "Maybe the two weeks will help the both of you stop being sodding idiots. I have very clearly given you the answer and you still haven't figured it out. I'm expecting that the two weeks of working your brains completely on this will yield more satisfactory results."
"It will, sir," Becker said with a slight nod.
Lester looked at Stephen. "Is there anything you would like to add, Hart?"
"No," Stephen said with a quick shake of his head.
That was probably a good thing, judging from the way Lester was looking at both of them. "Go home. Call me when you have any news."
"Yes, sir." Becker stood and waited for Stephen before leaving the office.
Lester watched them leave and then shook his head. He hoped that they put the puzzle together before too much more time passed. It was getting more and more difficult to keep things under control with each day that passed.
Four || Six
Author: enochiansigils and not_from_stars
Artist: weaselett
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart, James Lester, Jenny Lewis, Danny Quinn,
Rating/Category: PG-13
Summary: Abby had thought that after they came back from the anomaly, that the three of them could make a go of a relationship together. However, when Stephen and Becker fall into a pattern of doing nothing but fighting, it leads her to believe that they don't even care about her any longer. She leaves them a letter to say goodbye and disappears. Now, Stephen and Becker have to find a way to heal their old hurts between them in order to find Abby and convince her that they want to make a life together.
Warnings: This is a sequel to our casestory fic, From Where We're Standing, but can also be a stand alone story.
Words: 33,849
Notes: Written for au_bigbang 2011. Thank you very much to weaselett for the wonderful art that she made for us! We've loved writing this story and have very much enjoyed taking part in the challenge this year.
Three months.
Three months, one week, three days and sixteen hours.
That's how long it had been since she walked out on her entire life.
Abby's hands curled around the cup of tea she was supposedly drinking. In fact, she had been drinking this same cup of tea for the past hour since the security escort Lester insisted upon had left the flat. She wasn't quite sure why Lester had insisted on her having a security escort everywhere, but right now she was thankful for it. The visits and escorts from them had helped her keep a little bit in touch with the people at the ARC. She didn't dare contact any of them directly, but the security team helped her keep apprised of what was going on in her absence.
There were things that it hurt so badly to know, but it was also information that the team felt she needed to have access to. She felt guilty that they were currently forced to divide their loyalties between her and their captain, but every time she tried to apologize for it, she was firmly corrected. It wasn't like he had asked any of them where she was. Until he actually asked and they had to lie, then there were no loyalties being divided.
She wasn't really sure how she felt about it being so easy for Becker's team to hide things right in front of him.
Tonight after work, she had been picked up at the back entrance to the zoo and escorted home as was the usual routine. The two men with her checked the flat over to make sure it was safe for the night and left -- after making her promise once again that she would call the team if anything happened.
She hadn't said anything, but tonight their actions made her miss Becker and Stephen more than usual. She didn't know if it was because of her hormones or if it was just because they weren't here with her. She had known that being apart from them was going to be hard as hell, but she hadn't realized how much it was going to continue to hurt.
It didn't help that the security guys told her that Becker rarely smiled these days, or that Stephen had been to the ARC more than once to talk to people about her. The way it was sounding, her boys had become shadows of their former selves.
Her boys.
It didn't matter that she was no longer with them, she would always think of them as being hers -- even if that wasn't what had ended up happening.
Sighing, she turned towards the kitchen to pour out the now cold tea. She was at the sink when she first felt it. There was a small twinge against her stomach. She went still, moving her hand over the location and it happened again.
The baby was moving.
The tears that started sliding down her cheeks were a combination of wonder at the feeling, and sorrow that Stephen and Hilary were missing it.
Becker had been thinking about it a lot over the past few weeks, more than was probably normal. He couldn't stay at the ARC any longer. His performance was suffering -- noticeable only to him, maybe, but noticeable nonetheless -- and every step he took came with an ache that made his heart hurt. Not seeing Abby made it all pointless.
Which was why he was sitting on the couch with his laptop, working on a letter he'd never imagined he'd ever turn in.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed between when he'd started and when Stephen came home; all he knew was that he'd been working a while by the time he heard the door open. "We need to talk," he called over his shoulder.
Stephen came into the room when Becker said that. He had noticed the other man working on something and hadn't wanted to bother him. Now, though, he dropped to the sofa next to him.
"You have that look on your face," Stephen said quietly.
"What look?" Becker asked, half listening and half looking at the computer screen.
"That look that says you're thinking about doing something that you're going to regret someday."
"I can't imagine regretting it," Becker said with a negative shake of his head as he looked at Stephen. "I can't imagine regretting resigning."
Stephen stared at him. "What did you just say?"
"I'm resigning," Becker said again.
"No. Hilary, no." Stephen was shaking his head. "Why? You're good at what you do and you're the best the ARC has."
"I have to, Stephen. I can't do it. I can't work someplace she used to work."
"She'd die if she knew you resigned because of her, you know that." He reached out to touch his arm. "If it wasn't for you, she would have died before, Hilary."
"It's not because of her, it's because of me," Becker said. "I'm not... reacting to things the same, not responding the same. I'm slower. Hesitant."
"No. I've seen you. You haven't slowed down or hesitated at all. You're just more brusque with your men and the team. You're not reacting mentally the same or responding emotionally the same, but physically, you're still the best."
"I can't do it anymore, Stephen," he said, his voice breaking. "I can't be there and know I won't be seeing her when I come around a corner anymore."
"Oh Hil," Stephen put his arm around his boyfriend. "Hil, we're going to get her back you'll have her back at the ARC again."
"What if she doesn't want to come back?" The tears were coming now, slowly but still there. "What if we've hurt her too badly?"
"We can fix the hurt we caused her, Hilary. You know we can. She loves us, not matter how things are right now. This is Abby, our Abby. The woman that wanted to look out for us and keep us safe. We will find her because she won't assume otherwise."
"I'm scared that she's going to change her mind," he whispered, his voice tight. "That's she's going to decide it's not worth the pain we've caused her."
"That's not going to happen. We're every much a part of her as she is of us."
"I know," Becker said quietly. "Doesn't stop me from being scared, though."
"We both are, and I know that wherever she is, she's just as scared as we are," Stephen said quietly, one hand stroking Becker's hair.
"I'm still resigning," Becker said softly, the tears slowing. "Because even if I haven't started reacting differently... I can't be there anymore."
"I'll back you up with whatever you decide to do, love, but I really don't think you should do this," Stephen said, leaning his head against Becker's. "I know it hurts and I know it's hard... but I also know you. You will worry about the others if you're not there. You won't trust anyone else but you to keep them safe." He paused. "Ok, maybe not Quinn, but Cutter, Connor and Sarah? You won't trust anyone else because they're family." He took a breath. "And you know it would kill Abby if you left because of her."
"It's not because of her, it's because of me." Becker sighed and pulled back. "I can't react the way I need to inside to do this job as well as I have to do it."
It made Stephen hurt that Becker was giving up something that was so much a part of him. He didn't think it was the right decision for the other man, but he would stick by him. "Like I said, I'll back you up with whatever you decide to do... as long as it's not moving away from us." Because no. Just no.
"I'd never leave you," Becker said softly. "I love you too much. I need you too much."
"That's good to know because I'd hunt you down and bring you back."
"I love you, you know that?"
"I know and I love you."
Becker turned his attention back to his laptop and saved the document before closing it and shutting the computer down. "I'm going to talk to Lester in the morning."
"Do you need or want me to come with you?"
Becker thought about it for a moment. "No. I want you here, so if it goes badly I can at least look forward to coming home to you."
"Avoid punching Danny out and it won't go badly."
"I'll do my best."
The next day found Becker in a much more nervous state, tapping the envelope against one hand nervously as he poked his head into Lester's office. "Do you have a moment?"
Lester raised an eyebrow and gestured him in. "I believe that I can spare one or two."
"That's all I'll need, sir," Becker said, walking in and holding the envelope out.
Lester eyed the envelope like it was something poisonous, but finally took it. "And what would this be?"
"My resignation."
"Would you like to repeat that in a tone that doesn't make me think you're a bigger idiot than I expected?"
"It's my resignation, sir." No, still going to make Lester think he's an idiot.
"I see." He leaned back, tapping the envelope against one hand. "Why?"
"I'm not an effective leader anymore."
"That is the most idiotic thing I think I have ever heard you say," Lester commented dryly. "And I've seen and heard a great deal of idiocy here."
"My response times are too slow, for one thing," Becker said. "I don't react to anything like I should, for another."
Lester shook his head. "Try again. I do read the reports that are submitted to me, after all."
"I can't do it anymore, sir. I can't work someplace she used to work. She haunts this place and I can't take it anymore. Because sometimes it feels like she's here, but she's not. She never is. And I can't take thinking for a split second that I'm going to see her in one of the labs or down the hall or in the locker room and then not seeing her." His voice was shaking despite his best efforts.
Lester stared at him for a long moment. "So am I to understand that you've given up, then, Captain Becker? You've decided you're never going to see her again so you are throwing away everything you've worked for and running away."
"No! It's just.... I can't deal with the pain when I'm reminded of her every single second of the day. I can't figure anything out. I can't figure out how to get her back when I'm too busy fighting the pain of missing her."
"I see." Lester looked at him for a long moment and then he tore the envelope in half without opening it. Then he tore the halves in half again. "I didn't accept her resignation, what makes you think that I'm going to accept yours?"
Becker just stared at him. "What am I supposed to do, then?" And yes, that was his voice cracking.
"You will not resign your job or your commission. I don't relish having to try to explain to my team why their Captain retreated to a cave with his tail tucked firmly between his legs." He dropped the torn up envelope in the garbage can. "You will take a leave of absence if you truly feel that you cannot be here at the moment."
"That's not what I want to do, though." There wasn't a terribly strong tone in his voice as he said it.
"But that's what you're going to do," Lester continued. "Abby try to resign and her paperwork ended up in the same place as yours. You will go home and you will eat something substantial and then you will get a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow you will go over everything you have already done to find her and you will make sure you haven't overlooked anything." Lester's voice was almost gentle. "If, in a week, you are no closer to finding her than you are now, you and Hart will report to my office at eight a.m. and we will discuss the next steps you'll be taking."
Becker took a moment -- and a deep breath -- to pull himself back together. "If we aren't any closer to finding her in a week, I think my next move is going to be a leave. But you're right. For tonight, I'm going home and talking this over with Stephen and getting a decent night's sleep. Worrying is for tomorrow."
"I usually am right."
"If you were anyone else right now, sir, I'd be telling you to bite me." Becker quirked a grin. "But since you're you... I'll just say thank you."
"You're welcome. Now get out of my office and don't try anything this stupid again."
Becker let himself back into his flat an hour or so later, laughing softly to himself. Had he really been that stupid? Yes. Yes, he had.
Stephen looked up from the sofa when he came in. "How did it go?" His voice was cautious.
"Well, he didn't let me resign," Becker said, sitting next to Stephen.
"What?" Stephen was confused.
"He tore my resignation up and tossed it in the trash," Becker replied. "Told me to go home, eat, get some sleep, go over everything we've got in the morning. And in a week if we don't have anything more, you and I are going to meet with him and figure out from there where we go."
"He refused to let you resign?" Stephen was still confused. "Why did he do that?"
"I don't know," Becker said. "He said he didn't want to have to tell his team that I'd run with my tail between my legs."
Stephen winced and then frowned. "That's not what you're doing at all. He has no right to judge you like that."
"I don't think he meant it. Not the way it sounds, anyway. I think he was mostly just trying to shock some sense into me. Because he said that if I really feel like I can't be there, then I can just take a leave of absence."
"So he's being a controlling bastard again," Stephen muttered.
Becker touched Stephen's arm gently. "Down, Stephen. Don't be upset."
"He has no right to try to manipulate you, Hil."
"I think in his own way, he's trying to look out for me."
Stephen muttered something unflattering.
Becker snorted. "Be nice, you. And what's the matter? You're the one who didn't want me to quit, anyway."
"I know, but I still would have supported your decision."
"That... that means the world to me, Stephen. But I'll try it Lester's way. I'll give it another week, then we'll meet with him and see how it goes from there."
He sighed. "I should be happy that he didn't let you walk away."
"You just don't like seeing me hurt or pushed around. You never did."
Stephen nodded. "That's very true." He looked at Becker. "So what are we going to do?"
"We're going to take tonight and regroup and tomorrow we're going to start going over everything we know. Because maybe we'll find a clue somewhere that we've missed. Study Abby's habits."
"That sounds like a really good plan. There must be something that we aren't seeing. Because I know she wouldn't have left without some clue. I know she wants us to find her."
"We just have to figure out what that clue is," Becker said. "And damn it, we're going to figure it out. We have to get our Abby back."
Stephen squeezed his hand. "We will, Hil. You know we will. She's been away long enough and it's time we brought her back home where she belongs."
Their best efforts were for nothing, though, which was why a week later at eight in the morning found them in Lester's office.
Becker hadn't been looking forward to this meeting by any stretch of the imagination because he was going to have to tell Lester that he was taking a leave after all, and that was going to go over only slightly better than his attempt to resign.
Lester sighed when the two of them walked into his office, although he didn't let them see it. He couldn't believe the two of them were here and hadn't located Abby yet. He had all but told Becker where to go ... and yet here they were.
"Nothing, then?" It wasn't really a question.
"Nothing," Becker said quietly. "All we managed to come up with was that she'd have gone back to somewhere comfortable. If not the exact place, then somewhere similar. But we don't know what that is or where."
Lester closed the desk drawer he had been looking into quietly and stared at them for a long moment. He wanted to call them every kind of idiot that he could manage, but he knew that it wouldn't do any good right now.
"She could be working as a vet somewhere or with a security team. Lord knows she picked up enough skills to do so in the last few years no matter what rules we have in place."
"I'm going to be going on leave, sir. The others can easily look into Abby's whereabouts, operating on that assumption," Becker said.
Lester did not roll his eyes. He was too good for that, but he wanted to. He had just pretty much told Captain Becker the answer to where Abby was and he still was clueless. Instead, he gave him a small nod.
"All right. I'll submit you for two weeks and then we can re-evaluate the situation if we need to."
"Two weeks will be fine." Because he couldn't stay away any longer than that. The ARC was his life, even more so without Abby. "I just need time to get my head on straight." Because he was no good to anybody in the shape he was in.
Lester nodded. "I'm not going to disagree with that assessment." He turned the key on the drawer. "Maybe the two weeks will help the both of you stop being sodding idiots. I have very clearly given you the answer and you still haven't figured it out. I'm expecting that the two weeks of working your brains completely on this will yield more satisfactory results."
"It will, sir," Becker said with a slight nod.
Lester looked at Stephen. "Is there anything you would like to add, Hart?"
"No," Stephen said with a quick shake of his head.
That was probably a good thing, judging from the way Lester was looking at both of them. "Go home. Call me when you have any news."
"Yes, sir." Becker stood and waited for Stephen before leaving the office.
Lester watched them leave and then shook his head. He hoped that they put the puzzle together before too much more time passed. It was getting more and more difficult to keep things under control with each day that passed.
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