Fic: Both Sides Now (1/1)

[enitharmonwept]

Title: Both Sides Now

Author: fourzoas

Characters: Matt Devlin, James Steel

Setting/Spoilers: Midway through Law & Order | UK 1.07 (“Alesha”)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: The show and characters belong to ITV; I’m just borrowing them.

A/N: Thanks to persiflage_1 for beta, Brit-pick, and suggestions.

Comments

[persiflage_1]

This is brief but very thought-provoking.

Every victim haunts them, but this one walks among them, breathes their air.

Just to make it even more horrendous and painful for them all...

To make this work in court-if Merrick pushes it that far-he’ll need to be the barrister who can watch her violation without breaching the security of the defendant’s dock.

And James is definitely that passionate and capable of that much anger that he would want to smack Merrick.

He has to watch because he claimed he was as angry as she was. As soon as he’d said it, he knew there was no way he ever could be.

I thought that was interesting - that James said he was angry as Alesha. It was obvious to me, at least, that he couldn't be.

He needs to watch because she’s not going to be able to watch it for him this time. This time he has to find his heart on his own.

*hugs James hard*

Of course, neither thinks that perhaps she can lead herself out

If anyone's strong enough to do that, it's Alesha.

[fourzoas]

This is brief but very thought-provoking.

Thanks; I'm glad you found it so. I like to write tiny things, but I always end up stressing over them in disproportionate amounts--as you well know! :-)

I thought that was interesting - that James said he was angry as Alesha. It was obvious to me, at least, that he couldn't be.

That moment is going to figure heavily in the next story I'm working on (the one I sent you the beginning for) because it's such a very real moment (to me, anyway). He assumes, for whatever reason (their shared passion for the law/justice, the care they feel for one another, etc.), that he can make that statement, but there's no way that he can. I do think, though, on some level that he can be as angry as she is, but his anger comes from places that will be very, very different to hers.

[persiflage_1]

Thanks; I'm glad you found it so. I like to write tiny things, but I always end up stressing over them in disproportionate amounts--as you well know! :-)

Indeed. But it's understandable - less is more, after all...

That moment is going to figure heavily in the next story I'm working on (the one I sent you the beginning for) because it's such a very real moment (to me, anyway). He assumes, for whatever reason (their shared passion for the law/justice, the care they feel for one another, etc.), that he can make that statement, but there's no way that he can. I do think, though, on some level that he can be as angry as she is, but his anger comes from places that will be very, very different to hers.

Oh yes - I think he could grow to be as angry as Alesha - but he wasn't at that point - and, as you say, it was a different kind of anger.

ETA: Just noticed you changed the last line from when I posted my first comment...

[fourzoas]

Oh yes - I think he could grow to be as angry as Alesha - but he wasn't at that point - and, as you say, it was a different kind of anger.

The thing that I've noticed on the timeline is that there's about a week between the initial visit to Merrick and that moment; I like to think that his anger is real and very personal, but that professionally he knew the chances were slim. And I'll shut up about it now before I end up writing that fic in the comments! ;-)

ETA: Just noticed you changed the last line from when I posted my first comment...

Yeah. That was the main thing that was bugging me about the fic, and I decided that I didn't want to pull the punch in the end. While they both end up doing the right thing to help put the case to bed, I think they each deal with some pretty heavy-duty soul searching and evaluating when they find out about Dianne.

[kathpup]

That last line feels like a punch in the gut, and I like the way you contrasted their reactions to the tape.

[fourzoas]

Sorry about the punch; as I noted upthread, I almost pulled it.

That scene with the tape really stuck with me after first viewing, and the juxtaposition of Matt at the window versus the other three at the table intrigued. I thought the choice to watch/not watch said something about each of them. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for your comment!

[kathpup]

Sorry about the punch; as I noted upthread, I almost pulled it.

I'm glad you didn't, it hurt, but it was a great way to end it.

[xbeyondinsanex]

***It’s not the same when the victim on the screen is the object of your-Matt’s not certain what she is to him, exactly. Ronnie was right to call them mates, but Matt knows he’s wanted something more from her for a long, long time***

Love this bit. I think it's strange, but perhaps this whole incident kind of cleared Matt's head where she was concerned. Gret fic, poetic. I love your narrative style.

[fourzoas]

Thanks--I thought you might like that part! ;-)

I think it's strange, but perhaps this whole incident kind of cleared Matt's head where she was concerned.

You know, we get so little between them through the whole series, but it's clear that there's something there--a hint of interest, a small flirtation. I was really intrigued with the way the script for "Alesha" clearly marked relationships between Alesha and both men: Ronnie's comment about them being mates, James's statement that they had a personal relationship. It really opened up this delicious tension that I hope will be somewhat explored in the next episodes--but not at the expense of the formula, which is what L&O is about, darnit! They're not supposed to outline ships for us too clearly! ;-)

Really glad you enjoyed and thanks for your comment!

[xbeyondinsanex]

Right. It's kind of fun to draw from, this open palette. I am used to shows with established dynamics that I have to play with, and this is more like shades of crimson, depending on how you look.

[oltha_heri]

Oh god, you are dealing with this really well. I haven't been able to touch these characters since Alesha 'cause I just don't know how to make them interact, but you do it so well. The reactions seem completely in character, this especially struck me as accurate, given how we saw their proceeding interactions: "This time he has to find his heart on his own."

[fourzoas]

I haven't been able to touch these characters since Alesha 'cause I just don't know how to make them interact

I didn't think I'd find a way to do it myself, but sticking to the unexamined spaces in the episode has actually made it possible for me to write them. I'm hoping that I can eventually move on to do some other things that are a bit lighter.

This time he has to find his heart...

The thing that makes this episode so compelling and difficult is the way it illuminates the ways that characters interact with and understand each other. Alesha has been his heart this whole season, and all of a sudden she's begging him to have a heart for her situation.

But really, in the end, all I could think of was that he has to watch this thing happen to her and he can do nothing to stop it. It's just awful.

[flirtyfroggy]

I love the contrast between their reactions and, more importantly, the reasons behind it. And I especially love that you then contrasted them both to her thoughts. And the last line: ouch! But in a good way.

[fourzoas]

Really glad that you enjoyed it; that scene struck me right away, and I knew that I wanted to eventually do some thinking about their positions in the room and how they revealed their perspectives/thoughts. Thanks for the comment!