Casanova: 6. Pause (1/2)
Title: Casanova
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: over all, NC-17. this chapter, R.
Summary: It didnt start out as love. It wasnt meant to be anything near it. Why does it seem to be heading that way?
A/N: It's been a while :/
6. Pause
The days are the same. They laugh at each other’s expense, they live and breathe in each other’s presence. They bicker over the smallest things and agree on the most unlikely. Nothing changes. But the nights…
The nights are different. The nights are heat, and lust, and wanting. Junsu’s body leaves Yoochun breathless and never sated, no matter how many times they release while in each other’s embrace. It’s hot. Heavy. Addictive. And it’s not nearly enough. Because the moment the sun brushes against the horizon, its Junsu’s cue to leave and the day goes on as if they hadn’t spent the midnight hours fucking. Exploring each other’s bodies in the most intimate way. A lover’s way.
Except they weren’t lovers.
The first time it had happened, it was a wonder he’d had the self-control to wait until Junsu had completely vacated the bedroom before curling in around himself. To give in to the hurt. The sting of rejection. Anger-emotions he had no right to feel. But then Junsu had come back that night, and Yoochun didn’t know what to feel. Surprise, most definitely. Elation, unreasonably and only because he never thought he’d get another chance.
Yoochun had spent the day in his room, refusing to acknowledge that he was moping, and wallowing in self-deprecation. But Junsu had come, knocking lightly on his door but not bothering to wait for a response before entering. He came to Yoochun with soft kisses and a tender caress; touches with slender fingers that seemed slightly apologetic, but unable to say them out loud. So Yoochun had accepted that night. And the following night, as well as the next and he would continue to do so because he was falling, falling, falling, and time was running out.
But it hurt. It did, it really did. To watch Junsu slip from the bed-their bed-just as the sun rose, almost like their time together had been nothing. Yoochun didn’t like it, didn’t understand the ridiculous amount of pain that surged through him every morning Junsu made to pull away. Yoochun was a host, had done the leaving most mornings, so these things should have been natural for him. Except Yoochun had never been cold hearted. He wasn’t the type to just take his pleasure, give some of it, and go. No, he wasn’t. He’d always leave with a soft kiss on the cheek or a last warm embrace. But Junsu…
Junsu left like it was nothing, and Yoochun hurt.
--
“Okay, thanks. You can stop laughing now.” Junsu grumbled, pushing the cart along as Yoochun continued to chuckle beside him.
“You’ll forgive me if I find it extremely funny that someone who cooks doesn’t know the difference between cabbage and lettuce.”
“It’s not like I’m some expert,” Junsu said, pausing to pick up some canned goods on the shelf. “I just know enough not to burn the house down.”
“That’s more than most people,” Yoochun mused, guiding their pushcart out of the way of another while Junsu debated between different brands of creamed mushroom. He rather liked standing there, reveling in the domesticity of shopping for groceries together. It made all sorts of red flags go up in his head, but those were things he’d decided to resolutely ignore. He was already in too deep anyway.
“To be honest, I’ve cooked more in the last few weeks than I have my entire life,” Junsu confessed with a sheepish grin. “I’ve never gone to a grocery store to buy groceries either. A housekeeper usually does all of that since most of the time I’m too busy with work.”
Yoochun nodded and hummed noncommittally, making it a point to be the one to push the cart when they moved. “Is that resentment I hear? Do you not like your job?”
Junsu shrugged, leading the way out of the aisle and turning into the next. “I don’t hate it or anything, but I don’t love it either.”
“Well, what about quitting? Finding something that you might actually enjoy?” They were in the aisle for jarred preservatives and Yoochun picked up a jar of peaches, looking at Junsu for confirmation. They’d talked about desserts in the car on the way to the grocery store and Yoochun discovered he rather liked peaches (mostly just the way they reminded him of Junsu’s luscious behind).
“Nope. No can do,” Junsu said with a humorless chuckle. “It’s the family business. I’m sort of obligated to participate.” To Yoochun’s silent question he added, “Excellent choice, Mickey.”
Yoochun ignored the sharp sting of pain at hearing his alias, grip tightening unconsciously around the glass jar. He gave Junsu a forced smile and hurriedly placed the item into their cart and continued down the aisle, walking ahead of Junsu so that the other man wouldn’t see the sour look he was sure was still on his face. Yoochun was seriously beginning to hate that name. For a while now, it was the name he’d gone by and relishing the persona it came with, at times maybe even hiding behind it. Right now though, it only served as another reminder of the wide gulf that sat between Yoochun and the man he’d sorely become captivated with.
He felt his frown deepen and walked all the way to the loaves of bread lined up at the end of the aisle. It’s not like he could say anything about Junsu’s career choices. Yoochun knew all about filial obligations, the suffocation of trying to fit a mold, doing everything and still not enough. Look where that got him.
“You like bread?” Yoochun grunted in surprise. He hadn’t heard Junsu come up next to him. “I’ve never seen someone so eager to get to the bread section. Should we stop by a bakery on the way home?”
“No, it’s fine. We don’t - yeah, I like bread but,” Yoochun struggled to come up with an appropriate excuse, cursing himself in his head for being so obvious. “No need to go to a bakery. This is good.” He grabbed a loaf and forced himself to walk at a slower pace, schooling his expression into something more neutral.
They continued in a relatively comfortable silence with Junsu blissfully unaware of Yoochun’s simmering inner turmoil. It annoyed him that Junsu was so oblivious but Yoochun couldn’t really blame him, not when Yoochun was doing his best to hide it. It didn’t hurt any less either, to walk this close-to be this close-and have no right at all. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that was guaranteed to manifest as another sour expression.
“-listening? Yah, did you hear me?”
“What?” Yoochun startled, disoriented as he once again pulled out of his turbulent thoughts.
Junsu gave him look, a slightly comical mix of exasperation and concern. “Are you okay? You’ve been… odd since we left the house. Is there something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong,” Yoochun answered with a shake of his head. “Just. I don’t know. Maybe it’s being out and into civilization again. It’s been a while since I’ve seen other people.” A pinched look, something like embarrassment and apology crossed Junsu’s face.
“I’m sorry,” Junsu said immediately, halting their cart in the middle of the aisle. “That’s my fault. I didn’t-”
“Wait, that’s not what I meant,” Yoochun interrupted, angling their cart out of the way as he cursed himself inwardly. “I don’t mind not seeing other people. I’ve gotten so used to the house I didn’t even notice. But that’s-that’s not even it, I guess.” He shrugged, going for half-truths because lying didn’t feel right and the whole truth wasn’t something he should burden Junsu with. “I really don’t know. I don’t feel like myself today.”
Junsu scrutinized him for a moment and Yoochun could feel himself burn under that gaze. Was it stupid to want it? To have Junsu see him, watch him, return the looks Yoochun snuck when he was sure Junsu wasn’t looking?
“We’re going home.” Junsu announced, his stare unwavering as he waited for Yoochun to respond.
“Sure.” Yoochun answered, not against the thought of being alone with Junsu again. “Let me just…” Junsu didn’t even hear the rest, already half a dozen steps ahead of him with the cart in tow. Yoochun pursed his lips, darting into an aisle to pick up a canister of coffee and a bag of sugar before hurrying after Junsu. The other man was already in line for the register, piling their items onto the counter.
Junsu was quiet as he came up to help, throwing him sidelong glances that Yoochun figured he deserved. He was glad for the concern, even if it was a little disconcerting. He didn’t even have the heart to argue when Junsu handed over his credit card to the cashier and insisted on paying for everything. Yoochun was a little too happy being Junsu’s current focus. It seemed like he spent every waking moment of the past few weeks with nothing but Junsu on his mind, and even if that’s how it was supposed to be anyway (all part of the job of course), knowing that it was his turn to occupy Junsu’s thoughts was enough to lift Yoochun’s spiraling mood.
As they headed out the exit and towards the car with their bagged groceries in hand, Junsu stopped abruptly, eyes a little wide as he stared at Yoochun.
“What?” Yoochun asked. “What’s wrong?”
Junsu opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, averting his eyes as another thought seemed to pass his face. “I-err-forgot to buy something.”
“Okay then…” Yoochun said slowly, not really understanding why Junsu suddenly looked like a skittish horse about to bolt. “We’ll put these in the car and go back in.”
“NO!” Junsu exclaimed, startling Yoochun with his outburst. “I mean um… no. It’s-it’s fine. You… go and get the car started and I’ll go back and buy it myself.”
“If you say so,” Yoochun murmured, more to himself seeing as Junsu was already rushing to the car and popping the trunk open. He watched curiously as Junsu hurriedly relieved himself of his bags, handing Yoochun the car keys on his way back.
“You can drive if you want. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Yoochun nodded, following Junsu with his eyes as the other man jogged back into the grocery store. Seemed like he wasn’t the only one who was acting weird. Junsu wasn’t himself either. Not that I’m complaining, Yoochun thought to himself as he slid into the plush leather of the driver’s seat of Junsu’s car, humming in pleasure at the luxury. Junsu had a wonderful taste in cars.
Yoochun took the liberty of starting the engine, enjoying the smooth purr of the motor as he turned the key. He fiddled with the radio for a moment, wrinkling his nose at the songs playing, none of them to his liking. Yoochun went for the center console where he knew Junsu kept a number of CDs. He hadn’t had a chance to peruse them earlier on the ride to the grocery store but decided that now wouldn’t be such a bad time to do it.
Peering at the titles, Yoochun wasn’t surprised to find that a number of the selection were some of his favorite albums. He’d discovered early on that despite their difference in temperament, they had quite a lot in common. Yoochun chose a mixed album with various acoustic covers of popular songs from a few years ago and slipped it into the CD player. He was singing along to an Eric Carmen song when Junsu appeared.
Prisoner of illusion, sentence is suspended…
“What’d you forget?” Yoochun asked as Junsu climbed in, eying the small brown paper bag Junsu clutched in one hand.
“Nothing. Just-something.” Junsu replied vaguely, obviously flustered as he dropped the bag onto the car’s floor and pushed it under the seat with his foot. “Don’t worry about it.”
Yoochun raised an eyebrow at Junsu’s odd behavior. “All right.” He said, backing out of the parking space and starting out the parking lot. He flicked the headlights on, observant of the low afternoon sun starting its descent into the horizon. Overhead, streetlights were flickering on one by one, lighting the road and throwing the interior of the car into shadows at equal intervals.
There was a certain appeal, Yoochun thought, in stopping at an intersection and watching the traffic lights glimmer over the dashboard and light up Junsu’s face. The shadows weren’t deep-not yet-and he could still admire Junsu’s features and wonder at the thoughtful expression in his eyes. As the music smoothly transitioned into another song, Yoochun couldn’t help but smile at the coincidence, ignoring the slight ache that came with the realization.
I’ve got all that I need, right here in the passenger seat…
“Something funny?” Junsu asked, saying something for the first time since they started home. Yoochun glanced at him, smile growing at the curious look on Junsu’s face.
“Not funny,” Yoochun answered, forcing his eyes back onto the road. They slid back again the next chance he got. “More like… appropriate.”
“What is?”
Yoochun just smiled.
--
Yoochun was getting impatient. It was already half past midnight and Junsu had yet to appear. While that in itself wasn’t unusual Yoochun couldn’t deny the reason for his impatience.
A week. That was all they had left and Junsu only came to him at night. It’s not that sex was all Yoochun was after; he enjoyed Junsu’s company during the day too. But in the daylight hours, without the cover of darkness and with ‘companionship’ as some thinly veiled excuse, a wall had come between them. There was always something in the way of honesty, words Yoochun was bursting to say but wouldn’t dare to. Junsu’s sincerity also came into question, the way he’d say ‘Mickey’ with a smile that never quite reached his eyes and always maintaining an appropriate distance between their bodies at all times.
Yoochun didn’t question it, didn’t call Junsu out on it because really, what right did he have? He was all too aware of his place even if Junsu had obscured the boundaries with his nightly visits. In the end it was the waiting that got to him. Would Junsu come tonight? Would he let Yoochun touch him, kiss him, have him, even if for only a few hours of the night? Pathetic, that much Yoochun conceded. It was his job to seduce, to incite lust, to have his client wanting, and yet…
Here he was, sprawled on a large bed resting with his back against the headboard waiting for the subject of his affection to knock quietly at the door.
Pathetic.
Then again, he could always go to Junsu. It’s not like they’d made a rule about who initiated, but he was under the impression that it had to be Junsu’s way or… nothing. It was obvious in the way Junsu conducted himself in the mornings, smiling at Yoochun over a late breakfast as if they hadn’t fucked till dawn. Masochistic maybe, but Yoochun was getting used to the ache it left him with.
Yoochun climbed off the bed with a sigh, irritated now though mostly at himself. The tiny part irritated at Junsu simmered; was it too much to ask that Junsu be as anxious as he was, even just a little? For someone who was accustomed to being so self-assured, this constant doubting and wondering were taking a toll on his ego.
Yoochun left his room and headed for only one of two places Junsu could be: his own bedroom or the study. He hoped for the latter and didn’t even want to think of the probable despair he’d sink into if Junsu had decided to retire for the night without seeking him out. He was becoming so predictable.
He walked past Junsu’s bedroom with barely a glance at the closed door, looking straight ahead as if sheer will would have Junsu anywhere else but there. Yoochun talked himself into calmly walking down the second floor, pacing his steps towards the study. He let out a heavy sigh of relief upon seeing the door ajar. Yoochun listened outside for a moment, ears straining for the tell tale sounds of Junsu working at his computer before knocking quietly and peeking ever so subtly inside.
Junsu looked up, surprise etched onto his face. “Oh, you’re still awake?”
Yoochun suppressed a self-deprecating smile. But of course. “I was under the impression you were supposed to be on vacation,” he said, choosing not to answer the obvious question.
“Yes, well. Duty calls.” Junsu shrugged and Yoochun could hear the fatigue in his tone. He stepped into the room, assuming he could since Junsu hadn’t ordered him out.
“It’s pretty late. Are you sure you still understand half of what you’re doing?” he stood beside Junsu’s chair and peered at the computer screen, making a face. “Inventory. Yuck. Aren’t you supposed to get lower level employees to do that? What’s the point of being the boss if you can’t order people around?”
“This is called double checking,” Junsu managed to say with a tired smile. “I’m supposed to make sure all the numbers add up. Or something like that. But it’s taking longer than it should because numbers aren’t my friends.”
“Aren’t your friends?” Yoochun echoed with a chuckle. “That’s code for ‘you suck at math’, right?”
Junsu grimaced. “Don’t say the ‘m’ word!”
“The ‘m’ word?” Yoochun repeated with an arched brow.
“You know, m-a-t-h. The ‘m’ word.”
“All right, no more ‘m-a-t-h’ for you. I can’t believe you call it the ‘m’ word.” Yoochun said, reaching for Junsu’s wrist to tug him out of his chair. Junsu resisted, though obviously reluctant to do so.
“I’ve got to finish this,” he insisted. “If I don’t do this now, it’ll get in the way later.”
Yoochun loomed over him, steadying himself with a hand on the edge of Junsu’s desk as he leaned in to invade Junsu’s personal space. “Are you saying you’d rather sit here and do work you aren’t supposed to do instead of going up stairs and occupying your bed like you should be?”
“No, I wouldn’t rather, but…” he looked pointedly at his computer screen. “The numbers aren’t going to add themselves up.”
Yoochun watched him silently for a moment, seemingly thinking of something before coming to a conclusion. “All right. If I told you I could help you make the numbers add themselves up, would I get a reward?”
“You can do that?” Junsu asked, looking skeptical but Yoochun didn’t miss the way Junsu’s eyes flicked to his mouth at the mention of a reward.
“If I did, do I get a reward?” Yoochun persisted, eyes roaming suggestively over the front of Junsu’s body.
“What kind of reward?” Junsu asked, slightly breathless. Yoochun smirked.
“Well that’s a dumb question. Don’t you already know the answer?” Yoochun couldn’t resist a wink at Junsu before pulling away, turning his attention to the computer. He examined the information on the screen for a long moment before bending slightly to tap at the keys. Yoochun was aware that his ass wasn’t exactly his best asset, but he made sure Junsu noticed what little he did have.
“What are you doing?” Junsu asked, sounding curious but not entirely focused. Yoochun wiggled his ass, just a little.
“The thing with computers,” Yoochun began, reaching for the mouse and moving the arrow to click on a few things. “Is that with a little tinkering, they can do almost everything for you. You’re using the right program but I noticed you’re doing all the numbers manually. What I’m doing is setting up a formula so that you don’t have to. See here?” he pointed to a long column of numbers on the screen. “Once I input the formula, all you have to do is type in the numbers and the total comes out at the bottom. You can even cross reference it by rows.”
Junsu scooted next to him, watching Yoochun’s work with eyes slightly wide and very impressed. “Where’d you learn how to do that?”
Yoochun grinned at him over his shoulder. “Tech-geek friend. Changmin, from the club. Have you met him?”
“Briefly,” Junsu said with a wave of his hand. “Why would he teach you this?”
Yoochun paused, fingers stalling above the keys as he wondered how to answer. “I used to do inventory too,” he answered vaguely, more half truths spilling from his mouth. “An old job that I didn’t like too much, so I quit after a while.” Junsu nodded, accepting his explanation without any further questions. Yoochun sighed inwardly.
“And there you go,” Yoochun said, hitting the ‘enter’ button to apply the new formula. “That should make things easier for you.” He slowly turned to Junsu with an expectant grin.
“Reward now?” Junsu asked a little shyly, equally expectant but trying not to be obvious about it.
“You’ve got work to finish,” Yoochun teased lightly, pushing away from the desk and easing onto Junsu’s lap. He hooked one knee over the armrest to sit more comfortably on Junsu’s thighs. “But I’ll take what I can get for now and collect more later.”
“Mi-” Junsu breathed as Yoochun leaned in.
“Yoochun.” He whispered against Junsu’s lips, any other words lost in the slow kiss Yoochun made sure to savor. Yoochun wasn’t one for outright romanticism, didn’t care to look for something more the things he did, and was content as long it felt good. It intrigued him how Junsu always tasted sweet, like coffee with a tad too much sugar-just the way he liked it. He couldn’t explain it, the taste heady and addictive, and maybe it was just as well. Yoochun shouldn’t get attached to things he had to leave.
“Yoochun-ah,” Junsu groaned, his hand kneading higher on Yoochun’s thigh. Yoochun shivered at the sound of his name, liking the way he felt it on his mouth.
“Hmm?” Yoochun wriggled in Junsu’s lap, sighing at the feel of Junsu’s firming cock against his ass. “Work, yeah?” he reminded as Junsu cupped him through his sweats. Yoochun moaned, spreading his thighs to give Junsu better access.
“Yeah. Work. Uhuh.” He palmed Yoochun’s cock and Yoochun arched into the touch, hard pressed to pull away when Junsu tried to slip into his underwear.
“I’ll wait for you upstairs,” he said, reluctantly extricating himself from Junsu’s lap.
“But-”
“You said so yourself: it’ll get in the way later.”
“It’s getting in the way now,” Junsu growled, a rare scowl marring the usually amiable lines of his face.
“Then hurry.” Yoochun suggested with a playful tug on the loop of strings tied at the top of Junsu’s shorts. The playful tone was a little more difficult, his raging erection protesting against his legs heading for the door.
A/N: Broken into 2 parts because I'm an idiot and LJ refuses to cooperate with idiots at 1 in the morning. 2nd part will be up as soon as my internet connection decides to shoot itself and revive into something more reliable. Smut in the 2nd part, so the wait should be worth it :D
comments are ♥
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: over all, NC-17. this chapter, R.
Summary: It didnt start out as love. It wasnt meant to be anything near it. Why does it seem to be heading that way?
A/N: It's been a while :/
6. Pause
The days are the same. They laugh at each other’s expense, they live and breathe in each other’s presence. They bicker over the smallest things and agree on the most unlikely. Nothing changes. But the nights…
The nights are different. The nights are heat, and lust, and wanting. Junsu’s body leaves Yoochun breathless and never sated, no matter how many times they release while in each other’s embrace. It’s hot. Heavy. Addictive. And it’s not nearly enough. Because the moment the sun brushes against the horizon, its Junsu’s cue to leave and the day goes on as if they hadn’t spent the midnight hours fucking. Exploring each other’s bodies in the most intimate way. A lover’s way.
Except they weren’t lovers.
The first time it had happened, it was a wonder he’d had the self-control to wait until Junsu had completely vacated the bedroom before curling in around himself. To give in to the hurt. The sting of rejection. Anger-emotions he had no right to feel. But then Junsu had come back that night, and Yoochun didn’t know what to feel. Surprise, most definitely. Elation, unreasonably and only because he never thought he’d get another chance.
Yoochun had spent the day in his room, refusing to acknowledge that he was moping, and wallowing in self-deprecation. But Junsu had come, knocking lightly on his door but not bothering to wait for a response before entering. He came to Yoochun with soft kisses and a tender caress; touches with slender fingers that seemed slightly apologetic, but unable to say them out loud. So Yoochun had accepted that night. And the following night, as well as the next and he would continue to do so because he was falling, falling, falling, and time was running out.
But it hurt. It did, it really did. To watch Junsu slip from the bed-their bed-just as the sun rose, almost like their time together had been nothing. Yoochun didn’t like it, didn’t understand the ridiculous amount of pain that surged through him every morning Junsu made to pull away. Yoochun was a host, had done the leaving most mornings, so these things should have been natural for him. Except Yoochun had never been cold hearted. He wasn’t the type to just take his pleasure, give some of it, and go. No, he wasn’t. He’d always leave with a soft kiss on the cheek or a last warm embrace. But Junsu…
Junsu left like it was nothing, and Yoochun hurt.
--
“Okay, thanks. You can stop laughing now.” Junsu grumbled, pushing the cart along as Yoochun continued to chuckle beside him.
“You’ll forgive me if I find it extremely funny that someone who cooks doesn’t know the difference between cabbage and lettuce.”
“It’s not like I’m some expert,” Junsu said, pausing to pick up some canned goods on the shelf. “I just know enough not to burn the house down.”
“That’s more than most people,” Yoochun mused, guiding their pushcart out of the way of another while Junsu debated between different brands of creamed mushroom. He rather liked standing there, reveling in the domesticity of shopping for groceries together. It made all sorts of red flags go up in his head, but those were things he’d decided to resolutely ignore. He was already in too deep anyway.
“To be honest, I’ve cooked more in the last few weeks than I have my entire life,” Junsu confessed with a sheepish grin. “I’ve never gone to a grocery store to buy groceries either. A housekeeper usually does all of that since most of the time I’m too busy with work.”
Yoochun nodded and hummed noncommittally, making it a point to be the one to push the cart when they moved. “Is that resentment I hear? Do you not like your job?”
Junsu shrugged, leading the way out of the aisle and turning into the next. “I don’t hate it or anything, but I don’t love it either.”
“Well, what about quitting? Finding something that you might actually enjoy?” They were in the aisle for jarred preservatives and Yoochun picked up a jar of peaches, looking at Junsu for confirmation. They’d talked about desserts in the car on the way to the grocery store and Yoochun discovered he rather liked peaches (mostly just the way they reminded him of Junsu’s luscious behind).
“Nope. No can do,” Junsu said with a humorless chuckle. “It’s the family business. I’m sort of obligated to participate.” To Yoochun’s silent question he added, “Excellent choice, Mickey.”
Yoochun ignored the sharp sting of pain at hearing his alias, grip tightening unconsciously around the glass jar. He gave Junsu a forced smile and hurriedly placed the item into their cart and continued down the aisle, walking ahead of Junsu so that the other man wouldn’t see the sour look he was sure was still on his face. Yoochun was seriously beginning to hate that name. For a while now, it was the name he’d gone by and relishing the persona it came with, at times maybe even hiding behind it. Right now though, it only served as another reminder of the wide gulf that sat between Yoochun and the man he’d sorely become captivated with.
He felt his frown deepen and walked all the way to the loaves of bread lined up at the end of the aisle. It’s not like he could say anything about Junsu’s career choices. Yoochun knew all about filial obligations, the suffocation of trying to fit a mold, doing everything and still not enough. Look where that got him.
“You like bread?” Yoochun grunted in surprise. He hadn’t heard Junsu come up next to him. “I’ve never seen someone so eager to get to the bread section. Should we stop by a bakery on the way home?”
“No, it’s fine. We don’t - yeah, I like bread but,” Yoochun struggled to come up with an appropriate excuse, cursing himself in his head for being so obvious. “No need to go to a bakery. This is good.” He grabbed a loaf and forced himself to walk at a slower pace, schooling his expression into something more neutral.
They continued in a relatively comfortable silence with Junsu blissfully unaware of Yoochun’s simmering inner turmoil. It annoyed him that Junsu was so oblivious but Yoochun couldn’t really blame him, not when Yoochun was doing his best to hide it. It didn’t hurt any less either, to walk this close-to be this close-and have no right at all. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that was guaranteed to manifest as another sour expression.
“-listening? Yah, did you hear me?”
“What?” Yoochun startled, disoriented as he once again pulled out of his turbulent thoughts.
Junsu gave him look, a slightly comical mix of exasperation and concern. “Are you okay? You’ve been… odd since we left the house. Is there something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong,” Yoochun answered with a shake of his head. “Just. I don’t know. Maybe it’s being out and into civilization again. It’s been a while since I’ve seen other people.” A pinched look, something like embarrassment and apology crossed Junsu’s face.
“I’m sorry,” Junsu said immediately, halting their cart in the middle of the aisle. “That’s my fault. I didn’t-”
“Wait, that’s not what I meant,” Yoochun interrupted, angling their cart out of the way as he cursed himself inwardly. “I don’t mind not seeing other people. I’ve gotten so used to the house I didn’t even notice. But that’s-that’s not even it, I guess.” He shrugged, going for half-truths because lying didn’t feel right and the whole truth wasn’t something he should burden Junsu with. “I really don’t know. I don’t feel like myself today.”
Junsu scrutinized him for a moment and Yoochun could feel himself burn under that gaze. Was it stupid to want it? To have Junsu see him, watch him, return the looks Yoochun snuck when he was sure Junsu wasn’t looking?
“We’re going home.” Junsu announced, his stare unwavering as he waited for Yoochun to respond.
“Sure.” Yoochun answered, not against the thought of being alone with Junsu again. “Let me just…” Junsu didn’t even hear the rest, already half a dozen steps ahead of him with the cart in tow. Yoochun pursed his lips, darting into an aisle to pick up a canister of coffee and a bag of sugar before hurrying after Junsu. The other man was already in line for the register, piling their items onto the counter.
Junsu was quiet as he came up to help, throwing him sidelong glances that Yoochun figured he deserved. He was glad for the concern, even if it was a little disconcerting. He didn’t even have the heart to argue when Junsu handed over his credit card to the cashier and insisted on paying for everything. Yoochun was a little too happy being Junsu’s current focus. It seemed like he spent every waking moment of the past few weeks with nothing but Junsu on his mind, and even if that’s how it was supposed to be anyway (all part of the job of course), knowing that it was his turn to occupy Junsu’s thoughts was enough to lift Yoochun’s spiraling mood.
As they headed out the exit and towards the car with their bagged groceries in hand, Junsu stopped abruptly, eyes a little wide as he stared at Yoochun.
“What?” Yoochun asked. “What’s wrong?”
Junsu opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, averting his eyes as another thought seemed to pass his face. “I-err-forgot to buy something.”
“Okay then…” Yoochun said slowly, not really understanding why Junsu suddenly looked like a skittish horse about to bolt. “We’ll put these in the car and go back in.”
“NO!” Junsu exclaimed, startling Yoochun with his outburst. “I mean um… no. It’s-it’s fine. You… go and get the car started and I’ll go back and buy it myself.”
“If you say so,” Yoochun murmured, more to himself seeing as Junsu was already rushing to the car and popping the trunk open. He watched curiously as Junsu hurriedly relieved himself of his bags, handing Yoochun the car keys on his way back.
“You can drive if you want. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Yoochun nodded, following Junsu with his eyes as the other man jogged back into the grocery store. Seemed like he wasn’t the only one who was acting weird. Junsu wasn’t himself either. Not that I’m complaining, Yoochun thought to himself as he slid into the plush leather of the driver’s seat of Junsu’s car, humming in pleasure at the luxury. Junsu had a wonderful taste in cars.
Yoochun took the liberty of starting the engine, enjoying the smooth purr of the motor as he turned the key. He fiddled with the radio for a moment, wrinkling his nose at the songs playing, none of them to his liking. Yoochun went for the center console where he knew Junsu kept a number of CDs. He hadn’t had a chance to peruse them earlier on the ride to the grocery store but decided that now wouldn’t be such a bad time to do it.
Peering at the titles, Yoochun wasn’t surprised to find that a number of the selection were some of his favorite albums. He’d discovered early on that despite their difference in temperament, they had quite a lot in common. Yoochun chose a mixed album with various acoustic covers of popular songs from a few years ago and slipped it into the CD player. He was singing along to an Eric Carmen song when Junsu appeared.
Prisoner of illusion, sentence is suspended…
“What’d you forget?” Yoochun asked as Junsu climbed in, eying the small brown paper bag Junsu clutched in one hand.
“Nothing. Just-something.” Junsu replied vaguely, obviously flustered as he dropped the bag onto the car’s floor and pushed it under the seat with his foot. “Don’t worry about it.”
Yoochun raised an eyebrow at Junsu’s odd behavior. “All right.” He said, backing out of the parking space and starting out the parking lot. He flicked the headlights on, observant of the low afternoon sun starting its descent into the horizon. Overhead, streetlights were flickering on one by one, lighting the road and throwing the interior of the car into shadows at equal intervals.
There was a certain appeal, Yoochun thought, in stopping at an intersection and watching the traffic lights glimmer over the dashboard and light up Junsu’s face. The shadows weren’t deep-not yet-and he could still admire Junsu’s features and wonder at the thoughtful expression in his eyes. As the music smoothly transitioned into another song, Yoochun couldn’t help but smile at the coincidence, ignoring the slight ache that came with the realization.
I’ve got all that I need, right here in the passenger seat…
“Something funny?” Junsu asked, saying something for the first time since they started home. Yoochun glanced at him, smile growing at the curious look on Junsu’s face.
“Not funny,” Yoochun answered, forcing his eyes back onto the road. They slid back again the next chance he got. “More like… appropriate.”
“What is?”
Yoochun just smiled.
--
Yoochun was getting impatient. It was already half past midnight and Junsu had yet to appear. While that in itself wasn’t unusual Yoochun couldn’t deny the reason for his impatience.
A week. That was all they had left and Junsu only came to him at night. It’s not that sex was all Yoochun was after; he enjoyed Junsu’s company during the day too. But in the daylight hours, without the cover of darkness and with ‘companionship’ as some thinly veiled excuse, a wall had come between them. There was always something in the way of honesty, words Yoochun was bursting to say but wouldn’t dare to. Junsu’s sincerity also came into question, the way he’d say ‘Mickey’ with a smile that never quite reached his eyes and always maintaining an appropriate distance between their bodies at all times.
Yoochun didn’t question it, didn’t call Junsu out on it because really, what right did he have? He was all too aware of his place even if Junsu had obscured the boundaries with his nightly visits. In the end it was the waiting that got to him. Would Junsu come tonight? Would he let Yoochun touch him, kiss him, have him, even if for only a few hours of the night? Pathetic, that much Yoochun conceded. It was his job to seduce, to incite lust, to have his client wanting, and yet…
Here he was, sprawled on a large bed resting with his back against the headboard waiting for the subject of his affection to knock quietly at the door.
Pathetic.
Then again, he could always go to Junsu. It’s not like they’d made a rule about who initiated, but he was under the impression that it had to be Junsu’s way or… nothing. It was obvious in the way Junsu conducted himself in the mornings, smiling at Yoochun over a late breakfast as if they hadn’t fucked till dawn. Masochistic maybe, but Yoochun was getting used to the ache it left him with.
Yoochun climbed off the bed with a sigh, irritated now though mostly at himself. The tiny part irritated at Junsu simmered; was it too much to ask that Junsu be as anxious as he was, even just a little? For someone who was accustomed to being so self-assured, this constant doubting and wondering were taking a toll on his ego.
Yoochun left his room and headed for only one of two places Junsu could be: his own bedroom or the study. He hoped for the latter and didn’t even want to think of the probable despair he’d sink into if Junsu had decided to retire for the night without seeking him out. He was becoming so predictable.
He walked past Junsu’s bedroom with barely a glance at the closed door, looking straight ahead as if sheer will would have Junsu anywhere else but there. Yoochun talked himself into calmly walking down the second floor, pacing his steps towards the study. He let out a heavy sigh of relief upon seeing the door ajar. Yoochun listened outside for a moment, ears straining for the tell tale sounds of Junsu working at his computer before knocking quietly and peeking ever so subtly inside.
Junsu looked up, surprise etched onto his face. “Oh, you’re still awake?”
Yoochun suppressed a self-deprecating smile. But of course. “I was under the impression you were supposed to be on vacation,” he said, choosing not to answer the obvious question.
“Yes, well. Duty calls.” Junsu shrugged and Yoochun could hear the fatigue in his tone. He stepped into the room, assuming he could since Junsu hadn’t ordered him out.
“It’s pretty late. Are you sure you still understand half of what you’re doing?” he stood beside Junsu’s chair and peered at the computer screen, making a face. “Inventory. Yuck. Aren’t you supposed to get lower level employees to do that? What’s the point of being the boss if you can’t order people around?”
“This is called double checking,” Junsu managed to say with a tired smile. “I’m supposed to make sure all the numbers add up. Or something like that. But it’s taking longer than it should because numbers aren’t my friends.”
“Aren’t your friends?” Yoochun echoed with a chuckle. “That’s code for ‘you suck at math’, right?”
Junsu grimaced. “Don’t say the ‘m’ word!”
“The ‘m’ word?” Yoochun repeated with an arched brow.
“You know, m-a-t-h. The ‘m’ word.”
“All right, no more ‘m-a-t-h’ for you. I can’t believe you call it the ‘m’ word.” Yoochun said, reaching for Junsu’s wrist to tug him out of his chair. Junsu resisted, though obviously reluctant to do so.
“I’ve got to finish this,” he insisted. “If I don’t do this now, it’ll get in the way later.”
Yoochun loomed over him, steadying himself with a hand on the edge of Junsu’s desk as he leaned in to invade Junsu’s personal space. “Are you saying you’d rather sit here and do work you aren’t supposed to do instead of going up stairs and occupying your bed like you should be?”
“No, I wouldn’t rather, but…” he looked pointedly at his computer screen. “The numbers aren’t going to add themselves up.”
Yoochun watched him silently for a moment, seemingly thinking of something before coming to a conclusion. “All right. If I told you I could help you make the numbers add themselves up, would I get a reward?”
“You can do that?” Junsu asked, looking skeptical but Yoochun didn’t miss the way Junsu’s eyes flicked to his mouth at the mention of a reward.
“If I did, do I get a reward?” Yoochun persisted, eyes roaming suggestively over the front of Junsu’s body.
“What kind of reward?” Junsu asked, slightly breathless. Yoochun smirked.
“Well that’s a dumb question. Don’t you already know the answer?” Yoochun couldn’t resist a wink at Junsu before pulling away, turning his attention to the computer. He examined the information on the screen for a long moment before bending slightly to tap at the keys. Yoochun was aware that his ass wasn’t exactly his best asset, but he made sure Junsu noticed what little he did have.
“What are you doing?” Junsu asked, sounding curious but not entirely focused. Yoochun wiggled his ass, just a little.
“The thing with computers,” Yoochun began, reaching for the mouse and moving the arrow to click on a few things. “Is that with a little tinkering, they can do almost everything for you. You’re using the right program but I noticed you’re doing all the numbers manually. What I’m doing is setting up a formula so that you don’t have to. See here?” he pointed to a long column of numbers on the screen. “Once I input the formula, all you have to do is type in the numbers and the total comes out at the bottom. You can even cross reference it by rows.”
Junsu scooted next to him, watching Yoochun’s work with eyes slightly wide and very impressed. “Where’d you learn how to do that?”
Yoochun grinned at him over his shoulder. “Tech-geek friend. Changmin, from the club. Have you met him?”
“Briefly,” Junsu said with a wave of his hand. “Why would he teach you this?”
Yoochun paused, fingers stalling above the keys as he wondered how to answer. “I used to do inventory too,” he answered vaguely, more half truths spilling from his mouth. “An old job that I didn’t like too much, so I quit after a while.” Junsu nodded, accepting his explanation without any further questions. Yoochun sighed inwardly.
“And there you go,” Yoochun said, hitting the ‘enter’ button to apply the new formula. “That should make things easier for you.” He slowly turned to Junsu with an expectant grin.
“Reward now?” Junsu asked a little shyly, equally expectant but trying not to be obvious about it.
“You’ve got work to finish,” Yoochun teased lightly, pushing away from the desk and easing onto Junsu’s lap. He hooked one knee over the armrest to sit more comfortably on Junsu’s thighs. “But I’ll take what I can get for now and collect more later.”
“Mi-” Junsu breathed as Yoochun leaned in.
“Yoochun.” He whispered against Junsu’s lips, any other words lost in the slow kiss Yoochun made sure to savor. Yoochun wasn’t one for outright romanticism, didn’t care to look for something more the things he did, and was content as long it felt good. It intrigued him how Junsu always tasted sweet, like coffee with a tad too much sugar-just the way he liked it. He couldn’t explain it, the taste heady and addictive, and maybe it was just as well. Yoochun shouldn’t get attached to things he had to leave.
“Yoochun-ah,” Junsu groaned, his hand kneading higher on Yoochun’s thigh. Yoochun shivered at the sound of his name, liking the way he felt it on his mouth.
“Hmm?” Yoochun wriggled in Junsu’s lap, sighing at the feel of Junsu’s firming cock against his ass. “Work, yeah?” he reminded as Junsu cupped him through his sweats. Yoochun moaned, spreading his thighs to give Junsu better access.
“Yeah. Work. Uhuh.” He palmed Yoochun’s cock and Yoochun arched into the touch, hard pressed to pull away when Junsu tried to slip into his underwear.
“I’ll wait for you upstairs,” he said, reluctantly extricating himself from Junsu’s lap.
“But-”
“You said so yourself: it’ll get in the way later.”
“It’s getting in the way now,” Junsu growled, a rare scowl marring the usually amiable lines of his face.
“Then hurry.” Yoochun suggested with a playful tug on the loop of strings tied at the top of Junsu’s shorts. The playful tone was a little more difficult, his raging erection protesting against his legs heading for the door.
A/N: Broken into 2 parts because I'm an idiot and LJ refuses to cooperate with idiots at 1 in the morning. 2nd part will be up as soon as my internet connection decides to shoot itself and revive into something more reliable. Smut in the 2nd part, so the wait should be worth it :D
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