Where do they all come from?

[emptychairs]

I've been having a problem. My recent elevated stress level (due to work + school and no social life) has caused me to become rather hate-filled. I have caught my brain seething rage without much instigation pretty regularly

Comments

[nickhornby]

Holy shit, I totally could have written this entry. Completely. I'm having so much rage toward specific people these days, instead of just wide-range wry wit and cynicism, and it's freakin' me out and ragin' me to the max.

I hear you, and I hope that helps at least a smidge. I know it doesn't get the hate out, but...I feel the same way. And worry for the future. Clearly, not for the near future when I'll see you. But pretty much everything after that.

Do you find that your love for those you love has been intensified more because of the relief you feel about them not being people you rage at and that they're usually functioning and glorious human beings? Sometimes, I find that I can feel love a bit more deeply, because of this social relief. But that's just about the only upside to the rage.

Blah blah. I'm clearly not making any sense. Love you, though.

[emptychairs]

Yes! I've been idealizing Milo in some ways because I never see and him and simply because he loves me back, unlike the masses teeming with judgement and abhorrence. You're right - the shitty people of the world make the kind ones all the more angelic by comparison.

I can't wait until you're here and we can bitch about hating while acclaiming love. Or y'know, just get drunk and dance.

[nickhornby]

Check aaaaand check.