fic; shadows and regret (revenge, jack/amanda)

Dec 20, 2011 05:29

Title: Shadows and Regret
Disclaimer: Not mine in any way, shape, or form.
Fandom/Characters: Revenge; Jack/Amanda
Word Count: 431
Requested By: belle_1220


The first time Jack kisses her, she's Emily.

It's late and they're standing in the same spot where he first made his feelings known. Jack crowds her back against the porch railing, his hands cupping her face as he kisses her. Without thinking, her fingers curl around his wrists as she presses closer into his heat, as if heat alone could ever burn away the lies that stand between them.

Amanda knows that no fire burns that hot.

Emily gives into it, into him for just a moment, and then she makes herself step back. She stares down at her shoes, afraid to look at him, afraid to let him see her. "That shouldn't have happened," she says, and she has never meant words more.

"Emily," Jack says, reaching out for her.

Amanda doesn't let him touch her. If he touches her again, she'd be lost.

"Good night, Jack," Emily says. She steps around him and into her house. She locks the door behind her.

Emily tells herself that it wasn't her Jack was kissing. Amanda knows the truth.

*

When she's Amanda again, she's the one to kiss him.

They're on the porch once more, only this time it is day, and Amanda kisses him with the sun shining down on their backs. It's a kiss born of relief and wanting and waiting, and Amanda pours herself into it, body and soul. She kisses Jack, and for an instant, it is everything Amanda wants.

An instant is all it takes for her to realize that Jack isn't kissing her back.

She draws back just enough to say his name, but he takes it further, disentangling himself from her arms.

"I'm sorry," Jack says, and there's regret there, but there's anger too, simmering under the surface. This time he is the one that avoids lookng up, and Amanda knows that this is the end of what might have been.

She crosses her arms over her chest, and she rearranges her face into Emily's mask, the mask that she's worn for so long that it's become her own skin.

Jack raises his hand as if to touch her cheek, but stops before he can. She is grateful for that small kindness.

"I'm sorry," he says again, and then he is gone. Amanda is left alone.

Amanda sinks down onto the porch swing that he'd given her, that had meant so much, and she cries for what she lost without ever having. When all her tears have been shed, it's Emily that's left sitting on Amanda's swing.

It's Emily that was there all along.

holiday fic extravaganza 2011, tv: revenge, fic by me

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