fic: such great heights (rpf, mayer/swift)
Title: Such Great Heights
Disclaimer: Not mine in any way, shape, or form.
Fandom/Characters: RPF, John Mayer/Taylor Swift
Word Count: 623
Requested By: ladycroft1
The first time Taylor hears the song on the radio she thinks it's a joke. She'd listened to his latest album in secret, changing the track names so that no one would be able to tell, because she knew what everyone's reactions would be. From her mom, it would have been, "oh honey, do you think you should?" Selena would have been more direct with an "oh, Taylor, no." But Abigail would have been the one to cut straight to the point and said, "are you out of your ever loving mind?"
That was why Abigail was still Taylor's best friend after all this time. That was why Taylor had kept her listening to herself.
Even if she'd been able to rationalize it to herself (she had loved his music before she'd ever loved the man), Taylor knew what a stupid idea opening herself up to that kind of potential heartbreak was. She's not a masochist, after all.
But the secrecy had all been for nothing, because there hadn't been anything in it for her. Nothing she could pretend was about her or them, and even though Taylor knew she should be grateful for it, a part of her was left unbearably sad. Had she meant that little to him? Had they meant so little?
So when Taylor hears the song, she doesn't believe. She doesn't believe that she'd heard it or what it said or even that it's his voice, and she'd know his voice anywhere. She won't let herself believe, because if she lets herself believe, she'll start to hope and Taylor knows how dangerous a word that is when it comes to this man.
But it gets harder to ignore when her publicist calls telling her that there are a dozen requests for comment and when Selena texts her did you hear it?!?!?!, but still, Taylor's denial perseveres. It's Abigail that she can't ignore, though, and when Abigail calls, Taylor picks up the phone.
"You haven't done anything dumb, right?" are the first words out of Abigail's mouth, and they make Taylor laugh.
"No," Taylor says, shaking her head at absolutely no one, while pacing the length of her living room. "I have not done anything dumb."
"Good," Abigail says. There's a brief pause, like she's considering her next words very carefully. "Do you want to?"
"Yes," Taylor says immediately. "No. I don't know. Yes." She stops pacing and sinks down into an overstuffed chair. "I don't know."
Abigail sighs on the other end of the line, and Taylor can picture her, blowing her hair out of her eyes, a look of exasperated fondness on her face. "He broke your heart."
Taylor nods again. There's a lump in her throat that she can feel all the way down in her chest. She forces the words past it. "I know."
"What if he did it again?"
"I don't know," Taylor says with absolute honesty. It felt like she'd barely lived through it the first time. She doesn't know how she'd manage a second. "I just don't know."
"Okay," Abigail says, and the word is warm with understanding.
Taylor knows that it's the closest she'll ever come to a blessing.
*
It's a Tuesday night when Taylor finally calls him. She's in a hotel room in New York, and it's late, almost one a.m. She thinks this is a call that can only be made at this time of night. She scrolls through contacts until she finds his name and she stares at it for son long that the screen locks, and she mentally curses at herself.
She brings up his name again. She presses the call button.
It rings.
She waits.
He answers.
"Taylor?"
She takes a deep breath. "Hello, John."
Disclaimer: Not mine in any way, shape, or form.
Fandom/Characters: RPF, John Mayer/Taylor Swift
Word Count: 623
Requested By: ladycroft1
The first time Taylor hears the song on the radio she thinks it's a joke. She'd listened to his latest album in secret, changing the track names so that no one would be able to tell, because she knew what everyone's reactions would be. From her mom, it would have been, "oh honey, do you think you should?" Selena would have been more direct with an "oh, Taylor, no." But Abigail would have been the one to cut straight to the point and said, "are you out of your ever loving mind?"
That was why Abigail was still Taylor's best friend after all this time. That was why Taylor had kept her listening to herself.
Even if she'd been able to rationalize it to herself (she had loved his music before she'd ever loved the man), Taylor knew what a stupid idea opening herself up to that kind of potential heartbreak was. She's not a masochist, after all.
But the secrecy had all been for nothing, because there hadn't been anything in it for her. Nothing she could pretend was about her or them, and even though Taylor knew she should be grateful for it, a part of her was left unbearably sad. Had she meant that little to him? Had they meant so little?
So when Taylor hears the song, she doesn't believe. She doesn't believe that she'd heard it or what it said or even that it's his voice, and she'd know his voice anywhere. She won't let herself believe, because if she lets herself believe, she'll start to hope and Taylor knows how dangerous a word that is when it comes to this man.
But it gets harder to ignore when her publicist calls telling her that there are a dozen requests for comment and when Selena texts her did you hear it?!?!?!, but still, Taylor's denial perseveres. It's Abigail that she can't ignore, though, and when Abigail calls, Taylor picks up the phone.
"You haven't done anything dumb, right?" are the first words out of Abigail's mouth, and they make Taylor laugh.
"No," Taylor says, shaking her head at absolutely no one, while pacing the length of her living room. "I have not done anything dumb."
"Good," Abigail says. There's a brief pause, like she's considering her next words very carefully. "Do you want to?"
"Yes," Taylor says immediately. "No. I don't know. Yes." She stops pacing and sinks down into an overstuffed chair. "I don't know."
Abigail sighs on the other end of the line, and Taylor can picture her, blowing her hair out of her eyes, a look of exasperated fondness on her face. "He broke your heart."
Taylor nods again. There's a lump in her throat that she can feel all the way down in her chest. She forces the words past it. "I know."
"What if he did it again?"
"I don't know," Taylor says with absolute honesty. It felt like she'd barely lived through it the first time. She doesn't know how she'd manage a second. "I just don't know."
"Okay," Abigail says, and the word is warm with understanding.
Taylor knows that it's the closest she'll ever come to a blessing.
*
It's a Tuesday night when Taylor finally calls him. She's in a hotel room in New York, and it's late, almost one a.m. She thinks this is a call that can only be made at this time of night. She scrolls through contacts until she finds his name and she stares at it for son long that the screen locks, and she mentally curses at herself.
She brings up his name again. She presses the call button.
It rings.
She waits.
He answers.
"Taylor?"
She takes a deep breath. "Hello, John."