It has been a long time. I randomly for on my Lj today, and read this really long post. I can tell you what the answer is, it is their is never a wrong answer their is just something you are un happy with, and now you know it so your learn from that, and move on to continue the quest for happiness. Life is not math, the answer are not right and wrong, their is satisfaction and their is dissatisfaction. Your incredibly long post tells me you are experiencing the later of the two. So you figure out why you are dissatisfied, and stop doing that in exchange for something more satisfying if you insist on looking at it mechanically.
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Justin
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