Vendettas and More!
Vendettas
On further reflection, and with the support of Matty, I would agree that perhaps Matty and Leathers should be swapped putting Leathers as the most exemplary person in the known history of ASUCD.
Additionally, I'd like to address the fact that when I criticize officials for behaviour I don't approve of, there has frequently been a response of you just have a vendetta against them!! Do not confuse me disapproving of actions with me allegedly not liking someone because of their actions and therefore being too biased to comment on their actions (!?).
But moreover, who do I have a vendetta against? Well if I have a vendetta against anyone, its probably Oliver Cromwell, since he's been dead some 350 years but still comes up three times in my list of shadiest people in ASUCD. (= Otherwise, I'll admit I have kind of a pretend vendetta against Paul Harms. But if I WERE to have a real vendetta against someone, it would probably be Sara Henry. I'm pretty sure she had a vendetta against me anyway, and tried to impeach me twice. Note, however, that I ranked her appx 23rd most shady. This is because in my opinion trying to axe someone because you have a vendetta against them is less abusive than trying to axe people merely because they disagree with you. Anyway, as evidenced by my relatively not-bad ranking of Henry, I do not have a vendetta against her and I'd be interested in hearing arguments as to why I have more reason to have a vendetta against anyone else.
7 of 9 people yesterday voted that they thought I was more associated with Lead than Focus .. you guys forget I was a Focus appointee, hah! (but really I am solidly of no party) Also 10 of 10 of you said you expected more Focus than Lead on the list, whereas I counted 7 Lead and 3 Focus on it. But then again, none of you remember how Lead used to be.
That Which is Not Sanctioned is Forbidden
Someone brought my attention to an Aggie article today about how the Gofers have been pushing definitions of soliciting in the dorms. But I find what they did not as comment worthy as these comments about it:
"They have every right to go out and talk about ASUCD, but they should have gone through the appropriate avenues by talking to the executive office and president," said Kevin Powers, chief of staff for the executive office.
"[GO] never contacted the executive office about ASUCD outreach," said ASUCD Controller Paul Harms.
Fortunately this reporter knew to ask the right questions:
However, Powers also noted that slates are not required by ASUCD bylaws to inform the executive office of their ASUCD outreach activities.
"We're under no obligation to inform LEAD about everything we do," Friedman said
Seriously though, since when do members of Congress have to get George W Bush's permission to do outreach? (Maybe Harms should intern for the white house to give them some ideas)
Endorsements
Now that I can, several people have approached me about endorsing student government candidates. Several people and Steve Ostrowski several times. Anyway, I have found a candidate I would like to endorse:
For the Office of Attorney-General of the ASUC Berkeley, Beetlebeat!!
Here are some choice excerpts from his application:
Educational History
1868: Cal’s charter is signed. Cal was established as a land grant university, which means the feds wanted it to serve as a place where useful education took place, rather than carrying on the Oxford tradition of being “a place for rich people to send their kids for a few years to slack off.”
1868-2000: Whew, lots of stuff happened here at Cal! It’s all pretty unimportant, though.
2000: The arrival of the awesomest person in the world at Cal marks a new era, one of greater awesomeness.
2004: The awesomest person in the world picks up one of them B.S. thingies in Bioengineering from Cal, but due to a tragic typo in Sproul Hall, his effort to escape is stymied. He finds himself a graduate student at the same university, this time in the Industrial Engineering and Operations Research department, chasing after a doctoral degree.
2004-present: Still chasing.
Note: This lesson on the educational history of Cal is not intended to serve as a replacement for Charter Day festivities, because it doesn’t get us any money. The reverse chronological order of most resumes has been ignored in order to provide better narrative flow. If God wanted resumes to be in reverse chronological order, he would have made time move backwards.
Other Relevant Experience
- What is your experience within the ASUC (including but not limited to: student group affiliation, campaign participation, political parties, ASUC offices/staff positions, etc.)?
I’ve been a member of the ASUC for as long as I can remember, and my memory doesn’t go back more than seven years. I’ve also been reporting on the ASUC for as long as I can remember, and my memory doesn’t go back even five years. Last year, I led BEARS-United to its greatest victory ever, winning at least as many positions as every other BEARS-United campaign combined. I think I’m still the signatory, though you’d have to ask the Attorney General… oh, right. Occasionally, I sue the ASUC before breakfast.
- What campus groups or activities are you involved in?
Nowadays, I seem to chill out at the Berkeley College Republicans table a lot, though I’m neither a Republican nor a member of Berkeley College Republicans. I used to write the occasional ASUC-related article for the California Patriot, but I went blind from the reflection off the glossy paper they use and could no longer write effectively, so I have disassociated myself from the Patriot. There’s a slight possibility that I’m a signatory for IEOR social clubs and the local INFORMS chapter.
- Describe your personal experiences that would make you an effective Attorney General or Solicitor General.
My personal experiences themselves are less important than what I’ve learned from them. I’ve learned that ASUC officials suck. Really hard. Because of this, I have little to no respect for ASUC officials. This will make me highly effective, because crushing your pet projects and the dreams of your constituents will mean nothing to me, and you won’t have to worry about me bending the rules to accommodate you. I’m thus extremely well-equipped to be a hard-ass and deny the Senate and Executives the ability to freely ignore their rules. My considerable teaching experience has also prepared me for explaining the most basic concepts of civics to a bunch of power-hungry ASUC officials who never stop to think about the principles that their positions are built on.
- Why do you want to be Attorney General or Solicitor General?
I actually don’t want to be Attorney General or Solicitor General. Your application sucks at making assumptions. Not all of us make ourselves available for office just because we want power. I am applying because I’m extremely generous, and I feel that the Senate deserves the opportunity to buck tradition and hire an officer who actually knows and cares about rules and why they exist. And while I have every intention of carrying out any duties I pick up with the fanaticism of a zealot (or the zealotry of a fanatic, if you prefer), if not hired, I’ll be able to sleep soundly with the knowledge that I did what I could for the ASUC.
A Study in How Much the ASUC Senate Sucks
By Beetlebeat
Preface:
The ASUC Senate sucks at writing and maintaining a sensible set of rules. Rules are often contradictory, unconstitutional, or completely ignored.
It is for this reason that the ASUC Senate is responsible for appointing an Attorney General. The Attorney General should be someone who doesn’t suck at keeping track of whether rules are contradictory, unconstitutional, or completely ignored.
Unfortunately, not only does the ASUC Senate suck at writing and maintaining a sensible set of rules, it also sucks at appointing an Attorney General who can effectively do her job to compensate for that failure.
A cynical person might suspect that the reason the Attorney General fails so spectacularly every year is because the Senate is not particularly interested in having coherent, constitutional, and followed rules. In fact, such things place restrictions on the ability of the Senate to do whatever the hell it wants, and so failing to do their job in this respect may be beneficial to Senators.
I have, in the spirit of generosity, rejected this interpretation of the Senate’s actions, and assumed the failure is merely the consequence of Senators sucking. The Senate has the obligation to treat the use of the funds of the student body with respect and in accordance with the rules that are designed to protect the interests of students. The Senate should not treat its budget and power as a convenient tool to be used however it desires. What Senators “won” in their election was not free access to a pot of money. They “won” a responsibility that they must carry out effectively, and part of that responsibility involves both writing and following rules that protect the interests of the student body. If they are unable or unwilling to carry out this responsibility, they should immediately resign.
Thus, with the assumption that Senators do want to behave in a manner befitting a constitutional organization, I have produced this document on my own time and of my own initiative to inform Senators of some serious flaws in the way their rules are written and followed. This list is far from complete, and is intended to be a highlight (or lowlight) reel.
...
[a few pages of contradictory, unconstitutional, or ignored bylaws]
...
Conclusion
Most of these problems are not new, and have been hanging around for years, while Senate after Senate fails to fix them. The only reasonable conclusions are either:
- The Senate sucks at its job, or
- The Senate doesn’t give a crap about its responsibilities.
Here’s the Senate’s opportunity to boost its reputation a bit. Perhaps if it starts acting more professional in the role it has been given, rather than considering the Senate a fun place to hang out and feel important (and advertise for friends who want apartments), it might get the respect in the campus community it needs to actually convince a majority of students to bother to vote and get involved.
###
So there you have it. However I believe the ASUC Senate has already chosen someone else, with one official commenting that after reading Beetle's application that he was "disappointed with the level of respect." lol.
Ah, Paragraph 3 of "Relevant Experience" reminds me so much of myself...
Trivia of the Day!
Which famous person once said "I rationalized the "final solution" because the government had to keep on functioning."?