LJ Idol - Week 17 - Open Topic - And the Winner Is...
The Not Too Distant Future: Darren gripped the edge of his top-hat to brace it against the warm breeze as he stepped out of the zeppelin. It was early evening and the breeze seemed to be the perfect temperature. The air felt electric with excitement. Darren and the other passengers from the airship made their way to waiting horse drawn carriages which would take them the remaining distance to their destination: clauderainsrm's place for the LJ Idol Season 5 Season Finale Ball!
You know Darren. He's on your friends list. He always reads your entries. He just never comments. But he always votes for you. Maybe he'll do LJ Idol next season. Maybe not.
The carriage rolled past a series of twelve foot tall statues of previous LJ Idol winners in heroic poses and finally came to a stop in front of the Clauderainsrm estate. Darren and his fellow passengers stepped out and beheld the magnificant home of LJ Idol administrator Clauderainsrm: the entryway was in the classic style, sweeping steps leading up to a portico with white marble columns. Wings of the elegant ediface stretched in both directions, while on top a large golden rotunda and majestic spires jutted into the twilight sky. In front of Clauderainsrm's humble abode stretched gardens and fountains (dominated by the statues of previous LJ Idol winners) on either side of the cobblestoned road the carriages were coming down.
"First!" shouted one of one of Darren's carriagemates, intrepia, joyously, upon reaching the steps.
"Hahaha, whatever, more like you're on the List of Shame!" laughed a nearby idolist who was already present.
"Hahahah-- oh" Intrepia's mirth was cut short when she realized it wasn't a joke -- the other idolist was pointing to a large "List of Shame" pinned to the wall listing all those who hadn't shown up yet. Nearby another idolist was taking down the list onto a spreadsheet on a clipboard they were holding.
Other idolists were arriving in other ways. With a loud BZAP and puff of smoke a delorean appeared and skidded down the drive, from which blueashke and supremegoddess1 emerged. lifeinamarble had just landed by parachute and was taking off his goggles and replacing them with a monocle. As Lordrexfear made his way to the front door some papparazi jumped out of the shrubbery and snapped several pictures of him and hollered something about a website several times before security could subdue them and escort them away.
Darren and the other arrivees made their way up the red carpet into the building, through the elegant foyer and into the grand ballroom. It was already filled with idolists, idolists' friends, and idolists' made-up voting friends, all in their best victorian finery. Top hats and evening coats filled the room, flowing gowns, corsettes and bustles. Overhead hung dazzling chandaliers, while the walls and furniture were bedecked in a fine green.
Everyone mingled and met the people they'd been hearing so much about for the past several months. There was gossip (it turns out one of the finalists was actually a robot, and many people weren't sure it was fair for a robot to win) and speculation (the season winner would be announced later in the night) and reminiscing about events of the last several months. Like the time Gary (as Clauderainsrm is sometimes known to go by, as if thats his real name or something) declared January the "Month of Doom" and had eliminated 90% of the idolists by the end, only to declare February the "Month of Regret" and bring nearly all of them back. Then there was the gradual reduction of the writing submission week from five days to, in "June, the Month of Ultra-Doom" 24 hours (with six hour voting periods).
Darren had just bumped into a gorgeous young lady with jet black hair, a black corsette and dress, cute pointy eyebrows, and sparkling green eyes, and was about to strike up a conversation with her when a murmur and hush filled the room. "Kithan has just announced Gary is about to make his appearance!" someone leaned over and whispered. All eyes turned to the stage at one end of the room.
A figure walked out on the stage, and there was a shocked gasp from the entire audience as they realized LJ Idol's Gary, AKA clauderainsrm is, in fact, American Idol host Ryan Seacrest!!
Gary / Seacrest (henceforth: Garycrest) said a few words, and introduced the singer who would be performing: recent American Idol champion Mark in Spades (aka lifeinamarble) and continued. Darren cast about for the stunning young lady he had seen earlier but she was no longer to be found nearby.
The party went on into the night. In addition to the ballroom there was activity in a number of other rooms throughout Garycrest's house. There were lofty balconies, access to pleasant gardens, couches and tables for sitting and talking. People consumed delicious platters that had apparently been arranged by ewok_626, and everyone's favourite beverages were available to embibe upon.
A few times Darren caught that one girl's eye again, but was unsuccessful in finagling to talk to her.
There were some interesting characters present, as one would expect at a gathering of LJ Idolists. In addition to the robot finalist, there was a moose with a bow tie, an orange tabby kitten, technophile it turns out is actually an anime character in real life, but, most shocking of all, was when George W Bush showed up.
"What? What is he! doing here?!" Darren heard people exclaim. The question and its answer echoed across the room like wildfire:
"He's been in the competition all along!"
"What? Say it isn't so! What's his lj name?"
"RM!"
Shock.
Darren was talking to a fellow about bees when he saw The Girl head out to the balcony. He saw his opportunity to potentially go talk to her, in a romantic location even, but this damn guy was rambling on about bees! Darren felt antsy.
Fortunately, a very attractive young lady with a peacock feather in her blonde curly hair happened by at that moment and thoroughly distracted the fellow. As the guy greeted the young lady with "Oh hey princesslips," Darren excused himself and scampered to the balcony.
Unfortunately all he found out there was a serious looking gentleman answering his phone -- "Yes Sarah? ...wait you want to do what?!"
Darren returned indoors sadly.
Darren spied Her again while he was talking to a group of people about their favourite topics, but lost sight of Her in the crowd.
"I really liked how creative everyone got on the Bacon topic" a gentleman in a fedora was saying.
"My favourite was the Impersonate Another Idolist topic" said a girl dressed like a librarian. Darren wasn't really paying attention to the discussion anymore. Meeting That Girl had become an obsession. He surrepticiously scanned the room.
"I think Gary really went too far with the Why Gary is Awesome topic, and so does baxaphobia!" Imafarmgirl was saying.
"And by "Week 47: I Can't Believe This Is Still Going On!" he clearly had gone mad ... imafarmgirl!" added in Baxaphobia.
Darren thought he saw The Girl over by the steam powered water cooler. He tried to get a glimpse through the crowd.
"And the topic of Something about Bagles, the Space Station, Your First Sexual Encounter, Sulfites, & Apis mellifera scutellata -- I think Garycrest must surely have been completely insane at that point! remarked one of the characters from Lost (apparently they'd all been following the whole season of LJ Idol). "Though actually we got some crucial plot ideas for our show from the entries that week!"
"And remember, that was only Week 18!!" someone else pointed out.
In a side conversation an adorable blonde girl with bangs was relating every topic mentioned to sex. It was making Darren feel quite flustered.
Kithan took the stage again and tapped a glass with her bionic hand.
"Ladies and gentlemen! And animals, fictional anthropomorphic beings, and... androids!" (nodding at the robot finalist) "It is time for the moment you are waiting for, the announcement of the Season 5 LJ Idol!!"
Gary / Ryan Seacrest took the stage. "What an amazing story! To think that this Idolist was actually eliminated in Week 17, and then brought back in during the Month of Regret, only to make their way to the very top! Please give it up for--" but Darren didn't hear the rest. He had spotted The Girl, making her way down a side hall.
Where would she be going? Maybe she was sick and would appreciate someone looking after her? She caught his eye and flashed him a devilish grin. Darren nearly had a heart attack. She turned and headed down the hallway. Darren scrambled through the cheering crowd after her.
He caught up with her just outside the door to Gary's video library. Her green eyes burned with a fiery intensity. She winked coyly and opened the door, pulling him in with her. For a second Darren wondered if he'd be able to blog about this.
Shelves and shelves were filled with every episode of Survivor, Lost, The Office, 30 Rock, and the Amazing Race. Even episodes which had never been aired. But Darren's perception of the world consisted of nothing other than the gorgeous face in front of him. Her eyes burned so intently, her smile glowed so cheerfully.
Darren had his back to the cold wall, with The Girl pressed against him. She leaned in for a kiss and the whole world but her eyes disappeared to Darren.
But then abruptly she pulled back. She stood up, holding only three fingers against Darren's chest to keep him against the wall.
"Ahahahahaha foolish mortal! ...its too easy! She laughed. How peculiar.
"You think you are the pursuer, that I am your unwary quarry! That you are going to work whatever charms you have upon me and I'll actually be impressed, hah!" This was turning out.. quite rude, to say the least, thought Darren.
The girl smiled wider, revealing two long fangs. She licked her lips, keeping Darren transfixed in her gaze. She savoured the thrill of a totally successful entrapment for a moment. She had managed to lure her prey right to where she wanted him, at a moment when no one would notice, and avoided being seen with him at any point. Perfect. What a sucker this lad had been. She lunged for the kill.
Darren held her back with three fingers gently pressed against her sternum. 'How peculiar,' she though, he shouldn't be able to do that. Slowly the look of alarm and shock on Darren's face gave way to a sly grin. People sometimes had the most irrational response to their imminent and utterly unavoidable demise.
"You're a vampire," started Darren, his voice suprisingly steady, "that, of course, is obvious by now. Your penchent for haughty monologues when in a perceived position of power is such a silly weakness."
The girl's confusion gave way to alarm when she realized she herself was unable to move. Darren continued:
"You don't have a word for what I am, because my kind don't fail. And we eat vampires for breakfast."
He meant it quite literally, and without wasting another moment on small talk he vaporized the vampire into a cloud of supernatural vapours and devoured them.
