My Only Exception 20/20
A girl with golden hair sat in her room one late night in December.
Snow was lightly falling outside her window, covering the ground with a thin layer of white dust. In her hands laid a Christmas card. It was navy blue and bordered with snowflakes. The picture depicted a beautiful woman with long black hair holding a baby girl. The infant was smiling; her blonde hair was now down to her shoulders, and her tiny hand was latched onto the woman’s arm. She was dressed in a red jumper and she had a beautiful clip pulling back her blonde curly bangs. They sat on the stairs leading up to their home and the woman had her lips pressed against the child’s head.
A tear slid down the girl’s face and she made no effort to wipe it away. The young girl in the photograph was her daughter, her own flesh and blood. Her hazel eyes gazed out the window and focused on the snow flakes dancing to the ground, a piercing white against the dark blackened sky.
She was happy, she really was. She was living in a home where she was wanted. She had the most amazing guardians a girl could ask for. Most importantly, she was in love with a small brunette with a heart of gold, a girl who she never in a million years would have imagined would have reciprocated her feelings. It shouldn’t have been this way. She was a bitch to the most important people in her life. She lied and cheated on her boyfriend. She gave away her child to her girlfriend’s mother. Her parents kicked her out for not only being pregnant but for being gay. She should have been miserable; but she wasn’t, not really.
When she went to school and saw her friends protecting her, her heart warmed. When she sang in Glee club she felt as if she truly belonged and was with people who actually cared about her. When she held her girlfriend’s hand, she felt invigorated with happiness. Most of the time, she was on cloud nine.
But at this moment, as she stared into the photograph of her daughter and her mother, Quinn Fabray was anything but happy. She felt her heart twinge at the sight of the blonde angel. For a moment, she imagined raising that baby. She pictured herself on those stairs holding that baby in her arms as she pressed her lips into her head. She envisioned herself feeding her a bottle when she cried and changing her diaper. She imagined singing her to sleep and rocking her in her arms as the infant stared lovingly up at her mother.
It would never happen, but that didn’t mean she didn’t dream of what could have been, what could have happened had she kept the baby girl. Would her daughter ever know how much she truly loved her? This was a question that haunted her ever since she decided to give away her baby girl.
She raised her hand to her tearstained cheek and wiped away the remaining droplets of water. After a deep breath, she kissed the photograph and put it underneath her pillow.
“Goodnight, baby,” she whispered into the silent night, slowly feeling herself drift into what would become another rough night of sleep.
***
The following day, when she was certain the house was empty, Quinn snuck into the sun room of the Berry residence. Although she was given permission to use the instrument, the blonde always felt better playing knowing she was alone. She sat gently on the bench and carefully pulled the cover off of the glistening keys. Her hand traced over each key as she let out a sigh. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and the Berry’s were currently doing some last minute food shopping and Quinn had insisted that she stay home in order to make sure that the dinner on the stove did not burn. It was a lame excuse, but Rachel had a feeling that Quinn wanted to be alone. The brunette couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like for Quinn, what if must have felt like to know that your daughter was going to spend her first Christmas without her real mother, but rather with a mother more adequate to raise her than her birth mother, the one who gave her up. With this being said, Rachel simply nodded when Quinn voiced her excuse and smiled when she saw the hint of sadness in her girlfriend’s hazel eyes.
Her fingers began their motions, dancing gracefully over each key as the melody sang throughout the empty household. Quinn’s eyes closed and she felt her shoulders release the tension she had been feeling since she had received the Christmas card. The keys rose and fell easily beneath the versatile digits and her heart beat evenly as the notes rang in her ears. She was in control and her world was no longer crashing down on her, suffocating her. She could breath and it is miraculous the things a little air can do for a human being.
As she continued her catharsis, she didn’t notice the front door open or the cool winter breeze whiz into the household. All she heard was the piano. Somehow her fingers brought life to a seemingly inanimate object and made it sing a haunting melody that was able to express all of her happiness, her grief, and her desires in a simple strand of notes that she rearranged to form a heartbreaking piece.
The final notes played and the house remained still, save for her shallow breathing. Quinn’s eyes remained clasped shut, the image of a blonde infant forever inscribed on her eyelids. As she opened her eyes, a lone tear escaped its hazel chamber and rolled down her porcelain cheek. Her foot remained on the pedal and her final notes still lingered in the air. Suddenly a gentle hand caressed her shoulder and she melted at the touch as she released the pedal creating a deafening silence. The smell of lavender overwhelmed her and she willed herself to keep it together.
In the distance she heard the light patter of Rachel’s fathers’ feet against the tiled floor and their hushed chatter, but all she could really focus on was that hand on her shoulder, how that thumb traced circles into her tense skin. Somehow, without Quinn even having to say anything, the girl quietly sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around the now shaking blonde. Suddenly, she stopped holding back and let herself fall knowing that the brunette was there to catch her.
“Do you think she knows?” she choked out as she clung onto the smaller girl.
Rachel pulled back and brought Quinn’s face into her hands. Her brown eyes pierced Quinn’s hazels ones with a stare filled with love and understanding. Somehow she knew; Rachel always knew.
“She will always know,” she whispered back as she kissed Quinn softly on the lips.
***
Christmas was a time filled with joy, hope, and love. For once in her life, Quinn Fabray actually felt these emotions on this holiday. In the past, Christmas was a day where her mother dressed her up in an uncomfortable gown, her father wore his best suit, and the house became flooded with people she had never met in her life. Her older sister would put on her best smile while her father entertained the guests with his dry humor and terrible jokes. A huge six foot tall tree would inhabit their living room, decorated by professionals with strictly white and silver lights, none of the ornaments bearing any significance.
The entire night her mother would run frantically about the house making sure all was perfect, the meal, the guests, and the house. While all of this went on, a young Quinn would sit quietly in the living room with her favorite book and watch the people in her house. She observed how stiff they all seemed as they walked about her home.
When the time would come for dinner, her father would scoop her into his arms and kiss her on the cheek and he’d place her into her chair next to her sister who would flash a soft smile at her and her heart swelled for the first time that night. The table was set with about two dozen plates and expensive silverware. Her father bowed his head and the room became silent as he began his prayer. Quinn always used to peak and looked at the people as they prayed.
Once the night was done, the family of four would be exhausted from putting on the show they had spent a week preparing for. Quinn would run to her room, rip her dress off and put on a pair of pajamas. Her sister would run a bath while their parents poured themselves some alcohol, drowning themselves in the liquor while their daughters took care of themselves. After her bath, Carrie, her older sister, would come into her room and lift the little blonde into her arms. The younger girl burrowed herself into the elder’s shoulder as she was carried into her sister’s room. Each year they slept together and Quinn reveled in the warmth she felt from her sister’s body; but when she left for college, when she was only ten, the warmth left and all she received on Christmas Eve was a grunt from her drunken father and a shrug from her indifferent mother.
Christmas at the Berry’s could not have been any different. They spent the entire day decorating their tiny Christmas tree with ornaments the family had purchased from their travels or had been made by a young Rachel Berry. They laughed as Christmas music played lightly in the background and Rachel’s chatter was enough to make Quinn more than content. It hadn’t stopped snowing and there was about half a foot of snow covering their front yard. Rachel didn’t have any relatives, aside from Shelby, in the area so it was just the four of them and the two couldn’t have been happier.
Rachel had insisted on making an extensive meal for Quinn’s first Berry Christmas and spent the week preparing for the dinner. Quinn had spent her week getting her gift ready for her girlfriend. Her gift had to be absolutely perfect. Kurt and Mercedes had taken her to the mall a couple days before and they helped her pick out her present. Quinn was nervous, but confident at the same time. Even though she had told Rachel she didn’t need a present, Rachel was adamant about giving Quinn a gift that she would never forget.
“Excuse me everyone, excuse me! May I have your attention please?”
Quinn and Rachel’s fathers smiled as they brought their attention to the small brunette at the piano. The blonde smiled as Rachel cleared her throat. It was Christmas Eve and snow had been falling from the sky since early morning. The house was filled with the delicious aroma of Rachel’s meal, which had been scrumptious. The four sat at the table in the dining room with empty plates and full stomachs.
“I know it is customary to give gifts on Christmas morning, but I simply couldn’t wait to give mine to Quinn,”
Before Quinn could protest, Rachel continued on, ignoring her cries of disapproval.
“Daddy, if you wouldn’t mind accompanying me on our piano,” she said excitedly as she pranced over to the instrument.
The shorter man sat down at the piano and inhaled deeply.
“Ready, sweetheart?”
The brunette nodded and stared at the blonde with a look of pure adoration. Then the music began.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You
Quinn beamed at her girlfriend as she danced over to her and offered her a hand. She was pulled out of her chair and felt the music carry her to Rachel. As gracefully as she could, she twirled the tiny diva around her finger and laughed as the girl squealed with delight. Leroy laughed heartily and got up to sing along with his husband. The house was filled with the music and Quinn was energized by the love she had never felt in her old home.
Unfortunately, the song came to an end and with it Rachel fell into Quinn’s arms as they plopped down onto the couch.
“Merry Christmas, Quinn,” she whispered as she went to kiss the girl’s lips.
Quinn smiled as she felt Rachel’s warm lips on her own. Then she remembered her own gift and released the girl carefully.
“Let me go get my gift!”
With that she bounded up the stairs and into her room. She whizzed past her bed over to her dresser and pulled out the neatly wrapped box. Suddenly she became nervous. Would Rachel like it? She was quickly forced to push that thought aside as she heard Rachel’s infectious laughter travel up the stairs. Quickly, she went back downstairs and into the living room to find the brunette in Leroy’s arms as Michael tickled her viciously.
“Daddy stop you’re embarrassing me in front of Quinn!” she shrieked as her face scrunched up.
The two finally surrendered and faced the nervous blonde. She cleared her throat and walked over to Rachel.
“Well, I didn’t choose a fun jazzy song to serenade you with, but I hope this gift brings you as much happiness as you have brought me. I have never been so happy before, Rachel and it is because of you and your fathers. My family was cold and distant; here I feel loved, truly and unconditionally loved. I love you Rachel, and I promise to keep loving you as long as you will let me. I can only hope this gift is enough for you.”
Rachel was blushing and she carefully took the small box from Quinn’s shaking hand. She removed the paper meticulously to reveal a black box. The instant she opened the container, her breath caught in her throat. Lying inside the velvet box was a necklace, a silver chain with a single eighth note. Her eyes welled with tears. It was beautiful.
“I-,” she stuttered, looking up at Quinn.
“Look on the back,” she whispered.
Rachel turned over the pendant to reveal a scripted Q in a heart.
“Do you like it?” the blonde asked nervously as she avoided the now watery chocolate eyes.
“This is amazing, Quinn. I-I can’t thank you enough,” she breathed as she pulled Quinn close to her and squeezed her tightly.
Quinn let out a sigh of relief and relished in her girlfriend’s warmth. The rest of the night was spent playing charades along with some holiday karaoke as opposed to Quinn’s past holidays filled with bland business conversation and alcohol. She felt warm, fuzzy, corny, and loved all at once as she sipped her hot chocolate and watched Rachel act out the word lemon quite animatedly.
***
A woman peered through the window of a small household in Lima, Ohio. The snow was coming down hard and the wind chilled her to the bone. She caught a glimpse of blonde hair and she moved so she could better see the girl. Through the foggy glass, the woman saw a tiny brunette curled up against a slender blonde, their bodies melding together into the brown couch. Two men laughed together as they danced around the living room; the laughter echoed in the woman’s heart.
Finally, she got up the courage to ring the doorbell, even though she knew it wasn’t her place to intrude on the family’s holiday festivities. She waited patiently at the door which was wrapped in a gold starred red and green wrapping paper. A puff of smoke released from her mouth as she exhaled into the cold air.
The door flung open and the woman was greeted by a tiny, hyper, brunette.
“Hello! Merry-,” she started but then was suddenly silenced by the presence in front of her.
Her face hardened and her body stiffened.
“Good evening, Mrs. Fabray,” she spoke in a hushed tone, “What can do for you?”
The woman took a deep breath.
“Is Quinn there?” she asked, although she knew the answer already.
Rachel peered inside, her face softening at the sight of her girlfriend; it quickly returned back to its hard state.
“Yes. What do you want?”
“How is she?”
Rachel put her hands on her hips.
“She is doing extremely well considering everything that has happened to her. Look, can I be frank?”
The woman nodded.
“I don’t like you. You hurt Quinn and people who hurt Quinn are on my naughty list.”
Mrs. Fabray nodded, fully expecting the brunette to be hostile.
“Listen, I know how much I have hurt my daughter. She is remarkable and I have let my faith and my ignorance get the better of me and now I have lost the only light in my life. Rachel, do you think I could speak to her for just a moment, please?”
Rachel contemplated this request.
“Give me a minute,” she whispered and left the door open.
Within a few moments, a blonde beauty stood at the door with her mouth wide open.
“Mom?” she breathed as she gaped at her mother.
The woman gave her a weak smile.
“Hi, Quinn,” Mrs. Fabray said softly.
“What-what are you doing here?”
“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing.”
Quinn scoffed.
“I’m doing fine, Mom. What’s the real reason you’re here?”
Mrs. Fabray sighed and rubbed her hands together.
“I made a mistake, Quinn, many actually. I do not expect you to forgive me, but just let me explain myself, alright? Let me try to apologize.”
The blonde nodded.
“Your father was a monster. Every moment in that house I feared that man more than death itself. Do you know why? He knows things about everyone. People fear him because of the damage he could do if they were to get on his bad side. When I realized that you had become pregnant, I panicked. What was I to do? Tell your father? I was selfish and hid my knowledge from him to protect myself; when you finally told him, I played the part of the innocent bystander. It killed me seeing you leave, but I was weak and lacked the courage to stand up to your father.
“It finally dawned on me that I wasn’t powerless. When I found out about the affair, I seized the opportunity to win you back and finally stand up for myself, for us. I was so set on us being a family that I forgot about how my coming back would affect you. My desire to be a normal happy family clouded my judgment and that is why I left after you told me that you are gay. It scared me, Quinn; but I soon realized how stupid I was being. I was letting fear control my life. I know it’s too late, but I needed you to know why I did what I did. I’m so sorry, Quinn, for everything.”
Quinn stood frozen in the doorway, the cold air rushing into the warm house, staring at her mother, the woman who had abandoned her twice. What made this apology different than the last one? She looked at her mother, really looked at her, and saw her for the first time. Her matching hazel eyes were glazed over with tears and she was breathing heavily. Then she saw it, deep within those eyes: fear, a fear she too remembered feeling when she first realized how she felt for Rachel. She remembered pushing Rachel away because she was afraid of what people would think, what her mother would think, what God would think. She had hurt Rachel because she was afraid of what would happen if they didn’t hate each other. She was afraid of love; but then, after all of the hate and bullying, Rachel had forgiven her. The girl had forgiven her for the bullying and slushying, and for pushing her away when all Quinn had really wanted was to pull her closer. It was the same fear that had inhabited her mother a few months ago in the dimly lit hospital room on the eve of her daughter’s birth. Now it was her turn to show the same forgiveness Rachel had shown to her not too long ago in the hallway of McKinley High.
She slowly took a step towards her mother and gazed deeply into her eyes. Then she wrapped her arms around the woman who began to shake with joy.
“I forgive you,” she breathed.
Her mother’s heart stopped momentarily; then she realized this was real, this was happening. Her daughter had finally forgiven her. She pulled out of the embrace and caressed Quinn’s cheek.
“I love you, Quinnie,” she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“I love you too, Mom.”
They hugged once more before Quinn took the woman’s coat and brought her inside to introduce her to Rachel Berry, the love of her life, the woman who made her want to be a better person, the woman who made her heart stop whenever she saw that sparkle in her chocolate brown eyes, the woman who was her only exception.
Snow was lightly falling outside her window, covering the ground with a thin layer of white dust. In her hands laid a Christmas card. It was navy blue and bordered with snowflakes. The picture depicted a beautiful woman with long black hair holding a baby girl. The infant was smiling; her blonde hair was now down to her shoulders, and her tiny hand was latched onto the woman’s arm. She was dressed in a red jumper and she had a beautiful clip pulling back her blonde curly bangs. They sat on the stairs leading up to their home and the woman had her lips pressed against the child’s head.
A tear slid down the girl’s face and she made no effort to wipe it away. The young girl in the photograph was her daughter, her own flesh and blood. Her hazel eyes gazed out the window and focused on the snow flakes dancing to the ground, a piercing white against the dark blackened sky.
She was happy, she really was. She was living in a home where she was wanted. She had the most amazing guardians a girl could ask for. Most importantly, she was in love with a small brunette with a heart of gold, a girl who she never in a million years would have imagined would have reciprocated her feelings. It shouldn’t have been this way. She was a bitch to the most important people in her life. She lied and cheated on her boyfriend. She gave away her child to her girlfriend’s mother. Her parents kicked her out for not only being pregnant but for being gay. She should have been miserable; but she wasn’t, not really.
When she went to school and saw her friends protecting her, her heart warmed. When she sang in Glee club she felt as if she truly belonged and was with people who actually cared about her. When she held her girlfriend’s hand, she felt invigorated with happiness. Most of the time, she was on cloud nine.
But at this moment, as she stared into the photograph of her daughter and her mother, Quinn Fabray was anything but happy. She felt her heart twinge at the sight of the blonde angel. For a moment, she imagined raising that baby. She pictured herself on those stairs holding that baby in her arms as she pressed her lips into her head. She envisioned herself feeding her a bottle when she cried and changing her diaper. She imagined singing her to sleep and rocking her in her arms as the infant stared lovingly up at her mother.
It would never happen, but that didn’t mean she didn’t dream of what could have been, what could have happened had she kept the baby girl. Would her daughter ever know how much she truly loved her? This was a question that haunted her ever since she decided to give away her baby girl.
She raised her hand to her tearstained cheek and wiped away the remaining droplets of water. After a deep breath, she kissed the photograph and put it underneath her pillow.
“Goodnight, baby,” she whispered into the silent night, slowly feeling herself drift into what would become another rough night of sleep.
***
The following day, when she was certain the house was empty, Quinn snuck into the sun room of the Berry residence. Although she was given permission to use the instrument, the blonde always felt better playing knowing she was alone. She sat gently on the bench and carefully pulled the cover off of the glistening keys. Her hand traced over each key as she let out a sigh. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and the Berry’s were currently doing some last minute food shopping and Quinn had insisted that she stay home in order to make sure that the dinner on the stove did not burn. It was a lame excuse, but Rachel had a feeling that Quinn wanted to be alone. The brunette couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like for Quinn, what if must have felt like to know that your daughter was going to spend her first Christmas without her real mother, but rather with a mother more adequate to raise her than her birth mother, the one who gave her up. With this being said, Rachel simply nodded when Quinn voiced her excuse and smiled when she saw the hint of sadness in her girlfriend’s hazel eyes.
Her fingers began their motions, dancing gracefully over each key as the melody sang throughout the empty household. Quinn’s eyes closed and she felt her shoulders release the tension she had been feeling since she had received the Christmas card. The keys rose and fell easily beneath the versatile digits and her heart beat evenly as the notes rang in her ears. She was in control and her world was no longer crashing down on her, suffocating her. She could breath and it is miraculous the things a little air can do for a human being.
As she continued her catharsis, she didn’t notice the front door open or the cool winter breeze whiz into the household. All she heard was the piano. Somehow her fingers brought life to a seemingly inanimate object and made it sing a haunting melody that was able to express all of her happiness, her grief, and her desires in a simple strand of notes that she rearranged to form a heartbreaking piece.
The final notes played and the house remained still, save for her shallow breathing. Quinn’s eyes remained clasped shut, the image of a blonde infant forever inscribed on her eyelids. As she opened her eyes, a lone tear escaped its hazel chamber and rolled down her porcelain cheek. Her foot remained on the pedal and her final notes still lingered in the air. Suddenly a gentle hand caressed her shoulder and she melted at the touch as she released the pedal creating a deafening silence. The smell of lavender overwhelmed her and she willed herself to keep it together.
In the distance she heard the light patter of Rachel’s fathers’ feet against the tiled floor and their hushed chatter, but all she could really focus on was that hand on her shoulder, how that thumb traced circles into her tense skin. Somehow, without Quinn even having to say anything, the girl quietly sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around the now shaking blonde. Suddenly, she stopped holding back and let herself fall knowing that the brunette was there to catch her.
“Do you think she knows?” she choked out as she clung onto the smaller girl.
Rachel pulled back and brought Quinn’s face into her hands. Her brown eyes pierced Quinn’s hazels ones with a stare filled with love and understanding. Somehow she knew; Rachel always knew.
“She will always know,” she whispered back as she kissed Quinn softly on the lips.
***
Christmas was a time filled with joy, hope, and love. For once in her life, Quinn Fabray actually felt these emotions on this holiday. In the past, Christmas was a day where her mother dressed her up in an uncomfortable gown, her father wore his best suit, and the house became flooded with people she had never met in her life. Her older sister would put on her best smile while her father entertained the guests with his dry humor and terrible jokes. A huge six foot tall tree would inhabit their living room, decorated by professionals with strictly white and silver lights, none of the ornaments bearing any significance.
The entire night her mother would run frantically about the house making sure all was perfect, the meal, the guests, and the house. While all of this went on, a young Quinn would sit quietly in the living room with her favorite book and watch the people in her house. She observed how stiff they all seemed as they walked about her home.
When the time would come for dinner, her father would scoop her into his arms and kiss her on the cheek and he’d place her into her chair next to her sister who would flash a soft smile at her and her heart swelled for the first time that night. The table was set with about two dozen plates and expensive silverware. Her father bowed his head and the room became silent as he began his prayer. Quinn always used to peak and looked at the people as they prayed.
Once the night was done, the family of four would be exhausted from putting on the show they had spent a week preparing for. Quinn would run to her room, rip her dress off and put on a pair of pajamas. Her sister would run a bath while their parents poured themselves some alcohol, drowning themselves in the liquor while their daughters took care of themselves. After her bath, Carrie, her older sister, would come into her room and lift the little blonde into her arms. The younger girl burrowed herself into the elder’s shoulder as she was carried into her sister’s room. Each year they slept together and Quinn reveled in the warmth she felt from her sister’s body; but when she left for college, when she was only ten, the warmth left and all she received on Christmas Eve was a grunt from her drunken father and a shrug from her indifferent mother.
Christmas at the Berry’s could not have been any different. They spent the entire day decorating their tiny Christmas tree with ornaments the family had purchased from their travels or had been made by a young Rachel Berry. They laughed as Christmas music played lightly in the background and Rachel’s chatter was enough to make Quinn more than content. It hadn’t stopped snowing and there was about half a foot of snow covering their front yard. Rachel didn’t have any relatives, aside from Shelby, in the area so it was just the four of them and the two couldn’t have been happier.
Rachel had insisted on making an extensive meal for Quinn’s first Berry Christmas and spent the week preparing for the dinner. Quinn had spent her week getting her gift ready for her girlfriend. Her gift had to be absolutely perfect. Kurt and Mercedes had taken her to the mall a couple days before and they helped her pick out her present. Quinn was nervous, but confident at the same time. Even though she had told Rachel she didn’t need a present, Rachel was adamant about giving Quinn a gift that she would never forget.
“Excuse me everyone, excuse me! May I have your attention please?”
Quinn and Rachel’s fathers smiled as they brought their attention to the small brunette at the piano. The blonde smiled as Rachel cleared her throat. It was Christmas Eve and snow had been falling from the sky since early morning. The house was filled with the delicious aroma of Rachel’s meal, which had been scrumptious. The four sat at the table in the dining room with empty plates and full stomachs.
“I know it is customary to give gifts on Christmas morning, but I simply couldn’t wait to give mine to Quinn,”
Before Quinn could protest, Rachel continued on, ignoring her cries of disapproval.
“Daddy, if you wouldn’t mind accompanying me on our piano,” she said excitedly as she pranced over to the instrument.
The shorter man sat down at the piano and inhaled deeply.
“Ready, sweetheart?”
The brunette nodded and stared at the blonde with a look of pure adoration. Then the music began.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You
Quinn beamed at her girlfriend as she danced over to her and offered her a hand. She was pulled out of her chair and felt the music carry her to Rachel. As gracefully as she could, she twirled the tiny diva around her finger and laughed as the girl squealed with delight. Leroy laughed heartily and got up to sing along with his husband. The house was filled with the music and Quinn was energized by the love she had never felt in her old home.
Unfortunately, the song came to an end and with it Rachel fell into Quinn’s arms as they plopped down onto the couch.
“Merry Christmas, Quinn,” she whispered as she went to kiss the girl’s lips.
Quinn smiled as she felt Rachel’s warm lips on her own. Then she remembered her own gift and released the girl carefully.
“Let me go get my gift!”
With that she bounded up the stairs and into her room. She whizzed past her bed over to her dresser and pulled out the neatly wrapped box. Suddenly she became nervous. Would Rachel like it? She was quickly forced to push that thought aside as she heard Rachel’s infectious laughter travel up the stairs. Quickly, she went back downstairs and into the living room to find the brunette in Leroy’s arms as Michael tickled her viciously.
“Daddy stop you’re embarrassing me in front of Quinn!” she shrieked as her face scrunched up.
The two finally surrendered and faced the nervous blonde. She cleared her throat and walked over to Rachel.
“Well, I didn’t choose a fun jazzy song to serenade you with, but I hope this gift brings you as much happiness as you have brought me. I have never been so happy before, Rachel and it is because of you and your fathers. My family was cold and distant; here I feel loved, truly and unconditionally loved. I love you Rachel, and I promise to keep loving you as long as you will let me. I can only hope this gift is enough for you.”
Rachel was blushing and she carefully took the small box from Quinn’s shaking hand. She removed the paper meticulously to reveal a black box. The instant she opened the container, her breath caught in her throat. Lying inside the velvet box was a necklace, a silver chain with a single eighth note. Her eyes welled with tears. It was beautiful.
“I-,” she stuttered, looking up at Quinn.
“Look on the back,” she whispered.
Rachel turned over the pendant to reveal a scripted Q in a heart.
“Do you like it?” the blonde asked nervously as she avoided the now watery chocolate eyes.
“This is amazing, Quinn. I-I can’t thank you enough,” she breathed as she pulled Quinn close to her and squeezed her tightly.
Quinn let out a sigh of relief and relished in her girlfriend’s warmth. The rest of the night was spent playing charades along with some holiday karaoke as opposed to Quinn’s past holidays filled with bland business conversation and alcohol. She felt warm, fuzzy, corny, and loved all at once as she sipped her hot chocolate and watched Rachel act out the word lemon quite animatedly.
***
A woman peered through the window of a small household in Lima, Ohio. The snow was coming down hard and the wind chilled her to the bone. She caught a glimpse of blonde hair and she moved so she could better see the girl. Through the foggy glass, the woman saw a tiny brunette curled up against a slender blonde, their bodies melding together into the brown couch. Two men laughed together as they danced around the living room; the laughter echoed in the woman’s heart.
Finally, she got up the courage to ring the doorbell, even though she knew it wasn’t her place to intrude on the family’s holiday festivities. She waited patiently at the door which was wrapped in a gold starred red and green wrapping paper. A puff of smoke released from her mouth as she exhaled into the cold air.
The door flung open and the woman was greeted by a tiny, hyper, brunette.
“Hello! Merry-,” she started but then was suddenly silenced by the presence in front of her.
Her face hardened and her body stiffened.
“Good evening, Mrs. Fabray,” she spoke in a hushed tone, “What can do for you?”
The woman took a deep breath.
“Is Quinn there?” she asked, although she knew the answer already.
Rachel peered inside, her face softening at the sight of her girlfriend; it quickly returned back to its hard state.
“Yes. What do you want?”
“How is she?”
Rachel put her hands on her hips.
“She is doing extremely well considering everything that has happened to her. Look, can I be frank?”
The woman nodded.
“I don’t like you. You hurt Quinn and people who hurt Quinn are on my naughty list.”
Mrs. Fabray nodded, fully expecting the brunette to be hostile.
“Listen, I know how much I have hurt my daughter. She is remarkable and I have let my faith and my ignorance get the better of me and now I have lost the only light in my life. Rachel, do you think I could speak to her for just a moment, please?”
Rachel contemplated this request.
“Give me a minute,” she whispered and left the door open.
Within a few moments, a blonde beauty stood at the door with her mouth wide open.
“Mom?” she breathed as she gaped at her mother.
The woman gave her a weak smile.
“Hi, Quinn,” Mrs. Fabray said softly.
“What-what are you doing here?”
“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing.”
Quinn scoffed.
“I’m doing fine, Mom. What’s the real reason you’re here?”
Mrs. Fabray sighed and rubbed her hands together.
“I made a mistake, Quinn, many actually. I do not expect you to forgive me, but just let me explain myself, alright? Let me try to apologize.”
The blonde nodded.
“Your father was a monster. Every moment in that house I feared that man more than death itself. Do you know why? He knows things about everyone. People fear him because of the damage he could do if they were to get on his bad side. When I realized that you had become pregnant, I panicked. What was I to do? Tell your father? I was selfish and hid my knowledge from him to protect myself; when you finally told him, I played the part of the innocent bystander. It killed me seeing you leave, but I was weak and lacked the courage to stand up to your father.
“It finally dawned on me that I wasn’t powerless. When I found out about the affair, I seized the opportunity to win you back and finally stand up for myself, for us. I was so set on us being a family that I forgot about how my coming back would affect you. My desire to be a normal happy family clouded my judgment and that is why I left after you told me that you are gay. It scared me, Quinn; but I soon realized how stupid I was being. I was letting fear control my life. I know it’s too late, but I needed you to know why I did what I did. I’m so sorry, Quinn, for everything.”
Quinn stood frozen in the doorway, the cold air rushing into the warm house, staring at her mother, the woman who had abandoned her twice. What made this apology different than the last one? She looked at her mother, really looked at her, and saw her for the first time. Her matching hazel eyes were glazed over with tears and she was breathing heavily. Then she saw it, deep within those eyes: fear, a fear she too remembered feeling when she first realized how she felt for Rachel. She remembered pushing Rachel away because she was afraid of what people would think, what her mother would think, what God would think. She had hurt Rachel because she was afraid of what would happen if they didn’t hate each other. She was afraid of love; but then, after all of the hate and bullying, Rachel had forgiven her. The girl had forgiven her for the bullying and slushying, and for pushing her away when all Quinn had really wanted was to pull her closer. It was the same fear that had inhabited her mother a few months ago in the dimly lit hospital room on the eve of her daughter’s birth. Now it was her turn to show the same forgiveness Rachel had shown to her not too long ago in the hallway of McKinley High.
She slowly took a step towards her mother and gazed deeply into her eyes. Then she wrapped her arms around the woman who began to shake with joy.
“I forgive you,” she breathed.
Her mother’s heart stopped momentarily; then she realized this was real, this was happening. Her daughter had finally forgiven her. She pulled out of the embrace and caressed Quinn’s cheek.
“I love you, Quinnie,” she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“I love you too, Mom.”
They hugged once more before Quinn took the woman’s coat and brought her inside to introduce her to Rachel Berry, the love of her life, the woman who made her want to be a better person, the woman who made her heart stop whenever she saw that sparkle in her chocolate brown eyes, the woman who was her only exception.