My Only Exception 14/20
“Rach?”
“Mhm?”
Quinn giggled at the tired girl she held in her arms. The two sat in a deserted hallway at McKinley High outside of the choir room. Rachel was burrowed deep within Quinn’s body and the blonde was content to hold the tiny diva and stroke her long brown hair.
“Well, we’ve been out here for an hour and I think I hear everyone packing up to leave. Perhaps we should go in there, show them that we’re alive?”
“No,” Rachel whined and nuzzled into Quinn’s neck.
“Please? I think it would be the perfect opportunity to, well, tell them about us.”
Rachel perked up and looked hopefully up at the blonde.
“Really? Are you sure, Quinn?”
Quinn exhaled and gazed back into Rachel’s expectant brown eyes. Was she sure? Her heart was pounding and her skin was tingling as it rubbed against Rachel’s warm arm. She looked down at the girl in her arms once more, noticing the way her hair fell in perfect curls, how her eyes never faltered. Quinn could feel her heart beating just as fast as her own. Slowly, she brought her hand to Rachel’s heart and took the girl’s hand, placing it gently over hers. Her breath washed over the brunette’s face as she uttered her answer.
“Positive.”
Rachel sighed and kissed Quinn’s nose tenderly. Suddenly she jumped out of Quinn’s arms and up onto her feet. She extended her hand to Quinn.
“Let’s go, slow poke!”
Quinn giggled and took her hand as it pulled her up. She still couldn’t believe how strong Rachel was. Their fingers intertwined and Quinn held the door open for Rachel. The room immediately became silent as all eyes fell to the girls’ hands. Brittany was smiling brightly as her pinky linked with Santana’s who was staring at the couple in shock.
“Excuse me, everyone,” Quinn started, even though she clearly had everyone’s attention.
Rachel looked at her and snaked her arm around Quinn’s waist, pulling her close. She decided to stay quiet and let Quinn break the news. It had to be Quinn.
The blonde took a deep breath and shivered at Rachel’s hand on her hip. It was enough to motivate her to go through with it.
“Rachel and I, well, we’re together now. I know it may be a shock to some of you,” she winked at Kurt who was beaming, “but this is real. It is not a fling, it is not fake, and it is not some ploy to torture Rachel. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and even though it means we’ll be getting slushied every day for the rest of our lives, at least we’ll be getting slushied together,” she smiled at the brunette who had tear filled eyes.
The hand squeezed her waist.
“Cool, we’re out. See you guys tomorrow,” Puck said and dragged Finn with him out the door.
The rest of the club, save for Kurt, remained in shock. Quinn and Rachel? Don’t they hate each other? Didn’t Rachel love Finn? Didn’t Quinn want Rachel dead? Apparently this was not the case. Rachel was grinning wildly and Quinn bent down to kiss the girl’s smile. Everyone gasped until Brittany broke the silence and began clapping. Quinn giggled and looked around to see what everyone was thinking. Mike’s jaw was cemented to the floor. Mercedes looked confused as hell but Kurt would obviously fill her in later. Artie and Tina were indifferent and Brittany was more than pleased. The only one Quinn couldn’t read was Santana; it worried her.
“Well,” Mr. Schuester said awkwardly, “good for you. I’m glad you are happy together. I guess that’s the end of rehearsal. I hope you all have a great last day of school tomorrow and have a wonderful summer.”
With that, Mr. Scheuster hugged each girl and went into his office. Tina pushed Artie towards the couple and smiled.
“I’m really happy for you guys,” she said meaningfully as Artie nodded in unison.
“Thanks, Tina,” Rachel said and released Quinn to give her and Artie a hug.
Quinn took the opportunity to go and talk to Santana. The brunette was sitting next to Brittany who was lovingly stroking her hand. Her eyes were glazed over but she blinked out of it once she saw Quinn.
“Hey,” she said softly.
Santana got up slowly, her hand still entwined with Brittany’s. Her brown eyes surveyed the blonde in front of her; it scared Quinn to death. Then, Santana engulfed her in a huge hug, her hands squeezing Quinn’s shoulders.
“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered into the blonde’s ear.
Quinn was in shock. She released a breath she’d been holding.
“You are?” she breathed back, clearly confused. Where was this coming from?
Santana released the blonde and took her hand gently and squeezed it.
“Well, sure at first I was super confused. I’m mean, it’s Man Hands; but then I saw the way you looked at her, how you smile around her. She’s making you happy, Q and honestly you haven’t been happy in a long time. Plus, who am I to judge who you date? I’m just glad that you have found your Brittany.”
Quinn choked back a sob and nodded slowly. Before she could stop herself, she embraced the brunette forcefully, holding on for dear life.
“Thank you, S.”
Santana nodded and kissed the blonde’s forehead as she pulled out of the hug.
“Go get your girl, Q.”
Quinn smiled and hugged Brittany before returning to Rachel. The moment she arrived at her side her body warmed. Her heart filled with overwhelming joy. She was out, she was with Rachel, and most importantly she was accepted, finally accepted. Now, she couldn’t speak for the rest of the school, but she knew that these twelve people loved her and that was enough for her. Rachel took her hand as she chatted animatedly with Mike Chang about next year’s choreography. Her eyes glanced at the clock and the time surprised her. She needed to get back to her baby, back to the hospital.
“Hey, Rach, I kind of have to get going,” she whispered.
“Oh!” Rachel exclaimed, “Well, Mike, I think next year will be quite successful. You are a brilliant dancer even though you barely open your mouth or speak words. I must be going home now. See you tomorrow!”
Quinn giggled at the girl’s honesty. It was annoying and adorable at the same time. She waved to Mike as she and the brunette said goodbye to the remaining glee club members. Suddenly, Quinn felt a pang in her stomach and she stopped short. Rachel stopped with her and looked up at her with concern.
“What’s wrong, Quinn?”
“I-I just realized that I checked out of the hospital but I don’t have anywhere to live,” she choked out, a tear spilling over.
Rachel’s heart broke as she stared at the distraught blonde. It had never occurred to her that Quinn had no place to live.
“Well, why don’t you spend the night at my place? I’ll call my fathers but I am sure that they will be happy to have you. We can stop at the hospital and see the baby and then go home for dinner.”
“Rachel, I couldn’t. It’s too much, really. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“Well, you’re not asking. I’m offering and you’re saying yes. So say yes.”
Quinn smiled, still not believing how she managed to get a girl like Rachel. A girl that was so open, so kind, so trusting. It truly amazed her. Tears fell from her hazel eyes but she made no effort to hide it.
“Yes,” she whispered as she placed her lips gently on the brunette’s, reveling in their softness
----------
The door to the hospital opened automatically and the girls were greeted with the overwhelming scent of freshly sterilized surgical instruments, lysol, ammonia and lingering musk. For some, the smell doesn’t bother them, but for Quinn it reminded her of the precious life waiting in the Peds ICU and it made her feel sick Quinn held onto Rachel as they made their way to her baby, her own heart threatening to break the confines of her own chest. Aside from her master plan to get back the diva, the baby had been on her mind all day. Her heart ached for the child as the urge to hold the baby and to keep her grew with each minute of her tiny life. The logical part of her was losing the moral battle to the part of her that desperately wanted to raise her baby girl in the incubator.
They reached the ICU and Rachel froze at the woman in front of the window. Shelby. Rachel released Quinn’s hand and marched over to her mother.
“What are you doing here again? You have no business visiting Quinn’s child!”
Quinn was confused too, until she caught a glimpse of the woman’s expression. Her eyes were pink and puffy and her cheeks were stained with tears. A look of awe, joy and pain was etched into her face. It broke Quinn’s heart.
The woman whirled around and saw the two girls looking at her with a confused look. She wiped her eyes, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.
“I-I’m sorry. I guess I’ll go.”
Shelby turned to leave, but stopped upon hearing a voice.
“Wait.”
Rachel gaped at Quinn. What was she doing? Shelby turned around slowly, wondering if she was simply hearing things. She wasn’t.
“Rachel deserves to know why you’re here, Ms. Corcoran. Why don’t you tell her?”
Quinn’s anger began to rise and she suddenly felt the need to protect Rachel from the woman. She pulled the brunette closer to her and stared expectantly at the woman. She remained silent.
“Tell me, Mom,” Rachel deadpanned.
The woman took a deep breath, contemplating whether she should say anything. She had nothing to lose.
“I came here the day Quinn had the baby and told her that I wanted to adopt her daughter. She refused to let me, but I had to see her one more time. She’s just-she’s just so beautiful.”
Rachel tensed. Her mother wanted Quinn’s baby? Why didn’t she want her, the daughter she actually created? She felt ugly, useless, disgusting. Her mother would rather have a new baby than her. As she bowed her head, Quinn wrapped her arms around the brunette, trying to comfort her for she too knew how it felt to have her mother reject her.
“I’m sorry, I should go. I shouldn’t have come here,” she spit out nervously as she turned to flee the premises.
“Why?” Rachel choked out as she let go of Quinn and faced her mother.
“Why what?” she asked.
“Why do you want Quinn’s baby and not me? Why won’t you give us a try? I have gone my whole life without you. Why are you willing to raise a newborn baby but not me, your actual daughter?”
Shelby was taken aback by her daughter’s forcefulness and honesty. The truth was that she didn’t know how to be a mother to a teenager let alone a girl she had abandoned. It hurt too much to try at this point. She was too late.
“It’s too late for you and me, Rachel. I’ve already missed so much. This baby is a chance for me to do things right and fix the mistakes I made with you.”
“But you can still fix them! Please, Mom, please, just try,” Rachel cried, her shriek echoing throughout the silent hallway.
Quinn watched the girl fight for her mother, each cry tugging at her heart.
“I don’t know how,” the woman whispered brokenly.
Rachel sighed.
“Take me out to dinner once in a while. Give me your number so I can talk to you about my problems. Come to my concerts and shows and bring me flowers. We can go mini golfing or bowling; although I’d prefer to avoid bowling because I am pretty sure those balls are a host to a wide range of diseases.”
Shelby smiled faintly at the suggestions. She gazed at her daughter, noting their similar features, their hair, noses and super human talking speed. Her heart swelled as the sides of her lips pulled into a grin. Then she remembered the child in the incubator, her light blonde hair and porcelain skin just like her mother’s. The instant she laid eyes on the child, her heart skipped a beat and she felt a connection, the same connection she gad felt when she held Rachel in her arms for the first time.
“Okay,” she said quietly.
Rachel’s mouth opened slightly, no words coming out, only indecipherable noises.
“Okay?”
“Yes, Rachel. I know I messed up with you. I was terrified of letting you down again. I don’t know if you realize how hard it is to reject your child, to refuse them love. I still haven’t forgiven myself, even though I know you have turned out wonderfully.”
Rachel beamed at the compliment. She never realized how her mother felt about their situation or how much she struggled with her decision. Without warning the brunette flung herself into her mother’s arms and buried her head into the woman’s chest, her tears wetting her shirt. Shelby’s body shook as she let out a sob and held her beautiful daughter.
Quinn watched as the pair embraced, feeling something akin to jealousy. Her mother would never forgive her for being gay. It had taken her six months to forgive her for getting pregnant. Rachel asked for her mother to give them a try and it worked like a charm. Her eyes welled up with tears that stung her hazel eyes. Obviously she was happy for Rachel, but she wanted her mother to hold her and go mini golfing with her. She choked out a cry and disguised it with a cough. It didn’t make it hurt any less.
Rachel pulled out of the embrace and looked over at the broken blonde; suddenly knowing what she had to do.
“You should adopt Quinn’s baby,” she said.
Both Quinn and Shelby’s eyes widened.
“What?” Quinn asked.
“I’ll admit, at first I was jealous of this infant, but now that things are changing I should not deprive you of your second chance, unless Quinn disapproves.”
Both women stared at the blonde expectantly. The room was spinning. How could she make this decision now? She gazed at the baby in the incubator, her eyes filled with longing. Her hands itched to hold the infant in her arms and never let go. This was all too much. Her stomach began to churn; she felt like she was going to vomit.
She bolted for the bathroom, her footsteps echoing through the hall. Quickly she ran into the room, slamming the door behind her and bursting into a stall. Quinn fell to her knees and grasped the porcelain toilet as she threw up her breakfast. She began to hyperventilate, as she brought her knees to her chest, her arms draped over her long legs. The hole in her heart seemed to double as the reality of losing her daughter came crashing down on her.
“Quinn?” a voice called.
Quinn ignored it and buried her head deeper into her knees; she was shaking. The stall door opened and Rachel stared at the girl on the floor rocking back and forth. She bent down and placed a gentle hand on Quinn’s tearstained face.
“Quinn, what is it?”
Quinn began breathing heavily again, her tears falling rapidly.
“I-I can’t do this. I- just- I can’t,’ she cried as she choked on her sobs.
Rachel sat down and wrapped her arms around the blonde; Quinn felt the hole fill slightly, her soul warming at the touch as she leaned into the small frame supporting her. Rachel ran her thin fingers through Quinn’s blonde locks causing the blonde to shiver.
“What can’t you do, sweetheart?” Rachel whispered.
Quinn shuddered in the brunette’s arms. Rachel held on tightly, never letting go.
“I can’t leave her like your mother left you.”
Rachel sighed as Quinn laid her head onto the girl’s shoulder.
“You are not abandoning her, Quinn. You are giving her a chance at life, a chance to be great, and a chance to have a wonderful and happy life. And who says you can’t be apart of her life, even if you do not physically care for her?”
The blonde looked up at Rachel.
“What do you mean?”
“Open adoption. My mother would adopt your baby and you and Puck would be able to visit her, get pictures, and be involved in her life without raising her alone. It’s the best solution I can think of.”
Quinn contemplated the idea. It could work.
“Do you think she’ll still love me as much as I love her?”
“Yes. Had my mother been in my life growing up, I would have loved her just the same. You are a wonderful person, Quinn. Your daughter deserves the best and this is the only way I think she’ll get it.”
Quinn calmed down, her breathing becoming more even. She could do this. She was going to live with Rachel and Shelby was going to keep her baby. She could do this. Rachel stood up and brought the blonde to her feet and wrapped her into a hug.
“We can do this, Quinn.”
Quinn pulled back and looked at her.
“We…” she started
Rachel’s eyes widened at her slip up.
“I mean, you, you can do this, Quinn.”
“I like the sound of we, actually,” she said as she kissed Rachel on the cheek.
The two grabbed each other’s hand and left the bathroom grinning like idiots. Shelby was still at the window staring adoringly at the child. She really wanted her.
“Ms. Corcoran?”
“Yes, Quinn,” she whispered, trying not to cry.
“I thought about it. The reason I didn’t want you to adopt my baby was because it would hurt Rachel. And I could never do that to her after all I’ve put already her through. But now that you two are okay and Rachel approves of the adoption, I have a proposition for you: an open adoption. I-I really love her and I want what’s best for her and that is you. If I could maybe visit her or get a pict-“
Quinn was interrupted as Shelby smothered her in a hug.
“Yes! Of course, Quinn!! You can see her whenever you like. And of course I’ll send you pictures and everything. I cannot thank you enough, Quinn. I really can’t”
Quinn cried into Shelby’s shoulder, relieved that her baby was going to be okay, that she was going to be okay, that she and Rachel were going to be okay. She looked over to Rachel who had her hand on her heart as a tear danced down her cheek. Quinn smiled and mouthed two words that meant so much between them.
Thank you.