Trouble in Mind

Sep 07, 2008 00:08

Harriet, the woman who runs Preserve, had an Indian-style pot luck this afternoon. I'd promised to attend, so I baked naan and headed up the street ( Read more... )

parties, trauma

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Comments 19

lamentables September 7 2008, 07:27:12 UTC
Eeeep!

Say NO to simple solutions.
I can imagine your stressful, long hours would make anything like this especially bad at the moment.

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 08:59:06 UTC
Very true. The ice gets thinner under stress, and I haven't been my best self for a week or so now.

All it took to get me through the evening was a couple of DVDs' worth of escapist television. This is a vast improvement over former times, when I would have acted to realize the visions of single malt and large blocks of chocolate that were dancing through my head on the way home from today's party.

So, paradoxically, while my sensitivity to stimuli increases, it seems that I'm also becoming more resilient.

The human mind, she is verreh strange, no?

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roxymissrose September 7 2008, 08:49:08 UTC
*HUGHUG*
I know--it stinks on ice.

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 09:00:17 UTC
Do you? I've been surprised to learn how many other people feel this way.

Makes me wonder how the hell anyone ever throws a party. SRSLY.

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tehomet September 7 2008, 11:30:08 UTC
My first reaction was "But you're cool!" and just the kind of person I would love to have at any future party I might have.

My second reaction was a bit of embarrassed relief that I'm not the only one who finds parties a challenge to cope with.

I think it's brave of you to go, even for a short space.

You baked naan! You showed up! You enjoyed the garden, the conversation, the refreshments! Apart from being dissatisfied with the length of time you spent there, did you mess anything up?

I think not.

Give yourself some credit -- showing up at the party is the hardest part, in my opinion.

*continues to admire you*

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 18:46:15 UTC
Ha! Well, thank you! I appreciate the vote of confidence, and I suspect that any party you might throw would be a party I'd relax at.

No, I didn't break any social rules apart from the gracious leavetaking one. The bad feelings arise strictly from exposure to the combat zone, and have very little to do with how well or poorly I fought.

Put another way, they aren't reasonable feelings. Just nervous system reactions.

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roseambr September 7 2008, 15:37:37 UTC
I agree completely with tehomet. You went, you helped Harriet set up for the evening, you conversed, you extended yourself on a day when you really just wanted to crawl under the covers and hibernate. Personally, I congratulate you for moving outside of the house at all after the work weeks you have been enduring. I think that often we are our worst critics and hardest on ourselves. Lighten up! We all hate social events where we know no one and the conversations are "social talk". Why do you think school events always consisted of circles of friends? No one wanted to step outside of that comfort zone. Only the most extroverted individuals actually look forward to these events. And often they are the ones hosting ( ... )

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 18:38:30 UTC
Oooh, I'd forgotten about that paraliminal. I could really use that one! Lack of self-esteem is certainly in the mix somewhere--cause or effect, I'm not sure which.

And you're right--apart from rabbiting out without a word to my host, I don't think my actual outward behavior was bad.

Why on earth do parties exist if everyone feels this way? It's very bizarre.

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roseambr September 7 2008, 18:50:14 UTC
Because the extroverts of the world love to feel like they are getting people together. AND, we all hope we can overcome out dislike and discomfort of these kinds of social events. I think that's why, as we get older, we care less and less and go to fewer of them.

PS: I sent an email about our train reservations. Give it a look and let me know if it's ok.

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 19:04:10 UTC
Extraverts. Damn.

And I got your note. Sounds great, can't wait, and THANK YOU for taking care of these details. Very much appreciated.

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emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 18:34:04 UTC
Ah yes.

Weddings.

Remind me when the big event is again?

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(The comment has been removed)

emeraldsedai September 7 2008, 19:04:38 UTC
Got valium?

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