So wooooooonderful....hokeypokey10October 28 2011, 09:00:53 UTC
Amazing! How *do* you do it? lol Seriously looking forward to Sir Leader! There were a few gramatical errors in this one before, so the rewriting is going well ;)
I liked how Deidara thought of taking the scroll with him - that definitely earned him some points.
/"Well," Kisame answered, hands casually stuffed into his pockets, "he did threaten to blow us up, somewhere along the way."/
That made me laugh, and also gave a sort of lighter feel to this part of this chapter. It also gives a good impression of how you interpret Kisame's personality in this story.
You describe things very well, I could picture what the entrance of the hideout looks like in your story.
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Seriously looking forward to Sir Leader!
There were a few gramatical errors in this one before, so the rewriting is going well ;)
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Totally awesome!
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/"Well," Kisame answered, hands casually stuffed into his pockets, "he did threaten to blow us up, somewhere along the way."/
That made me laugh, and also gave a sort of lighter feel to this part of this chapter. It also gives a good impression of how you interpret Kisame's personality in this story.
You describe things very well, I could picture what the entrance of the hideout looks like in your story.
Reply
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