Holy wall of text, Batman!
Hi LJ!
I ummed and ahhed for a whole five minutes before deciding the best way to keep a record of COLLECTORMANIA LONDON 2009 OMG would be to keep a written diary. A written, illustrated diary, probably copied word for word from the little book in which I've written it. I'm going to take analogue photos and digital and I am going to use the analogues in my physical copy and the digitals in my LJ copy.
Being one of Those Sorts I stayed up until 4 a.m. last night panicking and packing and packing and panicking some more. I'm now wrapped up warm in leather boots, denim jeans, cotton vest, polyester shirt (at least, I think polyester - the lack of colour fade would suggest as much) and - er, whatever my coat and bandana are made of. And a scarf! Also underpants.
I. Am. Bricking. It.
I'm exhausting myself with constant excitement but can't exactly bring myself to resent that, or to stop, though listening to the World of Warcraft soundtrack is as soothing as ever.
hathy_col's due to turn up half an hour or so, and I jotted down my LJ prompts for a reason; gonna give smut-writing a go, see if it'll settle my twisty, twisty stomach.
Castiel/Uriel, possessiveness
Uriel voices his anger at humans openly - hides nothing when he calls them mud-monkeys, scum and filth, anything and everything that comes to mind.
He is subtler in his anger towards Castiel. When Castiel returns from his conversation with Dean, Uriel is quick to question, quick to find fault with yet another mortal. It pains Castiel a little to hear it, truth be told; pains him to see his brother so disillusioned as to consider even the righteous man unworthy. Castiel believes Dean worthy, even if the human does not believe it himself; believes saving Dean was worth the sacrifices made.
Uriel does not trust Dean; tells Castiel this as he uses his vessel's thumbs to rub firm circles into the muscles of Castiel's shoulders. Castiel relaxes into the touch easily, believing Uriel in much the same way he believes Dean; or believes in them, to be more accurate, because while they may both be misguided on occasion, the driving force behind them is still good.
Castiel shudders as Uriel's hands drag down his back, something about the firm touch almost painful in the acute pleasure it brings, so different from anything in Heaven, and he can understand better now the ease with which humans get lost in sensation.
"Do not choose a human over us," Uriel says, and though the tone is a warning, Castiel cannot help but read it as affectionate. He knows Uriel a little too well, in some ways.
"I am his guardian," Castiel reminds before turning over, stretching out on his back with more comfort than he felt earlier and accepting Uriel's hand wrapping around him, feeling boneless and lazy and strangely light, relieved between the conversation he had with Dean and the peculiar but pleasant sensation of his mucles uncoiling under Uriel's earlier efforts.
Of course, as Uriel stroked him much of the work was undone as muscles tensed up automatically, his feet digging into the sheets. "You do more for him than you need to," Uriel says, stretching out over Castiel, not close enough to be skin to skin but close enough that the warmth of him can be felt. "Remember who you serve when you offer Dean your assistance."
Castiel raises a hand to Uriel's neck, wraps his fingers around the back lightly to draw him down, and smiles to himself as he arches into Uriel's hand. "Even if I forgot, I'm sure you would remind me."
Right, that one can be titled Priorities. One down, a trillion to go! And I'm on the train with Ann and the ever delightful
hathy_col. Ann is new to me but totally lovely and has beautiful hair. I may also have made a bit of a doofus of myself with pre-convention excitement - talking AT them about Supernatural and the like, and rather amusingly working out "HE BUILT HIS OWN HOUSE" as a top trump for attractive men would mean Johnny Depp could be beaten by Misha Collins... and James May.
Also, my eye makeup today is drag queen awesome. Blue and red and gold :D, I look like a creme egg wrapper.
Say hi,
hathy_col!
hathy_col's message: "O HAI!"
Say hi, Ann!
Ann's message: "Salve! (That's Latin for hello. I am so sad)"
We're good, I remember "Eheu!" (Alas), and for oh so mysterious and not Legacy of Kain related at all reasons, "Manus celer dei" (The swift hand of God). I used to - er, I forget. There has been much discussion of plans for the weekend and I'm still periodically getting stomach flutters but I'm running out of panicky juice; I've excited myself (steady now) to the point where panic is no longer an option.
Right! Now have met up with everyone else, Rob (our resident Doctor Who) is awesome and watching him finish off making his Gambit outfit is pretty super-cool. Pretty darned super cool. The tube was as hilariously busy as ever and we had Nandos for dinner while discussing Star Trek, Doctor Who, Terminator, Transformers and Batman at length.
A - may - zing.
Going to shower now <3, brb!
Oh my GOD. Warm Water. Warm water in a practical bath. Swoon! Sorry, some of you LJ buddies may not know this but our hot water at home has been temperamental for going on about seven years now in winter. Man, though, the relief. I get to smell like lemon and honey tomorrow instead of, er, well, just me? I don't know.
Just finished taking photos of our two in the Star Trek uniforms (Ann and Rob).
Morning after! I'm bare-armed in London with Gambit and
moonlettuce off LJ and her twitter buddy and omg free ticket to get in because they are FRIGGING AWESOME. Seriously - not only did we get the tube free yesterday because it was supposed to be "pay at destination" but the guards couldn't be bothered and let us through anyway, but my mates with prebought tickets JUST HAPPENED TO BE behind
moonlettuce and co, who had a SPARE TICKET (God? Thank you. I MEAN IT) so they texted me to come back over from the pay-on-the-day queue. AMAZING. Not a huge number of costumes about yet but I've seen our Gambit and Penny from Doctor Horrible, a Tenth Doctor, a mountie, two Jedi(s)?
Skipping ahead I, er, I.
It is 10.30 a.m.
I have met Misha Collins. And Rene Auberjonois. And Misha Collins. And Jason Momoa. And MISHA COLLINS.
Guys who haven't gone/can't go to a convention? Allow me to reassure you. He is real. He is a living, breathing human being. Who just happens to be astonishingly, jaw-droppingly, breath-takingly beautiful.
I mean breathtaking in the literal sense, by the way - I went purple. I would be mortified but - MISHA COLLINS. I also had the most useless conversation with him EVER. It basically went "Hi." "Hi." "You look nervous!" "It's my first convention and I just came down from Liverpool." "Oh? How'd you get here?" "Train!" *hands over photo* "There you go! Bye!" "Bye!"
LOOK I PANICKED OKAY. IT WAS MISHA COLLINS. CASTIEL. HE WAS IN FRONT OF ME. I WAS BRIGHT RED AND HE WAS CALM AND GORGEOUS AND GORGEOUSER.
And I met Jason Momoa who is stunning and a sweetheart, and I WANT A RENE AUBERJONOIS. He calmed me down. I repeat, Rene Auberjonois calmed me down. He signed the autograph, drew me a little picture, and took a photo with me, and apparently someone about five minutes ago before me was there for the Legacy of Kain series as well.
I'm now sat quietly calming myself down before it's my turn to queue (and yes, this does effectively mean that I'm queueing to queue. Olympic queueing skills ftw).
Other highlights; I met
autumnrae89 who is Not Pleased that Misha said she looked surly, but it's okay, he paid compensation in the form of green jelly babies.
Also saw a mini Castiel :D and OMG SO CUTE and - a blind man just stood on my foot. I don't know how to feel about this.
But yes, mini-Castiel had a mini trenchcoat and mini suit and mini black wings and was basically just TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD.
And you know who else is?
honeyblack. She is GORGEOUS. She's petite and sweet and fantastic to hug and utterly adorable and BASICALLY WE NEED TO STAY FRIENDS FOREVER Y/Y/MFY?
Other awesome costumes have thus far included; an Alien, an Indiana Jones, many Tenth Doctors, some pirates, many Jedi, stormtroppers and Darth Vaders. It's amazing! And I had a lovely natter about fangirling and queueing with a gent named Pedro who was here because of friends making him tag along; and there was much discussion of the popularity of Supernatural and the adorable Castiel cosplayer. We're now in a queue of about 100 people for photos (I'm surgically attached to
honeyblack at the moment) and my God, it's worth every second of waiting to stalk him again. Hee! Oh, so much love, I've not been this happy since - God, since I was 15? The friendship and love and cameraderie is like surgery to fix a thousand scars I never knew I had. It's like getting a refill of love at some sort of pure geeky love cafe. I also found out off Pedro that mini-Cas is here for an autograph and photo with Misha as his birthday and Christmas present from his mum. D'awww! Oh, and
honeyblack can lipread. Am down to about 40 people in the queue now, so am putting away the book til later. Will tell you how he smells. Hee! <3 <3 <3
He smells gorgeous. Soft and warm and slightly cologneed but I can't place what of and just.
I have been touched by an angel. I have had Misha Collins' arm around my waist. I can't even remember if he said anything. I'm now in afterglowy bliss with
honeyblack sharing many cuddles as we're a little overwhelmed. You know.
A LITTLE.
honeyblack was in the queue behind me and attests to the fact my face just lit up on seeing him. XD. She's a little "!!!" thinking he recognised her from her Twitter or similar because he acted as if he knew her but I'm pretty sure he just recognised her from her slightly more effective than mine photo-stalking <3!
WELL. I'm done being overly creepy for the moment. Allegedly. I'm... I'm overwhelemed. I am... :D.
I'm going to give
honeyblack words now for I am out of them!
(And before I do, pretty sure I just watched Vincent Valentine jack someone off. You know, after imitating Arnold Schwartzenegger)
honeyblack's message: Hello :) It's your friend, Amy, we are at collectormania studying the 'importance of the effect of Misha Collins upon the modern world' & have learnt a lot, I feel! We are now ready for our orgy. I am less terrified. I have had so much fun with you today -
And I'm cutting off the rest from LJ because it was really sweet and touching and she was just REALLY REALLY NICE to me, okay, and I want to hug her full message forever and ever and ever because gosh <3.
*sniff* Well, I'm officially touched. I'm in row M15 which is a fair bit back and the photo isn't the absolute best (we both do the tight smile with teeth showing through trick) but I don't mind much because I just stalked both Jason Momoa and Misha Collins. I repeat; I just followed both Jason Momoa and Misha Collins through crowds in under fifteeen minutes. OH. MY. GOD.
Also? Aisle seat! \o/ I get both gorgeousness AND easy viewing access and someone to sit next to because the girl on the aisle seat opposite swapped places with me so I could sit next to
honeyblack :D!
As to the talk, I know you guys have heard the audio now, but for the record; my COMPLETELY INCOMPRENSIBLE QUESTION went like so; "Hi! Erm, this one's for Julie - with us all now finding out the angels are basically like a big dysfunctional family, we know how Castiel feels about most of the other angels, but we don't know basically much about how Anna feels about them, do you reckon Anna actually misses them like brothers and sisters or do you think she's glad she's left them?"
And Misha was all, "Did you actually get that?"
I tried to explain I was a Northerner (we speak faster! Especially when nervous!) in between the girl holding the mic out for me going "Breathe, hon, just breathe" XD. But Julie gave the answer I wanted, which was basically that yes, she thinks Anna misses them, is tired of all the fighting, and Anna does still try to reach out to Castiel; but Anna's always doing exactly what she thinks is right.
Oh, and as to Castiel/Anna, everyone can :D. Because Misha reckons they've done it, Julie reckons they haven't, so we have for and against and therefore we're good to play with it however we like. \o/
Hm, anything else? OH. Yes. In with that went the other highlight; the decision was that if angels don't have genitalia then angel-sex just consists of intense staring. Which, I'm pretty sure, makes Castiel/EVERYTHING EVER canon.
So, I'm now back at the hotel, full of pizza, I've been on lengthy conversations with both mum and my sister consisting largely of "OH MY GOD :D", I've nattered to my darling Iona, and helped two lovely girls into corsets (and out of them) and taken pictures.
Life is pretty darned good right now. I was 100% a complete and total fangirl today with all the self control of my 14 year old, er, self.
Um.
Well, I should wind up my thoughts for the night before writing some porn and taking a shower (or the reverse, taking a shower and then writing some porn).
In short; I. Regret. Nothing.
Genderswapped!Sam/Castiel, bewilderment
Sam is every bit as beautiful in this form as he is as a male. It does not puzzle Castiel that he should think so; angelic tastes encompass far more than the flesh, and Castiel sees the strength and bravery in him, the determination and hope; but nonetheless, switch of male to female aside, there is something different that he can't quite place.
Castiel takes Sam's hand in his own, links his fingers with Sam's, pulls him in for a kiss. Sam accepts the kiss, isn't uncomfortable with this much, and Castiel tries to taste the change; still can't quite work out what's wrong.
As ever, with humans, their words and gestures tell the story.
Well, darnit, that attempt went nowhere, probably because I couldn't concentrate for more than five minutes at a time. Gee, wonder why?
Let's try again with a different prompt for a minute (though before I do, it must be said - I LOVE you crazy ladies. Two notebook pages of prompts? You are epic. I'll never be bored again!
Chuck/Castiel - wonder
After Castiel turns renegade, Chuck stops dreaming about him. He's not sure why - not sure if it's the other angels controlling his dreams and deciding what he should see, or something worse, that maybe Castiel doesn't have a future for him to dream.
What the heck, I'll get back to that later, inspiration just is not striking at all.
Sunday now! Mysteriously I have ended up sitting by Misha's signing area. Wonder how that happened..? I'm still a little surprised by the Mishaland : Twitter : General populace proportions which is rather silly given logically I know it's thousands : ten thousands : millions but even so. Hee!
Also, um, I may have bumped into Rhys and Ianto from Torchwood. Literally. As in turn around, bump, look up, "... !!!" and "Oh my God, you're you! Um! Can I take a photo?" and they were all "... no."
And I now have a ticket for the Torchwood talk - number 321 - which apart from the John Rhys Davies and Star Trek talks is pretty much the only thing I'm really interested in today. N22, that I recall.
And you know what? I don't mind. I am so, so happy right now. Wrapping my head around the fact that if I look up I am looking at Misha aside, I've had an amazing, amazing time. Today is the scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast after yesterday's epic sex. I even got to have another hot shower AND A BATH last night so my skin is clean and dry and smells like the Body Shop's concept of Neroli Jasmine. Screw my allergy to water and blotchy red skin after any exposure to it, the itching was SO worth it.
And OH MY GOSH, I just got to try on a corset - a proper steel-boned corset - I can take a 36 inch waist! 36 inch!
ERM. ERM. I. I just grew a pair and while Rene Auberjonois was on his own for two minutes I ran over and thanked him for calming me down yesterday and told him what a wonderful time I'd had and then thanked him again and ran for it. Not so impressive; seeing a lycra Spiderman walk past and, er, suffice to say you could tell which way the man was dressed.
And oh, omg, I just - deja vu! Epic deja vu. That was a little weird. I can't complain.
Today I have acquired more nick-nack :D, my stomach is a wee bit dodgy, and I acquired some free badgers. And, er, just got passed by R2D2. As you do. Badges, not badgers by the way. Glowy teeth Jedi is here today, who for all his stereotypical geekiness is a thoroughly lovely gentleman.
Oh man XD, someone is playing Rock Band who can't sing, it's hilarioous in that someone who already knows they're bad deliberately being worse sort of way.
See, this is - perfect to me. Expense aside, this is exactly - this is the fantasy I conjure up of conventions and it's REAL.
There's just so much enthusiasm and happiness and sheer, sheer love for everything here. I mean, I queued outside to get in (position #4 in the pay-on-the-day queue - no freebie ticket today but I was up early so I wasn't stuck all the way at the end of the queue in the rained-upon part) and again was talking to two people who had been complete and total strangers to me up until then and nattered with them for the best part of an hour about movies and Supernatural and the visual and sound effect industries, in particular the use of a cat (... not in that way) and a makeshift flame-thrower. Not in combination, mind.
John Rhys Davies was fabulous; after giving us a wonderful starter speech about the size of the universe and man's insignificance in comparison to it meaning our knowledge amounts to statistically nothing so someone like Richard Dawkins saying there's no possibility of the existence of a God is either stupidity or hubris. The Catholic in me goes "hee!" at that, he just told us about everything you could want to know, Indiana Jones, I Claudius, having been a brickie, his daughter, the Lord of the Rings - he was just an utter and complete natural raconteur.
And after that - Star Trek! George Takei made it. He's got a wonderful voice and I scarcely made any notes at all because I was hooked on all three stars - Rene Auberjonois was as adorable as ever and the girl's name slips my mind but she was lovely too and had fabulous boobs. But I think there were two stand out moments for me in that one - George Takei saying he long ago accepted that his gravestone will say in huge letters "Here lies Hikaru Sulu", and then in smaller letters, "AKA George Takei". Which Rene liked, because it rhymed. And he said what I've always thought :D - that Star Trek is so popular BECAUSE it's positive and upbeat and says that we CAN learn to accept and embrace each other's differences which in a TV world of doom and gloom is - well, marvellous, really. <3 <3 <3
Torchwood mostly slips my mind too but I met a lovely group of girls who gave me free Save Ianto Jones badges and shipped the Dean, Castiel and Sam teddies with the Ianto and Jack teddies (Jack was perving on a Sam/Dean/Ianto threesome and then Castiel was all :O and had a stare-off with Jack). Oh, and met a girl who's involved with "The Torchwood Diaries", I believe she plays Ianto in it - we had a good natter in the queue.
The Torchwood lot were filthy and hilarious; my favourite moments included them bringing up being cheesed off the BBC didn't mention that Save Ianto Jones has raised £13000 for charities including Children in Need in Ianto's name, because, well,
eternalwings. Whee! And discussing Gareth owning the Torchwood dolls and playing with them in the bath. "Oh, hello John." "Oh hello Ianto, what are you doing in the basement?" "Oh, I just dropped my biro...".
And John teasing the crowd by pretending he was leaving Torchwood then basically bellowing "JUST KIDDING!" or words to that effect. Final highlight of that for me was Gareth saying he reckons Jack becomes the Face of Boe by Ianto sticking his decapitated head in a jar full of miracle gro.
Welp! It's time to go, just waiting on Rob (our resident Doctor Who/Gambit) to turn up, and then off to grab my big blue bag and head home! It has been - to put it mildly - epic. John Barrowman is SO pretty in real life, oh my goodness, prettier than he looks on the shows or in photoshop.
And, and, bringing it back to who we all know it was really about, Misha :D. He can photograph less than brilliantly but in real life? I've never seen someone so ridiculously perfect from every imaginable angle in real life. He's just - and the constant look of genuine curiosity and interest, cocking his head and looking up at people when listening to them, even if it's not quite as intensive/amusing as Castiel's "Que?" face - he's just so bright.
Also I cocked up earlier - it wasn't him with his arm around my waist, it was him with his arm around my shoulder and me with my arm around HIS waist. And he's very warm and compared to my five foot four he's VERY tall, and he's solid but comfy and he's just - perfect. Not just practically perfect in every way, perfect.
I missed Ray Harryhausen but had such an incredible time that I can't even be bummed about that. I'm stiff-necked and sore-footed from too long standing around with bad posture, but can't bring myself to resent that either.
Misha alone was orgasmic.
Jason Momoa was a gorgeous plus.
Rene Auberjonois made it turn from something utterly overwhelming into something where I didn't just feel like a prattish fangirl, I felt welcomed and loved, and running back to say thank you to him is something I'll never regret, ever.
honeyblack is warm and sweet and loving and a gorgeous, gorgeous human being, and I will never be able to thank her enough for fangirling with me, or for our fangirly post-Misha cuddle.
autumnrae89 and
moonlettuce were epic <3. To the former, I'm sorry for constantly getting distracted and running off on you; to the latter, THANK YOU for the ticket, I still can't believe that actually happened!
Everyone, everything, every second mentioned in this diary of events is another reason why this weekend is the happiest I've been in years. And after I've got home and had dinner and told everyone the stories about what happened this weekend - possibly the happiest I've ever been in my life. I'll give my sister her Jared mousepad; I'll cover some of my bags in all my newly acquired badges; I'll talk the ears off anyone who will listen and wait for dad and my brother to get back from snooker and talk to them some more; and in theory I should then sleep, in practise I'll be uploading photos, maybe even starting to type this up; and I'll say my prayers and will be stuck for where to even begin with the thanks for this one; and I will go into work tomorrow knowing the world is a better place and there's more to life and love and the world than being single in a crappy job and I will hand in my notice next year with pride.
I didn't cry while I was there and I haven't now - I'm not crying with happiness - but I'm woobie with it. I'm teary-eyed and shaky and stunned that something so prolongued wonderful could happen to me.
And it's down to Youtube and you, Livejournal. Youtube for the season one gag reel that got me into the show; you guys for keeping me interested despite my gnat-sized attention span. I love you. I love you.
And even if there were no wrap up lines to reall finish with, I'd like to steal from a few appropriate sources for you all to find the line that suits you best.
"Don't ever change."
"Be excellent to each other."
"May the force be with you - always."
"Live long and prosper."
And last but not least, the simplest line from the most simply heroic character of all time, something to sum up in total the situation as it stands now.
Take it away, Samwise Gamgee.
"Well, I'm back."
P.S. Sorry for the lack of porn. Suffice to say, I was distracted.