Speaking of the telephone
I grew up the youngest girl in a household of 3 women. My mom, my older sister, and me. And 3 female cats - one for each of us. Sure, alternate weekends with Dad and his household, and I've learned a lot from having a younger brother over there. But a lot of who and what I am comes from most of my time spent in a household with no men. So I find I have a very different idea of what it means to live without one.
When I say "I don't need a man" I don't mean "I'll cope with being alone if I have to." I mean "I'm good with friends and family, thanks. But hey, a boyfriend is a shiny bonus!" (Obviously this is from a hetero perspective.)
From this perspective I offer the following tirade:
When I was a teenager, my Mom taught me not to wait by the phone for a boy to call me. EVER. If I said I wanted to, she told me that was not one of my options. If a boy cannot bother to tell me specifically when he's going to call, or ask me when it's a good time to call me, boy can cope with missing out on the Emberlicious action. I have a life - family, friends and hobbies - and about a million better things to do than sit around putting them all on hold waiting for some guy to call me and tell me what he wants. If he doesn't think I'm worth planning ahead, or trying again, it's his loss.
Mind you, if I think he's worth it, I'm not ashamed to call him m'self. And if he's worth one call, he's probably worth as many as it takes to actually get a real conversation in. And if I find myself resenting the effort it's taking, well, I guess that tells me what I need to know, doesn't it?
And sometimes I think it's worth it to wait for him to call me. But I know when I do that it's because I'm choosing to wait. I know that there's a limit to how long I'll hold my breath for him, and that I'd better start breathing again before I hit the real limit. And if I find myself waiting with anything other than pleasant anticipation, if I find that it hurts to wait, I know I'm the one in control of that hurt. I chose to wait by the phone, and I can choose to stop waiting. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember that choice. Sometimes I take longer than I should to assert that choice. But in the end, I know the choice is mine, and eventually I will take it.
And you know, since I started dating in highschool, I have NEVER been without some kind of lover or boyfriend for more than a few months at a time.
And I'm not a pushy bitch who expects my boyfriend to treat me like the queen to his peasant. I don't end up with boys who have no backbone. On the contrary, if you want to date me, you'd better have a backbone. I don't refuse to compromise with you. But I refuse to be compromised for you. And I DO know the difference.
--Ember--
When I say "I don't need a man" I don't mean "I'll cope with being alone if I have to." I mean "I'm good with friends and family, thanks. But hey, a boyfriend is a shiny bonus!" (Obviously this is from a hetero perspective.)
From this perspective I offer the following tirade:
When I was a teenager, my Mom taught me not to wait by the phone for a boy to call me. EVER. If I said I wanted to, she told me that was not one of my options. If a boy cannot bother to tell me specifically when he's going to call, or ask me when it's a good time to call me, boy can cope with missing out on the Emberlicious action. I have a life - family, friends and hobbies - and about a million better things to do than sit around putting them all on hold waiting for some guy to call me and tell me what he wants. If he doesn't think I'm worth planning ahead, or trying again, it's his loss.
Mind you, if I think he's worth it, I'm not ashamed to call him m'self. And if he's worth one call, he's probably worth as many as it takes to actually get a real conversation in. And if I find myself resenting the effort it's taking, well, I guess that tells me what I need to know, doesn't it?
And sometimes I think it's worth it to wait for him to call me. But I know when I do that it's because I'm choosing to wait. I know that there's a limit to how long I'll hold my breath for him, and that I'd better start breathing again before I hit the real limit. And if I find myself waiting with anything other than pleasant anticipation, if I find that it hurts to wait, I know I'm the one in control of that hurt. I chose to wait by the phone, and I can choose to stop waiting. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember that choice. Sometimes I take longer than I should to assert that choice. But in the end, I know the choice is mine, and eventually I will take it.
And you know, since I started dating in highschool, I have NEVER been without some kind of lover or boyfriend for more than a few months at a time.
And I'm not a pushy bitch who expects my boyfriend to treat me like the queen to his peasant. I don't end up with boys who have no backbone. On the contrary, if you want to date me, you'd better have a backbone. I don't refuse to compromise with you. But I refuse to be compromised for you. And I DO know the difference.
--Ember--