It is cold. I feel slightly dead. Sometimes I just want to rip my skin off. Sometimes I feel too much pain. Right now I just want quiet.

I want to be someone else today. Crabby hubby=crabby me. I'm not doing well with losing weight. I want to better myself, but sometimes the amount of work it will take is horrifying. I am going to school, going to weight watchers, paying more attention to skin care than I ever have in my life, but still I don't feel good.

I have to say that thew more practice I get at caring about myself... the better I get at it.

I want to update, but I really haven't got much to say. I've been trying to get my final project for my class at school together. I've not been successful at it. I keep getting frustrated and starting over. In other news I'm sticking with the whole Weight Watchers thing, but it is frustrating. I'm bored and frustrated mostly. See not much to

I have been trying to get over myself. Going through a bad attitude time. I let my self feel hopeless for a little while. I nearly ruined my marriage. I am behind in school. I am on the up now, though. I had a friend give me a much-needed "wake up, Emily, start acting like yourself dammit!" So I'm trying again. Trying to take better care of ( Read more... )

I just told my son "I love you." He replied "I love you too Mommy"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not in the best of moods today. I want something that I cannot name. All this coveting is making me crazy. Shut up Emily, you've always been crazy.

Am I insane to want more passion in my life? I feel happy but unfulfilled. What is this anxiety plaguing me?I am uneasy, but not unhappy. What am I to do with this feeling? Can anyone understand or am I shoutiing into a vacuum.

Why the heck am I alive?

I’m finding myself sitting here thinking really deep thoughts. As Tori Amos once sang:”What’s so amazing about really deep thoughts?” Really, most people that spout spiritual and emotional advice are pretentious assholes in search of meaning in their own lives. I know that holds true for me. I[i] am[/i] a pretentious asshole in search of meaning ( Read more... )