Ghost Woman Chapters 41 & 42
Pairing/Characters: Don/OFC-Elle, Robin, Alan
Rating: Pg-13~Don Angst + H/C
Summary: Don and Elle's rift has become larger while Don is tempted. Elle considers the unthinkable in revenge
Spoilers: None really but I do try to incorporate canon as much as possible
Notes/Warnings: Thanks to shaolingirl for betaing. Any other boo boos are mine!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Numb3rs. I just like to play with them
Chapter 41
Over the last few weeks things had really fallen apart for Don and Elisabeth. Don was at his wit's end with the whole situation. He still couldn’t believe that she knew Coop and never said anything. True, her affair with him was years before they met and was long over but just the idea of the whole thing made his blood boil. Maybe he was jealous like she had so callously put it, but she had no right to keep this from him. He had been so frustrated over the last weeks that he was glad when Robin told him he could always talk to her. He didn’t really like to talk about his problems but he felt that at this point he really needed to.
Don and Robin were eating sandwiches in the break room and going over his testimony for the Monroe trial when Robin asked if he was ok.
Don sighed and rubbed his jaw, "Everything’s fine."
"Oh, come on, Don. Something’s wrong,” she said with a wide smile. “You know, I’ve been told I’m a good listener."
"Yeah, I know, Robin. It’s kind of personal."
"Well, we’re friends so you know you can talk to me. If you don’t want to you don’t have to but maybe it would help clear your head." She squeezed his hand and then went back to eating her sandwich.
They sat in silence for a while. Without thinking, Don spoke. "It’s Elisabeth. I just don’t know what to do."
"What happened?"
"I found out something that she yet again didn’t tell me about and I just can’t stop thinking about it."
Robin sat in silenced and waited for him to continue.
“I thought she had changed.”
Robin finally said, "Well, I hate to play devil’s advocate but it has been my experience that people rarely change."
Don said nothing to her comment and she continued. “I don’t want to be right Don but..." She paused for dramatic effect. "I heard you two decided to tie the knot."
“Yeah.”
"I am really sorry she's hurt you so bad. Maybe you two shouldn't be together if it causes you this much heartache."
"I don't know, Robin. I really don’t know." He looked at his watch. "It’s late. I should try to get home soon so I can at least see Maggie before Elisabeth puts her to bed."
"Um, ok. Hey, do you think you can give me a ride? My car is in the shop."
“Yeah, sure, not a problem.”
~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
They arrived at the front of Robin’s home. She said, "You want to come in for coffee or something?"
"Nah, I should just go on home."
"Don, you look like you're about to fall over. Come in and have a cup of coffee so you won’t fall asleep at the wheel."
"Yeah, alright."
Once in the house Robin puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes. She and Don continued to talk about their case as she poured coffee for them both. Don cracked his neck and groaned.
Robin said, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just my neck is stiff. It's been a long day."
'You want me to rub it?”
“Uh, no, but thanks.”
They talked about a few more details about the case until Don took one last sip of his coffee. “Thanks for the coffee but I gotta go.”
Robin said, “Oh, ok. Let me walk you to the door.”
At the door, as Don gave Robin a hug good-bye, she leaned in and kissed him, rubbing her body seductively against his.
Don, surprised by Robin’s actions, stood there while she trailed her lips down his neck. She let out a moaned and said, "I'll never hurt you Don. Not like she has." That’s when it hit him and everything came crashing around him. He heard his conscience screaming at him that that this was wrong and that he loved Elisabeth.
He pulled away from Robin. "Robin, I can’t do this with you. It’s not right."
Frustrated, Robin replied, "Don, you and I both know that she’s had done nothing but cause you pain since you’ve been together. She’s not good enough for you.”
Realization crept into his mind about why Elisabeth was not happy that he was friendly with Robin. He said, "No, Robin. You’re wrong. She has never intentionally hurt me. I let my own jealousy cloud my judgment. I’m not saying she’s perfect but I owe her more then this." He backed away from her and headed towards the front door. "Robin, I think we shouldn’t work together if possible but if we do I will give you the respect you deserve but we’re not friends anymore."
He left her house just missing Elisabeth by five minutes. Don drove to his house and knew that he had to at least try to get over this. He felt he owed it to Elisabeth to try to talk to her. He knew that she only loved him. She was right--everything they had done in the past had to stay in the past. She had admitted to him over the last few months that she really hated what she had become when she was working covertly for the NSA. He never questioned what those things were because he knew that she already berated herself enough over them. He just had to get home to try to set things right, and to tell her that he loved her and that they would get through this, that he knew she wasn’t holding back on him. He would admit that he was jealous but he couldn’t help himself. She and Maggie were his and no one else’s.
Chapter 42
Elle sat on the floor and watched her daughter. She was fast asleep in the extra crib they kept at Charlie’s. She watched the rise and fall of her little chest and how peaceful she looked. She was really a good baby. She hardly fussed. The other mothers in the weekly group meeting she attended with Maggie were always saying what a good baby Maggie was. She thought of her earlier conversation with Alan.
Alan said, “You and Don not getting along again?”
Elle sighed, “Yeah. How’d you guess?”
“Well, aside from you being unusually quiet I’ve learned to read your face, Elisabeth. Anyway, it’s very common for problems to crop up in a relationship after the birth of a child. My Margaret and I went through some difficulties when we first brought Don home.”
Elle thought to herself, “Well, I am sure the difficulties weren’t from one of you cheating on the other one.” Alan had paused in talking. He was watching Elisabeth intently. She looked at Alan and said, “I’m sorry Alan. Go on, you were saying?”
Alan continued. “Part of it was that Margaret felt like she was alone in taking care of Donnie and the other part was that I couldn’t understand what she was going through. We had some really horrible arguments, but in the end we talked things out and we listened to where the other one was coming from.”
“It seems no matter what I do he… he... aw hell. I just can’t get him to listen to me. Now I’m afraid that things are beyond repair.”
Alan put his hand on her shoulder and replied, “Elisabeth, nothing is beyond repair. You and Don both owe it to your daughter and yourselves to try to work through whatever you’re going through. It’s only fair. If you don’t then you’ll only have regrets.” He squeezed her shoulder. “If it will help, you can leave the baby here for the night so you can talk without worrying over her.” He started to leave the room and turned back to say one last thing, “Elisabeth, if you really love my son like I know you do then you’ll go to him and talk this out.”
Elle sat there for a few minutes and thought about what Alan said. Feeling confidant that it would make no difference, she decided that still, for Maggie, she would try to talk to Don. That way her conscience would be clear when she told an older, fatherless Maggie that she'd tried.
`~_______________________________________________________________________________~
Don walked into the front door of the house. All the lights were off. He quietly maneuvered into the kitchen to get a drink. He almost grabbed a beer but settled on water. He decided that he needed to keep his head clear. He silently walked into the living room.
He heard a voice out of the darkness speak. “Was it worth it?”
Switching on a light he said, “Elisabeth, why are you sitting here in the dark?”
She sat there motionless. Her hands were clasped on her lap. The expression she wore was the same icy one that she'd had when he interrogated her back at their first meeting so many months before. The woman who sat before him was not his Elisabeth but his nemesis, the operative Elle.
”Colby told me you drove Robin home. I drove by her house and your car was parked out front.” Elle stood up from the couch and put herself inches from him. He could feel her warm breath on his face. “Did you enjoy having sex with that woman?” Before Don could answer she said, “I hope it was worth it.”
Don inhaled sharply. He tried to touch her arm but she pulled back out of his reach. She hissed, “Don’t touch me.”
Don sighed and spread his hands out in front of him. “Elisabeth, listen to me. I didn’t sleep with Robin.”
She said with anger,” You didn’t really? Well, you were in her house for a while weren’t you?”
Don, trying to keep his voice calm, replied, “She offered me some coffee so I wouldn’t fall asleep on the way home.”
Elle muttered loud enough for him to hear, “I’m sure that’s not all she offered you.”
“What?”
She glared at Don, “You heard me.”
He started towards her. “Elle, do you really think that I would sleep with someone else while I’m with you?”
She turned her back on him. “I really don’t know, Fed. Would you?”
“God no, I have more integrity than that. I thought you knew that.”
She paused. “I did." She touched his collar and ear. When she pulled her hand away, there was lipstick on her finger. “But how can I now, when the evidence shows me otherwise. I also can smell her perfume. It’s Coco Chanel and that’s not what I wear.”
No, he thought, she always smells like lilies and gardenias and lately like baby powder mixed in.
He ran his hands through his hair and said, “The truth is I didn't sleep with her but I let things go a little too far. I allowed her to kiss me and for that I’m sorry. I told her that we could no longer be friends.”
“So that’s it. I’m supposed to just forgive you. You allowed her to manipulate you and I’m suppose to just forget it all.” Her voice increased an octave. “You also let your jealousy over my past affair with Coop get in the way of listening to me.”
He felt his own anger start to boil. “So I was the only one who was acting jealous. You’ve been on my case for months now about Robin....”
She cut him off, “Well, I was right. Wasn’t I?”
He was about to reply when he noticed two suitcases packed by the stairs. Realization hit him. She was going to leave him. His eyes turned hard and he grabbed her wrist. “You’re going to leave me and take my daughter away from me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
“How could you even think of doing that? What are you trying to do, hurt me?”
She simply replied, “Yes. Yes, that is all I want to do. I want you to feel the pain and sense of betrayal I feel.”
He shook his head at her. “So why are you still here? You could have left before I got home.”
“I’m here because your dad asked me to try to work things out with you for Maggie’s sake.”
“Wait--where is Maggie?” He gripped her wrist tighter.
“She’s at your dad’s for the night. He told me he would watch her so we could talk.”
“But you have no intention of talking, do you, Elisabeth?”
She shrugged. “No. I don’t.”
He grunted, “So that’s it. You walk out the door. Run away when things get tough. So you give up on us without trying to fight?”
“Is that what you want, me and Robin to get into some cat fight over you? Well, first of all it wouldn’t be much of a fight cause I would take her down so fast. Second of all, what would be the point? You made your choice already. What chance do I have? You want her, not me.”
Comprehension dawned. “You really think that I would choose her over you? That she's who I want? Is that what you think?” He laughed in spite of himself. He said gently, “Oh, Elisabeth no, I don’t want her. I only want you. I am so sorry that I let things get this bad. That I let you think that I had any type of feelings for her other then friendship. I don’t love her. I love you. I’ve been trying to tell you this for months!”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m sorry, Don, but is love enough? You obviously don’t trust me and now, how can I trust you?”
Don sank down on the couch. He put his face in his hands. He didn’t know what to say now. He really thought that if he just told her he loved her it would all be ok. He watched her sit on the other side of the couch. He was angry with himself for letting things get this bad. He finally found the woman that he would risk anything for and despite his best efforts it was falling apart. He watched Elle rub her knuckles over her lower lip, it was a habit he’s seen her do many times over the last year, usually when she was thinking. He decided that he would try one last thing to reach her. He said, “Elisabeth, I do trust you. Sometimes it’s hard to, but I do. You’re right--I let myself get jealous over Coop. I still think what you did to him was wrong but that is between you and him. Elisabeth, if you really don’t love me and don’t want to stay, I won’t keep you.”
They both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. He continued to watch her out of the corner of his eye. He noticed that she was unconsciously fiddling with her engagement ring. She kept twisting it back and forth as if she were deciding whether to leave it on or take it off. The significance of her playing with the ring was not lost on Don.
“Elisabeth?”
“Huh?" Snapped out of her thoughts, “What?”
He sighed. “You should stay here. I’ll go pack my things. The house is yours, anyway, since you technically paid for it. I’m gonna go to Charlie’s. I guess I’ll call you in a few days to make some arrangements for when I can see Maggie.” Don headed upstairs to get some of his things together with a heavy heart.
~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
Elle watched Don go upstairs. She felt her stomach turn over. She thought was she just going to let him go. He said he didn’t want Robin. It was her he wanted. She looked down at her rings. On her right middle finger she wore her family’s crest. It was one of the few things that she kept that had belonged to her father. On her left hand was the engagement ring that Don had given her at Christmas. The diamond glittered in the lamp light while the garnets flashed deep like dark blood. She looked again at her father’s ring and thought about what it meant to her. It meant family to her and how much she loved them. She missed her parents so much sometimes. The pain that she felt at losing both of her parents bubbled up in her throat, making it constrict. She blinked back tears. Her gaze went back to the engagement ring representing her new family. It not only embodied Don’s love for her but her relationship with Alan and Charlie. She smiled at the few times Alan had said that she was the daughter he had always wanted and Charlie would chime in that it was nice to have a sister to gang up on Don with. The two of them had welcomed her with open arms, especially Alan who was such a rock for her. He helped her so much when she was pregnant and with learning how to be a good parent to Maggie, always telling her that he was so happy that she loved his son so much. Always thanking her for his granddaughter. She felt new hot tears sear down her face at the idea of losing her second family. She sat alone for a long time and thought about everything over the last year. She remembered:
Her fist connecting with the FBI agent at the warehouse and how angry he was when he cuffed her and how she had walked out of the conference room laughing at the look of sheer frustration on that same agent's face.
How well she and Mario worked with Eppes and Granger. How the four of them had tracked down two of their suspects and how Eppes had had her back that day.
She remembered enjoying the banter between Don and Charlie. Silently laughing as Charlie tried to explain something and Don would tell him to dumb it down a bit for him and everyone else.
How he showed her compassion and empathy the night she went to his place when she quit. How with one quick move he wrapped his arms around her and she felt safe, the way he murmured her name over and over while they were in his bed.
The look of amusement on his face when he found out she was a pastry chef.
How she knew that she lied when she told him no strings attached. She was already attached more than she could help.
How she felt the first time he called her his girlfriend, and the first night she didn’t slip out while he slept, the concern on Don’s face that he showed her after she thwarted the attempted abduction of Alan and Charlie.
All the times he dropped everything and came when she called. After being attacked by the director at her apartment and when she had almost lost the baby back in the fall.
How they argued over the name for the baby. How he teased her, saying he wanted to name the baby Don.
How he would make love to her full of tenderness and tell her she was the most beautiful woman even at six months pregnant.
How he would put his lips to her belly to talk to the baby. Telling mother and child how much he loved them both.
The look of pain on his face when he found her in a pool of her own blood after Mary Parker attacked her. How he touched her neck to check for a pulse. His whispered words, "Oh please, please don't be ..." How he told her it would be ok. She had to be ok.
Realization hit her hard. It was that look of pain that he wore on his face tonight. That look cut right through her walls and to the pit of her heart and soul. A small sob escaped Elisabeth’s lips. He wasn’t the only one to blame for this mess--she was too. She had caused him so much pain. How could she do such a thing? What kind of monster was she? His words from earlier finally penetrated her mind.
“Oh, Elisabeth, no, I don’t want her. I only want you. I am so sorry that I let things get this bad. That I let you think that I had any type of feelings for her other then friendship. I don’t love her. I love you. I’ve been trying to tell you this for months!”
She swallowed her pride and knew what she had to do. She would beg for his forgiveness and hope that he hadn’t changed his mind.
She ran up the stairs taking two at a time and dashed into their bedroom. He looked up at her as he was zipping up an overnight bag. He gave her a puzzled look. “Elisabeth?”
She opened her mouth to speak but she didn’t know what to say to him. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Please, Don. I don’t want you to go. I love you so much that it hurts. I am so sorry for everything. You’re not the only one who needs to take the blame for how bad things got. Please don’t leave me.” Her voice choked as she said, “I need you too much. Please, oh please don’t leave me.”
In a heartbeat Don crossed the room and put his arms around Elisabeth. She cried so hard her body trembled. He held her tight and whispered, “It’s ok. We’ll work through it. It will be all right now. I’m not going anywhere.”
She said in a small voice, “You sure?”
He stroked her hair and said, “Yes.”
“Do you really love me?”
“Yes, I do. Do you love me?
She met his eyes and said, “Yes. Let me show you.” She leaned in and kissed him.
Hours later they lay in each other's arms, to tired to talk after their lovemaking, contenting themselves with just being together again.
Rating: Pg-13~Don Angst + H/C
Summary: Don and Elle's rift has become larger while Don is tempted. Elle considers the unthinkable in revenge
Spoilers: None really but I do try to incorporate canon as much as possible
Notes/Warnings: Thanks to shaolingirl for betaing. Any other boo boos are mine!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Numb3rs. I just like to play with them
Chapter 41
Over the last few weeks things had really fallen apart for Don and Elisabeth. Don was at his wit's end with the whole situation. He still couldn’t believe that she knew Coop and never said anything. True, her affair with him was years before they met and was long over but just the idea of the whole thing made his blood boil. Maybe he was jealous like she had so callously put it, but she had no right to keep this from him. He had been so frustrated over the last weeks that he was glad when Robin told him he could always talk to her. He didn’t really like to talk about his problems but he felt that at this point he really needed to.
Don and Robin were eating sandwiches in the break room and going over his testimony for the Monroe trial when Robin asked if he was ok.
Don sighed and rubbed his jaw, "Everything’s fine."
"Oh, come on, Don. Something’s wrong,” she said with a wide smile. “You know, I’ve been told I’m a good listener."
"Yeah, I know, Robin. It’s kind of personal."
"Well, we’re friends so you know you can talk to me. If you don’t want to you don’t have to but maybe it would help clear your head." She squeezed his hand and then went back to eating her sandwich.
They sat in silence for a while. Without thinking, Don spoke. "It’s Elisabeth. I just don’t know what to do."
"What happened?"
"I found out something that she yet again didn’t tell me about and I just can’t stop thinking about it."
Robin sat in silenced and waited for him to continue.
“I thought she had changed.”
Robin finally said, "Well, I hate to play devil’s advocate but it has been my experience that people rarely change."
Don said nothing to her comment and she continued. “I don’t want to be right Don but..." She paused for dramatic effect. "I heard you two decided to tie the knot."
“Yeah.”
"I am really sorry she's hurt you so bad. Maybe you two shouldn't be together if it causes you this much heartache."
"I don't know, Robin. I really don’t know." He looked at his watch. "It’s late. I should try to get home soon so I can at least see Maggie before Elisabeth puts her to bed."
"Um, ok. Hey, do you think you can give me a ride? My car is in the shop."
“Yeah, sure, not a problem.”
~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
They arrived at the front of Robin’s home. She said, "You want to come in for coffee or something?"
"Nah, I should just go on home."
"Don, you look like you're about to fall over. Come in and have a cup of coffee so you won’t fall asleep at the wheel."
"Yeah, alright."
Once in the house Robin puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes. She and Don continued to talk about their case as she poured coffee for them both. Don cracked his neck and groaned.
Robin said, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just my neck is stiff. It's been a long day."
'You want me to rub it?”
“Uh, no, but thanks.”
They talked about a few more details about the case until Don took one last sip of his coffee. “Thanks for the coffee but I gotta go.”
Robin said, “Oh, ok. Let me walk you to the door.”
At the door, as Don gave Robin a hug good-bye, she leaned in and kissed him, rubbing her body seductively against his.
Don, surprised by Robin’s actions, stood there while she trailed her lips down his neck. She let out a moaned and said, "I'll never hurt you Don. Not like she has." That’s when it hit him and everything came crashing around him. He heard his conscience screaming at him that that this was wrong and that he loved Elisabeth.
He pulled away from Robin. "Robin, I can’t do this with you. It’s not right."
Frustrated, Robin replied, "Don, you and I both know that she’s had done nothing but cause you pain since you’ve been together. She’s not good enough for you.”
Realization crept into his mind about why Elisabeth was not happy that he was friendly with Robin. He said, "No, Robin. You’re wrong. She has never intentionally hurt me. I let my own jealousy cloud my judgment. I’m not saying she’s perfect but I owe her more then this." He backed away from her and headed towards the front door. "Robin, I think we shouldn’t work together if possible but if we do I will give you the respect you deserve but we’re not friends anymore."
He left her house just missing Elisabeth by five minutes. Don drove to his house and knew that he had to at least try to get over this. He felt he owed it to Elisabeth to try to talk to her. He knew that she only loved him. She was right--everything they had done in the past had to stay in the past. She had admitted to him over the last few months that she really hated what she had become when she was working covertly for the NSA. He never questioned what those things were because he knew that she already berated herself enough over them. He just had to get home to try to set things right, and to tell her that he loved her and that they would get through this, that he knew she wasn’t holding back on him. He would admit that he was jealous but he couldn’t help himself. She and Maggie were his and no one else’s.
Chapter 42
Elle sat on the floor and watched her daughter. She was fast asleep in the extra crib they kept at Charlie’s. She watched the rise and fall of her little chest and how peaceful she looked. She was really a good baby. She hardly fussed. The other mothers in the weekly group meeting she attended with Maggie were always saying what a good baby Maggie was. She thought of her earlier conversation with Alan.
Alan said, “You and Don not getting along again?”
Elle sighed, “Yeah. How’d you guess?”
“Well, aside from you being unusually quiet I’ve learned to read your face, Elisabeth. Anyway, it’s very common for problems to crop up in a relationship after the birth of a child. My Margaret and I went through some difficulties when we first brought Don home.”
Elle thought to herself, “Well, I am sure the difficulties weren’t from one of you cheating on the other one.” Alan had paused in talking. He was watching Elisabeth intently. She looked at Alan and said, “I’m sorry Alan. Go on, you were saying?”
Alan continued. “Part of it was that Margaret felt like she was alone in taking care of Donnie and the other part was that I couldn’t understand what she was going through. We had some really horrible arguments, but in the end we talked things out and we listened to where the other one was coming from.”
“It seems no matter what I do he… he... aw hell. I just can’t get him to listen to me. Now I’m afraid that things are beyond repair.”
Alan put his hand on her shoulder and replied, “Elisabeth, nothing is beyond repair. You and Don both owe it to your daughter and yourselves to try to work through whatever you’re going through. It’s only fair. If you don’t then you’ll only have regrets.” He squeezed her shoulder. “If it will help, you can leave the baby here for the night so you can talk without worrying over her.” He started to leave the room and turned back to say one last thing, “Elisabeth, if you really love my son like I know you do then you’ll go to him and talk this out.”
Elle sat there for a few minutes and thought about what Alan said. Feeling confidant that it would make no difference, she decided that still, for Maggie, she would try to talk to Don. That way her conscience would be clear when she told an older, fatherless Maggie that she'd tried.
`~_______________________________________________________________________________~
Don walked into the front door of the house. All the lights were off. He quietly maneuvered into the kitchen to get a drink. He almost grabbed a beer but settled on water. He decided that he needed to keep his head clear. He silently walked into the living room.
He heard a voice out of the darkness speak. “Was it worth it?”
Switching on a light he said, “Elisabeth, why are you sitting here in the dark?”
She sat there motionless. Her hands were clasped on her lap. The expression she wore was the same icy one that she'd had when he interrogated her back at their first meeting so many months before. The woman who sat before him was not his Elisabeth but his nemesis, the operative Elle.
”Colby told me you drove Robin home. I drove by her house and your car was parked out front.” Elle stood up from the couch and put herself inches from him. He could feel her warm breath on his face. “Did you enjoy having sex with that woman?” Before Don could answer she said, “I hope it was worth it.”
Don inhaled sharply. He tried to touch her arm but she pulled back out of his reach. She hissed, “Don’t touch me.”
Don sighed and spread his hands out in front of him. “Elisabeth, listen to me. I didn’t sleep with Robin.”
She said with anger,” You didn’t really? Well, you were in her house for a while weren’t you?”
Don, trying to keep his voice calm, replied, “She offered me some coffee so I wouldn’t fall asleep on the way home.”
Elle muttered loud enough for him to hear, “I’m sure that’s not all she offered you.”
“What?”
She glared at Don, “You heard me.”
He started towards her. “Elle, do you really think that I would sleep with someone else while I’m with you?”
She turned her back on him. “I really don’t know, Fed. Would you?”
“God no, I have more integrity than that. I thought you knew that.”
She paused. “I did." She touched his collar and ear. When she pulled her hand away, there was lipstick on her finger. “But how can I now, when the evidence shows me otherwise. I also can smell her perfume. It’s Coco Chanel and that’s not what I wear.”
No, he thought, she always smells like lilies and gardenias and lately like baby powder mixed in.
He ran his hands through his hair and said, “The truth is I didn't sleep with her but I let things go a little too far. I allowed her to kiss me and for that I’m sorry. I told her that we could no longer be friends.”
“So that’s it. I’m supposed to just forgive you. You allowed her to manipulate you and I’m suppose to just forget it all.” Her voice increased an octave. “You also let your jealousy over my past affair with Coop get in the way of listening to me.”
He felt his own anger start to boil. “So I was the only one who was acting jealous. You’ve been on my case for months now about Robin....”
She cut him off, “Well, I was right. Wasn’t I?”
He was about to reply when he noticed two suitcases packed by the stairs. Realization hit him. She was going to leave him. His eyes turned hard and he grabbed her wrist. “You’re going to leave me and take my daughter away from me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
“How could you even think of doing that? What are you trying to do, hurt me?”
She simply replied, “Yes. Yes, that is all I want to do. I want you to feel the pain and sense of betrayal I feel.”
He shook his head at her. “So why are you still here? You could have left before I got home.”
“I’m here because your dad asked me to try to work things out with you for Maggie’s sake.”
“Wait--where is Maggie?” He gripped her wrist tighter.
“She’s at your dad’s for the night. He told me he would watch her so we could talk.”
“But you have no intention of talking, do you, Elisabeth?”
She shrugged. “No. I don’t.”
He grunted, “So that’s it. You walk out the door. Run away when things get tough. So you give up on us without trying to fight?”
“Is that what you want, me and Robin to get into some cat fight over you? Well, first of all it wouldn’t be much of a fight cause I would take her down so fast. Second of all, what would be the point? You made your choice already. What chance do I have? You want her, not me.”
Comprehension dawned. “You really think that I would choose her over you? That she's who I want? Is that what you think?” He laughed in spite of himself. He said gently, “Oh, Elisabeth no, I don’t want her. I only want you. I am so sorry that I let things get this bad. That I let you think that I had any type of feelings for her other then friendship. I don’t love her. I love you. I’ve been trying to tell you this for months!”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m sorry, Don, but is love enough? You obviously don’t trust me and now, how can I trust you?”
Don sank down on the couch. He put his face in his hands. He didn’t know what to say now. He really thought that if he just told her he loved her it would all be ok. He watched her sit on the other side of the couch. He was angry with himself for letting things get this bad. He finally found the woman that he would risk anything for and despite his best efforts it was falling apart. He watched Elle rub her knuckles over her lower lip, it was a habit he’s seen her do many times over the last year, usually when she was thinking. He decided that he would try one last thing to reach her. He said, “Elisabeth, I do trust you. Sometimes it’s hard to, but I do. You’re right--I let myself get jealous over Coop. I still think what you did to him was wrong but that is between you and him. Elisabeth, if you really don’t love me and don’t want to stay, I won’t keep you.”
They both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. He continued to watch her out of the corner of his eye. He noticed that she was unconsciously fiddling with her engagement ring. She kept twisting it back and forth as if she were deciding whether to leave it on or take it off. The significance of her playing with the ring was not lost on Don.
“Elisabeth?”
“Huh?" Snapped out of her thoughts, “What?”
He sighed. “You should stay here. I’ll go pack my things. The house is yours, anyway, since you technically paid for it. I’m gonna go to Charlie’s. I guess I’ll call you in a few days to make some arrangements for when I can see Maggie.” Don headed upstairs to get some of his things together with a heavy heart.
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Elle watched Don go upstairs. She felt her stomach turn over. She thought was she just going to let him go. He said he didn’t want Robin. It was her he wanted. She looked down at her rings. On her right middle finger she wore her family’s crest. It was one of the few things that she kept that had belonged to her father. On her left hand was the engagement ring that Don had given her at Christmas. The diamond glittered in the lamp light while the garnets flashed deep like dark blood. She looked again at her father’s ring and thought about what it meant to her. It meant family to her and how much she loved them. She missed her parents so much sometimes. The pain that she felt at losing both of her parents bubbled up in her throat, making it constrict. She blinked back tears. Her gaze went back to the engagement ring representing her new family. It not only embodied Don’s love for her but her relationship with Alan and Charlie. She smiled at the few times Alan had said that she was the daughter he had always wanted and Charlie would chime in that it was nice to have a sister to gang up on Don with. The two of them had welcomed her with open arms, especially Alan who was such a rock for her. He helped her so much when she was pregnant and with learning how to be a good parent to Maggie, always telling her that he was so happy that she loved his son so much. Always thanking her for his granddaughter. She felt new hot tears sear down her face at the idea of losing her second family. She sat alone for a long time and thought about everything over the last year. She remembered:
Her fist connecting with the FBI agent at the warehouse and how angry he was when he cuffed her and how she had walked out of the conference room laughing at the look of sheer frustration on that same agent's face.
How well she and Mario worked with Eppes and Granger. How the four of them had tracked down two of their suspects and how Eppes had had her back that day.
She remembered enjoying the banter between Don and Charlie. Silently laughing as Charlie tried to explain something and Don would tell him to dumb it down a bit for him and everyone else.
How he showed her compassion and empathy the night she went to his place when she quit. How with one quick move he wrapped his arms around her and she felt safe, the way he murmured her name over and over while they were in his bed.
The look of amusement on his face when he found out she was a pastry chef.
How she knew that she lied when she told him no strings attached. She was already attached more than she could help.
How she felt the first time he called her his girlfriend, and the first night she didn’t slip out while he slept, the concern on Don’s face that he showed her after she thwarted the attempted abduction of Alan and Charlie.
All the times he dropped everything and came when she called. After being attacked by the director at her apartment and when she had almost lost the baby back in the fall.
How they argued over the name for the baby. How he teased her, saying he wanted to name the baby Don.
How he would make love to her full of tenderness and tell her she was the most beautiful woman even at six months pregnant.
How he would put his lips to her belly to talk to the baby. Telling mother and child how much he loved them both.
The look of pain on his face when he found her in a pool of her own blood after Mary Parker attacked her. How he touched her neck to check for a pulse. His whispered words, "Oh please, please don't be ..." How he told her it would be ok. She had to be ok.
Realization hit her hard. It was that look of pain that he wore on his face tonight. That look cut right through her walls and to the pit of her heart and soul. A small sob escaped Elisabeth’s lips. He wasn’t the only one to blame for this mess--she was too. She had caused him so much pain. How could she do such a thing? What kind of monster was she? His words from earlier finally penetrated her mind.
“Oh, Elisabeth, no, I don’t want her. I only want you. I am so sorry that I let things get this bad. That I let you think that I had any type of feelings for her other then friendship. I don’t love her. I love you. I’ve been trying to tell you this for months!”
She swallowed her pride and knew what she had to do. She would beg for his forgiveness and hope that he hadn’t changed his mind.
She ran up the stairs taking two at a time and dashed into their bedroom. He looked up at her as he was zipping up an overnight bag. He gave her a puzzled look. “Elisabeth?”
She opened her mouth to speak but she didn’t know what to say to him. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Please, Don. I don’t want you to go. I love you so much that it hurts. I am so sorry for everything. You’re not the only one who needs to take the blame for how bad things got. Please don’t leave me.” Her voice choked as she said, “I need you too much. Please, oh please don’t leave me.”
In a heartbeat Don crossed the room and put his arms around Elisabeth. She cried so hard her body trembled. He held her tight and whispered, “It’s ok. We’ll work through it. It will be all right now. I’m not going anywhere.”
She said in a small voice, “You sure?”
He stroked her hair and said, “Yes.”
“Do you really love me?”
“Yes, I do. Do you love me?
She met his eyes and said, “Yes. Let me show you.” She leaned in and kissed him.
Hours later they lay in each other's arms, to tired to talk after their lovemaking, contenting themselves with just being together again.