Comments | elshastorm: i want you to understand that you don't understand

elshastorm

i want you to understand that you don't understand

Sep 13, 2007 00:11

It pisses me off that I feel like I'm doing an injustice to myself by not being upset about stuff that happened to me two years ago. It pisses me off that I force myself to feel this way ( Read more... )

the accident

Comments 30

vintagehandbag September 13 2007, 17:55:19 UTC

I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm sorry you're angry. I'm glad you're with us, living. <3

elshastorm September 13 2007, 20:26:02 UTC

It's really gotten better over the last year. I don't dwell on it nearly as much as I used to. But on September 12, it's just difficult to not get wrapped up in the past.

Thanks! I really am too. :)

♥

mycroftxxx October 3 2007, 01:02:43 UTC

Though we don't talk anymore, I am glad you lived.

elshastorm October 3 2007, 20:11:35 UTC

Thanks, I am too.

I drove right by your house the other day for work.

♥

mycroftxxx October 3 2007, 21:33:15 UTC

Are you still in town?

elshastorm October 4 2007, 20:23:40 UTC

Not still. Back temporarily for work training.

♥

Thread 8

deviantsaint December 16 2007, 06:57:35 UTC

I came across your journal from reading an advert for a warehouse party that you posted. I saw this posting and read the entries tagged for the accident ( ... )

elshastorm December 18 2007, 05:55:00 UTC

Yes, I believe that harrowing is an accurate description. I think that imagining your own reaction to any sort of experience like this is nearly impossible.

I prefer not to think of it as luck, but I am truly very, very fortunate. The doctors very explicitly told me that they were not expecting me to recover so well, and certainly not so quickly.

I can definitely relate to the freaking out a little inside thing. My reactions have gotten better and more subtle. I don't think I've ever been as scared as the entire time I was in the hospital. I dunno. It's hard to describe. Because I didn't have the presence of mind to be aware of the things going on at the time, it sort of hit me more slowly. It probably took me about a week to really have it sink in, so I can't say that there was some sort of sudden realization of fear. Does that make any sense ( ... )

deviantsaint December 18 2007, 16:17:56 UTC

it makes absolute sense. Sometimes it must still creep up on you how much of a close call you had. definately does remind us of our mortality. I've managed to come to terms with that part, but it was a long hard road. Everyday though, we get a little bit better, step by step.

as for not being broken. I think there are a lot of people who haven't really come face to face with that feeling, some would call it a fear. So it escapes alot of people (me for a while as well) of how important it is.

I couldn't make it to the show, I'm still in Afghanistan. Perhaps I'll be able to catch another when I'm back in Austin. However that won't be til late jan to early feb and then I head back out (to Iraq this time).

Thanks for the invite though. :)

elshastorm December 18 2007, 20:15:50 UTC

It does still creep up on me sometimes.

Ah, Afghanistan. Well, starting Feb 1., we're having an every-other-Friday thing. "Beat Freakin' Friday" Maybe you could make it out to one of those.

Why so many tours? My father was in Iraq for about 2 years.

♥

(The comment has been removed)

elshastorm December 26 2007, 14:24:48 UTC

I don't know who you are or how you found me or what posessed you to comment on this entry, but you are very presumptuous.

How dare you tell me that I'm arrogant! HOW DARE YOU! You don't know anything about this. You know nothing at all.

And your story about your mother and brother only served to irritate me more. I'm sorry that they died, but that doesn't have a damn thing to do with me nor does it effect me in any way. It does not change my perspective on myself or what happened that day two years ago.

FUCK YOU! You're an asshole.

(The comment has been removed)

elshastorm December 31 2007, 03:56:46 UTC

Well, I have to thank you so much for bringing it to my attention that I need so much help! I mean, as the family member of physicians (totally related to psychology), I completely take your word as gold and accept the idea that you are an authoritative source on the matter.

And I'm also incredibly glad that you're here to stand up for my mother. Because she definitely needs help from the likes of you.

I love how you first pointed out that I need help, and then attack me for my "redundant self-pity". Did you miss that day of Psych 101 where they explained PTSD?

Why are you fucking bothering me at all? Why is this worth your time or effort? Get a fucking hobby.