I thought this post had been lost.

[elsabeta]

A few weeks later, I returned to LJ to post something inane, and it asks me if I want to restore from a previous draft.  Previous draft?  What had I been writing? and so I clicked.  I suppose I'm a sucker for this sort of thing--a ridiculous pack-rat who hopes to find herself in the detritus of the life she's been frittering away.  This is what I

Comments

[philosofialogos]

Who are you supporting with your 2 jobs?

Writing ... I never do it because I want to do it perfectly and it's never perfect. And now my head is full of mush.

I took probably 5 different journal entries and analyzed them, coming up with a different author I wrote like each time.

[elsabeta]

There are two humans and two cats in my household, and as I was out of work for about a year, there is also a debt monster in my closet that necessitates support.

Incidentally, you are perfectly allowed to attribute some brain mush to your little one: I am told that pregnancy does that. Thank you for your comment. :)

[arimania]

Sounds like there is some phenomenally quiet anxiety going on right now. Also sounds eerily similar to what's fucking with me since mom died. So, I guess... Would you like to talk?

[elsabeta]

Thank you for your offer, and I am sorry for being late in responding. To a certain degree, you're right, although anxiety is but one of the issues I'm working on. A beloved friend once joked that I need a magazine rack for my issues, but don't we all? I continue to hope that this is one of the many stepping stones on my path to wholeness. As for talking, well, I'm not very good at it in general, and have an almost pathological dislike of phones to boot. But I can say that I was genuinely surprised and touched that you offered, and am not feeling so sorry for myself as before because of it. Thank you very much. And I am sorry to hear that you are suffering in a similar fashion, as I wouldn't wish my black dog on even the worst enemy. Onward, my dear, and don't give up.