I'm back! First of all, I'm really really sorry that this chapter took so long, but I have reasons. One reason was the heatwave, made it immpossible to stay in the computer room for days! Then (on a much sadder note) I got news that my grandmother is dying of old age. So as you can see, I haven't been in a writing mood, but amidst all the saddness
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Comments 11
I loved the characterization in this one. You did a good job of prtraying an amnesia-Alphonse and his emotions and such. Edward was well done again, and I loved the part with Havoc. Everything was well written save a few errors. For constructive criticism, I've noticed in a few places where you switch tense. It's good grammar to keep it all in past or present tense, in description, not necessarily dialogue. Just thought that might help!
All in all, great chapter. Can't wait for the next!
Oh, and I loved the quote about Al's birthday gift. There is a song, "The gift" by Seether that matches that, and the mood of elricest, almost perfectly. Look up the lyrics online or get the song from somewhere. I think you'd like the lyrics, if anything.
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Hmmm a song by seether that matches Elricest...Must listen! *goes to download song*
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Skeletons is doing one
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oh and i just waan slug those other guyz lol
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dont woryy take your time I understand that of your granny, it's hard so dont you worry much about the fic you'll worte it when you get to wirte it ^^
-huggs-
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Thank you for understanding, she actually passed away today, so I don't know when I'll be able to write the next chapter. Please bare with me though, I promise it won't disappoint.
*hugs back*
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*hugs really hard*
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Thanks for pointing out the You're and your thing, I always get confused when it comes to that. X(
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