Happy Birthday Princess_s! No cake, but some soul-crushing angst.

[eloise_bright]

Writer's block. Is not fun. I will not waste your time whining about it, but yeah, it's getting me down.

But today is princess_s's birthday, and I had to write something for my Asylum roomie, the girl who handheld me through my first Con, and who I kept awake with my snoring and kicking

Comments

[frightened]

Daddy is so cold that he’s shivering, but he holds Sammy tight, two arms wrapped around Dean’s baby brother, so tight that there’s no room for Dean.

You know, that was a thing that always got to me about that scene.

Ow. Angst. Oh, I want to give Dean a hug.

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. I keep going back to that scene and wondering why John is not holding Dean. And what Dean is thinking as he sits there, huddled against his dad and not being held by him.

*wipes eyes* The kid needs a hug.

[embroiderama]

Ooooh, poor wee Dean! This is lovely but so sad. :(

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. Princess_s wondered if Dean had seen Mary on the ceiling and we spent an inordinate amount of time calculating the height of wee!Dean and whether he could have seen Mary.

[janissa11]

It has always bugged me so much that John wasn't holding Dean, too, after the fire. I mean, probably that's me making too much of it, but I felt so SORRY for the poor kid.

Um, I still do, erm, actually.

Beautiful but heartwrenching story there. Aw DEAN. *wibbles*

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. I know, I've always wondered why John didn't put his arm around Dean at that moment. It plays on my mind, and I can imagine little Dean trying to figure out what he did wrong that his dad didn't hold him.

And I get the feeling he's spent the rest of his life trying to make up for that imaginary crime. *wibbles*

[iamstealthyone]

Nicely done. I really like your wee!Dean voice here. It’s so innocent, which of course makes me hurt for how different he’ll be now that Mary’s gone and his whole world’s changed.

Good mix of sweetness and pain.

Favorite lines:

He reads Dean his story, except he gets real sleepy and misses out words sometimes, so Dean has to poke him with his elbow. A lot.

*g* Too cute.

Mommy doesn’t miss out words and she doesn’t snore like Daddy, but Mommy doesn’t show Dean how to fix cars, and she doesn’t know how to toss a baseball, so it’s okay if Daddy doesn’t know how to read Hop on Pop without snoring.

Aww. :)

Dean climbs out of bed, and the floor is warm, which is wrong because when he has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night the floor is always cold under his bare feet.

I really like these details.

And that’s when Dean knows. He knows that the angels didn’t watch over Mommy, and they didn’t keep her safe, and he won’t ever see Mommy again, not even in the morning light.

Oh, Dean.

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. A lot of personal experience in the initial family stuff - but you probably guessed that. *g* The falling asleep mid story and the elbow poking. I can imagine little Dean getting out of bed and being slightly disoriented, wondering why things were hot instead of cold.

And then the realization that his mommy is gone, and she's never coming back. *wibbles*

[iamstealthyone]

A lot of personal experience in the initial family stuff - but you probably guessed that. *g*

*g* That's one reason I like writing the wee!boys -- my own kids provide some great inspiration.

And then the realization that his mommy is gone, and she's never coming back. *wibbles*

*cuddles wee!Dean*

[nocturnal08]

poor baby :( So sad, I can't stand it.

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. It's heartbreaking being in his head at this point in time.